Roman Travers: Any political party - just promise to fix NZ and then actually fix it once you’ve won

Getting to work on time isn’t usually an issue for me.  

I have a well-staged and orchestrated routine that has me rolling out of bed on the first alarm, staggering with mediocre accuracy to the bathroom where I plunge my freshly light tortured eyes and body into an overly hot shower, before dressing at fireman like speed and sliding down the lift shaft to my Newstalk ZB racing car. 

Today, all of that speed and agility was once again exercised expertly as I’ve done hundreds of times before. 

But then I was caught like a possum in the lights at the intersection of Newton and Ponsonby Road. As I approached, the lights for me were red. And they stayed red for what seemed like hours. 

I sat there contemplating all forms of wizardry that might entice the lights to change to that favourable shade of green that we all love. I sat there calculating the action of getting out of the car, running over to the pedestrian lights and activating those – so that the opposing green light would within seconds turn red. 

Then I sat there and contemplated inching my way into the intersection, against the red light; in a very safe manner of course. But as I sat there contemplating this highly dodgy action, I realised that the red light camera was well and truly trained upon the Early Edition racing car. 

I then began to delve into further calculations and ran the scientific odds of this camera actually working in light of just how broken New Zealand’s infrastructure is.  

Then I thought, what are the odds of me easing my car into the intersection, gently running the red light only to find a police officer waiting to set off his own display of red and blue lights. Those odds by the way were overwhelmingly in their favour. Not mine. 

By this time, many other cars had piled up behind me, possibly running the same calculations; and mentally urging me to be the one to break the law, run the red light and commit the crime of Friday morning.  

After what seemed like hours of interminable pain and suffering; the lights turned green and I was eventually able to get to work and tell Executive Producer Hannah all about my epic early morning contemplation of law breaking frustration.  

I know New Zealand isn’t completely stuffed. But at 3:30am when traffic lights don’t allow you to get to work and your stress levels are through the roof… only one thought coursed through my head. Just fix the infrastructure.  

Anyone. Any political party. Just promise to fix New Zealand and then actually fix it all once you’ve won the election. Please. 

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