May 8, 2025 • 45 mins
Replay from 9/17/24 Learn how to discover who you really are, what you feel, what you need,
what you want, and then be able to express that to others in healthy appropriate ways. When you are living authentically, you can have healthier
and joyful loving relationships with others and create an inspired and empowered life!
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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what you want, and then be able to express that to others in healthy appropriate ways. When you are living authentically, you can have healthier
and joyful loving relationships with others and create an inspired and empowered life!
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Thursdays at 5PM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show. And we are live Tuesday mornings at eleven
am Eastern on talk for TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:15):
will be talking about the steps to an authentic You
learn how to discover who you really are, what you feel,
what you want, what you need, and then be able
to express that to others in healthy, appropriate ways. When
(01:39):
you are living authentically, you can have healthier and joyful,
loving relationships with others and create an inspired and empowered
life together. Let's create a life you love. Your excuse me,
(02:02):
I'm your host, Nancy Deutch, licensed Clinical Social Workers, certified hypnotherapist,
and intuitive coach, and I combine my counseling, coaching and
intuitive abilities to transform your life. This show is not
(02:24):
a replacement for therapy or counseling. It is for educational
purposes only, and I want to start off this week
with last week's questions. So we were talking last week
about your thoughts and how you can have those thoughts
(02:47):
in your mind and you can have that mind chatter
and your your mind can be very busy, busy, busy, busy,
and you have that mind chatter and you're thinking, thinking, thinking,
I call it thinking mode, and you're so busy thinking
that you need what's really important is learning to be
(03:10):
able to quiet the mind. And that's also going to
be really important as we talk about the steps to
an authentic you. So we have we have Misty, who
she asked, what if we run with a thought that
was a chatter instead of an actual thought? Sometimes the
(03:35):
floaters can be sticky. So one of the things that
I was talking about last week is to imagine your
thoughts is like clouds passing by. And so what Misty's
asking is, what if you have those thoughts and the
(03:56):
chatter is instead of the thoughts, like, how do you
know the difference? And those floaters, if you're stuck on
a thought, they can be really sticky. Just as she said,
so what do you do? Well, what you do is
you take a deep breath and you work on focusing
(04:24):
your self and focusing on perhaps your body or your
breath coming back, because what happens when you're in the
mind chatter, you will find that that mind chatter is
(04:45):
either the past or the future. So learning to be
able to come back using your breath, using your feet,
working on grounding yourself self can help you get out
of that mind chatter. And if you find that there
(05:06):
is a thought that's sticky and you let's say it's
the same thought again and again, then that is a
signal to you. Oh, what I need to do is
to take a deep breath, focus on my breath, focus
on my feet, and be able to work on coming
(05:31):
back into the body and coming out of your head. So, Nisty,
I'm hoping you're here, and I'm hoping you heard that,
and if you have any other questions around that, or
(05:52):
you would like to let me know you're here and
that you if there's if I answered it, or if
you have any other question questions around it, love to
hear from you. And I see that we have Ali
in the house. Good morning, Ali, so welcome. And then
(06:13):
we had another question last week, and this question was
from Country Corners Gazette and they were talking about this,
that is something to think about. How do we determine
which are thoughts to think on? So again, we were
(06:37):
talking a lot about thoughts, So how do you know?
How do you know which are the ones that are sticky?
Which are the ones? If your thought and a good
way to If it's a positive thought or a healing
thought or a loving thought, you want to be thinking it.
(06:58):
But if it's a thought, a worry thought like oh
how am I gonna pay rent? Or what am I
going to do about this person or this job or
this situation, and you're obsessing about it, then the thought
(07:19):
is actually not helpful because what happens is when you're
obsessing or thinking about a person, a situation, an experience,
then what happens is you Hi, there, sorry about that? Everybody. Well,
(07:41):
basically this is about the thinking. And I remember where
I was. I was talking about the thinking mind and
how to get out of the thinking mind. So shoh,
getting out of that thinking mind and being in that
(08:06):
place of quietness, of groundedness, of being able to allow
yourself to connect more deeply with who you really are.
And when you're connecting with who you really are, and
that's what we're going to be talking about today, you'll
(08:28):
be able to quiet that mind more easily. And when
you notice that you're in thinking mind, then that's what
that's the signal. So you know that you're in thinking
mind if you're in the past, or you're worrying about
(08:50):
the future, or you're obsessing about something that's happening in
your life, and you want to stop that act. So
that's part of what you want to work on. So
now being able talking about the steps to an authentic you. Okay,
(09:20):
So the authentic you? What is the authentic you? And
how do you connect with the authentic you? And that's
what we're going to be talking about today. Okay, So
first of all, let me define what I mean by
(09:44):
the authentic you. And I see, Anastasia, you got a question. Okay,
So I'm going to define authentic you and then I'll
answer your question. So thank you for the question. Okay. So,
the authentic you is that part of you, the real
(10:08):
or genuine part of you. It's a core part of you,
that core energy of what I call light and love.
And when you're connected with that part of you, you
know you're connected with it because you feel peace or
love or joy or gratitude, the higher energy vibration feelings.
(10:35):
So that's how you know that you've connected with that
authentic you. And really, when you're connecting with the authentic you,
you are being true to yourself. You are being you
have the courage to be you no matter what anyone says,
(10:59):
and no matter what anybody says or does or thinks,
you're allowing yourself to be you. But most of us
grew up in families where it wasn't okay to be
who we really were. It wasn't okay to be authentically us,
(11:22):
and so we need to relearn and redo, regrow, and
heal so that we get to the deep levels of
who we really are. And that is our authentic being.
