November 19, 2024 • 43 mins
In this episode, we dive into powerful, practical coping skills to manage stress and anxiety in today’s fast-paced world.
Discover expert techniques to deal with daily stress or major life changes.
Calm your mind
Build resilience
Find inner balance
Boost your mental health
Empower yourself to face challenges with greater ease
Join us if you're ready to move from overwhelmed to grounded. This episode is your guide to a more peaceful, balanced, Inspired & Empowered life.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Discover expert techniques to deal with daily stress or major life changes.
Calm your mind
Build resilience
Find inner balance
Boost your mental health
Empower yourself to face challenges with greater ease
Join us if you're ready to move from overwhelmed to grounded. This episode is your guide to a more peaceful, balanced, Inspired & Empowered life.
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show is broadcast live Tuesdays at 11AM ET on W4WN Radio - Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
The Inspired and Empowered Living Radio Show Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to The Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast live Tuesday mornings at eleven am
Eastern on Talk for TV dot com, W FOURWN dot com,
and my YouTube channel. And today we will be talking
(01:14):
about your top skills coping skills for stress and anxiety.
Learn powerful techniques for peace and balance, and we're going
to dive into powerful practical coping skills to manage stress
(01:36):
and anxiety in today's fast paced world. Discover expert techniques
to deal with stress or major life changes. Learn how
to calm your mind, build resilience, bind inner balance, boost
your mental health, and empower yourself to face changes with
(02:02):
greater ease. So if you're ready to move from overwhelmed
to grounded, this episode is your guide to a more peaceful, balanced, inspired,
and empowered life. Together, Let's create a life you love
and I'm your host. Nancy Deutsch, a licensed Clinical Social
(02:25):
Workers certified hypnotherapist and into it a breakthrough expert. I
combine my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to transform your life.
And the show is not a replacement for therapy on counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. And I see that
(02:46):
we have Ali in the house. Good morning, Ali, And
I want to answer the questions from last week, and
I also want to jump into this week's show. So
I'm going to be in the questions as well as
the ones that come in today because I want to
make sure that you know I'm answering all the questions.
(03:09):
Love answering your questions. So tops coping skills. So why
do we need coping skills? What are coping skills? Well,
Coping skills are strategies and techniques to deal with stress, anxiety.
(03:29):
It's being able to deal with difficult emotions, challenging situations.
And what happens is when you have effective coping skills,
it helps you process through your whatever, the issues, whatever's
(03:50):
going on for you, and it helps you to move
through them in a more easier, perhaps gentler way. And
here's the thing, sometimes it may not always be so gentle,
but coping skills help you to be able to navigate
(04:11):
your transitions, the changes and transitions that every single one
of us faces in our lives, and when you have
effective coping skills healthy coping skills. So what do I
mean by effective and healthy coping skills. First of all,
we all learned, most of us learned unhealthy coping skills.
(04:37):
So unhealthy coping skills are addictive behaviors. Many of us
when we were growing up turned to food, and perhaps
as we got older, some of you may have turned
to alcohol or drugs or gambling or other types of
(04:58):
addictive behaviors. And the bottom line is those are the
behaviors that healthy coping skills will help you to deal
with so that you're not going down that road and
you can actually deal with difficult situations in healthier ways.
(05:21):
So the way that I define healthy coping skills is
basically that you are doing skills or strategies techniques that
are positive that perhaps maybe inspire you or empower you
(05:43):
or you help you to feel better. They help you
to feel more peaceful, help you to feel more balanced,
help you to calm your nervous system down and be
able to take deeper breaths. And of course one of
the biggest coping skills that I've always talked about, and
we talked about it was breathing. Is breathing it's not,
(06:06):
it was it is because breathing can help you all
the time. So and so it's really about learning all
different kinds of techniques, including breathing. And last week I
talked about muscle progressive muscle relaxation, and that's really what
(06:27):
it is, is you tense your muscles and then relax
them and you go through your body. And we were
also talking about sometimes you may not have time to
go through your bodies. So if there's certain places where
you're noticing that you're really stressed, those are the places
that I suggest that you start with relaxing those muscles
(06:50):
life very often jaw, jaw, and shoulders. How many of
you end up getting so much tension in your shoulders.
That happens to many of us, I know from example.
So and then we also talked about journaling. And so
(07:15):
those were a few of the skills that we talked
about last week, and I'm going to go deeper into
more this week. So before let's just get to some
of the questions from last week. Anastasia said, how many
should we try for each situation? And really the answer
(07:37):
is however many you need. Like I said I said
in the past, to write a list. To make a
list of all the different hoping skills that you can
think of, skills that I'll be talking about today, skills,
healthy helping skills that excuse me, healthy coping skills that
(08:03):
you've used in the past. So make a list. Make
a list, and if one doesn't work immediately, then do
the next one. What you're looking for is calmer, feeling calmer,
feeling perhaps more relaxed, feeling more peaceful, or feeling like
(08:28):
you've shifted the stress, energy or the anxiety so that
you can function more effectively. Because what happens when we
are stressed, When we are anxious, our nervous system shuts
down and we're not able to function effectively depending on
(08:52):
how stressed you are. So really learning learning to be
able to try new skills and do new skills. So
do as many as you need to to. When you
finally feel that you've conned yourself down or you're feeling
more peaceful, more relaxed, then you can either go to
(09:17):
the next one or you can continue on with your day.
It's whatever works for you. Okay. This is about what's
going to work for you, and that's the bottom line.
