SOME OF THE ALAN COX SHOW 11/7

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny Things that you think is funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jimmy coxbolling time do cockshow kicks, ash Man welcome.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
Show me what I'm gonna see a lot of cocks
on TV?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Allen pods from me all poo.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
I don't know what's about you?

Speaker 5 (00:23):
By Vader?

Speaker 6 (00:25):
I thank you cool?

Speaker 7 (00:27):
It would be a great show.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Let's tick coffee ticket.

Speaker 8 (00:30):
And you'll just eight with a safety group. Okay, what
three tickets?

Speaker 9 (00:36):
Take it to?

Speaker 10 (00:38):
Damn?

Speaker 4 (00:38):
Put you one time ticket?

Speaker 7 (00:40):
What Allen Cox?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here we go, he'll add, He'll be fine.

Speaker 11 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U M M as.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
I got an email from Allen.

Speaker 12 (01:01):
He said, you guys have been playing you know, we're
a wash in the AI slop songs and the popular
ones now are like what if this song was a
soul song from the seventies, and there isn't a single
song that isn't instantly even if it's the greatest song
in the world, it's still still improved by turning it
into a seventies funk or soul song.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Have you heard move Bitch by Ludacris What Alan said?

Speaker 6 (01:27):
No to fight out, I'm about to punch showisa.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 12 (01:48):
To stop it because then, of course it starts plopping
in the F bombs. But thank you Alan for sending that.
I go to a lot of shows. I go to
most of them by myself. But apparently you're a loser
if you do this. This is what I'm hearing. If
you do this, it means you are a loser. I
don't think so, I don't care if that's but that's

(02:09):
what I heard. If you go to shows by yourself,
you're a loser. Except more and more people are doing
this for the very reasons.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
I've talked about. You get to dip in and dip
out whenever you want.

Speaker 12 (02:24):
But ticket brokers and promoters are noticing that there's a
huge since the pandemic. So there are echoes of people
being like, well, I want to do stuff, but I'm
not super comfortable around other people. Blah blah blah. Now
the irony is you end up in a crowd full
of people. So it can't all be waves of the pandemic,

(02:44):
but more and more people, whether it's shows, festivals, I
don't know that I would go to a festival by myself,
because that is contingent on You got to do that
if you're like planning on making new friends.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
I don't necessarily need that. I mean, it is a
little easier for me because I know people are going
to come up to me. We kind of do have
that that little added benefit.

Speaker 12 (03:12):
I guess for people if you're looking for interaction, right,
I'll have people will come up to me and say
hi or whatever. So I'm not going in ice cold.
But I go to most shows by myself. Hey, most
people don't want to go to death metal shows with me.
I'm not going to drag anybody to a show they
don't want to be a part of. So I go
to love Is by myself. Melissa got me to go

(03:33):
out this past weekend. We went to dinner with a
new couple that I've never even met. So I was
pretty proud of myself. Wasn't starved for conversation. I was
a I did pre drink a little, but it was fine.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
I did great. I mean, I'm pretty damn happy with myself.
An she got you to go out? Oh yeah, under duress?
She said, do you want to make plans with so
and so, And I said, you know what you said nope,
I said you know what, yes? And she looked at
me like I had seventeen heads and she was sure

(04:08):
you called her gluff And I said yes And she said, okay,
whatn be funny if she didn't want to? And she
was asked, you want to? Rob, does want to go
out again?

Speaker 7 (04:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (04:16):
She was doing She was doing her diligence, assuming you
would say no, he's such a dick, he doesn't never
want to do anything every fifth time. You got to
say yes and keep her on her toes. Yeah, we
went it up. We went out and then we went
out for drinks after two different places. Oh, I'm telling you, man,
you never follows a hippie to a second location. Rob,
You're following brand new people. The second I was I was,
I was, I was a man about town. Were you

(04:38):
guys bouncing around the square there in Madonna?

Speaker 3 (04:41):
And we had dinner at uh at one place, And
then we walked up and had a margarita at.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
An o place.

