September 24, 2024 • 43 mins
Learn how to discover who you really are, what you feel, what you need, what you want, and then be able to express that to others in healthy appropriate ways. When you are living authentically, you can have healthier and joyful loving relationships with others and create an inspired and empowered life
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. We are live Tuesday mornings at
eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:16):
will be continuing to talk about the Steps to your
The Steps to an Authentic You Part two I'm your
host and and Part two So learn how to discover
(01:37):
who you really are, what you feel, what you need,
and what you want and then be able to express
them to others in healthy, appropriate ways. When you are
living authentically, you can have healthier and joyful, loving relationships
(02:02):
with others and create and inspired and empowered life together.
Let's create a life you love. I'm your host Nancy Deutsch,
licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and Intuitive breakthrough Expert,
and I comby my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to
(02:27):
inspire and transform you to create an inspired and empowered life.
This show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. So the first thing,
(02:48):
as I talked about, let's talk about the being authentic
what and being real? So what does that really mean?
And what it really means means is being true and
authentic to you. It's really following the guidance of the
deeper part of you, that part of you that knows
(03:13):
who you really are at the deepest level of your being.
And I see that we have Ali in the house,
Good morning Ali. And it's really being true to yourself,
being true to what your feelings, what your thoughts, what
(03:34):
is true for you, and not letting anyone prevent you
or interfear with what you know is true for you.
And it's learning to have the courage, the courage to
be you no matter what. And most of us grew
(04:00):
up thinking and feeling it wasn't okay to be ourselves.
And so now this is about you breaking free and
breaking out, and that's what we're talking about. I did
a rhyme and I didn't even need it anyway. I
(04:20):
also want to get to questions and comments from last
week's show, So I am hoping that we have. We
have Misty and Anesthesia in the house. Noistagia. Okay, So,
first of all, last week we were talking about conversations
(04:46):
and we were talking about different kinds of conversations to have. Now,
a lot of people like to have conversations while they're
in the car. As long as you have hands free,
you're okay. And that's fine to have a conversation in
the car. And I know what it's like if you're
(05:08):
driving a long distance sometimes it just really helps to
pass away the time time. And then I talked, so
Misty said, we have some of the best conversations in
the car while driving long distances with others in the car. Okay,
(05:31):
so she's driving long distances with others in the car
and she's having great conversations, which I whether you're on
the phone and you're doing hands praying or you're with
other people and you have amazing conversations, totally want to
(05:51):
support that. This is about finding the best ways to connect.
And then I was taught and we were talking about
multitasking versus not multitasking, and I was talking about having
conversations where you are not multitasking and you're really very
(06:14):
present and grounded and in the moment, and Anastasia asked,
can you tell us more about those conversations and those conversations,
Missy before I get into those conversations. Misty says, fun
(06:35):
times most of the time. Thank you, Missy, And that's good.
It's like, this is what it's about. It's about connecting
with others and having fun times. The conversations that I
was talking about, I called them healing conversations. So Missy's
talking about fun conversations, okay, And fun conversations are really cool.
(06:58):
And it doesn't mean healing conversations don't have to be fun,
but there's a little different energy. And what I mean
by that is a healing conversation is very often when
you are needing to confront somebody or talk to somebody
(07:19):
about something that's happening for you, feelings that are coming up,
or something that you noticed, or they need to talk
to you. And now I've talked about scheduling time where
it's convenient for both of you so that you can
both be present. If somebody is watching TV and they're
(07:40):
really not present with you, then that is not a
good time to start those healing conversations. So the Healing
conversations are when you can both be fully present and
you look into each other's eyes, yes, and start off
(08:03):
with what is it that you acknowledge about each other?
What is it that you care about or that you
love about each other? And you may be able to
do that or you may not. But the most important
thing in with a healing conversation is you're bringing up
(08:27):
You want to bring up the truth and if you
can bring up a positive and then go into what
is occurring for you when and remember you want to
focus on their behavior, not who they are. You never
want to attack somebody. It's about focusing on the behavior
(08:52):
and not who they are. And so when you did
this behavior, I felt or I felt such and such
when you did when this behavior happened, or when you
did this. So, for example, a very common one is
(09:14):
you text someone and you're waiting, and you're waiting, and
you're waiting for the answer, and they don't answer you,
and and so then what happens for you and you're
let's say it's you're waiting for an answer because you
need to make plans, make plans with them or make
(09:36):
plans with someone else, but you need an answer upon
this person and they don't answer you, and so what
happens is you get triggered or activated, and then you
start thinking, why are they not doing that? What's happening?
I can't believe that, And all these things are running
in your head and you really don't know the truth
(09:58):
of what happened. So you decide, you say, and then
there's actually the pattern that's happening in the relationship. Let's
say you are trying to talk to them and they
are and you're on the phone, and they're distracted, and
(10:23):
there you can hear all these noises in the background,
and you want to have a conversation, but you can
feel that they're not really present. And then maybe even
when you're together, when you're together in person, maybe they're
watching TV or they're on their phone looking at their
(10:47):
phone instead of looking at you. So there is a
pattern in the relationship where you're you're you're feeling something.
So let's say and you've on your work before the conversation. Okay,
so you've tapped into what's coming up for you, all right,
(11:09):
and what you realize is it feels like you The
bottom line is you feel like you're not being heard
or validated or respected, and it's really hurting. And so
what happens in a healing conversation is I feel and
(11:34):
I remember, this is a conversation with someone who you
want to be more connected with, who that you want
their intimacy and the connection to grow. If it's a
close friend or or someone that you want to get
to know better, but this you've been noticing this pattern.