And what you're looking for is feeling more peaceful, feeling
(09:38):
calma bringing, allowing yourself to be able to continue your
day in a more effective way when you use coping
skills that help you destress and reduce anxiety. Okay, So
(10:02):
the Country Corners Gazette asked how long do you have
to try them before moving on to the next one
to see if it will work? So I leave that
up to you. So sometimes you will start to do
a technique and you're kind of you're liking it, and
(10:23):
if you're liking it, you continue on. But if it's
not feeling comfortable or just doesn't feel like it's the
right thing for you in that moment, stop it and
try the next one. So it really it depends on you,
and it depends on what you're feeling and what you're needing,
(10:43):
and so it's really about you learning to tune in,
does this feel good, Let me try this a few
more minutes, let me work on this, or oh I don't,
I'm not liking this, I need to move to the
next one. So really it's about you discover what's going
to work for you. Bottom line, does this and the
(11:07):
way that you can see if the health a coping
mechanism works or the skill excuse me getting over being sick.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Uh so anyway, so I'm sorry, coffin, maybe coughin whatever. Anyway,
So really turning into you and see what works for you,
Misty asks, do people develop other non conventional ways to
cope with things? Yes, people do, they're non conventional. So
(11:43):
I guess I'm curious what you mean by non conventional.
So anything that will work for you that's healthier. Look,
I don't know if this is non conventional, but I
love my my oracle cards and I tune into my intuition.
If I'm feeling stressed, tune in and I get a
(12:08):
message from my oracle cards. And so that may not
be a conventional way, but it works for me, and
it's always really helpful, really powerful for me to help
me discover more of what I need to know about.
(12:28):
Perhaps the day I had the situation that I'm feeling
stressed and anxious about and I'm not thinking of another
unconventional But if you have any other ideas, Misty, definitely
let us know, because I'd love to hear what you
were thinking. So if you find other non conventional coping skills,
(12:56):
by all means, go for it. As long as it's positive,
it's helping you, it's supporting you, moving you forward. Okay,
And Nisty also asked, how would you know you have
created one for yourself? And are you making your own healthy? Okay? So,
(13:20):
when you're in the process of doing a coping skill
and it's a healthy one, it's supporting you. It's supporting
you either body, mind, emotion, spirit, helping you to calm
down and feel more peaceful. And you how do you
(13:44):
know that you're that it's healthy. It's healthy when it's
supportive of your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. If it's not,
then then then it may not be a healthy coping skill.
And how do you know you've created one for yourself? Again,
(14:07):
it's about tuning into you and about seeing if this
is helping you to calm down and using non conventional ways,
we can definitely be helpful. Look when I do my
oracle cards, I it inspires me, it makes me feel better,
(14:34):
get I get really excited. Sometimes sometimes I may get
cards I don't particularly like, but I may need to hear.
So if you find something that you're doing that's helping
you in any way, shape or form to feel better,
to cope better, then go for it. Okay. And again
(14:59):
that doesn't mean taking substances that may be harmful, but
it may be taking vitamins or healthy, healthy things for
your body. So just want to clarify that. So let's
(15:19):
talk about coping skills. Now, what I feel what I'm
going to do is I'm going to talk about I'm
going to separate coping skills. We're going to name a
few coping skills physical coping skills, and then we'll do
emotional and mental and all of these can be used together.
(15:41):
Like I said, you could try one and see how
it works, and then you if it does. If it's
not working for you, you try the next one, and
the next one and the next one. So let's talk
physical coping skills because very often when you're stressed, you
may need to move your body. You probably do need
(16:03):
to move your body. Okay, And I see the question
king Ah, they say say stay saying healthy while coughing
is not easy. Hope you feel better. Thank you, Country Corners.
I appreciate you so so it's about being able to
(16:26):
move your body, and moving your body is a really healthy,
powerful coping skill and it may be one of the
first ones you try. So some of you may love
to exercise now, some of you may like to go
(16:46):
to the gym, some of you may like to take
a walk out in nature. That's two and one walking
and is physical and also being in nature because nature
can be a powerful coping skill getting you outside and
helping you to calm your energy. So definitely, and also
(17:12):
if you are you know how many of you like
to dance, dance it out, dance out your stress. And
you can dance where you can danceing at home, you
can take dancing classes. So dancing would definitely be a
positive coping skill that will help you move the energy
(17:34):
through your body and what you want that is moving
the energy. And Misty says, now that is a good one.
All right, thank you, Missy. I'm glad you liked that one.
And it's really about allowing Let's say you're feeling really
(17:55):
stressed or you're feeling really angry. One of the best
ways is to move the stress of the anger through
your body, like I said, doing exercise, dancing or walking
and allowing yourself to move the energy and feeling. What
(18:16):
I support clients to do is to intend. Let's say
you're walking and you're doing a power walk, and you intend,
you intend that you're releasing the anger. Remember to breathe,
breathe through it. Breathing always helps in every way, even
if you're doing other things. You can combine the breathing
(18:40):
to help you release the energy. And when you're doing
and when you're releasing the energy of anger. Because really feelings, emotions,
they are energy that actually wants to move e motion
wants to actually move through your body. So finding a
(19:04):
way to physically move your energy can really be helpful. Now,
some of you may like to do yoga. Maybe it's
stretching and stretching your body. So that's another possibility, is
being able to stretch and move and yoga and then
(19:28):
other physical coping skills. So and we talked about the
deep breathing, and I talked about I talked about moving
moving the energy. And then you want to make sure
that you're taking good physically care of your body so
(19:53):
that you're eating healthy and you're sleeping. Now, I will
tell you and I know from myself from my clients.
When we're stressed, one of the number one things that
many of us will turn to is sugar. Okay, Now,
(20:17):
sugar is not bad in and of itself, but sugar
what ends up happening with sugar is that you actually
have a high and then you crash. So it's actually
kind of like a drug. So I am going to
supporting you to perhaps lower the sugar intake, to find
(20:42):
and find other healthier coping skills, just saying and I
know the holidays are coming up, so so finding new
ways of coping. Look, and I'm not saying that you
can't have anything, never saying that, but I'm just saying moderation.
