SOME OF THE ALAN COX SHOW 10/17

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following contest to be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Funny things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Jim me Cox all the time?

Speaker 2 (00:08):
What Cox? A Coxshow?

Speaker 4 (00:10):
Kicksh Man, Welcome, Welcome, show.

Speaker 5 (00:12):
Me what you go?

Speaker 6 (00:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:14):
I can see a lot of cocks on TV. Allen
Cox from the Allan Cox Show.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I don't know what's about you by the canon stander.

Speaker 7 (00:20):
I think this will be a great So let's tick
Coxe get that Yoka take it with.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
A tasty group. Okay, what do three kicks?

Speaker 6 (00:31):
Take it?

Speaker 8 (00:32):
Tom got damn pout you one time?

Speaker 6 (00:35):
Take it.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Allen Cox.

Speaker 5 (00:38):
Here we go.

Speaker 6 (00:38):
He'll add time.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven double.

Speaker 6 (00:43):
U m ms.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Hello is this even?

Speaker 8 (00:56):
It?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Sure is?

Speaker 3 (00:58):
What's up? Tom? Hey man?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I was just calling to say that fifty four rockstar
years got nothing on Ethan in thirty five.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
I mean, well, this is what I was gonna say.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yeah, fifty seven is when John Aht Whistle died performing
many of the same Shenanigans that our boy Ethan at
thirty five performs there in the classy metropolis of Rochester,
New York. So are you calling to defend your and
you need know you don't need to defend yourself to me,
I consider myself a libertine of the highest order Ethan.

(01:33):
But are you calling to publicly defend yourself? I wouldn't
say necessarily that, but a couple couple of them are
pretty pretty wild stories. And one of them's kind of said, actually,
they're not all crazy fun times, I suppose. So I
had alcohol poisoning when I was a teenager. I had
a I think it was a point three eight from

(01:56):
mister Boston's hundred Proof.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Wait is this one of the sad ones or one
of the fun ones?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's that?

Speaker 9 (02:02):
Well?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
That was that was one of it was fun until
it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Yeah, well everything is yep.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
The The other one is I cut my right arm
off when I was thirty three, had to have it
fully reattached. Wait wait wait, wait wait you cut your
arm off way wait wait wait, you have had your
arm reattached. Correct. The word they used was internal decapitation.
The only thing holding it together was the skin on
the elbow. I'm playing them on Saturday night rob On

(02:30):
two hours to midnight Internal Decapitation. I'll be listening to
it for sure, I thought, I thought that I thought
the term obviously, I'm no, I'm no physician, but I
thought the term decapitation referred specifically to the cranium. You
could be very correct. I'm like I said, this was
a couple of years ago. Sure, So I just very

(02:53):
distinctly remembered that coming out and being like, oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Was this an industrial accident? Ethan?

Speaker 2 (03:01):
I was helping a family friend remove windows, right, remember
the old farmhouse windows with the window weights. Yeah, and
the well, the pain came out, and it came down
kind of like a guillotine and called me in the
crotch of my of my elbow. It went all the
way to the bone, went through both tendons, went through.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
The what his artery?

Speaker 6 (03:21):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, And the only thing that was holding it together
was the uh the this the skin on the opposite
side of the elbow. I lost what pints? Pints? Is
how much blood is the body your leaders? If you're
getting really in bad shape? Yeah, I lost three pints
of blood. I had to have a blood transfusion and

(03:42):
emergency surgery on my right arm. They told me I'd
never working. I mean, I've been a tigwell there my
whole life. So I ever work again, I'd never write, son,
you'll never masturbate again. And he said, I'll show you.
I'll be blowing rails off of off of Latina Grande
kuloh and no time flat. Listen, bud, let me tell you.

(04:05):
Learning how to wipe with your left hand not particularly pleasant.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
That was probably the least of your worries.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Well yeah, yeah, Well, and the other one is I
hanged myself when I was thirty one years old in
his brain dead for about three minutes, so wow, but
he lived to tell the tale. This is a guy
who has cut off more connections to blood and oxygen
than anyone you will meet.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
In a current day. Look at you.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that was after my father committed suicide when I
was twenty one, my brother overdose when he was when
I was twenty five, and my best friend hanged himself
at twenty seven. And you haven't learned through.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
Anyone anyone else. Rob would have given up on all
of the crazy behavior. Not Ethan.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
He goes, this isn't slowing me down at all. I'm
doubling down in it. Gotta live you gotta live life.

Speaker 6 (05:01):
Man.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
You're surrounded by all this death and destruction. You got
to live life on your terms. That's precisely it, and
it it's it sounds silly to say, you know, but
I heard somewhere a long time ago, and I know
it's absolutely not correct and this is not factual. But
if you the brain only has a certain amount of

(05:23):
room for memories, and if your brain's all filled with
crappy ones, well why can't you refill them with fun ones?
So minor all snorting tutors and fill them up. You know,
Ethan's out there going tutor to Cooter boy. He does
not tutors.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Good for you.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Wow, I knew some of that, but I didn't know
the arm thing, bro. So you're like kind of frank
and signed together and telling the tale. Oh yeah, yeah.
My left hand was crushed pretty bad too on that
on the gravitron as a matter of fact. Uh, that
had to get surgery and bones were through the skin.

(06:00):
And then I've had I had some bouts with Merca
a handful of times too, So so yeah, I'm both's
pretty my body's pretty beaten up.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
So that's where you were a Carney, right, I was, Yeah,
from nineteen to twenty four.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, and let me tell you I'm sorry, Rob, it's
amusement event attendant, dimissive and rude. Actually, I prefer Carney.
I think amusement sounds pretty brky. But but yeah, let
me tell you though. This is at the time frame
before everything had kind of went down with Russia. We

(06:37):
were kind of cool with them, and we would get
college students that would come from Russia to America and
all they wanted to do was drink and eat ecstasy
by the handful. And I was their man. We sa
go and pick it up. But I'm telling we pick
it up for pennies on the dollar and just go.
But nanas for pennies on the ruble. Rob, he's out there.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Boy.

Speaker 10 (06:59):
You must, you must stalk to my boy Ethan. He have,
he have one arm and half a foot, but his
ecstasy pills are second to none.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
You will not believe the amount of rails we call him.

Speaker 10 (07:17):
Of this young man tooth to snoother to Couther and
never looks back.

Speaker 6 (07:25):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
I love it, Okay, I love it, man. Thank you?

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well, Yeah, take care, but you take care. Want to
tell me tell me to take care?

Speaker 3 (07:35):
You take care? N anybody else would have given up
a long time ago.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
I do like that meant that philosophy of you got
brains full of bad memories replaced them with good ones.

Speaker 6 (07:48):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Yes, I'm gonna pick up coin we only got.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
We only have one trip around this crazy blue marble
rob and you gotta make a count. Speaking of shots,
by the way, and I did a lot in Austin,
when did they get so goddamn big? I know I do.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Everything's bigger in Texas.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
But like when I order a shot of something and
I realize it does vary, You're not getting it in
a glass shot glass anymore, which I don't mind.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Back in the day, you'd get the shot glass. Why don't.
Why not?

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Now it's like they give you a Rocks glass with
like legit, three fingers of booze in it. I'm like, wow,
I don't need all that because it's gonna be like
a night right. I like, well, I haven't seen shot
glasses in a long time. I know I'm used to
seeing like the Rocks class, but not I mean legit,

(08:41):
because I'm like, it's gonna be a night we're hanging
out a handful of us. I'm like shots, but if
you're gonna go three fingers deep on these shots. I'm like, guys,
you know I didn't order a glen livett neat the
shots got really big.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, I just want I yearned for the day of
the thick glass shot glass, same the white.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Line across the top.

Speaker 6 (09:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
Hey, if someone was buying me a drink upside down,
at would go in front of you. That's what I
have in my house. I have glass shot glasses.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
I miss those. I want those back. I'm sure there
are places that have them. You know, if you're gonna
get a boiler maker or something, I know that's kind
of hold timey, but or whatever you want right is
shot that goes into a bigger drink. You're using traditional
shot glasses. So I don't know if maybe places are like, well,
we're gonna charge him more, so let's at least give
them a little bit more. I don't know, but holy cow,

(09:37):
I'm like, I can go pretty hard on any given night.
But if it's gonna be that, it ain't gonna be
that hard. Let me see here, Duke has been calling
us a lot. Duke has thoughts.

Speaker 9 (09:54):
Hey, Alan, it's Duke from Bay Village. I bought a
shirt and some nickwere from eBay and it used to
belong to a guy from the Mamas and the Papas.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, all the sleeves.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Are brown and the tie is great.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Walk he does anything over walk?

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Oh, Rob, that duke, I'll tell you what. He's out
there in Bay Village. He and I are breathing the
same air. All the sleeves were brown and they're gray.
Oh my god, all the how many sleeves are there?
He said, all the sleeves were brown, I mean most suits, Rob,

(10:38):
you top out it too, Yeah, I mean Ethan was
potentially down an arm.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Maybe Duke is up one.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
If this guy's rocking an extra appendage, I'm not aware
of the north of the border I should say, didn't share.
And what a contempt piary reference.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
By the way, I mean just.

Speaker 6 (11:05):
Radio.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Here's music you should know, Rob gall.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
That's what you get for trying to play something I know.
I didn't know if it was a Mama's in the
Papas drummer or by the way, don't tell me what
I should know. You're my employer. Don't tell me what
I should know, right, I mean, I guess they could
tell me what I should know.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
But music you should know what you don't know what
I should know. It's so new, we're going to introduce
it to you. What if I already knew it? What
if I showed it to you?

Speaker 5 (11:43):
Proving what one man can achieve with an utter lack
of charisma?

Speaker 3 (11:48):
One it's great a chess.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Alan Cox, Bridget Linton from your Cleveland Browns in for
Mary Today?

Speaker 3 (11:59):
Did you determine what your favorite romedy comedy is? You know,
it's tough. There's a lot of good ones.

Speaker 8 (12:05):
We discussed one that we did not mention though beforehand,
that we talked about in the break Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
That's a great one.

Speaker 8 (12:11):
That one, it's up there. And then the two that
are very similar movies, but they're not. There is no
strings attached in just fronts, which is so weird because
me Lakun is an Ashton coutcher. They are the stars
in each of them, but not together. But they're merely
in real life.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
And what Timberlake and Netlie Portman and those are female
leads in those Yep, I never saw either of them.
That's crazy, Well is it? That's probably a little bit
of a younger movie for me too, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 6 (12:36):
Like cool?

Speaker 2 (12:38):
You lazy, you guys aren't obsessed with romedy comedies. I'm like, wait,
huh huh. I mean you're a twenty six year old female. Yep,
I'm a fifty three year old female, and I might
watch different kinds of movies. What's your favorite genre of movies?

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Poor?

Speaker 6 (12:55):
No?

Speaker 4 (12:56):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah makes sense?

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:58):
Poor like the pornugs.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
No, I've tried to. They are all these classic movies
I never saw now, largely in the seventies, you know
what they called at the time, like this amazing age
of cinema in the seventies. You had all these amazing
directors that were just getting going and putting out these
amazing movies.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
And so I really got on this kick. Not like
I have a lot of time, but I really got
in this kick.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Was like, I'm gonna watch like these classic sixties, late sixties,
seventies movies I've never seen. So I'm thinking like Bullet
with Steve McQueen and Serpico with al Pacino. But some
of these movies are so goddamn slow, dude that I'm like, Wow,
the pacing was.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
So different back then, and I'm like, I really some
of them are great.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
I watched Three Days of the Condor with Robert Redford,
one of those like CIA spy movies.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
That movie's great, but I tried watching Dude Bullet.

Speaker 11 (13:52):
It is one that like I want to love that
movie and there are moments where you're like, oh, I
get it, but it is slow and he like he's
supposed to be so cool, but he just really comes
across as addicta.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yes, like it's it's just a different time, and it
was really it's that movie's famous for the chase scene
obviously in the car, but like the scene where they
they're hiding the guy in the safe house in the
apartment and they call down and there's another guy. I'm like,
oh my god, this thing is taking forever.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
And what was the first was it just Dirty Harry?
Was that what it's called. It was called Magnum Force.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
I think was the first Dirty Harry movie, and then
the sequels had Dirty Okay, well.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Whichever the one is, like the.

Speaker 11 (14:39):
The first one where he's chasing the serial killer around
San Francisco and there's this big chase scene in there,
like in a mill.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
Sorry, Dirty Harry was the first.

Speaker 11 (14:49):
Dirty Hair was the first one, and you know, like
there's scenes that are he's chasing this guy and they're
like going up a conveyor bell and it's the lamest thing.

Speaker 6 (15:02):
You've ever seen.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Right, But back then it was crazy, yes, but in
this they're like, we're gonna make them up to convey Yeah, in.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Nineteen seventy one, that was the hiding suspense, but an action.
They have The Tim Burton Batman in theaters this weekend,
so I'm gonna see that.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
I haven't seen that.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
It came out on my eighteenth birthday, and I don't
think i've seen it in the theater since. Last time
I watched that was at the Playoff Square. No, not
Playoffs Square, but it was awesome sex and not sex
and him.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Uh, sex and hymen? What are you talking about? Are
you having his throng?

Speaker 2 (15:33):
I almost said Saxonheim Hall, but it's a different place.
Where's where the burlesque happens?

Speaker 11 (15:37):
Yeah, where's the one where the Cleveland Orchestra plays Severance
Severance Hall. I saw it they played along with it
at Severns Hall and that was phenomenal.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
Yeah, I think you have audio of it. I'm sorry
what I think you have audio of it?

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (15:54):
Of the Batman?

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra playing a lot with classic
Danny Elfmon theme. Oh, bridget, you know you miss a minute,

(16:19):
you miss a lot, You can't Service Hall had a
little collaboration with Chipotle that day, said, Taco Bell sponsored
the whole thing. Well, there's no way we could end
the show without some part noises.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yeah, get there, I mean we could have.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
But now that, now that you've brought it to my attention,
how about a Chewbacca part?

Speaker 3 (16:38):
You know who Chewbacca is? Yeah, I know that's a
nice one. That was good.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
It really does sound like I don't like that one.
She's surprised, that's what I don't like that one. You
can just rate these for me. Oh, I don't like
that one. Reaction you joke That one comes at you quick.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
God.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Oh that one's just loud. Yeah, that's just like a
classic part right there.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Oh that's got a lot of different tones to a
lot of different flavors.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, like h like that you said flavors. Well you
know it's yeah, you've heard bills in the stairwells?

Speaker 7 (17:35):
Do you have it?

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Like, Yeah, that's him in the stairwell of his building.

Speaker 8 (17:42):
Yeah that's good and forget so were you like holding
it in like Okay, now I gotta record this is
I know it's going to be really loud.

Speaker 11 (17:47):
And really like I would just take the stairs down
every morning on the way to gym, and there would
be so many good family you know.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
I started recording these and I did.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
It's something about the staircase, he said, just think she
a little gassy.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
No, no, it's just like right when you wake up,
are great? Yeah, you just when I wake up. I
don't know, I'm gassing in the morning.

Speaker 11 (18:09):
And so I'd be walking and then like there's something
about like going down the steps would kind of rattle
them out, and then the acoustics in there take something.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
The listener sent me one from his garage. Yeah, oh
my gosh, the length of it seen in Step Brothers.
It just keeps going. I taste it.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
Now, this seem kind of f up.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Honestly, that's my probably my favorite movie of all time
Step Brothers.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Oh mm hmmm, I don't like that one. She gets
it's like the witness, the witness in the in the
echo of the bowl. Yes, yeah, that's very close quarters
for something that powerful. All right, Oh.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Wow, she really can't She's all over the place.

Speaker 8 (19:12):
I don't like a big like that one just sounds
like someone she really is. The last one I didn't
like it. You can tell the person's not wearing underwear, you.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Know, just sound they're not all right. It's just like
the bare cheeks letting that one out. Don't like it?

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Okay, geez, that's the three piece combo right there. I've
never played what did you do today?

Speaker 5 (19:41):
Well?

Speaker 2 (19:41):
I had a very professional shoe the Brown Stadium. And
then I came in the oncoc show and listened to
the clip of the Swedish news anchor who farts live
on the air.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Have you heard that?

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (20:00):
And then she laughs herself to break whoa, right, how
about that one?

Speaker 6 (20:06):
Now?

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Under where we're no one playing it? That's bare bottom?
Is that might be bare bottom?

Speaker 12 (20:13):
Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Oh, that's that gets here every time. It's the toilet. Whoa,
Oh my gosh, is that weird?

Speaker 2 (20:26):
That like those? Oh boy, anyway, we're having fun, Come on,
they really are okay AnyWho oh yeah, we forgot. People
have been leaving messages for talk. They're enjoying talk like

(20:48):
a pirate day. Have been playing it. Here be one
eyed Willie and my two large cannon balls Trump twenty four.
We're all shooting two big balls into your houses. Your
dumb some pictures, you dumb. Okay, gay homosexuals, all right,

(21:15):
double You know what I say to that.

Speaker 13 (21:20):
Wis a hole in the bottom of my bot.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
There's a hole in the bottom of my bot. There's
a hole. There's a hole.

Speaker 13 (21:27):
There's a hole in the bottom of my bod. Wires up,
poo in the hole in the bottom of my bod.
There's a pool in the hole in the bottom of
my bod.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
There's a pooh. There's a poo.

Speaker 13 (21:35):
There's a poo in the hole in the bottom of
my boobod. Where's a porn in the pool in the
hole in thet.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
Anyway, you know, they tell you your audience will find you.
You don't have to worry about anything. You'll draw the
audience you deserve, all right. Celebrities died while we were gone,
and some of them more well known than others, of course.

(22:01):
Jimmy Carter died, Linda Lavin died, Ricky Henderson died. But
I left one person out, and I always again, not
a famous person, I guess, perhaps famous for one thing.
In certain circles, when the oldest person in the world dies.
It's bittersweet because on the one hand, they've lived what

(22:23):
you hope was a long and fruitful life. On the
other hand, they're passing bumps somebody else up.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
That's how I think of it. So now there is
a new oldest person in the world. I don't know
who that is.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
If history is any guide, they're probably Japanese.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I believe it's a nun, a bride of Christ, a
bride of Christ, a nun of a nunn aree.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
The world's oldest person was a Japanese woman named Timiko Atuka,
and she Atuka a dirt nap at one hundred and
sixteen years old. She died in a nursing home. Imagine
she could have conceivably been in this nursing home for

(23:10):
a quarter century. She had four children. I'll tell you
what think about this one hundred and sixteen years old Japanese.
She only had four kids and five grandchildren. Wow. I mean,
Japan is a country that is desperately trying to reverse
the negative birth rate trend.

Speaker 6 (23:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
You see all kinds of stories about Japanese men can't
talk to women. Is a very strange culture. Mike's wife
lived in Tokyo for many years. Very strange culture. She
was engaged to a Japanese man before I met her.
This woman, the late Tamiko Atuka, died at one hundred
and sixteen years old. Oh, she'd only lived in the

(23:56):
nursing home for five years. She went in to the
nursing home at one hundred eleven. Jesus, hey, you got
any room for my grandma?

Speaker 7 (24:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (24:05):
How old is she?

Speaker 2 (24:06):
One hundred eleven? She was born four months before the
Ford Model T was.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Launched in the United States. Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah, this is the current oldest woman now is a
nun from Brazil. But I feel I feel wow. Yeah,
she's one hundred and seventeen as well, and by the
looks of it, she will not be the world's oldest
person for very long.

