Episode 420: Coach My Life, Please Pt. 1 (Feat. Chris GQ Perry)

Relationship coach, Chris GQ Perry joins the ladies of Lip Service this week to help the ladies with their own relationships. Part 2 of this interview to drop next week! Enjoy!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
What APPX lip Service.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Angela Yee, I'm Gigi Maguire, I'm Stephanie Santiago, I'm.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Laura Moa and it's Chris CQ Perry.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Okay. First of all, Chris GQ Perry, I've been following
you for quite a while and usually in the morning,
I guess because I always look at what you have
to say about relationships. It pops up on my timeline,
like the first thing I opened on Instagram. It'll be
like one of your posts. You know, always right away
that positivity you need. It's like a daily information.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Right So, Chris, let's talk about who you are, because
you are a relationship coach, you're a best selling author,
and you have your own show. So just give people
a little bit of a background.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yep. So my book twenty four Reasons You Are Good
Enough was pretty much just an idea of who I
am and just talking about things that I've gone through
to make me the person that I am, and that
trickles into my relationship stuff because I feel like it's
very important to love yourself before you can love anybody else.
And that's what my book means to me and to
the people that read it. I hope they feel the same,

(00:59):
and then I, Yeah, I'm just a small town boy
and I have my traditional values. My dad and my
mom raised me. My dad was a very masculine, strong man,
and he taught me how to be a man, how
to lead, how to protect, how to provide. And I
feel like in today's generation, we lack that the common
values in relationships, and people are struggling so much to

(01:21):
find a good man or a good woman because they
don't understand their roles in a relationship. They don't understand
how to be in healthy relationships.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
You think that is this generation? Like it's a newer phenomenon,
because okay, and why do you think that is?

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Why do I think that is?

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, Like, why do you think that's happening in this generation?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
I honestly think it starts in the home. I don't
think the man's in the home enough. We don't have enough,
especially in the black community. The father's not in the
house to build that structure. You see, A woman can
can raise a boy, but if he doesn't see what
he needs to do and what and what he ed
A man has to do to love his mom correctly

(02:02):
and what a man's role is he's not going to know.
His mom can tell until he's blue in the face.
This is what you're supposed to do. This is how
you treat a woman. This is how you're a man
and a provider. But if he doesn't see it, he
doesn't know. He only knows what his mom shows him.
And that's why I say this, and it's such it's
so important when I say this, because men look for
women that are like their mom. So men look for

(02:22):
a woman that does everything for them and plays the
role of their.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Mom instead of how I feel about the man on
the East Coast at least.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
But I don't feel like that about all men.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Not all men.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Even women take on the role of being nurturing too,
because sometimes as women, like we maybe cater too much.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Yes, I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
I feel like women that I first go to when
I'm with a man, my nursing side, like I want
to take care of everything.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Are you okay? Are you hungry? Maybe?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
She like we been on the back where Yeah, I feel.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Like I'm definitely I'm a mother and I've been a
mother since sixteen.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
She has two sons.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I have a twenty two year old and I have
a twelve year old, so like that's just something organic
and that's just my personality. Like I'm like that with
my friends, I'm like that with my family. I'm like
that with people they don't even like me, Like that's
just something in me. And I feel like sometimes when
I do that, people think I don't love myself, you know,
But I love you, So therefore I love myself and
I give what I want. I feel like, if I

(03:30):
want love, I got to give love. So when it
comes to friendship, relationship, family ship, like that's all I
know how to do. Because I also didn't get a
lot of that growing up. So you're right, I didn't
get it from her, and it.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Has to be reciprocated. I'm not going to sit here.
I'm not sitting here bashing all men. There are good
men out there, but I just feel like there's not enough, okay,
and the men set the tone in relationships. We can
sit here, women can sit here and say all day
this is I want to nurse, nurture my man. I
want to be there for my man. But how exhausting
does it get? If the man is leading, yeah and
being and setting the tone of the relationship, it works.

(04:03):
If the woman has to set it.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
If he's doing that for you too, then it works, right,
He's you think we give up too easily nowadays too.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Oh my god, one hundred percent. Social media has made that.
It's so there's so many fishency right with social media.
Like you see somebody that's beautiful and you just want
to go grab them because you can get him. You
have that option to just jump in their inbox.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Well, listen, because you are a relationship coach, we are
definitely going to take advantage of the fact that you're
here because everybody has different situations going on. So I know,
we all came up with things that are going on
in our lives that we're going to share today just
to get to your perspective, you know, as an expert
in this scenario. And by the way, you got to

(04:42):
check it out because he also just recently sat down
with Tia Murray. So that was a great conversation that
you had.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
If you guys, she's a good woman. She did me
a favor. She didn't have to do what she did.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Right, Yeah, but it seemed like she very much wanted
to do it too. Because sometimes it's having those conversations
and hopefully what we talk about today helps other people
who might be going through something similar. It can spark something.
And you say, Laura, let's start with you, hey, because
we talked about what all of our situations are right now,
so that we could you know, share with you.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I'm coaching through.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
And you can send us in boys.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
So basically, all right, I met some one amazing person,
but he's in the process of a divorce. They're legally
separated at the moment, and we've been dating for about
six months now and everything is great, except that that's

(05:38):
not fully taking care of it, and it kind of
like it's it's it's it's calls and problems as far
as like the time. You know, he has two girls,
so it's like he has to spend time with the girls.
And then you know, his significant his wife because she's
still his wife, which is hard to really say. She's
not having it like she already know who I am.

(06:00):
So now that's even worse, Like she's not trying to
give him the divorce.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
She's listening right, and she's yeah, she definitely is talking
about at this moment.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, she's she definitely she doesn't want to divorce.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
Some At first, I was a little.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I held back, Like I took a while before I
could really fully put my guard zones and really going
because I'm not I haven't dated a man going through
a divorce, and I didn't know if I should even
do that because, like you said, like in this generation,
there is.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
Not a lot of values and morales.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
So I was still feeling bad because it's like, yeah,
you're legally separated, but you're still legally married until the divorce,
and she just won't sign the divorce, so it's like
how long are we going to go with this? But
now he's dealing with that, But then he's dealing with
work issues, and it's like the time like that, I
feel like the things that I want and I need
from him, I'm being over understanding and at the same

(06:50):
time compromising.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
So you're accommodating him. And she's also not letting him
see his kids the way that he went right.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah, we've been dating for six months.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Six months, Yes, And it was easy at first until
she find out.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Who I was m So is he trying to get
the divorce? Is he putting the effort in?

Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (07:11):
And and I you know, I always still had my
doubts because I don't put past, let them past, no
men right now. So I always had my doubts until
she called my phone. She called my phone and she
tried to act like she was his sister, and then
I was like, that's not his sister.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
I was like, yeah, you're not his sister.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
She was like, well, I'm just trying to see where
he's at, because he told me he moved in with you,
so you know, his daughter need him so and I
was like, you're so stupid. You just proved to me that, Okay,
he's not lying about where you guys are at and
you're divorce, you know, So that let me know that
he wasn't lying for real.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
And I made her communication to right.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
So I try.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
I trust him and I believe him, but he's now
overwhelmed with that, and then he has a lot of
projects and business things going on, and then he's in
between because he left the house, you know, so he's
not where he wants to be and he feels that
it's too much for me. But I'm like, I knew
what I was getting into, and I already decided to
be understanding of that because I see who you are

(08:11):
as a person, and we're Greek together, So you're doing
all that understanding. Yeah, like I'm doing all the understanding.
But now it's like where we at.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
But it's not like he's not trying. He's doing everything
he can as a man too, trying to make this happen.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
Like he's exactly to be with you, exactly.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Be different if he was just stagnant and just like
giving you the run around and not being on right.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
But he's trying, but he feels like he's feeling.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
So he doesn't want to fail me and he doesn't
want me to hurt, so he rather us just for
the meantime.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
So I'm like, I.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Don't know if I could just sit here and wait,
I don't I may meet somebody else, Like what do
I do?

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Yeah? Because how long is this gonna take?

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Exactly, especially you don't want to sign it and it's
so early on to be going through this exact Like
he doesn't want to where we're at right now, it's like, no,
he wants to, but he's trying to safeguard my feelings
and my emotions and from me be grateful for him.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yeah, so he's being really thoughtful.

Speaker 5 (09:05):
So you guys aren't talking anymore. No, we're still peing
each other.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, we're still conversating, but it's that like he's leaving
he he's leaving it in my court. But at the
same time he he don't want to cause pain.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
Right, he doesn't know.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
It's interesting because I feel like we're also at a
point where some people's relationships are coming to an end.
Like we see there was a period where everyone's getting married.
Now there's a lot of people getting divorced because it
does happen, but they're not divorced yet. And some people
will tell you, well, oh, that person is still legally married,
but you can see they're separated and he's working on
moving on it. But he does have kids, and he
does have responses and was.

Speaker 5 (09:40):
Sounding like everything was the goal because he told her
that he moved in with.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
You, like, but then he started having business problems, so
it ended up like he's just very overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, and the relationship is suffering because of it. I mean,
it's always going to feel like he doesn't me to her.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
So what I keep telling him is, like I said,
I I knew what I was getting into, so I
want to be there for you.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
I want to support you through this.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
I want to help you builds and I know everything
feels like the world is coming down on you, but
you're going to get through it. Because I went through
not a divorce, but you know when me and my
youngest son dad, like I went through hell like it
was and that's what she It kind of takes me
back to what I went through when I decided to
leave my son's dad because I didn't see it going

(10:24):
anywhere and I didn't want to stay with a man
just for you know, for the kids. And I tell
him that a lot, like, you know, do you think
that you do you want to go back because of
the kids? If that's like, you know, for the kids,
it's never yeah, and that's what he says. He said,
it's mind, but he's not going to be able to
do it.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
And then you deciding that you wanted to be with
a man that was going through a divorce. I mean
it takes time and if you know what you want,
you know you want to be with him, you kind
of got to go through that storm with him.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
And I'm willing to, but it doesn't want to hurt me.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
But why where is this hurt thing coming from?

Speaker 4 (10:57):
Though? Like because he do so if it's it's not
The marriage is work, you know.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
And then what he kind of explained to me just yesterday,
the day before yesterday, when we finally had a conversation,
he was like, you know, I feel like I'm so overwhelmed.
I'm lashing out at people because I'm just so upset.
And every time we speak, I know you hurt and
I'm lashing out in you and I don't want to
do that.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
So you need to get his shit together.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, and the need some time on his own for
a little while, That's.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
What he's saying.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
I went back to like one of my exes a
couple months ago, right, and he was just hanging around
me going through a divorce, and it was so stressful.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
I couldn't deal with it.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
It is, so you know, I understand like what the
annoyance like it would bother.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
You, because sometimes people feel like, let me get over
her by getting under you, right, say right. Sometimes people
jump from one situation to another, but they're not completely ready.
I don't know, Like it feels like he has so
much going on that he needs to focus on himself.
Because at a time, certain times in your life, you
do have to be kind of selfish.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I would think, as you're going through having career issues
for wanting to deal with that person, because I really
like it.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
He hasn't figured out his co parenting situation.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Exactly that situation.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
I'm sorry both of his children with her, yeah, and
how old are they and they're girls.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
I don't want to say the ages.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
So you can decide if you want to ride through
the storm with him, if you want to take a
step back to the biggest he wants to do.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
I'm willing to ride the storm with him, but I
feel like he's not the he's not where he wants
to be at, and he feels that he's not the
man that I deserve. But I tell him, you can't
tell me what I want and what I needed. I
know what it is. But I do respect him and
I do respect that. At first, I was frustrated because
I was like, come on, now, all this time, it's
been six months, we're good, But and and and again,

(12:47):
I'm like, I'm telling him, I'm like, you feel like
you're at your lowest right now. And I think it's
more because what he's going through I went through, not
with marriage, but it's kind of like similar and I'm like,
it feels like it's the worst thing and feel like, damn,
should I stay in this just because of my kids?

Speaker 4 (13:03):
You know? But it gets better. She's gonna get she's hurt.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
No matter what she cheated on you, whatever it was
that she did, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
She probably don't even want you.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
But if you don't exactly, I'm like, but eventually, as
when you get over it, like it seems right now
like it's terrible.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
So I just decide.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I was like, you know what, I'm not going to
force anything. I'm gonna just let it go. But I
can't promise that I'm gonna be here when you feel
like the dust settle and you're ready to do girls,
So what's your question?