(21:04):
Everything in moderation. I was feeling that before, so it's
like I really wanted to say, it's being in moderation
around things. And another thing, like in the mornings, what
I find so helpful and so relaxing is I do
my morning routine where I have my green tea. It's
(21:28):
the first thing that I love to do to me.
Tea is so nurturing and there's something about tea that's
just so relaxing. Now I love my coffee, but there's
something very nurturing and relaxing about tea, and so I
support you having a cup of tea. Now if you
don't like, if you don't want caffeine, then there's all
(21:51):
different kinds of amazing delicious flavors. I like honey cannon
meal tea or apple spice. That was a great time
for apple spice, apple cinnamon spice. So having tea, a
cup of tea in the morning or in the evening
after a stressful day may actually help you to and
(22:13):
of course doing your breathing, you know, breathing. And then
and definitely you want to make sure that you're drinking
your water. Okay, need to drink water, all right, drink
in the water. And a lot of us need to
(22:34):
be drinking even more water than we have been. So
so drinking water, drinking tea. And then people like to Okay,
hot or cold? Which one do you like best? I
think you're talking water. I usually like room temperature or
(22:58):
not too cold, not too hot water, that's what I like.
But some people tea, Okay, that's what I thought you would,
oh tea like I like hot tea. But what I
do is I put an ice cube in so it
cools it off a little bit. To me, tea, there's
something so soothing about it. So whatever works for you.
(23:23):
I love my tea in the morning, and I support
you all in discovering if you you know, if you
like tea or what tea works, what feels good. And
then you want to take Some of you may be
shower people, some of you may be bath people. Now,
(23:46):
if you're a bath person, putting, putting like salt in
the water actually helps detoxify and cleanse and clear energy.
So taking a so what a bath can be very
healing and soothing and calming. So that's another possibility. Cool.
(24:13):
So that's about That's the physical okay, and then there's
the emotional coping skills. Now, I talked a little bit
about journaling, journaling your thoughts, journaling your feelings. So definitely
(24:37):
you want to be journaling, letting out remember the most
important thing that you could be doing. When you're feeling stressed,
or you're feeling anxious, so you're having an emotion and
or you're not sure how to deal with a situation,
journaling can be a powerful tool to help move the
(24:58):
energy and also help you get clarity. Like for example,
let's see you're going through a situation right now, and
you're not really sure what to do or how to
do it. So what if you put at the top
of your journal, how do I handle this situation with
(25:21):
such and such. Maybe it's a person in your life,
maybe person at work? Maybe, so how do I handle
the situation? And what am I feeling about it? So
you want to let out your feelings so that you
don't act out your feelings. And acting out your feelings
means dumping them or saying or doing things you may
(25:45):
later regret. You do not want to be doing that.
That's not healthy coping skills. But journaling, letting it out
and being able to write what's going on for you.
Or let's say there's a decision you need to be
what's the best decision for me in this situation? And
(26:06):
try journaling and seeing what flows. So try that and
see how that works for you. Now practicing gratitude. Practicing
gratitude is a powerful way of being able to help
(26:27):
you shift into a higher feeling state. So think of
three things that you are grateful for. And let's say
you're grateful for I'm grateful for being able to do
(26:50):
this show, and I'm grateful for Rebel my engineer, and
I'm grateful for Ali, my assistant.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
So I have a lot to be grateful for, and
I really want to support you in finding the people
and the situations in your life.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I'm grateful that I live in a beautiful place. I'm
grateful that my business is growing. I'm grateful for so
many things. And so I just really want to support
you in being able to find the things you're grateful for.
And Ali says, Oh, I'm grateful for you, Thank you, Ali,
(27:40):
thank you. So being grateful and having gratitude is a
really powerful way to help you shift your energy, to
help you shift your state, your emotional state. Now, sometimes
you may not feel grateful. You may not be like
(28:03):
are you wake up in a bad mood? Well, what
I suggest if you're feeling stressed and you can't find
anything to be grateful for, you may want to try
a few different things breathing, journaling, and then try gratitude.
Remember I said, using as many skills as you need
to in order for you to calm yourself down, to
(28:27):
help yourself get into a better state of mind, a
better frame of mind. Now, Okay, so crying, let's talk crying. Now.
For some people it's easy to cry, and for some
people it's not easy to cry. And I venture to
(28:52):
say it's probably and this can be stereotype, stereotype, but
it's probably harder for men to many men. I'm not
going to say, oh men, because it's becoming more and
more okay, so socially okay for men to cry. But
for many years boys were told, now you can't cry,
(29:17):
big boys, don't cry. And what I really want you
to know is that whether you're a man or a woman,
or whether if you can find a way to cry,
sometimes crying could be such a big release. After a
good cry, it's like you feel relief. And if you
(29:46):
don't know how to get yourself to cry, put on
something really sad. Try putting on a sad movie that
you know will get you to cry, and then you
can cry, and that could actually be a way to destress.
So go for the cry. And I want you all
to know crying is important. It's a way to destress,
(30:11):
a way to release energy. We all need to cry,
and we all need a good cry to help us
through challenging situations, stressful situations. And of course, if there's grief,
where there's laws and you feel sadness. It's really important
(30:33):
to cry. And I also want you to know that
as you go through change in transitions, there is probably
grief because when you may be letting go of a
situation that you really are so happy to be letting
go of, So there may be relief, but there also
(30:54):
may be sadness too. And it's also it's making the
space for all of that, for all of you to
be able to make this space for all your feelings,
and that is healthy. Coping skills is allowing. And also
(31:18):
the things is you don't need to act on a feeling.