And I call that our higher self, the wise, unconditionally
(11:45):
loving part of you, your soul, the core energy of
who you are, that source of light and love and
your characteristics, and the higher by vibration energies. When you're
connecting with that, it's easier to be the authentic you.
(12:07):
So let me get back to Anastasia's question, and I
see some more questions coming in. Anastasia asked, when does
it cross over to being an obsession? So I guess.
The best way for you to look at if your
thoughts are becoming obsessive is if you can't stop thinking them.
(12:33):
So the way that I would describe obsession is like,
there's this it's like you can't stop. It's like it's compulsive,
it's overwhelming. Sometimes, like for example, I'll give you an example.
I think that that would be helpful. So let's say, ah,
(12:54):
I have an idea. Okay, So let's say you were
talking into a friend and you were really having a
good time and then they really they did something that
maybe made you angry, and then you said something. Now, again,
(13:17):
this is not authentically you. What happens is sometimes you
may act out a feeling like anger and then regret it. Okay,
So they may have pissed you off, and then you
said something like that was maybe hurtful, and you could
(13:43):
see how much they got hurt, and then you felt
really badly and you felt really sorry, and you couldn't
stop thinking about that mistake, and you were obsessing about it.
An obsessing because it was like you couldn't stop thinking
(14:05):
about it, and so that it would become an obsession.
Like a way that let's say, if the thought was oh,
I really believe that I hurt this person and I
feel really badly. And you may have said it in
the moment, or you may need to say it, and
(14:27):
you had the thought and you were able to move
on in your day and you realize that you want
to make amends or you want to apologize or do
something to help heal the relationship. Now, an obsessive thought
was I can't believe I did that. I'm so stupid.
(14:49):
I put my foot in my mouth. And then you
start beating yourself up for the mistake. Now you know
you made a mistake and you feel really badly, but
beating yourself up for that mistake is not going to
help you the most. And so if you keep thinking
about again and again and again that thought like I
(15:15):
can't believe I did that, what's wrong with me? Blah
blah blah, And you keep doing that that situation, and
you keep replaying it again and again, that becomes obsessive.
So that's an example of what happens. And hopefully that
(15:35):
was adding to the understanding of the obsessive thought. Now,
what do you do with that? Okay? So what I
would support you if you make a mistake when you're
in a relationship and you're connecting with somebody and maybe
you say or do something and you may say I'm
(15:59):
sorry in the moment, but then you may decide let's
have a conversation later. Now, first of all, you want
to make sure that you created your anger, because they
may have activated or triggered you and triggered your anger
because what they said or did something reminded you of
(16:23):
Let's say your mother, and your mother would do or
say things and you would easily get triggered, and so
this person easily triggers your mother. So then you need
to work on working through the trigger. And when you
(16:44):
feel calmer and able to talk to them, you can say, look,
I'm really sorry that I said da da dat da,
and I'm hoping that you can forgive me and is
and I really care about you, I love you, or
how whatever you need to say, make to apologize, and
(17:10):
I also realize that what I did was not good
or healthy. And then for your process, and you may
choose if they're a close friend or relative that you
choose that are supportive, you may choose what got triggered.
You can share if not, If it's somebody who's more
(17:34):
like an acquaintance or a coworker or something. Then just
keep it short and simple and that's it. But the
most important thing is is for you see, we're all
going to make mistakes. Every single one of us were
human beings. We're going to make mistakes. But the most
(17:57):
important thing is it is not that you you made
the mistake. It's what you do with it. It's not
about beating yourself up. It's about learning from the experience.
It's a learning opportunity to take what happened and ask yourself,
(18:19):
how can I learn from this experience. So if you reacted,
what you may want to think is okay, let me
breathe and work on not reacting, especially with anger. You
know how I always talk about those of you who
(18:39):
listen on a regular basis. You know, I talk about
taking a time out. If you're feeling angry, then you
want to take a time out and not react and
connect with them later when you've calmed down or you
processed through. So hopefully that answer your question. Okay, And
(19:04):
then we have a question from misty. Okay, I guess you.
I guess you heard my answer. When things get stuck
from sticky thoughts, what should we do to rid it
from our thoughts. So when the thing when you have
(19:26):
the sticky thoughts and you're wanting to let go of
those sticky thoughts, then we talked a little bit last
week about distractions and distracting yourself. If, like, for example,
if it's a thought that you need to process or
(19:48):
get clear on, then one of the things that I
do that I do more and more now is I
work on handing it over and handing it over to
God or higher power or the universe, whatever you choose
(20:08):
to call it, handing it over to the angels or
your guides. So if there's a situation that you're dealing
with and you're not really sure what to do or
how to deal with it'll imagine taking this situation and
just handing it, putting it in the God's hands or
the angel's hands or guide's hands, and just asking for
(20:33):
help and clarity and the higher answers on what would
be the highest good for me and this other person
if it's a person that you're dealing with, or what's
the highest good in this situation, and help me get
really clear answers so you can hand it over and
(20:57):
if you're still having the sticky thought. Then one of
the biggest things that you can do is because when
you're in that those sticky thoughts, you're in your mind
and you're in mind chatter or you're in your head.
And so one of the really important things would becoming
(21:18):
out of your head, out of your head and into
your body. So how do you know when you're in
your body. You know when you're in your body because
you can feel your body. Perhaps you feel your breath.
(21:41):
You know how I'm always talking about the breath and
whether you're using belly breath, the deeper breaths. You're noticing
your breath. You begin to really notice how you're breathing.
Are you breathing shallow or deeply. You begin to notice
(22:01):
where you're sitting or standing, are you inside or outside?