(11:57):
If it's someone who is a cold or something like that,
you're not going to want to share your deeper feelings.
Or if it's someone that you're not particularly feeling safe
with at the time, then you may not want to
share deeper feelings about what's coming up for you. So
(12:18):
what happens is you share I feel really hurt unheard.
I don't feel heard, and I feel even at times
disrespected when we are connecting because I feel like I
(12:38):
watch and be specific with the behaviors I watch, I
can on the phone. When we're on the phone, I
hear all these noises in the background, and then I
get distracted and it's hard for me to be present.
So I have a sense that and you don't want
to put anything in their mouth, so just stick with you.
(13:00):
And I also I also when I'm texting you and
then I don't get a response back, especially when I
need to know plans. And then when we're with each other,
I notice that you're busy on the phone and you're
not really present with me, or you're not connecting with me,
(13:25):
and I feel really hurt or I feel and it's
just I really and what I really want is is
I really want to feel more connected with you. I
really want us to grow together and be more connected.
And so and I see the question come in thank anesthasia,
(13:50):
and so that is the kind of what like that
is what you want to become aware of. And then
and hopefully the other person can hear you and you
can have a healthy conversation where both of you are expressing. Now, ideally,
(14:17):
let's say the person says, okay, I hear that you
really are not feeling heard and that at times you
feel really disrespected when I'm not answering you or when
I'm busy doing something on the phone, and I am
going to work on being more present in our relationship.
(14:38):
That would be a healthy outcome to the conversation, to
the healing conversation. And that's what you're going for that's
what you want and hopefully the other person can go
there with you. Now, Anasasia says, what is the best
way to RECOGNI the pattern? Recognize these patterns. So the
(15:06):
best way to recognize these patterns is to start noticing
in your relationships if there's someone where you're feeling angry
at often, or if there is like really starting to
(15:29):
look at now, this is where being your authentic self
comes in. When you're connecting with who you really are
and you're starting to go deeper into understanding what your
needs are, what your feelings are, and realizing that another person. Now,
(15:59):
and I really want to make this clear, there is
no one person who can ever satisfy all your needs.
It's not possible. And if you are looking to one
person to satisfy all your needs, that you setting yourself
(16:20):
up for disappointment and expectations. Now, however, in a relationship,
there's always give and take, and you want a balanced relationship.
So if you're if you find that you're constantly giving
and perhaps you're feeling like you're giving more than you're receiving,
(16:44):
then you need to look at that imbalance. Or if
you find that you're feeling angry and you feel angry
at the person a lot of the time or a
good amount of the time, it's starting to look at
what is creating this anger, what am I angry at,
(17:09):
and starting to figure out for you. Now, this has
nothing to do with the other person right now, it's
about you discovering what's going on for you, because the
first piece of a healthy conversation is uncovering what is
(17:31):
going on for you, what is being triggered, and then
you can bring the conversation to the other person once
you've kind of unraveled it and processed it. So the
best way to recognize the patterns is if you notice
that someone on a regular basis is let's say, not
(17:54):
paying attention to you, or not really being present with you,
or is very distracted a lot of the time when
you're connecting, and it feels really, it feels really uncomfortable
with you. Now, that's one thing. There may be other
patterns that are going on in the relationship. Now. Also,
(18:17):
I also want to remind you the present person is
not only themselves, but when you get triggered, they are
triggering someone from your past when you were growing up,
more likely as a child and more likely as a parent.
(18:41):
A mother or a father or a caretaker. They could
be triggering the same pattern now, and if you really
want to heal a relationship, even though they may be
triggering the same pattern, it's still means that you want
to bring it up to them because to me, healthy
(19:04):
relationships are two individuals that are willing to hear each
other and willing to grow together and willing to admit
mistakes or where or their vulnerabilities so that the relationship
can continue on in healthy ways. And so it's starting
(19:29):
so to recognize the patterns. If you see behaviors that
keep happening again and again where they're definitely triggering you,
that there's two pieces there. There's one piece that they're
(19:49):
triggering something old and this is an opportunity for you
to heal so that you can connect more deeply with
your authentic self. And two about working on healing the
relationship in prison time, because you want healthier relationships. When
you're in relationships with people, more likely than not you
(20:14):
have been drawn together so that they are satisfying or
you want them to satisfy some type of unconscious, subconscious need. Okay,
So and I see Charles has a question, I will
be answering that very shortly, Charles, and so hopefully Anastasia
(20:37):
tell me if there's any other questions and if that
was helpful, and I want to go into so people
are satisfying that unconscious need. So you want to discover
what is being triggered by another person, and then the
next thing is to work on healing the relationship and
moving it to another level so that both both of
(21:00):
you are feeling more loving and the relationship is getting
healthier and better. Thank you, honest, Asia'm glad she said
it was helpful. Thank you all right. So I wanted
just define because I used a few terms, and if
you're listening for the first time, I want to make
sure we're all on the same page. So the conscious mind,
(21:24):
your conscious mind is the part of you that tuned in,
whether you're tuning in live or you're tuning in at
another time. Thank you conscious mind of yours, okay, because
you made a decision to tune in now, and you
could have been drawn on a soul level to tune in.