Remember I was talking about acting out. You don't need
to act on a feeling. You need to feel the
feeling and move it through your body and breathe. And
these hoping skills can help you do that. Breathe, breathing,
(31:40):
that's right, breathing, and learning to do positive self talk.
So often we are not talking kind to ourselves. Some
(32:01):
of you may be beating yourselves up for things that
you should have done, you could have done, you wish
you'd done, and none of it, none of it is important.
It's learning to find the acknowledgements of yourself in present time.
(32:24):
For all that you are doing for all that you've done,
And if you've made a mistake to a person or
a situation, then it's what can I learn from this situation?
What can I learn from this experience? Instead of beating
(32:45):
yourself up, look at what you can learn from it.
And then and then you want to be able to
keep on going and using mistakes as learning opportunities. And
(33:07):
if you've made a mistake and said something or done
something that hurts another person, then apologize and we'll make
amends depending on what it is. So finding the ways
that you can find to calm yourself down, to be
(33:32):
genlo with yourself, to have the positive self talk. And
I want you to know I have something that will
be a really helpful coping skill and it's a meditation.
And you can go to Inspired and Empowered Living dot
(34:00):
forward slash meditation and so Inspired and Empowered Living dot
com forward slash Meditation. And when you download the meditation,
(34:21):
it will help you clear your energy. It will help
you connect with your higher self, that wise, unconditionally loving
part of you, and it will then help you know
or guide you. It can guide you towards the best
decision you need to make in a situation or have
(34:43):
a question answer and that's the power. So definitely download
the meditation. I also have a PDF, so if you
don't do a meditation, you can read the pdf and
try it out. Definitely to support you in doing that
and rebels putting the links in the chat. And now
(35:10):
let's talk social social coping skills. How many of you
love to spend time with your pets? Is the PDF
in the same place? Actually, yes. What happens is when
you when you download the meditation, it'll say there's a
(35:36):
link where you can you can press and you can
download the meditation of the pdf. So definitely go for
the PDF and you'll see it. And if you have
any questions, let me know. I'd be happy to answer
your questions. So definitely there there's a link where it
(35:59):
says download the pdf and you'll be able to access
that when you put in your information. So I'd love
to hear how it works for you. Very cool, Now,
coping skills. What else spending time with your pet? Spending
time and pets are really powerful tools. But they love
(36:24):
us unconditionally. They bring us. They can bring us joy,
or they can bring his peace, or they can comfort us.
How many times like if you're feeling sad or you're
going through something, you have your dog licking your face,
or your cat coming up to you and putting in
snows or snuggling up to you. And I've watched animals
(36:46):
are so intuitive and they know when you're going through something.
So spend time with your pets and when you're feeling stressed,
they may be the answer that you need. And definitely
you may want to think about an Atesia asks how
(37:07):
do we know if we are doing what is best
to make a difference. So anasthesia you're doing when you're
in coping, when you're working on the different coping skills,
you know that it's making a difference for you because
it's calming you down. When you notice that you're doing
(37:30):
a coping skill and you're feeling maybe happier or more comforted,
like let's and it takes your mind mind off of
like petting your pet and you pay attention to your
pet rather than what's going on, and allowing yourself to
(37:51):
be loved by your pet and loving your pet. It's
a powerful experience, and you know that it makes a
difference because you feel calmer, you feel more peaceful, and
perhaps you helps you get more in balance, you know
that you're doing what is best. And again that's why
(38:14):
I suggest that you go through a whole list of
different different coping skills so that you can then if
one doesn't happen, then you try the next one, and
then try the next one. Now, another coping skill is maybe,
depending on what it is, you may need to join
a support group or a peer group. So that might
(38:39):
be something. Now, now this is a really I talk
about essential self care. Now, essential self care is crucial
in helping you to feel better, okay, And essential self
(39:00):
care is really being able to perhaps set boundaries, say
no when you need to say no, and so learning
to have the coping skills to say no when you
(39:22):
need to say no. And sometimes it can be really
hard to say no, but you know that in the
end there's something that's saying no empowers you and it's
what you need to do and may not always feel
so comfortable in the moment, but you know it's something
(39:44):
that you've needed to do. And so no is a
powerful word, and no means taking care of yourself. And
so we're going to talk more about that. We're going
to talk more about what you need to do in
(40:05):
terms of setting boundaries of saying no and dealing with
holiday time. So next week we'll do a show on
preparing for the holidays and what you need to do
to prepare yourself for the holidays, and then and we
(40:29):
may continue Not easy, Anisasia says, not easy to say
no at times. I know, I know, Anisaysias, sometimes it
can be really really hard to say no. But the
thing is is that when you feel like you need
to say no, and even though it may feel hard
(40:52):
if you say yes when you know know that you
need to say no, and O what happen is sometimes
you can build resentment or anger at the person and
then you don't want to be doing that. It can
end up that firing on you when you don't say
no when you need to. And we'll be talking more
(41:15):
about that because during holiday times it's going to be
learning to say no. Okay. So so we went through
a huge list of coping skills, physical coping skills, really
doing what you need to do to take care of
your body, emotional coping skills, and really helping you to
(41:42):
keep ongoing during that stress, during stress and anxiety and
misty ass is it okay to know when to say no? Okay, missy,
I am going to get to that question week, all right,
because I think that that's I think I understand what
(42:05):
you mean by that. So when you know to how
do you know to say no? Okay? We'll talk more
about it next week. So join me next week for
more inspired and empowered living. And we are live Tuesday
(42:26):
mornings at eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com,
W FOURWN dot com, my YouTube channel, and you can
find the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon, and
many more. And we will continue to talk more about
(42:52):
dealing with the holidays, how to say no, when to
say no, and how do you know to say no?