Speaker 6 (24:33):
Well.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Wait, if she's one hundred and seventeen and this one
was one hundred and sixteen, then that woman was already older.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
I'm just did just reading what it says.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
World's oldest person identified as one hundred and seventeen year
old nun who loves soccer?

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Is this Maria bronyas Morera because she died in August?

Speaker 2 (24:50):
No?

Speaker 3 (24:51):
Okay, sister Ina Conna Borrow.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Okay, Yeah, well the mayor of the where this woman
lived is twenty seven years old. This woman was the
oldest person in the world after Maria bronyas Morera of
Spain died this past August. Yeah, so you really, You're
only holding the crown for a couple of months, right,

(25:19):
So now it's a Brathelian nun.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
She is one sixteen. The headline on Fox News is wrong.
It says one hundred and seventeen year old nun. Yeah,
but the other one Yahoo and New York posts say
Brazilian nun is now the oldest person in the world
at one sixteen.

Speaker 8 (25:32):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Tamiko Atuca died in Japan at one hundred and sixteen
as a student.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
As a younger woman, she played volleyball.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
In her older age, she enjoyed bananas and kalpis not
calcis just you written, but always go what's your secret
to longevity? I liked bananas and.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Cow piss.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
No kalpis clpi s a popular Japanese milky soft drink
got the Japanese so goddamn weird. I guess you use
what's around right, You're on an island, A milky soft drink.
How can these people kill it with the kit kats

(26:28):
and then turn around and they got centenarians drinking milky pop.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
I like milky pop not pronouncedalpis?

Speaker 6 (26:39):
Right?

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Could I have an hour tall glass? Is it served cold? No?

Speaker 6 (26:47):
No? No?

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Hot?

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Kalpis is what I enjoy.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Clpis. I wonder if you could get this on one
of those you know how you get like international foods.
It's a Japanese non carbonated drink. So it's flat, sweet
and tangy with a slightly acidic flavor. So it's not bubbly,
it's slightly acidic, and it has a milky consistency.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
It sounds disgusting, but I want to try it now.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
It's made through a two stage fermentation process and it's
sold in North America, probably Canada. There are a lot
of Japanese expats in Canada where it's sold as Kalpico shopping.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
It tastes similar to plain vanilla yogurt.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
All right, well, there you go. But it is a
wildly popular Japanese milk beverage.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
See. I don't drink milk other than in cereal.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
So if they were like, hey, do you want a
hot glass of kalpis.

Speaker 12 (27:53):
I go.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Every time you see it. Yeah, I mean we could
get it on Amazon. We should try it. Yeah, that's it.
I mean it looks like you can get.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Now there's strawberry great Walmart dot Com ooh, you can
get a variety mango, white peach, of course leechi because
it's Japanese leechi and strawberry. Oh god, a four pack
is one hundred and ten dollars.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
I don't want that.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
They have much cheaper like Walmart dot COM's got like
thirty three bucks. Avolve anyway, Imagine if this is the secret,
because you have to think, what do they always say
if you're really serious about your health? And people in
Japan largely have great diets because you eat a lot
of fish and fresh vegetables and things like that. So
it's no secret that these people live a long long time.

(28:43):
But and they always say, hey, food that is good
for you is not necessarily going to taste good.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
It's the things that taste the.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Best that are the worst for you processed, and it's
wires your brain to want more of it. At least
brain is wired to want more kalpis. But imagine if
that's see. It's perfect for somebody like me who doesn't
eat out of enjoyment. I eat out of maintenance. So
when they go, hey, eat this, you know, I'd be like, fine,

(29:12):
I don't care eat it, and I have to love it.
It's to keep me healthy.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
So yeah, there it is.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Brazilian nune Ena kinda borrow Lucas is now one hundred
and sixteen and is now the oldest person in the world.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
They're in Brasil.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
I'm just really happy you cleared up the countless thing
and explain what it is, because if it really does
work and I was drinking cow piss, that would be
a much different diet.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
I would assume, Rob.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Did you get that case of cow piss I sent you?
Now put ice in it.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
I haven't eaten in three weeks. Now, this thing's working great.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
I'm going to live to one hundred and ten. So yeah,
that is what your bananas and the milky Japanese drink.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
Taking the nation by storm. I have to buy some calpus.
You'll drink it? Oh yeah, all right, yep, meeltics wig,
I'm buying it.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
I've done a shot of my own pee, right, so
I will absolutely drink Calpus, the milky, uncarbonated Japanese soft drink.
All right, there's probably somewhere locally that over in Asia town.
I bet they sell this somewhere. It's like when I
used to live around the corner as in Chicago where
I can in Cleveland, I used to live around the

(30:34):
corner from Bodega, and that's the only place you'd find
like alo juice. Right, A lot of Latina neighborhoods very
very popular, a lot of Alo yellow juice and other
you know.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Yeah, it looks like the brand name is Kalpico.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
So if they're in North America, yeah, yeah, all right,
I mean Japanese flavored. You Who is what people are
referring to it. I mean maybe, yeah, I mean that's
the best you can hook for it up.

Speaker 6 (31:00):
You Who.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
I don't think there's any dairy in you who?

Speaker 6 (31:04):
You know?

Speaker 2 (31:05):
You Who was like right after I got divorced, my breakfast,
you know, I was on the air at six, I'm
out until three. My breakfast for you know a good
nine months was combos and you Who. And I don't
think there's any dairy in you Who. It's like water
and chocolate powder.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
Was the last time you had one of those you.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Who, I couldn't tell you, and theoretically I love them,
but I have not had a you who in I
couldn't tell you.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
How long we should get one of each of these.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
And then taste test them against each other and see
if cowpits or or you you who's a better drink.

Speaker 14 (31:45):
Allen Cox Show, one.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Cleveland member.

Speaker 6 (31:59):
Our device are always listening to us.

Speaker 15 (32:02):
We are, so if you start to see ads for
squeezy salads and wiener milk, you know who to blame.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Allens Show, w m MS. Even Brian was calling in
about baseball. This guy never talks about sports.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Brian third.

Speaker 6 (32:22):
Third base.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
One and the Weasel needs a brief back. I remember
third base? Yeah, Oh, pop goes the Weasels. The whole
song is built on a sample of Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel.
That song was only a couple of years old when
this came out, so that was a little bit of
a misdirex. I don't know if Brian was actually calling
about baseball or about Pop Goes the Weasel.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
I don't know. Normally he would sing the song he
was thinking of.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Ell, there's a ball player with the last name Canyon
arroware row.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
No Junior Camonaro is the guy that the.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Then Indians I think I think they were still the
Indians grabbed him and traded him a waves in Tampa.
He's hitting homers off of the team that he should
have been playing for. Obviously, hindsight is twenty twenty. But
what are you gonna do when you aren't scoring any
runs at all? Everything's up for grabs. Yeah, there's a
lot of finger pointing. Unfortunately, that finger pointing is not

(33:30):
pointing to where they're going to hit the home run.
There's no bay Ruth situation going on out there.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
I think I think we're maybe downplaying the gambling situation
a bit much too well. I there's a lot to
be said for the morale of a team when like
two of your guys are dicking around like that and
really screwing you.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Absolutely correct, but they are outnumbered by a whole bunch
of other guys who weren't doing that for sure, and
so listen, those are two big losses, and yeah, that
sucks me.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
One of the best closers in baseball can't play because
he was gambling a leeged like like, I don't know, man,
it's not a good place to be.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
It doesn't do much for the a spree to corps
as it were. So what's that? The a spree to corps?

Speaker 2 (34:16):
Rob, the the morale, the Spiritkay, thank you, thank you?

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Uh huh, yes, thank you. Alan.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
I thought Rob's breaking news was going to be that
your mom.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Was engaged your ma? Why would that be Rob's breaking news?
Would be kind of funny if she told me first,
Oh my god, Hi, Rob.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Could you forward a message talent for me?

Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, of course, he's sitting right across from me. Okay,
well I do want him to know.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Could you tell him that he's about to have a
ten foot tall half brother, not even half. Oh my god,
if he was ten feet tall, if he was a foot.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
I tell you crazy.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Oh, it's like when Costanza found the titleist. That kid
was gonna toss me like a cork. Maybe Brian was
referencing the old who's on first bit? You think you
think from the the one from the nineteen twenties, The
Abbot and Costello.

Speaker 9 (35:30):
Is a third.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Third listen man, his comic timing is unparallel. That's why
I went with Pop Goes the Weasel, because maybe he
was referring to who's on first? Is that a bit
you can still do? I mean, forget the fact that
it's super corny, it's very old. It did represent the
height of comedic timing at the time. Yep, I'm saying

(35:55):
in the context of because it did have racial not racist.
It had racial undertones, right, well, the jokes were all
made to sound like Asian, who's on first? What's on second?

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Maybe not? Maybe just those Yeah, I think I could
probably I've seen that a lot.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Like my grandfather, we would watch that Abbitt Neil abbittt
Costillo's all the time.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Okay, So in answer to Brian's question, I don't know
is on third? I don't know. I still don't know,
because he didn't. I kind of did it there a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Costello thinks that the first basement is named Naturally. You
throw the ball the first base, and who gets it?

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Naturally?

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Naturally?

Speaker 3 (36:42):
Now you've got it, I throw the ball to Naturally again.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
This is It's in the National Recording Registry at the
Library of Congress.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
That means that it's considered of high cultural value.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I'm not saying the wrong It's considered one of the
best comedy sketches of all time.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
I think they're right.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
It is part of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.
There's a gold record of it.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
And when you think about the time for something to
be written like that, I mean, it would be funny
if it was done now.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
You think, I think so, okay, I.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Mean it's wordplay. And listen, we you know you're talking
to the wrong people if you're going to piss on wordplay.
But yeah, the nineteen thirties.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
Is pretty much. It came from an older routine called
Who's the Boss?

Speaker 2 (37:31):
You know, because a lot of these guys would come
from burlesque, and so it had to be very broad.
It had to be very common. Ah, So why are
you saying that, Well, I'll tell you what I said. Well,
pants jacked up to your nips. I don't know who's
on third, Well who's on first?

Speaker 3 (37:47):
Exactly?

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Exactly. Suddenly, Oh, I'm watching Alien Earth over on FX,
and all of the synthetic humans of the first part
of the show is that they have transferred the consciousness
of termally ill children into these synthetic humans that are
super powered and blah blah blah, and they're going to

(38:10):
be used by this young man who owns this company.
He's the world's first trillionaire. Whatever, it's the shape of
things to come. It's what I'm trying to say. This
is only partly fiction, but the conceit is all of
these kids are named after characters from Peter Pan. But
it does if you forget that or don't realize it
because you never read Peter Pan, or maybe you only

(38:32):
know the main characters the Darling family, maybe you only
know you know Wendy, but there are a lot of
weird names in that book and in that play, and
so if you forget that, it's hard to follow this
show when the characters are named Lake suddenly or or
the Lost Boys. Right, there's nibs in slightly and Curly

(38:53):
and the twins.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
And so.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, they change his uh they change his
name in the in the Disney movie.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
But oh jesus, what is that my new freaking computer?

Speaker 6 (39:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:11):
Oh, I hate I hate this so much.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
I'm trying to make me please, I crash my flying machine,
flying machine? What the new computer you have in here?
Just starts playing stuff? I just yeah, out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
I'm trying to like log back into everything because everything
is gone, of course, and there's no change your pin. Okay,
what's the current pin. That's why I'm asking to change it.
You can't change it without knowing I just all of it.
I just wish there was some sort of magic button
you could just push and everything works.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
And I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
In twenty twenty five, when I carry a supercomputer, I'm like, God,
damn pocket.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
It can't be as easy as just restore old computer.
That fuck good.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Wow uh huh. All day long, I've been dealing with
this nonsense guy was supposed to call me at one
thirty to back up program the it guy.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Yeah, I'll tell you who needs I shouldn't say needs
it help. We had this thing earlier in the day
down in one of our we had this dunkin Donuts
lounge or whatever they will use for live performances, and
iHeart stuff, and we had our I don't know if
they're biannual or what, but ever so often we'll get
a lot of our advertising clients together and some people
make a presentation and they'll ask some of the talent

(40:29):
to be there. So it's me and Rover and Rob
and Bill Wills and Jeremiah from Kiss family, you know.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
All the heavies, Rob the heavy, all the heavies.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
And I'm standing up against the back wall next to Dougie,
and so we're kind of chatting as someone's giving some
presentation I don't know, and I look over and she's texting.
And I don't know what she's texting because it's not
my business. But what I do know is her text
is like twenty four point five.

Speaker 6 (40:54):
I go, what are you ninety?

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Yeah, wow? She got's not like at yours.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
I'm like, look at mine, it's like normal size font.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
That's what I have. She was like a lady.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
A few years ago, I was up in the Nosebleeds
for the Bob Seeger Farewell show at the Old Romo Fijo,
and there's a woman standing next to me who's probably
in her late sixties, you know, like in that og
Seager demo and e she went ninety. And this woman
was texting somebody, and I really didn't mean to snoop,

(41:25):
but I couldn't help it. I like looked because the
light's coming off her phone and she's got massive font
in her text, Like, Jesus, what are you playing Wheel
of Fortune over there?

Speaker 7 (41:36):
Hi?

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Takes up two lines.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Yeah, yeah, I'm like, wow, are you playing a hangman
or what's happening over there? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (41:44):
Wow? Crazy?

Speaker 2 (41:46):
I'm still using regular whatever the default font is.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
I'll be honest, I am. I am getting to the
point where I may up it a little. Really, Yeah,
we've upped our standards. I just I just feel like,
who am I? Who am I trying to impress?

Speaker 3 (42:02):
Well, not impressed. You know, if you need it, do it.
I just didn't realize that she needed it. I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
I'm not fully there, but I wear reading glasses every
day when I'm on the air, so I know that because.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
You have to read the script that I painstakingly write
every night. Yeah, what page are you on? Four? Okay,
I just get ahead on six? Why are you on six?

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I don't know, completely painstakingly write these well into the night.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Well I well into the night. I send them over
to your assistant. I had Dougie on page one. We
went off on the on the Taylor Swift thing. I'm
all messed up.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Did you hear she got engaged? She did to who Rob?

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Would you.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
How she stole that dude? That that's on page four?

Speaker 2 (42:54):
She stole that dude, that Ariana Grande stole in the
first place.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
Which one's that? I don't know the guy from the play,
No Pete Davis, No, not him, no Elan.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
On the boat on Captain Funds floating Fandango, there was
a guy using a magnifying glass to read his flip
phone up on the top deck. See that's funny. That's
like an affectation. You know, you carry it around your
neck and then you just hold it up when you're
onna read your flip phone monocle to read your texts. Yeah, way,
I might do that. That might be even better. Just

(43:31):
hold that thing up every time I get him. Get
yourself some opera glasses. Oh that see that's even that's
even more of a flex than a monocle.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
M I magine me break it.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Seem to take out this huge case every day. What
are you doing that you're gonna read a text?

Speaker 14 (43:48):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (43:48):
I've got some texts coming in. Where are my opera glasses?
Oh valet, oh valet, where are my opera glasses?

Speaker 3 (43:57):
I need to read some texts?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Oh one damn its hold on, m Bring home bread
and milk.

Speaker 9 (44:08):
Up?

Speaker 2 (44:08):
There is one mark and eggs, Bring home flour and
milk and eggs. Ma'mos making a cake. Yeah, the reading
glasses and the giant font I don't know, maybe get listen.
Make no mistake, my lasik is hanging on for dear life.

(44:31):
I've had it for all most fifteen years. They told
me it would take a crap in under ten probably
when I had it done. So it's still working just fine.
So were you near or far sighted? I was near sighted? Ok,
I had a stigmatism, so I was near sighted, but
I never had glasses I think out of vanity. But
when I first came to Cleveland, one of the first
endorsements I got was for a lasic joint down the

(44:53):
street and independence I said absolutely yes, and so it
was awesome and they were like, you know, I was
forty at the time. They were like, yeah, you kind
of get in it later and some other people. So
just the natural degradation of your eyes. This might not
last just super long. I'm still rocking. Was it a
noticeable difference as soon as you yes?

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Now what you don't want to do is watch the
lasac being done to you because the place you know,
they're thrown up in the monitor and they're like.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
Well, this is when we cut off the top layer
of your eye.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Okay, cool, no, thank you, no, thank you, and so
uh yeah, but yeah, I was like, wow, dude looking
at her phone.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
My doctor wants it's like your phone is screaming at you.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
The optometrist wants me to get bifocals because I need
a little bit of help seeing things at a distance,
like especially if I'm reading something or looking up close
and I look up, I can't see crap for a minute.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
So he's like, if you, if you get bifocals, but
they're like such tiny prescriptions. I'm like, I'm not to
hold off on this as long as I can, because
that's going to mess me all up looking at the
wrong spot. I can't see so good.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
My damn it.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
Oh my eyes is killing me. Yeah right, fine, well understood. Yeah,
well listen it.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
You know, time makes fools of us, all right, eventually,
and sometimes other people make fools of us every day
in my life, yes, and so what are you gonna do?
But yeah, it was wild. I was kind of stand
there next tour and I certainly want to make her
feel bad. I was like, wow, you have giant font
on your phone. I didn't want to make her feel bad,

(46:52):
so I brought it up on the show.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yes, well, we all talk about things, you know.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
I spent the first three years at WMMS with that
show making fun of me every day.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
So but yeah, I was like, wow, dude, for you, Yeah,
it does suck.

Speaker 6 (47:06):
Man.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
The eyes just start going, I guess. So I can't
wait for the hearing when that selective hearing thing gets go,
I can't wait.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Well, I'm working in radio for you know, Rob and
I thirty years. I mean I worked with people they
would take their headphones off and you could hear them
down the hall. They just had them cranked all the
way up. And from like the early days, I was like,
I'm not doing that. If I'm gonna have headphones on
my head every day for hours, I'm not doing that.
I'm not going to be deaf by the time of forty.

(47:35):
I always have had them on loud. I don't even
now they're pretty loud.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
No, but I don't like I can't listen to loud
things outside of work, you know what I mean, Like
if the radio is on, I never I never cranked
the radio anymore. I just kind of I like things quiet.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Well, yeah, because these the sounds, even though it's mostly talking.
We're not playing music that much, but it's like, you know,
they go right into our head. Yeah, four hours and
hours a day, So imagine having to listen to this
voice twenty four to seven. No matter what I do,
I hear this.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
Hey, could you turn that down?

Speaker 7 (48:13):
Please?

Speaker 2 (48:14):
I'm trying to Hey, Hey did you turn it down?

Speaker 3 (48:21):
Helloa? Hey? Play whoa?

Speaker 2 (48:23):
You don't have anything else you can be playing in there?

Speaker 3 (48:25):
You don't have anything? Mellow ears are bleeding? Please blow thing?
You got any what about what's his name?

Speaker 15 (48:32):
Dave Kase?

Speaker 2 (48:33):
You got Dave Posey, Kenny g anything like that?

Speaker 3 (48:36):
Oops?

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Oops, yeay.

Speaker 6 (48:48):
Ye?

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Are you doing a fantasy football thing?

Speaker 12 (48:53):
I am?

Speaker 2 (48:53):
I thought we talked about it briefly, but I couldn't
remember because.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yeah, I kind of got that thrown to the wolves
with the company league. So now I'm a commissioner of
that league.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Dietter ran it, Wait, you're the commissioner of the iHeart
Fantasy Football League.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
I sure am?

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Wow? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Hotchkiss was like, hey, what do you think? There's really
not a whole lot to it? So I said, well,
then why don't you do it?

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Wait?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
He came to you. Was thisn't an email or he
came to you in person? No, he see, they sent
me a tex Did you attacked?