Speaker 12 (04:47):
Oh, they have a little martini spot there. I haven't
been to the Medina yere in a minute.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a whole bunch of new stuff
going into the big hotel.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
And uh, now is this just a fore top or
was it like a four top? Yeah? Yeah, look at me,
man making conversation? Oh yeah, yeah yeah. Now is it
mostly them asking you about what you do for a living?

Speaker 13 (05:07):
Not?

Speaker 3 (05:08):
I mean it did come up, we talked. I mean
they knew, but it was not that really. There wasn't
a which is what I liked, I think about the conversation.
So these were very little about me.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Was this a couple that your wife had met but
you hadn't met?

Speaker 3 (05:19):
No, so our daughters are friends. Oh okay, so Cally,
my youngest and their daughter so close.

Speaker 12 (05:26):
You had some connective tissue here. Yeah, this is the
first you knew them. This is the first time you
had gone out socially with them, correct, scotcha.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
And there was there was a lot more in common
than I had probably previously thought too. So conversation wasn't
It wasn't a difficult thing. It was right to tell me, man,
I was felt good about myself that whole next day.
I'm like, look at that I went out. I wasn't
a miserable son of a bitch the entire time I
wasn't looking at Melissa, giving or want of your eyes
the entire time.

Speaker 12 (05:54):
Now, when the conversation invariably turns to the lifestyle, do
you go to yours theirs?

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah? Thankfully that we didn't get to that part yet.
Maybe our next hangout. There was no talk of swapping.
There was no talk of swapping. That's it was.

Speaker 10 (06:11):
It was.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
It was all on the up and up. It was nice. Okay, yeah, man,
look at me. Could have could have been more opened up.
I get I see what you're doing. All right, Well
that's good, that's great. Yeah, yeah I was. I was
proud of myself my efforts.

Speaker 12 (06:32):
Did your wife take the time to thank you in
a particular way when you got home?

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Come on, no, no, woman, what is the payoff for you?
I think make a new friend.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
I think she was just happy that she had a
human as a husband for a night, and I was
probably overrated. Yeah, she was like, oh, so this is
what it's like to be around people and not have
to deal with a pain in the ass husband all
the time.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
You know who your man is. I know every woman
knows who her man is, and every man knows who
his woman is.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
It still must be nice tone and like you don't
have to worry, like, oh god, because I'm sure she
was puckered through like the first.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Hour, you know, like, oh god, he's gonna want to
leave right now as soon as we sat.

Speaker 12 (07:13):
Oh, I thought you meant like she I'm like, she's
got to know you're not going to like say something weird. No,
but she thought you were going to get antsy right.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Away right away? Yeah, like can we at least finish dinner?

Speaker 12 (07:22):
Yeah, but but you said you kind of what pre
gamed a little bit, take a bait off. And then
I I went the like I get that to me
would be a gummy situation. So well, if I ate them,
you know what I mean, And if I if I
end up cross fading, I'm a wreck. I can't I
can't do that. I want to stay with one thing.

(07:42):
And I was I was just I was annoyed that
I that I said yes for like ten minutes. And
that's how I knew I was going to be fine,
because usually I'm miserable right up until the second we pull.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Up to the place, and I'm like a sonble bitch,
I just want to be.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
Home watching TV. Yeah, And then I didn't do any
of that, just like at home. I was like, I
kind of wish I just didn't say that, but I
didn't say anything out loud. It was fun, man, I
was really surprised.

Speaker 14 (08:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (08:09):
Well, and also that Madina Square you can get a
lot done, so you're kind of confined.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
You're not getting in the car, you're driving somewhere, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, yeah, no, it helps, And there was they opened
up a really cool new place that's kind of like
a downstairs sort of speakeasy vibe. They're building a new hotel,
so they're bringing in a lot of stuff to Madina,
which is kind of cool, you know, because it's not
all just like the crappy food pubs, you know what.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
I mean, Like there's a lot of like stuff to do.