So it's like you really are noticing. And what happens
is when you become in that state of noticing and observation,
you actually become present and you come into present time.
(22:29):
And that is what you want. You're wanting to become
aware and present. So the best way to handle sticky
thoughts is to come out of your head and come
into your body doing something. And maybe it would be
moving maybe it's stretching, maybe it's yawning, maybe whatever it is, Okay,
(22:58):
it's doing something that you become aware of your body
or the environment that you're in. It's changing the awareness
from because when you're in those sticky thoughts, first of all,
I want to acknowledge you because the first thing is
(23:18):
you become aware that you're having the sticky thoughts or
the obsessive thoughts. And then once you do that, then
you can take an action to come out of your
head and into your body, into your breath and working
with that, or taking a walk outside and focusing on
(23:42):
your breath, focusing. See, if you go outside and you
continue to think the same thought, then it doesn't really
matter the location. What you want to do is become aware.
Let's say you go out and you go to the beach,
or you go to a late will you go to
a garden or a park? Really, you know that's saying
(24:05):
stop and smell the roses. That's what you want to
be doing. So Misty, hopefully I helped unravel some of
those sticky thoughts and let me know how that is
for you. And then we have country corners gazett So
country corner says, how would we reach the authentic and
(24:27):
how would we know we are there? So, first of all,
I want you all to know that being authentic is
a journey. It's a process. It's not like poof, I'm authentic,
I'm already there. Because here's the thing. If you grew
up and most of us, okay, I would say a
(24:51):
large percentage of us grew up in families where it
wasn't okay to be authentic, and so learning to become
your authentic self, that you who you really are, is
this journey of self discovery and self love and and
(25:17):
and it's it's an amazing and exciting journey of the self.
And when I say the self, it's the big self,
the self with the capitalists, and your authentic self. And
(25:39):
one of the ways you know that you've gotten to
more of that authentic self is you don't need the
approval of others. You don't you don't rely on others
to to satisfy all your needs. You don't look to
(26:04):
others to figure out what you're feeling. You are able
to connect to that place inside of you where you
know what you want, you feel what you're feeling, and
(26:31):
you learn to be more, you become the human being.
You know, it's so interesting because where human beings. But
what we've learned is to become human doings. We've learned
to do do this, do that, and go from one thing,
(26:51):
one activity, to the other. Some of you may be multitasking,
some of you don't. You know, it's hard to suit,
it's hard to be quiet, and so we've become human doings,
learning to be in that moment, like when I was
talking about being being with your body or the sensations,
(27:20):
or being with nature, being present in the now, with
self and the feelings. Okay, so when you have when
you're connecting with your authentic self, there's layers. So you
want to authentically feel what you're feeling in the moment,
(27:44):
and that could be sad or mad. It could be scared,
or it could be other feelings. And what happens is
is that as you allow yourself to feel and really
(28:05):
feel the sad or the mad, what happens is the layers,
the layers release, so that then you can go back
to feeling peace or stillness, a quietness, the quiet mind,
(28:31):
or you can feel the sense of love or joy
or gratitude. Those are feelings of that authentic you. And again,
this is a journey. This is a journey of unfolding.
(28:55):
And so even if you have moments and a few
shows back we talked about those moments of stillness, Even
if you had those moments of peace or love or
joy or gratitude, and you're like, most of the time
you're not feeling that, it's okay. No, as long as
(29:20):
you're in the journey and you're working on discovering more,
the fact that you're here, I really want to acknowledge
all of you for being here, live, for coming and
asking your questions. Thank you, because your soul is thanking
you for being here. And I'm thanking you for being
(29:42):
here and asking your questions and being curious on the
journey and allowing yourself to explore and open to new
possibilities and new ideas and new insights. So congratulations. And
those of you who may be listening to this or
viewing it in a later time, you too, congratulations from
(30:07):
being here, because that is you saying I want more,
I want and inspire an empowered life. So welcome, So
thank you, and so hopefully Country Corners that helped you
get clarity about what that authentic and we're going to
(30:32):
talk more about the authentic self so that you can
get more clarity and understanding about it. Will continue to
talk about it, and before we go, I go to
the next questions because I know that a few more
came in. But before we do, I want to support
all of you that I have a guided meditation and
(30:58):
a PDF so that you can read the meditation if
you don't want to do it, but it can help
you get back to that authentic self. So go to
Inspired and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash Meditation me
(31:23):
ed I A T I O N. So again Inspired
and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash Meditation, and it's
the name of the show dot com and then forward
slash Meditation. So and that can help you to calm
(31:48):
yourself down, clear your energies, and connect more deeply to
the authentic you and ask a question and perhaps get
your intuitive answer. So really powerful. I've heard some really
great stories about that meditation, so you definitely want to
(32:10):
download it. Okay, So let's get back to the questions.
Anastasia ask, can that obsessive thinking turn to a worse
thing if you don't get out of it? Out of
that stage, Yeah, I can, Because here's the thing. If
you if you are in the obsessive thinking, and let's
(32:34):
say you're beating yourself up, you're hurting yourself, you're hurting yourself,
you're really angry at yourself, and that actually hurts you.
And the obsessive thinking. Again, if you're in that obsessive thinking,
(32:56):
you may continue to do or say things that you
later regret. So so what can happen if you don't
get out of like That's why it's really important for
you to start becoming more aware. Conscious awareness is really
powerful because as you become more consciously aware of what
(33:22):
you're doing or what you're thinking, and if you're in
the obsessive thoughts, then you can say to yourself, what
can I do? What can I do right now to
come out of this obsessive thinking? Ask yourself the question.