(21:45):
That's your authentic part. You were guided intuitively, but and
you listened to your intuitive feeling, thinking, knowing, and that
was your conscious mind that made the decision. And when
you make an empowered decision, you can feel it. It
feels good, it feels inspiring, and it feels empowering. You
(22:09):
know you're on the right track. And that's your conscious
mind making very clear conscious decisions. Now, very often decisions
are ruled by the unconscious and subconscious mind. A lot
of times I talk subconscious, so I use them interchangeably.
Your subconscious unconscious mind is the part of you from
(22:33):
the moment you were conceived to present time has recorded
every moment, every breadth that you have been alive. And
that includes that includes not only this lifetime from when
you were younger, because a lot of our stuff happens
(22:56):
before we're even each all believe or not. And then
there's past life memories, and there's memories, or there's ancestral
memories and ancestral patterns that can still trigger you. And
(23:23):
usually what happens with an ancestral pattern is you notice
a pattern in your family with your mother or your father,
and then the next thing you know, oh my gosh,
you're repeating the pattern. And the most important thing that
you can do is having awareness wherever the pattern came from,
is having that awareness, starting to notice starting to become
(23:47):
even more conscious and aware of those patterns. And that's
also part of what Anatasia was asking about, how do
you recognize them? The more conscious and away you become,
the more connected with that authentic self, you start recognizing
patterns that you may not have been able to recognize before.
(24:13):
And so it's really an important piece for you to
recognize those patterns and know it's part of your journey.
And remember this is a journey. Okay, it's not an
ongoing destin. It's an ongoing destination, but it's not like, oh,
(24:34):
this is it, You've got it, you're done. We are
always growing, always changing, always moving, growing, expanding. So so
now I know we have a question from Charles. Let's
(24:55):
put the question up, why do you humans seek one
person if no one person can fill all their needs?
Do you see this as being a floor in the
thinking Charles? So, what I really feel is that it's
not really it's it's actually, I will tell you from
(25:18):
cave man days, it's actually a biological function. Okay, humans
came together, and here's the thing. There are societies and
cultures that have polyamory. And I'm not talking about that,
but I do think that when it comes to romantic
(25:39):
relationships from cave man days, it was part. It was
to promote and to keep the species going. Now and
here's the thing. In our culture, it's always all about love.
Romantic love. That's the thing. And listen, romantic law is amazing.
(26:01):
And I also want you to know having one person
in an intimate romantic relationship can actually be the key
to amazing and powerful healing, growth and change. And there's
a word. And you can have this with friends too,
(26:23):
close friends, close intimate friends, but there's something that takes
it to another level. In a close intimate relationship am
a person that perhaps you're living with or that there's
something And I love the saying I don't know where
exactly it came from into intimacy into me, I see.
(26:47):
And that's what happens when you have a close relationship
with a romantic partner or very close friends. Because I
also want you to know close friends and also be
part of that. It's having a very close connection with
another person where you learn about yourself and you learn
(27:09):
about them and together, like in a romantic relationship, you
grow together. That is ideally what you want. You want
a relationship that's going to help you to transform. And
if you notice the healthiest relationships all relationships, whether they
(27:31):
are romantic or friendships, is they bring out the best
in you. They bring out and it doesn't mean all
the time, okay, because we all are human, we all
make mistakes, but they bring out the best in you
most of the time. And that's what you want to
(27:52):
look at. That's what you really want to look at
when it comes to relationships. And so there isn't it's
not a flaw. I think that it's a possibility of
potential because when you have that special connection with one person,
(28:15):
the intimacy can grow and that's what you want, and
that's those healing conversations because in order to be authentic
and be authentic in a relationship, you need to have
those hard conversations so that the relationship can become and
(28:35):
grow and be more authentic itself. You want authentic relationships
and if you cannot have authentic relationships with certain people
or a person, then then they may not be someone
that you are meant to stay connected with. So it's
it's really again going inward, looking at being triggered, looking
(29:01):
at your patterns, and also as you get to know
yourself better. Like, for example, I was talking about being
in a relationship where you didn't feel heard. That could
be one of your core patterns because when you were
growing up, you did not feel heard by your mother,
by your father, by both, or by a caretaker. And
(29:25):
if that's a pattern for you, you will probably unconsciously,
subconsciously draw to you people that have the same type
of energy. So that I believe that you can work
on it. On a soul level. You are destined to
(29:45):
heal that pattern so that you can feel heard, you
can feel seen, you can feel and become become more
of who you are and be who you are. So
that's the power of connecting with that with one person.
(30:09):
And so hopefully, Charles, that was helpful. And if you
have any other questions about that, let me know. And
I see we have something came in from Country Corners Gazette.
I will get to them in a moment before I
just want to share with you that I have something
called an intuitive decision making meditation. So maybe you're wondering, wondering,
(30:41):
what is a pattern that I need to learn about.
Maybe you're wondering how can I tune into this pattern?
I really want to recognize it, but I don't know how.