Speaker 3 (13:31):
And you come first, right, So you have to sit
down with yourself and decide what do I want for me?
Where do I want to be? Am I getting enough
out of this relationship? And if the answer is no,
then you might have to step back and give him
his time. But if you guys are in a good
place and you guys are communicating and he feels like
he can get through this with you.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Then that's the part that has me like, I don't
have to be.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Very open with that communication and very honest. You can't
just like we'll see what happens tomorrow. No, you need
you guys need to have these conversations daily and make
sure you guys are on the same page and communicating
with one another, because it's so easy to not talk
about things and just things kind of fall in the
place where they do it.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
And that's never good.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
And that's what I was doing.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Like it was a lot of things, like we're the time,
you know, because I'm super busy, like Angela ye has
me hella busy. Okay, so he Busy's good, amazing, so
but but you.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Know you're not busy. That's when you be stalking people.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
So it's like I tell him, it's not like I'm
not busy. I'm super busy. So I understand the time.
But we still have to make time, right, And that's
the part that I you know, I would stay quiet,
you know sometimes, like I was three four days without
seeing each other, and even though it bothers me, I
don't want to be another burden. I don't want to nag.

(14:45):
I don't want to put more on him, so I
stay quiet. So then when he do come around, and
we see each other. I'm happy, I'm receptive, but I'm not.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Everything's on his time and on what exactly that that's
what I have. That's a hard time. Yeah, the balance
is off. That's to balance that out. But the question
is is he able with all of the overwhelming and
the busyness and this and that happening, is he able
to be able to create their balance for the relations And.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
She can't give you, like some of the things that
you need, and he's going days without talking to you,
then you're gonna have to question if that's what you want.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
You got to hand your handself.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
Before anything, like do you are you willing to go
five days without talking to him for a whole year
and making this a consistent thing, or do you want more?
And if you want more, you might have to fall
back and give him a space and find it somewhere else,
or decide what you want to do for you first
before anything. Remember you come first, your happiness.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Chris, Let me ask you this while she's in the
midst of this, is it okay for her? Like all right,
let's just say now you're like, you know, get your
shit together, let me fall back do this, But she's
dating other Let's just say she starts dating other.

Speaker 4 (15:45):
People down that work, right? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Does he have the right then, because sometimes you feel like, well,
I don't want to do that because then he won't
really take me seriously if I start dating other people
but we're not in a relationship. He said this, X, Y,
and Z. Do you think you should make an effort
to date other people or is it better to just
kind of, like, you know, wait it out and see
if the person who I really want, if he figures

(16:07):
it out.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
That's where you have to decide. Because if you decide
that you don't, you have to communicate that with him
and then kind of just enjoy you can date because
once you communicate I'm not ready for this right now,
I don't think you are. I'm going to take a
step back and I'm going to date. I'm gonna enjoy
my life. He has no right to tell you, oh,
you can't do that.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
Yeah, it's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Got answered that because literally, somebody just out of the blue,
I would have So I was invited out two weeks
ago somewhere. Normally I wouldn't go because I'll be at
homewait and well, I don't know maybe he'll be able
to make time, like you know, I wouldn't do anything
like I'm like, oh, maybe he has time today, but
this time, since it's been like that and he said
what he said, my friend's like, yo, let's go. We

(16:43):
went and literally I met someone who's great. But now
I'm like, ah, should I Now Ye're allowed today pursue this.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
You're not in a relationship, just just keep that honest,
open communication even though you're still healthy. Changed. Yeah, you
need to be You need to be honest with what
you're doing with hi man, because if you what if
you're out and he sees you, what if you get
in a situation? What if he knows you're talking to somebody.
I think it's very important.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
You can tell him.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
I feel like you don't have to, though, because I
also feel like, you know, if you see me out,
it's like, dude, we're not in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
A man. If I feel like I'm in I'm dating
you and we're talking and then I'm just chilling out
when I see you with another woman.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
But we're not in a relationship another man, if we're
not in a relationship, wouldn't you think like she and.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
I said, if she's if she's communicating that like we're
not in a relationship, but if she ain't saying nothing.

Speaker 4 (17:34):
And then because it.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Was the start of a relationship, but but has it
been didnt have y'all had that? We are now committed
to each other? Conversation?

Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah, up under and all sudden that's changed for the
past like month, like the past month and a half.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Okay, so now maybe you shouldn't tell him that you
met somebody.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
But this is when you have the conversation of Okay,
if I do, I'm gonna.

Speaker 4 (17:59):
Yeah, I'm the first liar in the world.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Let me ask you that.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
As hard as it might be, or if it does
ruin that relationship, you have to be honest and he
has to be able to trust you, whether he likes
it or not. And you don't want to put yourself
in any situations. So if you decide that you want
to go out with somebody else, you have to let
him know. Listen, I know that we're going through whatever
we're going through. I'm gonna fall back and I'm gonna
date other people. You have to be honest.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
I'm gonna still support you, but I'm gonna be over here. Yeah, yeah,
that figuring my life.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Or when you lose a woman's trust you, it's very
hard to get that back.

Speaker 4 (18:34):
All right, figure your ship out, and I'm gonna figure
mine out.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Now, Jji, let's get to yours, because you have.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
What y'all looking y'all looking over there like I ain't
saying nothing, but you.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Know that was my That was that was what I said.
I'm gonna figure myself. You figure yourself out, and I'm
gonna figure mine out too. So that way, she's saying
you're doing what you're doing and I'm doing what I'm
doing without actually saying I'm gonna date other people. But
you know you're figuring, figuringspect because I was trying to
figure out us, but you're not ready for that. So
not I'm gonna figure out me. Women. All right now,
gizz let's talk about your situation, my situation. I cannot

(19:04):
wait till you hear this.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yeah, so I am two months into a relationship where
it was love at first night. I feel like it
should be first first night only two months July August, August, September.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, two months, so sixty day fiance, she's engaged. She
got engaged after how long three days.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
Three days, like love does not wait. Love that first
night love is not what it was. It wasn't it
wasn't first sight, but it was first night.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
I'm not gonna say no, but I'm going to say
this though, it takes about a year, year and a
half to get out of that infatuation stage and then
you start seeing somebody'shoe colors. A year. Yeah, we're in
the honeymoon. I think we're in the honeymoon face for
at least a year.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
Honeymoon about two years.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Then you start seeing or not.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
I don't like they start fighting with the whole but
go ahead, I'm not. I'm so we are not planning
to like go get married tomorrow. We are planning to
live this committed life for at least a month. No, no, no,
until we you know, figure it out. But we did
commit to each other relationship within like the first hour

(20:19):
of that first night date night. And then three days
later he's like, let's get married, and I'm like, okay,
so here we are. Do you believe in that type
of quick love?