(33:49):
And maybe it will be using your breath, maybe it
will be journaling, Maybe it will be doing some kind
of art. Maybe it will be going outside and taking
a walk or exercising or doing some yoga. Whatever it is,
(34:12):
it's finding a way to come out of the obsessive thoughts.
Because here's a thing you don't you don't want to
hurt yourself or anybody else, and obsessed in thinking very
often ends up hurting you. So I'm really going to
support you. This is remember this is a journey and
(34:36):
learning to become aware. And maybe I'm planting seeds for you,
seeds that all of a sudden you may never have
been aware that. Oh, oh my gosh, I'm an obsessive
thinking right now, what can I do for myself? Maybe
I can take a breath and listen. Take a breath
(34:59):
and even listen, listen like I was almost whistling again.
And what happens is you come out of the thought
and into the body and into the process that you're in.
(35:20):
That's what you want to do. And so this is
remember becoming aware and being in the journey is the
most important thing of all. Okay and okay, So Micky
(35:41):
asks and hopefully Anathasia that answered your question. If you
have any others about that, please let me know. Okay,
I want to make sure that I answer that. Micky asks,
why do multitask? Is multitask? So multitask is multi task
usually because they have a lot to do and they
(36:07):
feel there's not enough time to do it in or
that what happens with multitasking is usually usually, and I'm
not going to say all the time, but usually you
can't give yourself fully present to something when you're multitasking. Now,
(36:30):
there are times when we all need to multitask, and
there are times where we need to really focus. Now,
sometimes people can't multitask, and that's okay, all right, you know,
it's really okay if you can't multitask. So I'm not
making multitasker taskers wrong. It's being able to multitaskers. They
(37:02):
sometimes just have a lot that they're thinking or doing.
And I see Ali says, some multitaskers have ADHD and
ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and so what that
means is they have a hard time staying present to
(37:24):
the task. But I will also tell you, okay, when
I've done training on ADHD or other things, one of
the most important things that all of us, including those
with ADHD, can do is learning to become mindful. Now,
(37:48):
I again, I'm not making multitasking wrong, because I believe
we all do it sometimes on most of us, many
of us. And to become aware when you're multitasking, okay,
and to become aware when you're multitasking and then to
(38:12):
make a choice. Is this something where I can pay
full attention to or is this something where I need
to multitask. So you ask yourself. It's wanting to have
conscious awareness and then making a conscious decision that empowers you.
And so it's really asking yourself, is this a situation
(38:37):
where I can multitask or is this a situation where
I need to be fully present. Now, an example where
I'm going to support all of you to be fully
present is if you've set up a conversation with somebody
and you have a conversation and you want to be
(39:03):
fully present with the person that you're having a conversation with,
That is not a time to multitask. In fact, when
you're having a healthier relationship, what you want to do
is you want to ask the person when would be
a good time to speak so that we can both
be fully present. That would be an important time not
(39:26):
to multitask. Obviously, driving is not a time to multitask. Okay,
you don't want to be doing your phone and looking
at the phone and driving not a time to multitask.
So again, this is about you asking yourself in the
(39:47):
situation what's going to work for me right now? And
how can I get this accomplished if I'm not multitasking
or when can I get this accomplished if not multitasking.
So hopefully, Micky, that helped you, and if not, you
can always ask more questions. Okay, So Anastasia asks. Okay,
(40:15):
Anastasia asked, we're doing the breathing help get into the present.
You bet. That's why breathing is so powerful, And in
all the spiritual teachings there is some breath work there
because breath is the breath of life and breathing. When
(40:40):
you focus on your breath, it's you becoming present and
you becoming aware so that you're fully present and centered
and connected. So keep work working on that breath. Keep
(41:05):
working on the breath, okay, because the breath will help
you become present. Well, that breath will help you become present. Okay.
So Misty says, we have some of the best conversations
(41:27):
in the car while driving long distance with others in
the car. So thank you, Missy for sharing that. Okay.
So I want you all to know that none of
this is all or nothing. Okay. When I say to
have a I have great conversations when I'm driving too,
(41:49):
as long as i'm doing hands free okay, so that
my hands are on the wheel and my eyes are
focused on the road, and you can have conversation. But
I'm talking about a conversation when let's say there's been
something that has been bothering one of both of you,
(42:11):
or you have a conversation where you need to really
work and hear each other and reflect back. So I'm
not talking about visiting conversations, all right, I'm talking about
healing conversations. I guess that would be thank you for
(42:33):
helping me define and make that distinction. So we have
visiting conversation conversations where we're chatting and having fun or
enjoying each other's company, and then there are healing conversations.
And healing conversations are really an important aspect of relationships.
(42:56):
So okay, we're going to talk more about that next week.