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Hey? Could you do it? Why?

Speaker 5 (49:25):
You?

Speaker 3 (49:26):
I don't know. It's a great question.

Speaker 6 (49:27):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
So I had to kind of have to figure out
as I was going, like how to do everything? Mm hmmm.
I play.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
I've played every year since I've been here, and you
can go ahead and get that good for you thing ready.
I'm always going to be a bridesmaid. I finished third
the first year and I think second last year, So
hopefully I can win the thing this year. But Pat
Butler won last year, your co host on Two Hours
to Midnight. Yeah, we're back this week, are you?

Speaker 6 (49:55):
Oh? God for you?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Yeah? We are ten o'clock, ten pm, rob nothing but
two hours of heavy metal, Me and pet Ball.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
So he won last year. He won last year it
was the pot. I don't know, it was, uh, thank you.
So it's.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Bucks oh wow, Okay, so the buy in is like yeah,
I think it's I think it's one hundred of guy.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
I have to look at it and I think people
ask me to go, I go no, because it's because
I'm just throwing darts on a board, and that's usually
how someone wins.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
But it ain't gonna be me. It's always you know somebody,
And well we had the vacancies. I was going to
ask you, and I remember you being like, yeah, I
don't want to do that. Well, that's why I didn't
ask you.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
I mean, yeah, I'm all for fantasy football. I think
it's cool. I mean I pulled a couple of people.
I have Ibraheima Konate at center back. I have Alexis
McAllister midfield, I Van twine Menu at wing.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
I got Bruno Fernandez is my attacking midfielder. I got
Alison Becker in the net. I got Omar Marouche for
my foreword.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
Yep. So I mean it sounds like you're well in
your way.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, rah, I'm all about football and so my fantasy
Oh damn it, that's so this has been pandering to
soccer fans.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
Yeah, I congratulated wrong as the so you in there?
Yeah football? Yeah, okay, No, I don't. Uh, I don't
take part of that.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Maybe one of these years I will, but uh, I
think I did it maybe the first couple of years
I was here, and I pretty much have my ass
handed to me.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Well, if you would like to play again? Uh, I
gotta talk to the commission.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
I know a guy.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Yeah yeah, dou She texted me in the break, She goes,
I got Lasik when you did? I go, yeah, but
you're like ten years old in me.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
I can hit her twice?

Speaker 16 (51:44):
I know.

Speaker 6 (51:45):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, no, I think she did because somebody told me.
Last year I went to a place called l v S.
It's Laysing Vision Centers in Cleveland. It's hashtag not an AD.
But Jim Principy, my buddy down there in Independence. He's
the one that runs the whole thing. I ran into
him not long ago. It was like I was doing
an appearance in the flats towards the front of the summer,
and I just happened to run into him, and I'm like, yeah,
this is still going strong. But somebody went in there

(52:08):
like last year and said that my picture is still
on the wall. So I'm like, God, I bet that's fun.
You got. I think me and Erica, I think our
pictures are on the wall. Oh you guys probably take
that down you want. I'm sure there's equally prominent people
who've been in there.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
They like, haven't you up there. I guess listen, what
do you want from me? It's uh, you can't.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Really tell by looking at someone if their eyes have
gotten better.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Did you sign it? Sign the picture?

Speaker 2 (52:35):
I said, there's nothing finer than being in your diner
is what I signed. And they said, this isn't a diner.
Take them back again and shave off the next layer
of cornea N Carr show.

Speaker 14 (52:48):
On one.

Speaker 10 (52:53):
When you realize things could always be worse, He'll be here.

Speaker 6 (52:58):
To I'll prove you right. Correct allan go.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
We have bureau Cheese in the Greater Baton Rouge metropolitan area.
Spencer and a couple other people who listen on Ihart radio.
Speaking of Walmart, they had to scoop up some dudes
who rode their horses through Walmart.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
It is Louisiana.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
I mean.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
One guy defended himself saying that it was his emotional
support horse.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
And I don't I don't know how you how you
disprove that these days for.

Speaker 17 (53:33):
Our Facebook page, he has already gotten about five million views.
And yet those are four horses inside the Baker Walmart
walking right by the cashier. So far, the Baker Police
Department as a four horsemen of the Wallpocalypse. They cited
two of the men riding them and now they liked
to talk to the others. Newsoose David Hamilton talked to

(53:54):
one of the men on horseback and asked them, what
were you thinking, Michael?

Speaker 4 (53:58):
I suppose to the rod who's he and his friends
were just having fun. Why As many of you on
social media have said, horsing around, that's my most support animal. Basically, yeah,
this man in a group of his friends called themselves
to cut throat cowboys videos and riding through the Baker
walmart was watched millions of times on WBRZ social media pages.

(54:19):
In the video, you can see the riders raining the
horses in it. And while my work is confused on
how to handle the situation, imagine the.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
Centenarians working the door there trying to figure they've immediately
become deputies, trying to figure out how to get four
guys on horseback out of the store. Move the horses
are eating all of the produce. Yeah, I get out
of the way.

Speaker 4 (54:41):
Shortly after videos were uploaded, the Baker police issued warwards
for their arrest. We caught up with Mason Webb as
he and the juvenile turned themselves into the police department.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
We asked why they chose to ride through the store.
Their answer, why not? We just went in them Rode.
We always read to bakers, and we just wanted to
do it, did they?

Speaker 7 (55:02):
Hey?

Speaker 4 (55:04):
Both welp in the June Isle, facing mis demeanor charges
of disturbing the piece by violent and timultuous manner, entry
on or remaining after forbidding and all wealth.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
I don't care what else that guy's got to say.
I just like the notion of these dudes standing there.
So you're being charged with what do they say? It's
disturbing the piece in a tumultuous manner?

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (55:29):
Hey, both welp in the juw and Ale facing mis
demeanor charges of disturbing the piece by violent and timultuous manner, violent.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
And tumultuous, violent and tumultuous manner. Nothing I think?

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Am I change the name of our metal show to
that violent and tumultuous manner Saturday nights at ten.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
It's a mouthful boy.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
Uh, It's like that reporter is eating gummy bears as
he's filing that report. I don't know what anyone else.
It's baton rouge man. I mean, it's pretty good. So
it's Louisiana. I mean, boy, television will put anybody on
television anymore because nobody wants to do it anymore. Local television,
which ironically is the most trustworth you know, as much

(56:15):
as people love to decry media, local television has the
highest trustworthiness factor among people when they pull them local television.
But boy, you can't tell what the hell's going on
in this story other than the fact that four dudes
on their horses, the cutthroat cowboys riding through a walmart.

(56:39):
It's definitely something you shouldn't do. But Baker Losian, come on,
throw the book at them, chow out misdemeanors, violent and
tumultuous means.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
And one big pile of road apples.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Right, road apples? Wow, old school, soft, watery road apples.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
People might use that. I haven't heard road apples since
I was about eight years old.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
There's a lot of road apples out there. There was
the hell are you talking about? So what we call
horse poops. They used to have road app maybe out
in like Lancaster County or wherever out here where they
got amish ashtabula maybe, and maybe they still use road apples.
Probably a lot more prominent than here in Cuyahoga County
and the parades and stuff. He used to have like

(57:31):
a cart behind him pick up the crap. And my
dad that's what he always would call it. He's like,
here comes the road apple mobile. Yeah, I mean that's
when you're a kid. That is the most fun part
of a parade is when the horse is poop.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Just letting them rip. Yes, walking, that's right. You're like,
oh my god, look at that.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
So beautiful to get a slop that horse is just
walking around pooping. Because for a split second, when you're
a kid, you go, I'd be great. It's like a right,
I want wherever I want. Wish I could do.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
The tail come up. You're like, all here comes.

Speaker 14 (58:08):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
It's like the memes are when you watch nature documentaries.
You know the hippos, that's how they attract a mate.

Speaker 3 (58:16):
Yeah what uh. Flinging their poop is part of the
mating ritual.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
So you'll have two male hippopotamuses who are vying, but
I was gonna say vying for the affections.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
They just run up there and do whatever they want
to do.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
But you'll see them pooping and spinning their tail At
the same time, this is to fling their feces as
far and wide as they possibly can to mark their territory.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
That's part of the hippopotamus mating ritual. I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
I've said so, yeah, conceivably a A I guess the
thought process is a A female hippopotamus goes, hey, I
want to get that with that guy. Look at that distance,
Look at him flinging his feces over there.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
I want to party with that guy.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
I had no idea that was for mating. I saw
the video like there was somebody sent like hippo fart. Yeah,
video of the zoo. I didn't know that was for mating.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
I mean, I don't know if it is in every
possible instance, but I know that that is part of
the hippopotamous mating ritual.

Speaker 6 (59:19):
Look what I can do.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
And I'm sure some of you were saying, Ellen, how
would you possibly know that? Don't you worry about how
I know that? Don't I'm not explaining to you how
I fell into a hippo pit and found out the
hard way.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
You already told us. You said you watch a lot
of nature television. I'd pay attention I sure do them
a lot of nature television.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
So but when you're yeah, when you're a kid and
you see the horses in the parade, new you're a kid,
You're like, I don't care about Shriners.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
The hell is this? Let me see the horses poop. Oh,
look there's the mayor. There's the Is the mayor gonna poop?

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Nope, listen, this is Let this be a maybe a
mental note for those of you who organize parades four pooping.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
We'd always laugh to see who was like, Oh, is
that guy gonna step in it? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Another horse comes by and just right down, sush, yeah,
like yes, yeah, here come the girl scouts. Nobody tell him,
Nobody tell him that a hugeum oh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Troop three point sixty is down. Frank, Oh No, the
girls scouts showed up and just poops. All well, they
slipped into the horseman. No, but he's paging attention. Tell
that river of roade apples here come to Clydesdales and
all you guys were talking about Aaron Lewis and his
faux country music. You've forgotten about the greatest country song

(01:00:52):
of all time. If you want to circumcise me, kick
my sister in the chin. That seems unlikely that that
that is a real song. I have a feeling this
person's making that up. That was one of my ex

(01:01:13):
girlfriend's favorite jokes. I told her that joke and she
laughed so hard. I can't I don't know why, but
forever she would always make me tell people that joke.

Speaker 18 (01:01:22):
M hm.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Was like to find joke, but she loves it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
How do you circumcise a redneck? That was the joke
and that was it, and she'd kick his sister in
the chin.

Speaker 14 (01:01:35):
Whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Yeah, it's the same question. Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
It's an easy target, yes, making fun of rural people,
and it's undeserved.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
But those guys there at the walmart, the one guy goes,
it's just my emotional support horse, which I think is
a great you know, because hey, they can't disprove it.
Everybody's wiping their ass with the emotional support stuff, with
the animals.

Speaker 12 (01:01:58):
And things of that prove that's if it's not. That's
why the airplanes got rid of it. People were taking
snakes and flamingos everything.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Hey, get your peacock off the plane.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Also there in Idaho, the governor assigned a bill in
the law that criminalizes the public exposure of breast.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
No did I say no balloons?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
I was saying, balloon you can walk on Ohio beaches
and show you show your boobs. Well, I think what
this is is that this is just another one of
these things where these states that are really really trying
to stick it to the single digit portion of the
population that identifies as transgender, and they're just casting this

(01:02:48):
very wide net, right, So they've criminalized the public exposure
of breasts, including male breasts altered to look like female breasts,
or toys or products that resemble genitals. And this is
where the fine people in the great state of Idaho
have really gotten their dander up, because this would also

(01:03:09):
include truck nuts. Oh thank god, And so listen, if
that is your form of expression, it's not my form
of expression.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
I think it's ridiculous, But a lot of people like it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
And you certainly wouldn't think that people there in Idaho
would cott into any kind of legislation that would outlaw
truck nuts. But it sounds like they might be thrown
out the baby with the bath water here. I've also
heard and argue, say what, I'm sorry, go ahead meant
about this bill, saying, well.

Speaker 16 (01:03:36):
It could penalize people who put certain things on their
trailer hitches. I don't you know, there's I don't think
we need to go into that, but there's there's certain.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Why do they do that?

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Just the brand even trucks. Everybody knows what you're talking about.
Why why you hean't and hawn and dancing around it.

Speaker 16 (01:03:54):
These people put on their trucks that look like the
part of look like part of a male anatomy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
They call them truck nuts. They're gross.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
And she comes out and says it the legislature.

Speaker 16 (01:04:04):
She comes right out that testicles trucks that look like
the part of a bumpers a male anatomy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
They call them truck nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
They're gross, they're offensive, and kids on the road see them.

Speaker 19 (01:04:18):
So why wouldn't the police get a call and say
that offends me, pull it off the truck because now this.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
Bill will allow it. Are they gonna.

Speaker 12 (01:04:27):
Make like animals wear diapers so that you don't see
their hanging testicle?

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
This is all quality questions. I don't know if that's
being asked of the Ohio legislature. There, listen, I'm all
in favor of that truck nuts just because they're stupid.
I mean, listen, man, they common a variety of colors.
You know, there's women who put the pink ones on
their truck.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
Nope, I got no, it's not for me. But I
got no problem with truck nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
I'll actually, for once, I can finally say I agree
with something government does because I hate all of it. Tructicles, cats,
rid of them, all, all truck balls gone?

Speaker 14 (01:05:04):
No more?

Speaker 3 (01:05:05):
Would you call them? Scroll?

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
Uh? No more? No more? Why because they're stupid? Well,
but there's a lot of stuff that's stupid. No, no, no, no,
that's particularly stupid. If I think it's stupid, I don't
put it on my cart.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Now do they only?

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Have you ever seen them on like like I drive
a forward fusion? Have you ever seen them not on
a truck that would be funny, a sedan or something,
or like a Prius. Listen, you'll remember the quote. And
I want you, you know, because this comes down obviously
to people's liberty and things like that. I want everyone
to remember the quote. First they came for the truck nuts,
and I did not speak out because I did not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
Have truck nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
And then they came for the Playboy Bunny mud flaps,
and I did not speak out because I did not
have Playboy Bunny mud flaps.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
Then they came for.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
The Molin Labbe bumper stickers, and I did not speak
out because I do not masturbate to guns and Ammo magazine.
And then they came for me and there was no
one left to speak for me. I think that's what
they quote is Listen, where does it end? That's what
people want to know.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
Truck nuts.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
They're in the great state of Idaho. They're trying to
outlaw your truck nuts. You see a lot of trucknuts
out there for them to want to outlaw it. Well,
of course there are white dudes out there, you know,
Rolling Cole. Listen, it's all stupid. I'm just saying that
I don't have them on my car because I don't
want them on my car. But if you want to
put them on your truck, you should be able to

(01:06:39):
put them on your truck. But out there, an Idaho boy,
they are trying to infringe on your liberty. And so
who knows what they reaction. Well, I can tell you
what the reaction is going to be out there in Idaho.
Don't take nuts, yes, of course, again, where are you'll
never take d'se nuts? Where are all you dudes with

(01:07:01):
the three percent or calf tats when it comes to that,
you've been screaming tyranny every time Obama or Biden farted sideways,
and now that it's actually here, it's crickets.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
So I don't know what's going on out there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
You can take my nuts when you can prime out
of my cold dead fingers.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Off my chrome bumper.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
Listen, you go to like a you know, if you're
on a road trip and you pull off and you
go to a flying Pilot Jay or one of these
truck stops, you know you'll see a full on spiral
rack of truck nuts in a variety of sizes and colors.
And listen, I'd love to know who invented them, because
in a certain way, they're a genius. I mean, they

(01:07:44):
came up with something that is wildly popular, and if
you don't like them, don't put them on your You know,
people love to throw kids under the bus, people love
to these kids. Well, how am I going to explain?
How are you going to explain? You explain this? Am
I going to explain?

Speaker 3 (01:08:02):
If you have a son.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
You just made it a hundred times easier for one thing.
Someday yours are going to hang like that kid. They
probably won't be painted silver. They're getting much more realistic too,
Like veiny bastards now they are. They've got the ridges
in the Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
Crumpled up skin on the bottom.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Yeah, veiny because they kind of started off kind of cartoony.
And then you have to think that somewhere along the
line because every item, every novelty item, is going to
have copycats.

Speaker 3 (01:08:32):
Somewhere along the line, there.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
Was someone who said, I don't think they're realistic enough,
and that is where I will part ways with the
original truck nuts.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
You know, someone sitting in a boardroom right now pitching like,
how can we put hairs on them and make it
look even more realistic? You know, I just I feel
like the one side hanging lower Cliff, that was a
fantastic Idea'm hoppy. We updated that and Jim, great job
with the veins. What can we do to make it
look more realistic? We have to figure out to implement pubes.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
It is an option, but listen, a lot of people
President Company included, don't have any pubes.

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
Agreed but you have to have that option for those
that do. You can't just have one. It's not one
nut fits all.

Speaker 2 (01:09:16):
While several people claim to have invented truck nuts, a
guy named John Saler claims he was inspired to create
them after seeing someone yell show him you got balls
while driving off road, and he began selling them in
two thousand and two. So for twenty four years this
country has been beset on all sides by this. I'll

(01:09:40):
show you a little stock photo here on the back
of a gmcu con and just a couple of truck
nuts hanging there. And they're in the state of Idaho. Boy,
if you were to imagine any state they would try
to outlaw them, it surely wouldn't be Idaho. But again,
this is why, because those are the kind of states
or everybody gets they're undies in a bundle over anything

(01:10:03):
having to do with sex, recreational or they want nothing
to do with it, so they just cast this really
wide net. Who knows, maybe they'll have a carve out
for truck notes. Maybe they'll never come to that, but
we'll see. And our bureau chieves in the gray state
of Idaho. Please keep us abreast of what's going on there?

(01:10:28):
You know it started with it like someone wants say
they invented it. Oh yeah, do you show me go pulls.

Speaker 1 (01:10:33):
It probably was like some farmer somewhere hugging a pig
sack off the back of his truck to be funny.
Maybe so, and they're like, oh, that's a brilliant idea.
Jim bob Let's let's market this Ela bras On Fierro's
or car eyelashes.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
You know that car pisses me off. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
The cars are such an extension of somebody's personality. You
see jeeps with like the little rubber ducks on the
dash and it's thing. And I'm like, man, all of
that to me. The fewer things my car has in it,
the happier I am.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
So that's just me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
They want their car to be like a rolling testament
to their personality, and I go, man, it's your car.
You do whatever you want as long as it's not
causing problems, right as long as I'm if I'm near you,
I can see around you or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
But whatever, people are out there doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Ethan and Rochester, my stepdad's truck nuts on his truck
and one time he got stuck in the mud.

Speaker 3 (01:11:30):
Looked like somebody wiped the wrong way.

Speaker 7 (01:11:34):
The Allen Cox Show one hummas oh zimpic is expensive.

Speaker 6 (01:11:41):
I want to really lose your appetite. You've come to
the right place.

Speaker 3 (01:11:47):
It's the Allen Cox Show on.

Speaker 6 (01:11:50):
One hundred point seven double MMS home depot.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
Where these guys are always Parma, Ohio.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
Famously, the Buckhie states to the seventh largest city. It
takes a lot of heat, some of it deservedly, most
of it undeservedly. There's some fantastic spots there in Parma, Ohio.
We're partial of the Parma Tavern. Of course, some gorgeous
people live in Parma, Ohio. Some very very visually unpleasant

(01:12:53):
people live in Parma, Ohio. But it's not their fault.
But they are beset once more by bad press. Anytime
I get to extol the virtues of Parma, Ohio, I
do it. They've shown me a lot of good times,
and I'd like to think rob I've shown them a
lot of good times. Someone is on TikTok as the

(01:13:17):
Parma pisser. Now, I think this person's coming late to
the fake pee tiktoks. Right, most of these are fake
and listen.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
I've seen how you animals eat.

