Party People, Traffick Pattern, Catch Macaque, Venous Rising, Everyone's Thankin', James Renner, Desserters,

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny Things that you think is funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jimmy Cox all the time, Cox, lother me, Alan Coxshow,
Kicks ash Man, we'll go, welcome to me?

Speaker 4 (00:17):
What?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, I canna see a lot of cocks on TV.
Allen Cox from the Allen CONO.

Speaker 5 (00:22):
I don't know what's about you?

Speaker 2 (00:23):
By Cada, Thank you?

Speaker 6 (00:26):
Well, it would be a crazy so let's take it.

Speaker 7 (00:29):
Coffee, kick it and yo get eight with a nasty group.

Speaker 5 (00:33):
Okay, what do three kicks?

Speaker 8 (00:36):
Tick it?

Speaker 6 (00:37):
Tom dam put you one time ticket?

Speaker 7 (00:40):
What Allen Cox?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be trying.

Speaker 9 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U M m as.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
All right, Hey, what's going on? Everybody? Good afternoon reading?
How are you welcome? Welcome? This is the point in
every afternoon where I take everything that I've spun, that
I've written, that I've surmised, and then I foist it
onto an unsuspecting well not an unsuspecting public, a very

(01:28):
suspecting public. They're here's what they expect. O. Hey, my
name is Alan Cox. Welcome Rob Anthony is here too,
so big, big plans today here at iHeart Cleveland. We've
been talking about it for the better part of ten days.
Today is that big iHeart Halloween party out there in

(01:51):
our suite. And you saw all the preparations for today.
The lights have been dimmed out there, all the salespeople
at their desks. They have buckets of candy, a lot
of food in the kitchen. I am here for the snacks.
I will say that there's a Speederman cake there in
the kitchen. Have you seen there's tables set up out there,

(02:11):
because obviously this is kid centric, and so there's tables
set up out there in the lobby area for what
I can only assume will be fun the games, Oh fun,
And it begins in a couple of hours, right.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, you would think it began at eight thirty this
morning when everybody started setting up for well started.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
They got to prepare Rob, They've got to prepare critically important.
I have walked past Joyann Reardon's desk at least twice
and snaked mounds out of her plastic pumpkin because at
that time I did not feel like a nut, and
so I grabbed a mounds that and that's all that

(02:51):
was in there. But had I felt like a nut.
There were no almond joys to be had. Were the
streamers up when you went to get water in the kitchen? Yeah,
that's awesome. There are walking through that. There are thin streamers.
You feel like you're going to the back room where
they sell the porno back in the day. There are
green and orange and silver Halloween streamers that are hanging

(03:14):
in the doorway to the kitchen. So when we pass
from the main suite into the kitchen, and then of
course you go in there and the big reveal is
there's like rows of snacks, there's there's sodas and chips
and like I said, there's a big I don't know
if you opened the cover of the cake. Nothing's been
eaten yet, but it's a Speederman cake. Spider Man my

(03:35):
I say Speederman because I think he's it just sounds
more efficient. I got you now. Yeah, however, none of
it's been eaten. I did grab a bag of Frido's earlier. Again,
I shouldn't say not for me. I think it's for everybody.
But again, this party is obviously kit centric, and you

(03:55):
know I heard from d Rock who is one of
our regular He messages us lot. He listens down in
El Paso on the iHeart radio app and he's like, Alan,
all these kids are gonna remind Rob of his daughter
who's away at school, and he's gonna be a big ol'
softy about it. He's gonna come around on this thing
and he's gonna be a big ol' softy about it.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
He's part right, He's not horribly wrong. The only thing
I can say is that I did go buy some candy.
I went next door to our CVS and I purchased
some candy for the little bastards.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
We got an email that the owner of BA Sweeties
is going to be here today passing up candy to
the kids. Oh that's something. So if this guy walks by,
guy named Tom, if memory serves this guy walks by
and like knocks on the window, because I haven't been
over to Swedies boy in a long time. They moved
years ago before you got here. I think maybe just
up the street, but they moved into this massive complex

(04:50):
and I haven't been over there. You know, they have
like half a million pounds of candy in that place.
So we'll see if this guy walks in with a
bag full of abbas abbas, hopefully he knows where to go. Yeah,
I went, Uh, I bought. Did you know how expensive

(05:11):
candy was? Like, everything's expensive, haven't you heard?

Speaker 10 (05:14):
Rob?

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Inflation is no more, That's why everything's more expensive.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
A box a variety bag of candy was thirty six dollars. Basually,
I shot some videos so people didn't think I was lying. Yeah,
but they had to buy one. Get one for a
dollar at the CVS next to us.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Right next door one. Yeah, there it is a blue
pop blue. So I get back and Pat Butler goes,
the hell's a blue pumpkin?

Speaker 1 (05:34):
What are you doing with it? And I'm like, I
don't know. This is what they sold at the ghetto
CVS next to it. Well, no, we tell you no.
You know what those are though. People put out blue
pumpkins for like kids with there's an autistic kid in
the house.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh well, so there's a there's a specific meaning to
the I think I'm pretty sure now the upside down
pineapple that's gonna be that's complet lately different. If you
see that on the stoop, that means they're part of
the lifestyle. So I did fill this with the blue
pump They'll do like blue pumpkin nights, so to let
people know, like, hey, there's a kid in the house
that has like a sensory issue or things like that.

(06:13):
So I think that does mean So you think they.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Would tell you that because they would three dollar plastic pumpkin.
I figured, so what I wanted to do I wanted
to fill I looked around for about a half an
hour for bedpans. I wanted to fill a bedpan with
candy and put that outside of the studio, so I
thought it would be visually funny. Yeah, they don't sell
them at this CVS. They said they only carry those
in the bigger stores, which made me sad. Oh, so

(06:35):
I bought this.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's it isn't just the same size as ever, this
isn't a mini CVS down here.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
That's what the guy said. He's like, we don't carry
in a bigger stores will carry that. And I said, okay,
So I filled it with kit kats and twigs.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
You think that guy has ever in his entire career
working at CVS had someone come in asking where are
the bedpans?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
I said, excuse me, sir, and he said, yes, and
I said that where would I find the bedpans? And
he just looked at me for a second, but I'm sorry,
we don't carry those. And I just went, oh, that's
gonna be a problem for me.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
And they turn on a walk away fast. Yeah, oh golly,
I really needed one before I got on the bus.
Where are your buckets in that case? All right? So
I did. I did let my.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Softy side, I guess, kick in a little bit, and
I felt like I should participate. So I did buy
some candy. That's going to be the extent of it,
because the rest of everything that I've seen so far
today has irked me to biblical levels.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
And I think that they got it covered, you know
what I mean, Like they've got it covered. It's not
for us.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
No, literally not, I've not And I also will not
take out of spite. I will take nothing. I will
take not a free bag of potato chips. I will
take a nothing of the cake.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
I've already eat candy, I've already crossed that rubicon. Absolutely
eat my share. Out of spite to myself, I will
do nothing. I've had two mounds from Joanne's pumpkin, and
I took a bag of the little bag of the
I think I said Freedo's, but I took a little

(08:07):
bag of like the classic Yellow Lays, just potato chips,
just straight potato chips.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
I think what I'm gonna do during this I think
I'm going to I haven't come up with a costume
idea yet. I think I'm just gonna walk around and
I'm going to look at everything that we spent actual
money on, and then I'm gonna look at everything we
spent actual time on and calculate that up and come
up with a grand total of wasted funds versus company resources.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Oh, you're gonna be nice guy who's gonna be like
what we've lost in productivity. I am gonna go. That's it.
That's my costume. I see.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I'm going as an iHeart company audit. That's what I Yes, yes, yes, yes,
I will come up with a grand total of waste
of time and resource on this company over the last
two goddamn weeks for a Halloween party for four kids.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
By the way, it's going to be so good. I
kind of took your advice. This morning on I walked
into Hotchkiss's office and yelled at him about the phone screener?
Did you really?

Speaker 8 (09:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (09:07):
What did he do?

Speaker 5 (09:08):
Did he?

Speaker 2 (09:09):
I didn't even know you didn't you don't have a
phone screener? Exactly what? I Yes, of course, that's that's
my first of all, because and this is why I
don't scream all the time, because when I do get
worked up, people pay attention because it's not really on
brand for me, I know. So he was like deer
in the headlights and I was talking to him, and
I'm like, yeah, I really want to get this done,
really really would like to get this done.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
See I threw like the little jab last week. He
was like, hey, shows been sounding good. You've been good
on the show. And I said, imagine how good I
could be if I didn't have to stop dance with
the phone every thirty seconds. And he was just like
it moved on. But see if you say it like that,
there's no getting out of it, and then.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
They'll give you the I didn't even that's still a thing.
Well wait, you haven't. We haven't filled that yet. But
but I wasn't looking for any explanation. I kind of
what I said. Yes, I want to just make myself
very clear with the people involved that this.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Look into it. Let me, let me let me you
know what, Alan, I'll personally look into that. He pretended
to write something down awesome. I don't know what it was.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
He might have written down by blue pumpkin and bedpan
next door at CVS text Kennedy make it his problem,
so I don't know. Anyway, I made it very very
clear what I wanted and then we'll go from there.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
So then they're gonna love when I come up with
this grand total thing over the show today, when I'm
my Halloween costume being an iHeart company on it.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yes, I'm going to find an iHeart logo. Oh, this
is going to rob Where are you going to find
an iHeart logo around here?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
He'll one of those giant sticky buttholes off the wall
and slap it onto my hat.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Well, I think we're ready and we're ready for this party.

Speaker 11 (10:54):
Selling Carr show on one Alan Cox, he.

Speaker 8 (11:03):
Used to describe a school he was a complete.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
The Allen Cox Show one hundred points.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
We got our metal show on Saturday night. By the
way that this kind of stuff makes it move. That's
called two Hours to Midnight. Me and Corey Roticck and
pet Butler curtain around ten pm. More to the point,
I've got one thousand dollars for you here in a
few minutes, about eight or nine to be precise. The
next keyword courtesy of the Buzzard Bookie. You will get

(11:40):
four of those to complete the day here, and then
we'll start it all over again. We still have a
couple of weeks left of money from the Buzzer Bookie,
so plenty of chances for you to win if you
have thus far struck out. Donovan Mitchell. The Cavs go
cold last night. They hand the Boston Celtics only their
second win so far, one to one five. They're at
the TD Garden. The Calves will come home for the

(12:04):
next week. They'll play Toronto, They'll play whoever else they play.
The play Toronto in Atlanta. And you know, but last night,
one five, one five, I didn't see that coming. I
wasn't sure which way that was going to go. I
guess it's still so early in the season that, like
you can't get the lay of the land yet. You know,

(12:25):
they're your kind of things are shaking out. Uh, But
the Calves will come back home and they will play
the Raptors tomorrow night, Halloween night one of those NBA
Cup games, in season tournament games, I mean seven thirty
Tomorrow night's a seven o'clock pregame on the buzzer.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
You're basically looking at a rebuild year for the Celtics, right,
because they had the issue with Jason Tatum. They let
everybody walk to save money, right, So they have Jalen
Brown and then a bunch of people that I've never
seen on obviously on the Celtics. Right, so there's just
this new team.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
I don't have al Morford anymore, do that? No? No, No,
poor Singus is gone.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, like everybody's gone from that that team that they
had last year. And again you understand why they did it,
but for them to come out and look as good
as they did, and for their bench to put to
have so many players in double digits against.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
The Caves, it was surprising. I was.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
I was honestly surprised. Jalen Brown scored thirty.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Speaking of your Cavaliers, you might remember coach Tyron Lou.
Was he their championship coach when they won? Was he
the guy that won in twenty sixteen with the Caves?
That I couldn't tell you ty Lou? I think he was. Anyway,
he's his name is bouncing around in this whole Chauncey
Billups Mob poker game scandal, because you know, as these

(13:49):
ripples go outward and as they get more information, there's
more and more people who they're gonna find we're playing
in these games. Whether or not, it sounds like Chauncey
Billups was kind of a he was a focal point
in the whole thing, right he was bringing people in.
But uh tylu who has been the Clippers coach now
for a minute, they're reporting that he was involved in

(14:10):
one of these games as well. What is your plausible deniability?
By the way, if your name gets in the story,
and if you're a part of the investigation, you know,
because it's going to do some in the court of
public opinion, it might do a little damage to you.
Nobody wants their name involved in this. You figure everybody
in the NBA right now is puckering every time they
see an article about some new information, because you know,

(14:31):
if you were playing in these games or not sure,
you're just waiting if that information is going to come out,
and if you did, it will. But I wonder what
the plausible deniability is I was just playing. It sounds like, well, yeah,
it sounds like Chauncey Billups was like working with the
people who were scamming, right right, that's the implication there.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Then you have others who are just you know, I mean, listen,
you can go sit and play cards with the name, right.
So I think a lot of those those dudes can
just be like, look, I had no idea. I got
a phone call from a friend of mine who asked
me to play in this game. I didn't know. Oh yeah,
so I think some of that can happen, but also
it's not gonna work. Yeah, I think you can try it.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Chauncey Billups and Tyler are real tight. I think maybe
it's just by association that his name comes up, you know,
which sucks if you're that guy, because then you're gonna
be like, no, nothing to do with it. Well uh
you know. And again this is not top secret information.
It's like jamokes on podcasts talking about this stuff, right sure,
but they were like, he didn't play in any of

(15:26):
the games. Both they're pretty good friends. Who knows, because
that's how you kind of keep this stuff top of mind.
But who knows TYLERU coming to Chauncey billups defense. I mean,
you're gonna go to the mattresses if your boys start
getting scooped up in this stuff. You know, Damon Jones,
he was the guy used to play for the Cavaliers,
but he was the guy who was supposedly giving inside

(15:49):
information to people about the state of Lebron james recovery
or how healthy he was. An open secret around the NBA.
Is it Ti Lou who lives in Vegas also loves poker?
How is it an open secret? What is an Oh?
You know, I've heard the worst kept secret. But what

(16:11):
is an open secret?

Speaker 10 (16:13):
Dah?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
You know what's an open secret? What do you mean
by that? Well, everybody knows and nobody knows. Oh, all right,
Maybe you have to know the guy. Maybe you have
to be his mailman to know. He used to have
a place not far from me. Tyler Lou used to
live at a house right on the lake there in
Bay Village. Damon Jones has called Tyron Lou his best

(16:35):
friend in interviews. And that's ty Lewis who put Damon
Jones on the Cavs coaching staff a few years ago
when he was done playing. And again Damon Jones was
a guy with a lot of money problems. You know
that's going to get you ensnared in some things when
you've got some when you've got some komp ramott as

(16:57):
it were, right, you know how like you know, everybody's
got stuff on Trump. So he's for sale, right? Is
he a Russian agent who knows? Probably same thing with
these guys who are kind of financially compromised. You know,
if you need money, you're gonna be a soft target
for these guys. He owed the Bolagio Casino fifty thousand

(17:17):
dollars about file for bankruptcy a couple times in Texas,
Damon Jones, and so yeah, but the ripples of this
are going further and further out, Johnson Porter, Terry Rozier,
You're gonna go a long way. How about those Toronto
Blue Jays, Oh, man, I figure you'd be coming in

(17:37):
hot today. What are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 (17:42):
It?

Speaker 2 (17:44):
A Blue Jays World Series championship would be karmick justice,
the breaks for all this nonsense out of the White
House this year with Canada, right, blue Jays should be
America's team in the World Series. Let's just call it,
and they win last night don't win again. Huh, don't

(18:04):
jink some they could take it all home tomorrow night, Rob.
Game six goes back to Toronto Blue Jays of the
Dodgers six to one last night. Who saw that coming?
This guy? You did? Sitting there on my couch wearing
nothing but my Blue Jays cap, Rob. I want you
to instill that image in your mind. I want you

(18:26):
to burn it into your brain. Now, I'm not a
superstitious person. I would never say that that alone should
be enough to put these guys over the top. But
what are you gonna do a number of former Cleveland
players there for the Blue Jays, not least of whom
Shane Bieber on the mound. And listen, it's an uphill

(18:47):
battle when you got shoey Otani on the other team.
We've seen that, and the Blue Jays are nailing it.
The Blue Jays make the Dodgers look fair and silly,
is what one person wrote. And this wasn't like in
the Globe and Mail, this wasn't in a Toronto newspaper.

(19:09):
They make the Dodgers look fake and silly. I hate that.
I get so nervous when people start start talking too
much smack, But that superstition that's got nothing to do
with anything, but it does because you can prove that
it gets people fired up.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
On the other side, it's not necessarily just fop no,
I know. But when you start running your mouth a
bit too much, that's when the other team gets over
the top and comes out and scores twenty two runs
against you in the next game. Yeah, that's why. Like,
I don't know, I've always been like that.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Just I know, let it percolate, let it come to you.
They're starting pitcher last night twelve strikeouts, so the most
by a rookie in a World Series game in history
making a second start. So we'll see. Game six is
tomorrow night. This guy broke Sandy Kofac this record. Jesus

(20:02):
been around for a minute. Yeah, indeed, so tomorrow night
Game six, the Toronto Blue Jays could be the World
Series champions, my very last team doing anything, and they've
gone all the way roun. Now, you know how much
I love a Game seven. So there's no part of
me that's going to hope the Dodgers win Game six. Yeah,

(20:24):
I'm not that starved for drama.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
But if they do, okay, Now, if it's your team,
you want it over as fast as possible, won't leave
anything a chance.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
I wanted it over. After two games, I was like,
can we just what can we do that? And they
go no, it's a best of seven. And then I
had to do math, and you know how I don't
like to do that.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Got a note in the break Someone's like, oh, mister
mathematician is going to be the company auditor? Yes, yes, absolutely,
yes I am. We got calculators on our phones. I
couldn't die. I couldn't find a sticker anywhere, so I
made one and I cut out a like a thank

(21:07):
you card with an iHeart logo on it, stuck it
on my hair hat.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yes, yeah, I believe that's the traditional auditor's uniforn We
see those people around here looking around taking inventory.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yes, I mean the way these the way these corporate
guys dressed though, I mean you would think like they
look like a NASCAR for this company when they walk
around and they got the they got the heart on
the titty on the shirt, they've got the hat, they've
got the bag, they've got the iHeart logo everywhere.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Well they get they get given all that merch and
so they probably figure out as aware, like we're not
giving company merch. Would you wear it? No? But I'm not.
But I'm just saying like, and I think they know that.
So it's like they don't even bother giving us. I
mean we got backpacks years ago. I couldn't tell you
where that is. Yeah, I never got but I see
people around here rocking those backpacks. Look, that's a functional item.

(21:57):
I get that. But now we're not given Like I
don't wear golf that's just not my style golf shirts,
but some people look great in them.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
I think Curtis put a MMS sticker or something like
a I don't know what something, Yeah for the iHeart
logo bag, which looks cool.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
Well, years ago when they rolled out that new well
the former, Yeah, the shield, the shield, Yeah, MMS logo,
we all got like these fleece pullovers with that logo
on it. And mine is in a closet somewhere because
that I have four billion MMS t shirts. But that's
different than at least as far as I'm concerned, they
never even bothered with iHeart merch for me. Well, you

(22:38):
know what they should do is they should they should
get rid of the second most iconic logo in Cleveland
next to Chief Wahoo for a shield. What a brilliant
idea that happens. Well, sometimes it's changed for change's sake.
I'd only been here for like a year and a
half when they did that, and I was like, Okay,
I have an idea. Listen, I don't run that thing
up the buzzard. That's good. Yeah, brilliant, fantastic idea. Well,

(23:04):
but you can't miss something if it doesn't go away, Rob,
So I think I like to chalk it up to
part of a grand strategy. Okay, Yeah, he came back
pretty quick, didn't He sure did. Alan Mario Lopez's instructions
are getting me into trouble. I've been going to schools

(23:26):
and asking kids if they're doing okay and if they
like to come sit in my car and talk about it.
For whatever reason, it's not being appreciated by the parents,
cops and teachers out here. All right, we played that
Mario Lopez. If you listen on the app, you might
be hearing that Mario Lopez ad a lot. It also
reinforces how infrequently they update PSAs, because he's like, hey,

(23:46):
it's back to school time. Yeah, you know, it's almost Thanksgiving.
But the reason we were playing it was funny. It
brought to my attention because I don't really listen on
the app, so I hadn't heard it. People were like, yeah,
he does a real hard pivot from Hale, it's up
to don't let your kids get human trafficked. Hey, what's
up a smart Lopez?

Speaker 12 (24:07):
Back to schools an exciting time, but it can also
be overwhelming and kids may feel isolated vulnerability that human
traffickers can exploit.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Hell, so don't let your kid get pulled on the
back of a box truck.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Take it from Ice Slater hitting the brakes hard. Yeah,
good for them.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Hey, what's up a smart Lopez?

Speaker 12 (24:34):
Back to schools an exciting time, but it can also
be overwhelming in kids.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
And why him?

Speaker 5 (24:40):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Because he's still so closely associated with Saved by the Bell.
They're like, hey, here's a guy who was on a
show about school forty years ago.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Oh, he's one of those one of the iHeart celebrity guys.
But I'm paying them, so they may as well just
make him read stuff he's recognizable.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Is that true? I would imagine. I just figured that
there's maybe a more contemporary I mean, I guess you're
you're playing to the audience who's listening, not the you're
talking about kids, but it's not. This isn't airing on
like kids stations, right.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, that literally sounds like it could be a commercial
for lunchables in the beginning, you know what I mean,
that's why back to school time and everybody lovess to
build their own party pizza.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
What do you liket better?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Uh, grape jelly and crossables are not getting turned out
for human trafficking.