More next week. And I wish you and inspired an
empowered day and an inspired and empowered week. Have a
great one, everybody, Bye for now,
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Hello everyone, and welcome to The Inspired and Empowered Living
TV show and podcast live Tuesday mornings at eleven am
Eastern on Talk for TV dot com, W FOURWN dot com,
and my YouTube channel. And today we will be talking
(01:14):
about your top skills coping skills for stress and anxiety.
Learn powerful techniques for peace and balance, and we're going
to dive into powerful practical coping skills to manage stress
(01:36):
and anxiety in today's fast paced world. Discover expert techniques
to deal with stress or major life changes. Learn how
to calm your mind, build resilience, bind inner balance, boost
your mental health, and empower yourself to face changes with
(02:02):
greater ease. So if you're ready to move from overwhelmed
to grounded, this episode is your guide to a more peaceful, balanced, inspired,
and empowered life. Together, Let's create a life you love
and I'm your host. Nancy Deutsch, a licensed Clinical Social
(02:25):
Workers certified hypnotherapist and into it a breakthrough expert. I
combine my counseling, coaching and intuitive abilities to transform your life.
And the show is not a replacement for therapy on counseling.
It is for educational purposes only. And I see that
(02:46):
we have Ali in the house. Good morning, Ali, And
I want to answer the questions from last week, and
I also want to jump into this week's show. So
I'm going to be in the questions as well as
the ones that come in today because I want to
make sure that you know I'm answering all the questions.
(03:09):
Love answering your questions. So tops coping skills. So why
do we need coping skills? What are coping skills? Well,
Coping skills are strategies and techniques to deal with stress, anxiety.
(03:29):
It's being able to deal with difficult emotions, challenging situations.
And what happens is when you have effective coping skills,
it helps you process through your whatever, the issues, whatever's
(03:50):
going on for you, and it helps you to move
through them in a more easier, perhaps gentler way. And
here's the thing, sometimes it may not always be so gentle,
but coping skills help you to be able to navigate
(04:11):
your transitions, the changes and transitions that every single one
of us faces in our lives, and when you have
effective coping skills healthy coping skills. So what do I
mean by effective and healthy coping skills. First of all,
we all learned, most of us learned unhealthy coping skills.
(04:37):
So unhealthy coping skills are addictive behaviors. Many of us
when we were growing up turned to food, and perhaps
as we got older, some of you may have turned
to alcohol or drugs or gambling or other types of
(04:58):
addictive behaviors. And the bottom line is those are the
behaviors that healthy coping skills will help you to deal
with so that you're not going down that road and
you can actually deal with difficult situations in healthier ways.
(05:21):
So the way that I define healthy coping skills is
basically that you are doing skills or strategies techniques that
are positive that perhaps maybe inspire you or empower you
(05:43):
or you help you to feel better. They help you
to feel more peaceful, help you to feel more balanced,
help you to calm your nervous system down and be
able to take deeper breaths. And of course one of
the biggest coping skills that I've always talked about, and
we talked about it was breathing. Is breathing it's not,
(06:06):
it was it is because breathing can help you all
the time. So and so it's really about learning all
different kinds of techniques, including breathing. And last week I
talked about muscle progressive muscle relaxation, and that's really what
(06:27):
it is, is you tense your muscles and then relax
them and you go through your body. And we were
also talking about sometimes you may not have time to
go through your bodies. So if there's certain places where
you're noticing that you're really stressed, those are the places
that I suggest that you start with relaxing those muscles
(06:50):
life very often jaw, jaw, and shoulders. How many of
you end up getting so much tension in your shoulders.
That happens to many of us, I know from example.
So and then we also talked about journaling. And so
(07:15):
those were a few of the skills that we talked
about last week, and I'm going to go deeper into
more this week. So before let's just get to some
of the questions from last week. Anastasia said, how many
should we try for each situation? And really the answer
(07:37):
is however many you need. Like I said I said
in the past, to write a list. To make a
list of all the different hoping skills that you can
think of, skills that I'll be talking about today, skills,
healthy helping skills that excuse me, healthy coping skills that
(08:03):
you've used in the past. So make a list. Make
a list, and if one doesn't work immediately, then do
the next one. What you're looking for is calmer, feeling calmer,
feeling perhaps more relaxed, feeling more peaceful, or feeling like
(08:28):
you've shifted the stress, energy or the anxiety so that
you can function more effectively. Because what happens when we
are stressed, When we are anxious, our nervous system shuts
down and we're not able to function effectively depending on
(08:52):
how stressed you are. So really learning learning to be
able to try new skills and do new skills. So
do as many as you need to to. When you
finally feel that you've conned yourself down or you're feeling
more peaceful, more relaxed, then you can either go to
(09:17):
the next one or you can continue on with your day.
It's whatever works for you. Okay. This is about what's
going to work for you, and that's the bottom line.