I don't know. So with the intuitive intuitive decision making meditations,
what you can do is you calm yourself down, you're
(31:05):
clearing your energy and you're connecting. Now, I didn't bring
in the super conscious mind. The super conscious mind is
that part of you that is your higher self, the wise,
unconditionally loving part, your soul and the universe. And so
you bring in your higher self and then you ask
(31:31):
and allow the answer to come. And it may come
in the moment or it may come later. But if
you get in touch, this could be a tool for
you to help you to grow to understand. And I
also have it in a PDF version just in case
(31:53):
you don't want to listen to it but you want
to read it. So go to Inspired and Empowered Living
dot com. The name of the show Inspired and Empowered
Living dot com forward slash meditation n ed it A
(32:17):
T I O N so Inspired and Empowered Living dot
com forward slash meditation. So and hopefully this will help
you get more clarity and understanding and guidance. So Inspired
(32:37):
and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash meditation. Okay, so
I know we have a question that came in from
country corners. Seems people carry a lot of baggage that
they didn't even pack. Why are we burdened with all
(32:59):
that past? So yes, there, it is true. It is
true that we are I don't even want to say burdens.
Even though sometimes it may feel like a burden. How
about we change it and look at it as an opportunity. So, yeah,
(33:23):
it can feel like a burden sometimes because it's why
do I have all my ancestral stuff? Why do I
have all my past life stuff? And know that if
your if your family, your ancestors could clear it, they
(33:50):
would clear it. But they didn't even know it existed.
And you have an opportunity think about this. Okay, for
whatever reason, let's just say on some level, not just
I know this is true. I believe this, so you
(34:12):
could take this or leave this. I believe that we
came to this planet, and before we came in, we
made soul contracts, and we made decisions to be born
into the family that we're in, to be born and
to the well we are the soul, and so we
(34:32):
made decisions to become more awake and aware and alert
in our life. And I really want to acknowledge all
of you that are here now because you are saying
yes to you, and you are saying yes to being
more aware, more in alignment with who you really are.
(34:55):
So congratulations. I really want to let you all know that.
And so sometimes it feels like this burden of we
have all this stuff to let go of for our
soul and with past lives or our ancestors. But on
(35:16):
some level we did choose it before we came in. Now,
yes it may seem like a lot, but it also
is this opportunity to open to a whole new level
of awareness and discovery self discovery. So there, so you
(35:44):
are a choice how you choose to look at it.
So you can choose to can you continue to look
at it as a burden or you can start reframing
it and saying okay, and I'm not saying it doesn't
sometimes feel heavy, because I really want to validate your feelings, okay,
(36:07):
And that sometimes it can feel really heavy and overwhelming
because it brings up all the other feelings because they're
all connected. But it's an opportunity to free yourself on
whole new levels, whole new levels. And so I'm going
(36:33):
to give you an example, so I have I have
health challenges and some of the and some of those
health challenges are from trauma from okay, all right, good,
And some of those health challenges are coming from this lifetime,
some are coming from my soul, and some are coming
(36:55):
from my ancestors. And so I keep working on on
the health challenges, every level of it. And what's happened is, Okay,
what's happened is is I can feel the gratitude of
(37:18):
my soul and my ancestors for being the one two
because I have the privilege or the opportunity to do that,
because I'm aware of it, I'm able to do it.
And I and my soul and my past lives and
(37:43):
my answers are really grateful. And that's what I choose
to remember. And so it's a decision. It's a decision
on how you choose to look at and Charles says,
(38:05):
I see, So I'm glad that was helpful for you
to that answer, and Country Corners Gauzette says, new way
of looking at things. Excellent. Glad that I could support
you in looking at things in this new way and
know that as you look in the things in the
(38:27):
new way. So how do you know okay? How do
you know when you are connecting more to your authentic self? Okay?
And you know that you're connecting more to your authentic
self when you start feeling more peaceful and you start okay,
(38:52):
even even like having a realization like asking the question
for any of you who are asking the questionquestions and
then I and you have you get an answer from
me and then you're like, oh, okay, and having a
realization or an insight that you didn't have before, is
(39:12):
actually you opening up two more of your authentic self
when you're like, oh wow, you have the insight, you
have the intuition, you have the realization. All of those
are ways that you're opening to your authentic self. And
(39:34):
you can feel more love when you get in touch
with something that has triggered you from the past and
you are able to heal it and work through it
within yourself. And then and then to top that because
sometimes you can work it out with another person and
(39:54):
sometimes you need Now I'm going to make this distinction,
there are top times where you don't need to talk
to the other person. When you need to talk to
the other person, if it's about deepening intimacy. If it's
about being able to set limits or boundaries, that's an
(40:21):
important thing. If any of those things are happened, or
the energy and the relationship is blocked, you may need
to talk to you probably and you want the energy
to shift to a higher level, then you're going to
need to talk to the other person. However, if it
(40:45):
could be that maybe you just or not just but
that you needed to get in touch with the issue
so that you can heal it within yourself. And when
you heal it within yourself, you actually open up to
(41:10):
more of your authentic self. And that's the power of
relationships and opportunity of relationships to show you where you
need healing and what needs to be healed and then
to be able to take it to another level. So
(41:39):
we will continue because there's even more that I want
to share with you about becoming your authentic self. And
what I'd love is all of you to think about
all the stuff that we talked about today and see
if there's any other questions or as you go through
(42:00):
your week, anything that comes up that's like, oh, I
would like to find out more about that. And so
we'll continue to talk more about steps to the Authentic You,
Part three next week, So join me for more inspired
and Empowered living on W four WN dot com, talkfortv
(42:24):
dot com, my YouTube channel, and though you can find
the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon and many more.