Next week when we talk more about the steps to
an Authentic You. And I see, Ali says, I agree
(43:18):
with Misty. The car is when I can actually talk
to my husband because he's listening. Lol. Okay, so I
hear you, all of you saying I get that, and
you know what Let's talk more about it next week,
all right. So I love this conversation that we're having. Say, look,
(43:41):
we're having a great conversation right now. So we will
continue this next week on Inspired and Empowered Living TV
show and podcast, and we'll be doing Steps to an
Authentic You, Part two and go going deeper into the
(44:01):
last few questions or comments I shall say, and we'll
talk more about it. And Anastasia has a question in Anasaysia,
I'm gonna get to your question next week because that's
going to be part of the next week's conversation. All right,
So join us next Tuesday at eleven am Eastern on
(44:25):
Talk for TV dot com, W four WN dot com,
my YouTube channel, and you can follow the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon,
and many more. And so I wish you all an inspired,
(44:48):
an empowered day, an inspired and empowered week. Heaven great
one everybody buy for now tact for the
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Stepsis Syposstrists
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show. And we are live Tuesday mornings at eleven
am Eastern on talk for TV dot com, W four
WN dot com and my YouTube channel, and today we
(01:15):
will be talking about the steps to an authentic You
learn how to discover who you really are, what you feel,
what you want, what you need, and then be able
to express that to others in healthy, appropriate ways. When
(01:39):
you are living authentically, you can have healthier and joyful,
loving relationships with others and create an inspired and empowered
life together. Let's create a life you love. Your excuse me,
(02:02):
I'm your host, Nancy Deutch, licensed Clinical Social Workers, certified hypnotherapist,
and intuitive coach, and I combine my counseling, coaching and
intuitive abilities to transform your life. This show is not
(02:24):
a replacement for therapy or counseling. It is for educational
purposes only, and I want to start off this week
with last week's questions. So we were talking last week
about your thoughts and how you can have those thoughts
(02:47):
in your mind and you can have that mind chatter
and your your mind can be very busy, busy, busy, busy,
and you have that mind chatter and you're thinking, thinking, thinking,
I call it thinking mode, and you're so busy thinking
that you need what's really important is learning to be
(03:10):
able to quiet the mind. And that's also going to
be really important as we talk about the steps to
an authentic you. So we have we have Misty, who
she asked, what if we run with a thought that
was a chatter instead of an actual thought? Sometimes the
(03:35):
floaters can be sticky. So one of the things that
I was talking about last week is to imagine your
thoughts is like clouds passing by. And so what Misty's
asking is, what if you have those thoughts and the
(03:56):
chatter is instead of the thoughts, like, how do you
know the difference? And those floaters, if you're stuck on
a thought, they can be really sticky. Just as she said,
so what do you do? Well, what you do is
you take a deep breath and you work on focusing
(04:24):
your self and focusing on perhaps your body or your
breath coming back, because what happens when you're in the
mind chatter, you will find that that mind chatter is
(04:45):
either the past or the future. So learning to be
able to come back using your breath, using your feet,
working on grounding yourself self can help you get out
of that mind chatter. And if you find that there
(05:06):
is a thought that's sticky and you let's say it's
the same thought again and again, then that is a
signal to you. Oh, what I need to do is
to take a deep breath, focus on my breath, focus
on my feet, and be able to work on coming
(05:31):
back into the body and coming out of your head. So, Nisty,
I'm hoping you're here, and I'm hoping you heard that,
and if you have any other questions around that, or
(05:52):
you would like to let me know you're here and
that you if there's if I answered it, or if
you have any other question questions around it, love to
hear from you. And I see that we have Ali
in the house. Good morning, Ali, so welcome. And then
(06:13):
we had another question last week, and this question was
from Country Corners Gazette and they were talking about this,
that is something to think about. How do we determine
which are thoughts to think on? So again, we were
(06:37):
talking a lot about thoughts, So how do you know?
How do you know which are the ones that are sticky?
Which are the ones? If your thought and a good
way to If it's a positive thought or a healing
thought or a loving thought, you want to be thinking it.
(06:58):
But if it's a thought, a worry thought like oh
how am I gonna pay rent? Or what am I
going to do about this person or this job or
this situation, and you're obsessing about it, then the thought
(07:19):
is actually not helpful because what happens is when you're
obsessing or thinking about a person, a situation, an experience,
then what happens is you Hi, there, sorry about that? Everybody. Well,
(07:41):
basically this is about the thinking. And I remember where
I was. I was talking about the thinking mind and
how to get out of the thinking mind. So shoh,
getting out of that thinking mind and being in that
(08:06):
place of quietness, of groundedness, of being able to allow
yourself to connect more deeply with who you really are.
And when you're connecting with who you really are, and
that's what we're going to be talking about today, you'll
(08:28):
be able to quiet that mind more easily. And when
you notice that you're in thinking mind, then that's what
that's the signal. So you know that you're in thinking
mind if you're in the past, or you're worrying about
(08:50):
the future, or you're obsessing about something that's happening in
your life, and you want to stop that act. So
that's part of what you want to work on. So
now being able talking about the steps to an authentic you. Okay,
(09:20):
So the authentic you? What is the authentic you? And
how do you connect with the authentic you? And that's
what we're going to be talking about today. Okay, So
first of all, let me define what I mean by
(09:44):
the authentic you. And I see, Anastasia, you got a question. Okay,
So I'm going to define authentic you and then I'll
answer your question. So thank you for the question. Okay. So,
the authentic you is that part of you, the real
(10:08):
or genuine part of you. It's a core part of you,
that core energy of what I call light and love.
And when you're connected with that part of you, you
know you're connected with it because you feel peace or
love or joy or gratitude, the higher energy vibration feelings.
(10:35):
So that's how you know that you've connected with that
authentic you. And really, when you're connecting with the authentic you,
you are being true to yourself. You are being you
have the courage to be you no matter what anyone says,
(10:59):
and no matter what anybody says or does or thinks,
you're allowing yourself to be you. But most of us
grew up in families where it wasn't okay to be
who we really were. It wasn't okay to be authentically us,
(11:22):
and so we need to relearn and redo, regrow, and
heal so that we get to the deep levels of
who we really are. And that is our authentic being.
And I call that our higher self, the wise, unconditionally
(11:45):
loving part of you, your soul, the core energy of
who you are, that source of light and love and
your characteristics, and the higher by vibration energies. When you're
connecting with that, it's easier to be the authentic you.