Speaker 5 (25:31):
Kids.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
What if you find yourself in the back of a
box truck and they kept dropping in gogurts.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Hey, super excited to get you back to school? You
know what, you gotta watch out for people in advance.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Ah, they come at you of the paying fluffy handcuffs.
Ronny on the way, scream for an adult. Unreal. There's
also a big bucket of these all the party snacks
in the kitchen. You know they've got there's waters. Yeah,
there's cans of coke water and they've got like a
little bucket there of Caprice sons. Caprice sound I am

(26:05):
not too good. Let me be very clear. It's Caprice
is just sugar water. But I am not. I didn't
grow up. I wasn't allowed to have them as a kid.
But I am not too good for an occasional Caprice Son.
If it's right there, I'll I'll pop up. I will
poke a straw hole in a bag, Rob.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Is that what does it for you? And I will
suck the poking of the the opening technique.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
I mean, it's okay, it's fine. I like the shotgun.
I poke it right through the bottom. Yeah. Yeah, because
a lot of those Caprice Sons, and and also that's
where your brain kind of freaks out, is a lot
of the Caprice son they're clear. You know, we've talked
about clear sodas before, and it throws people off because
you think you're drinking something that's gonna look like a

(26:54):
coke have that caramel color. But most sodas now, especially
ones that they're purporting to be healthy, they're all clear.
It doesn't matter what the flavor is. They're all clear.
Throw some people off and everything looks like spright. Yeah, well, yeah,
I just forgot.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
I was gonna ask yeah, okay, yeah, I was gonna
ask you something about the Caprice Sons thing.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
But yeah, no, that's I poked the bag it'll come
back to. Yeah, okay, I don't mind the straw.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
But again, Caprice Sons I think rolled out when I
was probably in junior high and we didn't get that
kind of stuff in my house.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
We didn't get Caprice sons or be you know, my
upbringing with food is well documented on this show.

Speaker 8 (27:34):
Right.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
We got my glasses insid the syrup. We didn't get
sugar gum, all that stuff, so we didn't get Caprice sons.
I don't think I had my first Caprice son until
I was probably like in high school.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
We didn't get them because there was just no money
in my house to get them, you know what I mean.
I think any well, yeah, because you had like a
gigantic tub of kool Aid was like a dollar fifty
and that would give you drinks for six months. So
like that was the stuff we had. Wiler's a country
Time lemon tree time lemonade. Oh yeah, I had a

(28:06):
big giant and it sat so long that it would
just turn into hard balls of wow powder in the middle.

Speaker 8 (28:12):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
I I always, for whatever reason in college my college fridge,
I was always drinking country Time lemonade. I don't know why.
To this day, I love lemonade, but in college I
like developed a pavlov In response to it, because I
was always like a anytime I had some marathon f
sashion in college, like post that, I was like guzzling

(28:33):
country time. Good for you, mass. There was a period
of time where like the mere mention of country time
lemonade would make it move.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
I don't even think I've ever gotten tired enough after
having sex to need to drink anything.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
And pink lemonade. Rob, forget about it.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
You don't have to be Fellini to figure that one out.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
I gotta take a break. Hey, three five one night.
That was for like three people the Allen.

Speaker 11 (29:03):
Cox Show on one hundred point seven.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Allen, you have.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Been described by your enemies as evil, insane, manipulative.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Who are you.

Speaker 13 (29:17):
Call the Alan Cox Show two one, six, five seven
eight one double oh seven or one eight hundred three
four eighty.

Speaker 6 (29:23):
One double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
I don't know if there's been any update on those
monkeys in that truck crash down there in Mississippi. That
was on Tuesday, and the initial report is that they
were all diseased and infected, and they debunked that pretty quickly.
They were like, oh, they've got hepatitis C and COVID
and herpie is the mark. So it made for fun clickbait.
But they determined pretty fast. They were like, no, that's

(30:08):
not the case, which is, of course, Rob, exactly what
they want you to think. But I don't know that
there's been any update. However, let me see if I
can make a connection for you. Not far away from Mississippi,
the Great State of Texas, where a monkey is loose

(30:32):
in the rafters at a spirit Halloween. Yes, could it
have been one of the crash monkeys that made its
way with the quickness. This is in Plano, Texas. I'll
show you some video here. Let me do a quick
run here of how long it would take to get

(30:53):
from Plano, Texas from Jackson, Mississippi. Going to take you
as the flow, as the flow cries, take two as
the crow flies, Rob as the monkey runs. Now that's
a six hour trip. Now that's buy car. You think
there's any chance? You know if you were to walk

(31:16):
it as a person, it would take you ten days.
What's to see? The monkey didn't drive? Let me just
ask him how he got there. I've seen monkeys smoking
cigars and unicycles and I've seen monkeys do all kinds
of amazing things. Now, these aren't chimpanzees. These were Crisus monkeys,
but they got loose in a Spirit Halloween. I think

(31:37):
this is just great guerrilla marketing for spirit You.

Speaker 14 (31:40):
Know is bananask a monkey escaped its owner inside of
a Spirit Halloween store in Plano and laur Meredith Oomans has.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
This escaped its owner? By the way, it's still people
walking around regular life in retail situations with goddamn monkeys.
I'll tell you Alan, this is bananas. Oh I just
wanted to go to the store with my monkey, did you?
You can't tell me. I can't support monkey videos to

(32:12):
prove it.

Speaker 15 (32:14):
It just wasn't a diaper a Spirit Halloween story.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
You know what I love the most about Spirit Halloween
is you always see the burned in logo of the store.
It's replaced and then you get to do that little
detective thing. So if you're watching the live stream there,
what is the store? If you can kind of make
out the letters underneath the hastily bolted on Spirit Halloween
to this particular store, I don't know what that store was.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Looks like f oneh No, not fashion f it's two
words on the bottom. Yes, it looks like a U
and s one of those regional stores.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
A giant c up top. Maybe they'll tell us inside
you're at Halloween.

Speaker 16 (33:01):
Store can be a surreal shopping experience, but creepy clowns
and spooky scarecrows took a back seat Monday night to
the real show running around above store shelves. Arlene Pinston
was shopping with her daughters at a Spirit store off

(33:22):
seventy five in Plano.

Speaker 17 (33:24):
My daughter looked up and she said, what in the world,
And she's like, is that a real monkey? And so
I look up and I said, it's got a diapers.

Speaker 5 (33:37):
I guess it is.

Speaker 15 (33:38):
For more than thirty minutes, the monkey could be seen
climbing poles, swinging from wires, and crawling around rafts.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Jimmy Harris works at the store.

Speaker 15 (33:47):
He says the pet monkey got spooped by animatronics and
ran away from a customer who brought the animal inside.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
It was entertaining, and I was like, huh. A lot
of people just stood lost for like thirty minute, like
pall Tiler's bunky Hey got kids trying to catch.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
It, and Plano police were cault.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Would you let your kid anywhere near a random monkey?

Speaker 2 (34:11):
First of all, this is the other problem too. They go, oh,
the monkey got away from their owner, because I garon
effing to you, this monkey was not on a leash. No,
it's these people who not only have some goddamn animal
out in public, but they think it's so well trained
they just walk around with it. I mean, you can't
get a more domesticated animal than a dog.

Speaker 10 (34:30):
All right.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I'm a dog guy, love dogs. I don't care how
well trained your dog is. Put it on a leash
when you're out with it. Now, he doesn't need one.
He's really well trained, and I believe you he's walking
right alongside you. What Animals get spooked and you never
know by what you know. We share ninety nine percent
of our DNA with primates, and this thing still ended

(34:52):
up in the rafters because an animatronic skeleton freaked it out.
It's like, put your animal on a leash. If you
gotta have a monkey in a store. Okay, A fine,
you're you're you're already tender headed. Okay, fine, but put
it on a leash.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
I'm being told it's a Cavender's boot City is the store. Wow,
that is local Cavender's boot City, Thank you so much.
How do they determine that?

Speaker 2 (35:22):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
They said it was one of these seventy jobs I've worked.
Oh wow, okay, Cavender's boot Barn. Maybe not that particular location,
but it sounds like it. Well, it was a giant
sea up top, so it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Dotre and tell us.

Speaker 15 (35:37):
When an officer arrived, he observed the monkey swinging from
the rafters wearing a diaper. Eventually a cookie was offered
to the monkey.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Bar Oh. I was like, please tell me he shot
it down. Please tell me he shot the monkey down.
He took one of those three five costumes. Get one
free gun? Yeah, yeah, right to open up on it. Yep.
You can get a gun in an end cap at
a seven eleven, but you can't have legal weed. Ah, Texas,

(36:07):
you're the best because of freedom.

Speaker 15 (36:10):
The owner and was able to gain control of it.
Arlene Pingston was not there for that.

Speaker 17 (36:18):
It had jumped down on the floor and ran past
my leg and at that point I was like, okay,
I've had a verifying.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
A picture or it didn't happen experience, I've got bigger
than that for you. I've got five videos hair raising
for different reasons. It's like knocking over merchandise, you know, NBC,
Oh my god, hell look at that. It was banatas well.
The monkey got people in their goddamn monkeys just walking

(36:47):
around and sit you know what, it was, sitting on
their shoulders, hanging on to their neck.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
There was nothing about it that was let's make sure
this monkey doesn't go bat as crazy when it sees
a scarecrow jumped down at it.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
The police said the monkey was not injured and didn't
pose any danger to the store as human customers. Well
you don't know that, yeah, right, you've all. Now I
understand these monkey that is a different monkey than like
a you know, a chimpanzee. Those are usually the monkeys
and in the stories that go way sideways, you women
get their face ripped off, that whole thing. These are
smaller monkeys and they're like spider monkeys or Reesei's monkeys

(37:23):
or whatever. But I just guarantee you it wasn't unleash.
He's really well behaved. Okay, And now these these employees
working seasonal jobs, goddamn monkey running around your store. You
got to clean up after it. Well I had a
diaper on. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
It's still making a message. Throwing crap everywhere, not actual crap,
but things.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Yeah, knocking things off the shelves. Could you please get
your hot don't do that?

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Come on, ah, Jesus, are you imagined on the way
and you were like, hey, could you're not bringing your
monkey in here, like you know it's going to be
a problem.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
This is the best behaved monkey a lot of time.
But I could bring my monkey wherever I want. And
then the monkey gets away and the guys looks at her.
What did I tell you?

Speaker 1 (38:05):
I mean, you could have solved the headache for both
of us and this is never happen anymore now were
I told you?

Speaker 2 (38:12):
I told you could have left them in the escort.
Just here's the problem.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
My monkey loved Cavender's boot barn, and so he doesn't
know it's a scare in Hollowa.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
He used to come in.

Speaker 6 (38:23):
Here all the time.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
I'd put him in a boot and people take pictures.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
A boot bar monkey getting boots in Texas on every sidewalk.
Anytime I'm in Austin, there's like people with with the
eight footers lined up with handmade boots. Every time I'm
in Austin, I'm like, I'm gonna buy a pair of
boots because they're so cool well made, and I'm like,
never gonna wear these. Do you have bio? I used

(38:48):
to back in the day, but it was like, yeah,
I was just in Austin in August, and I didn't
see as many of those years ago. When I was there,
I was like, wow, every you know, you go down
Congress Street and there's like all these people set up
with you know, like handmade boots and every so, and
they're not cheap, but they're handmade and they look great.
And every time I'm like, I'm gonna get a pair
of boots, and I'm like, why, I'm not gonna what

(39:10):
am I gonna walk around? You could pull no hot
and I don't. I would look like such a I
don't know about that. Oh dude, you absolutely could. I
can pull off a lot of things, but I don't
know if it's just one of those things. I know
would say I'd spend one hundred and fifty dollars on
them and they were once yeah, yeah, in the back
of my closet.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah, But again, I think you in general could do it,
like if I put on a pair of boots, it
would be I don't even know. I don't know how
to describe what that would look like. I could never
pull off a pair of cowboy boots. Yeah, work boots
are a stretch for me. Hm, I don't work.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Allan people are weird. My boyfriend and I went into
a harbor freight and there's a dude walking around with
a giant iguana on his back, just shopping. Yeah, someone
did that at a bar not long ago, and you
got to remember too. I always feel I'm always ambivalent
about that stuff because, on the one hand, you are
imposing yourself on other people with these random animals. On

(40:11):
the other hand, I assume that these are people who
get no attention at all, and so this is a
way for people to pay attention to them or it's
become an affectation, right, so they kind of reverse engineer,
Oh I need this animal, you don't. You just really
like people looking at you and that's your conversation piece.
And that's fine, and that's fundamentally sad. But I guess

(40:32):
if it's you know, I don't know. I think it
was a bearded dragon.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
The woman that I saw at a bar and she
had it like on her shoulder, and then someone addressed
it and she was like, oh yeah, And then she
got up and went to walk somewhere and the thing
just fell onto the floor from her shoulder and I
was like, well, that can't be good like that, that's
probably isn't good for the animal.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Just picked it up and put them back on. Oh no,
it happens all the time. The poor thing is probably
just like, ah, yeah, that's the thing too, you know,
because people obviously, you know, the whole point of these
documentaries you see are these people who kind of anthropomorphize
their animals, so they treat them like children, and they
they assign all of these things to them that don't
belong in this animal, or they're like, oh, he likes this,

(41:16):
and he likes it. You know, unless you're talking about food,
you don't know what's going on. But you have to
think somebody knows their monkey well enough. Why would you
take a clearly skittish animal into a spirit Halloween right,
leave it in the car, crack the window, put on
some steely dan and anthromorphi you take you assign human

(41:42):
quality obviously, Well yeah, no kidding you don't explain it
to me.

Speaker 5 (41:47):
I know.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
I'm sorry that yeah, given the uh making it like
like it's a human guess, of course, how do you
say that again?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
An, Yes, she's got to know her monkey, and you
know if it's skittish or not. I don't know if
there are any monkeys like that. They're chill, you know,
but who knows. Not Every animal of every breed is
exactly the same people. Stephen can't reminding me of years
ago the little monkey that went viral for wearing the

(42:19):
coat in Ikea. Remember the little monkey in the fur coat. No,
it wasn't bothering anybody, you know, and that that was funny.
The Ikea monkey monkey that was years ago. Is this
there in a little fur coat, Darwin the monkey? It
was in a fur coat roaming a Toronto ikea. Stylish
but illegal monkey found roaming Toronto Ikea.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Looks like the kid in a Christmas story's trying to
put his arms down. Yeah, way too puffy.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yep, living comfortably since becoming an internet meme. I mean
that was a decade ago, so that animal is probably dead.
Maybe not, though you lottle bastards, go well, if you
take it to a sanctuary and it's taken care of
and it's you know, cared for. That's a cock. Yeah yeah,
I'll tell you what. That was a comfy looking monkey,
A Japanese maccock. Let's see how long do they live

(43:06):
Japanese macock, especially in an Ikea. They've got all pushed
out as a jacket like that. As of a few
years ago, it says that the monkey is thriving living
in a sanctuary in Ontario. Well, sure it's up there
in Canada. Darwin was six months old when, wearing a
coat of diaper, escaped his owner's car and got lost
in Ikea. He ended up in a primate sanctuary in

(43:29):
Ontario after local animal control brought him in. So yeah,
these people are like, oh he got out of my car?
Oh did he a Japanese snow macock? Is what it was, right,
that's what you said twenty seven years Wow? Is that
different than the Japanese show macock? Is that a different animal?

(43:50):
This one I think is more for pet purposes, whereas
you're talking about an animal that can perform Okay, yeah,
got it's it's that's a marquee pet. Yep yep. Alan.
My ex's parents used to take their dog everywhere in
a stroller, and it was ridiculous. A couple of nights ago,
I'm in Westlake and I'm going to pick up an
order at a Jimmy John's, and as I'm walking in,

(44:12):
there's an older woman who has pulled up in a tesla.
The woman looks like she's maybe in her late sixties,
early seventies, and she's helping either a sibling who is
her age or her mom who's much older, I don't know.
The woman is on the passenger side of the car
and the old woman that she's trying to get out

(44:34):
is riding shotguns. So that door is open, and there's
a wheelchair waiting for that woman, so she's got to
find pry herself out get into this wheelchair. I don't
know what store in this strip they were going to,
but that was immaterial. What caught my eye was while
the woman is trying to get out, the other woman
has two tiny strollers that she is putting four Pekinese

(44:58):
dogs into. Wow, So she's wrangling these tiny dogs trying
to get an old woman out of the passenger side.
There's a wheelchair for the woman. There's two little I'm like,
what is happening right now? You didn't want to leave
the dogs at home while you took all this on
trying to get a human woman out of a car
who's clearly infirmed because there's a wheelchair. They're waiting for me.

(45:19):
They can't be alone, they need to be with their mom. Well, listen,
it looked like a very stressful situation. And so if
those dogs can mitigate that for this woman, if they
are truly like emotional support for her, I'd be like, okay,
but boy, it looked like a lot of work.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
It look like a lot of work. I'm sure it was. Yeah,
I have two dogs. It's a pain in the ass sometimes. Yeah, well,
what are you gonna do?

Speaker 6 (45:48):
Who?

Speaker 3 (45:52):
This is RFCA Junior calling in with the down.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Cah, we get all the celebs calling the show up?
How about that?

Speaker 5 (45:59):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (46:01):
This is OURFK Junior calling in with an Alan Cox
Show exclusive news update. Uh, it turns out there's a
direct link with liking the song Edmund Fitzgerald and having autism.
Nobody would sit through a ballad about a boat crash

(46:22):
for six minutes unless they have autism.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
What huh? Rom I love this song? Me too. It's
six and a half minutes.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Sir, First off, I was gonna say, I mean, second,
something tells me that that man is not our FK Junior,
because I would think that if you would call and
identify yourself, you wouldn't say, Hi, I'm RFK Junior.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Could I be on I know I'm on a lot
of spectrum? Uh? Could I be on the spectrum? I
love this song?

Speaker 5 (46:54):
I do too.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
It's one of my favorite songs. Wow, I think you
only can sit through the song. It's six minutes and
twenty five seconds long. If we have autists, we have autism.
It make you almost want to be autistic. Great song.
By the way, why did Captain Brainworm do a one
to eighty on tail and all?

Speaker 1 (47:13):
You know?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
They were trying well, they were trying to. I assume
it's just because there's probably full on lawsuits coming. But
that whole like Thailand on pregnant women causes autism. You know,
they're just throwing darts because they don't know anything. Did
they get off of it?

Speaker 17 (47:25):
Well?

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, this morning he was like, there's no direct link,
there's no data that supports the It's like, when did
you guys ever care about data? Data?

Speaker 5 (47:33):
What?

Speaker 6 (47:34):
So?

Speaker 2 (47:34):
I'm curious why he did a one eighty on tail
and all causes autism. They said they were suing, so
I'm guessing that that's what it is. Yeah, but they
know that before they even put that nonsense out there,
so like, why would they even invite that. I don't understand.
Everybody talked about it, I guess. And that's the important thing.
It's not governing the country, that's the important part. It's
the getting people to troll other people.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
And they subscribe to the any press is good press philosophy.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Well that used to be true, the old axiom, you know,
but that got thrown in the dust bit of history
along with the camera never lies and whatever else I
don't know. And he presses good press. Nope, that ain't
That ain't true.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Back when they were only printing newspapers, that was probably true.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
But I love the record of the Edmund Fitzgerald me too.
I love the video going around of the guy who
dressed as the Edmund Fitzgerald for Halloween, and it's just
him wearing a boat that's all lit up and then
he just slowly sinks into a pool. Have you seen that?
I send you that now. But I was like, Jesus
is just freezing because I don't know where he did that.

(48:39):
But if it's Halloween time and it's, you know, anywhere
east of Phoenix, I'm like, Jesus, this guy must be freezing.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
The way he just put his body weight onto the
front of the thing. It was actually very very funny the.

Speaker 5 (48:50):
Way he did it.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
And I don't know where that is. I don't know
how old it is. I don't know anything about it
other than people were sending it to me left and right,
and I think I sent it to you.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Try and think of a song that tells a better
story than this one, like you mean, of a nautical
theme or just just really like in general, like you
start to end, it tells the entire story of this incident.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
It doesn't have to be something like a boat.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Wreck, but something that is that historically factual from beginning
to end and tells this story for six and a
half minutes that you want to hear more than once.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
And furthermore, why did nobody ever write a song about
the Titanic? I mean, that's a much better known nautical
disaster than the wreck of the Edmund Fitzger Here, if
you're watching the live stream, here's that video of the
guy who dressed as the Edmund. It's just wearing a
giant boat costumes. Whatever it's pouring outside. He's in the pool,

(49:48):
sweater sad. Then he begins to submerge the bow of
the ship and then he goes underneath. You know, I
just wondered. It just looks very cold, very uncomfortable, and you.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
Know maybe he originally wrote that song as the wreck
of the USS Titanic, right or r M S Titanic,
and it just didn't sound as cool as the wreck
of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
So he's like, and then came the wreck of the
r M S Titanic. I see sand much. It just
doesn't flow.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
I gotta go with that second second vibe just brought
the song to life.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
There's a there's a sandwich chain that has a sandwich
called a wreck. I won't drop their name, but I
wrote a song called the Wreck of a C's Colon
after I had one.

Speaker 5 (50:41):
The car show.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
One I can Learn.