And so join me next Tuesday at eleven am Eastern
(42:50):
and I am wishing you all and inspired and empowered
day and inspired and empowered we have a great one.
Everybody by for now,
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast. We are live Tuesday mornings at
eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:16):
will be continuing to talk about the Steps to your
The Steps to an Authentic You Part two I'm your
host and and Part two So learn how to discover
(01:37):
who you really are, what you feel, what you need,
and what you want and then be able to express
them to others in healthy, appropriate ways. When you are
living authentically, you can have healthier and joyful, loving relationships
(02:02):
with others and create and inspired and empowered life together.
Let's create a life you love. I'm your host Nancy Deutsch,
licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and Intuitive breakthrough Expert,
and I comby my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to
(02:27):
inspire and transform you to create an inspired and empowered life.
This show is not a replacement for therapy or counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. So the first thing,
(02:48):
as I talked about, let's talk about the being authentic
what and being real? So what does that really mean?
And what it really means means is being true and
authentic to you. It's really following the guidance of the
deeper part of you, that part of you that knows
(03:13):
who you really are at the deepest level of your being.
And I see that we have Ali in the house,
Good morning Ali. And it's really being true to yourself,
being true to what your feelings, what your thoughts, what
(03:34):
is true for you, and not letting anyone prevent you
or interfear with what you know is true for you.
And it's learning to have the courage, the courage to
be you no matter what. And most of us grew
(04:00):
up thinking and feeling it wasn't okay to be ourselves.
And so now this is about you breaking free and
breaking out, and that's what we're talking about. I did
a rhyme and I didn't even need it anyway. I
(04:20):
also want to get to questions and comments from last
week's show, So I am hoping that we have. We
have Misty and Anesthesia in the house. Noistagia. Okay, So,
first of all, last week we were talking about conversations
(04:46):
and we were talking about different kinds of conversations to have. Now,
a lot of people like to have conversations while they're
in the car. As long as you have hands free,
you're okay. And that's fine to have a conversation in
the car. And I know what it's like if you're
(05:08):
driving a long distance sometimes it just really helps to
pass away the time time. And then I talked, so
Misty said, we have some of the best conversations in
the car while driving long distances with others in the car. Okay,
(05:31):
so she's driving long distances with others in the car
and she's having great conversations, which I whether you're on
the phone and you're doing hands praying or you're with
other people and you have amazing conversations, totally want to
(05:51):
support that. This is about finding the best ways to connect.
And then I was taught and we were talking about
multitasking versus not multitasking, and I was talking about having
conversations where you are not multitasking and you're really very
(06:14):
present and grounded and in the moment, and Anastasia asked,
can you tell us more about those conversations and those conversations,
Missy before I get into those conversations. Misty says, fun
(06:35):
times most of the time. Thank you, Missy, And that's good.
It's like, this is what it's about. It's about connecting
with others and having fun times. The conversations that I
was talking about, I called them healing conversations. So Missy's
talking about fun conversations, okay, And fun conversations are really cool.
(06:58):
And it doesn't mean healing conversations don't have to be fun,
but there's a little different energy. And what I mean
by that is a healing conversation is very often when
you are needing to confront somebody or talk to somebody
(07:19):
about something that's happening for you, feelings that are coming up,
or something that you noticed, or they need to talk
to you. And now I've talked about scheduling time where
it's convenient for both of you so that you can
both be present. If somebody is watching TV and they're
(07:40):
really not present with you, then that is not a
good time to start those healing conversations. So the Healing
conversations are when you can both be fully present and
you look into each other's eyes, yes, and start off
(08:03):
with what is it that you acknowledge about each other?
What is it that you care about or that you
love about each other? And you may be able to
do that or you may not. But the most important
thing in with a healing conversation is you're bringing up
(08:27):
You want to bring up the truth and if you
can bring up a positive and then go into what
is occurring for you when and remember you want to
focus on their behavior, not who they are. You never
want to attack somebody. It's about focusing on the behavior
(08:52):
and not who they are. And so when you did
this behavior, I felt or I felt such and such
when you did when this behavior happened, or when you
did this. So, for example, a very common one is
(09:14):
you text someone and you're waiting, and you're waiting, and
you're waiting for the answer, and they don't answer you,
and and so then what happens for you and you're
let's say it's you're waiting for an answer because you
need to make plans, make plans with them or make
(09:36):
plans with someone else, but you need an answer upon
this person and they don't answer you, and so what
happens is you get triggered or activated, and then you
start thinking, why are they not doing that? What's happening?
I can't believe that, And all these things are running
in your head and you really don't know the truth
(09:58):
of what happened. So you decide, you say, and then
there's actually the pattern that's happening in the relationship. Let's
say you are trying to talk to them and they
are and you're on the phone, and they're distracted, and
(10:23):
there you can hear all these noises in the background,
and you want to have a conversation, but you can
feel that they're not really present. And then maybe even
when you're together, when you're together in person, maybe they're
watching TV or they're on their phone looking at their
(10:47):
phone instead of looking at you. So there is a
pattern in the relationship where you're you're you're feeling something.
So let's say and you've on your work before the conversation. Okay,
so you've tapped into what's coming up for you, all right,
(11:09):
and what you realize is it feels like you The
bottom line is you feel like you're not being heard
or validated or respected, and it's really hurting. And so
what happens in a healing conversation is I feel and
(11:34):
I remember, this is a conversation with someone who you
want to be more connected with, who that you want
their intimacy and the connection to grow. If it's a
close friend or or someone that you want to get
to know better, but this you've been noticing this pattern.