Speaker 2 (01:13:28):
This pea stream is way too strong and way too
clear to be anybody from Parma actually having a whiz.
But if you're not hip to these kinds of videos,
people in public from the first person pov just filming
the stream.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Zach sent me this. I wouldn't have found it on
my own, and it certainly wasn't for lack of looking.
But Zach sent me this.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
The Parma pisser striking outside the shops, the shops they're
at Parmatown.

Speaker 3 (01:14:03):
You watch this and you tell me if you think this.

Speaker 6 (01:14:05):
Is legitim.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
Just right there on the asphalt right next to it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:10):
Now, that stream way too clear, way too strong for
anybody there in parm if that were actual organic urine. Now,
of course they got a little bit of showing where
they are. This is nighttime there at the shoppies at
Parmatown or whatever they're called now, used to be Parmaitown mall.

Speaker 3 (01:14:30):
I don't know what it's called. Now that could be real.

Speaker 1 (01:14:32):
You think, yeah, it's like you're stole clear. Yeah, but
like I drink so much water during the show, I
peek clear.

Speaker 2 (01:14:40):
I do too.

Speaker 3 (01:14:41):
But if you go a total like that's a legit stream,
Like that's okay, I think that's real. Okay. Now, I'm
not saying you're wrong. I don't know one way or
the other.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
I'm just saying that a lot of those videos like
that you see, they're clearly not real.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
Yeah, the ones you see like dry Heathen too, Like
it'll start and stop like five times, you know, like.

Speaker 3 (01:14:58):
All right, that's not real.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
Cannot get enough of Instagram accounts where it's people vomiting, Just.

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
Cannot get enough of those. You got me on that
stupid fails. Oh my god, it's it just it like
pops up at the worst possible time at.

Speaker 2 (01:15:14):
The ball games that just sit there and they're so hammered,
they don't flinch.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
They're just vomiting.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
You know, people of sizable carriage, So it's like, you know,
their stomach is like right under their chin, and they're
just hammered and passed out practically at the ball game.
That's an extreme example. Or they're just sitting there and
just vomiting on them.

Speaker 3 (01:15:32):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
I don't need my vomit content to be projectile, right,
I'm not necessarily looking for air.

Speaker 3 (01:15:43):
It's good timing. Dude, that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
Just was happening in one way or another, whether I
wanted it to or not, and you happen to just
be talking about that. Excuse me, Rob over here, he's.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
He's adding color to the conversation as that wash. Yeah,
I mean, listen, I hate to admit it because it's
so juvenile, But when has that ever stopped us before?
Those puke fail I don't know why they call them
puke fails. They're puke wins for us. A puke fail

(01:16:20):
is when you try and don't succeed in emptying the
chamber of your throat and stomach. Anyway, the Parma pisser
is out there and on TikTok. Now, I've only seen
the one that Zach sent me. I don't know if
I went to this person's TikTok account. It looks like

(01:16:40):
maybe they're just getting into the whiz content a sphere here. Again,
they're coming a little late to the game, but I
guess better late than ever. I don't know, but you
people who live there in Parma, because there's nothing indicating
that this person is a Parmanian, is something said saying
that this person is a citizen of your fine town.

(01:17:05):
Some fat bladdered carpet bagger coming into your town and
letting fly right there in the parking lot of your shoppies.
They're trying to maintain a you know, I'm trying to
maintain a fan base out there. It looks like a
legit p to me back, all right, you might be right.

(01:17:27):
I guess I'm so reflexively skeptical of everything I see
now with respect to that, I start with, no way,
you might be right. I might be missing a lot
of great organic pee content, Rob because I just keep scrolling.

Speaker 3 (01:17:44):
I go, that's not that's not real. That's not real. Brian,
what do you think I like? Okay, I don't know.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:17:52):
He's like, oh brah, loved yup. Brian likes Deviled Ham. Well,
if you had him in the yes column for deviled
am if you've ever thought about it, you can make
sure that you put him in there. So anyway, thank
you Zach for keeping me abreast the goings on there
with the Parma pissar.

Speaker 3 (01:18:14):
It's gross. I don't mind telling you. Gross.

Speaker 2 (01:18:20):
Allen is David Lee Roth a fan of clean water.
What does he say when he sees gross water?

Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:18:29):
What about when he sees clean water. Yeah, what if
you see a guy peeting near you and filming it
for TikTok? In our fourth grade class, Alan, our class

(01:19:07):
visited a wastewater treatment plant. I loved seeing all the
dooty feces. It was a hoot for a kid that age.
It's a hoot for a kid of every age. Do
you call it duty feces? Duty feces? I'm just reading
what's written here, reading it as written, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:19:24):
Yeah, no, listen. I lived in Ohio.

Speaker 2 (01:19:27):
City for many years and Tremont when I first came
to northeast Ohio, and so I spent no small amount
of time down there at Edgewater Beach. And so you know,
if you're standing next to that discharge pipe after a
big storm, uh, you don't want to be in the

(01:19:50):
splash zone there when that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:19:55):
Gets going, because it's pretty gross.

Speaker 2 (01:19:58):
You're even in a good you're out there dodging the
lake erie whitefish that are floating up on the beach.
Rob they used condoms. And then next to the discharge pipe,
it ain't good. And all the sewer mice, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:13):
Godness it down.

Speaker 6 (01:20:15):
So when I pooh, I cannot.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
Swoopee Hey, listen. There's no account of Yeah, there's no
accounting for tastes al And I work nights and I
wake up to you play an Ngelbert humper dink.

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
You're welcome. I don't know what to tell you. You're welcome.

Speaker 3 (01:20:38):
All those tiny saltines are great. I'll have to try
them out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:43):
My son calls them tinies, and then he finally had
the full ones, and then he calls those big tinies.

Speaker 3 (01:20:49):
I caught some heat in the chests. Someone said big tiny.
Of course, my nickname in college.

Speaker 1 (01:20:54):
Say what what self respecting New Englander would suggest saltines
over oyster crackers do better? Wow, you dude, better at you?
But I never said they were better. I said they
were bigger. And I was saying if we were trying
to absorb the soup of lake erie, then that was
the better system to do so. Because sorry, Rob, I

(01:21:16):
couldn't hear you. Over all the backtracking, there is no backtracking.
I'm also I'm not one for crackers in my soup
all the time. I like an oyster cracker, but if
you make a good clam chowder, it takes away from
the clamp chowder.

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
It's not necessary.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Okay, So yeah. I mean, I'll use them if I
have to. All Right, what about animal crackers in your soup?
Monkeys and rabbits? Loop the Loop, Rob Shirley Temple, Allan,
wait until you see the Cincinnati gooner dudes out there

(01:21:54):
spraying all over the University of Cincinnati campus.

Speaker 3 (01:21:57):
How about that gooner?

Speaker 5 (01:21:58):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:21:59):
Man, Wow, that's just gross. That's tantamount to assault. Alan,
I've always gotten some distance with my vomits. I'm not
sure why. Maybe I have a mighty fram.

Speaker 3 (01:22:14):
Diaphragm. There, I got it, Elean. Are you sure that
the parmapisser.

Speaker 7 (01:22:21):
Is a guy?

Speaker 6 (01:22:23):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (01:22:23):
Could you imagine that that strong stream? What if it
was a lady?

Speaker 2 (01:22:28):
I mean, I guess I'm I'm showing my I'm showing
my biological bias there. Right, it could be a lady.
They would have to she would have to have it.
She's been doing nothing but keegels all day long. What
if she's got a mighty strong pelvic floor, and that

(01:22:49):
you're talking about the the length of the stream something correct,
and the angle in which it's like she we maybe
she's just pointing it all over the places.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
That was my invention name. I wrote that in high school,
like I had to come up with you know, the projects.
You had to come up with a marketing thing.

Speaker 1 (01:23:10):
And I wrote a whole thing about a little cup
you'd put over the part with a little uh a
straw on the end of it. Ladies could pee standing
up at ball games. I called it the Sheenis, and I.

Speaker 3 (01:23:22):
Got a D.

Speaker 1 (01:23:24):
I basically got the effort because because I probably they
figured like I was making a mockery.

Speaker 3 (01:23:29):
I thought it was a good invention.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
Brod got a D for the Sheenis ironic. Nevertheless, it's
well but yeah, but just because they thought you were
being cheeky doesn't mean it's a bad idea. Well it
should have.

Speaker 3 (01:23:43):
It's supposed to be a marketplace of ideas. Missus Sullivan,
I don't remember what the hell clad was.

Speaker 1 (01:23:49):
This is high school. It was high school. Yeah, I thought, well,
economics don't know something, and she was like, oh, you
just worked backwards from the funny name, that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:23:58):
But if I did.

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
But also, who cares if you how you got there?
If the idea is good, because guess what people made those?

Speaker 3 (01:24:06):
Yeah, the she Wei the one of the other ones.
You know, Genus is a good name. Sheenis is a
good name.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
There's probably an art collective rock band with that name
somewhere operating out of an industrial space in Brooklyn.

Speaker 3 (01:24:25):
Hello, we a Sheenis.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
I guarantee someone has made that at this point. Calling
that is sheenus, I mean the she wei is on Amazon.
There's a bunch of these.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
Genus can refer to a brand name for a female
urination device or a fud it actually says that, Yeah,
an online clothing brand, or the name of a European
car service. Well, it calls Sheenis for a ride.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
Well, because the two that come to mind for me,
the she Wi, which they bill as the original female
urinating device, say well done. The other one is called
go Girl. Okay, and it's just a pink silicone funnel
that you can use. You can get those at Walmart,

(01:25:11):
you know what I mean, The shei Wei and the
Go Girl. I wonder when they came into existence, seeing
sheenis company, because somebody, and this is what no matter
how silly an idea might seem to someone else, it's
best to really lock it down as your I was
gonna call it IP intellectual property, you know what I mean?

(01:25:40):
This is my IP ma'am. A shei wei a reusable
portable funnel shape.

Speaker 3 (01:25:46):
People know what this is.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
It's a funnel for ladies so they can take to
clothes off, right, just pop one in the thing there.

Speaker 3 (01:25:54):
And the shei Wei and the Go Girl were the
first two that I was thinking of.

Speaker 1 (01:25:58):
I could have been enrich If that woman didn't give
me a d and take away all of my drive
and ambition, I wouldn't be sitting here doing radio.

Speaker 3 (01:26:07):
I'd be the inventor of the sheenis loaded. Damn you,
missus celible. Let me read this to you. Okay, this
is on Reddit.

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
I flew in P three's in the navy, good one,
and the toilets in the head were non operational with
only a urinal jug on the wall. Female crew members
used a version of the siwi, although we called them
a sheenis.

Speaker 3 (01:26:34):
And all the other people's comments, Oh my god, a sheenis.

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:26:39):
The military comes up with the best nicknames. Oh my god,
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
What a great idea you're talking about it. In nineteen
ninety two, ninety five.

Speaker 3 (01:26:52):
Graduated ninety seven, so this would have been a sophomore
year class. Okay, this post is from nine months ago.
There you go.

Speaker 2 (01:27:00):
What a non trademarked, non registered invention by her own
Hollywood Rob Anthony. Yeah, I rattler himself. It's always things
I come up with, stupid ideas, and you know.

Speaker 3 (01:27:17):
There you go. Now here's an even better post on
that same thing.

Speaker 6 (01:27:22):
There.

Speaker 2 (01:27:23):
I was squatting in the woods to pee while playing
paintball when I was fifteen, and a brown recluse spider
bit my labia.

Speaker 3 (01:27:37):
Let's let you sit with that, ladies.

Speaker 6 (01:27:39):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:39):
She proceeds to say that she passed out, almost passed
out every time she pee. Well, you talk to anybody
gets bit by those brown recluse spiders and that's poisonous, right,
it ain't fun.

Speaker 3 (01:27:50):
Yeah, you got to get something that was that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:53):
I'm just gonna say, is the polite thing to do
with that particular moment to ask if the assistance is
required to help extract the poison?

Speaker 3 (01:28:13):
Elly, You have to think Rob, that she probably kept
it to herself.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
I would imagine that she probably confided in a medical professional.

Speaker 3 (01:28:20):
She said that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:20):
Her Her post continues on and says that even though
she was getting consistent negative texts, sorry, consistent negative tests,
her obgyn was insisting she had an STD because I
guess at the time she didn't know what it was,
and it was terrible for months because she's wearing this

(01:28:43):
scarlet letter and she's like, finally they do a biopsy
and it comes.

Speaker 3 (01:28:47):
Back as a brown recluse spider bite.

Speaker 2 (01:28:51):
So that's the situation in which these she whis quite
literally come in handy.

Speaker 3 (01:28:56):
She miss sorry, she misus.

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
To. I didn't want to use your intellectual property, your
IP on the program, and I had to go. Girl,
it's kind of gross to have to repackage it and
put it in its little plastic container. I swear by
the disposable female urinals I got on Amazon. They're fantastic

(01:29:23):
for festivals and concerts and kayaking. All right, kayaking. Don't
you just go in the kayak? I mean, don't you
just dip your bits in the see? Wouldn't you call
that like a furinal? What the festival female lady urinal?
The furinal? Yes, you wouldn't want to call it a
female urinal. That's too much, right, furinal, the shep, the shep,

(01:29:45):
the furinal furinal? Yeah, the urinal urinal? Oh? I like
that a lot at r I nal yeah, the urnal. Oh,
good see.

Speaker 3 (01:30:00):
No, no, no, these are freebies.

Speaker 2 (01:30:03):
This company wouldn't even make me Alan Cox show urinal
cakes when I asked for them, Right, they wouldn't even
do that for me.

Speaker 3 (01:30:10):
I think we should make some.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
Yeah you think, except they're prohibitively expensive?

Speaker 3 (01:30:14):
Are they really?

Speaker 2 (01:30:14):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (01:30:15):
How much you?

Speaker 3 (01:30:15):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:30:15):
I looked into him years ago. I got fine, I
got my own, maide. They were like nine bucks apiece
or something. I'm like, I ain't paying that just for
a joke. Then I'd have to get local bars to
put him in their urinals. I hadn't been in town
that long, right, you know what we do? I think
we make them up, right, I said, I'll make them
up with my face on them, and then we bring.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
Them to all of your cocks out gigs, drop them
right there at every single bar that we go to,
and then they're there.

Speaker 3 (01:30:40):
I don't think I won't.

Speaker 2 (01:30:42):
I logo on one side, twenty bucks apiece, my little
put him on the other. Alan Sheeness is what Charlie
called himself when he was trying the other side of
the menu. Perfect ten out of ten, No notes. Perfect
took me a second. Yeah, Now, I was talking earlier

(01:31:04):
about aka Charlie Sheen, which is the three hour documentary
that it's split into two parts over there on the Netflix.
Very entertaining, very candid Denise Richards. You know, she's still
got a lot of love for this dude. It's a
wild story. His wife after her, by the way, she

(01:31:24):
was really matching his energy.

Speaker 1 (01:31:27):
The Ellen Cork Show on one hundred the audio of
equivalent of that bumper sticker that says I'd rather be driving.

Speaker 3 (01:31:40):
The Ellen Cork Show on one hundred point seven.

Speaker 20 (01:31:44):
WMMS Guardians Baseball tonight on the Buzzard.

Speaker 3 (01:32:10):
Not a great start to this home stand. They were
on the road for quite some time.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
Started back here in the Friendly Confines last night against
the Dodgers seven to two.

Speaker 3 (01:32:20):
There the final. They'll get another crack at him tonight.

Speaker 2 (01:32:23):
We'll get going around six, six oh five your start Doadgers,
Guardians here on the buzzard and on the iHeartRadio app.
But they ended up having a good shot in Detroit
and Tigers finally won one. But other than that, Guardians
took three or four and Tigers are good team this season.

Speaker 3 (01:32:40):
So who knows? Rob took his mom at the airport.

Speaker 12 (01:32:44):
She did.

Speaker 2 (01:32:45):
She had been here in the in the friendly embrace
of Medina County. For how long had she been here?

Speaker 7 (01:32:52):
Ten days?

Speaker 2 (01:32:54):
Glorious? Oh you left out glorious ten glorious days. Ten
days with the Anthony family there in Medina County. Uh
huh for your daughter's graduation, correct, which I have to
assume went. Uh saw some photos smashingly, look like it
went great. We had a beautiful day.

Speaker 3 (01:33:12):
You clean up good. She looked happy.

Speaker 21 (01:33:14):
She did.

Speaker 3 (01:33:15):
Yeah, it was great. I cried the entire time. He
was awesome. Of course I cried.

Speaker 7 (01:33:19):
I did.

Speaker 6 (01:33:19):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:33:20):
Yeah, I'm a big SAFTI dude.

Speaker 2 (01:33:21):
I mean, listen, well, I tear up when my daughter performs,
you know, when she's in the Giant choir and you
know she's in Italy for a month performing this program
from Michigan State University, and then I'll get tearry at that.

Speaker 3 (01:33:34):
But boy, not much else.

Speaker 1 (01:33:35):
It was nothing sad about it. It was just, you know,
just proud of her, you know. So it's uh and
and again, when it comes to them, I'm a huge softie.
I'm pretty much dead inside to most things, correct, But
when it comes to my girls, they'll.

Speaker 2 (01:33:47):
Get me to get that soft, squishy center. Yeah, so
is everybody gone. Now everyone's gone. My mom was the
last one. So my brother came in Thursday. He was
here Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Some people dipped in and out.
Yeah is that who was with you at the rock Hall?
Like a bunch pp Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:34:04):
And uh then my wife's family came in on Friday
and they left like at five o'clock in the morning
on Sunday, So they weren't here long.

Speaker 3 (01:34:12):
They were in a different house.

Speaker 1 (01:34:14):
They rented an airbnb, but my brother and his family
stayed with me and my mom was here, so we
had a we had a house full.

Speaker 6 (01:34:22):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:34:22):
It was it was just like my childhood all over again.
Was it tearful farewell in the USA?

Speaker 3 (01:34:32):
I mean I didn't like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:34):
Of course, I don't want to see like I don't
get to see my mom a lot. So yeah, I
mean it's it's sad to she she goes back down
to Cocoa Beach, right, But but I was it was
she'll do.

Speaker 3 (01:34:47):
Uh, she needed to go home. She's gonna do.

Speaker 1 (01:34:51):
Her dog was with her, so she's gonna look forward
to getting back home and probably got a routine, get
back into her routine. Ye dog, Yeah, because my dog.
I have the puppy, and all the puppy wanted to
do was play. So he's biting him in the ass,
and he's biting his tail and he's biting his ears,
and he heard dog is a condo dog, and like
didn't fully understand, like he shouldn't crap on my carpet.

Speaker 3 (01:35:12):
So there was that.

Speaker 2 (01:35:13):
It was.

Speaker 6 (01:35:14):
It was.

Speaker 3 (01:35:15):
It was a nice visit.

Speaker 2 (01:35:17):
Okay, ten days, that's plenty. That could have been too.
That is plenty for I think probably most people's families.
Was this your mom's first foray into Ohio? My mom
lived here, she graduated from Talmage High School. She did, yeah,
oh I think you yeah mentioned that, but she So
this was our first trip back. So that's what we
did yesterday.

Speaker 3 (01:35:37):
We drove around and this was your mom's first trip
back since she lived here.