(12:07):
So let me get back to Anastasia's question, and I
see some more questions coming in. Anastasia asked, when does
it cross over to being an obsession? So I guess.
The best way for you to look at if your
thoughts are becoming obsessive is if you can't stop thinking them.
(12:33):
So the way that I would describe obsession is like,
there's this it's like you can't stop. It's like it's compulsive,
it's overwhelming. Sometimes, like for example, I'll give you an example.
I think that that would be helpful. So let's say, ah,
(12:54):
I have an idea. Okay, So let's say you were
talking into a friend and you were really having a
good time and then they really they did something that
maybe made you angry, and then you said something. Now, again,
(13:17):
this is not authentically you. What happens is sometimes you
may act out a feeling like anger and then regret it. Okay,
So they may have pissed you off, and then you
said something like that was maybe hurtful, and you could
(13:43):
see how much they got hurt, and then you felt
really badly and you felt really sorry, and you couldn't
stop thinking about that mistake, and you were obsessing about it.
An obsessing because it was like you couldn't stop thinking
(14:05):
about it, and so that it would become an obsession.
Like a way that let's say, if the thought was oh,
I really believe that I hurt this person and I
feel really badly. And you may have said it in
the moment, or you may need to say it, and
(14:27):
you had the thought and you were able to move
on in your day and you realize that you want
to make amends or you want to apologize or do
something to help heal the relationship. Now, an obsessive thought
was I can't believe I did that. I'm so stupid.
(14:49):
I put my foot in my mouth. And then you
start beating yourself up for the mistake. Now you know
you made a mistake and you feel really badly, but
beating yourself up for that mistake is not going to
help you the most. And so if you keep thinking
about again and again and again that thought like I
(15:15):
can't believe I did that, what's wrong with me? Blah
blah blah, And you keep doing that that situation, and
you keep replaying it again and again, that becomes obsessive.
So that's an example of what happens. And hopefully that
(15:35):
was adding to the understanding of the obsessive thought. Now,
what do you do with that? Okay? So what I
would support you if you make a mistake when you're
in a relationship and you're connecting with somebody and maybe
you say or do something and you may say I'm
(15:59):
sorry in the moment, but then you may decide let's
have a conversation later. Now, first of all, you want
to make sure that you created your anger, because they
may have activated or triggered you and triggered your anger
because what they said or did something reminded you of
(16:23):
Let's say your mother, and your mother would do or
say things and you would easily get triggered, and so
this person easily triggers your mother. So then you need
to work on working through the trigger. And when you
(16:44):
feel calmer and able to talk to them, you can say, look,
I'm really sorry that I said da da dat da,
and I'm hoping that you can forgive me and is
and I really care about you, I love you, or
how whatever you need to say, make to apologize, and
(17:10):
I also realize that what I did was not good
or healthy. And then for your process, and you may
choose if they're a close friend or relative that you
choose that are supportive, you may choose what got triggered.
You can share if not, If it's somebody who's more
(17:34):
like an acquaintance or a coworker or something. Then just
keep it short and simple and that's it. But the
most important thing is is for you see, we're all
going to make mistakes. Every single one of us were
human beings. We're going to make mistakes. But the most
(17:57):
important thing is it is not that you you made
the mistake. It's what you do with it. It's not
about beating yourself up. It's about learning from the experience.
It's a learning opportunity to take what happened and ask yourself,
(18:19):
how can I learn from this experience. So if you reacted,
what you may want to think is okay, let me
breathe and work on not reacting, especially with anger. You
know how I always talk about those of you who
(18:39):
listen on a regular basis. You know, I talk about
taking a time out. If you're feeling angry, then you
want to take a time out and not react and
connect with them later when you've calmed down or you
processed through. So hopefully that answer your question. Okay, And
(19:04):
then we have a question from misty. Okay, I guess you.
I guess you heard my answer. When things get stuck
from sticky thoughts, what should we do to rid it
from our thoughts. So when the thing when you have
(19:26):
the sticky thoughts and you're wanting to let go of
those sticky thoughts, then we talked a little bit last
week about distractions and distracting yourself. If, like, for example,
if it's a thought that you need to process or
(19:48):
get clear on, then one of the things that I
do that I do more and more now is I
work on handing it over and handing it over to
God or higher power or the universe, whatever you choose
(20:08):
to call it, handing it over to the angels or
your guides. So if there's a situation that you're dealing
with and you're not really sure what to do or
how to deal with it'll imagine taking this situation and
just handing it, putting it in the God's hands or
the angel's hands or guide's hands, and just asking for
(20:33):
help and clarity and the higher answers on what would
be the highest good for me and this other person
if it's a person that you're dealing with, or what's
the highest good in this situation, and help me get
really clear answers so you can hand it over and
(20:57):
if you're still having the sticky thought. Then one of
the biggest things that you can do is because when
you're in that those sticky thoughts, you're in your mind
and you're in mind chatter or you're in your head.
And so one of the really important things would becoming
(21:18):
out of your head, out of your head and into
your body. So how do you know when you're in
your body. You know when you're in your body because
you can feel your body. Perhaps you feel your breath.
(21:41):
You know how I'm always talking about the breath and
whether you're using belly breath, the deeper breaths. You're noticing
your breath. You begin to really notice how you're breathing.
Are you breathing shallow or deeply. You begin to notice
(22:01):
where you're sitting or standing, are you inside or outside?
So it's like you really are noticing. And what happens
is when you become in that state of noticing and observation,
you actually become present and you come into present time.