Speaker 6 (50:51):
An online edition the.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Aeron Kirk shows Alnus davidly Roth handing out candy to

(51:39):
the kids at the party today. You see he is
nice diamond Dave who he's really excited. Cavaliers lose hard
last night. By twenty they're in Boston to the Celtics.
They will start up one of these NBA Cup games

(51:59):
back here home. They'll come back to play Toronto and
Atlanta and somebody else before they hit the road again.
Oh the Sixers on Wednesday, So casby at home for
the better part of the week. But tomorrow night at
seven thirty Toronto against Cleveland. Here on the buzzard seven
o'clock will be your pregame coverage. Hey is Tripper Scott? Hello?

(52:22):
What up?

Speaker 8 (52:22):
Man?

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Oh boy? Hey?

Speaker 10 (52:25):
Remember last time I called and You're like, how are you?

Speaker 1 (52:27):
And I was like, eh, that's every time you call Scott.

Speaker 10 (52:32):
No, no, But I was like, yeah, I'll just say eh,
you know, it's.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Like not bad, but yeah, yeah, it's better than better
than normal for you. That's glass half full, right.

Speaker 10 (52:40):
Yeah right, yeah. I mean that was pretty short lived
because I'm back back, got a off of work with
recurring venus status ulcer with a recurring what venus stasis ulcer?

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Venus stasis ulcer?

Speaker 10 (52:56):
All right, yeah, if you google it, it's pretty nasty.
But the ones that you get on the images, they're
bigger than what I thought. But I mean it's still
persing hell. But it's basically how you know, and people
that are diabetic end up losing their toes and star.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
I was going to say, Scott, all of the I
expected to see some diagram of something internal. This looks
like it's just effing up your ankle or your feet.
This that you're walking around with us.

Speaker 10 (53:22):
I mean, I'm using a cane when I need to
get I this was at the doctor. I was out
today at the doctor.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
And then is this is this a situation where you
eventually lose a foot or what?

Speaker 10 (53:33):
H That's what I was asking and it was like, no,
We're nowhere near that point yet. Okay, trus me, I
take I have to take feet all the time. And
then my friends, I wanta off. If the guy says
he does it other time, maybe you want to find him
from doctor.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
So this is this is all. This is all because
of poor circulation.

Speaker 10 (53:51):
Yeah, and wow, I mean I don't give you a long,
boring story, but I had because of my birth, the
fact that spent a thing in my whole life. And
it's okay, I had surgeries and so I was in
my twenties and it's Jesus Now it's just getting worse.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Worth So yeah, Rob Stripper, Scott's legs are like Highlights magazine.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
I mean that was that. I wasn't ready for that
looking looking at that photo.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
No no, no, man, no, no, no, no, nothing to
be sorry about.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
This is why listen. If that were me, I'd probably
be similarly going eh when people ask me. But okay, But.

Speaker 10 (54:29):
I asked him, so I'm like, what am I supposed
to do? And he's like, I don't know. See if
you can work from home.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
I'm like, I'm a machinist.

Speaker 10 (54:36):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
I can't work from home.

Speaker 10 (54:38):
I don't find another job, but you can work. I'm like,
what job do you have that you can do? While
you're laying down?

Speaker 1 (54:43):
That thing is on you. That thing's on You're on
your ankle, Scott.

Speaker 10 (54:47):
It's it's on my I say, I say, heels just
below what the the ankle heel like differentiation, So like
you have to stand on that thing or it's on
the side of your foot. It's on the side of
my heel, not the very bottom part.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
It's right. I have to walk.

Speaker 10 (55:04):
When I'm walking, I have to like kind of roll
my ankle, so I'm hitting on the outside edge and
that looks really weird walking. So I just I've been
using a cane because it helps, and people look at you,
I think, less funny if you're walking with a cane
like that. Then if you just hobbling like that without
a cane, people think ma chydro SoSE or something.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
They can't like, just cut that thing out of there.

Speaker 10 (55:26):
Oh, I mean, just okay, because it would just be
more that needs to heal.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
It just it can't.

Speaker 10 (55:32):
It didn't start off like it just it just started
from a It just spontaneously opened up because the I
guess the amino acids or proteins or whatever it's in
your blood start dissolving your skin from the inside out.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
So if it they cut, they cut out what's there.

Speaker 10 (55:48):
It's going to be more tissue that's missing that's gonna
have to heal. That will not at least with me.
I mean, there's it's it sucks, man. I'm sorry, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Like, no, listen in a weird way. And I hear
this all the time when stripper Scott checks in from
people that Scott provides a great service for people in
a weird way. In that when they hear him they
feel immediately better about themselves and their own lives. Rob
and that you can't put a price on that. Scott.

Speaker 10 (56:19):
Yeah, I mean, if I can do my part, I
guess it could work while or something. But I told
the claim rep for the short conviscibility, I may, I
shouldn't be talking about this on the phone or whatever.
You have to have a claim so you can get
half half your paycheck at least pay my bills whatever.
I told what the doctor said because I have to.

(56:41):
They said, oh, I can't do the paperwork. You got
to go to a physical therapist. Yeah, okay, But I said,
so what do I do. I just just just to
be a cycle where I I heal and then I
go back to work for a few weeks and then
it opened back up and I just washed and repeat
for the rest of my life until I lose my foot.
And he said, quote, them's the.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Breaks, Them's the break. That's what your doctor said.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
With the Scott's Doctor's motto is hip a violation schmip
of violation. Who cares them's them breaks well at bedside
manner is not u foregone conclusion.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
The heath out of that guy's mouth. Them's the breaks,
You're like, at least if I had a break, it
would heal. Yeah, all right, well what is the what
did you actually call for? Scott?

Speaker 10 (57:27):
No, I had some thoughts about the you're talking about
why the Titanic didn't get a song, but if Gerald did,
And my immediate thought was that it's much more tragic.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
When a a.

Speaker 10 (57:40):
Working freight liner with a crew they all die than
some freaking luxury.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Cruise liner with a bunch of rich aholes.

Speaker 5 (57:50):
Who cares about that?

Speaker 2 (57:51):
You're saying, you're saying that it's you're saying that it's
less sad when rich people die. Oh wow, all right,
I mean listen, at least we're not we're not too
unclear as to what okay, I.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Mean at least he's he's kind of like the you know,
similar to your mindset of it's sadder when pretty people die.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Well, it is because we have so few of them, right,
the rich. Yeah, but we're getting new billionaires every day,
so sure, big picture, they comprise a minority. And I'm
certainly not going to bat for the obscenely wealthy, but boy,
they're just they're spreading like wild wire. Yeah, they sure are.

Speaker 10 (58:29):
And my thought changed as I was on hold. I
thought I was thinking about the movie. You know, I
assume it's somewhat historically acurate, other than the two characters
being made up. But if I remember the movie correctly,
all the rich people got out of the lifeboats, and
the people that died were the poor Irish.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
Well, yes, the people and of course Steerage microcosm of
the macrocosm. Yeah, the people in Steerage are the ones
who die first because they don't have the means to uh.
And of course Billy's Aine just trying to elbow his
way past the women and children. A. Yeah, yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 10 (59:04):
I didn't know that until maybe you said on the air.
Bro was like, I had no idea.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Billy Zain had been shaving his head for a long
long time. He's playing Brando in that new movie. Uh.
And I think it's like a dramatization of Apocalypse now
or something. And Billy Zane's playing Brando. He looks exactly
like him. They barely had to put any prosthetics. And
I haven't seen this. Yeah, So okay, thank you, Scott,
keep us in the loop. Okay, pal, thank you. I

(59:39):
also feel like you know, this audience in their RMG
audience knows him as Tripper Scott and has for many,
many years. But I feel like that that might be
like a past phase of his life, you know what
I mean, Like, I feel like that might be an
outdated nickname for him. We all have fun with it
when it was a bit more jaunt and he was
paying for hose and all that kind of stuff. For now,

(01:00:01):
he's just he's beset by all these health problems. What
was the thing called? But he keeps on keeping on.
Mon's venus ulcer No, no, no, he's got a venus stasis
ulto venais and if you image search it it ain't good.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
So it could be venus stasis Scott. That has a
nice sound to it. Gets better than Stripper Scott if
it needed to be updated. Yeah, that is the saddest,
like that venus I your ulcer venus stasis.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Yeah, it looks so painful, terrible, I mean awful. Even
people I see walking around with like vericos veins or
spider veins. I'm like, oh my god, Yeah, is that
what's waiting for me down the road? Like I've really been.
I take pretty good care of myself. But there's only
so much of that. And again, I don't have a

(01:00:54):
ton of stuff in a lot of subs genetics, and
I don't have a ton of red flags in my jeans.
But something's gonna catch you. But if you go to
your doctor, right and I'm like, Jesus Christ, what's waiting
for me down the road?

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
If you if you have one of those and you
go to your doctor and you say, I want to
take the foot, can they just do that?

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
I think so, because that what they I think that
they would recom I think they would strongly recommend against that,
because they're like, oh, there's ways we can treat it, which,
if you want to get really cynical about it, you say, well,
they're gonna give you all kinds of supposed methods for
treatment because that's where the money is, and blah blah blah. Yeah,
so let's take them at their word and go no, no, no,

(01:01:37):
that's not a great idea. I mean, you do need
two feet if you really want to. It sounds ridiculous
to say out loud, but I mean, if you want
to remain as ambulatory as you possibly can, you know,
I mean, just little variations in your feet can jam
you up. You know, people don't realize, like what a
stabilizer your pinky toe is. Yeah, right. I worked with

(01:01:57):
a guy when I was on the air PBS in Pittsburgh,
gear Ago, like a long time conservative talk show host there,
who was a friend of mine, big guy who's been
long dead. He lost a pinky toe to diabetes and
he got handicap plates from that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Yeah. He's like, yeah, well your big toe controls like
all your balance. To you lose that, you're screwed like that.
It's a whole I just I'm just saying, like it
seems to me if you know that. The next I mean,
what's Scott you figure fifty something? Oh, I think he's
younger than he looks. See, okay, forties I think so
all right, So let's say he's let's say he's my age.

(01:02:35):
Let's say he's gonna be he's forty seven, right, if
you have another forty years to live, right, couldn't you
just be like, man, I'm gonna take my chances on
a fake stick.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
God bless you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
I'm gonna take my chances on a fake stick and
just walk around on a prosthetic foot.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
So I don't have to deal with pain for the
next forty years, like do it now?

Speaker 5 (01:02:56):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Like, I don't know, because I've never had to be
faced with something like that. I probably wouldn't want to
lose a limb, but I'm sure you could get past
like the pain that you're gonna have to live with
for forty years quickly up front.

Speaker 6 (01:03:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I don't know that just that sucks terrible. Alan. There
are all kinds of songs about historical events that are good.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I know there are. I'm saying, I think that may
be the best one. Yeah, which one's better? Would you say?
I think there's one better.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
A lot of people named check Hurricane by Bob Dylan.
It's fine. I never got into that song now, I
of course impartial. Look to New York Mining Disaster nineteen
forty one by the Beg's before they went disco and
they were still really a folk trio. They're basically every
song tells a story. My first big hit was New

(01:03:46):
York Mining Disaster nineteen forty one, and of course in
the Immortal Wards of One Roderick Stewart, I don't take
two and The Immortal Wards of One Rodrick Stewart, Rob
every picture tells a story, yes, don't it. Imagine you
have a hit called That's how much music has changed.
You could never have a hit now with a song

(01:04:06):
called New York Mining Disaster nineteen forty one, which again
was only like twenty five years prior to this song
New York Mining Disaster. Maybe someone I feel like if
you call if somebody wrote a song called the East
Palestine airborne toxic Event. You know, for a few years ago,

(01:04:28):
like a more modern nobody was writing songs about nine
to eleven, you know what I mean, at least not
like in literally descriptive terms. There were tributes and things
like that, but nobody was writing a song. And then
the planes went into the Nobody was doing that. You
can't even get legit protest songs from these dummies anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
I'm being told Alice's Restaurant should be the great. Yeah,
but now that's great, but it's twenty nine minutes long.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
It's also one of those things like Thanksgiving mornig, We're
gonna play Alice's Restaurant, do it right here on the
zard this Thanksgiving. We do it noontime.

Speaker 5 (01:05:03):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
Yep, every classic rock stage, I mean, this station does it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
It's it's just I first worked in calum as a mission.
They were like, and I didn't know anything about it.
I didn't anything about it. And so I'm reading these promos.
They're like, and of course the classic Alice's Restaurant. I go,
what the hell is this? They're like, oh, it's Arlo
Guthrie does a song about a restaurant, and okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
So then I said to the waitress, I said, I'm
gonna go downstairs and get me a piece of pass.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
So I went and got me a piece of pie.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
And I tripped going back up the stairs and I
spilled the pie all over my crotch.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
So I walked up to my lady and I said.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Hey, lady, could you help me unzip my pants because
I put egg and pie all over the front of
my pants.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
And she said, Garlo, you crazy. I'd rather hear you
do it. You know, I've never heard the song. I've
never once heard the song, not once. It's not that's
an eighteen minute version right there. I've never once heard
this song.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
What I just did is if you go to like
the middle of the song, that's how he tells the
story all the way through. Yeah, and then I drove
out to the restaurant where I had to pick up
the garbage that's somebody had thrown out on the side
of the highway, and they decided to tell me that's
the song.

Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
My dad had a guitar, the Killed Fascists. I'm singing
the songs played on Thanksgiving Morningyboddy, Alexander but marsh Meadows
on your Sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Potatoes, Alexander the Great from Iron Maiden's That's a good one.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
To go again.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Iron Maiden is a band that does like these historical
I get, yes, technically correct, but that's it's not like
an entertaining song. It's just a long song about history.
You know. Maybe you could make the case that the
record the Edman Fitzgerald isn't an entertaining song. I don't know.
I just like I like the melody. It's great. Yeah,
Alexander the Great. Yes, it's a history lesson set to

(01:06:43):
heavy metal.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
And then I walked into the kitchen and I realized
that the turkey was still in the oven, and I said,
oh damn it. I was supposed to take the turkey
out of the oven hours ago. And so along came
the old lady and she said oh, you should have
taken that turkey out two hours ago. It's going to
be overdone now. So down the road I went, that's
Alice's restaurant.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Wow, all right, was it a real place. I think
it was in New England.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Yeah, Smoke on the Water. I can get down with
that one. That's storytelling. Yeah, Frank Zappa and the Mothers.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
This song is a restaurant. You're gonna laugh when you're
gonna get into long runs and the restaurant. I mean,
not like I want to be the guy to ruin
Thanksgiving morning for any of our listeners. But I've never
heard the song the song, and that's why I call
the song Alice's restaurant.

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
And then that you hear the crowd reacting to the
things he does. I mean, you know, he is silly.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
And how did that become a tradition on radio. That's
a great, great question me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
No, I mean it does mention Thanksgiving, so I think
that that's probably where it started. But yeah, it's it's
it's silly. It's just a long, silly, silly song, okay.
And I always make up my own words to it,
like I just did there about spilling pie on my crotch.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
Right, Hey, listen, I'll take the Thanksgiving song from Adam
Sandler Rob that to me, that is my turkey. I
eat that turkey, then I take good now. Yes, Thanksgiving
is a special night. Jimmy Walker used to say, Dino

(01:08:29):
might as a full on gen X. That's our gen
X Alice's restaurant. Yes, I know that any stations are
playing the Thanksgiving song on that Thursday morning. But what
are you gonna do? Alan? Maybe Stripper Scott should be
your phone screener.

Speaker 18 (01:08:48):
Oh boy, Elan Cockshaw.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
I was hoping to speak with Alan and Roum. Do
you need to know what I needed or what I
wanted to talk about? Okay, I was just thinking I'd
talked a little bit about Alison.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
Okay, my foothurt? Hello, how's your foot? Cut it off?
I think that might be a good idea. I think
that's a good idea.

Speaker 7 (01:09:16):
Mister Cook is me?

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
All right? Marcella wants to be my phone screen to
remember Marcella?

Speaker 7 (01:09:23):
Yes, mister Cook is me Marcella. I know care about Minnimum? Wait,
I come work for you for free. I answer phone,
I look through window, I are you. I can make
eye contact with you. We throw love at each other
through the airwaves.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
I love you all.

Speaker 7 (01:09:43):
You've beat my dream job. Please hire me. I come
an homebreak, I come sit on your lap and we
hold hands.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
I love you. Okay, okay, cut off. Wait a second.
Why would it be gay thoughts if you're a woman, Marcella, Yeah,
she always got gay thoughts. Doesn't make sense? Does it
make sense? I'm sorry that immediately disqualifies you from consideration
for employment. Ellen. What about the night Chicago died by Paperley? Yes,

(01:10:11):
there's plenty. I like Jack Black's version high fidelity after
his the girlfriend's dad dies brother and I really was mother?

Speaker 6 (01:10:20):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
And I really was? And John is tough?

Speaker 5 (01:10:26):
The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 11 (01:10:27):
On one hundred point seven.

Speaker 6 (01:10:32):
Called the Alan Cox Show. Is that what you want
to do?

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Think about it?

Speaker 10 (01:10:36):
Alan once divorced in him broken.

Speaker 13 (01:10:42):
One double oh seven or three four eight one double
oh seven?

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
Heyre May. James Renner is going to join us shortly.
He used to join us every year, but everybody gets busy.
And you know he wrote a book years ago called
It Came from Ohio. Of course, is a highly renowned
true crime author and novelist in his own right, and
it came from Ohio. Was a great book of urban
legends from this part of the country, and so around

(01:11:20):
Halloween time he'd come in and we talk about those stories,
and so he's going to join us in a bit
for some of that. He is also, by the way,
going to be out on the east side tonight. He's
doing a live reading at the Kingsville Public Library at
six o'clock nor Kingsville is It's a way on the

(01:11:43):
east side, but anyway, James Renner will join us shortly.
Comedian Michael Longfellow will be in here tomorrow. He's an
SNL alumnus. He was one of the people that they
cut a lot of people in preparation for the fiftieth
season or fifth first or whatever it was. And funny dude,

(01:12:04):
I was hoping he'd stick around in that show because
he had a bunch of very funny desk pieces and
what he's doing the weekend at Hilarities. So he will
join us in here tomorrow. How's it going out there,
it's going there are ten minutes away from the Big
iHeart to Halloween party.

Speaker 1 (01:12:18):
So I think I'm giving up on my idea that
I had earlier about being looking my heart No, no,
the iHeart audit joke. All I had to do was
look at the cake, the spider.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Man spider Man cake.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
Yeah, sixty nine ninety nine for that cake really alone.
That's before we talk about the chips or the drinks,
or the cokes or the capri sons, or the waters
or the biblical amount of time that's been wasted by
our employees in this building setting up.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
For this thing.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
A sixty nine dollars cake. Cake was sixty nine. The
price sticker was on it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
Still on it, sixty nine really. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
So I'm like, you know what I'm even gonna get into,
because I'm gonna go from it being a jokey type
of thing to actually getting pissed off.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
But and I know we're goofing around, but that's not
coming out of that's didn't she foot the bill for
the whole thing?

Speaker 6 (01:13:14):
Really?

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Come on? I don't know, man, I gear sure.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
I'm sure some of those dollar store decorations that's banging
around this place, the silly puns and things like that,
I'm sure that those were purchased. A seventy dollars seventy
dollar cake provided by one heats media and.

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
Trump tariffs are no joke. Boy, Now I just want
ugart everything.

Speaker 6 (01:13:41):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:13:42):
Yeah, I'm not in on the joke anymore. So now
I'm just gonna sit here. And I moved my camera
so you won't see any little turns in the back window.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
Get stuff. No, but shouldn't you take advantage of this?
Shouldn't you have a piece of the cake? Absolutely not.
I love cake. I love a soccer for like birthday
cake and stuff like that. That's so good. But now
that I know, like we pay. But out of spite,
that's what I'm saying, have a piece.

Speaker 1 (01:14:05):
No, no, really, And they put out two bottles of
wine out of spite. You won't anything. I won't touch
it out. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan
of Spike. But they put two bottles of the line.
There's a case of beer in the fridge because you know,
nothing said family.

Speaker 2 (01:14:24):
Well there's both. There's a red and way. Nothing says family.

Speaker 1 (01:14:27):
Halloween party like mom and dad getting liquored up at
the office.

Speaker 2 (01:14:31):
Yeah, but mom and dad do that with the Halloween
party at home. Right, You've got to keep you gotta
keep the adults happy. Yeah, put out.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
They put out two bottles of the finest nineteen Vines,
which is the Snoop Dogg wine you could find. So
they are they're really cranking up the class in that kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:14:49):
I'll tell you. I mean that is was it nineteen Crimes?
When I say nineteen Vines?

Speaker 9 (01:14:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Sorry, nineteen Crimes is his wine? Yeah? I think I
saw it at I saw the trayer Joe's Oh yeah,
targets got it classing up the joint. Wow, Well, you
gotta keep a little bit of an edge rop.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
Although they spent their entire budget on that freaking cake,
six dollars left for two bottles of wine.

Speaker 2 (01:15:17):
They spent my phone screen or budget, Yeah, on this party.
That's like a ten dollars bottle of wine.

Speaker 5 (01:15:21):
I think.

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
I don't think it's that bad. I've never had it,
so I can't I can't touch. I didn't say what
kind of beer was it? Did you see the beer?

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
No? No, I saw all. I went in to get
my lunch earlier and then my Celsius before the show,
and just in my periphery I noticed that there was
an unopened because it was taking up the bulk of
a thing. I just didn't, for whatever reason, noticed the kind.
But it was like an unopened big case. I'll probably
get a beer just because you know, why not, although

(01:15:48):
we'll see, Yeah, go for a glass of that top
shelf wine. M So yeah, I think I'm gonna give
up on the audit. That cake thing did me in,
all right, come down to this, hasn't it allan? You
know that the as the lights go out out there,
I prepherracy me.