Speaker 1 (01:35:41):
She was here one other time, but her first trip
down like that, like to go see where her high
school was, to see all that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:35:46):
So that's what we did yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:35:47):
We drove around Talmadge and the football like I guess
the middle school now is where the high school was,
so they never did anything with the football field. So
all the outbuildings and the ticket gates and the bleachers
and all that stuff looked the exact same as they
did in seventy three when she graduated. The Blue Devils
the Blue Devils out there and tell and there's a
big there's like a mural outside of the stadium. So

(01:36:07):
I took a picture of that with her. She showed
me the house that my grandfather bought. While they lived here,
my grandfather got transferred for work, so they were here
for I don't know ten years maybe I'm not sure
how long, all right, but yeah, so she graduated from
school there and then she went on and did other stuff.
But yeah, it was, uh, I mean it was nice.
We had a nice, a nice visit. We went to
the Hall of Fame on Sunday.

Speaker 2 (01:36:30):
It was like I said, it was it was the
argument for some or was everybody kind of playing nice?

Speaker 8 (01:36:35):
Not with me.

Speaker 1 (01:36:36):
My mom is is like she likes to hold on
to what things were like when my kids were little,
so you know, the the yeah, but like she gets
bummed out if like they're not doing backflips about you know, uh,
sitting down and chatting.

Speaker 3 (01:36:54):
Oh yeah, that whole thing.

Speaker 1 (01:36:55):
So so it's not necessarily that she's wrong. But like
I said to her, we were talking and I was like, Mom, like,
you gotta understand, like they're not seven.

Speaker 2 (01:37:02):
That almost starts away before now by the way, that
starts like eight nine years old.

Speaker 3 (01:37:07):
But my mom isn't around a lot, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 15 (01:37:10):
So like when when when she's talking about things that
like would have been something they would have done when
they were five, they're they're kind of like, okay, nanny,
you know all right, you know, and.

Speaker 2 (01:37:20):
Then she kind of gets did you have to take
them aside and go, hey, play along for a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:37:25):
Oh yeah, yoh yeah, yeah, yeah, yea yeah, like five times.

Speaker 1 (01:37:29):
Yeah, don't forget to give nanny a hug and kids
good night, don't forget to say thank you because she
bought dinner. Yes, you know, all those types of things
that I know, And you know I pre screened too.
I'm like, hey, listen, I know it's your graduation and
it's your day. Make sure you take a picture with
your nanny, you know what I mean, Like, those are
the things that I did. Yes, preemptive strikes.

Speaker 2 (01:37:50):
You're you're you're producing an addition everything else, you're producing
the graduation oh without.

Speaker 3 (01:37:56):
Question, yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:37:57):
And then you know you got the two sides of
the family, right, So my wife's family's here and then
my family's here, and usually they don't really have a
whole hell of a lot of things to say to
each other, you know, pleasantries and that, but not a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:38:10):
Right this time some familial strife on the other side
this time, Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:38:14):
This time everybody was sort of just hanging out together.
My brother and my brother in law were talking, which
that was like a cool thing. My sister in law
was talking to my other sister in law, so all
that stuff was cool. It was nice to actually see
because I'm running inside and out. I'm cooking, I'm doing this,
I'm doing that, and I'm seeing people actually like co mingling,
and I'm like, all right, this is good.

Speaker 3 (01:38:35):
So there wasn't any horrible arguments or anything, but there
were some tense moments.

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
Yeah, you know, there's a lot of situations were co
mingling is a really, really bad thing and needs to
be addressed in the most professional capacity possible. Right, you're
not paying attention. You seem to have found a way
to do it. Yeah, I strike that balance, I have to.

Speaker 1 (01:38:59):
So I think the one thing that I have to remember,
I made my daughter's graduation about her and then secondarily
about my wife and I.

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
Right, like, we made sure that everything that she wanted
was done.

Speaker 2 (01:39:11):
Were there a lot of graduation festivities or there a
lot of logistics?

Speaker 1 (01:39:16):
Yeah, just there was just so many moving parts, right,
you know, Like my mom was there with her dog,
So what are we gonna do with the dog?

Speaker 3 (01:39:22):
Is the dog coming with us?

Speaker 1 (01:39:23):
My mom was there when we had that huge rainstorm
and the first thing, so my mom had the dog
with her, So then it was there was just a
lot of that type of stuff, and it was it
was just you.

Speaker 3 (01:39:33):
To deal with a lot of contingencies in the moment. Correct.

Speaker 1 (01:39:35):
So then we had a big like a dinner at
my house afterward, and that's when everybody was sort of
hanging out and talking that sort of stuff. But I was,
like I said, I was running around cooking like crazy.
Like I said, my best friend flew in on on Friday,
so we got blind drunk on Friday night. So Saturday
was a rough start. But that was the graduation day.

(01:39:56):
But thankfully everything was it went perfect with the weather
was great, it was good. Everything was good. I think
my mom, I would suggest the next time she come
maybe cut in half the amount of time that she's here,
because I think that that extra like three days after
everybody else left, was when things like kind of started
to get the uh, you know, hey, how you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:40:21):
How you like?

Speaker 1 (01:40:22):
The balloom is off the rose? I mean, yeah, it's
a look, you go to Las Vegas. You don't want
to stay a week any of there are three days
You're good. That's kind of the same thing, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:40:33):
It was it was nice. I enjoyed it tremendously.

Speaker 1 (01:40:35):
I thanked everyone beyond belief for being there for my
daughter and supporting my daughter through that step.

Speaker 3 (01:40:41):
I made a nice little speech in my kitchen, but
it was it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:48):
Was it's I'll do it again in four years when
Kellie Gretch I was again in four years, right, But
till then we can figure other things out.

Speaker 2 (01:40:56):
There was that viral video from a few years ago
that with a woman that was just destroying people's names,
Yes Thomas Jefferson University, and they were trying to figure
out how why this woman did this, how she screwed
up all the names.

Speaker 16 (01:41:14):
Call Beisha sire Ouvoon, Jean June right.

Speaker 2 (01:41:21):
Her name is Sarah Virginia Brennan, and that's how the
woman pronounced it. Thomas whom gum Burrell, themo, It's tim
Themo Hammer, Robbie, It's Timothy Harvey.

Speaker 3 (01:41:43):
Toarmo whom Numa? Who stink? Frankelfurter, just one guy left.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
It's Thomas Sake. Frankael I was writting a story about

(01:42:37):
a kid in Columbus whose parents clearly handed him the
keys to their funeral home business, and he's trying to
innovate over there.

Speaker 3 (01:42:49):
It'll be the first funeral home in the state of
Ohio with a bar.

Speaker 2 (01:42:53):
They're gonna get their liquor license because the kid says, well,
this will be away from you know, I think it's
a fantastic idea brilliant I mean, even if everybody behaves themselves,
they'll have a better time than they would have otherwise. Right,
but it also ups the chances for there to be

(01:43:16):
some alcohol infused scrums at a funeral. A kid named
and he looks way too young to be in charge
of things. They call him the owner, Hunter Triplet, owner
of the Evergreen Funeral, Cremation and Reception in Columbus. He's
opening the state's first bereavement center with Booze, his family

(01:43:43):
was applying for the liquor license. His family bought the
property in twenty fifteen. It's in an old chocolate factory
and it's right across the street from a cemetery. That's perfect,
and he explained to the local news there channel six
in Columbus about how this is an innovation unlike any other.

Speaker 21 (01:44:06):
My role in this position is to kind of be
a party planner for dead people, you know, be more
of a celebration of life than more of the multi
day traditional services which costs a lot of money.

Speaker 19 (01:44:18):
Hunter Triplet, the owner of Evergreen Funeral Cremation and Reception,
wants to shed the business's reputation of being dark and
morbid by offering manageable prices and the option for mourners
to raise a toast to a lost loved one with
a bar.

Speaker 21 (01:44:35):
Will only be offering alcohol when people are on this
premises and remain on the premises until the continuation of
our services, just for the safety of the people in
the community around.

Speaker 3 (01:44:44):
Triplet says.

Speaker 19 (01:44:45):
Adding a bar will allow people to make the service
more personalized. Evergreen is the largest full service funeral home
in central Ohio, and Triplet says will be the first
of its kind in the state.

Speaker 3 (01:44:58):
And they're inspired. This place is like a massive event space.

Speaker 2 (01:45:01):
By the way, it's not something because it looked like
it's in a strip mall or something, but it's across
the street from a cemetery and it's giant. The little
grand piano there, we got all the amenities. This kid
probably looked around and was like, you know, we should
be serving booze.

Speaker 3 (01:45:18):
It was so big.

Speaker 1 (01:45:19):
I mean, it looks like it literally looks like an
event like you said, like an event hall. They even
have like those chairs are different, Like that's insane. Also,
you're always looking for new revenue streams. You know, there's
just no money to be made in the funeral home business.
Jesus nor when my dad died and we were like,

(01:45:40):
you know, when you're walking through the place and they're
showing you all of the options for the casket, and
we're like, look, our dad would not have wanted anything
even remotely approaching ostentatious. All right, show me what you
got in like the base level blah blah blah, because
you're playing you know, listen, it was a Christian burial,
so we weren't It wasn't a emation or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (01:46:02):
I wish that it was like we could walk in
here by and eurn and you know, be done with it.
But it was the vault and the thing and the
you know whatever the state of Illinois requires. Different states
have different requirements. But anybody who's ever gone through this, uh,
it's just interminable the plans you have to make. And

(01:46:25):
you know, and my dad got you know, he got
diagnosed with what eventually.

Speaker 3 (01:46:35):
Killed him. He got diagnosed back like an eight, right
I was.

Speaker 2 (01:46:39):
I had moved back home in Chicago to work, and
so fortunately I was near my parents when this whole
thing happened. But then he had many many years of
like being healthy ish until it all came crashing down
at the very at the very end. But because of that,
he had no life insurance because he's like, I'm not
going to get anybody to you know, he'd like let

(01:47:01):
it lapse or something. Before he got sick. He's like, well, no,
he's gonna take me now. So it was all out
of pocket. All the funeral stuff, it was all out
of pocket. So from the coffin to the thing, to
the you know, the engraving of the headstone, all that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:47:18):
Wrote my mom a big fat check for some things.

Speaker 2 (01:47:22):
My siblings and I we all kind of, you know,
broke it up, and you're like, oh my god, even
if you try to go a modest route, you know,
we were gonna put him in a box in the ground.
I mean, it's still our dad and we love him
and all that, but it's like, you know, just who
he was was not He would not have wanted anything,

(01:47:45):
you know, a big to do or.

Speaker 3 (01:47:46):
Anything like that. It's insanely it's expensive.

Speaker 10 (01:47:49):
It is.

Speaker 3 (01:47:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:47:50):
Even if you again, even if you're trying to do
something modestly, you're like, oh my god, you get a
bill for twenty two grand or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:47:58):
That's why I don't want any of it, No, none
of it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:02):
No cremate me, makes me with some dirt and play
me by a tree or whatever. Ac branch boy, That's
that's what I want to be. That's what I want
to be.

Speaker 1 (01:48:17):
There's a company done in Florida that will take your
ashes and make you part of a reef, and I
think that that's what I want to do.

Speaker 3 (01:48:24):
Like Alf, like the Coral Reefer band.

Speaker 1 (01:48:28):
Shut up, Allen, now, I don't have that idea anymore.
I've been talking about this for like fifteen years that
I wanted to do this. Now you made that comparison,
and now I'm out.

Speaker 2 (01:48:37):
I'm sorry I made you think about Jimmy Buffett. Looks
like I'm going with that old Christian burials Robs usually
thinking of other things.

Speaker 3 (01:48:45):
I was thinking about the poop. He's usually thinking about
the poop. Yeah, a reef. Well that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (01:48:53):
It's modern day conventions of how you want to die
and how you know.

Speaker 3 (01:48:59):
It's amazing. Now you can have your ashes compressed into
a jewel. Yep, right, you can be.

Speaker 2 (01:49:07):
You know, bury your your remains can be composted, and
I want it to be as as low tech as possible.
I've said for a long time I want my ashes
to be compacted into a Roman candle and then what
whatever friends you know, either fortunately or unfortunately, I don't

(01:49:28):
have a lot of friends, and so it's not going
to be a big to do, and who knows, you know,
who will still be around whenever I go. But I
always wanted my ashes packed into a Roman candle and
then shot off a barge in the middle of Lake Michigan.

Speaker 3 (01:49:44):
That's what I wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:49:46):
Now, if it can explode mid air and spell my
name all the better. That sounds expensive and not just
a little bit corny, But that's as most that's as
much thought as I'm going to put into that. Again,
I grew up Catholic, so everybody in my family gets buried. Now,

(01:50:08):
I think that probably will end with me and my siblings.
I think they're along the same lines as me where
we don't care. So when my mom goes, she will
be the last person to be buried in our family. Yeah,
we've all talked about it. I don't want the wake.
I don't want the mask. I don't I don't want
any of it.

Speaker 3 (01:50:27):
I just I don't mind the wake.

Speaker 2 (01:50:28):
I want people to be able to I want people
to be able to gather and mourn however they see fit.
My only request is what's done. I don't care what
they do. You know, people are like, well, who was it?
Maybe rich in Jacksonville he said something about how like
the party is for them, not you or yah, because
there was some argument over what somebody wanted done with

(01:50:50):
their body and their spouse ignored it.

Speaker 3 (01:50:53):
That's up to them. You're right, at the end of
the day, you're dead. You don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
I just think that you should respect someone's last wishes.
But if the thought is, well, the party is for them,
not you, there's a point to be made for that too.
I don't care what the party is people. Can you
know you can have an Irish wake. You could lay
me out in the middle of the pool table.

Speaker 3 (01:51:14):
I don't care. But this bar is all about that's
the Irish wake. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:51:17):
What could possibly go wrong, by the way, with a
room full of grieving people in a bar, That's what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:51:24):
Fist fights. Yeah, you hope. I can't believe Grandma's call.
Just fightting over Grandma? Oh, give it another penia colada?

Speaker 2 (01:51:33):
What you do?

Speaker 3 (01:51:35):
Are you making my ties back there?

Speaker 2 (01:51:38):
It sounds more like maybe a beer and shot thing
than a pina colada. Well, I'm staying with your theme
of coral reasons that you've not destroyed for me. Oh,
I'm sorry you went Rupert Holmes on me for a second.

Speaker 21 (01:51:49):
Yeah, called me and they're like, is this Evergreen funeral?
And I'm like yeah, and they're like, you would be
the first funeral home to get a liquor license in
the state of Ohio.

Speaker 2 (01:51:59):
Friday is Ladies of the funeral pilot.

Speaker 3 (01:52:03):
We're gonna tip your whitresses.

Speaker 2 (01:52:04):
Everybody, but guys, I'm the only one getting laid, and
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:52:12):
Laid rebind.

Speaker 2 (01:52:16):
No in and out privileges.

Speaker 3 (01:52:19):
The Allen Cox Show one w MMS.

Speaker 6 (01:52:24):
Flowers, willed loved ones. Past memories fade.

Speaker 3 (01:52:31):
But this thing just seems to go on for.

Speaker 14 (01:52:36):
Over The Allen Cox Show on seven w MMS.

Speaker 3 (01:52:42):
Valentine's Day coming up.

Speaker 2 (01:52:44):
Some people still opt for the candy hearts, and the
company that makes them, the Brox Company. They've made them
for a long long time. Brox is a huge a
bunch of these candy companies all urged. They're all headquartered
in Chicago, and so like Ferrara pan that makes the

(01:53:04):
lemonheads and all that, and the Brox and all these
companies emerged, and so they put out what they're called
technically called conversation hearts because they have little phrases on them, right,
I mean, this goes all the way back to like
I mean, if you're a gen x or and you
were in kindergarten, you had these. And so Brox is

(01:53:25):
making a big show of the fact that they're this
year they're going global.

Speaker 3 (01:53:29):
They're like Hey, no matter where you are.

Speaker 2 (01:53:33):
We got thirty expressions on these candy hearts in thirteen
different languages. Now, I was the weirdo because I didn't
get any sugar at home, and I would take it
in any form in which it came. I loved the
candy hearts when I was a kid. They probably destroyed
my palette, but I loved them. They've got a new

(01:53:58):
flavors this year. They've got passion fruit and pina colada.
Of course this is all for Valentine's Day, and mango
and peach and strawberry, and they're keeping all of the
original flavors as well, so wild clay berry, tropical dry wall, vanilla, chalk,

(01:54:20):
attic citrus, and thumbs m those are so delicious. So yeah,
those conversations glow going global, the conversation hearts. But what
are the phrases. I want to know what the phrases are. Oh,
they're making a big deal on it. Yeah, it's probably
let me see here. Yeah, they were a hugby kiss

(01:54:45):
be mine. But some of them were weird. They were
like my girl or I don't know, suck it.

Speaker 3 (01:54:53):
Was that one of them.

Speaker 2 (01:54:54):
I don't remember that. No pants me put my pants
in your mind. See they gotta be obviously short because
these are tiny hearts. TEAMO Sherry for the French, you
know they obviously they've updated them over the years.

Speaker 3 (01:55:15):
They some of them say bay and things like that.
The slang of the day. What is that my phone?

Speaker 2 (01:55:25):
Oh god, I thought it was your stomach. I was like, wow,
that is a very uniform stomach gurgle.

Speaker 3 (01:55:32):
It was going. But my stomach is so goddamn loud
all the time. Like it's it's just so loud because
you're never hungry. I can just lie there.

Speaker 2 (01:55:43):
I'm lying there and it's like, I can't believe my
stomach isn't waking people up.

Speaker 3 (01:55:47):
It's so loud. I had to go get some nuts
in the break.

Speaker 9 (01:55:50):
I was.

Speaker 3 (01:55:52):
Starving for some reason. Yeah, I don't know how you
don't get hungry, Allison deb versus Labor Day turn up.

Speaker 6 (01:56:00):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (01:56:01):
That's the good call. I did not go that deeply
into it. That is Labor Day weekend. Oh beautiful. We're
not gonna be here anyway. Oh that's fantastic. It couldn't
work out any better. We are going to turn snails
on that Sunday. Oh as the kids say we are
gonna get turned, he'd still say turned.

Speaker 3 (01:56:23):
I don't know. I know little John does. Yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (01:56:27):
Mean so yeah, they would have done that Jacob's Pavilion show,
but COVID canceled it and then they ended up you know,
I ended up buying one of those T shirts they
sold all that merch for that tour that got canceled,
The Cold and what was that tour called? They announced
it and then COVID shut it down, the Cold and
Infinite Tour or something like that. And so I have
a lot of people, including myself, bought T shirts from

(01:56:47):
a tour that never happened, got all the dates on it.
I cannot wait to see them. Yeah, I'm so excited. Yeah,
it's gonna be great. And it's a hometown show for
him too. That's always exciting. I wonder if Richard Patrick
will show up. I certainly hope, so have them do
something together, you, Yeah, certainly hope so filter Open or something.

Speaker 3 (01:57:06):
I think that he did at the woll.

Speaker 2 (01:57:07):
Stine Center if I'm unless I'm Mandela affecting myself there,
but I feel like he did. Let me give you
this money here, it's your second to last chance to
win today, and we'll start it all over again tomorrow,
but essentially once an hour all day for a while.
Now you're gonna get a crack at this money. It's
one thousand dollars from the Buzzard bookie.

Speaker 3 (01:57:26):
I hope you win.

Speaker 2 (01:57:27):
This is your chance.

Speaker 7 (01:57:28):
Go bet with a Buzzard bookie and.

Speaker 3 (01:57:31):
Win one thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:57:33):
Now introduce nation y keyword at doublemms dot com. Thank
that's bank inter it now doublumms dot com.