(11:57):
If it's someone who is a cold or something like that,
you're not going to want to share your deeper feelings.
Or if it's someone that you're not particularly feeling safe
with at the time, then you may not want to
share deeper feelings about what's coming up for you. So
(12:18):
what happens is you share I feel really hurt unheard.
I don't feel heard, and I feel even at times
disrespected when we are connecting because I feel like I
(12:38):
watch and be specific with the behaviors I watch, I
can on the phone. When we're on the phone, I
hear all these noises in the background, and then I
get distracted and it's hard for me to be present.
So I have a sense that and you don't want
to put anything in their mouth, so just stick with you.
(13:00):
And I also I also when I'm texting you and
then I don't get a response back, especially when I
need to know plans. And then when we're with each other,
I notice that you're busy on the phone and you're
not really present with me, or you're not connecting with me,
(13:25):
and I feel really hurt or I feel and it's
just I really and what I really want is is
I really want to feel more connected with you. I
really want us to grow together and be more connected.
And so and I see the question come in thank anesthasia,
(13:50):
and so that is the kind of what like that
is what you want to become aware of. And then
and hopefully the other person can hear you and you
can have a healthy conversation where both of you are expressing. Now, ideally,
(14:17):
let's say the person says, okay, I hear that you
really are not feeling heard and that at times you
feel really disrespected when I'm not answering you or when
I'm busy doing something on the phone, and I am
going to work on being more present in our relationship.
(14:38):
That would be a healthy outcome to the conversation, to
the healing conversation. And that's what you're going for that's
what you want and hopefully the other person can go
there with you. Now, Anasasia says, what is the best
way to RECOGNI the pattern? Recognize these patterns. So the
(15:06):
best way to recognize these patterns is to start noticing
in your relationships if there's someone where you're feeling angry
at often, or if there is like really starting to
(15:29):
look at now, this is where being your authentic self
comes in. When you're connecting with who you really are
and you're starting to go deeper into understanding what your
needs are, what your feelings are, and realizing that another person. Now,
(15:59):
and I really want to make this clear, there is
no one person who can ever satisfy all your needs.
It's not possible. And if you are looking to one
person to satisfy all your needs, that you setting yourself
(16:20):
up for disappointment and expectations. Now, however, in a relationship,
there's always give and take, and you want a balanced relationship.
So if you're if you find that you're constantly giving
and perhaps you're feeling like you're giving more than you're receiving,
(16:44):
then you need to look at that imbalance. Or if
you find that you're feeling angry and you feel angry
at the person a lot of the time or a
good amount of the time, it's starting to look at
what is creating this anger, what am I angry at,
(17:09):
and starting to figure out for you. Now, this has
nothing to do with the other person right now, it's
about you discovering what's going on for you, because the
first piece of a healthy conversation is uncovering what is
(17:31):
going on for you, what is being triggered, and then
you can bring the conversation to the other person once
you've kind of unraveled it and processed it. So the
best way to recognize the patterns is if you notice
that someone on a regular basis is let's say, not
(17:54):
paying attention to you, or not really being present with you,
or is very distracted a lot of the time when
you're connecting, and it feels really, it feels really uncomfortable
with you. Now, that's one thing. There may be other
patterns that are going on in the relationship. Now. Also,
(18:17):
I also want to remind you the present person is
not only themselves, but when you get triggered, they are
triggering someone from your past when you were growing up,
more likely as a child and more likely as a parent.
(18:41):
A mother or a father or a caretaker. They could
be triggering the same pattern now, and if you really
want to heal a relationship, even though they may be
triggering the same pattern, it's still means that you want
to bring it up to them because to me, healthy
(19:04):
relationships are two individuals that are willing to hear each
other and willing to grow together and willing to admit
mistakes or where or their vulnerabilities so that the relationship
can continue on in healthy ways. And so it's starting
(19:29):
so to recognize the patterns. If you see behaviors that
keep happening again and again where they're definitely triggering you,
that there's two pieces there. There's one piece that they're
(19:49):
triggering something old and this is an opportunity for you
to heal so that you can connect more deeply with
your authentic self. And two about working on healing the
relationship in prison time, because you want healthier relationships. When
you're in relationships with people, more likely than not you
(20:14):
have been drawn together so that they are satisfying or
you want them to satisfy some type of unconscious, subconscious need. Okay,
So and I see Charles has a question, I will
be answering that very shortly, Charles, and so hopefully Anastasia
(20:37):
tell me if there's any other questions and if that
was helpful, and I want to go into so people
are satisfying that unconscious need. So you want to discover
what is being triggered by another person, and then the
next thing is to work on healing the relationship and
moving it to another level so that both both of
(21:00):
you are feeling more loving and the relationship is getting
healthier and better. Thank you, honest, Asia'm glad she said
it was helpful. Thank you all right. So I wanted
just define because I used a few terms, and if
you're listening for the first time, I want to make
sure we're all on the same page. So the conscious mind,
(21:24):
your conscious mind is the part of you that tuned in,
whether you're tuning in live or you're tuning in at
another time. Thank you conscious mind of yours, okay, because
you made a decision to tune in now, and you
could have been drawn on a soul level to tune in.