Speaker 12 (08:37):
No disrespect to the crappy food pub which is right
down there in it's exactly what it's called.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Yeah there's a stub, but but you know what I mean,
Like you know bar food type pubs, which is there's
there's always a place for I go to them, but
sometimes you want something a little nicer than you know,
but the beer and a hot bug understood. So I
I one place I do have to say, they try
to like, you know, be bigger than what they are

(09:04):
kind of thing. And I ordered a martini?

Speaker 2 (09:07):
You want to or no? All right? I want I
wanted a martini, you know. I'm like, I let me
get a dirty Martin. You can have Kettle one Dirty Martin. Oh,
we don't have Kettle one, I said, I have Grey Goose.
Don't have kettle We don't have gray Goose. I'm like,
what do you mean, Oh, we have this local vodka.
And I'm like, well come on now.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
I'm like, what do you do you have like any Well,
we have Kettle one, but it's vanilla.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Like I don't want them. Who's who's pining for a
local vodka? That's what I said, especially when it's straight.
Oh it's made in Medina. Yeah, if you want to
do like a a flavored one that's local, or or
if you want to have a bottle of it amidst
the gray Goose. But I'm like, now I got to
choke down the drink that I wanted.

Speaker 10 (09:50):
Now.

Speaker 12 (09:51):
One person is ever siled up to a bar and said,
do you guys have any local vodkas?

Speaker 2 (09:55):
What do you have for local spirits? I'm really in
the mood for a good fine a to local bourbon.
You guys have any Ohio produced tequilas. And it wasn't again, it.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Wasn't terrible, but I was kind of like, I was
a little miffed that I couldn't get a regular.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
You know what I mean. I was understood, mom.

Speaker 15 (10:12):
Man.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
You know I could see if I went to like
a brewery, you know what I mean, and they're like, okay,
we have like five things because we're a brewery, but
we are a full service bar like well, and beer.

Speaker 12 (10:22):
Is different than spirits like there, you know, there's a
there's a micro there's a local brewer every two feet
in this place.

Speaker 8 (10:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
And there's some really good ones in in uh In
Medina too, there's But it was a good weekend. This
was a Saturday night. It is a Saturday night, Wow, Sunday.
I wasn't hungover. It was just a good time alright.
Growing up on the Car Show, on one.

Speaker 11 (10:45):
Of it, you can always make more money, you can
never make more time, which is why it's weird that
you've wasted so much of it here.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, that is weird. Good take you, sir, or madam.
Allan Conshell.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Had a great comment here from guy calling himself a
Parma man. In the chat, he says, Dolly Wood is
what Rob has right now thinking about that scenario.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Said very very good Dollywood, well done.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Huh yeah, and our very own dance Stansbury text me
and staid, the man won't eat carbs after one pm.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
He's not effing Dolly.

Speaker 12 (11:31):
At two Stansbury. All right, kind she's not wearing a
suit made of carbs.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Dan so good.

Speaker 16 (11:42):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
He always catch grief on the food stuff.

Speaker 10 (11:44):
I know.

Speaker 12 (11:45):
It's the easy it's the if you'll pardon the pond,
it's the lowest hanging fruit. It's the easier, it's the
easiest thing to grab onto. Uh No, I would not,
because that's a that is a question that will come
out every time you see that all and I will.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Say she does.

Speaker 12 (12:02):
It sounds silly to say, boys, she looks great. I'm
just saying in the context of someone who's had extensive
plastic surgery, you know that can go sideways so easily.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Sure, and she looks great.

Speaker 12 (12:15):
But I'm just like I said, I feel like there's
a series of trusses, and I think the skims and
the spanks are.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
To expect working over time, like eight years old.

Speaker 12 (12:27):
I know, but just because you're eighty one doesn't mean
you can be svelt in eighty one. And again, she
doesn't look like somebody who's being held in. She's still
a very fit woman. I'm sure she's had, listen, whatever
she's had. All I'm saying is, if you were to
present me with a naked Dolly Parton, I would respectfully

(12:48):
decline unless she was down.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
For some freaky, really crazy stuff bull honky. Yeah that's right.
Then you out out of curiosity, but just standard man
on top, man behind to get it over with quick.
I don't know about that. No, thank you. I'm gonna
make you spit my mouth.