(22:29):
And that is what you want. You're wanting to become
aware and present. So the best way to handle sticky
thoughts is to come out of your head and come
into your body doing something. And maybe it would be
moving maybe it's stretching, maybe it's yawning, maybe whatever it is, Okay,
(22:58):
it's doing something that you become aware of your body
or the environment that you're in. It's changing the awareness
from because when you're in those sticky thoughts, first of all,
I want to acknowledge you because the first thing is
(23:18):
you become aware that you're having the sticky thoughts or
the obsessive thoughts. And then once you do that, then
you can take an action to come out of your
head and into your body, into your breath and working
with that, or taking a walk outside and focusing on
(23:42):
your breath, focusing. See, if you go outside and you
continue to think the same thought, then it doesn't really
matter the location. What you want to do is become aware.
Let's say you go out and you go to the beach,
or you go to a late will you go to
a garden or a park? Really, you know that's saying
(24:05):
stop and smell the roses. That's what you want to
be doing. So Misty, hopefully I helped unravel some of
those sticky thoughts and let me know how that is
for you. And then we have country corners gazett So
country corner says, how would we reach the authentic and
(24:27):
how would we know we are there? So, first of all,
I want you all to know that being authentic is
a journey. It's a process. It's not like poof, I'm authentic,
I'm already there. Because here's the thing. If you grew
up and most of us, okay, I would say a
(24:51):
large percentage of us grew up in families where it
wasn't okay to be authentic, and so learning to become
your authentic self, that you who you really are, is
this journey of self discovery and self love and and
(25:17):
and it's it's an amazing and exciting journey of the self.
And when I say the self, it's the big self,
the self with the capitalists, and your authentic self. And
(25:39):
one of the ways you know that you've gotten to
more of that authentic self is you don't need the
approval of others. You don't you don't rely on others
to to satisfy all your needs. You don't look to
(26:04):
others to figure out what you're feeling. You are able
to connect to that place inside of you where you
know what you want, you feel what you're feeling, and
(26:31):
you learn to be more, you become the human being.
You know, it's so interesting because where human beings. But
what we've learned is to become human doings. We've learned
to do do this, do that, and go from one thing,
(26:51):
one activity, to the other. Some of you may be multitasking,
some of you don't. You know, it's hard to suit,
it's hard to be quiet, and so we've become human doings,
learning to be in that moment, like when I was
talking about being being with your body or the sensations,
(27:20):
or being with nature, being present in the now, with
self and the feelings. Okay, so when you have when
you're connecting with your authentic self, there's layers. So you
want to authentically feel what you're feeling in the moment,
(27:44):
and that could be sad or mad. It could be scared,
or it could be other feelings. And what happens is
is that as you allow yourself to feel and really
(28:05):
feel the sad or the mad, what happens is the layers,
the layers release, so that then you can go back
to feeling peace or stillness, a quietness, the quiet mind,
(28:31):
or you can feel the sense of love or joy
or gratitude. Those are feelings of that authentic you. And again,
this is a journey. This is a journey of unfolding.
(28:55):
And so even if you have moments and a few
shows back we talked about those moments of stillness, Even
if you had those moments of peace or love or
joy or gratitude, and you're like, most of the time
you're not feeling that, it's okay. No, as long as
(29:20):
you're in the journey and you're working on discovering more,
the fact that you're here, I really want to acknowledge
all of you for being here, live, for coming and
asking your questions. Thank you, because your soul is thanking
you for being here. And I'm thanking you for being
(29:42):
here and asking your questions and being curious on the
journey and allowing yourself to explore and open to new
possibilities and new ideas and new insights. So congratulations. And
those of you who may be listening to this or
viewing it in a later time, you too, congratulations from
(30:07):
being here, because that is you saying I want more,
I want and inspire an empowered life. So welcome, So
thank you, and so hopefully Country Corners that helped you
get clarity about what that authentic and we're going to
(30:32):
talk more about the authentic self so that you can
get more clarity and understanding about it. Will continue to
talk about it, and before we go, I go to
the next questions because I know that a few more
came in. But before we do, I want to support
all of you that I have a guided meditation and
(30:58):
a PDF so that you can read the meditation if
you don't want to do it, but it can help
you get back to that authentic self. So go to
Inspired and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash Meditation me
(31:23):
ed I A T I O N. So again Inspired
and Empowered Living dot com Forward slash Meditation, and it's
the name of the show dot com and then forward
slash Meditation. So and that can help you to calm
(31:48):
yourself down, clear your energies, and connect more deeply to
the authentic you and ask a question and perhaps get
your intuitive answer. So really powerful. I've heard some really
great stories about that meditation, so you definitely want to
(32:10):
download it. Okay, So let's get back to the questions.
Anastasia ask, can that obsessive thinking turn to a worse
thing if you don't get out of it? Out of
that stage, Yeah, I can, Because here's the thing. If
you if you are in the obsessive thinking, and let's
(32:34):
say you're beating yourself up, you're hurting yourself, you're hurting yourself,
you're really angry at yourself, and that actually hurts you.
And the obsessive thinking. Again, if you're in that obsessive thinking,
(32:56):
you may continue to do or say things that you
later regret. So so what can happen if you don't
get out of like That's why it's really important for
you to start becoming more aware. Conscious awareness is really
powerful because as you become more consciously aware of what
(33:22):
you're doing or what you're thinking, and if you're in
the obsessive thoughts, then you can say to yourself, what
can I do? What can I do right now to
come out of this obsessive thinking? Ask yourself the question.
(33:49):
And maybe it will be using your breath, maybe it
will be journaling, Maybe it will be doing some kind
of art. Maybe it will be going outside and taking
a walk or exercising or doing some yoga. Whatever it is,
(34:12):
it's finding a way to come out of the obsessive thoughts.