Speaker 3 (20:34):
I think you need to get somebody, to get to
know somebody a little better before you jump. But I'm
not judging you but I do think that when somebody's
very like, let's get married and let's just do this,
let's have a kid.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Oh there will be no.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Kids, right, but some people I saw people saying love
bombing in your comments.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
Yeah, so it was like, oh, that's the bombing.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Oh he's manipulating.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
But nobody knows what you got, and so I'm not
here to judge.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
So we definitely held hands and leaped face first together.
And sixty days later, everything's fine. We're still holding hands
and we're still descending on this.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
No issues, nothing, Everything is good.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
I mean, small things, but nothing to whereas though I'm like,
oh my god, I made a mistake, like there was
some there was a miscommunication issue that happened just a
couple of days ago. We have not had an argument, like,
we have not yelled at each other. That has been
no cursing or anything. But there was a situation where
we there was a miscommunication in a conversation that we had.

(21:35):
He asked me to do something and I didn't know
that he asked me to do it, and I didn't
do it, and then his attitude changed and I'm like, okay,
I'm leaving. So I left because I didn't want to
create an argument.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
What did you say?

Speaker 1 (21:47):
I said, I loved a little commentary, So.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
I left.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
For one, I didn't want to argue at all. For two,
his son was there, so I didn't want to express
negative energy in front of his son.

Speaker 4 (22:01):
So I just left.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
But I text him as soon as I got to
my car, and I told him what my issue was,
and when he responded, I realized that I miscommunicated what
he said to me. So ultimately, that's what the issue was.
So that wasn't like a big thing. But that's like
the only thing that happened, and it wasn't big at all.
But I even I don't know if I would have
left if his son wasn't there, but I definitely wouldn't

(22:25):
have like blown it up to be a big argument
because it was something like very minute school. So I
feel like I was proud of myself for handling it
that way, because you know, I'm fucking great, Yeah, like
I am rare, you know what I'm saying normally, and
I did not.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
I held the clause in and I was proud of
myself for that.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
But so interesting to know, like as a relationship coaching,
as a man, what you think about it for one
and for two.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Advice because I did it already. I just name tattooed
on me. Yeah, you can't really go back now, Well
you can tattooed. I mean I can always get removed
the cover. First of all, sidebar tattoos is over the
sidebar about the tattoo. Everybody and the me maw is

(23:13):
worried about this damn tattoo.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
I am not worried about the was the tattoo.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Let me see.

Speaker 4 (23:18):
You can't see the tattoo, can't. Yeah you can't.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
I'll show your picture later, but you can't see it, right.
But but everybody's worried about this tattoo, like.

Speaker 4 (23:27):
You, tatty. That man's name are you after three days?

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Right? And and I don't care about that part because
I have tattoos all over my body like you. Your
tattoos mean have meetings, right, All of my tattoos have meanings.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
I don't have not one tattoo and tattooed somebody. He's
not the first man tattooed.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
On me, you know.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
But even so, he's gonna be permanent. Exactly negativity. We
don't live together, we live in the same city. I
did not move in with him.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
I will not move in.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
No, I stay there a lot, but I will I
have He has his own space that he's been in
that he fully fits in with his son is partially
living with him. They have joint Why would you give
for that? And I have my own space that I'm
very comfortable in and are we understand?

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Why would you give?

Speaker 1 (24:16):
I'm not trying to blend until we are actually married,
because I've made that my love before. But I picked
up and moved in with a man with my child
and it didn't work and I ended up. But that
honeymoon face, like you said, right, and I'm here for that.
That's really really fun. That's really amazing. You know, that's
exciting and lovey dovey. You had your first little tiny argument.
That's always a cute milestone too. So what do you

(24:38):
think about Gigi's situation?

Speaker 3 (24:41):
I think it was kind of fast. I'm gonna be honest,
because you don't really know people's demons and the trauma,
childhood trauma that makes us who we are, like little
arguments fighting with somebody, somebody just running out on you, like,
oh you really can't communicate, Like I gotta know things
about you and I got to know how our dynamic is.
I want to see you at you're worst. I need
to know what you are, like it's your worst, You're

(25:01):
gonna show me what you are at your best, because yeah,
you know that.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
First.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
And I just think that I'm not trying to judge you,
like I respect what you do and it may be
a beautiful relationship, but I do think take your time
with it and just kind of like really try to
figure that person out and enjoy the ride and don't
rush things because you don't really know somebody until you.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Jesus like, no, no, no, I agree with all of that,
and I think that No, I definitely agree, and he
got engaged from there. So here's the thing. And Angela,
we are all friends. So they noticed about me. I
never ever wanted to get married. I was with somebody
for eleven years and didn't want to marry him. So
it's like the fact that I even feel like, oh

(25:47):
my God, like this person is like really my person,
like and it's like small things that it's how it's
of course the energy and chemistry, like of course that's
like the what everybody's says, but it's like little things
like the way we like organize our cabinets and fold
our towels. It's like really small things like down to
like brand lotions and soaps and shit that we will feel.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
It's very like those things. Those sound like important things,
that they are important things. There are important things, but
it's things that you would never think matter. Like I'm
trying to say.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
So, it's like so our first thirty days together, but
we like to en leave each other side and we
would wake up every morning at like six am and
just like talk, like the communication and the trust from
day one has only been continuing to build, Like we've
learned so much about each other, family, past, religion, like

(26:41):
all of those important conversations, and it was kind of
like a crash course on each other. Sometimes people come
from such fucked up prior relationships that it kind of
prepares you for like all the things you don't want,
and then you know what you don't want and that
helps you know what.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
You do want. I don't know, like this could be
a beautiful relationship. Things can break out, and I think
that also spent some time living with him before you
make any big decisions.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Definitely not going, We're definitely not getting So he's a
business owner's entrepreneur. He has restaurants and clubs, and there
are restaurants being built out, there's a club being remodeled.
So we're not even thinking about playing the wedding until
all of that is done. Coffee his restaurants.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Yeah, we got to make to get on that menu.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
So it's not like we like, okay, we got engaged
in there, we're getting married tomorrow, like we're really gonna like,
let they ask y'all both something and everybody here. How
I'm praying, is sex in the equation when it comes
to something like this, okay, because it's like that the
sex is definitely good, but okay, let's just say it.