Speaker 3 (01:57:43):
They say they want our country to get better.

Speaker 22 (01:57:45):
How is our country getting better by doing random stopping
searches on people that you have no grounds to do
it for. That's unconstitutional. That doesn't make our country better.
Kicking out all of the legal workers who help keep
stuff our food at a decent price, that's not making
our country better. How about getting read and checking all

(01:58:06):
these unregistered guns that kill our youth every day?

Speaker 2 (01:58:09):
That would actually make her country better. Maga, don't get it, guys.
On one he was upset? Was he referring to the
Nashville school shooting that just happened?

Speaker 3 (01:58:20):
Oh? Is there a school shooting in Nashville? Yeah, cafeteria
shooting two kids? God damn I assume the shooter killed
him or herself. They said no longer a threat. Yeah,
it means they killed themselves or they or they got them.

Speaker 5 (01:58:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 23 (01:58:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:58:35):
I think getting a lot of messages like that, people
are mad.

Speaker 2 (01:58:40):
Well, Listen, I don't know if you looked at that
day one list I don't see anything on there that's
going to ameliorate what's going on with people complaining about inflation,
things like that. Maybe you blow everything out on day one,
all that dumb crap you want to do, the Gulf
of a man Erica. It's all revenge stuff. It's just,

(01:59:04):
you know, reversing things that have been done in the past.
I mean, you don't have any actual policies, but he
made sure, for whatever reason, made sure to reverse the
cap on insulin. So I have to imagine there are
a lot of diabetic Trump voters who can't be too

(01:59:25):
happy about that. I don't know why you reverse a
plan to keep pharmaceuticals affordable.

Speaker 3 (01:59:32):
I don't see the point in that.

Speaker 2 (01:59:36):
You can basically legally discriminate against gay federal employees now,
and we're supposed to pull out of the World Health
Organization and.

Speaker 3 (01:59:48):
All kinds of stuff. I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:59:53):
I don't know what any of this has to do
with making things more affordable or dealing with predatory lenders
or I don't know. I understand why that guy. I
guess he is pissed off. You know, there's a lot
of people who had no problem with the Elon Musk

(02:00:14):
throwing up the Nazi salute. But boy, their heads will
explode if you mentioned pronouns to him. So I'm not
real sure we're that cognitive dissonance ends up with people.
You know, there were a lot of people, they made
a lot of hay. It was a lot in Michigan,

(02:00:34):
Dearborn Michigan specifically, and communities Palestinian people who were going
to withhold their vote for the Democratic candidate as a
show of protest because Trump was going to be their
guy going to figure out the Israeli Palestinian thing. And
they thought that the Democrats were not doing what they

(02:00:56):
wanted them to do for that community. And so given that,
you understand the protest vote, it's not pragmatic.

Speaker 3 (02:01:06):
It's never going to get you what you want. So
their thought was, well, if the.

Speaker 2 (02:01:11):
Democrats are not listening to us on Palestine, we're going
to punish them by withholding our votes for Kamala Harris.

Speaker 3 (02:01:17):
And what they got was.

Speaker 2 (02:01:20):
Somebody asking Trump about how will you keep that ceasefire
in Gossa, And Trump said, that's our that's not our war,
that's their war.

Speaker 3 (02:01:29):
That's his answer.

Speaker 2 (02:01:31):
So I guess you withheld your vote and voted for
him because well, he'll figure all this out. And he's
coming right out because now that he's in, nobody's got
to pretend or anything like that. Nobody has to pretend
that they Bezos and Zuckerberg, none of these guys have
to pretend anymore that they have any interest in benefiting

(02:01:53):
you or me or whatever. Nobody's got to pretend anymore. So,
you know, people to talk about oligarchy and tech bros
and all that. That's been around for a long long time,
except the think difference now is that they're not even
pretending anymore. You know, I heard I got a letter
from a woman who works for NPR and she's freaking

(02:02:14):
out over there. She's like, we're getting constant like hate
messages from people. You know, the people in charge now
PBS and NPR, they have giant boners for public broadcasting.
They wanted to fund them because they talk about how
it's all propaganda. Again, this is full on projection about

(02:02:34):
how PBS and NPR are just propaganda. By propaganda, they
mean any outlet that calls them out for I don't know,
let's say, throwing up Nazi salutes. So you've really got
to twist yourself into a pretzel to figure that out.
But she wrote me and she was like, I work
for NPR, and yeah, you know, we're all really kind

(02:02:57):
of We're getting a lot of messages from people. Well,
now again these are troll messages. It's not like those
people are listening to National Public Radio or public television.
But she's like, you know, we're we're hoping for the
best over here. We're still doing the work that we do,
and but we're getting a lot of calls and messages

(02:03:21):
from people who are even though they won, they can't
take the w I guess they still got to let
you know, we didn't play the Roseanne rap, did we?

Speaker 23 (02:03:31):
No?

Speaker 2 (02:03:31):
You see the Roseanne rap? Yeah, she's some guy named
Tom McDonald that I've heard of. I know there's people
that have a real boner for this guy. I don't
know anything about him. I don't know if he's a
maga rapper or what it is, or maybe he's just
throwing in with Roseanne because.

Speaker 3 (02:03:45):
People know who she is and you know, oh, this
guy's a piece of work. Oh is he really?

Speaker 1 (02:03:49):
Is he like a troll rap? Like again, I know
the name, but I don't know any of his work,
you know, Yeah, I mean that's basically all it is,
like he does. There was like a woke Christmas song. Ye,
it's all just yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:04:07):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (02:04:07):
By the way, that to me is the weirdest thing
is there's like this little chant Daddy's home referring to Trump.
That's weird.

Speaker 3 (02:04:18):
I mean, you can throw a dart and find something
weird here.

Speaker 2 (02:04:20):
But the daddy's home thing, I don't get, implies the
adults are in charge and nothing could be further from
the truth.

Speaker 3 (02:04:27):
But Daddy's home. It's gotta be a better way to
put that.

Speaker 23 (02:04:31):
Alan cambin Ken, I would consider myself a P one
listener mostly in the podcast, So maybe I'm a a
PP one for the podcast P one. But you know,
we've lost the people over the years who lost Rick
and aka Becky. No one has heard from Joe and
Philiate quite some time.

Speaker 2 (02:04:50):
I don't know if we need to send out.

Speaker 23 (02:04:52):
A search party or what the deal is any case,
if something did happen to Joe, then you should always
say what in MOREM love you fight Listen.

Speaker 2 (02:05:04):
Given that last message, now I'm a little gunshy. I
don't want to say have you heard from Joe and Philly?
That's what Caleb's asking. No, we haven't heard from Joe
and Philly in a long long time. And that doesn't
necessarily mean I know I'm prone to prematurely killing people,
but you know, there are some people we haven't heard
from a long time. Haven't heard from Marcel in New
York City. The guy named Marcel used to call and

(02:05:27):
talking to him was like was like listening to someone
read Twitter, but he was He would call in randomly
and start giving sports reports what you'd give sports reports,
what you'd.

Speaker 6 (02:05:41):
That is gross.

Speaker 3 (02:05:43):
Haven't heard from him in a long time? Haven't. And
I have to allow for the fact.

Speaker 2 (02:05:51):
That there might be people who only listened to this
show for Bill Squire and Mary Santora.

Speaker 3 (02:05:59):
That is a possibility that exists, and so.

Speaker 2 (02:06:05):
We have may we may have had regular, for lack
of a better word, contributors who no longer feel compelled
to be a part of the proceedings here that might
be part of it. Caleb called there, but he also wrote,
and he knows Becky from Wayne County.

Speaker 3 (02:06:25):
Caleb knows a lot of people. You know what I mean?
Did you know that? Have you heard? No, have you
heard of Becky from Wayne County?

Speaker 2 (02:06:33):
I have?

Speaker 3 (02:06:34):
But did you know that Caleb knew her?

Speaker 14 (02:06:36):
I did not.

Speaker 2 (02:06:36):
Okay, he said her family. I would have pegged her
as an animal lover. He said her family had a
golden retriever that was known out there for its exceptional
basketball skills. He he goes, I think his name was Bud.
I'm not sure if that's what it was, but he
went on to have quite the basketball career.

Speaker 1 (02:06:57):
I was really hoping that's where that was going. As
soon as you said golden retriever, I'm like, come on
air Bud.

Speaker 2 (02:07:03):
Yeah. Well, listen, Caleb knows a lot of people, and
clearly from Becky, Wayne County out there the seemingly multiple
lives that she has lived. Mike and Parma, you guys
were talking about the advertisements that would air musical artists

(02:07:24):
chilling their albums or cassettes back in the day, and
the line was always he sold more albums than Elvis
and the Beatles combined. And I had to assume that
that was some marketing that used like a very obscure
piece of data, so that it was probably true, but
in some weird way you'd never think of before because
you had never heard of these people. One that comes

(02:07:45):
to mind was a guy named Richard Klaterman, who was
this guy with long blonde hair who was just playing
classic songs on the piano, like classical music. Richard Klaterman.
I remember those advertisements when I was a kid, and
they would say he sold more albums than the Elvis
and the Beatles combined. Or Slim Whitman was another one, right,

(02:08:10):
Remember Slim Whitman, box Car Willie. These were the artists
of the day. Mike and Parmer reminded me of zomb Fear,
Master of the Pan Flu. Remember that guy, Remember zom Fear. Again,
you had never heard of any of these people, and
somehow they had allegedly sold more albums than Elvis and

(02:08:32):
the Beatles combined. I think there's an unspoken asterisk there
that probably says on television, right, it had to be
something for them to be able to use that marketing
term in Turkey.

Speaker 24 (02:08:44):
Yes, you've heard his hontingly beautiful music in movies, on
radio and TV. He's sold over twenty million records round
the world. His name is zum Fear.

Speaker 2 (02:09:04):
I would not refer to this music as haunting. Hauntingly
beautiful is how they put it. You've heard him on
radio and television.

Speaker 3 (02:09:14):
No, hear him online. That magical instrument with the unforgettable sound.
Now the is magnificent.

Speaker 24 (02:09:27):
All new collection sum Fear plays the world's most beautiful melody.

Speaker 2 (02:09:32):
Because the beauty, the beauty of all of this is
they're not playing any original music. They're just playing other
people's songs. Someumb Fear plays the hits or whatever. Right,
I meant this guy's dad not.

Speaker 7 (02:09:50):
Too relax as sound Fear sweeps you away into a
world of haunting.

Speaker 3 (02:10:10):
The Rose.

Speaker 2 (02:10:10):
It's playing The Rose by Ben Miller. Yeah yeah, stranger
on the recognize am.

Speaker 3 (02:10:16):
He's alive. Zom Fear is alive.

Speaker 1 (02:10:19):
Wow eighty three and still playing the skin flute pan flute.

Speaker 2 (02:10:23):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, master of the pan flute. Bad
pant flute is what you're thinking of? The pants flu isy?

Speaker 3 (02:10:31):
Yeah, fun.

Speaker 2 (02:10:35):
Remember I'll tell you this though, I like, I like
what they list a whole bunch of songs and then
at the end it just says plus four more songs.

Speaker 3 (02:10:44):
But you couldn't fit those into the scroll. What are
you talking about?

Speaker 2 (02:10:47):
Zomb Fear, Master of the pan Flute, one two thousand four.

Speaker 3 (02:10:53):
Listen, wee can mock. But I'll tell you this name
me another pan flute artist. Good point.

Speaker 2 (02:11:00):
Yeah, it's basically like blowing into the top of a bottle. Yeah,
but I mean zomb Fear. He became, you know, his
name was was never said in any other context. It
was never like zom Fear, pretty good dancer, you know,
zom Fear, perfect pitch.

Speaker 3 (02:11:18):
Zomb Fear, Master of the pan Flute. What was that number?

Speaker 1 (02:11:22):
I want to see if he can still order it?
Is eight hundred and four to one thousand something like that.
Let me say, I totally want to see if I
can still buy it. Can you imagine if they pick
up Hello the pan Flute, Hello zom Fear hotline?

Speaker 3 (02:11:39):
Can I help you? Yeah? I was trying to order
the zomb Fear collection. Who zom Fear? Oh please? I'm sorry?
Who is this zomb Fear?

Speaker 2 (02:11:51):
That the pig?

Speaker 3 (02:11:53):
You know my apologies.

Speaker 1 (02:11:54):
My name is Rob, and I'd like to order the
pan FluTEST zom Fear's greatest hit. Hold on, please, hello?
What are you looking for zomb Fear's greatest hits? I
believe you're actually playing it in the background.

Speaker 3 (02:12:13):
If you, I don't hear anything. I just hear the
beating of my heart in my ear drums. I'd like
it on cassette too, if you If you still have those.

Speaker 2 (02:12:20):
Yeah, we've got because I got the boxes of these.

Speaker 3 (02:12:22):
Things in here. I don't all right, I can, So
what do I do you need? Hello? Hey?

Speaker 1 (02:12:33):
Your your whole music is a bop too? Could you
tell me who's performing that? Because I'd like to purchase
that as well.

Speaker 2 (02:12:38):
That's zomb Fear, master of the harps accord.

Speaker 3 (02:12:41):
Oh I think okay, Well I want to start with
these zom Fear.

Speaker 2 (02:12:44):
Did you call one eight hundred four to one two thousands? Yes,
I did, Hope. Please this is one eight hundred four
one hundred hope Please hello, Zomfear pan flute line.

Speaker 3 (02:13:03):
Hi, I'd like to order the greatest hits of Zomfiar.

Speaker 2 (02:13:07):
Pants all right, I only have copies of Blue Navajo.

Speaker 3 (02:13:11):
And One Fine Day left. I'll take them both.

Speaker 2 (02:13:13):
Oh please, all right, that'll be nineteen ninety five shipping
and handling.

Speaker 3 (02:13:24):
Can you check you want the cassettes? Yes? Please?

Speaker 2 (02:13:28):
Zom Fear only takes doge coin.

Speaker 3 (02:13:32):
Oh he switched? Oh okay, okay? Does he hate trump coin?
Because I bought some of those? I've never heard of that, okay,
it's new. Yeah, I do have some of those. Oh please?

Speaker 2 (02:13:49):
All right?

Speaker 3 (02:13:50):
Do you have it on vinyl?

Speaker 2 (02:13:51):
Actually I can't have it on vinyl. It's sixteen albums
or two CDs?

Speaker 3 (02:13:57):
Yeah. Uh, I'll take you know what, I'll take all.
I want to enjoy this wherever I am. So, how
do you want it on vinyl or on CDs? Both?
And the cassettes? If you have them?

Speaker 6 (02:14:09):
All of them?

Speaker 3 (02:14:09):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (02:14:10):
Please?

Speaker 3 (02:14:12):
Old please.

Speaker 2 (02:14:16):
All right? Your order comes to one hundred and sixty
five seventy two okay, plus forty five ninety for shipping
and handling.

Speaker 3 (02:14:24):
Do you take Diners Club cards? We take Discover, JCB
and j C Penny. Oh good, I have that all right.
It's one sixty five seventy two. Sweet.

Speaker 2 (02:14:40):
That's four albums, three compact discs, eight cassettes and a
special Because you're a value customer signed portrait from Zomfir.

Speaker 3 (02:14:50):
Well, I also, is is he available? Could I speak
with him? Oh? Please those Hey, z Fear. Hi a
huge fan.

Speaker 1 (02:15:02):
My name is Robie Gill, and I'm looking to purchase
all three well your greatest hits, but on all three
I'm sorry, I'm nervous on all three platforms.

Speaker 3 (02:15:13):
Please Hello, what happens on Fear? He's dead? Oh no,
you've count all right?

Speaker 6 (02:15:25):
Am?

Speaker 3 (02:15:25):
I are you still going to throw in that autograph picture?
Because I need that then, now more than ever, I'll
call you back. Thank you, Thank you, this magnificent connection.
He's not sold in stories, please stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (02:15:36):
Wow, that is hot. I've changed my mind. That is
hauntingly beautiful. I want to be haunted by the ghosts
of zomb Fear.

Speaker 24 (02:15:43):
But he's still alive one two thousand or to save
all additional charges, same check.

Speaker 2 (02:15:50):
Or money order for Oh they do take checks. Box
eighty four forty nine, Atlanta, Georgia. So well, Hello, it's me. Oh,
send right now to zomb Fear. Oh you're calling. I
was trying to Yeah, that should be like a porn

(02:16:11):
old liner food. That's zomb Fear, Master of the Skin
flute right there, Atlanta, Georgia. Or money back guarantee. Can
you imagine getting it and going this sucks, I want

(02:16:32):
my money back. They play the whole goddamn thing on
the commercial.

Speaker 3 (02:16:35):
Then you order it. What's the money back guarantee?

Speaker 2 (02:16:38):
That's one of those things that they can promise, but
because they know that nobody will ever take them up
on it, allow four to six weeks for delivery. You
imagine ordering that waiting a month and a half for
a zomb fear master of the pan flute. The kids,
don't you kids don't know how bad we had it. Okay,
so that must not be a thing anymore.

Speaker 1 (02:16:55):
That line or they're all on the line taking orders
of so many all right, Allen Corr show one.

Speaker 9 (02:17:07):
You can always make more money, you can never make
more time, which is why it's weird that.

Speaker 3 (02:17:14):
You voted so much of it here.

Speaker 1 (02:17:16):
That is weird.

Speaker 2 (02:17:18):
The devil take you, sir or madam. I know we
played one drunk caller earlier. Who was calling about that
was today's drunk.

Speaker 6 (02:17:31):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (02:17:32):
No, we had a guy leave a voicemail where he's
just screaming, singing.

Speaker 3 (02:17:38):
Not Brian, not Brian. No, Okay, I don't know if
this is a Maccab song.

Speaker 2 (02:17:44):
I'm playing a band on Saturday night on our metal
show that a listener reminded me of, and I should
I should not have frigten him because the're Chicago band,
but they're called Macab and they did a lot of quick,
loud punk metal songs about serial killers, and they did
one about Richard. Here is a night soccer. I don't
think that's what this guy is singing. But this guy
went off. He left his message yesterday morning, no no,

(02:18:07):
Sunday morning, early Sunday morning.

Speaker 3 (02:18:10):
This guy dropped this.

Speaker 5 (02:18:12):
Hi, my name is Pete and I'm here to sing
the night Soccer by Ruth of Ramirez Sori.

Speaker 6 (02:18:24):
I red run.

Speaker 2 (02:18:28):
To run of fine, wait to bread and someone shine.

Speaker 1 (02:18:52):
Up six and morning six in the morning. I pray
that this man lives in an apartment building. God damn

(02:19:12):
Paul downstairs again shot.

Speaker 2 (02:19:17):
Uh And then that's it. That's all I wrote. Yeah,
that's right, all right, thank you. I'm here Tom calling
to sing the nights Talker Richard Mars. There was a
night Tucker. I don't know who did the song. That's
why I thought maybe it was a cop joint.

Speaker 3 (02:19:37):
But not so much.

Speaker 7 (02:19:39):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (02:19:40):
This is Alex Jones. Oh he hasn't Alex Johnson. Where
has he been?

Speaker 2 (02:19:46):
I mean, I haven't heard anything about him in the
news anything here he is?

Speaker 3 (02:19:55):
He does check in with us occasionally. This is Alex Jones.

Speaker 13 (02:20:01):
White oranges exist if socks can't eat spaghetti underwater. I mean,
the turtles have shells but can't play the trumpet.

Speaker 6 (02:20:08):
So how does that even make sense?

Speaker 2 (02:20:10):
Meanwhile, the moon is just sitting up there like laughing
at my.