Speaker 5 (01:16:09):
Quick.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
You know that the one and only Thanksgiving song is
the Bob's Burgers Thanksgiving song. That's the one that I sing.
Which one is that Everyone's thanking the Linda Belcher.

Speaker 14 (01:16:19):
Song, the cramp bad resource for having mashed potatoes.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
Oh, the turkey looks great. Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for being there. Everyone's thanking.

Speaker 14 (01:16:31):
The hall of world's thanking you again for thanking you
kill the turkey.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Yeah, everyone's thanking the whole world's thinking. That's the one
that I sing when I sing at Thanksgiving, which last
year it was just me and my mom and my daughter,
so it was a decidedly low key event. This year,
I've been texting everyone, Hey, who's going to Beware for Thanksgiving?

(01:16:57):
Because my son lives in Chicago now, so I said, Hey,
you going to be around, which is a question I
have to ask because his mom still lives in Michigan.
So I'm like, I figure, you're going home. You know,
my daughter's still at Michigan State, so they would both
be with their mom for Thanksgiving. I said, but if
you're coming home to Chicago for the weekend, I'll hang out,

(01:17:17):
will hang out the whole thing. So I need to
And then I need to figure out which of my
siblings will be around, because my sister's married now, so
there's an extra level of difficulty. So I'm just trying
to determine who's going to be around, because once I
get out there, I have to strategize where we're going
to be and when. And there's always with somebody in

(01:17:41):
my family not talking to somebody else in my family,
and I never know who it is because I'm not
in that loop. So that's how I end up going
all the way home to Chicago for Thanksgiving last year
and discovering that no one's coming except me and my kid.
And so I'm like, I want to know this year,
who's going to be around. Did you ask who was

(01:18:03):
not talking to whom? So that I can avoid any landmines,
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:18:08):
Did you ask about any pre Thanksgiving bombshells that may
be drawn?

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
No, yeah, I haven't reached out to the simbling group
chat on that one. Well, listen, I want to learn
about those in the moment, you know what I mean.
I might, I might play dumb over here on the show,
but I would have wanted a heads up on that
last one.

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
That my mom was dating. Yeah, if they knew and
didn't tell you, I would have been pissed. But this
is what I mean. I'm out of the loop.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
So it wouldn't even occur to them to text me
and say that, because by the time it gets to me,
they're so tired of hearing about it that they don't
want to talk about it to anyone. Because when my
brother finally came out of the house later that afternoon,
I was like, thanks dude forgetting me. I'm like whispering
because my mom's in the kitchen. I'm like, thanks for
giving me the heads up. He goes, I don't eat.

(01:18:52):
I'm so tired of hearing about I don't even want
to talk about it. I go, okay, it's fine. Nobody
could drop me a line. Hey f YI. But again
they were like, man, we figured she we let her
tell you, yeah, wanted to tell you. She wanted to
tell you, hey, just a heads up. Mom's got something
to tell you. Yeah, yeah, But then I worry. Nothing bad.

(01:19:13):
Mom's alive. She's just she's feeling good. This is how
I grew up, right, we don't talk like that. My
mom is one of these. But I didn't want to
bother you.

Speaker 19 (01:19:22):
Well, I was going to tell you that I was terminal,
but I didn't want to bother You're busy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:28):
Mom, what That's why I am the way I am right,
I'm very like, very pragmatic.

Speaker 19 (01:19:39):
Well, I didn't want to tell you that I had
I lost a foot. I had that venus, that venus
states this thing. I don't want to tell you, honey eyes.
I figured i'd wait until you saw me limping.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
Well, I appreciate that, Mom. I am busy. Hey, thank you.
I walk now with a thirty degree list to port cool.
So I'm just trying to set myself up for success
to whatever degree that I can. You know, and I
always say what can I bring? I'm happy to bring
whatever what can I bring? It's always nothing now, I

(01:20:14):
know this, but I still ask because I want her
to know that I'm happy to contribute in whatever. You know,
I don't like because I'm the only one that's still
not there. So it's like, you know, I haven't been
a long time, and so I don't like to just
parachute in. You know, I have a couple drinks, have
dinner and split, so I want to know how can
I contribute in a meaningful way?

Speaker 1 (01:20:33):
And no one really drinks right, like you wasn't that
part of the thing last year was like you were
sort of by yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:20:38):
Well, we go to my brother's house usually the night
before it was like all the siblings. It was easier
before all the kids were grown up, because now everybody's
kind of you know, when your kids get older and
they live in other places, you go visit them, right,
And so my son's in Chicago now, and my one
nephew is in Tucson, and you know, so another one's
in Germany. So I never even know if he's he's

(01:21:00):
in the army. I never even know if he's coming home.
But we used to go to my brothers the night
before Thanksgiving. We all sit around and you know, have
some larfs and get drunk. But we don't really do
that anymore because you know, like my sister is a
stepmom and all that kind of stuff. So it's just,
you know, those are just functions of life. But I
just like to know what's happening. So that's what's up.

(01:21:26):
This is pretty damn funny. What's going on out there?

Speaker 6 (01:21:28):
Man?

Speaker 19 (01:21:28):
There's like three Okay, I'm not dead yet, I mean
pretty soon.

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
From what they told me, it's okay. I just didn't
want to bother you. Mom. It's not a bother If
you tell me, I know, I just you know, I'll
text you. I'll text you a picture of me and
my coffin. Cool. Thanks mom. What's going on? Oh the kids?
I can hear children?

Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Well, no, I just it's very funny what's happening because
there's like three people actually trying to work.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
Dan sit try outside of well people without kids.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
He's just he's trying to get well, you can tell
he's just trying to get something done. He's trying to
wrap up a propos or something. They shut off all
the lights around him. The guy's sitting there working on,
shaking his head like I just I just need.

Speaker 2 (01:22:06):
To get this out. He's illuminated by the glow of
his monitor.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
We got poor Tom trying to do the news in
the back there all the lights around.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
God, dem I can't say yeah Allan. I recently followed
Rob on Instagram? Why did I think he was black? Really?
I don't know why. It's like everybody thinks Ryan Bergland
is black. I'm like, how do you come to that conclusion?
We're on camera every day. We're coming up on the
one year anniversary of Rob as my co host. Wow,

(01:22:37):
you know that's coming up? It's sometime. It's November. Uh, November.
I'll tell you because I saw it come up in
my calendar. November eleventh, Veterans Day. Rob. Also the anniversary
of my vasectomy. Oh look at that fitting. How did

(01:22:58):
I forget that? Balls to another Uh yeah, November eleventh,
the Robs one year anniversary on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:23:09):
Wow, and what a ride. It's Bill Overbouler and what
are we doing? You want to go over to the
Marble Room. Yeah, we'll have the company buy us dinner
that night. I'll buy one year anniversary.

Speaker 2 (01:23:18):
I haven't been yet. You ain't buying why I haven't
even I haven't even been over there. I've never gone
to the Marble Room. They're gonna pay. Oh they're paying,
they'll pay. Oh they'll pay big of buy seventy dollars
spider Man cakes. Yes, you me and Misney. Yeah, he'll
make them. That's random. Yeah right, well just for that
so I could make that joke working.

Speaker 5 (01:23:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:23:43):
Stephen Kanton says, I should bring something totally random, like
a lasagna to Thanksgiving and see what my mom thinks.
That's not that.

Speaker 1 (01:23:49):
Random, my housepal, we have our our Thanksgiving menu growing
up into this day is very traditional.

Speaker 2 (01:23:57):
There's really no curveballs. It's it's turkey and stuffing. My
mom used to make like this bread stuffing that everybody
loved except me and my dad. So my mom would
make a separate thing of just store bought stovetops the
best thing for me and my dad, and we would
house it. Yes, we would inhale stovetop stuffing. Well, if

(01:24:18):
she got this big pan of like bread stuffing that
everybody else is sucking down, I'm like more for us.
Bro yep.

Speaker 1 (01:24:24):
And now that my dad's gone, it's just for me,
so good I will. I will make everything from scratch.
So when I do Thanksgiving dinner, it's it's a two
day process, right, everything.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
You can imagine good for you? Yes, it is good
for me and for those around me.

Speaker 6 (01:24:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:39):
True, you're giving of yourself, your time and your talents.
I will not make stuffing.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
I buy two enormous boxes of stove top turkey stuffing
and eat one by myself.

Speaker 2 (01:24:48):
So oh, it is the greatest thing on the plane.
And the staler it gets, the more delicious it. Could
you let it sit in that pot?

Speaker 5 (01:24:56):
Yep?

Speaker 2 (01:24:57):
You you moisten it with an eye drop?

Speaker 5 (01:25:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
Yeah, scrape it off the side. Oh, it's so good.
I eat it out of the pan, out of the pot.

Speaker 1 (01:25:06):
And then the next day that's when you can start
making those open face Thanksgiving sandwiches and you put the
the stuffing with the turkey and the mashed potatoes and
all the Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:25:17):
I can't wait for Thanksgiving turkey. And I slice up
green olives.

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
On my turkey sandwiches, do you Yeah, interesting mementos or
just green olive?

Speaker 18 (01:25:24):
Do you?

Speaker 2 (01:25:25):
Usel of pimento is fine too, Yeah? Green olive and
slice him up. Get my pairing knife, go to nuts.
Never tried that before. Alan, Even standard birthday cakes are
forty bucks these days. God damn these thanks dariffs. Every
everything is more expensive because of Trump. This guy he's
a real I'm starting to think this guy's a real stinker.

(01:25:46):
That's just how white folks will do.

Speaker 14 (01:25:47):
You the cramp, bad resauce for having man potatoes.

Speaker 2 (01:25:53):
Oh the turkey looks great. Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for being there.

Speaker 14 (01:25:58):
Everyone's taking Oh well, thanking you again, thanking.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
You, Kaled the turkey, Alan, bring a football to have
a catch with you, step Tad. You know what, Ladies
and gentlemen, we are experiencing technical difficulties.

Speaker 5 (01:26:17):
Please standbys.

Speaker 11 (01:26:29):
We will return to our regularly scheduled program momentarily.

Speaker 2 (01:26:34):
Please stay tuned. All right. I used to find those
jokes a lot funnier until it became.

Speaker 1 (01:26:41):
But me, yeah, no, I don't want yeah. And technically,
if someone was going to have a catch with you,
wouldn't they say bring a mitt? Does anybody say, let's
go have a catch with a football.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
Cotton balls? Does he marches to the beat of his
own drummer, cotton ball should go get bent for that joke.
But I think he's thinking seasonally. I get it. It is a.

Speaker 1 (01:27:03):
Yeah going some Brian yep, now you're gonna know the song.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
But I like what he does with it. It's a classic.

Speaker 20 (01:27:10):
If you wanted to be happy, Payrris You're life?

Speaker 2 (01:27:16):
Who is that Tommy James or Jones or something? Everybody
knows this song.

Speaker 20 (01:27:19):
Do you want to be happy pay Iris your life?
Don't make a pretty.

Speaker 6 (01:27:23):
Girl, you're a West.

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
If you, for my personal point.

Speaker 6 (01:27:27):
Of view, get an ugly girl too married you.

Speaker 2 (01:27:30):
Oh what a song, right. I don't know if that
was the one hit those guys had, but it was
a hit. That is fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
He also just to go to pretty girl instead of
a pretty woman. I mean, he just made it his own,
but somehow found his way back.

Speaker 2 (01:27:44):
Just well done, Bryan.

Speaker 20 (01:27:45):
If you wanted to be happy for Irris your life,
don't make a pretty girl, you're a West. If you,
for my personal point of view, get an ugly girl
too married.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
You and I don't think he's married, so it's you know,
those who can't do each I guess.

Speaker 20 (01:28:01):
If you want to be happy for hers your life,
don't make your pretty girl your wife. If you, from
my personal point of view, get an ugly girl too married.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
Jimmy Soul nineteen sixty three. I'll take songs you can't
make today for eight hundred holes. Yeah, but I'll tell
you what it is. It's really the song of a
very unconfident guy, right. And this song has been in
tons of movies anytime they do a period piece from
the sixties. I remember this movie called Mermaids with Cheron

(01:28:44):
Monona Ryder. That was all over that movie. And you know,
so it's a jaunty song, but it's a guy going, look,
I don't have enough faith in myself that I could
have a beautiful wife. I got to marry an ugly girl.
At those two dudes talking in the middle of this song,
and he goes, Man, I saw your wife the other day.
She's ugly.

Speaker 5 (01:29:04):
He's like, eh, she can.

Speaker 2 (01:29:05):
Cook, she sure can. Ugly.

Speaker 1 (01:29:11):
Yeah, man, that girl so ugly. She looked like she'd
been sitting on fire and put out with a chain.
I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every
ugly branch on the way down.

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
I love all the old timey grandpa stuff. And the
guy don't want to work at all. Man, you give
him a job lying down, he get up and quit.

Speaker 1 (01:29:31):
Good lord. If my wife looked like yours, I'd shave.
If my dog looked like your wife, I'd shave its ass.
I'm teaching to walk backwards.

Speaker 2 (01:29:40):
Ever since Billy Jean got single, she's been.

Speaker 1 (01:29:42):
Slinging that thing out of both pant legs. She's been
banging more than a screen door to a hurricane.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
That boy useless, You guys, reliable as a crocheting and
condom man, ridden hard and put away wet.

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
Oh god, ugly woman, your wife.

Speaker 1 (01:30:00):
I'll tell you what I know. He's chubby chaser. She's
so bigger picture weigh five pounds. All that stuff, Oh god,
may be so ugly you want a breastfeed it with
a straw.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
AnyWho? That is a That is a version though of
a one of those island songs, you know, like Harry
Belafonte would take island music as he was Jamaican and
turn it into songs. That was a song called Ugly
Woman from like the Caribbean. Oh really, yeah, I didn't
know that. I think so right makes I mean, it
makes sense.

Speaker 9 (01:30:40):
I'm wanting men be wise, and she was in your
good friends taking my advice.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
The calypso loose for much.

Speaker 11 (01:30:48):
Depends on day one you.

Speaker 6 (01:30:51):
Like happens, come loving why?

Speaker 7 (01:30:56):
But that can only be if you love Zoe My
fellows so if your one.

Speaker 2 (01:31:02):
Will be happy and buckings night.

Speaker 9 (01:31:04):
If I make up for your wife, yo, why.

Speaker 2 (01:31:07):
Am I like the other version of love better?

Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
Adamsons sounds like he said if you like her penis? Yeah,
how would be a whole different song. Trans people matter,
b If you want to be happy for the rest
of your life, take a girl with a penis and
maker your wife.

Speaker 2 (01:31:26):
Waste my time. You can be both used the same loop. Wow,
then think about her to break or the light. I'm
gonna go out and found me. Oh we want to sometime,
gonna I'm gonna want you. I'm gonna be to found
a love woman to the.

Speaker 6 (01:31:48):
Camc's showing long she's good to me.

Speaker 2 (01:31:52):
That's wheys that I'm gonna find me.

Speaker 10 (01:31:55):
You won't.

Speaker 11 (01:31:58):
Show on one hundred.

Speaker 18 (01:32:02):
MMS hugely.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
A wild fire evacuates.

Speaker 9 (01:32:08):
You'd prepare for a hurricane, but there's no escaping this disaster.

Speaker 8 (01:32:13):
It's one of the worst disasters that I've seen in
my career.

Speaker 6 (01:32:16):
He's the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 18 (01:32:18):
I'm one hundred seven WMMS.

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
I will have another one thousand dollars to give to
you here in a few minutes, about nine minutes or so.
It's next keyword from the Buzzard bookie to grab a grand.

Speaker 6 (01:32:40):
Where well for the Chinese menu in his hand.

Speaker 2 (01:32:43):
Author talking through the streets of the Soho podcaster bon
Vivante rack on tour. James Renner is back. I've gotten
so many messages from people. All right, Andrea and Kihoga falls.
I love James Renner. It doesn't feel like Halloween if
he's not on the show. Well, that's sweet. I don't

(01:33:04):
think we had you in Did we have you only
last year? I feel like, was it last year? I
put a curse on the place last year? Maybe for
some reason I was thinking so then I hadn't probably
because I saw you at Poult's wedding. I probably hadn't
seen you since then? Is that what it was? That's true?

Speaker 5 (01:33:19):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:33:19):
Good? Well then I'm glad though I didn't break the
streak because for some reason I had it in my
brain that we didn't do it last year. But it's yeah,
no last time.

Speaker 21 (01:33:28):
Yeah, and that what a wedding like you and Tim
Disney in the back five sheets to the way.

Speaker 2 (01:33:33):
I'll tell you what we That guy is so good
at pretending that he remembers me, that he at least
at the wedding right. He was like, ah, I should
come back or I said to him, I said, you
come back on the show. There was another person who
was texting me every day, Alan, this is my obligatory
text begging you to ask James Renner about his historic

(01:33:54):
kiss with Mike Polk Junior. This was a televised event
back in the day. This was the first man to
man kissy broadcast. Congratulations Wes, yep and yeah No. Two
thousand and one, we went to New York to film
the last episode right of our TV show that we

(01:34:15):
were doing at Kent State University night and we stood
out front of the Today Show and the cameras were panning.
I didn't realize. I didn't make the connection that that's
what he was. And you guys are in the background.
We were right up front.

Speaker 21 (01:34:29):
Yeah, And when the camera gets to us, we start
making out.

Speaker 5 (01:34:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
Oh.

Speaker 21 (01:34:35):
Hour stops reading the news and he's like what He's like,
I guess we're bringing people together here on the Today Show.

Speaker 2 (01:34:43):
Oh little did we know. I'm gonna show it on
the live stream here so people can watch it. This
is two thousand and one. Two young bucks by the
names of James Renner and Mike Polk Junior in Times
Square there and they there's Aaron McBride, Yes, right, Uh huh?
Who was this wasn't man in the box? What was? This?

(01:35:04):
Was Last Call Cleveland, last Call? Clear the rig. Let
me show this here the New York camp come so pretty,
it's great the background of the Today Show. Let me
cut ahead to this. They sweep the God. I hope
that may not there they go. Let mec news today.

Speaker 6 (01:35:26):
We're a back on a Fursday.

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
Morning March between panning the crowd here you're looking as
dropped by outside our window this morning on pretty day
during the Northeast. I got to figure a lot of ladies.

Speaker 22 (01:35:37):
Continuing body okay, bringing people together.

Speaker 2 (01:35:45):
God, And you can't believe like that never happened before that,
you know, it's something you're like it was right there. Yes, well, congratulations,
you're welcome. But James Redder did not rest on his
uh man on man laurels as a or and uh,
we were just I should have as much as you
should have. Yes, but of course a giant in the

(01:36:08):
true crime genre, right, you've been do this for a
long time. I mean it's no wonder and I'm no
different than anybody else where. I'm watching The Monster Show
with that Gaen on Netflix, even though I bailed because
I couldn't handle the voice. Yeah, but all these shows
that are it's it's beyond a cottage industry now. I
mean some of the you know, and obviously they're running

(01:36:30):
jokes on true crime or it's like they really appeal
to women and that's gotta be kind of half joking
when they say, well, they're kind of being aware of
the signs for if their guy flips out or something
like that, because obviously most of those things are perpetrated
by guys.

Speaker 21 (01:36:45):
Yes, yes, No, like seventy five percent of my readership
and audience is women.

Speaker 2 (01:36:50):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 21 (01:36:53):
Yeah, I think it's it's part living vicariously into you know,
this sexy, scary situation and also what to avoid and
to look for.

Speaker 2 (01:37:02):
But I was, I was writing true crime before it
was cool. That's what I mean. You've been doing this
a long time. And I think the reason that it's
impressive is because for it to be done well, it's
so deeply investigative, it's got to be mundane. I mean,
to the degree that you know there there isn't a
plot twist around every corner there isn't.

Speaker 21 (01:37:23):
I've gotten very lucky with some of the stories I've
picked though, with where they do you know, I'm like, God,
I don't know if I have an ending here. And
then I find other police reports and I'm taking ninety
degree angle this other way, and suddenly there's this other suspect.
And so I've just I've just gotten very lucky at
picking picking cases, you know, like the lease a pruit
case out of Shaker Heighth.

Speaker 2 (01:37:43):
Yeah, maybe Mahalovek, your name is most closely associated with that.
I've lived in Bay Village now almost ten years and
you'll still see Amy Mahalovek's you know, name, image and
likeness all over the place for you know, memorial runs
things like that, and it's and I guess my question
is you probably don't have an answer for it. So
it's more rhetorical than anything else. But it's along the

(01:38:03):
lines of like, let's say they were able to shut
the book on that case besides closure for the family,
and I'm kind of of two minds on the concept
of closure, but other than closure, wouldn't do anything right.
I mean, like, most likely whoever perpetrated this stuff, they
themselves probably gone.

Speaker 21 (01:38:21):
We're dead or you know, a couple of things on
that they are testing DNA in that case. Again, and
I'm very optimistic with what you can do with genetic
genealogy now. But also a few years ago I gave
a reading of from the Amy Mahamlevik book I think
in Grafton and it was a great turnout. There's like
one hundred people there. One of the better library talks

(01:38:42):
I gave. And then afterwards, after I completely talked about
this case for an hour, this man comes up to
me at the end and I recognize him as Amy's father. Yeah,
and he's like, hey, He's like, if you have some time,
you want to come over for burger after this?

Speaker 2 (01:38:56):
I'm not sure?