(27:48):
We're coming from what everything else was great. Let's just
say and fortunately for you it is, but let's just
say it wasn't. Do you think you could still feel
this way?

Speaker 4 (27:58):
So?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
And I only asked this because I was watching The
Ultimatum on Netflix and she had an issue with her
man just because this sex wasn't that great but everything else.
So the relationship that I was in prior to this
one lasted for a year and a half, and the
worst part of that relationship was the sex. What do

(28:19):
you think about that, Chris, Like, can you see a
relationship working and thriving if this sex just does not click?

Speaker 3 (28:26):
No, I think that you guys gotta find either ways
to spark it up a little bit and figure out
what's going on. But yeah, that's a that's important part
of a relationship, especially if sex is important to you,
your sexual highly sexual person.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I am relationship that relationship that I was in two
years ago. What was so bad about it?

Speaker 4 (28:45):
The sex.

Speaker 6 (28:49):
You're gonna so, you know, So it was the very
first time we had so we waited probably like I
don't know, six months before we had sex, sign right,
and the very first time I feel like there was
so much passion and anticipation that it was good.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
The first time I came twice it was great, not great,
but it was good. Right.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Every every time since then, like every time it was
like very cookie cutter, like exactly the same, and it
didn't last very long. And I can literally remember in
a year and a half, I can remember twice that
it was different.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
I remember the exact two times that it wasn't the same,
exact sex, and then it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
But that's the problem with it.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
I mean, it just it just he was. He was
on average size. You're very vocal. Did you tell him
and he was?

Speaker 4 (29:45):
I didn't tell her, Yeah he was answered he had
some weird injury.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah, penis no, but that's your side. But he was
going through some things with his body, like in turn
those things with his body, so he couldn't do a
whole lot.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
So basically I rolled him until he came every single time.
Yeah right, nobody wants to do that. Okay, all right,
that was our sex every time except twice, and then
it wasn't that big.

Speaker 4 (30:12):
I'm not gonna lie, so I did for my opinion.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
But I didn't say like, oh my god, I hate
our sex, because I didn't really hate it, but it
just wasn't good. However, when I did like kind of
bring it up, he would just like brush it off
and not really want to like get into like the conversation.

Speaker 4 (30:28):
So yeah, after a.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
While, I was just like, all right, I gotta slide
up out of this, and eventually I did.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
I ended the relationship.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
But you're not going to tell be cause you didn't
really miss him. When he was like, you know, like
yeah it's good, you'd be like listen, I need Yeah,
you were like I had talked to him in three weeks.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
That was the other thing.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
The other reason why I broke up with that man
is because we would go weeks without seeing each other
and we did. We were not in a long dier
stance relationship. We were It actually got to the point
where it was like a two month span where I'm like,
we haven't seen each other in two months going on
exactly so like that in the in the Terrible sex.
And it was another thing that I care not to
mention on camera, was the three things that made me

(31:09):
be like, all right, I gotta suck out with it.
So I ended it.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
But that's the thing, though, that was something that was
important to you. That's something that was important to you
that you communicated to him. He didn't try to fix.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
No right and wouldn't even address he wouldn't even like
get into the conversation part of communication. And it was
more than once that I bought it up in different settings,
Like it was literally one time when we like I'm
taking like the the hot washcloth back to the bathroom
and I'll come back and I get right in bed
and I say something about what just happened, and then
he's just like I'd love to come too. Exactly, That's

(31:44):
not what I said, but you know what I'm saying,
Like I said something like in the moment, like right after,
like in the moment you.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Got to hit him in the ego to get them.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
And he just was like a rag No I.

Speaker 7 (31:58):
Cold.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
I believe that they left him in the bathtub where
they left Shorty home in the bathtub.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
The Tyler Perry wash cloth.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
But yeah, definitely gonna take my time moving forward with right,
because if that's your if that's your forever, there's no rush. Right,
you're together, We're taking the day by day. Do you
think marriage is important nowadays? Because there's so many people
now who were like we could be together but not
get married.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
To each his own me personally, I do think marriage
is important.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
But that's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
I think that you guys should if you're gonna get married,
like an said, is forever, might as well.

Speaker 4 (32:37):
I don't agree. I think you should do it faster.
You know we're gonna wait. Don't give it that we're
gonna wait.

Speaker 3 (32:44):
I think you should wait and see all sides of him.
I see all sid because you even admitted like you
just ran out and he was like, y'all, I'm tripping,
I'm doing too much. So he got to see those
sides of you tube to see how you react.

Speaker 4 (32:55):
You felt like you're doing too much.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
No, this was the in the moment of this miscommunication
she got.

Speaker 4 (33:01):
And just like, yeah, it's just mad. You didn't really
feel like that.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
I felt I didn't feel like I was doing too much.
But I felt like if I don't remove myself from
the situation, it can turn negative, and I don't want
to do that. Like, I know my capabilities. I know
I'm about to Chris, how did you know your women?

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Brittany?

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Okay, how did you know she was the one?

Speaker 3 (33:23):
A lot of time, a lot of working with each other.
We do therapy, so us just kind of growing and
taking our time and our relationships. So a lot of
people always say, like, you're not married, spent five years
in now I want to get married now I'm ready,
But I feel like we just spent a lot of
time building, building our relationship with God, building our relationship
with each other, seeing every aspect of each other.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
How have you guys been together five years?

Speaker 3 (33:46):
I know I'm about to hear why you ain't married?

Speaker 4 (33:48):
It isn't a long time married.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
We aren't married yet.

Speaker 4 (33:53):
No, are you getting married?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Look at that?

Speaker 4 (33:59):
I want to hear her. Go ahead.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
How long?

Speaker 4 (34:00):
So you guys have been together five years?

Speaker 2 (34:02):
You've already explored guard God, you know this is your
person person and you be in a relationship expert five years.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
I don't think there's a timeline, right.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Do you think that's you think that's a long but
you think that's a long time normal. I don't think
that's a long time. It's like my regular relationship around
the corner, like I have with anybody. Any All of
my relationships are five get older.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
The thing is she does, and that's why I know.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
She was getting to wait want I'm sorry. Child is
thirty thirty, she has time. Do you guys have children?

Speaker 3 (34:38):
We do not have children together, Yes, but she wants children.
I'm a firm believer in just taking our time. And
people always tell you know her, her family, my family,
They want to rush things. Yeah, I do want to
you have a child. Yeah, I do have a child,
but I want a child with her.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
So let me let me make this clear too, because
I know this is going to come out. I'm not
a perfect man. By any means, and I don't want
to sit here and appreciate it like I know everything.
I'm speaking from my experience and things that I've been through.
I went through my dog years, I went through my
fun years.

