But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think.

In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it reveals about masculinity, performance, and emotional repression.

Together, they unpack:
• The “...

From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how capitalism convinced us we’re machines, and why even therapy isn’t safe from performance culture. Tog...

 From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power. With stories about awkward meetings, parenting, and fragile masculinity, they explore:
• Why ...

 In this special guest episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Oliver Niehaus to explore why so many men and boys are being pulled into the Manosphere.

From red pill influencers to anti-intellectual rants and fragile masculinity, we unpack:
• Why the manosphere sells grievance disguised as growth
• How patriarchy harms men — and why they struggle to admit it
• The role of loneliness, algor...

In this thought-provoking episode, Kristin and Laura ask why women’s joy so often gets dismissed as “basic.” From Taylor Swift fandoms to fantasy novels, they unpack the deep psychological roots of how gendered taste is constructed—and why we feel guilty for what we love.

They dive into:
• Why "guilty pleasures" are a feminist issue
• The Enlightenment origins of the gender binary
• How cul...

In this episode, Kristin and Laura take a psychological deep dive into Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that explores how one teenage boy ends up committing an unthinkable act. But instead of focusing on who did it, the show—and this conversation—asks why.

Together, we explore:

• What incel culture is and how boys are drawn into it

• The role of social media, masculinity myths, a...

From Yorkie bars to Olympic podiums, women in sport have always faced more than just the competition. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how sport has been systematically shaped to exclude women — and how this exclusion is still happening today.

From overt bans in the 20th century to TikTok trolls and pay gaps in 2025, we unpack:

• Why women were banned from football and basketba...

From bicycles to boardrooms, women’s progress has always triggered backlash.

In this episode, Kristin and Laura trace a powerful throughline across 140 years of history — showing how each leap forward for women has been met with a push to drag them back.

We unpack:

• Why “bicycle face” was invented to stop women riding freely

• How 1950s housewives were drugged into compliance

• The flap...

Is it burnout, is it capitalism, or are you just lazy? (Spoiler: it’s not the last one.)

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack what motivation actually is — and why we keep expecting ourselves to push through exhaustion like it’s a personal failure. Guided by Self-Determination Theory (SDT), they explore:

• The difference between high vs low quality motivation

• Why guilt and shame d...

In this episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Amy and Jen to unpack their latest books Myths of Sport Performance and Women Working in Sport.

From gender bias in coaching to the emotional toll of surviving male-dominated spaces, we explore:

• Why performance myths won’t die — and who profits when they stay alive • The gap between academia and social media “truths”

• What’s missing fro...

It’s our holiday party and we’re breaking down the science (and the BS) of New Year’s resolutions — all while sipping wine, comparing tattoos, and trying not to set anything on fire.

In this festive-but-serious episode, Kristin and Laura explore:
• Why so many resolutions fall apart by February
• How to make goals that actually work for you
• The psychology behind outcome, process, and ope...

In this follow-up to our general burnout episode, Kristin and Laura explore what burnout looks like through a neurodivergent lens — and why it so often goes unrecognised, misdiagnosed, or misunderstood.

Between chaotic mornings, ADHD hyperfocus, executive dysfunction, and autistic masking, we unpack:
• What autistic and ADHD burnout really feel like
• The difference between executive dysf...

We were going to do something light and fun. But then… we remembered we’re burnt out.

In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the complex emotional, physical, and political layers of burnout — not just as a personal feeling, but as a symptom of the systems we live in. Between rainbow sightings, chaotic dog farts, and some very real science, we unpack:
• What burnout really is (and why...

Why do we blame ourselves for things that aren’t really our fault?

In this deeply human (and deeply caffeinated) episode, Kristin and Laura explore the socioecological model — a powerful psychological framework that explains how our personal struggles are shaped by the people, places, and politics around us. With stories about concussion panic, dog therapy, sport sexism, and burnout, we...

Is it anxiety? Is it burnout? Or are you just human in a broken world?

In this vulnerable and wide-ranging episode, Kristin and Laura dive deep into what mental health really means — and why it’s often confused with mental illness. Through personal stories, psychology frameworks, and way too many Twilight references, they unpack:
• The difference between mental health, mental illness &am...

From silent meetings to shouty comment sections, what makes some spaces feel safe — and others, like you can’t speak at all?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the concept of psychological safety — not just as a corporate buzzword, but as a critical piece of being human. Rooted in decades of research and personal experience, they explore:
• What psychological safety really means (...

In Part 2 of our Halloween series, we move from broomsticks to boardrooms — exploring how the witch trials never truly ended. Kristin and Laura dive into how the image of the witch morphed into modern misogyny, media tropes, and political smear campaigns.

From Sabrina the Teenage Witch to Hillary Clinton, we unpack:

• How "witch" became a slur for powerful women

• Why women still fear be...

TW: This episode contains mentions/discussions around difficult topics such as death, sexual assault, and assault more broadly.

Why were witches really hunted — and why does it still matter today? In this Halloween special of But Why: Real talk on messy minds and messier systems, psychologists Kristin and Laura explore the history of witch trials through a feminist and socio-political le...

TW: This episode discusses potentially distressing topics such as sexism and related topics (e.g., harassment or assault)

 

Why does sexism still feel so damn relentless in 2024? In this episode of But Why: Real talk on messy minds and messier systems, psychologists Kristin and Laura unpack ambivalent sexism — the sneaky blend of benevolent and hostile sexism that keeps gender roles tigh...