(21:45):
That's your authentic part. You were guided intuitively, but and
you listened to your intuitive feeling, thinking, knowing, and that
was your conscious mind that made the decision. And when
you make an empowered decision, you can feel it. It
feels good, it feels inspiring, and it feels empowering. You
(22:09):
know you're on the right track. And that's your conscious
mind making very clear conscious decisions. Now, very often decisions
are ruled by the unconscious and subconscious mind. A lot
of times I talk subconscious, so I use them interchangeably.
Your subconscious unconscious mind is the part of you from
(22:33):
the moment you were conceived to present time has recorded
every moment, every breadth that you have been alive. And
that includes that includes not only this lifetime from when
you were younger, because a lot of our stuff happens
(22:56):
before we're even each all believe or not. And then
there's past life memories, and there's memories, or there's ancestral
memories and ancestral patterns that can still trigger you. And
(23:23):
usually what happens with an ancestral pattern is you notice
a pattern in your family with your mother or your father,
and then the next thing you know, oh my gosh,
you're repeating the pattern. And the most important thing that
you can do is having awareness wherever the pattern came from,
is having that awareness, starting to notice starting to become
(23:47):
even more conscious and aware of those patterns. And that's
also part of what Anatasia was asking about, how do
you recognize them? The more conscious and away you become,
the more connected with that authentic self, you start recognizing
patterns that you may not have been able to recognize before.
(24:13):
And so it's really an important piece for you to
recognize those patterns and know it's part of your journey.
And remember this is a journey. Okay, it's not an
ongoing destin. It's an ongoing destination, but it's not like, oh,
(24:34):
this is it, You've got it, you're done. We are
always growing, always changing, always moving, growing, expanding. So so
now I know we have a question from Charles. Let's
(24:55):
put the question up, why do you humans seek one
person if no one person can fill all their needs?
Do you see this as being a floor in the
thinking Charles? So, what I really feel is that it's
not really it's it's actually, I will tell you from
(25:18):
cave man days, it's actually a biological function. Okay, humans
came together, and here's the thing. There are societies and
cultures that have polyamory. And I'm not talking about that,
but I do think that when it comes to romantic
(25:39):
relationships from cave man days, it was part. It was
to promote and to keep the species going. Now and
here's the thing. In our culture, it's always all about love.
Romantic love. That's the thing. And listen, romantic law is amazing.
(26:01):
And I also want you to know having one person
in an intimate romantic relationship can actually be the key
to amazing and powerful healing, growth and change. And there's
a word. And you can have this with friends too,
(26:23):
close friends, close intimate friends, but there's something that takes
it to another level. In a close intimate relationship am
a person that perhaps you're living with or that there's
something And I love the saying I don't know where
exactly it came from into intimacy into me, I see.
(26:47):
And that's what happens when you have a close relationship
with a romantic partner or very close friends. Because I
also want you to know close friends and also be
part of that. It's having a very close connection with
another person where you learn about yourself and you learn
(27:09):
about them and together, like in a romantic relationship, you
grow together. That is ideally what you want. You want
a relationship that's going to help you to transform. And
if you notice the healthiest relationships all relationships, whether they
(27:31):
are romantic or friendships, is they bring out the best
in you. They bring out and it doesn't mean all
the time, okay, because we all are human, we all
make mistakes, but they bring out the best in you
most of the time. And that's what you want to
(27:52):
look at. That's what you really want to look at
when it comes to relationships. And so there isn't it's
not a flaw. I think that it's a possibility of
potential because when you have that special connection with one person,
(28:15):
the intimacy can grow and that's what you want, and
that's those healing conversations because in order to be authentic
and be authentic in a relationship, you need to have
those hard conversations so that the relationship can become and
(28:35):
grow and be more authentic itself. You want authentic relationships
and if you cannot have authentic relationships with certain people
or a person, then then they may not be someone
that you are meant to stay connected with. So it's
it's really again going inward, looking at being triggered, looking
(29:01):
at your patterns, and also as you get to know
yourself better. Like, for example, I was talking about being
in a relationship where you didn't feel heard. That could
be one of your core patterns because when you were
growing up, you did not feel heard by your mother,
by your father, by both, or by a caretaker. And
(29:25):
if that's a pattern for you, you will probably unconsciously,
subconsciously draw to you people that have the same type
of energy. So that I believe that you can work
on it. On a soul level. You are destined to
(29:45):
heal that pattern so that you can feel heard, you
can feel seen, you can feel and become become more
of who you are and be who you are. So
that's the power of connecting with that with one person.
(30:09):
And so hopefully, Charles, that was helpful. And if you
have any other questions about that, let me know. And
I see we have something came in from Country Corners Gazette.
I will get to them in a moment before I
just want to share with you that I have something
called an intuitive decision making meditation. So maybe you're wondering, wondering,
(30:41):
what is a pattern that I need to learn about.
Maybe you're wondering how can I tune into this pattern?
I really want to recognize it, but I don't know how.