Speaker 6 (35:09):
Not you.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
Yeah, within the past five years.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Not within the past five years. Absolutely not. When I
was younger. When I was a young man, I experienced,
I had fun. You get older, you mature, you live,
and you learn right. And I'm not here to sit
here and try to talk like I'm perfect. None of
my messages are talking about being perfect. I just want
to once speak about the man that I inspire to
be and to hold myself accountable and try to inspire

(35:33):
other young men coming up.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
We can't listen to people who think they're perfect, though
nobody is perfect. Yeah, because I think you learn the
most from things that didn't work out, yep. And I
always feel that way because we've all sat here and
had some things that did not work out, and some
of it is not our fun and some of it
is tend to be able to understand what we've done,
you know in the past that we're like, Okay, that

(35:56):
was a mistake, and I can tell you what I
did so you know not to do the same thing
I did.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
So are you feeling pressured?

Speaker 3 (36:03):
No, I don't feel her too for a marriage from her? Yes,
am I feeling pressured? So you feel like she's waiting
and I know she's ready. She's ready and waiting and
I know it's like now, now is the time? And
I prayed on it and I know I know it's time.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
So I want to say, asked one more question, because
when Laura was asking, you said no. Stephanie said what's
the date? And you said, I'm not going to tell
you the date? So you in your mind know that
you one of my forward with this. You have it,
but you just are going to work on it, and
that it happened when it happened.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
No, right, That's.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
What I'm That's what I'm getting at, Like, you know
what you want to do, and you know that they're
timing and you're figuring it out.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
What do you think about ultimating? That's what I get
from that because sometimes in relationships people feel like, look,
we've been together X amount of years and you know,
and there is a show on Netflix that I just
reference called The Ultimatum, But what do you think about
women being like Okay, we've been together eight years, and
so what are we doing.

Speaker 3 (36:59):
Yeah, that's her boundary. She setting her boundaries and what
she wants in the relationship. If that's what she wants,
you got to respect that she's communicating it with you,
like you communicate it with the sex thing, right, You're
letting your man know and it's his decision to decide
what he wants to do with that. I'm going to
do the right thing, or I'm just going to avoid
you and just keep doing what I want and I
broke up with him. Yeah, I think communication is very

(37:21):
That's why it's so healthy, right, communication, Because when you
don't tell your partner and then you break up, you
feel like the bad person because you didn't communicate what
was wrong in the relationship. But when you communicate and
you're being consistent and your partner's not doing what they want,
it's so much easier for you to just walk away
because it's like I told.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
You, But sometimes over communicating, Like, I'm a very communicated person.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
I love to communicate. I'm very emotional. I agree with you,
you can't over communicate, bro I am very.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
To the point where it's like Nagari, right, and this
is what I'm saying, or it's just CMI.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
That's how I felt like, we're my situation.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Like he felt that because I was communicating and expressing
how I'm feeling at the moment, is that I was
upset or that I was angry.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
But I'm like, I'm not.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
I'm just expressing how I feel and how some of
your moves make me feel. I know it's unintentional, but
it's still having these feelings, and I just want you
to know that so you could be aware of it
and be a little more mindful when you make the
moves that you make.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Isn't that crazy how it works? I feel like women
are always going to feel they're over communicating because women
are much more emotional than men, and it's a man's job.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
List hear that from me.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Men were meant to carry the burdens of his family, right,
So what a woman's communicating with you, I think what
men lack is the ability to put their anxiety to
a side, to the side and listen to their women
and understand her. Because what happens is men want to
fix things. So when a woman's telling her what's telling
him what's wrong. This has bothered me. Instantly he gets
into an anxiety mode like he wants to fix it, like,

(38:44):
just be quiet, we will fix this is.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
What we're going to do. We're going to figure it out.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
And a woman wants to talk through it, yes.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
And the man is on his actions and.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
I got high anxiety. I don't want to really engage
in this conversation, and they try to brush it off.
But I think when a man could get a asking,
a man can understand a woman's feelings validate her feelings. First,
I understand why you feel this way, even if he
doesn't at the moment, I understand why you feel this way.
Just give me a little bit of time to just
kind of figure out how I can get my thoughts

(39:13):
together and communicate how I feel with you. And that's
for a woman too. A woman is very high anxiety,
or a woman is very high strung, so when she
gets upset, her first thought is sometimes she loses it
in her being able to be like, you know, I
need to chill. Why do I feel the way I do?
What's the real reason I feel the way I do?
Bringing herself back and then having a healthy conversation, because

(39:33):
yelling and screaming is not going to fix anything.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Some people say I act like a dude in relationships
because I'd be mad calm till I do not want
to talk about everything all the time. It's true, like
you're also a laid back person in general.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, you was gonna say that's because you were.

Speaker 7 (39:50):
Let's talk about you got her saying that Angelo got
that New York, you got that New York that. I
will say this like people think like the man is
the only masculine in the relationship.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
That's not true. The woman could be the masculine, the
man could be the feminine one.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Can we both be mascular hilarity?

Speaker 3 (40:07):
The balance is the balance of the two. So there's
the masculine and the feminine. It might be the woman,
it might be the man, but there has to be
that balance.

Speaker 4 (40:14):
Then it can't be too masculine.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
No, it's not gonna work out. There has to be
a masculine and the feminine, and that has to balance
yourself out.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Balance auto.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Look at two women that are together, you always know
right away who's the mask. You know who's the femine.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
What are some things you learned from your dog years?

Speaker 3 (40:32):
What did I learn from I've learned that there was
a time where you know, I would talk to multiple women,
I never got anywhere. I think those were my most
unsuccessful years of my life until I realized, like man,
I met brilliant in my life changed. Not saying I
was doing bad, but focusing on one person. Is somebody

(40:58):
that believes in you, is your teammate, is your partner
and helping you grow. There's nothing better than that. And
when you when you try to spread yourself too thing
and talk to multiple.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
People, you get nowhere fast.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
You get nowhere.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
It's time consuming and I don't know how people do it.

Speaker 4 (41:14):
I can.

Speaker 5 (41:15):
I don't have the attention span. I have the attention
span of a goldfish. I can't talk some more than
like three people a day, like but definitely I can't
even Okay, so I'm I don't want to talk about
my personal situations.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
But I'm doing fine now.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
You post some stuff on social media.