And what you're looking for is feeling more peaceful, feeling
(09:38):
calma bringing, allowing yourself to be able to continue your
day in a more effective way when you use coping
skills that help you destress and reduce anxiety. Okay, So
(10:02):
the Country Corners Gazette asked how long do you have
to try them before moving on to the next one
to see if it will work? So I leave that
up to you. So sometimes you will start to do
a technique and you're kind of you're liking it, and
(10:23):
if you're liking it, you continue on. But if it's
not feeling comfortable or just doesn't feel like it's the
right thing for you in that moment, stop it and
try the next one. So it really it depends on you,
and it depends on what you're feeling and what you're needing,
(10:43):
and so it's really about you learning to tune in,
does this feel good, Let me try this a few
more minutes, let me work on this, or oh I don't,
I'm not liking this, I need to move to the
next one. So really it's about you discover what's going
to work for you. Bottom line, does this and the
(11:07):
way that you can see if the health a coping
mechanism works or the skill excuse me getting over being sick.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Uh so anyway, so I'm sorry, coffin, maybe coughin whatever. Anyway,
So really turning into you and see what works for you,
Misty asks, do people develop other non conventional ways to
cope with things? Yes, people do, they're non conventional. So
(11:43):
I guess I'm curious what you mean by non conventional.
So anything that will work for you that's healthier. Look,
I don't know if this is non conventional, but I
love my my oracle cards and I tune into my intuition.
If I'm feeling stressed, tune in and I get a
(12:08):
message from my oracle cards. And so that may not
be a conventional way, but it works for me, and
it's always really helpful, really powerful for me to help
me discover more of what I need to know about.
(12:28):
Perhaps the day I had the situation that I'm feeling
stressed and anxious about and I'm not thinking of another
unconventional But if you have any other ideas, Misty, definitely
let us know, because I'd love to hear what you
were thinking. So if you find other non conventional coping skills,
(12:56):
by all means, go for it. As long as it's positive,
it's helping you, it's supporting you, moving you forward. Okay,
And Nisty also asked, how would you know you have
created one for yourself? And are you making your own healthy? Okay? So,
(13:20):
when you're in the process of doing a coping skill
and it's a healthy one, it's supporting you. It's supporting
you either body, mind, emotion, spirit, helping you to calm
down and feel more peaceful. And you how do you
(13:44):
know that you're that it's healthy. It's healthy when it's
supportive of your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. If it's not,
then then then it may not be a healthy coping skill.
And how do you know you've created one for yourself? Again,
(14:07):
it's about tuning into you and about seeing if this
is helping you to calm down and using non conventional ways,
we can definitely be helpful. Look when I do my
oracle cards, I it inspires me, it makes me feel better,
(14:34):
get I get really excited. Sometimes sometimes I may get
cards I don't particularly like, but I may need to hear.
So if you find something that you're doing that's helping
you in any way, shape or form to feel better,
to cope better, then go for it. Okay. And again
(14:59):
that doesn't mean taking substances that may be harmful, but
it may be taking vitamins or healthy, healthy things for
your body. So just want to clarify that. So let's
(15:19):
talk about coping skills. Now, what I feel what I'm
going to do is I'm going to talk about I'm
going to separate coping skills. We're going to name a
few coping skills physical coping skills, and then we'll do
emotional and mental and all of these can be used together.
(15:41):
Like I said, you could try one and see how
it works, and then you if it does. If it's
not working for you, you try the next one, and
the next one and the next one. So let's talk
physical coping skills because very often when you're stressed, you
may need to move your body. You probably do need
(16:03):
to move your body. Okay, And I see the question
king Ah, they say say stay saying healthy while coughing
is not easy. Hope you feel better. Thank you, Country Corners.
I appreciate you so so it's about being able to
(16:26):
move your body, and moving your body is a really healthy,
powerful coping skill and it may be one of the
first ones you try. So some of you may love
to exercise now, some of you may like to go
(16:46):
to the gym, some of you may like to take
a walk out in nature. That's two and one walking
and is physical and also being in nature because nature
can be a powerful coping skill getting you outside and
helping you to calm your energy. So definitely, and also
(17:12):
if you are you know how many of you like
to dance, dance it out, dance out your stress. And
you can dance where you can danceing at home, you
can take dancing classes. So dancing would definitely be a
positive coping skill that will help you move the energy
(17:34):
through your body and what you want that is moving
the energy. And Misty says, now that is a good one.
All right, thank you, Missy. I'm glad you liked that one.
And it's really about allowing Let's say you're feeling really
(17:55):
stressed or you're feeling really angry. One of the best
ways is to move the stress of the anger through
your body, like I said, doing exercise, dancing or walking
and allowing yourself to move the energy and feeling. What
(18:16):
I support clients to do is to intend. Let's say
you're walking and you're doing a power walk, and you intend,
you intend that you're releasing the anger. Remember to breathe,
breathe through it. Breathing always helps in every way, even
if you're doing other things. You can combine the breathing
(18:40):
to help you release the energy. And when you're doing
and when you're releasing the energy of anger. Because really feelings, emotions,
they are energy that actually wants to move e motion
wants to actually move through your body. So finding a
(19:04):
way to physically move your energy can really be helpful. Now,
some of you may like to do yoga. Maybe it's
stretching and stretching your body. So that's another possibility, is
being able to stretch and move and yoga and then
(19:28):
other physical coping skills. So and we talked about the
deep breathing, and I talked about I talked about moving
moving the energy. And then you want to make sure
that you're taking good physically care of your body so
(19:53):
that you're eating healthy and you're sleeping. Now, I will
tell you and I know from myself from my clients.
When we're stressed, one of the number one things that
many of us will turn to is sugar. Okay, Now,
(20:17):
sugar is not bad in and of itself, but sugar
what ends up happening with sugar is that you actually
have a high and then you crash. So it's actually
kind of like a drug. So I am going to
supporting you to perhaps lower the sugar intake, to find
(20:42):
and find other healthier coping skills, just saying and I
know the holidays are coming up, so so finding new
ways of coping. Look, and I'm not saying that you
can't have anything, never saying that, but I'm just saying moderation.
(21:04):
Everything in moderation. I was feeling that before, so it's
like I really wanted to say, it's being in moderation
around things. And another thing, like in the mornings, what
I find so helpful and so relaxing is I do
my morning routine where I have my green tea. It's
(21:28):
the first thing that I love to do to me.