I don't know. So with the intuitive intuitive decision making meditations,
what you can do is you calm yourself down, you're
(31:05):
clearing your energy and you're connecting. Now, I didn't bring
in the super conscious mind. The super conscious mind is
that part of you that is your higher self, the wise,
unconditionally loving part, your soul and the universe. And so
you bring in your higher self and then you ask
(31:31):
and allow the answer to come. And it may come
in the moment or it may come later. But if
you get in touch, this could be a tool for
you to help you to grow to understand. And I
also have it in a PDF version just in case
(31:53):
you don't want to listen to it but you want
to read it. So go to Inspired and Empowered Living
dot com. The name of the show Inspired and Empowered
Living dot com forward slash meditation n ed it A
(32:17):
T I O N so Inspired and Empowered Living dot
com forward slash meditation. So and hopefully this will help
you get more clarity and understanding and guidance. So Inspired
(32:37):
and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash meditation. Okay, so
I know we have a question that came in from
country corners. Seems people carry a lot of baggage that
they didn't even pack. Why are we burdened with all
(32:59):
that past? So yes, there, it is true. It is
true that we are I don't even want to say burdens.
Even though sometimes it may feel like a burden. How
about we change it and look at it as an opportunity. So, yeah,
(33:23):
it can feel like a burden sometimes because it's why
do I have all my ancestral stuff? Why do I
have all my past life stuff? And know that if
your if your family, your ancestors could clear it, they
(33:50):
would clear it. But they didn't even know it existed.
And you have an opportunity think about this. Okay, for
whatever reason, let's just say on some level, not just
I know this is true. I believe this, so you
(34:12):
could take this or leave this. I believe that we
came to this planet, and before we came in, we
made soul contracts, and we made decisions to be born
into the family that we're in, to be born and
to the well we are the soul, and so we
(34:32):
made decisions to become more awake and aware and alert
in our life. And I really want to acknowledge all
of you that are here now because you are saying
yes to you, and you are saying yes to being
more aware, more in alignment with who you really are.
(34:55):
So congratulations. I really want to let you all know that.
And so sometimes it feels like this burden of we
have all this stuff to let go of for our
soul and with past lives or our ancestors. But on
(35:16):
some level we did choose it before we came in. Now,
yes it may seem like a lot, but it also
is this opportunity to open to a whole new level
of awareness and discovery self discovery. So there, so you
(35:44):
are a choice how you choose to look at it.
So you can choose to can you continue to look
at it as a burden or you can start reframing
it and saying okay, and I'm not saying it doesn't
sometimes feel heavy, because I really want to validate your feelings, okay,
(36:07):
And that sometimes it can feel really heavy and overwhelming
because it brings up all the other feelings because they're
all connected. But it's an opportunity to free yourself on
whole new levels, whole new levels. And so I'm going
(36:33):
to give you an example, so I have I have
health challenges and some of the and some of those
health challenges are from trauma from okay, all right, good,
And some of those health challenges are coming from this lifetime,
some are coming from my soul, and some are coming
(36:55):
from my ancestors. And so I keep working on on
the health challenges, every level of it. And what's happened is, Okay,
what's happened is is I can feel the gratitude of
(37:18):
my soul and my ancestors for being the one two
because I have the privilege or the opportunity to do that,
because I'm aware of it, I'm able to do it.
And I and my soul and my past lives and
(37:43):
my answers are really grateful. And that's what I choose
to remember. And so it's a decision. It's a decision
on how you choose to look at and Charles says,
(38:05):
I see, So I'm glad that was helpful for you
to that answer, and Country Corners Gauzette says, new way
of looking at things. Excellent. Glad that I could support
you in looking at things in this new way and
know that as you look in the things in the
(38:27):
new way. So how do you know okay? How do
you know when you are connecting more to your authentic self? Okay?
And you know that you're connecting more to your authentic
self when you start feeling more peaceful and you start okay,
(38:52):
even even like having a realization like asking the question
for any of you who are asking the questionquestions and
then I and you have you get an answer from
me and then you're like, oh, okay, and having a
realization or an insight that you didn't have before, is
(39:12):
actually you opening up two more of your authentic self
when you're like, oh wow, you have the insight, you
have the intuition, you have the realization. All of those
are ways that you're opening to your authentic self. And
(39:34):
you can feel more love when you get in touch
with something that has triggered you from the past and
you are able to heal it and work through it
within yourself. And then and then to top that because
sometimes you can work it out with another person and
(39:54):
sometimes you need Now I'm going to make this distinction,
there are top times where you don't need to talk
to the other person. When you need to talk to
the other person, if it's about deepening intimacy. If it's
about being able to set limits or boundaries, that's an
(40:21):
important thing. If any of those things are happened, or
the energy and the relationship is blocked, you may need
to talk to you probably and you want the energy
to shift to a higher level, then you're going to
need to talk to the other person. However, if it
(40:45):
could be that maybe you just or not just but
that you needed to get in touch with the issue
so that you can heal it within yourself. And when
you heal it within yourself, you actually open up to
(41:10):
more of your authentic self. And that's the power of
relationships and opportunity of relationships to show you where you
need healing and what needs to be healed and then
to be able to take it to another level. So
(41:39):
we will continue because there's even more that I want
to share with you about becoming your authentic self. And
what I'd love is all of you to think about
all the stuff that we talked about today and see
if there's any other questions or as you go through
(42:00):
your week, anything that comes up that's like, oh, I
would like to find out more about that. And so
we'll continue to talk more about steps to the Authentic You,
Part three next week, So join me for more inspired
and Empowered living on W four WN dot com, talkfortv
(42:24):
dot com, my YouTube channel, and though you can find
the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon and many more.
And so join me next Tuesday at eleven am Eastern
(42:50):
and I am wishing you all and inspired and empowered
day and inspired and empowered we have a great one.
Everybody by for now,
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