Speaker 5 (41:33):
No, I haven't been in the country. I don't even
know where I'm at. I'm living a hole matrix. I
don't even know where where we are, Like it's yeah,
so anyway, I still have a question though, like about
me relationship question. Like, Okay, so I meet guys and
This is throughout my life. This is an issue throughout

(41:55):
my life. Right I meet guys and I find that
they want to get serious very fast, right like making plans.

Speaker 4 (42:04):
This is throughout my entire life. And then I.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Feel like the faster you do that, the faster you burn,
you know, like because we get to like we get
to this fast pace getting to know each other, and
then you know, you start to see the parson that
you hate of the person quickly.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
I don't have any patience, you know.

Speaker 5 (42:29):
I think I've I've lost I may have given up
on some great men because I don't have any patience.
I have this thing about me that I just feel
like I've already been through like the worst relationship of
my life. And it's like I don't want any bullshit,
any red flag. I don't even like I'm done. I
don't want to talk anymore.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
So you don't have patience in relationship.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
I don't have any patient.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
Are you looking for a relationship?

Speaker 4 (42:56):
I think so? In my head? Is that patience?

Speaker 5 (42:59):
Like in my mind, I feel like I want to
be somebody's wife all the time.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
You have to have patience with people.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
And I feel like I feel like I'm patient with faith.
You know.

Speaker 4 (43:10):
I'm patient with my faith. I'm patient with.

Speaker 5 (43:12):
God, you know, And I think that's that, you know,
working on my faith has helped with that because I've
never been really a patient person. But when it comes
to men, especially at this point in my life, I
just feel like I'm just not going to put up
with any any bullshit.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
I just have.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
Boundaries any over, I understanding your boundaries.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
But then I might meet a guy and he might
see a red flag in me, because it happens the
other way around too. I might meet a great guy
and we're having a great time and then boom, he
sees a red flag in me, and he doesn't have
any patience for me either, so it happens back to
me too.

Speaker 4 (43:52):
So what do you think?

Speaker 3 (43:54):
First of all, relationships are hard, and anybody tells you
their relations so you have to have patience. And if
you see red, you're going to see red flags and
you're gonna see things you don't like about people. But
is it strong enough for you to just not talk
to them again? Or is it something petty like hard
to love?

Speaker 5 (44:10):
Is visient like you'll think that I'm going to be
there forever and boom you don't hear from me ever.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
Again, it sounds to me like you might just not
be ready for a relationship right now because maybe has
been the right person, and it might be that.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
That's what I was about to ask.

Speaker 5 (44:24):
This was my next my add on question, like, if
the person is really great, you think it's worth being
a little more patient for even though I see he's
doing things that I don't love.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
You know how patient I got to be with Branni
to this day. Patience when I be in the house.

Speaker 4 (44:39):
Sometimes nobody's perfect.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Yes, you're never You're always going to find something that
doesn't wait when you be in the house.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Sometimes I get frustrated. I'm not the type of person
that likes living with somebody. I need my space, like
I need to breathe. And then there's times when I
get frustrated with Brinnie, but I can't just be you know,
I'm out.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
You know, I'm not happy your man cave somewhere in
the house.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
Yeah, I got the man case. But even with that,
you know, it's just there's a level of patience and understanding.
It's hard enough living with ourselves and then living with
somebody else. So when you do make that commitment, you
have to be patient, understanding, loving, and communicate. And a
lot of that is from things that we've been through.

(45:20):
It's hard for us to do that, and it's a
lot of it is anxiety.

Speaker 5 (45:23):
I think I'm just easy to let everything go, like
fuck it, God, but you have a very fucking mindset.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
But but you're telling me that. It's telling me you're
not ready for a relationship. If you could just say,
if you could just let it go, Like if somebody
was to give you a hundred thousand dollars today, would
you just be like, you can have it back? Want
you would be like, no, no, no, I need that money,
right because you really want that right.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
A couple of times you had therapy.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
You're not gonna give up a gold mind in a
person either, right, if they're a good person, that's somebody
you really want. If you're not ready for that relation,
if you don't want it, you're just gonna give it back.
But if you're ready for that for it, you're gonna
work for it.

Speaker 4 (45:58):
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 5 (45:58):
Sometimes I look back and regret, like, dam maybe I
shouldn't have you know, did that?

Speaker 4 (46:03):
Maybe you know? Like and and it's like you can't
go back.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
You gotta even though I have to say, there's like
a good percentage that will come back, but it's like
you want wait, I'll wait it out and by the
time you know that thought would probably have left already.
You know where I'm like, oh, I made a mistake,
so by the time they come back, I probably don't
want them again.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Have you have a question for the room? So we,
like Angela mentioned before, you turn your losses into lessons, right,
you turn things that don't work out into a learning experience.
What do we do with our regrets, our relationship regrets.

Speaker 4 (46:39):
I don't regret anything.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
You never every situation I've been in my life, I
don't regret.

Speaker 4 (46:46):
I regret if you guys I still have, I do too.
I can't even shine. I haven't had too.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Many relationships that like, all my relationships have been long
relationships and hello, I have two kids, like but people
that right here your kids fall. I feel like God
put everybody in your life for a reason, and some
people I forget about to figure out why and what
that was.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
For, Like I don't necessarily mean a person, but maybe
a decision.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
No, But this is what I'm.

Speaker 5 (47:18):
Saying, me regretful for you know, curving somebody who could
have been a potential I don't have regret, good partner.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
For regretting people. I'm like, why do I get that person?
Don't you wish? Give you waste? Given things that you
learn from, right, you learn like, I'm not putting up
with this anymore if this happens. And you know, along
those lines, right, one of your red flags and this
is something I don't agree with. You said not posting

(47:45):
your significant other is a red flag.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Were talking about that.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
But see, I also feel like for me, I never
really I've never posted somebody I was dating, and I
feel like it's different. Also in the entertainment, I was
going to say that too, it's different for you to
post your significant other versus because why why is that?
Because there's more microscope spot Like, there's more there's more
people watching, there's more outside influences, there are more haters,

(48:12):
there's just more chatter.

Speaker 4 (48:14):
There's just more energy putting onto it.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
No, none of that, but I have to The thing
is like, if you're strong with your partner and you
guys are like this, nothing on the outside world.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
Matters.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
That's because we posted each other. That was that was
our announcement and they gonna find out anyway.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Bigger you get, the more you out.