Tea is so nurturing and there's something about tea that's
just so relaxing. Now I love my coffee, but there's
something very nurturing and relaxing about tea, and so I
support you having a cup of tea. Now if you
don't like, if you don't want caffeine, then there's all
(21:51):
different kinds of amazing delicious flavors. I like honey cannon
meal tea or apple spice. That was a great time
for apple spice, apple cinnamon spice. So having tea, a
cup of tea in the morning or in the evening
after a stressful day may actually help you to and
(22:13):
of course doing your breathing, you know, breathing. And then
and definitely you want to make sure that you're drinking
your water. Okay, need to drink water, all right, drink
in the water. And a lot of us need to
(22:34):
be drinking even more water than we have been. So
so drinking water, drinking tea. And then people like to Okay,
hot or cold? Which one do you like best? I
think you're talking water. I usually like room temperature or
(22:58):
not too cold, not too hot water, that's what I like.
But some people tea, Okay, that's what I thought you would,
oh tea like I like hot tea. But what I
do is I put an ice cube in so it
cools it off a little bit. To me, tea, there's
something so soothing about it. So whatever works for you.
(23:23):
I love my tea in the morning, and I support
you all in discovering if you you know, if you
like tea or what tea works, what feels good. And
then you want to take Some of you may be
shower people, some of you may be bath people. Now,
(23:46):
if you're a bath person, putting, putting like salt in
the water actually helps detoxify and cleanse and clear energy.
So taking a so what a bath can be very
healing and soothing and calming. So that's another possibility. Cool.
(24:13):
So that's about That's the physical okay, and then there's
the emotional coping skills. Now, I talked a little bit
about journaling, journaling your thoughts, journaling your feelings. So definitely
(24:37):
you want to be journaling, letting out remember the most
important thing that you could be doing. When you're feeling stressed,
or you're feeling anxious, so you're having an emotion and
or you're not sure how to deal with a situation,
journaling can be a powerful tool to help move the
(24:58):
energy and also help you get clarity. Like for example,
let's see you're going through a situation right now, and
you're not really sure what to do or how to
do it. So what if you put at the top
of your journal, how do I handle this situation with
(25:21):
such and such. Maybe it's a person in your life,
maybe person at work? Maybe, so how do I handle
the situation? And what am I feeling about it? So
you want to let out your feelings so that you
don't act out your feelings. And acting out your feelings
means dumping them or saying or doing things you may
(25:45):
later regret. You do not want to be doing that.
That's not healthy coping skills. But journaling, letting it out
and being able to write what's going on for you.
Or let's say there's a decision you need to be
what's the best decision for me in this situation? And
(26:06):
try journaling and seeing what flows. So try that and
see how that works for you. Now practicing gratitude. Practicing
gratitude is a powerful way of being able to help
(26:27):
you shift into a higher feeling state. So think of
three things that you are grateful for. And let's say
you're grateful for I'm grateful for being able to do
(26:50):
this show, and I'm grateful for Rebel my engineer, and
I'm grateful for Ali, my assistant.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
So I have a lot to be grateful for, and
I really want to support you in finding the people
and the situations in your life.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I'm grateful that I live in a beautiful place. I'm
grateful that my business is growing. I'm grateful for so
many things. And so I just really want to support
you in being able to find the things you're grateful for.
And Ali says, Oh, I'm grateful for you, Thank you, Ali,
(27:40):
thank you. So being grateful and having gratitude is a
really powerful way to help you shift your energy, to
help you shift your state, your emotional state. Now, sometimes
you may not feel grateful. You may not be like
(28:03):
are you wake up in a bad mood? Well, what
I suggest if you're feeling stressed and you can't find
anything to be grateful for, you may want to try
a few different things breathing, journaling, and then try gratitude.
Remember I said, using as many skills as you need
to in order for you to calm yourself down, to
(28:27):
help yourself get into a better state of mind, a
better frame of mind. Now, Okay, so crying, let's talk crying. Now.
For some people it's easy to cry, and for some
people it's not easy to cry. And I venture to
(28:52):
say it's probably and this can be stereotype, stereotype, but
it's probably harder for men to many men. I'm not
going to say, oh men, because it's becoming more and
more okay, so socially okay for men to cry. But
for many years boys were told, now you can't cry,
(29:17):
big boys, don't cry. And what I really want you
to know is that whether you're a man or a woman,
or whether if you can find a way to cry,
sometimes crying could be such a big release. After a
good cry, it's like you feel relief. And if you
(29:46):
don't know how to get yourself to cry, put on
something really sad. Try putting on a sad movie that
you know will get you to cry, and then you
can cry, and that could actually be a way to destress.
So go for the cry. And I want you all
to know crying is important. It's a way to destress,
(30:11):
a way to release energy. We all need to cry,
and we all need a good cry to help us
through challenging situations, stressful situations. And of course, if there's grief,
where there's laws and you feel sadness. It's really important
(30:33):
to cry. And I also want you to know that
as you go through change in transitions, there is probably
grief because when you may be letting go of a
situation that you really are so happy to be letting
go of, So there may be relief, but there also
(30:54):
may be sadness too. And it's also it's making the
space for all of that, for all of you to
be able to make this space for all your feelings,
and that is healthy. Coping skills is allowing. And also
(31:18):
the things is you don't need to act on a feeling.
Remember I was talking about acting out. You don't need
to act on a feeling. You need to feel the
feeling and move it through your body and breathe. And
these hoping skills can help you do that. Breathe, breathing,
(31:40):
that's right, breathing, and learning to do positive self talk.