Speaker 13 (02:20:12):
Inability to juggle flaming marshmallows. And I don't even need
to mention the chaos caused by the rabbit Squirreld organizing
jazz festivals in my garage. Honestly, if my toaster doesn't
start speaking French soon, I'm boycotting gravity. This rule is
a shoelace made of pure confusion.

Speaker 3 (02:20:28):
Wow, is not wrong? All right? No, not wrong on
any of those things. I'm like a button cuvitcles in
the water.

Speaker 2 (02:20:33):
They turn the freaking rock cage?

Speaker 6 (02:20:35):
Do you understand that rock game?

Speaker 2 (02:20:40):
Crap cads freaking rock bound. I'm gonna say the real
flow for you came wrong? Was he at the Trump
inaugural Alex Jones and all the other boot liquors were
would imagine. So I was gonna say, I think it
petered out for him at the wrong time because he

(02:21:00):
was kind of all these other people really owe him
a debt of psychosis.

Speaker 3 (02:21:07):
For where things are now.

Speaker 2 (02:21:08):
He's been putting in so many decades, destroying his body
and his family and his career.

Speaker 3 (02:21:14):
Ultimately, and for nothing, right, I mean, I guess he
had a good run.

Speaker 1 (02:21:19):
But once Trump is done with you too, it's over,
you know what I mean, Like, once he's had it,
that's it.

Speaker 3 (02:21:24):
There's no climbing your way back in. That's what happened
with Musk.

Speaker 2 (02:21:27):
I think, well what I thought, and maybe I just
didn't pay close enough attention to it. But I always
thought felt like Alex Jones was first he allegedly hated Trump,
and then he loved him, and then.

Speaker 3 (02:21:38):
But he always seemed super thirsty for Trump.

Speaker 2 (02:21:40):
But I was never clear if Trump really gave a
gay frogs ass about Alex Jones, right, I could never
I felt like it was kind of an unrequited love situation.

Speaker 1 (02:21:50):
I think he did if he was useful, right, That's
that's the Trump thing, if you're useful to him. It's
great that I think that that Elon Musk relationship is
going to sour real quick. That needy girlfriend, I mean,
Elon Musk is like a needy girlfriend always.

Speaker 3 (02:22:07):
Just well, that's such a weird time. I last week.

Speaker 2 (02:22:09):
I wish these people would stop trying to convince everyone
that they're cool or funny or it's okay to be
super smart and rich.

Speaker 3 (02:22:18):
Just focus on your companies.

Speaker 2 (02:22:21):
We are giving you billions of dollars in taxpayer money
as subsidies for SpaceX and for Tesla and for whatever.
Why are we all the people who are pissing and
moaning about unelected officials. Boy, they don't care about Zuckerberg
and Elon Muskin and Jeff Bezos anymore.

Speaker 3 (02:22:41):
They do not care.

Speaker 1 (02:22:42):
Allow me to speak for cool people everywhere at one
when I say, why didn't trade spots with any one
of them?

Speaker 3 (02:22:47):
In a second?

Speaker 1 (02:22:48):
If I was rich and I had that type of
a life, I would not talk to anybody about trying
to be cool. I would just disappear into the world
that I had created for myself.

Speaker 2 (02:23:00):
I guess my thought is always there are so many
billionaires in the world, all right, A ton of them
in this country alone.

Speaker 3 (02:23:08):
So many billionaires.

Speaker 2 (02:23:10):
We only know about these guys because they won't shut up.

Speaker 3 (02:23:13):
All the other ones are smart. They're like, I don't
need anybody knowing what I do.

Speaker 2 (02:23:19):
I quietly donate a billion dollars to Nazis or you
know what I mean, like off the books.

Speaker 3 (02:23:25):
That's the way to do it. It's to keep your
mouth shut.

Speaker 2 (02:23:30):
But these guys that have to like try to convince
you that they're ah stop, it'd be so impressive if
they were like, I'm just going to focus on my
companies and really trying to.

Speaker 3 (02:23:43):
I guess when you have that much money, you're just
bored all the.

Speaker 2 (02:23:45):
Time because you've got other You didn't invent anything, right,
so you have other people doing the work. You have
engineers and computer scientists, and you've got aeronautical engineers and
things like that. They're the ones doing all of the
day to day stuff. You're the face of it, and
you're the guy whatever I mean.

Speaker 3 (02:24:05):
Yeah, I don't know. We'll see.

Speaker 2 (02:24:09):
Although Alex Jones didn't mention why do oranges exist if
socks can't eat spaghetti underwater? M And the other day
I was like, why is orange juice the only juice
that gets the initials OJ. Yeah, my daughter's on an
apple juice. Kick, you guys got an apple juice? I said,
you mean some AJ? Just being cheeky, right, and she

(02:24:29):
kind of cocked her head and yeah, OJ is the
only juice that gets the initials for shorthand you go, Hey,
you guys got OJ. If I were to go in
and say, you guys have GJ, they would have no
clue what I was talking about. When I was a kid,
I loved grape juice. All I drank is if it
was grape juice. But you're not going to go to
a restaurant order GJ.

Speaker 3 (02:24:50):
What about banana juice? You can go in and order those, Yeah,
depending on where you are. Hey, do you guys have BJ?
Excuse me, bananas?

Speaker 2 (02:25:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:25:08):
Who hasn't had banana juice? Ladies and gentlemen, we are
experiencing technical diff Could.

Speaker 2 (02:25:12):
You just blend it up to peel and all, because
that's what I would like to have.

Speaker 3 (02:25:24):
That's to be P, not to be J.

Speaker 2 (02:25:26):
Yeah. But anyway, I mean, it's just some stupid thing
that flashed across my mind and probably didn't even warrant
mentioning publicly. But uh, you know, listen, if you've been
with this show longer than a week, you know how
we have become prone to I'll come right out and
say it turn the beverage world on its ears, right.

(02:25:50):
I mean, we've got the Lady roller Coaster ready to
roll out summer of twenty twenty five, and now we're going.

Speaker 1 (02:25:56):
To work on AJ GJ BJ Well, I think we
take hibiscus juice, right, h J.

Speaker 6 (02:26:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:26:04):
Oh man, I had an over the pants hibiscus juice
when I was in Key West.

Speaker 6 (02:26:11):
Why.

Speaker 3 (02:26:12):
I mean, I got it all over my pants. I
spilled it all over. It was so good. Yeah, I
spilled it.

Speaker 2 (02:26:18):
And thank god it didn't get under my pants because
completely different.

Speaker 3 (02:26:23):
That would have been weird.

Speaker 2 (02:26:24):
If you listen to us on iHeartRadio from out of state,
I always like to know where people are. You can
leave messages there for us as well. Mike listens in Seattle.
Ray as one of our Canadian bureau chiefs. He's out
in Vancouver. Eddie listens in West Lynn, Oregon. Melinda's in
Green Bay, Wisconsin. Caitlin listens in Prescott, Arizona. I think

(02:26:51):
she's like a gun lobbyist out there or something. I've
driven through Prescott positively. Boy, you blink and you miss it.
Buddy Josh is up there in Binghamton, New York, and
Brock is our newest bureau chief. He listens in Cumberland, Maryland,
and Rich from Jacksonville, Florida checks in quite a bit.

Speaker 25 (02:27:12):
Allan, this is Rich down Jacksonville, Florida. Listen to back
the podcast. On Friday. You started discussing boba t and
how you're actually a big fan of tapioca boba and
your drinks. You like to chew your drinks and you
like to drink your salads. This is why people get
aggravated to shoe about your food choices.

Speaker 3 (02:27:28):
Sir, hate the show.

Speaker 2 (02:27:31):
See Rich keeping me honest, He's not wrong. I don't
know what to tell you. I like to chew my drinks.
I like to sit my salads, all right. Why would
people get aggravated? I like that choice of words. This
is why people get aggravated with you about your food choices.
Why would they get aggravated with me. I don't get
aggravated at what other people eat.

Speaker 1 (02:27:51):
You're just breaking the norm, that's all yes, and there's
nothing wrong with that. I'm a trend center.

Speaker 6 (02:27:56):
Now.

Speaker 2 (02:27:56):
These are not trends that are ever ever going to
go cast me. But I don't mind a chewy drink.
Are you still drinking the salads? I still am having
squeezy salads. Yes, not every day, sometimes just perhaps as
in a para tief.

Speaker 3 (02:28:15):
That container did not look like a squeezy.

Speaker 1 (02:28:19):
To be squeeze would be like a like a apple
sauce thing for kids.

Speaker 23 (02:28:23):
But it is.

Speaker 3 (02:28:23):
It's like the kids apple the apple sauce.

Speaker 2 (02:28:26):
Oh, it is like that. You twist the top and
it pops off and then you suck your salad down.
There were still thirteen of those escaped monkeys at large
in South Carolina. Forty three of them escaped from a lab,
and slowly they've been scooped up and taken back. Five

(02:28:49):
more were recently captured, and that leaves the number of
loose monkeys at thirteen. I didn't read what they were.
I didn't read what the subject of the research is.
I feel like they've been purposely vague on that research
lab always sounds very sinister. We've all seen enough movies.

(02:29:11):
The play sounds really sinister. The Alpha Genesis Primate Research
Center in a town called yeh Ya massy Ya, massy
Ya MASSI, South Carolina, And so they're slowly but surely
getting these monkeys back into the research facility. They got

(02:29:33):
twenty five of them over the weekend. I'm fascinated by
how you zero in on loose monkeys. They said a
lot of them had ended up at the fence of
the facility, so there was a good number of them
that stopped there and maybe fell asleep or something. So
the initial wave they were able to scoop up a

(02:29:55):
bunch of them, but a lot of them are running
around and everybody that lives in the Greater Yamassy metropolitan area,
this is sixty miles outside Charleston, South Carolina. Two bult
your doors, lock your windows, and be vigilant.

Speaker 1 (02:30:15):
Have they tried walking around with one of those like
music box things, you know, organ grinder? Yes, yeah, I
think that might work. You see them run up on
the guy's shoulder.

Speaker 3 (02:30:24):
Just grab them.

Speaker 2 (02:30:24):
Even if it doesn't work, I bet you would be
able to determine which of these animals was talented.

Speaker 3 (02:30:34):
Yes, you know, I mean they might have. Most of
these monkeys they're they're I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:30:39):
I envisioned them sitting around this research facility with electrodes
in their heads.

Speaker 3 (02:30:43):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:30:44):
But the organ grinder, I don't know. If you know,
back in the day, those guys always had a little
monkey for him. Kids liked it drop people over. But
now I bet that's frowned upon.

Speaker 1 (02:30:58):
They would jump down, rob somebody, come back shoulder in
perfectly trained monkeys.

Speaker 2 (02:31:03):
But I bet you know, given the state of the
culture today and people's thoughts on using animals for entertainment purposes,
that they probably be frowned upon if the guy had
a monkey.

Speaker 1 (02:31:15):
I'm just saying this may help collect them. Yeah, that
is a good idea, even if they just play it
like in a like an ice cream truck, drive around,
play that music.

Speaker 2 (02:31:25):
Of course, if you're really old, you might remember a
news reel from when you were a kid. I'm not
old enough for this, but it's called the Monkey and
the Organ Grinder. This is something that they showed to
kids in the mid fifthal.

Speaker 18 (02:31:37):
And mister Russo come to the pot, mister Russo crinks
his organ and Michel collect.

Speaker 2 (02:31:49):
Now I would like they go mister Russo and Michel
or whatever I would I think it was funny if
the monkey's name was mister Russo and the guy's name
was Michel. That would be great, but I have to
imagine that the guy's name is mister Russo.

Speaker 1 (02:32:03):
People come from far and away to see mister Whistle
grind his organ.

Speaker 2 (02:32:07):
Grind his organ in front of children. He caught me
one hundred feet from the school. If the monkey's not
rubbing himself, mister Russo is gather round kids.

Speaker 3 (02:32:22):
And that is my new euphemism for masturbation.

Speaker 2 (02:32:24):
There you go, I'm gonna be out here grinding the organ, honey,
right there in the living room. Yes, start playing the
master of my domain.

Speaker 3 (02:32:36):
During Michol the monkey.

Speaker 18 (02:32:40):
Almost every day all summer long, Michol and mister Russo
come to the pot.

Speaker 3 (02:32:47):
Mister Russo cranks.

Speaker 2 (02:32:48):
His organ, and michelcting new children and the Almost every
day in the summertime, he cranks his organ.

Speaker 1 (02:32:58):
Oh it's good.

Speaker 3 (02:32:58):
He's supposed top hat. But sometimes sometimes he forgats, and
mister Russell tugs gently to remind.

Speaker 2 (02:33:08):
Games, tugs gently to remind him a typically, can you
watch the monkey.

Speaker 18 (02:33:14):
It's fun for Michel and for mister Russo too, but
it's also work. Or you see, Michel helps mister Russell
earn money. This way, Michel does tricks too.

Speaker 2 (02:33:30):
Yeah, he's just walking around getting money, pennies from kids,
and that's how he makes money. I can't I'd like
to know how the organ grinder business fell out of favor,
because it's not like there's zero skill. You got to
know how to play the organ grinder. You got to
train a monkey to panhandle. Maybe it was just too

(02:33:54):
labor intensive.

Speaker 3 (02:33:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:33:58):
Almost every summer, mister Russo can be found in the
park with the.

Speaker 1 (02:34:02):
Children cranking his organ, and every once in a while
the monkey would get on the line and have to
be spanked.

Speaker 2 (02:34:09):
Is spank that monkey, mister Russo? There he goes kids.
He doesn't want to see. He doesn't want the poor
children to see him chastising the monkey. So he takes
mister Nichol behind a tree and spanks the monkey.

Speaker 5 (02:34:26):
There.

Speaker 3 (02:34:27):
Don't love children. We know you love this monkey.

Speaker 2 (02:34:32):
I don't want you to see me hurting him in any.

Speaker 3 (02:34:35):
Way, chastises the monkey. Oh, that's great.

Speaker 2 (02:34:41):
Children are such gentle souls and don't like to see
animals be hurt. Now he goes behind the tree and
spanks that monkey until that monkey stops wriggling. Anyway, they're
getting most of those monkeys back into that research facility.

Speaker 3 (02:35:06):
Man.

Speaker 2 (02:35:07):
They said that they provide non human primate products and
BioResearch services. Uh, one time, mister Russo's one time, mister
Nichols was sick and he had to replace the monkey.
He went back to the.

Speaker 3 (02:35:25):
Park with the children with a macaque.

Speaker 2 (02:35:33):
Children, I'll be around the other side of the tree
with macaque. Don't do all right, Come on, that's silly,
it's ridiculous. It's dumb, all these stupid monkey puns. But
I like how they keep it appropriately vague, right, these
kinds of companies. Oh, we do BioResearch services. Oh, it

(02:35:54):
sounds great.

Speaker 23 (02:35:55):
What is that.

Speaker 2 (02:35:56):
Oh we drill holes in a monkey's heads and we
figure out if they're allergic to lipstick.

Speaker 3 (02:36:01):
Whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (02:36:03):
So anyway, to our South Carolinian bureau chiefs, especially the
people around the Greater Yamassy metropolitan area, there be on
the lookout, keep yourselves safe.

Speaker 3 (02:36:15):
These are small animals, by the way.

Speaker 2 (02:36:17):
These are Reeseius macaque females, and they are like six
pound monkeys. And they said that these were the monkeys
that weren't being They said they refer to them as
unexposed to research. So these were the ones in the
undecked circle who got out. They saw what was going on.
To those other monkeys, They're like, we gotta get the

(02:36:37):
f out of here, and.

Speaker 3 (02:36:41):
They made a run for it.

Speaker 2 (02:36:43):
New Orleans Saints speaking of them, they were quite pleased
and all the coverage they were getting because of the Pope.
The Pope was tweeting things, and I guess he's a
big fan of the hashtag Saints, and for a lot
of people that gets mixed in with the foot ball tweets.
But when you use hashtag Saints, you get that Saint's

(02:37:04):
logo in the tweet that flur dely is that what
that's called.

Speaker 3 (02:37:10):
And so the Pope was a.

Speaker 2 (02:37:12):
Tweeting about, you know, his Saints, you know the fake
ghosts that are you know, And but he would hashtag
Saints or whoever was doing his tweets, and they would
get the football team's logo right there too, And so
that made a lot of people happy. The hashtag Saints

(02:37:33):
are incapable of being indifferent to the needs of their neighbor,
said one of the tweets.

Speaker 3 (02:37:38):
They just right themselves.

Speaker 2 (02:37:39):
The Saints are precious pearls and are always living and
relevant ah, Man, you thought you had it tough. If
you have any kind of presence whatsoever on social media,
you thought you had it tough. Imagine being this guy
having to come up with this clap trap on a
regular basis. Well, they got the right for the job.

(02:38:02):
On average, the Pope's tweets get about ten million views. Wow,
that's why he's in that new campaign for skims. What's
really under that, Cassock? Your eminence, Alan Cock, Now.

Speaker 14 (02:38:23):
You can enjoy that sickening middle of the night what
am I gonna do with my life feeling in the afternoon.

Speaker 2 (02:38:30):
From Zach addressed to me and the Clint Rattler. I
have to take umbrage with something Rob said during You
Guys discussing the weekend's football games yesterday's show, Slandering the
New York Football Giants. He points out that they bent
the Patriots over twice with quote no lube in the

(02:38:51):
Super Bowl and considers your comments Rob completely uncalled for.

Speaker 3 (02:38:56):
He says, eighteen and one, you jag off. That's from Zach, and.

Speaker 1 (02:39:01):
He has every right and he had and that is
the one big time thing that will always hurt any
Patriot fan. It was the perfect season they lost in
the Super Bowl, So why do I dislike the Giants?

Speaker 2 (02:39:13):
That is why I disliked That's what he means. Eighteen
and man of perfectly perfectly lost in the super Bowl
one year? Was that?

Speaker 3 (02:39:19):
Oh god?

Speaker 2 (02:39:20):
Within the last ten No okay, no, no, let's run
back super Bowl. Sorry, no, it's okay. I didn't realize
that's what he meant by I that they lost in
the im putting it all together. There eighteen and one
New York Football Giants and the so they played the Patriot.
Those two teams played twice in the Super Bowl. Yeah,

(02:39:43):
all right, Uh that's two thousand and eight, okay, yep.

Speaker 1 (02:39:48):
It was the final score seventeen to fourteen, and it
was so there's been a million times.

Speaker 3 (02:39:54):
You mean, not seven hundred and six to eight like
a Browns game. No, no, not like that. Yeah, uh
it was.

Speaker 1 (02:40:01):
It was the only time I can honestly say, now,
I'm a fan of sports, but I'm not a fanatic, right, like,
if they lose, my team loses, sucks.

Speaker 3 (02:40:08):
I'm sad.

Speaker 1 (02:40:10):
This was the only trashing your flat screen TV. No,
but this was the only time I woke up the
next day and it like it hurts, like I was just, well, it's.

Speaker 3 (02:40:19):
A perfect season.

Speaker 2 (02:40:20):
I understand, man, you get it was the culmination of
all of the work you've done all season. You get
to the big game and obviously somebody's gonna lose. One
of those team's gonna lose. But to have a perfect season, yeah,
it's the super Bowl. And there was two of them,
you know, that was the first time, and then they
lost again. I think it was twenty twelve maybe, and
both the Eli Manning. The only time I've ever taunted

(02:40:45):
a player in my entire life was Eli Manning.

Speaker 1 (02:40:50):
On location at Gillette Stadium during the preseason. They were
there like the following season, and he's warming.