Speaker 21 (01:38:57):
So I went over, we shared a dinner and and
I put that they were appreciative of your role in
all of that. Yeah, yeah, eventually they you know, we
we you know. And but I put that question to him,
I'm like, you know, if they find out who did this,
is there any sense of closure there? And he thought
for a second and what he said was, you know,

(01:39:17):
closures for buildings, not people.

Speaker 2 (01:39:20):
And you know, I just like the way you put that. Yeah,
in addition to the true crime stuff, James has written
a number of novels, some of which have been optioned
for like TV and film and things like that. Anything
come of those. I mean that's a deal where like,
you know, they cut you a check and then they
but and then you hope it gets made. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 21 (01:39:39):
You know the Man from Primrose Lane, my first novel,
which is you know, if you know about Temi mahalivak case,
you read this novel and you're like, Okay, I see
where he's mining all this. That was option for Bradley
Cooper back in twenty twelve, and man, it's been all
over the place since then. It was at Hulu, it
was at Fox, and now it's with a company called
Boulder Light. They did that movie called Barbarian. Oh yeah,

(01:40:02):
Zach Cregor, Yeah, very good. So he did weapons too, Yes, yeah,
So I'm hoping that it finally comes together. That's what's
called being in Turnaround in the movie. And that's but
it came from Ohio.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
Is your book from about a decade back of like
northeast Ohio urban legends and things like that, And that's
what people kind of associate when you when you come
on here around Halloween. Yeah, but you did tell me
you had new store stuff. Okay, do you want to
I do lay something.

Speaker 21 (01:40:31):
I'm always looking for new monster stories from around Ohio
Mothman and the Werewolf of Defiance, and I found a
new one that did.

Speaker 2 (01:40:40):
Is that the genre that they're yeah?

Speaker 21 (01:40:41):
Okay, yeah, and this is Have you ever heard of
the Minerva Lake Monster?

Speaker 2 (01:40:46):
I haven't.

Speaker 21 (01:40:47):
This is a Mansfield story. Okay, Mansfield. Let me here's
here's the write up. This is from Spooky Appalachia dot com. Yeah.
On the night of March twenty eighth, nineteen fifty nine,
three teenage boys had an experience that would etch their
names into the annals of cryptid history. The boys were
exploring the swampy shoreline near Ruggles Road when they witnessed

(01:41:08):
something that defied belief. From the murky dapths of the lake,
a seven foot tall creature slowly emerged. Its skin was
smooth and dark, in an unsettling, armless humanoid form. The
most chilling detail of all, however, was its glowing green eyes,
which seemed to pierce the night. Its large web feet
were visible as it moved across the water's edge. Terrified

(01:41:30):
the boys fled, their hearts pounding as they rushed to
report the encounter to local authorities. The police, intrigued by
the strange claims, ventured to the lake to investigate the
bizarre reports. When they arrived, they were shocked to find
a series of webbed footprints along the shoreline, footprints resembling
those of.

Speaker 2 (01:41:47):
A skin diver.

Speaker 21 (01:41:48):
This discovery added weight to the boy's terrifying tale, suggesting
that something with large webbed feet had indeed been lurking
in the area, its movements leaving an undeniable mark in
the mud. The creature was to have been seen again
in nineteen sixty three by a group of campers one
evening in June. According to the account, the group was
near the lake when they noticed a creature in the water.

(01:42:09):
They described it as having a long, twenty feet long,
serpent like body, large eyes, and smooth, dark skin. The campers,
who were startled by the site, quickly left the area
and the local police were notified. Over the following days,
other people in the area reported seeing unusual disturbances in
the water and strange figures at the edge of the lake.

(01:42:29):
Some local residents began to believe that this creature might
be an undiscovered species of a large aquatic reptile, though
no physical evidence of the monster was ever frowned.

Speaker 2 (01:42:39):
So you have to think that live in northeast Ohio
because the lake is right there. A lot of these
things really do lend themselves to like nautical monsters. Yeah,
not a lot of land animals that are.

Speaker 21 (01:42:52):
Yes, yeah, yeah, we do have like grassmen and dog
men and bigfoot still yeah yeah, but yeah, a lot
of aquatic animals. And I do believe there's enough evidence
to suggest that there probably was some sort of large
lizard or reptile from our ancient past that might have survived,

(01:43:12):
you know, in in groups, small little groups until the
last hundred or two hundred years.

Speaker 2 (01:43:17):
So these are things that these you know, because there
there are people who believe very strongly in these kinds
of creatures that they're out there. They believe in sasquatch,
they believe in and for a lot of people, their
thought processes, well, these stories have been around for so long,
how could they not be real? Right? And my thought
is always like, well, there's you know, oral history and

(01:43:39):
things like that can go a long long time.

Speaker 5 (01:43:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:43:42):
Interestingly, you say that I have another story Hey, good,
I didn't. I wasn't even setting that up that you
set that up pretty Yeah. Well, we have local stories
from the area from the Native American tribes that used
to live here.

Speaker 1 (01:43:57):
That's interesting. Have you ever heard of the yah Quahwee.
I've never heard of the yah Quahwei. No, it's a
Lenape legend, Okay, Lenape. Yeah, they were Native Americans of Ohio.
They had stories, mythos about how the Ohio Valley was
once overrun by packs of massive beasts with skin so

(01:44:20):
strong and hard that the sharpest spears could not penetrate it.
The Great Spirit was forced to eradicate these monsters, leaving
behind only their bones. Now we now know that the
yah Quahwei were actually mastodons, and that this tale was
likely passed through ten thousand years of oral history of
the Lenape people.

Speaker 6 (01:44:41):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:44:43):
Oral history, I mean, that's what accounts for religion, That's
what accounts for you know, all creatures, big and small.
I guess some bush gets burned by a streak of lightning,
you know, a couple thousand years ago. Suddenly it becomes
a big deal. Yeah, that's right, James Runner Is And
the book was called it came from Ohio, these renewer

(01:45:03):
stories from that. Is there another version of that book?
I mean, is that kind of one and done for that?
Or did you We've been talking about it.

Speaker 21 (01:45:10):
I mean my publisher and friend here in Cleveland, David Gray,
every time we have a book and get together, he's like, hey,
we got to do more. It came from Ohio, and
I do want to get back to it. Is there
just fun?

Speaker 2 (01:45:22):
I mean there, Yeah, I'm sure that there are a
lot less taxing to do. You know, it's probably a
nice kind of respite from all the other stuff.

Speaker 21 (01:45:30):
It's sohow it cleanser. It's so much more fun. And
I get to pretend to be Fox Moulder for a while. Yes,
because I'm like driving out to these far flung locations
and I'm like, tell me about the frog monster you
saw in nineteen seventy three.

Speaker 2 (01:45:42):
Yeah, and people will tell you. They'll love to tell you.

Speaker 18 (01:45:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:46):
People love their their local legends. Well also, I think
that to me. You know, we talk about true crime
and what's the allure of that, and it's a little
bit more maybe more bid curiosity. But the things like
cryptids and things like that. Even though I don't purs
like believe in their existence. The interesting part is how
much legitimate history is wrapped up in them. Yeah.

Speaker 21 (01:46:06):
Absolutely, like the melon heads of Kirtland, which everybody you know,
it's one of the more popular local legends around here
that there are these three feet tall monsters around Kirtland
that travel in the woods and have these ginormous heads
and eat people's chickens.

Speaker 2 (01:46:23):
And out there by the hold in Arboretum they're in
they're in the woods near there. Yeah.

Speaker 21 (01:46:28):
But the seed, and this is one of the cool
things about it, came from Ohio because I look at
these stories and try to go into it like an
investigative journalists would do, and try to find where that
story came from. And I did find that that story
originates about over a little over one hundred years ago.
There was a doctor who lived out on Wisner Road
who had a son that had hydrocephalus water in the

(01:46:51):
brain and it gave him an abnormally large skull. And
he didn't go to normal school, but during the day
he would stand out by the road and wave to
people as they as they passed by. So you know,
that's the seed of the story. And then over one
hundred years, it became the melon Heads of kurtlind.

Speaker 2 (01:47:07):
And a lot of those things. Obviously the mundane part
comes with like the more information and that we have,
the less those things become a pertinent to people that
are like, oh, the kid had a medical condition rather
than some otherworldly thing. But doesn't make the stories any
less fun, right, because those kind of continue and evolve.
And you're at the Kingsville Public Library tonight, I am okay, now,

(01:47:28):
what are you doing that's at six o'clock tonight? What
are you doing there?

Speaker 21 (01:47:31):
I Am going to be talking about the Lisa Pruitt,
the unsolved Murder of Lisa pruit YEP nineteen ninety case,
a sixteen year old girl found stabbed to death behind
a mansion at South Woodland and Lee. And that was
one of those stories that you know, like you say,
there's it's hard to find a story with a good twist,
and that one when I finally got around to writing

(01:47:51):
the book, I found a hell of a twist towards
the end.

Speaker 2 (01:47:54):
So what's the name of the book? Little Crazy Chill,
Little Crazy Children?

Speaker 5 (01:47:58):
Kay?

Speaker 21 (01:47:59):
And yeah, I'll be reading from my latest book, Scout Camp,
which came out in March tell me about Scout camp,
because yeah, it sounds like there's plenty of fodder with
the Boy Scouts. Yeah, it is about the scandal within
the Boy Scouts, but it's mostly about when it tells
the story of when I was a camp counselor at
the largest Boy Scout camp in Ohio seven Ranges, back

(01:48:22):
in nineteen ninety five, when I was seventeen years old
and a young man ended up dead under mysterious circumstances.
And so thirty years later I go back and have
to track down my old friends to figure out exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:48:35):
This was while you were there. Yeah, yeah, okay, what
happened and why?

Speaker 21 (01:48:38):
And it turns out it kind of intersects with a
secret society that was operating inside the camp.

Speaker 2 (01:48:44):
As crazy as that sounds, I was going to say,
so that's something that to the untrained ear, you'd go, well,
that can't be right, right, And then you dig it
out and you're like, oh, unfortunately it is Scout camp, sex, death,
and secret societies inside the Boy Scouts of America. You
had me at sex and death, but the uh uh?

Speaker 1 (01:49:07):
And so you're still doing the podcast that I was
listening to it for a while and Uh. I've got
a couple of podcasts, The Philosophy of Crime, yeah and
True Crime this week. And my next book comes out
next summer, and that's on the unsolved Disappearance of Amy
Lynn Bradley, who's a twenty woman young woman who went
missing off a cruise ship in the Caribbean in nineteen

(01:49:28):
ninety eight. And that's that was. That was a wild ride.

Speaker 21 (01:49:32):
As far as researching took me to the Caribbean, I
got to take a cruise and write it off.

Speaker 2 (01:49:39):
So are they are these stories?

Speaker 5 (01:49:40):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:49:41):
These are stories that you're always kind of calmbing for
things that are not yet solved or that you know,
are any of them things that people submit to you,
like fans go, hey, this might be I think.

Speaker 21 (01:49:52):
As Lotty was put on my radar by one of
one of my readers. Yeah, and uh, and I just
became fascinated with that, and the Netflix made a documentary
about it back in August that got really big. So
but yeah, that one, I had so many adventures with it.
I had to I flew to Grenada to track down
the lead suspect in that case, who turned out to

(01:50:13):
be an exorcist. So that was a that was a
fun little adventure.

Speaker 2 (01:50:18):
This is this is a self styled person or a
former clergy or what was it.

Speaker 21 (01:50:22):
He's in the clergy on the island and they have
that's an island that's deep into what's called obia, which
is a form of essentially voodoo. Okay, but it's outlawed
on the islands in the Santa Ria family, that kind
of thing. Yeah, so they dress it up in Catholicism
and Christianity yep, to get by. And he works as
an exorcist on the island.

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
And does he have a pretty good closure rate or
is he he's out there? Well according to him, yeah,
according to him, there isn't one untapped demon on this
island that I haven't dealt with. James Renner is if
you're out on the east side tonight at six o'clock,
he's going to be doing and a reading of Little
Crazy Children and discussing true crime the Kingsville Public Library,

(01:51:05):
that is tonight. What's the website? You got a website
whereverybody can go, right James Renner dot com. Yeah, there
you go. Good to see p L. Thanks thanks for
coming in. It's not Halloween without James render. That's what
everybody said, and they were right one more time the
Allen Carr Show.

Speaker 6 (01:51:22):
On one hundred point seven called the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 22 (01:51:28):
I'm sure to work for people on vacation when they
don't have to do something, but I can't imagine it
working on a day to day basis.

Speaker 13 (01:51:34):
You want six five seven, eight one double oh seven
or eight one double o seven.

Speaker 2 (01:52:07):
Some World War One soldier threw a message in a
bottle and they just found it washed up on a
beach in Australia. I love those kinds of stories to say,
because they've you'd think that it would have just obviously
it's you know, oceans and seas are huge, but a

(01:52:27):
note to his mother, dear mother, having a real good
time food is real good too. So far, I've opened
up my first kind of spam. It is a wonderful
Ham type meal, a Ham type. He was heading to
a message in a.

Speaker 1 (01:52:45):
Bottom alot to one hold on, Hold on Home.

Speaker 2 (01:52:49):
The treasure was fit. No, sorry, I had something else
going in the background there. I still had my creepy
James Renner music going there.

Speaker 16 (01:53:00):
Do you think, my goodness, he didn't even really know
what he was heading to.

Speaker 2 (01:53:03):
A message in a bottle?

Speaker 23 (01:53:05):
Owner believed to be one of the last from an
anzac to his mom back home. The treasure was found
by a father and daughter on a remote esperance beach
in Wa South As.

Speaker 2 (01:53:15):
She picked it up and said, oh Dad, this bottle's
pretty cool. It's very thick glass and it's got messages
in it. We better take it home.

Speaker 23 (01:53:22):
Its author is thought a run Australian soldier Malcolm Alexander Neville.
The message to his mother is signed off somewhere at
s August fifteenth, nineteen sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:53:32):
So an Australian guy. This didn't even come from somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (01:53:35):
How did it take that long to wash up on
an Australian beach If the guy was up from Australia,
could have gotten hung up on something, I guess. So
he gets stuck in there as he sailed to Europe
to fight the First World War. After the after the
assassination of Art Duke Ferland, the world was plunged into
this array. So yeah, I love that. You gotta wonder

(01:54:01):
if you were writing a note now throwing in a bottle,
would it be like you know.

Speaker 5 (01:54:05):
It was.

Speaker 2 (01:54:08):
Love you bitch, I love you bitch. Like at the
Kevin Gates Show. You're here with somebody loves Hey? How
many people here with somebody there to know? Tonight? I
want you to put your hand on their heart wherever
they are. I love you, bitch boy. They did things
different in twenty twenty five, didn't they. Now you get

(01:54:30):
a note in a bottle from twenty twenty bring.

Speaker 6 (01:54:35):
Your ass.

Speaker 2 (01:54:37):
That sucks out here. I'm how are your boobs? Bring
your ass? I went out into the suite. The Halloween
party is still going. It's very dim out there. There's
a lot of people carrying their children around and it's
just chaos. Yeah, And I went to grab a piece
of candy, but I didn't really know the place that

(01:54:57):
I had gone before. It had been moved, and so
I'm like, oh, dummy, there's a you put some candy
in that blue pumpkin rights out of our studio. And
I like kitkats, So I grabbed one that says kit
cat counts, and I go, what the hell are kit
cat count It just shaped like counter acula. Yeah, I
thought that it was like a new kind of kids.
The twigs that I bought were like green like gobblin twigs. Yes, well,

(01:55:22):
and they do have the Halloween kit cats or like
the Witch kitkats or something. So they're like white chocolate
and something else. Those are pretty good. But yeah, I
kind of I was not going to do a full
pass out there because there's so many people. I just
I don't want to walk through that. But there's like
little cups of red wine. And I walked out on
people's desk. You worked out it walked out of the

(01:55:42):
worst time. Yeah, I went to go get it water
in the kitchen. Yeah, and they're they were stopping for
a picture.

Speaker 1 (01:55:48):
So the boss has everybody like in a you know,
I had group had faith from the traffics taking pictures
and I'm like, all right, hurry up, come on, take
a picture. And she goes get in and I was like,
oh god, I'm good faith. I'm just you're just passing through.
It's getting some water.

Speaker 2 (01:56:02):
No, no, get in. I'm like, just take the god
damned picture of all the people to get holed into
a picture. It's you.

Speaker 6 (01:56:10):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:56:11):
I don't believe in karma, but there it is. And
then people are like, oh, you gotta get in, Like no, no,
I don't enjoy your cake. You want to hold my baby? No, sure, don't.
Oh the cake's going to be gone by the time
we're off too. I wouldn't touch it. I know you wouldn't.
I'll have your piece and my piece, but you don't

(01:56:32):
want to touch it now because you know all those
oh they're not the kids.

Speaker 1 (01:56:39):
Look it?

Speaker 2 (01:56:39):
How cute it's cake shoe? You think they're holding children
up to sneeze on the cake? I mean, nobody them cake.
I know four children, but they're not. How would a
kids snipe? Show them the cake?

Speaker 5 (01:56:54):
Isn't that cute? Kids?

Speaker 2 (01:56:55):
Oh it's so cute too, mom. I don't know that
anybody would be in favor of that. I can't even
think that the parents have said children would be what
would what? They know what little kids are capable. I'm
not going to want to put their kid's face next
to a communal cake.

Speaker 1 (01:57:09):
I felt bad. Jen Pachano's here and she's like, oh,
this is my daughter, and like little kids? Does she
little ish?

Speaker 8 (01:57:17):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (01:57:17):
Really?

Speaker 5 (01:57:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:57:18):
She didn't look like she was maybe seven eight.

Speaker 1 (01:57:21):
Years Maybe you think she had teenagers? Okay, maybe I
think she might have one. Yeah, she have a couple
of daughters, right, And I was like, oh, hi, she's
like look at her, at her, her her boots and
she's cute, sparkly boots.

Speaker 5 (01:57:33):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:57:33):
I had a couple. I have a couple of daughters,
and they always had boots like that. And then I
realized I was out of things to say instantly as
soon as I said that, and I was like, nice
to meet you. Yeah, but you don't have to Yeah,
that's okay, you don't have to engage it. And then
I went to say thank you to that salesperson that
gets the mounds, Joanne Joanne, and she was standing I

(01:57:55):
don't know less than the distance between us right now,
and I said, joe Anne, thanks for those mounds. You
really made Alan's day. And she just kept walking and
I turned and I looked at and I looked at Tracy,
and I said, and this is why I don't talk
to people. And then I came right back.

Speaker 5 (01:58:15):
In the studio.

Speaker 2 (01:58:16):
Maybe she didn't hear you.

Speaker 1 (01:58:17):
I'm sure she didn't, but it still is a good
reason for me to back up why I don't talk
to people.

Speaker 2 (01:58:21):
I say, a perfect, perfect thing. I hate this so much. Dave,
are you having fun out there? He's out there? I
know people.

Speaker 1 (01:58:31):
I guys got a text from Cheryl with the Cavs
you sound like an old man yelling at the kids
to get off of his lawn. I know, I know
what I sound like, but I but I cannot help
the fact that I am a grown person at my
place of employment dealing with children at a Halloween party

(01:58:51):
where they are painting popkins.

Speaker 2 (01:58:54):
I can't believe that you've been here three years and
we haven't done this. It's so it's a it's I'm
a big waste of time. As it's happening, I'm like, oh, yeah,
we haven't done this here. With the exception of you
and I, no one in this building is working. No one. Well,
that's not a.

Speaker 1 (01:59:12):
Problem on a Thursday afternoon, that's not a problem for anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:59:17):
I like to shut it down, no problem, no, no. Listen,
when I came in this morning, there were a lot
of people here. I have to think that they were
getting their respective business done to prepare for the party.

Speaker 1 (01:59:31):
Know what they were doing was preparing for the party.

Speaker 2 (01:59:34):
Look around. That place didn't decorate itself. Further, I like,
how you make me sound downright reasonable? I know, I
get it. Somebody said it on here, Rob have a
little fun, loosen up. You're actually making alan look like
Captain fun.

Speaker 1 (01:59:46):
I know minute one day, one chair telling that I
was a prick.

Speaker 2 (01:59:51):
We can't have well so am I. It's just my
thought is what's going on out there doesn't really affect me,
but it does. It directly affects you.

Speaker 1 (02:00:01):
Does of course, if we were printing money, would you
be waiting for a phone screener?

Speaker 5 (02:00:06):
Still?

Speaker 2 (02:00:07):
Oh, I see what you mean. I see what you mean.

Speaker 1 (02:00:10):
We have area.

Speaker 2 (02:00:12):
Of people not working right now. That's because of any
dollar spider Man cake, because wood he had to come
to work today. Here, here's my kid. Let's make sure
my kid gets candy. I'll ship your candy next year.
Because Woody had to get I thought you meant our
buddy Woody. I'm like wood he's out there dressing of yeah,

(02:00:33):
right on the way by. Yeah. Well all right, how
long work? How long is the party? I don't know? Yeah,
but you know what, let me play Devil's Advocate one
more time. By the time on a given day people

(02:00:53):
working here aren't even here at four in the afternoon,
they're already gone.

Speaker 1 (02:00:57):
But you're there here longer than they would normally like
your day, their day is almost over. If you're actively
watching them not work. Every day, they're out of here
by two thirty.

Speaker 2 (02:01:07):
We know that.

Speaker 1 (02:01:08):
Yeah, Fridays they don't even bother coming in. We know
they're not working. Yeah, but we don't have to watch
them do it. Right now, they'll hell, hey, can I
O glass of that wine? Here's my husband.