Because here's a thing you don't you don't want to
hurt yourself or anybody else, and obsessed in thinking very
often ends up hurting you. So I'm really going to
support you. This is remember this is a journey and
(34:36):
learning to become aware. And maybe I'm planting seeds for you,
seeds that all of a sudden you may never have
been aware that. Oh, oh my gosh, I'm an obsessive
thinking right now, what can I do for myself? Maybe
I can take a breath and listen. Take a breath
(34:59):
and even listen, listen like I was almost whistling again.
And what happens is you come out of the thought
and into the body and into the process that you're in.
(35:20):
That's what you want to do. And so this is
remember becoming aware and being in the journey is the
most important thing of all. Okay and okay, So Micky
(35:41):
asks and hopefully Anathasia that answered your question. If you
have any others about that, please let me know. Okay,
I want to make sure that I answer that. Micky asks,
why do multitask? Is multitask? So multitask is multi task
usually because they have a lot to do and they
(36:07):
feel there's not enough time to do it in or
that what happens with multitasking is usually usually, and I'm
not going to say all the time, but usually you
can't give yourself fully present to something when you're multitasking. Now,
(36:30):
there are times when we all need to multitask, and
there are times where we need to really focus. Now,
sometimes people can't multitask, and that's okay, all right, you know,
it's really okay if you can't multitask. So I'm not
making multitasker taskers wrong. It's being able to multitaskers. They
(37:02):
sometimes just have a lot that they're thinking or doing.
And I see Ali says, some multitaskers have ADHD and
ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and so what that
means is they have a hard time staying present to
(37:24):
the task. But I will also tell you, okay, when
I've done training on ADHD or other things, one of
the most important things that all of us, including those
with ADHD, can do is learning to become mindful. Now,
(37:48):
I again, I'm not making multitasking wrong, because I believe
we all do it sometimes on most of us, many
of us. And to become aware when you're multitasking, okay,
and to become aware when you're multitasking and then to
(38:12):
make a choice. Is this something where I can pay
full attention to or is this something where I need
to multitask. So you ask yourself. It's wanting to have
conscious awareness and then making a conscious decision that empowers you.
And so it's really asking yourself, is this a situation
(38:37):
where I can multitask or is this a situation where
I need to be fully present. Now, an example where
I'm going to support all of you to be fully
present is if you've set up a conversation with somebody
and you have a conversation and you want to be
(39:03):
fully present with the person that you're having a conversation with,
That is not a time to multitask. In fact, when
you're having a healthier relationship, what you want to do
is you want to ask the person when would be
a good time to speak so that we can both
be fully present. That would be an important time not
(39:26):
to multitask. Obviously, driving is not a time to multitask. Okay,
you don't want to be doing your phone and looking
at the phone and driving not a time to multitask.
So again, this is about you asking yourself in the
(39:47):
situation what's going to work for me right now? And
how can I get this accomplished if I'm not multitasking
or when can I get this accomplished if not multitasking.
So hopefully, Micky, that helped you, and if not, you
can always ask more questions. Okay, So Anastasia asks. Okay,
(40:15):
Anastasia asked, we're doing the breathing help get into the present.
You bet. That's why breathing is so powerful, And in
all the spiritual teachings there is some breath work there
because breath is the breath of life and breathing. When
(40:40):
you focus on your breath, it's you becoming present and
you becoming aware so that you're fully present and centered
and connected. So keep work working on that breath. Keep
(41:05):
working on the breath, okay, because the breath will help
you become present. Well, that breath will help you become present. Okay.
So Misty says, we have some of the best conversations
(41:27):
in the car while driving long distance with others in
the car. So thank you, Missy for sharing that. Okay.
So I want you all to know that none of
this is all or nothing. Okay. When I say to
have a I have great conversations when I'm driving too,
(41:49):
as long as i'm doing hands free okay, so that
my hands are on the wheel and my eyes are
focused on the road, and you can have conversation. But
I'm talking about a conversation when let's say there's been
something that has been bothering one of both of you,
(42:11):
or you have a conversation where you need to really
work and hear each other and reflect back. So I'm
not talking about visiting conversations, all right, I'm talking about
healing conversations. I guess that would be thank you for
(42:33):
helping me define and make that distinction. So we have
visiting conversation conversations where we're chatting and having fun or
enjoying each other's company, and then there are healing conversations.
And healing conversations are really an important aspect of relationships.
(42:56):
So okay, we're going to talk more about that next week.
Next week when we talk more about the steps to
an Authentic You. And I see, Ali says, I agree
(43:18):
with Misty. The car is when I can actually talk
to my husband because he's listening. Lol. Okay, so I
hear you, all of you saying I get that, and
you know what Let's talk more about it next week,
all right. So I love this conversation that we're having. Say, look,
(43:41):
we're having a great conversation right now. So we will
continue this next week on Inspired and Empowered Living TV
show and podcast, and we'll be doing Steps to an
Authentic You, Part two and go going deeper into the
(44:01):
last few questions or comments I shall say, and we'll
talk more about it. And Anastasia has a question in Anasaysia,
I'm gonna get to your question next week because that's
going to be part of the next week's conversation. All right,
So join us next Tuesday at eleven am Eastern on
(44:25):
Talk for TV dot com, W four WN dot com,
my YouTube channel, and you can follow the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon,
and many more. And so I wish you all an inspired,
(44:48):
an empowered day, an inspired and empowered week. Heaven great
one everybody buy for now tact for the
Speaker 1 (45:13):
Stepsis Syposstrists
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com