The Coffin Club

"Sticking with Taylor. Okay. I get it. It's a good name. We got it on the first try, right?

Hey. You did a big thing, telling all of us at once like that. Takes a lot of guts. I'm proud of you, Taylor.

I'm not making excuses for your father. I'm happy he got up and didn't say anything. He's getting smarter in his old age and learning to keep his mouth shut. I am going to remind you that ...

What are they dressed as? I mean it's. Obvious, isn't it? Y'know, he's the leader, she's the lieutenant, there's the big strong one...

Look, ma'am, my kids worked hard on these costumes, and for you to start throwing words like those around-

I do, yes, we're in district, they go to the school at Twelfth, those two are in sixth grade-

Oh I'm sorry I thought we lived in America? Since when...

Take another tissue. Take as many as you need. Misa's going to be okay. Shit like this happens all the time, Nancy, it's part of field hockey.

It was an accident. Everyone saw what happened. They're going to reset her nose, run some tests, she'll be fine. I promise it'll be fine.

Because it happened in such a safe place, is why. I mean. Yeah. You all tend to get the blood up on the field...

Jesus Becky, I dunno why I gotta be the one doing this. I told your mother and she wanted to give you a high five. I think that'd undermine the point of this talk we're having.

God how the hell do I even approach this. Fuck. Don't. Don't tell your mother I said that. Ha. Sorry. Look. I understand, Dennis Hanson's a little shit. Don't tell your mother I said that. And I understand he was ...

You two are old enough for this talk. I love your father but he's not qualified to give it.

Things aren't fair. It's not that we're lucky; we are. God, are we lucky. I've got four kids I wouldn't trade for the world. I've got a husband I love, a house I call my own, a job that doesn't break my back, some savings. We're trying to play our cards right to ensure the two of you get to go som...

First of all there's a reason I'm the one giving this talk and not your mother. We're not mad at you, we're not even disappointed. It's. It's unfortunate this is how it all is, y'know?

Shit I kinda figured one of you might be a chip off my block. Didn't expect *you*, heh. Anyway, uh, here goes.

It's okay to steal stuff, Taylor.

Yeah you didn't really see that coming, huh? There's a part ...

Hi again from the monkey house. I hope the POLICE don't redact this one this time.

The kids are doing okay. Rebecca's big now, she's started walking around. Almost ready to start talking. The twins...well the twins are testing my patience, honey. They keep getting in fights with the other kids. It's always some stupid thing, and they don't cause it, but it doesn't help because they're ch...

We got lucky getting this house. First thing your big brother ever helped us with. I used to think I was slick but Morgan's got my charms and your mother's sense even before he was born. Got your mother's temper too but y'know don't tell him I said that, Becks.

Your mother and I were, to be blunt, using contraception. We wanted kids, but we wanted them on our own timetable. I was working...

He told you about Mike and Elsie, huh? I love your father but he can be a little judgmental sometimes. You think he wouldn't be considering his family.

Well no honey they're. Mmm. I'm sorry. I get a little heated sometimes, thinking about my siblings. Imagine how you'd feel if someone started saying stuff about Becky or how the twins would feel if someone started picking on you. They're ...

Well we don't really talk to your mom's side of the family because we don't particularly. Like them, y'know?

Yeah, okay, Grandma Nina and Grandma Tess are the exception, we make time for them. It's your aunt and uncle who are the problem. Your mom's still got some positive feelings but I'm the outsider so I can bring a balance to that sort of thing.

So your Uncle Mike, he joined the mili...

When did I first meet your father? Ah Jesus, great question. Let's see.

Johnny Banks wasn't really a fixture of the scene as much as he was a nuisance. I used to play in a band back in the day. I even dropped out of school to pursue it, had to get my GED later. Don't drop out to join a band, by the way. Odds are rigged against you. Anyway you've seen those pictures of me in those jeans. ...

I met Louise Wallace when fucking Richard Lincoln tried to kick my teeth in.

It was a hot summer, and they'd cancelled public summer camp again for the third year in a row. I was thirteen years old. Not old enough to get a job yet, too old to hang around home and not get told off for it. Richard and Toby and Donny and me stole some shit from the Bullseye and ran off to a nearby park to s...

Deep within the Sunny Suplex Mall lies the realm of the Tiny Mall Wizards, a forgotten corner of history long since gone by. Originally the world's masters of magic and mayhem, they are relegated to obscurity and their own petty squabbles.

That is not to say that the time of their stories is over. Far from it. Crack'o, Hat and Celene, three chosen Tiny Mall Wizards, embark on a grand q...

We poisoned ourselves. I was complicit in it but we all had our part to play. Grief, anger, ego, curiosity, four ingredients we all brought into our group. Useful in small amounts. Dangerous when concentrated. Lethal when there's enough for you all to drown in it. I'm sorry for what I've done. Helping you doesn't make up for any of it, my death doesn't roll back the clock. It was never a...

Janice and Lillian are done talking with you, and Lavinia, she's dead, and they don't tend to tell tales. That just leaves me. To be honest I don't have much more to say. I think I've made it all fairly clear.
We cannot abide the state of things, the cruel engine that powers the world. I am old and ready to join my sister, I have been for longer than I'd like to admit. But we can't leave ...