Speaker 2 (02:01:19):
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (02:01:20):
I'm happy that we are keeping this machine rolling rob
while everyone else can be out there having a good
time with their kids and enjoying their lives while you
and I hold down the frigging fort.

Speaker 2 (02:01:39):
There's no one else. Boom bloom. Daddy's probably on, but
he's not here. He's not really.

Speaker 1 (02:01:46):
Dave's in that other room, but I think Bloom, I
think he broadcasts from other places.

Speaker 2 (02:01:50):
Okay, well, then he's one of those deals. All right.
We are probably then the only live afternoon show right now, oh,
without question. At iHeart cleve without question. So it's incumbent
upon us to say, you know what, go ahead, Your
everything is being taken care of. Don't you sweat it now?
If you go out there, nobody looks like they're sweating anything.

(02:02:14):
But okay, that's how I portray it in my mind,
that they're all milling about saying I feel like we
should be something else, and they go, Nope, Allen's got
it taken care of. And that's that's been the curse
of my career. It's why for so many iterations of
this program, I've been surrounded by people, from time to time,
not so much here, surrounded by people who are like,

(02:02:36):
Allan will handle it. He knows it, he'll take care
of it. Fine.

Speaker 1 (02:02:40):
Allow me to again state I have nothing against Halloween, right,
I have nothing against fun.

Speaker 2 (02:02:46):
I love to see children enjoying themselves.

Speaker 1 (02:02:50):
I just don't need to do it at work when
people should be working the end.

Speaker 2 (02:02:55):
That's all it is. If you want to say that
makes me a prick, Fine, a prick. This is by
and large a kid free zone. Yeah now, and it's
great that way.

Speaker 1 (02:03:08):
Maybe do you know why, because it's a place of
business where adults work.

Speaker 2 (02:03:13):
Maybe is there any chance they're working on some Doogie
Houser type situation where they're grooming one of these young
kids to be the next major drive time personality.

Speaker 1 (02:03:26):
Maybe yeah, yeah, I mean, listen, we've met you've met
most of those people out there. I have to assume
that some of those kids could probably do equal to
or greater than work than their parents. So I'm gonna
go with yes, I think we might have a prodigy
in the house.

Speaker 2 (02:03:42):
Well, then that's the best you can hope for. I
really I will be unabashed though, in my hope that
there is still a piece of cake when we're done.
Oh no, way, I really do. I'm gonna watch you
eat it.

Speaker 1 (02:03:54):
Yes, so you can go yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wood
he sneezed on that piece.

Speaker 2 (02:04:01):
Well, but there's chips and there's wine out there, and
it's always the leftovers because everybody will clear out and
they won't really clean up after themselves, because they will
rightly think, well, there are other people here, and as
they pass through, they can they can sift through the
detritus of our party.

Speaker 8 (02:04:22):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (02:04:23):
Now what I always do think about are the people
who bring their children who are so small that they
will have no memory of this. If they're lucky. Hey,
can you hear that? What's up? What's up? Can you
hear that? Yeah?

Speaker 10 (02:04:38):
Is here?

Speaker 2 (02:04:39):
Open the door? How's that possible? Open the door? Well,
it's possible because these studios aren't sound proof. Oh that's right,
that's right. That is the sound of people enjoying their lives.
Rob This would that we all ha. You know what,

(02:05:00):
now it pisses me off a whole lot less. Two
minutes after five you want to do something awesome. And
then again, people you.

Speaker 1 (02:05:11):
Don't see ever like that work here, that never ever
ever come to work because that's too much to ask,
are here with their families.

Speaker 2 (02:05:20):
On Halloween party during workout. Could it be close the door.
Could it be that they're proud and want to show
their children, Hey, this is what dad does, This is
what mom does. This is where I don't come to
work every day.

Speaker 1 (02:05:35):
This is where, this is where I should be sitting
right now doing my job.

Speaker 2 (02:05:39):
This is where you can't come with me because you
have school. This is how this is how I pay
for everything. Mmm mm hmm, yep, I think that that's
exactly what that is. Well, but you said it. It's
five oh three, Rob, It is now an after.

Speaker 1 (02:05:58):
Work Now it's an afterwork event. That took up the
better part. Now, will you go out and have some cake?

Speaker 2 (02:06:05):
Absolutely not? No, no, no, no, no, no no again.

Speaker 1 (02:06:08):
Then that's that's more of the I will not eat
and we've talked about it. I'm just saying if someone
brought fresh subs, I won't have a suck.

Speaker 2 (02:06:16):
I don't do the same. But when there's cake, I
love cake. I love cake. I might stop on my
way home and buy a cake. Oh that's a good idea.
Heinens has those half right cakes, right, Oh, maybe I'll
get one of those. It's not going to be a
seventy dollars cake with Spider Man on it, bro, No,
it'll be a forty Yeah. I what's your cake of choice?

(02:06:41):
This might be a cake for dinner now O. Now,
I've never I know this is counterintuitive that would normally eat.
I have never ever had a cake for dinner. Thing.
We're just we're just workshopping.

Speaker 1 (02:06:56):
Yeah, we're workshopping this time to get a cake, right,
bring it home and it's cake for dinner night.

Speaker 2 (02:07:01):
Yeah, it cost the cocks kind of cake we get.
Nothing crazy, I would probably Heinen's has like those half cakes,
the round cakes. Cut them in half. Yeah, white cake,
white frosting. Okay, nothing crazy. I mean sometimes you get
a yellow cake or some chocolate. So you're not going
like carrot cake or anything.

Speaker 6 (02:07:18):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:07:19):
I like a birthday cake. I love a birthday Yeah,
it's good. Nothing nothing you know, too off the reservation.
I mean, you know you know, carrot cake's fine too.
Are you not a chocolate cake person? It's okay? Yeah,
like a devil's food or something. Now again, I could
count on one hand at the times I've had cake.
I literally have cake. Like when my daughter's birthday comes

(02:07:42):
around in February. It's the one time a year I
have cake. So, now, do you like the light and
fluffy or are you more of a dense cake kind
of gay? I don't care for. I don't want to
feel like I'm eating a doorstop egg. Yeah. Yeah, but
again I'm not picking now when given the choice, I
am still team pie. But birthday pies that's what you

(02:08:07):
get when the kids are put to bed.

Speaker 1 (02:08:09):
He Melissa makes me a pecan pie every.

Speaker 2 (02:08:13):
Year, every year for pecan pecan pie. That's my favorite.

Speaker 1 (02:08:20):
It is pretty good. So what's the best a pecan pie?
And it's a different type of recipe. It's not like
the over the top, super sweet version. It's a different
recipe of a pecan pie. She uses almonds.

Speaker 2 (02:08:35):
It's a pecan pie. Right. Have you ever had a
cashew pie?

Speaker 8 (02:08:40):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:08:40):
It's delicious, the chili lime cashew pie.

Speaker 2 (02:08:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:08:46):
See, now I do want to have a dessert type
of thing for dinner. Like, even if Tira Monsieur could
make me happy.

Speaker 2 (02:08:53):
Tonight, what about dessert for dinner I might have to
make I mean, you know, obviously a giant flashing neon
sign in our face is it's Halloween and where oh
you gotta you know we're surrounded by Halloween candy. But
that's not what you want to have for dinner. If
you're gonna dessert for dinner you want to have, then
you get an upset tummy. What do you want to have?

(02:09:16):
I don't know, I don't know. He can't pie sounds
good though he can't pie us good man a little
too rich for me, though, I'll have a couple of
bites and that's it.

Speaker 1 (02:09:26):
As if this day couldn't get any worse, my wife
just picks up my dogs from the groomer and sends
me a thing that says might need to get a
new groomer and a laughing face emoji.

Speaker 2 (02:09:39):
Look at look at the shape hanging outside of their garage?
What is it? I can't see from somewhere in Margaritaville.
Part I thought she met aesthetically like there was Oh
they cut her down too much or No.

Speaker 1 (02:10:00):
It's a parrot drinking a glass of wine. Yeah, well
you've seen that before. It's five o'clock somewhere in Margaritaville.
Well it's five oh eight in northeast Ohio. So I've stress.

Speaker 2 (02:10:12):
No, I've not seen that before. Oh wow, so this
is this is a person's home or their place of
business has a buffet both.

Speaker 1 (02:10:18):
They have a thing built out for the grooming business.

Speaker 2 (02:10:21):
She must have just parked in a different spot. I've
not seen this. Okay, Well, that's why sometimes I go
to a I take my dog to place an avon
called the Spotted Dog because it's as standalone place, right
they I would imagine they stay largely agnostic of those
kinds of things because it's not in a person's home.
It's a place of business. Oh, speaking of places of business,
let's get back to the hallweed party. As soon as

(02:10:42):
those words came out of my mouth, I was like,
I know that we're coming from the circle. Wait a minute,
but that won't put up a sign business. The business
day has concluded.

Speaker 1 (02:10:54):
The love of an artist, So someone who owns a
dog grooming business will not put up a sign that
says I want this or I love this, but we
can have a party during a workday.

Speaker 2 (02:11:06):
You know what'll make you feel better is some death
metal Calliope rob That'll always puts me.

Speaker 8 (02:11:12):
In a good mood.

Speaker 2 (02:11:15):
I think these guys are at Sonic Temple as a
matter of fact, The.

Speaker 6 (02:11:19):
Allen Carr Show on one ven.

Speaker 13 (02:11:27):
Allan it says here that you call yourself one of
the few gay goat farmers in the great state of
Tennessee on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 2 (02:11:49):
Congrats by the way to Dan Pettel down in Akron.
Got those four day passes for Sonic Temple. I will
have another four for you tomorrow around five ten. Megadeth
on the bill My Chemical Romance. We came as Romans
and Tool and Signs of This Swarm and Cradle of

(02:12:09):
Films and Sonic Temple Festival dot com. Megadeth. This is
part of their farewell tour. They're gonna drop their very
last album end of January, and because Dave Mustaine co
wrote it, the album will end with a cover of
Metallica's Ride to Lightning. Dave Mustaine course famously booted from

(02:12:33):
Metallica in their nascent days, and he's always kind of
that's what's motivated him equal parts talent and diligence and spite.
But you know, years ago there was a thought that
Megadeth might be over altogether because Dave had some degenerative
nerve thing in his hand or something that was prohibiting

(02:12:53):
his guitar playing. But they are deciding to officially call
it a career. So they're doing the Farewell tour technically
next year, but the Sonic Temple appearance, they will be
on that very last day, on that Sunday where Tool
will be your headliner, but Megadeth will headline one of
those side stages. Cavaliers lose by ten last night in Boston.

(02:13:15):
I don't know who saw that coming, but that's what happened.
It was one five was the final there at the
Ted Garden. The Calves will return home tomorrow night and
they'll be here for the better part of the week.
They will host the Toronto Raptors tomorrow night seven point
thirty tip seven o'clock pregame one of those NBA Cup

(02:13:37):
Tournament games, and then the Atlanta Hawks will come to town.
The Sixers will be here as well, before the Calves
head back out on the road play the Wizards, and
then come right back home play the Bulls a week
from Saturday, but Calves basketball tomorrow night. I heard Stansbury

(02:13:57):
early talking about how they did you know all these
local municipalities have different times for tricker treading. Yeah, and
he said where he lives, and I don't know where
that is. Can He said they did it like three
to five in the afternoon on Saturday or something like jew.

Speaker 1 (02:14:13):
I think a lot of places are getting into that,
like like go during the late afternoon. What's the point
of that keeping people safer from what? Well, I mean,
it depends on where you are.

Speaker 2 (02:14:24):
I mean, we used to be running, yeah, I guess,
but graffic, for sure is a big thing. We were
running around until midnight for God's sake. Time huh, different time,
But it wasn't any less. It wasn't any more safe
in the eighties. It probably was in Chicago. Well that, yeah,
that's right, kind of forget sometimes running around and okayway

(02:14:44):
parents just cared less. Probably, I guess, I don't. I
mean my parents took us trigger trading were a little
I mean I remember that, but no where where I live.
I live in Bay Village, and I had a double
check because I was hearing things that were like, oh
they moved it or whatever. Six to eight. So when
I get home, like, you know, meet my kid and
my wife on the route because they've already been out

(02:15:04):
and it's dark by then anyway, So I get it.
But I mean when they started, like the six to eight,
I was like, God, that's early. Yeah, but okay, fine,
but like.

Speaker 1 (02:15:14):
Daylight, it's it's like doing comedy in the daytime.

Speaker 2 (02:15:18):
I think a lot of it. Halloween Trigger Treat is
supposed to be at night.

Speaker 1 (02:15:21):
I think, well, I think a lot really has to
do with, you know, people driving around in the dark,
high traffic locations.

Speaker 2 (02:15:29):
I mean Kantons City, you know what I mean. So
you but don't people have headlights on? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:15:33):
But man, you see it every year kid's getting mowed
down from some idiot distracted on his phone, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (02:15:38):
Like mowed down.

Speaker 1 (02:15:39):
Well, I mean, I mean really, I mean, I hate
to say it like that, but that's like people aren't
paying attention.

Speaker 2 (02:15:45):
You got two kids crossing the street and bang.

Speaker 8 (02:15:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:15:49):
Oh you mean because people are paying attention to their
phones or anything.

Speaker 1 (02:15:53):
Yeah, you just distracted. I see it happens all the time.
Get open the door. Remember the hand fart guy. Yeah,
this is the guy that did that.

Speaker 2 (02:16:08):
Back at it for the Spooky season. Getting a lot
of texts, Rob, A lot of reaction to you in
this party. I know, I know, I'm maybe an akron.
Tell Rob to get a kick, kedem or Low and
take a deep breath. Mike and Parma, I cannot express
how much I love Rob's attitude. How is Rob able

(02:16:32):
to sit down for four hours during the show? Would
that giant stick up his ass? My dad, I know
exactly what I want to say. My dad used to
love eating dessert before dinner. His favorite was he would
eat the Wendy's Frosty before the food. On his memorial

(02:16:55):
stone where his ashes are, it's engraved dessert first. How
about that? That's pretty cool. Yeah. Um, Rob's crash out
was completely worth what's going on? Oh, Gavin Rossdale is
sixty years old today? That's impossible.

Speaker 5 (02:17:13):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (02:17:14):
How about that?

Speaker 1 (02:17:15):
That dude is in such good shape, one of our
gen X heroes right sixty today.

Speaker 2 (02:17:20):
I for him.

Speaker 1 (02:17:21):
I saw him at that Shinedown show they opened for Shindown. Yeah,
and bus shehallby a sonic templeto and he walked by
and he just looks and he goes, I know you,
and he kept walking yeah, and I was like, oh god,
yeah it was pretty great. But he looks like he's

(02:17:45):
like thirty five. The dude is looks great.

Speaker 2 (02:17:47):
Ripped h Yeah, well that's what happens when you're leaving
it in babysitters. True, you know, keeps you young.

Speaker 1 (02:17:56):
Like you might want to get on your moral high hole,
but you know there's no rules anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:18:02):
Gwen Stefani's the fountain of youth. I never were. Yeah,
she's paid a lot of money for that fountay youth.
Well no, no, no, I mean she was oh.

Speaker 1 (02:18:11):
To him, Yeah, no, she looks great. She's older than that, right,
or she's at least sixty? No, yeah, you think so,
Gwen Sefani.

Speaker 2 (02:18:18):
She laid fifties. Oh she's fifty six. Fifty six? Oh
why did I think she Well, maybe it's when she
turned fifty. Everybody's like, no way does she look like
this at fifty. She's had a lot of work done.
Now she has her face, but she still takes amazing
care of herself. But fifty six. I only met Gwen
Stefani one time. I auctioned off her gum for charity,
and she could not have been nicer.

Speaker 1 (02:18:41):
I never met Gwen Stefani lovely otherwise. I mean this
was twenty her name would be Gwen Anthony. Yeah, what's
that out there?

Speaker 2 (02:18:52):
I'm sorry, sorry, we're just trying to do a show here.

Speaker 5 (02:18:55):
What was that?

Speaker 1 (02:19:15):
This guy's German, and I don't speak any German beyond
you know, you've a machanelle and all that.

Speaker 2 (02:19:20):
But uh, man, love to give this guy his flowers.
I don't know how you get to sustain on a
hand fart though I got some chops. I'm not I'm
not that good. The key to what's keeping your hands moist?

Speaker 5 (02:19:36):
Here?

Speaker 6 (02:19:37):
Man? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:19:39):
I like his uh? I like his work there. Yep, gott,
I have it moist. Alan summer debate. Is carrot cake
a normal flavor of cupcake or is it strange to
have carrot cake in cupcake form? Hm?

Speaker 17 (02:19:57):
Hmm?

Speaker 2 (02:19:58):
What do you mean, like if you bought a variety pack?
I think they mean, is carrot cake only in cake form?
Or is it okay to have a I've only ever
had carrot cake cupcakes in the tiny ones. I've never
I've never seen like a full It's just me I'm
sure they're out there. I've never I've only ever seen
carrot cake cupcakes as like the tiny cupcake.

Speaker 1 (02:20:18):
Yeah, I've seen them. I've seen them all forms of
cake delivery systems. Cake pop yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:20:23):
Uh. Cake pop though, is just frosted dough. Yeah, I've
seen carrot cake pops, but that's not like cake like
I thought cake pops. And I don't know why I
thought this because it's probably physically impossible, but the first
time I saw cake pop, I thought that it was
like fluffy ball of cake on a stick. Yeah, that
would be structurally unsound. So it's just a frosted ball

(02:20:46):
of dough.

Speaker 1 (02:20:47):
Well, yes, and no, a lot of times the inside
of them can still have cake consistency.

Speaker 2 (02:20:54):
They're just I've never seen that when But when my
daughter for a while, she was on a real she
was around a real kick with like Starbucks cake pops,
and I took a bite out of one one time,
thinking it was going to be cake inside, was like,
oh Jesus, this is solid dough. I'm like, well, you're
gonna have one of these every ten years?

Speaker 1 (02:21:11):
Then yeah, no, they can be made with cake, okay cake,
you know, and then they're they're dipped in chocolate or
something like that.

Speaker 2 (02:21:18):
To adhere it to the stake. You know what, I'll
tell you what. I love Petty Force, Petty for tiny cakes.
Petty Force. You ever had the tiny cakes? I get it.
You get them in. There's a place I like mccroon's
and Petty Forest. There's a spot on Queen Street in Toronto.
When I'm gonna be in Toronto a couple of weeks,

(02:21:38):
then I go up there and I just get every
two of every kind of macaron.

Speaker 1 (02:21:42):
Oh yeah, yeah, almost look like like a cookie a
Petty for Yeah, look like tiny little three layer cakes,
like those little Italian When they get the little it
looks like the Italian flag in them.

Speaker 2 (02:21:54):
It's one of the Italian cookies. It makes like a cake.
I don't know about that. Yeah, it's called a Italian
not Cassada cakes. You're talking about a Italian flag cake. No,
Petty Forest, tiny little frosted cake.

Speaker 1 (02:22:09):
Here's a Petty for Italian rainbow cake bites, Italian cake flag.
These things here and they get they get that chocolate
on them.

Speaker 2 (02:22:15):
No, Petty looks delicious. It's like eating a bunch of cakes.
But they're so small. You don't necessarily feel bad about it.
Look up the Venetian cookie? Is this off Urban Dictionary?
Oh rainbow cookie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's Yeah. Okay,

(02:22:37):
I see what you mean.

Speaker 1 (02:22:38):
Those are delicious. I see what you mean. There's a
great bakery. And what's the Italian section here called Little Italy?

Speaker 2 (02:22:44):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 1 (02:22:45):
They took a stretch? Yeah, well, I mean, you know,
like I don't, I forget. Yeah, I know in Rhode
Island it's Federal Hill, but we're talking about Oh it's
so good, My god, almighty, was that place incredible.

Speaker 2 (02:23:00):
There's a place. I think it's like the main place
that makes Cassada cakes in Maple Heights, I believe, and
I forget what it's called, but it's just unbelievable. So good.
Wife and I ran a bakery out of our house
for fifteen years and we frequently sold carrot cake cupcakes.
Oh God, for you, Alan, Rob should relax or I'm

(02:23:23):
gonna call his future black step dad. Listen. I don't
know why you consistently think that's some kind of insult,
but it couldn't be further from the truth. Avon Ohio
moved trig or treating to tonight so we can all
get rained on. All right, Well, it's probably gonna rain
tomorrow too, you know, if it's not, there's been Halloween's past.

(02:23:46):
It might have even been last year it was like
sleeting out, like freezing rain. Right, if you're getting a
mist out there, that might be the best you can
hope for this time of year. But yeah, when I
was a kid, used to get like the we used
to get the Swiss Colony catalog. Whether they had these

(02:24:07):
mall stores, I don't know if they were Illinois or
they were. It was called the Swiss Colony. You go in,
you could get sausages and they would have petty for selections.
Wasn't that a song? What's that Swiss.

Speaker 1 (02:24:20):
Colony beef log? For some reason, that's stuck in my head.
I don't know Swiss, I.

Speaker 2 (02:24:25):
Don't know, But I'm gonna try the Venetian cookie on
Urban Dictionary tonight, now that I've looked it up. It's
one of the more difficult moves on Urban Dictionary.

Speaker 1 (02:24:34):
It was on South Park Swiss Colony beef Log, cartman
sings it Swiss.

Speaker 2 (02:24:38):
Kennedy beef Yead Swiss Colony beef Log.

Speaker 1 (02:24:42):
Okay, It's not X rated, is it. I don't think so.
Was a south Park. I got my finger on the
dump before Redney too.