Speaker 4 (48:34):
That was our That was our announcement to the world
that we were together.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Like I don't hide my man, I just don't post him.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
He's the.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
But I also feel like I kind of really use
my social media for more work related things.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
But you just you just said it. You don't have
you just posted your partner by just saying that you
have a partner. So you let you.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Say that knows that she's in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
But if you don't, we don't know that you have
a partner. So she's getting DMS or he's getting DMS.
You know how many people don't post their partner on purpose,
So it's just I could look like they're single, look
like they're just in case something bets case.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
But same times, it's also like depending on why, some
people are just not like social media people, you know
what I mean. Like for me, I feel like my
page is more about business than anything, you know, like
my in interview is what I have going on for work,
what I'm doing with this and until I kind of
feel like if I got married or something, I would,
you know, post from that. But other than that. I'm like,

(49:35):
everything feels like so much smoother without outside influences to me.

Speaker 5 (49:39):
No, absolutely, Like I just posted a picture and it
made the whole world turn up side.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
I saw that you posted with some guy and you
were like, this is my man, and I said said that.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
I never said that. I didn't say anything. I didn't
say anything, and everybody's like.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Going this you know what it is because you don't
post anybody ever, Like finally you post somebody and everybody
is just going to their speculatory.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
It's just like like it's fucking Instagram. But it's true, Like,
as a person in the entertainment business, my Instagram is
for a certain thing, you know what I'm saying, it's
not for all of that. And it's like I just
gave myself Like I'm telling you, I live in the matrix.
I don't even like posting my kids and I'll take

(50:32):
it off, but I don't even because I don't even
like posting my kids because this is social media.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
For one, because said that your man should not be
liking other pictures. No little I like that either, you know,
But I'm gonna be honest, like that's.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
Never choose to do that. I used to grab my gears.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
I'm trying to give you all free because we got men.
I know men, so I know what we're thinking. I
know why we do things we do.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
I would I would see a random girl on my
Explorer page and I would like, Oh, she's cute, let
me see and I would look and then it'd be
like my man in her life, and I'm just like
and then I will look to see if he's following her,
and it's like, he's not following her.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
And then imagine if he ain't posting you, then he.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Wasn't posting me. This is not this is not my
current relationship.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
This is good now.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
I'm saying though, for people that are going through it,
they're heart in other women's pictures and then they the
women go to their page because they think they're attractive, want.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
To talk to a guy who likes pictures like Chris.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
A lot of women like your posts, yeah right, And.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
I think a lot of men disagree because they don't
want to hold themselves acount.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
And a lot of men do not like you.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
No, but you'll be surprised if you go to my inbox,
you'll see how many men like yo Chris, I really
and it'd be a lot of I'm gonna start doing
some podcasts with some men that are the mature men
that really kind of relate to what I'm talking about.
Men reach out like, Yo, Chris, I appreciate what you're saying.
You're holding me accountable. Men that don't like, I'm not
saying anything crazy. I'm not saying anything that's not that.
I don't feel like I'm saying anything that's outlandis. I'm

(51:57):
just speaking from a very traditional point.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
And I love it, Like and I've used your some
of your content on my Way Up with Angela Ye's
show at a certain time. I actually heard that, Yeah no,
because I like that, Like I enjoy relationship talk and
I like to hear. But you know, some men would
be like, oh, he's just trying to kid it. You
know what. So many men that are so negative towards women.

(52:20):
There's so many men, in my personal opinion, are but
hurt because they're first crushing third grade like Timmy instead
of them, and they carry this on with them and
they bash women and they put women down. And that's
not the only reason. They have multiple reasons why they
feel like they're superior to women, and they have to
put women down in order to feel better about themselves.
And I feel like you definitely don't give that. And

(52:40):
those men who feel that way look at you like, oh,
you a sellout, or or you only saying it because
you're trying to get the girls on your side.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
People don't realize. So, Derek Jackson, I was doing this.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
I was.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
I was the card videos that you that you see
people doing with the relationship. If you go back to
my Facebook, I started all that.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
That was me.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
Don't do that. The boy he kind of blew up.
He kind of blew up before me and did his
own thing. And I'm not trying to take any credit
from him. I don't know his situation. I don't, I don't,
I don't really care.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
I'm just saying, but doing best something I've been very
passionate about because this is something that my father and
my mother spoke into me.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
Yes it works, yes it does well, but that's not
the whole meaning behind this. I feel like this is
my purpose. This is what God wants me. God wants
me to speak on healthy relationships. I feel like I
have a niche, not just a niche for this, but
a blessing to do this.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
But I want you to be to speak on it
or be an example of.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
All of it. How many negative messages out there? And
I'm ready for the fire. People look at me crazy.
Oh he's a he's a simp. Oh he's a square.

Speaker 4 (53:44):
I don't not care about Derek ja now.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
I mean, I.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
Was going to bring it up, and I'm glad you did.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
I just kept.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
I was going to ask you, like, how did that?

Speaker 2 (53:56):
How did what he did being what you're doing and
it's similar, you know, and what happened with him? Because
I'm not gonna lie I was tight because I used
to listen to that, like you know, I used to
listen to him.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
I never felt it though I feel it from you, right,
but I never felt it did genuineness.

Speaker 4 (54:15):
How did it affect your business?

Speaker 2 (54:16):
Because regardless you may be different, it is I feel him,
but it had to have some type of effect.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
I think this is not a bit like this is. Yes,
I might build it and be successful, but I'm a businessman,
like I have properties, I have other investments. This isn't
my main nich. This is the niche that I feel
like God.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
It's more of a hind contial hustle.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
You know what I'm saying. Like, I'm not here for
the for the glam. You're not gonna see me pull
up in here with everything name. But that's not my style.
I'm a very simple man. Like I'm very simple, I'm
very traditional from a small town, and I will always
stick no matter where I go with this. I'm always
gonna stick to my values and you're gonna see that.
I'm never gonna change. I'm never gonna be any different.

Speaker 4 (54:52):
All right.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Well, that is the end a Part one of lip
Service with a Relationship Coach Chris GQ Perry answering questions
from myself, from Laura Mora, from gg McGuire, from Stephanie Santiago,
and next week we'll have some more questions, plus we
will have some responses and answers to those questions from
some guys. So y'all tune in for that, because you

(55:14):
know what, we can't just hear one side of the story.
Lip Service Part two with Relationship Coach GQ Perry coming
next week.