So often we are not talking kind to ourselves. Some
(32:01):
of you may be beating yourselves up for things that
you should have done, you could have done, you wish
you'd done, and none of it, none of it is important.
It's learning to find the acknowledgements of yourself in present time.
(32:24):
For all that you are doing for all that you've done,
And if you've made a mistake to a person or
a situation, then it's what can I learn from this situation?
What can I learn from this experience? Instead of beating
(32:45):
yourself up, look at what you can learn from it.
And then and then you want to be able to
keep on going and using mistakes as learning opportunities. And
(33:07):
if you've made a mistake and said something or done
something that hurts another person, then apologize and we'll make
amends depending on what it is. So finding the ways
that you can find to calm yourself down, to be
(33:32):
genlo with yourself, to have the positive self talk. And
I want you to know I have something that will
be a really helpful coping skill and it's a meditation.
And you can go to Inspired and Empowered Living dot
(34:00):
forward slash meditation and so Inspired and Empowered Living dot
com forward slash Meditation. And when you download the meditation,
(34:21):
it will help you clear your energy. It will help
you connect with your higher self, that wise, unconditionally loving
part of you, and it will then help you know
or guide you. It can guide you towards the best
decision you need to make in a situation or have
(34:43):
a question answer and that's the power. So definitely download
the meditation. I also have a PDF, so if you
don't do a meditation, you can read the pdf and
try it out. Definitely to support you in doing that
and rebels putting the links in the chat. And now
(35:10):
let's talk social social coping skills. How many of you
love to spend time with your pets? Is the PDF
in the same place? Actually, yes. What happens is when
you when you download the meditation, it'll say there's a
(35:36):
link where you can you can press and you can
download the meditation of the pdf. So definitely go for
the PDF and you'll see it. And if you have
any questions, let me know. I'd be happy to answer
your questions. So definitely there there's a link where it
(35:59):
says download the pdf and you'll be able to access
that when you put in your information. So I'd love
to hear how it works for you. Very cool, Now,
coping skills. What else spending time with your pet? Spending
time and pets are really powerful tools. But they love
(36:24):
us unconditionally. They bring us. They can bring us joy,
or they can bring his peace, or they can comfort us.
How many times like if you're feeling sad or you're
going through something, you have your dog licking your face,
or your cat coming up to you and putting in
snows or snuggling up to you. And I've watched animals
(36:46):
are so intuitive and they know when you're going through something.
So spend time with your pets and when you're feeling stressed,
they may be the answer that you need. And definitely
you may want to think about an Atesia asks how
(37:07):
do we know if we are doing what is best
to make a difference. So anasthesia you're doing when you're
in coping, when you're working on the different coping skills,
you know that it's making a difference for you because
it's calming you down. When you notice that you're doing
(37:30):
a coping skill and you're feeling maybe happier or more comforted,
like let's and it takes your mind mind off of
like petting your pet and you pay attention to your
pet rather than what's going on, and allowing yourself to
(37:51):
be loved by your pet and loving your pet. It's
a powerful experience, and you know that it makes a
difference because you feel calmer, you feel more peaceful, and
perhaps you helps you get more in balance, you know
that you're doing what is best. And again that's why
(38:14):
I suggest that you go through a whole list of
different different coping skills so that you can then if
one doesn't happen, then you try the next one, and
then try the next one. Now, another coping skill is maybe,
depending on what it is, you may need to join
a support group or a peer group. So that might
(38:39):
be something. Now, now this is a really I talk
about essential self care. Now, essential self care is crucial
in helping you to feel better, okay, And essential self
(39:00):
care is really being able to perhaps set boundaries, say
no when you need to say no, and so learning
to have the coping skills to say no when you
(39:22):
need to say no. And sometimes it can be really
hard to say no, but you know that in the
end there's something that's saying no empowers you and it's
what you need to do and may not always feel
so comfortable in the moment, but you know it's something
(39:44):
that you've needed to do. And so no is a
powerful word, and no means taking care of yourself. And
so we're going to talk more about that. We're going
to talk more about what you need to do in
(40:05):
terms of setting boundaries of saying no and dealing with
holiday time. So next week we'll do a show on
preparing for the holidays and what you need to do
to prepare yourself for the holidays, and then and we
(40:29):
may continue Not easy, Anisasia says, not easy to say
no at times. I know, I know, Anisaysias, sometimes it
can be really really hard to say no. But the
thing is is that when you feel like you need
to say no, and even though it may feel hard
(40:52):
if you say yes when you know know that you
need to say no, and O what happen is sometimes
you can build resentment or anger at the person and
then you don't want to be doing that. It can
end up that firing on you when you don't say
no when you need to. And we'll be talking more
(41:15):
about that because during holiday times it's going to be
learning to say no. Okay. So so we went through
a huge list of coping skills, physical coping skills, really
doing what you need to do to take care of
your body, emotional coping skills, and really helping you to
(41:42):
keep ongoing during that stress, during stress and anxiety and
misty ass is it okay to know when to say no? Okay, missy,
I am going to get to that question week, all right,
because I think that that's I think I understand what
(42:05):
you mean by that. So when you know to how
do you know to say no? Okay? We'll talk more
about it next week. So join me next week for
more inspired and empowered living. And we are live Tuesday
(42:26):
mornings at eleven am Eastern on talkfor TV dot com,
W FOURWN dot com, my YouTube channel, and you can
find the podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Apple, Amazon, and
many more. And we will continue to talk more about
(42:52):
dealing with the holidays, how to say no, when to
say no, and how do you know to say no?
More next week. And I wish you and inspired an
empowered day and an inspired and empowered week. Have a
great one, everybody, Bye for now,
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.