Speaker 24 (02:24:48):
I got it right here, come on, carpet stuck into
hern on the changing and the preasant around the tree

(02:25:10):
and Amazine the kitchen making some verbo chee. The windows
are covered with brows and the canoes.

Speaker 1 (02:25:22):
Are onund the left.

Speaker 24 (02:25:24):
But as I wonder, do this quiet.

Speaker 2 (02:25:27):
As Christmas song? Seven Red play this on Magic next week.

Speaker 24 (02:25:34):
It's a Swiss can any bee blue, but the neighbors
aren't around.

Speaker 2 (02:25:41):
There's no beef. Love to be fat.

Speaker 3 (02:25:45):
Digy.

Speaker 2 (02:25:48):
It is impressive to be able to sing in that voice.
You know what I mean to sing in that carrier? Yeah, Cartman,
I like South Park. Back in the day. Cartman wore
out his welcome with me real fast. Really Yeah, I
stuck out, Uh. I stuck with south Park like maybe

(02:26:08):
until two thousand, I only watched the first Home Kiless Seasons. Yeah,
I was like, I get it.

Speaker 1 (02:26:15):
Yeah, it was it to me. It will always be there. Yeah,
still is love. Eric Carmon, Hey, Sherry, hi Ellen, Hi,
what's up?

Speaker 6 (02:26:26):
Well?

Speaker 4 (02:26:27):
You said pedophores and it made me smile. My husband's
I've never heard of them before until I met my husband.
His mom, grandma, they all made them beautiful, absolutely beautiful
little cakes, and she always made them for events. And
he'd tell me when he'd come home after a night

(02:26:49):
of indulging, she'd have some in the freezer and he'd
empty a tree of petty fores for an event that
she had. And she still talks about it today.

Speaker 2 (02:26:59):
Yeah, you can, really. You gotta know what you're getting,
because I remember a couple of years ago I ordered
some and they again turned out to be just kind
of like dough like cake pops. So if you go
to a bakery that like makes them, makes them in
like that cake kind of Oh they're so good, so good. Oh.

Speaker 4 (02:27:16):
She made them all the time, and they were beautiful,
each one more beautiful than the others.

Speaker 2 (02:27:20):
And you know, Sherry, what I like to do when
I'm feeling really greedy or gross, I'll just stack two
of them and then I've got a petty eight, right,
what you what if you did three? A petty wheat,
not a petty cat, like a petty wheat is what
we would do. I'm thinking, was he talking about petty coat?

Speaker 4 (02:27:42):
Isn't that something that goes under your skirt.

Speaker 2 (02:27:44):
Yes, a petty coat. That's what I wear when I'm
eating my petty fours. Try that out, all right, thank you, Erry,
thank you, Oh thank you. I've already got a good one.
If you want these pettifours, you better make with a
petty cat petty for French for a small oven. But yeah,

(02:28:05):
they're very very tiny, like a easy bake oven type thing.

Speaker 22 (02:28:11):
Alan cample mca't listen to the podcast and a couple
of days behind you, guys were talking about the uncomfortable
situations in the office when you're wearing a costume. My
sister works in HR in Australia, and there's a federal
law in Australia that allows you to have like an
emotional support person anytime you were called in for discipline.
So they had a person that knew they were going

(02:28:33):
to be fired. And so the emotional support person they
brought with them was not their brother or friend. They
had hired a clown and so this person was making
balloon animals as the guy was being fired. So the
company wanted my sister to know or to work on
whether they can restrict who can show up to avoid

(02:28:53):
this awkward situation in the future anyway.

Speaker 2 (02:28:58):
Hellyby Arenar I'm going to be sacked tomorrow. Let me
get a clown. I like it. Yeah, an emotional support
person You mean a friend. I think over here we
just call them a friend. Yeah. Barona's thank you in
Maple Heights Devotion to Accuracy. It's been there for a

(02:29:19):
hundred years, right, Barona's makes Mike says, it's not a cake.
He just said that to me too.

Speaker 18 (02:29:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:29:26):
He was saying, like, if you if you grew up here,
if you were Catholic, you got a cake from this place,
if you were this, that or the other. And He's like,
you could basically based on the things that you would
purchase for events and parties at your home as a kid,
people could tell exactly where you were from. Like they
knew exactly where you lived based on answering those questions.

Speaker 2 (02:29:45):
Yeah, Alan, what you're thinking of is the oky cookie
on urbandiction. No, I'm not thinking of the oky cookie
that one. No, that's the limp biscuit, that's all. I
remember that in college as the limp biscuit, which is
when guys would sit around in a circle, there'd be

(02:30:06):
a cracker in the middle and everyone was jerking the
donut there. That's how the band Limp Biscuit got their name.

Speaker 6 (02:30:14):
Is it really?

Speaker 2 (02:30:15):
Yes? It was. There were two alleged collage frat hazing games.
One was the was a elephant walk, which is when
you'd uh and they're all very homo erotic, right, Limp
Biscuit is a guy doing the circle jerk and the
last one to pop off on the cracker has to
eat it. And then the elephant walk was a bunch

(02:30:37):
of guys bent over in a circle and their trunk
was their arm with their thumb out stuck in the
b hole of the guy in front of them. And
then if they broke contact, they had to put that
thumb in their mouth and the other one in the
These are all these like urban legend kind of you know,
But I had to start somewhere. I've never heard of

(02:30:59):
the oak Cookie, but I heard of the Limp Biscuit. Now,
I never once met anybody whoever engaged in that ritual,
but I have to assume that they were probably sworn
to some kind of vow of secrecy.

Speaker 5 (02:31:13):
There.

Speaker 2 (02:31:13):
It's a salty tear of me. I'm gonna take a break.
Three points. Sounds quiet nowt on that everybody got the
f out.

Speaker 1 (02:31:27):
My kids are all having their sugar meltdowns. They're about
to start bouncing off the walls in a second. They're
all passing out right now. Then they'll be freaking out
in a few minutes. And that's all left.

Speaker 2 (02:31:34):
Right, It sounds really quiet.

Speaker 11 (02:31:37):
The Allen Cox Show on one hundreds call the Allan
Cox Show.

Speaker 2 (02:31:45):
Girls, This is your opportunity right here, a nice boy,
let me tell you that two seven eight.

Speaker 13 (02:31:51):
One double oh seven or one three four eight one
double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (02:32:04):
Well, the lights are back on out there in the
office suite. It looks like things are returning to their
natural state. Oh yeah, a little log rats. That office
party has burned itself out.

Speaker 1 (02:32:16):
The little rugrats that are stuck here while their parents
do like clean up already starting to melt down.

Speaker 2 (02:32:22):
Is that what's happening? Well, they're little kids though, right,
Oh it's so good. The only ones that are left
for little kids.

Speaker 1 (02:32:29):
They're normally in bed, like in forty five minutes, and
they're here watching mom drink wine.

Speaker 2 (02:32:35):
Yeah, well good, Hey, I just said on another batch
of Alan Cox Show stickers this morning, and I'm always
happy to send them out for people to email me
Alan at alancockhrow dot com is the email to send
your address. And I also like when people send me
photos of where they've tagged the show. Now I don't
have the person's name, I only have their email address,

(02:32:56):
but I posted the photo at the Alan Cox Show
Facebook page. They tagged us in Athens Grease and in
the background you can see some old ruins, which is
pretty cool. I'll post the photos. Rachel has tagged the
show in Memphis right there on Beale Street, and I
was like to post those whenever I can. Of course,

(02:33:16):
I'm the jag off that when I travel I never
remember to bring stickers with me. They're like back at
the hotel in my backpack instead of in my pocket
where they should be. And so the last place I
tagged was Sedona, and that was a couple of years
ago probably, But.

Speaker 1 (02:33:38):
I'm happy to mail them out to you if you
just shoot me an email with your address.

Speaker 2 (02:33:48):
Oh play a message here, cotton balls. I think, Hey, Ellen,
what's that folloween? Rob?

Speaker 25 (02:33:55):
I just picked up my Jamison in my side or
excited for tomorrow. I know James was not the one
you usually go to. So what do you guys like
mixing in it?

Speaker 1 (02:34:03):
I do like Jamison, I do too, but insider Jamison insider,
I haven't had that. I've had Dick Insider cider, dam broke, Allen, what's.

Speaker 2 (02:34:16):
Up Halloween Rols?

Speaker 11 (02:34:17):
Sorry?

Speaker 25 (02:34:18):
I just picked up my Jamison in my cider. Excited
for tomorrow. I know James is not the one you
usually go to. So what do you guys like mixing
in it? Or what's your go to fall drink? If
anybody's out tomorrow and they see a big bad wolf
and he smells like boozy apples and cinnamon, Allen, can
you hit the post on Little Red Riding Hood by
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs?

Speaker 1 (02:34:40):
Salm?

Speaker 2 (02:34:40):
Isn't that a cold open? All that Red Rid, Sam
the Sham and the Pharaohs.

Speaker 8 (02:34:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:34:48):
That opens cold right? Is that I see walking in
these woods balls Red riding?

Speaker 6 (02:34:56):
Yeah? Hey man?

Speaker 8 (02:34:59):
Then Red.

Speaker 1 (02:35:06):
Was Wooly Bully. Their song was at their big hit
Wooly Bully. Ok, Wooly Bully.

Speaker 2 (02:35:12):
But this is a big too. Cotton Ball sounds like
a good time. I mean, yeah, he's he smells like
apples and cinnamon, and he's boozy apples and cinnamon, He's
just like a big bed Wolvez just sounds like a
drinking one guy Jamison insider, Uh, I like Jamison and anything. Yeah, Jamison,

(02:35:35):
And I don't know, I've never had it. I don't
mind a hot toddy, that's what he's talking about, Like
a warm drink.

Speaker 1 (02:35:44):
Yeah, I mean he's talking specifically about spiked apple cider,
which usually it's you know, it's mold or whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:35:50):
But I've always had it with bourbon.

Speaker 1 (02:35:52):
Obviously, it's not that dissimilar to Irish whiskey, so I'm
sure it's just a little sweeter.

Speaker 2 (02:35:57):
Maybe that's great.

Speaker 9 (02:35:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:35:59):
Years ago and we were in Paris for Christmas and
we went to like one of those kinder markets or whatever,
and the hot mulled wine yeah, and the chestnuts. I
mean it's like a goddamn greeting card that was so
good roasting on an open new phone. My neighbors across
the street. I do look forward to that tomorrow night.
My neighbors across the street. Our very last stop is

(02:36:20):
they just have a big card table set up, a
couple of older guys, young kids, and they just have
like thermoses full of hot Toddies for the grown ups
that we're walking by.

Speaker 6 (02:36:32):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (02:36:32):
That's great. And one of them's usually got it's not
warmed up, but it's usually got a clear giant bottle
of some Eastern European hooch that he's like daring people
to take tugs of. My buddy that came to visit.
We went to the marble room together. I remember I
told you Al from Providence.

Speaker 1 (02:36:52):
Yeah, he brings a bottle every time I see him
of his stuff that he makes to Lithuanian spirit.

Speaker 2 (02:36:58):
It is de lish. It's called Krypnicus, and that's what
I'll break out.

Speaker 1 (02:37:04):
I'm like, after I go out and do the driveway
and stuff in the winter, I'll take a few SIPs
of that.

Speaker 2 (02:37:09):
So it's it's sweet, so good, yum yum.

Speaker 1 (02:37:13):
I don't know what I'm gonna do this year, man, Like,
this is the first time in my life having kids
that I don't have anyone around. Caitlin is staying on campus,
so she's obviously not coming home, and Cali's going to
a Halloween party.

Speaker 2 (02:37:28):
Wow, so we're like, what are we gonna do? I
just I guess empty nesters at Halloween.

Speaker 1 (02:37:34):
I thing just sit at home, right aw I just
see if anybody comes to the house and we give
out candy.

Speaker 2 (02:37:38):
Go on a Halloween barkrawl. I don't really, Hi, I'm Rob.
Have we met?

Speaker 7 (02:37:44):
No?

Speaker 2 (02:37:44):
Well, I'm just saying it's a Friday night. I guess
that makes it all right. It's a principle. Sorry Saturday
and I screw that up. But no, I don't know. Yeah,
I mean, let the chips fall where they may and
then sleep in Saturday morning.

Speaker 1 (02:37:57):
I'm guessing we'll just end up like grab, I'm going home.
I don't I don't like our neighborhood isn't busy with
kids for trick or treating either.

Speaker 2 (02:38:08):
We don't have a ton of little kids on our streets,
you know, to the movies or something. Is there anything
I want to see? My ex wife is serbian. And
there was this thing called like Schlovecha or I. It
was plumb brandy. It would knock you on your ass
if you had too much. It was really good, but
it was it was deceptively alcoholic, you know, just fermented

(02:38:29):
fruit brandy. I don't want to be too hungover Saturday, Rob,
because I'm going to be a dis house of sports.
The grand opening there, they're opening a Brandy One in Strongsville.
So if you're down Strongsville Way, come by and say, hey,
we'll have all kinds of fun set up for you.
I'll be there from eleven a to one p at
the brand new Dicks in Strongsville with dabble mms. You'r

(02:38:53):
f I'm home for Cleveland Cavaliers basketball. He just figures
there's absolutely nothing in theaters that I want to see. Oh,
you don't want to go see? Oh, there were a
handful of things that I thought were out that looked good.
Don't you want to go see? Don't say Springsteen, No, no,
I have no desire to see that same. I guess
Predator bad Lands is next week that I actually would

(02:39:16):
go see. Yeah, I thought there were some things that
were at Bogonia. I think looks kind of interesting. That's
our buddy stuff. Ars Halkias is in that Black Phone
two chainsaw Man. Don't see any of you don't want
to see chainsaw Man? Nonsense?

Speaker 5 (02:39:31):
All right?

Speaker 2 (02:39:32):
Good fortune? What's that? Maybe i'd like that? Oh that's
the key ONU is an angel movie. I think Seth
Rogan and Azi's I'm sorry in't.

Speaker 1 (02:39:39):
It that sounds? I mean, it's an hour and thirty
eight minutes. Gives me something to do perfect, Like how
bad could that be?

Speaker 2 (02:39:45):
Yeah? Bad?

Speaker 5 (02:39:46):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:39:46):
Like it could be really really bad, right see tron Aries. No,
I've heard the jarring reviews of that. I'm I finally
got around to it. It was not good. No, nope,
I was really excited for it. I heard Stansburg like, oh,
it was so good, so good, and I was so
ready for it because I love that franchise. It was
not fun to watch, but it makes no sense. It's

(02:40:08):
all over the place. You're like, oh my good, it
was not.

Speaker 1 (02:40:11):
So you got to watch one again, ready, tront Aris Cleveland. Superman.

Speaker 2 (02:40:19):
Oh, I keep thinking that Superman's gonna get me at
some point. I've seen it, Well, I haven't seen it twice.
You bailed saw once, got through about forty five minutes
the second time, and I'm like, nope, I'm reading this
at the exact same way. I don't think a third
time is gonna do anything. I mean, I got it

(02:40:41):
pretty solid the first time. Yeah, but I was like, well,
I'll give it another shot, you know, and we'll see
what happens. You know. So is it Superman or Trump?
What's that?

Speaker 22 (02:40:51):
What?

Speaker 2 (02:40:51):
Are you gonna watch again Superman or Trump? Well, I've
already seen Superman uh once in forty five minutes, So
I guess I would watch Tron again. Oh boy, yeah,
I'd watch Tron again. It's compelling viewing, it's cast well,
but it's just it's a mess. So yeah, I would

(02:41:12):
do that. If you were to categorize, and we've kind
of talked about this on occasion, categorize the worst ways
to die. Everybody kind of has their own. You know,
you have things in your own head ways in which
you would not want to die, drowning, fire, whatever. Yeah,
and then they are all the weird ones that you

(02:41:33):
might not even conjure up in your own head but
when you hear it, you go, that would be a
terrible way to die. A guy who is crushed by
a pop up urinal. In Europe they have these, if
you've ever been overseas, they're these giant public urinals that
look like elevators and they come up out of the
sidewalk and then they go back down. This guy was

(02:41:54):
and they're blaming him for his own death. Of course
they are, because his wife said that the company was responsible.
I don't know how that could possibly be the case,
and when people are grieving in a situation like this,
they want someone to be held responsible. I just don't
know how you could hold the company responsible. The pop

(02:42:16):
up toilet. This is a sixty year old guy there
in England. A pop up toilet that he was working
under collapsed and the wife said, well, it's the company's
fault and it was because of there was a portion
of it. I guess that was there was corrosion or
something that caused the hydraulic system to fail. So this

(02:42:39):
heavy metal round elevator tube looking thing that's a public
urinal fell on the guy who was run underneath and
crushed him, so he was probably killed instantly. The company's like,
there's no The wife suit saying, you guys weren't maintaining
this properly, that's why there was corrosion, and they said
there was no way for us to know. That's why

(02:43:00):
why the guy was under there working on it. They
say that it was the guy's fault. He was experienced,
he had plenty of training and he didn't take the
proper safety precautions.

Speaker 1 (02:43:13):
I guess it's a tough way to go, but it's
not the worst, right, Like probably quick. I would imagine he.

Speaker 2 (02:43:20):
Was trying to replace the urinal's water pump while it
was still raised. They said protocol it required you to
lower it before working that. Yeah, listen, you know, if
I'm gonna be underneath, I don't want it up. I
want it down so then I can get underneath it. Anyway,
crushed to death by public urinal hydraulic powered toilets. There's

(02:43:43):
a photo of one. He's here in and around Metro
London there. I remember it's been many, many years, and
I haven't gone back to take a look. But before
I went back home to Chicago, and I was still
on the air in Pittsburgh, they were dipping their toe,
if you will, into public restrooms and so they had
a couple of these. I think they were on Carson Street.

(02:44:06):
I think they were on the South Side. You're talking
two thousand and five, two thousand and six, maybe even
a little bit earlier, where they were trying like the
public pea pods, right, And of course the pushback to
those in any city is, well, homeless people are going
to use them for tents or whatever, but you got

(02:44:26):
to pay to get in them. And I free and
mixed reviews on those, by the way, cities that invest
in public toilets, but to be crushed under one death
by urinal bad but again probably quick. Alan I used

(02:44:50):
to say that if I were to commit suicide, I
would tie piano wire around my neck and tie it
off and then super glue my hands to my face
and jump so it looked like like I ripped my
own head off. Yep, boy, that is creative. That's like
a Tony collect in hereditary vibe right there.

Speaker 10 (02:45:07):
That heard.

Speaker 1 (02:45:08):
That's wild. It's a great idea if you're going to
do it.

Speaker 2 (02:45:13):
Mmmm.

Speaker 1 (02:45:15):
That's a great idea you're saying. I mean, if you're
going to try to make it a splash.

Speaker 6 (02:45:19):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (02:45:20):
You know what I mean, if you want to make
a go out with a bang as well? Okay, like
you want to make it like a wow. That's that's
a that's a wow. Yeah, that's Do you put some
thought into it? I mean there should be risk of
being insensitive.

Speaker 2 (02:45:34):
Well, listen, we've all been touched in one way or
another by suicide, but there's nothing wrong with suggesting that
you put a little showbiz into it. I mean, if
done properly, it is the very last thing you'll do right.
There's a case to be made in some philosophers and
neuroscientists have made it over the years that the only

(02:45:55):
real choice a human has in life is to end it.
The only real choice you have. You talk to neuroscientists,
they will make the case that there's no real such
thing as free will, because your brain fires neurons nanoseconds
before you even know you're going to do something. So
the concept of free will is not necessarily just relegated
to matters of the religious and the philosophical. There is

(02:46:17):
a science behind it, and it does not exist. So
the case is made by those people sometimes that the
only real choice you can ever make, ironically in your
life is to end it. So put some showbiz into it.
What's the matter? What a deep doesn't have to be

(02:46:37):
be really shallow. Maybe you could get underneath a public
urinal and then go from there.

Speaker 1 (02:46:44):
I always thought like, what would probably have to be
one of the worst ways to go, like backwards into
a wood chipper.

Speaker 2 (02:46:52):
Backwards, Yeah, you know what I mean? They can head first,
like feet first first woodchipper. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (02:46:58):
Like head first, you're like dead, it's over. You get
time to go like, oh dead, but the other way around,
like you end up like you go in feet first.
It just goes and goes and goes and goes and
goes until finally that's rough man.

Speaker 2 (02:47:11):
Yeah, I was thinking about those guys that get pulled in,
like guys on landscaping crews. That's got to be the worst.
Or they get dried into a machine like some industrial thing,
and you know, oh yeah, because they got time to
know what's going.

Speaker 1 (02:47:22):
On, right, and you feel it, you know, yeah, it's
got to be the worst. But there's a million I mean,
nothing is good. There's no good way to die.

Speaker 2 (02:47:31):
It sucks, no, But for a lot of people, once
they've decided they're going to do it, there's no talking
them out of it, right and there. And people who
have you know, I've I've told the story. My girlfriend
in college killed herself and you are in the immediate aftermath,
if you are not blamed by other people. Her parents
took a great interest in somehow thinking that I had

(02:47:53):
something to.

Speaker 8 (02:47:54):
Do with it.

Speaker 2 (02:47:55):
At the time, jeez, that you are of course racked
with guilt, you know, if you were that close to
that person, so because you think if only I had
done X Y and Z. That person would still be around.
Sometimes that works out for a lot of people. It
does not for some people. Once they have decided they're
going to do it, there's nothing that you can or

(02:48:17):
could have done sure to dissuade them of that notion.
But hey, have awesome good time.

Speaker 1 (02:48:25):
Halloween is a buddy al Jor gets at Minister.