Speaker 3 (02:40:56):
Up in the end zone. You know, he's just kind
of throwing the ball and I just.

Speaker 1 (02:40:59):
Started reaman his name, Eli, Eli, and he and he
kind of like, oh yeah, alcohol was involved, and he
sort of like kind of turned around when when he
got the ball, and I said, how does it feel
to sign your brother's contract?

Speaker 2 (02:41:10):
Ohot fired And he just looked at me and he
pointed and laughed and then he just you know, kept
throwing the ball.

Speaker 1 (02:41:17):
But I mean, look, Eli Manning probably I will say,
probably the least talented quarterback to have two Super Bowls. Okay,
Dan Marino has none. Ye talk about all these players
throughout he.

Speaker 3 (02:41:34):
Does have free is atners for life.

Speaker 2 (02:41:37):
He does.

Speaker 3 (02:41:37):
And he was in Ace Venture a pet detective.

Speaker 1 (02:41:41):
And the Giants will always have two super Bowls over
the Patriots, and they will always have the sting, the
the the David Tyree catch that said it. I just
to this day it bothers me when I talk about it.
And that was the only time I've ever been like
ready to puke because you had the perfect season.

Speaker 3 (02:42:00):
It was right there and they lost in that last draw.
God ough Man.

Speaker 2 (02:42:07):
Yeah, well, you know, and I guess I collectively ask,
and I'm sure the question has been posed before, but
I collectively ask Brown's Nation.

Speaker 3 (02:42:15):
Is it enough for them to get to the Super Bowl? Uh?
Or is it too much to ask that you get
there and then win?

Speaker 1 (02:42:22):
I mean, listen, this town again standing by the Browns man,
they celebrate the last guy that won a playoff game,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (02:42:31):
So that's where you're at.

Speaker 1 (02:42:33):
I think getting anywhere, I mean, you get beyond the
first round of the playoffs. I think people are starting
to build statues.

Speaker 2 (02:42:38):
You know.

Speaker 3 (02:42:39):
I think that that's sort of And look, I joke
about Eli Manning.

Speaker 1 (02:42:42):
He was obviously a very talented guy, great player, and
and he won two Super Bowls, right, so you can't
I joke when I say the most.

Speaker 2 (02:42:50):
Does look like a guy who's repeatedly taken a cast
iron pan to the face. He always like that, you know,
he's not exactly camera friendly, but okay, he didn't have
to be helmet.

Speaker 1 (02:43:00):
He looks like that dude like who never was like like, hey,
there's your brother. Peyton went in Super Bowl, you know
what I mean, Like just always the why can't you
be more like your brother? And like Peyton shoving his
face in white dog crap when he was a kid,
you know what I mean, Like that's what I always
saw Eli Manning ass but man again, then.

Speaker 2 (02:43:17):
Again, his brother looks even more like a guy who's
taking a cast iron pan in the face. So yeah,
well good for him. They both have impeccable comedy timing.
And you certainly can't put a price on that. That
Manning cast is incredible.

Speaker 1 (02:43:32):
I absolutely love it, and I love that that Peyton
has balls, and like he went and tried to get
the Pope on for the Manning cast for the Browns game,
like reached out to the post. I think that's I
think it's awesome. I love stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (02:43:47):
And uh yeah, obviously Eli's always going to be Alan.

Speaker 2 (02:43:53):
That makes Eli Manning yet another celebrity who has fingered Rob.
He that's true. He did point at me. Right, he
didn't give me the finger, but he did point at Rob.
Got fingered by little Richard and by Eli Manning.

Speaker 3 (02:44:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:44:06):
Wow, I've never gotten fingered by anybody. And I was
an altar boy for a number of years. You got
fingered by little Richard and and when you were dealing
with that man's hands they were anything but little. So wow,
Eli Manning too, all right, But yeah, the point, I
guess the point does count. It's a finger, all right.

Speaker 3 (02:44:27):
Well, there's some sport for you.

Speaker 2 (02:44:29):
Speaking of Tom Brady, by the way, thank you Zach
coming out of retirement.

Speaker 1 (02:44:36):
What a perfect way to close that email. By the way,
eighteen and one you jag Off is so good.

Speaker 2 (02:44:43):
Tom Brady coming out of retirement for a flag football
tournament in Saudi Arabia hosted by Kevin Hart, who has
never said no to anything.

Speaker 3 (02:44:52):
So that tracks.

Speaker 2 (02:44:54):
It'll air live on Fox Sports and toob and people
have some thoughts on that because it it's not like
either one of them need the money, and it's also
like neither of them have ever done any research on
Saudi Arabia. But okay, what are you gonna do? You know,
they try to get that Saudi Golf League goinging a
few years ago, and there were some guys that took

(02:45:15):
the you know, the big name guys that were getting
nine figure offers, and they were like, hmmm, don't they
throw gay people off of roofs over there? Tom Brady
has no problem with that, and so he's going over
to secure the bag, coming out of retirement to play
in the Fanatics Flag Football Classic in Saudi Arabia next March.

(02:45:39):
He says that his competitive juices are still flowing and
that he's always admired flag football. No you haven't, no,
stop no, And so a lot of pictures of him
next to a guy from Saudi Arabia and he's gonna
go over there and join all kinds.

Speaker 3 (02:46:01):
Miles Garrett.

Speaker 2 (02:46:04):
Is gonna be over there, Odell Beckham Junior, Rob Gronkowski,
Sauce Gardner, Ah Pete Carroll, Sean Payton, Kyle Shanahan will
coach the three teams well competitive flag football. Now you
have to make sure when you're speaking to the people

(02:46:25):
there in Saudi Arabia, the people in charge, when you
talk about flag football, you have to make sure that
word has the L in oh god, yeah, or you're
gonna get yourself thrown off a roof.

Speaker 3 (02:46:36):
Yeah, I Brady. That kind of bummed me out.

Speaker 1 (02:46:40):
I've had a lot to say about Brady after his
retirement and stuff, and I just he's just turned into
such a caricature, such a douchebag.

Speaker 3 (02:46:49):
You have a character of what he's always been a robot.

Speaker 2 (02:46:52):
I mean that that's in large part do I mean
he has he has the personality of cardboard, but.

Speaker 3 (02:46:59):
He is a champion.

Speaker 2 (02:47:00):
I mean, I think it's that it's that disassociation from
kind of a lot of your human characteristics that make
you the machine you have to be to like Michael
Jordan right was.

Speaker 1 (02:47:11):
Once Alex Guerrero got involved with him, That's really when
it all changed and they really just focused on his
training and his eating and his everything, and it almost
turned him into it gets to your point, like a robot,
you know.

Speaker 3 (02:47:23):
But the he did not need to do this. But
I too, that's all. I get it too.

Speaker 1 (02:47:30):
But I understand sock Away as much as you can.
Kevin Hart does everything because who knows when it's gonna
run out? You know, I get it, But man, you
don't have to do this.

Speaker 2 (02:47:39):
He is two years into a ten year, three hundred
and seventy five million dollar deal with Fox as their
lead color commentator despite having none great right he's well
not only that, but like I said, he has the
personality of cardboard.

Speaker 3 (02:47:52):
So maybe he'll get a little bit better at that
TV game.

Speaker 2 (02:47:56):
But you know, he's a guy that you can kind
of PLoP down in the vicinity of sports and people
will go. Everybody's still lend some legitimacy to and again
Kevin Hart says, no to nothing, so he'll host, and
I think I get nothing of it. Flag football has
exploded in popularity with again, no it hasn't, with more

(02:48:17):
than twenty million players globally. The sports inclusion in the
twenty twenty eight Olympics and the NFL's and brads of
the format have accelerated growth. Tom Brady says that he
will bring back the trophy. Okay, well, there you go.
Congratulations for you. Good for you, Tom, Brady. Thomas Brady

(02:48:41):
is out there go for making things happen.

Speaker 1 (02:48:44):
Yeah, the Saudis are just involved in everything now, like
that boxing match, it was just on Netflix.

Speaker 3 (02:48:49):
That was all then.

Speaker 1 (02:48:50):
I mean, it's it's I don't know, man, it's just
really really weird. And I guess I mean, when there's
a ton of money on the line, you just sort
of forget about everything.

Speaker 2 (02:48:58):
Yeah, they have I mean they go, oh, they chopped
up a journalist and who cares. It's a fossil fuel
oligarchy over there. So they just got you know that
they have not they can turn on the fire hose
of cash and you know, get whoever they want over there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:49:14):
So we just had the anniversary of nine to eleven.

Speaker 2 (02:49:17):
Great timing, by the way, you're gonn announce that you're
doing a big thing over in Saudi Arabia right after
nine to eleven, Bud, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 7 (02:49:23):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:49:24):
We wanted to keep gas costs slow. It was like
twenty of the hijackers or something like that. Of course
it was completely supported by Saudi Arabia. Alan Is Manzarto
a cheese or a font boy that.

Speaker 3 (02:49:37):
Is a really good Now, that is a really good question.

Speaker 14 (02:49:46):
Rob.

Speaker 3 (02:49:46):
Is Kyle Manzardo a cheese or a font? Let's go
with h I think it was font.

Speaker 2 (02:49:57):
Manzarto is a font because yeah, right now, I'm not
gonna make him feel good too, you know, irrespective of
what his team happens to be doing, it's gonna make
him feel good, I'll tell you what. Also, in the
world of sports, and you're you're, you're, you gotta pan

(02:50:20):
way out to get this into the frame. There is
a scandal in the World Stone Skipping Championships. Remember when
they had the guy that was accused of wearing a
butt plug to the Chess Championships. Right, there is no

(02:50:40):
degree to which champions in any sport will hold back
to assure their own victory. And the World Stone Skipping
Championships have been rocked by a cheating scandal and for
several competitors were disqualified for tampering. So they get about
a couple thousand people from twenty seven countries and they

(02:51:03):
go off to a tiny island off the west coast
of Scotland and they say that they have rules if
you want to operate at the highest echelons of stones skipping.
I've never been able to do this, I know people
to do I am as giddy as a kindergarten child
when I see somebody skip a stone on a lake

(02:51:25):
or a body of water, because I've never been able
to do it, not even accidentally, really not once, and
so it's something so simple and elemental. And when I
see someone do it, whether they do it accidentally or
you know, I think it's great. But they do have
rules and the stones have to come from naturally occurring

(02:51:45):
island slate. Right, you got to find stones around you,
whatever the land is offering you, and then you figure
out how to skip them. However, the organizers determine that
some of the stones had been ground into a quote
suspiciously circular shape. Yes, Kell homage. It's like rule number one. Wow,

(02:52:14):
this guy out there with a file.

Speaker 3 (02:52:18):
What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (02:52:19):
Nothing? Oh, just finding some naturally occurring slate. Oh so yes,
Uh these people, they a number of them were found
to have, uh gram made their.

Speaker 3 (02:52:34):
Stones a little more circular.

Speaker 1 (02:52:36):
Kind of wonder what the grand prize is for the
stone skipping championships, you know, like it's worth cheating over stone.

Speaker 2 (02:52:44):
Well, but this is the thing when there is money
on the line, when there is some kind of accolade
on the line. Boy, people will cheat, you know what
I mean? I guess always people. There are always people
who will cheat, because what's the downside. You know? You
did have those dudes out here who are like putting
weights in the fish. Yeah, they treated that like it
was like it was the Rosenbergs. For Christ's sake. They

(02:53:07):
treated those two guys like they were guilty of crimes
against humanity.

Speaker 3 (02:53:11):
They were.

Speaker 2 (02:53:13):
Cheat.

Speaker 3 (02:53:14):
There's no cheating in fishing.

Speaker 2 (02:53:17):
The stones are measured by judges using something called the
ring of Truth. They have to choose their stones, and
they use this measuring device to ensure that they are
no bigger than three inches in diameter. The stones must
bounce at least twice on water before sinking. A guy
who is known professionally in the biz as hmmm, the

(02:53:39):
toss master. Well, they called me the toss masterla, and
it's for very obvious reasons.

Speaker 3 (02:53:48):
I am a stone skipper. Oh that's what. That's not
what we think. Before you ask God, don't like solids.

Speaker 2 (02:53:59):
The toss aster said that the judges had heard murmurings
of some nefarious deeds, A little bit of stone doctoring,
he said. And he said it was so perfectly circular
that it fit exactly into the three inch measurer Ring
of truth, and they said they were suspiciously circular. So

(02:54:21):
there has been these stone skipping championships there in Scotland
have been rocked by a scandal.

Speaker 3 (02:54:31):
When was the last thing he tried to skip a stone?

Speaker 2 (02:54:34):
Not in any recent memory that I have. I guarantee
if if you tried right now, I guarantee you could
do it. No way, I've never been able to do
it before, but right now I can do it. And
how you throw it, yes, that's all it is. Just
find a flask stone, throw it and I won't do
it down.

Speaker 1 (02:54:52):
Come on, it's a throw it, I know that, and
get down low side arm it, a little spin off
the fingies.

Speaker 3 (02:55:00):
No, trust me, I know.

Speaker 2 (02:55:02):
It's just nothing that I've been able to do. It's
nothing that I have been able to accomplish or come on,
you know, after the show, we're gonna go to lake.
I'm gonna teach you how to do it. I'll check
that off the bucket list down and all these stone
skimmers who are out there in Scotland, it's for charity.
Last year they raised fifteen thousand pounds. Oh Jesus, they're

(02:55:23):
cheating a charity too. That seems worse, even better, Oh,
Jonathan Jennings submerged victorious last week as the contest first
American winner.

Speaker 3 (02:55:34):
You know what, say what you want, Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:55:37):
Under the current regime in this country, we are absolutely
in the last days of a fading empire.

Speaker 19 (02:55:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:55:43):
Nobody takes this seriously anymore. It's not even up for debate. However,
the first American won the wife Carrying Championships right over
there in Sweden or whatever. The first American just won
the World Stone Skipping Championships. We're not out there doing
anything important anymore, but we are on the map for

(02:56:04):
a bunch of dumb crap.

Speaker 3 (02:56:06):
And what's more American than that.

Speaker 2 (02:56:08):
So that's something that I think we can all be
proud of, these stone skipping Championships, or the first time ever.

Speaker 3 (02:56:16):
An American emerges victorious in that.

Speaker 2 (02:56:19):
Murka mark Easdale, where they have this is the smallest
permanently inhabited island of the Inner Hebrides. There are sixty
people who live on the eye. Imagine you live in
the Inner Hebrides there and you live on Easdale. It's
you and fifty nine other people, and then once a
year twenty five hundred people from around the world show up.

Speaker 3 (02:56:41):
Ah the stone skippers or back.

Speaker 2 (02:56:44):
Oh great, all the Budgie smugglers are showing up. So yeah,
there can be scandal in any professional athletic endeavor. That's
important to remember, and the stone skipping is no different.

(02:57:05):
I saw that our boys Indisturbed got inducted into the
Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Rock.

Speaker 7 (02:57:12):
How about that.

Speaker 2 (02:57:14):
Man, joining the likes of other Chicago and Illinois artists
such as Richard Marx and Enough Zenough remember them. Yeah,
Freddie Dixon blues band cheap Trick. Last year the Smashing
Pumpkins got in Howland woolf They always induct radio stations

(02:57:37):
as well, and among the inductees this year is my
old radio station, Q one oh one in Chicago is
getting into the Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Do you see my name anywhere on their rob as
part of the Q one oh one legacy? Nope, no
you do not, No, not there at all. Our friend

(02:58:03):
Aaron from the I just want to get into one
hall of fame. You will not the National Association of
Retailers that's not going to do anything for me.

Speaker 1 (02:58:14):
Our friend who Aaron from q Pride, their management company,
she was there hung out with Enough.

Speaker 3 (02:58:20):
Oh good for you.

Speaker 1 (02:58:21):
She sent me a text, She's like, what a weird
What a weird weekend? I was hanging out with Enough's Enough.
And then now that explains why, because I know she
was there for that. I didn't realize they were in.

Speaker 2 (02:58:31):
I like the people who name their band and then
work backwards and give their themselves a name. My band
is called enough z Enough. My name is Chip Z Enough.
This is my other band member, Terry Enough Enough. Yeah, God,
Enough's Enough. I mean, you know a couple of This

(02:58:52):
radio station I started at is in the Illinois The
Loop in Chicago r I P.

Speaker 3 (02:58:58):
They are in the Illellinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Speaker 2 (02:59:01):
Two radio stations that I worked for Rob in my
hometown are in the Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 (02:59:11):
Is my name associated anywhere with them?

Speaker 2 (02:59:15):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (02:59:15):
Nope, yes, nope it is.

Speaker 9 (02:59:18):
Nope.

Speaker 3 (02:59:18):
You were part of that radio stations legacy.

Speaker 2 (02:59:21):
Yeah, because they specifically induct radio personalities.

Speaker 3 (02:59:27):
Oh people in the station people. I well that too.

Speaker 2 (02:59:32):
People. I grew up listening to Dick Byondy and Larry
Lujack and John Landecker and Bob Sarat, all these guys
who make no mistake should absolutely be in there. You know,
when I was a kid, I was a Larry Lujack
super fan. I don't think anybody he's from Seattle, but
his entire career was in Chicago, and he retired and

(02:59:55):
moved out to Arizona or something like that years ago.
He died over ten years ago. But when I was
a kid, you know, they were still playing music on
AM radio, and my dad's Ford Ltd.

Speaker 3 (03:00:10):
Only had an AM radio route.

Speaker 2 (03:00:13):
But anyway, our friends Indisturbed are getting into the Illinois
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, along with bands like
Cheap Trick and Buddy Guy in Chicago and Rio Speedwagon.

Speaker 3 (03:00:24):
Our friend Dan Fogelberg rock. Remember Dan.

Speaker 2 (03:00:29):
We've talked about Dan because Brian has called and sung
us Dan Fogelberg before.

Speaker 6 (03:00:35):
Now.

Speaker 3 (03:00:35):
He's from Peoria, Illinois, which a little bit downstate.

Speaker 2 (03:00:39):
For a long time, Peoria was one of the major
test markets in the United States. There was an old phrase,
well if it plays in Peoria, it'll play elsewhere. The
band sticks in the Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
They even put you're talking about cheating it a little bit.

(03:00:59):
They put Barry in there. The guy's from Saint Louis.
They're like, yeah, close enough, East Saint Louis is in Illinois.
It works, so congratulations. Too disturbed and the bad Head East?
Remember Head East?

Speaker 3 (03:01:16):
No, I didn't. Oh god, Head East they had one
big hit.

Speaker 2 (03:01:22):
Never then in a reason for me to put you down,
Head East, they had an album called Flats of Pancake.
I didn't know that they were from Illinois. They're from
East Central Illine. Where the hell is East Central Illinois? Oh,

(03:01:43):
South Peakin. Oh that's like where my grandma grew up.
Oh boy, no wonder my grandma was such a huge
Head East fan. Now that I think about it, I
remember talking to her mind one time. Yeah of course, okay.
I was like, Grandma, what did you think of the
guys in Head East? A bunch of a Gramma?

Speaker 18 (03:02:00):
Come on, and now I must leave you as the
Brady bunch is on and I find four of those
children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 14 (03:02:10):
Get at it. Be careful of what you say, Be
careful in every way. Be careful of what you do.
Big brother is watching you. Be circumspect and discreet, stay
light on your mental feet. One slip and you know

(03:02:34):
you're through. Big Brother is watching you, and with all narratives,
remember obedience paid. And when you watch that davy screens,
remember it works both ways. You disappear in a wink.

(03:02:57):
Unless you can double think, you'll vanish into the blue.
Big Brother is watching you.