Speaker 2 (02:48:30):
It's not spooky, but it's when he was still doing
his fake British accident. So it's maybe you and your
wife should go to a Halloween dance party tomorrow night.
Rob hi Ellen, I'm robbed. I'm just gonna keep going
with that. It doesn't mean that you can't do certain things,
Yes it does. Imagine if you were cutting a rug

(02:48:53):
with your lovely wife, she'd be like, oh my god, Rob,
I've never seen And then she tells your daughter, oh
you should have seen. Your daddy was have it so
much fun? And my girls will go, what's wrong with dad?
Is he dying? Why why did you do that? What's
what's going on? What's what don't we know? Why did
dad just purchase super glue and a length of piano wire?
Is there any reason that that's something wrong with dad?

(02:49:13):
Is something wrong with him? Is he gonna be okay?

Speaker 1 (02:49:16):
Is he?

Speaker 2 (02:49:17):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:49:17):
Wait a minute, you said dad suggested you go dancing
on Halloween. Okay, okay, Mom, what is wrong with dad?
You put a mask on in your poe go?

Speaker 2 (02:49:26):
No all right? No, no, no, no, that's a suggestion.
No no, no, hey, we gotta go. I'll be asleep
by eight thirty on a Friday night. On a Friday night.

Speaker 18 (02:49:37):
Good for you.

Speaker 2 (02:49:38):
Well, it's an exhausting week. You certainly worked yourself up
over this office partner. Oh, I didn't much to the
delight of this audience. By the ways they loved it.
Huh you think they like aggravated Alan They love rage
and rock, big fans.

Speaker 5 (02:49:59):
Good the Elin Cock Show on.

Speaker 11 (02:50:02):
One hundred point sevens and special financing Wayside furniture keeping
at local since nineteen thirty seven.

Speaker 15 (02:50:12):
From the Avon Lake Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram Studios.

Speaker 9 (02:50:15):
We say yes, WMMS Cleveland called the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 2 (02:50:23):
Girls, this is your opportunity right here, a nice boy,
let me tell you that.

Speaker 13 (02:50:27):
Two one six seven eight one double oh seven or
one eight hundred and three four eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (02:50:42):
Well, the lights are back on out there in the
office suite. It looks like things are returning to their
natural state. Oh yeah, I'm a little log rats. That
office party is has burned itself out.

Speaker 1 (02:50:54):
On the little rugrats that are stuck here while their
parents do like clean up, already starting to melt down.
Is that what's happening? Well, they're little kids though, right,
so good? The only ones that are left for little kids.
They're normally in bed, like in forty five minutes, and
they're here watching mom drink wine.

Speaker 2 (02:51:12):
Yeah, well good. Hey. I just sent on another batch
of Alan Cox show stickers this morning, and I'm always
happy to send them out for people to email me.
Alan at alancockhrow dot com is the email to send
your address. And I also like when people send me
photos of where they've tagged the show. Now I don't
have the person's name, I only have their email address,

(02:51:33):
but I posted the photo at the Alan Cox Show
Facebook page. They tagged us in Athens grease and in
the background you can see some old ruins, which is
pretty cool. I'll post the photos. Rachel has tagged the
show in Memphis right there on Beale Street, and I
always like to post those whenever I can. Of course,

(02:51:54):
I'm the jag off that when I travel I never
remember to bring stickers with me. They're like back at
the hotel in my backpack instead of in my pocket
where they should be.

Speaker 1 (02:52:06):
And so.

Speaker 2 (02:52:08):
I think the last place I tagged was Sedona, and
that was a couple of years ago probably, But I'm
happy to mail them out to you. Uh, if you
just shoot me an email with your address. Oh, play
a message here, cotton balls?

Speaker 5 (02:52:29):
I think?

Speaker 2 (02:52:30):
Hey Allen, what's the folloween?

Speaker 14 (02:52:32):
Rob?

Speaker 25 (02:52:33):
I just picked up my Jamison in my sider, excited
for tomorrow. I know Jame's not the one you usually
go to, So what do you guys like.

Speaker 18 (02:52:39):
Mixing in it?

Speaker 1 (02:52:40):
I do like Jamison, I do too, but insider Jamison insider,
I haven't had that.

Speaker 2 (02:52:46):
I've had Dick Insider, Dick insider. Bro Hey Allen, what's
the folloween?

Speaker 10 (02:52:54):
Robb?

Speaker 8 (02:52:55):
Sorry?

Speaker 25 (02:52:56):
I just picked up my Jamison in my sider, excited
for tomorrow. I know jameis not the one you usually
go to, So what do you guys like mixing in it?
Or what's your go to fall drink? If anybody's out
tomorrow and they see a big bad wolf and he
smells like boozy apples and cinnamon. Can you hit the
post on little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham
and the Pharaohs.

Speaker 2 (02:53:18):
Isn't that a cold open? All that Red rid Sam
the Sham and the Pharaohs. Yeah, that opens cold, right?
Is that I see walking in these woods? Red riding?

Speaker 5 (02:53:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:53:35):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (02:53:36):
Then then Red Riding U was Wooly Bully. Their song
was at their big hit, Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully. But
this is a big too.

Speaker 1 (02:53:53):
Red Riding cotton Ball sounds like a big, little big girl.
I mean, yeah, he said he smells like apple and cinnamon,
and he's boozy apples and cinnamon. He's just like a
big bed Wolvez. Just sounds like the drinking one guy
Jamison in the cider.

Speaker 11 (02:54:09):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (02:54:10):
I like Jamison and anything, Yeah, Jamison And I don't know,
I don't mind a hot toddy. That's what he's talking about,
Like a warm drink.

Speaker 1 (02:54:21):
Yeah, I mean he's talking specifically about spiked apple cider,
which usually it's you know, it's mold or whatever. But
I've always had it with bourbon obviously. Mean, it's not
that dissimilar to Irish whiskey, so I'm sure it's just
a little sweeter.

Speaker 2 (02:54:35):
Maybe that's great.

Speaker 13 (02:54:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:54:36):
Years ago and we were in Paris for Christmas and
we went to like one of those kinder markets or whatever,
and the hot mulled wine. Yeah, and the chestnuts. I
mean it's like a goddamn greeting car. It was so
good roasting. I don't know how any phone. My neighbors
across the street. I do look forward to that tomorrow night.
My neighbors across the street. Our very last stop is

(02:54:58):
they just have a big card table set up, a
couple of older guys, young kids, and they just have
like thermoses full of hot toddies for the grown ups
that we're walking by. I love it. That's great. And
one of them's usually got it's not warmed up, but
it's usually got a clear giant bottle of some Eastern

(02:55:18):
European hooch that he's like daring people to take tugs of.

Speaker 1 (02:55:22):
My my buddy that came to visit. We went to
the marble room together. I remember I told you Al
from Providence. Yeah, he brings a bottle every time I
see him of his stuff that he makes. It's a
Lithuanian spirit. It is delicious. It's called Krypnicus, and that's
what I'll break out on, like after I go out
and do the driveway and stuff in the winter, I'll

(02:55:45):
take a few SIPs.

Speaker 2 (02:55:46):
Of that, so it's it's sweet, so good, yum yum.

Speaker 1 (02:55:51):
I don't know what I'm gonna do this year, man, Like,
this is the first time in my life having kids
that I don't have anyone around. Caitlin is staying on campus,
so she's obviously not coming home, and Cali's going to
a Halloween party, so we're like, what are we gonna do?

Speaker 2 (02:56:09):
You just I guess empty nesters at Halloween everything. Just
sit at home.

Speaker 1 (02:56:12):
Rightaw to see if anybody comes to the house when
we give out candy.

Speaker 2 (02:56:16):
Go on a Halloween barkrawl. I don't really, Hi, I'm
rob have we met. Well, I'm just saying it's a
Friday night. I guess that makes it all right. It's
a principle. Sorry Saturday and I screw that up. But no,
I don't know. Yeah, I mean, let the chips fall
where they may and then sleep in Saturday morning. I'm
guessing we'll just end up like grabbing dinner. I'm going home.

Speaker 1 (02:56:39):
I don't I don't like our neighborhood isn't busy with
kids for trick or treating isn't either.

Speaker 2 (02:56:45):
We don't have a ton of little kids on our streets.
You go to the movies or something, Is there anything
I want to see? My ex wife is serbian. And
there was this thing called like Schlovecha or I've Got
It was plumb brandy. It would knock you on your
ass if you had too much. It was really good,
but it was it was deceptively alcoholic, you know, just
fermented fruit brandy. I don't want to be too hungover Saturday,

(02:57:10):
Rob because I'm going to be a dis house of
sports right the grand opening there. They're opening a brand
new one in Strongsville. So if you're down Strongsville Way,
come by and say, hey, we'll have all kinds of
fun set up for you. I'll be there from eleven
a to one p at the brand new dis in
Strongsville with Dabbleumms, your FM home for Cleveland Cavaliers basketball.

(02:57:33):
He just figures, there's absolutely nothing in theaters that I
want to see. Oh, you don't want to go see? Oh,
there were a handful of things that I thought were
out that looked good don't you want to go see
don't say Springsteen. No, No, I have no desire to
see that same. I guess Predator bad Lands is next
week that I actually would go see. Yeah, I thought

(02:57:54):
there were some things that were at Bogonia. I think
looks kind of interesting. That's our buddy stuff. Vers Halkias
is in that Black Phone two chainsaw Man. Don't see
you don't want to see chainsaw Man? Nonsense? All right,
good fortune?

Speaker 5 (02:58:10):
What's that?

Speaker 2 (02:58:10):
Maybe I'd like that? Oh, that's the key on who
is an Angel movie? I think Seth Rogan and Azi's
I'm Sorry in it. That sounds I mean, it's an
hour and thirty eight minutes, gives me something to do perfect, Like,
how could could that be? Yeah? Bad?

Speaker 5 (02:58:23):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:58:23):
Like, it could be really really bad? Right se tron Aries.

Speaker 1 (02:58:27):
No, I've heard the jarring reviews of that. I'm hey,
I finally got around to it.

Speaker 2 (02:58:32):
It was not good. No, nope, I was really excited
for it. I heard Stansbury like, oh it was so good,
so good, and I was so ready for it because
I love that franchise. It was not fun to watch,
but it makes no sense. It's all over the place.
You're like Oh my good, it was not.

Speaker 1 (02:58:49):
So you gotta watch one again? Ready, Tron Aries Cleveland, Superman.

Speaker 2 (02:58:57):
Oh, I keep thinking that Superman's gonna get me at
some point. I've seen it. Well, I haven't seen it twice.
You bailed so once got through about forty five minutes
the second time, and I'm like, nope, I'm reading this
at the exact same way. I don't think a third
time is gonna do anything. I mean, I got it

(02:59:18):
pretty solid the first time. Yeah, but I was like, well,
I give it another shot, you know, and we'll see
what happens. You know. So is it Superman or Trump?
What's that? What are you gonna watch again? Superman or Trump? Well,
I've already seen Superman once in forty five minutes, so
I guess I would watch Tron again. Oh boy, Yeah,
I'd watch Tron again. It was it's compelling viewing, it's

(02:59:41):
cast well, but it's just it's a mess. So yeah,
I would do that. If you were to categorize, and
we've kind of talked about this on occasion, categorize the
worst ways to die. Everybody kind of has their own,

(03:00:02):
you know, you have things in your own head ways
in which you would not want to die, drowning, fire, whatever,
and then they're all the weird ones that you might
not even conjure up in your own head, but when
you hear it, you go, that would be a terrible
way to die. A guy who is crushed by a
pop up urinal. In Europe they have these, if you've
ever been overseas, they're these giant public urinals that look

(03:00:25):
like elevators and they come up out of the sidewalk
and then they go back down. This guy was and
they're blaming him for his own death. Of course they
are because his wife said that the company was responsible.
I don't know how that could possibly be the case.
And when people are grieving in a situation like this,

(03:00:46):
they want someone to be held responsible. I just don't
know how you could hold the company responsible the pop
up toilet. This is a sixty year old guy there
in England. A pop up toilet that he was working
under collapsed and the wife said, well, it's the company's fault,
and it was because of there was a portion of it.

(03:01:08):
I guess that was there was corrosion or something that
caused the hydraulic system to fail. So this heavy metal
round elevator tube looking thing that's a public urinal fell
on the guy who was run underneath and crushed him,
so he was probably killed instantly. The company's like, there's

(03:01:30):
no The wife's suit saying, you guys weren't maintaining this properly.
That's why there was corrosion. And they said there was
no way for us to know that's why the guy
was under there working on it. They say that it
was the guy's fault. He was experienced, he had plenty
of training, and he didn't take the proper safety precautions.

(03:01:50):
I guess it's a tough way to go, but it's
not the worst, right, Like probably quick. I would imagine
he was trying to replace the urinal's water pump while
it was still raised. They said, protocol, it'd require you
to lower it before working that. Yeah, listen, you know,
if I'm gonna be underneath, I don't want it up.

(03:02:12):
I want it down so then I can get underneath it. Anyway,
crushed to death by public urinal hydraulic powered toilets. There's
a photo of one these here in and around Metro
London there. I remember it's been many, many years and
I haven't gone back to take a look. But before

(03:02:33):
I went back home to Chicago, and I was still
on the air in Pittsburgh, they were dipping their toe,
if you will, into public restrooms and so they had
a couple of these. I think they were on Carson Street.
I think they were on the South Side. You're talking
two thousand and five, two thousand and six, maybe even
a little bit earlier, where they were trying like the
public pea pods, right, And of course the pushback to

(03:02:58):
those in any city is, well, homeless people are going
to use them for tents or whatever, but you got
to pay to get in them and not free. And uh,
mixed reviews on those, by the way, cities that invest
in public toilets but to be crushed under one death

(03:03:19):
by urinal bad but again probably quick.

Speaker 5 (03:03:27):
Alan.

Speaker 2 (03:03:27):
I used to say that if I were to commit suicide,
I would tie piano wire around my neck and tie
it off and then super glue my hands to my
face and jump so it looked like I ripped my
own head off. Yep, boy, that is creative. That's like
a Tony Collette in Hereditary Vibe right there. Uh, that
that's wild. It's a great idea if you're going to

(03:03:49):
do it. Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (03:03:52):
That's a great idea you're saying. I mean, if you're
going to try to make it a splash, mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (03:03:57):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (03:03:57):
If you want to make a go out with a
bang like you want to make it like a wow.
That's that's that's a wow. Yeah, that's do you put
some thought into it. I mean, there should be the
risk of being insensitive.

Speaker 2 (03:04:11):
Well, listen, we've all been touched in one way or
another by suicide. Yes, but there's nothing wrong with suggesting
that you put a little showbiz into it. I mean,
if done properly, it is the very last thing you'll do.

Speaker 5 (03:04:24):
Right.

Speaker 2 (03:04:25):
There's a case to be made in some philosophers and
neuroscientists have made it over the years that the only
real choice a human has in life is to end it.
The only real choice you have. You talk to neuroscientists,
they will make the case that there's no real such
thing as free will because your brain fires neurons nanoseconds

(03:04:46):
before you even know you're going to do something. So
the concept of free will is not necessarily just relegated
to matters of the religious and the philosophical. There is
a science behind it and it does not exist. So
the case is made by those people sometimes that the
only real choice you can ever make, ironically in your
life is to end it. So put some showbiz into it.

(03:05:10):
What's no matter what, That deep doesn't have to be
be really shallow. Maybe you could get underneath a public
urinal and then uh go from there.

Speaker 1 (03:05:22):
I always thought like, what would probably have to be
one of the worst ways to go, like backwards into
a wood chipper.

Speaker 2 (03:05:30):
Backwards, yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (03:05:31):
They can at first, like oh, feet first, head first,
wood shipper, you know what I mean, Like head first,
you're like dead, it's over. You get time to go
like oh dead. But the other way around, like you
end up like you go in feet first. It just
goes and goes and goes and goes and goes until
finally that's rough.

Speaker 10 (03:05:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:05:49):
I was thinking about those guys that get pulled in
like guys on landscaping crewise, that's gotta be the worst.
Or they get dried into a machine like some industrial
thing and you know, oh yeah, because it got time
to know it's going.

Speaker 1 (03:06:00):
On, right and you feel it, you know, yeah, it's
got to be the worst. But there's a million. I mean,
nothing is good. There's no good way to die.

Speaker 2 (03:06:09):
It sucks, no, But for a lot of people, once
they've decided they're going to do it, there's no talking
them out of it, right and there. And people who
have you know, I've I've told the story. My girlfriend
in college killed herself and you are in the immediate aftermath,
if you are not blamed by other people. Her parents,
Uh took a great interest in somehow thinking that I

(03:06:31):
had something to do with it at the time. Jeez,
that you are of course racked with guilt, you know,
if you were that close to that person, so because
you think if only I had done X, Y and Z,
that person would still be around. Sometimes that works out
for a lot of people. It does not for some people.
Once they have decided they're going to do it, there's

(03:06:53):
nothing that you can or could have done sure to
dissuade them of that notion.

Speaker 6 (03:06:59):
But hey, I have some good time.

Speaker 1 (03:07:02):
Halloween is good. A bother hal Jor gets a minister.
It's not spooky, but it's when he was.

Speaker 2 (03:07:10):
Still doing his fake British accent, so it's fucking Maybe
you and your wife should go to a Halloween dance party.
Tomorrow night, Rob, Hi, Ellen, I'm Robbed.

Speaker 5 (03:07:21):
We met.

Speaker 2 (03:07:23):
He's gonna keep going with that. But it doesn't mean
that you can't do certain things. Yes it does.

Speaker 1 (03:07:28):
Imagine if you were cutting a rug with your lovely wife,
she'd be like, oh my god, Rob, I've never seen him.
Then she tells your daughter, oh, you should have seen
your daddy was having so much fucking.

Speaker 2 (03:07:38):
My girls will go, what's wrong with dad? Is he dying?

Speaker 5 (03:07:41):
Why?

Speaker 2 (03:07:41):
Why did you do that? What's what's going on? What
don't we know? Why did dad just purchase super glue
and a length of piano water? Is there any reason
that that's something wrong with dad? Is something wrong with him?
Is he gonna be okay? Is he okay? You said
dad suggested you go dancing? I'm Halloween okay, okay, Mom?
What is wrong with dad? You put a mask on

(03:08:02):
in your pog? No all right? No, no, no, no,
that's a suggestion. No no, no, Hey, we got to go.
I'll be asleep by eight thirty on a Friday night.
On a Friday night, good for you, Well, it's an
exhausting week. You certainly worked yourself up over this office partner. Oh,
I didn't much to the delight of this audience. By

(03:08:25):
the way, they love usiness. They loved it. Huh you
think they like aggravated Alan? They love rage and Rob
big fans.

Speaker 5 (03:08:36):
Good.

Speaker 2 (03:08:37):
Okay, we got to go. Where can people hit you up?
Just to make sure I shouldn't say, make sure to
confirm that you're not black? I got Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:08:48):
I guess it was probably the whole our Nward Anthony
thing that made people question any again. But that guy
was like I started following Rob. I thought he was
He thought I was black. Yeah, hey, listen, I'll take it.
We're on camera every day.

Speaker 2 (03:09:00):
Yep, wmms Rob on Instagram. Okay, I'm Alan Cox Show
on your socials. The program is available for you in
its entirety wherever you get your podcasts. If you want
to listen on our iHeartRadio app. There's the added benefit
of the low red microphone talkback Bud. I want to
leave us messages there. My thanks to James Renner. Always

(03:09:20):
great to see him. It's not Halloween here on the
show without talking to James Renner James Renner dot Com.
He's got a new book coming out next year. His
podcast is True Crime. This week, he's got a couple
of them. He's a very busy dude, very sharp guy,
fantastic writer. And the show on our YouTube channel if

(03:09:40):
you prefer to watch it, This and past episodes are
all there. Shoot me an email if you need stickers
or I don't know. You just want to know what
Rob's really like at alancoxshow dot com.

Speaker 5 (03:09:52):
This is what I'm really like.

Speaker 2 (03:09:53):
No surprises, and that's it. Thanks guys very much for
hanging out. Comedian Michael Longfellow formerly US and L. He's
doing hilarities this weekend. He will be in with us
here tomorrow, so we'll catch up with him. And that's it.
We'll talk to you again tomorrow around two. Thanks for
hanging out. I will see you in out.

Speaker 1 (03:10:10):
Just before we go, I'm going to go to the
bathroom for a bit, not to cry about you leaving,
but just to take a huge dump.

Speaker 2 (03:10:16):
So if you hear any crying from the bathroom, that
about you.

Speaker 3 (03:10:22):
It's the dump.

Speaker 8 (03:10:23):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, stay light on your mental feet.

(03:10:44):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you. Can will all narities. Remember bets paid. And
when you watch that screen, remember it works both ways.

(03:11:05):
You'll disappear in a wink. Unless you can double think,
you'll vanish into the blue. Big brother is watching you.
This is the Allen card.

Speaker 9 (03:11:22):
Show everywhere on our free iHeartRadio app or whatever smart
device you have. Just tell it to play the Allen
Carr Show on iHeartRadio, iHeart Medium music.

Speaker 1 (03:11:34):
And now I must leave you as the Brady Bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 6 (03:11:41):
Get at it.

Speaker 8 (03:11:42):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(03:12:03):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you.

Speaker 2 (03:12:09):
And with all naritis.

Speaker 8 (03:12:13):
Remember obedience paid. And when you watch that TV screens,
remember it works both ways. You disappear in a wink
unless you can double think, you'll vanish into the blue.

(03:12:34):
Big Brother is watching you.