Speaker 12 (13:13):
Do you imagine if Dolly Parton is a Greek grea,
I mean she's been married. Her husband passed away, but
she was famously married for like fifty five years or something, right, yeh?

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Her husband, don I think right? Don Parton? No, that
wasn't his name.

Speaker 12 (13:31):
Her husband was Carl Dean and they were married in
nineteen sixty six until his death.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
He just died, and so they were married a long time.
They were married for almost sixty years, would have been
sixty next year, right by my math. He died at
eighty two, and.

Speaker 12 (13:49):
This was a guy who was the quintessential first husband.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
He was happy to step back. Most people didn't.

Speaker 12 (13:58):
Even if you only knew Dolly Parton at a glance,
you didn't even know about this guy that she'd been
married for that long. And so he was with her
since she was eighteen years old, before she was like
Dolly Pardon, before she was famous. And so she posted
this on her Instagram like seven months ago when he died.

(14:20):
She was like, I fell in love with this guy
when he was eighteen years old and we've been together
almost sixteen years, well married almost sixty years, been together
that long, and he ran an asphalt laying business. Right,
you're just a regular dude, and he's like Dolly Parton's
my wife. Sure, but he's doing his job and you know,

(14:43):
there to support her when she needed it when her
bra just wasn't doing the trick. And they never had
kids because she was like, I wanted to focus on
my career, very candid about it. You know, women feel
like they somehow have to make excuse uses if they
don't want kids, and you don't for whatever reason, even

(15:05):
for people who do make I shouldn't excuse us for
people who feel like they have to provide some explanation
as to why they don't want to have kids, even those.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Are somehow ranked.

Speaker 12 (15:15):
You know, well, I don't want to have them because
I don't want to bring a child into this kind
of world. And then people go, well, the world's always
in turmoil. Yeah, but it's probably not going to burn
up in thirty years. That's different than turmoil. So anyway,
Belly Parton was like, no, I never had kids, but

(15:36):
she was very, very focused on like literacy programs, you know,
so very kid centric.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
She's like, I think of myself as a mother to
everyone's children, you know.

Speaker 12 (15:45):
But again she had who knows if she would have
had kids because she said she want to focus on
her career. But obviously she had some health issues too.
But I think on top of that, she's like, I
never was you know, I never had it like this
burning desire to have kids.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
It's never too late.

Speaker 12 (16:04):
And by the way, this is something that I kind
of don't understand. I mean, I'm shooting blanks, rob I
got snipped. I ain't oh for her. Yeah, well, listen,
medicine and science are doing some amazing things and maybe
in the autumn of her years, Dolly Parton, somebody gets

(16:25):
knocked up. Can't you imagine if the announcement is that
Dolly Parton. What was the procedure she was having in vitro.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Oh, we didn't want to get into it, but Dolly
Parton has been suffering from a horrible morning sick that.

Speaker 17 (16:37):
She was having.

Speaker 12 (16:38):
Yeah, she was having her IUD removed. Oh no, well
that could be very painful. That could be very painful.
She had it, put it in nineteen seventy eight. Well
you gotta get them swapped out every half a decade
and uh yeah, oh boy, she's in there screaming.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
That's no fun.

Speaker 12 (17:00):
Boy, when you got to put in or taken out, Boy,
you need some kind of Dolly Parton good.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Every one decides it's finally time to start having children, it's.

Speaker 12 (17:09):
Not time to become a mother. And she dies when
the kid's six months old. I never knew my mom.
Oh does she die young?

Speaker 18 (17:18):
No?

Speaker 2 (17:18):
No, she died old old when I was eighty two. Oh,
I'm so sorry, honey. What happened to your mother? Natural causes?

Speaker 12 (17:24):
Yeah, but she had enemies. Yeah, so no, Dolly Parton
and her husband ever have kids, but she did. And
this is kind of what I don't understand, and maybe
some of you who are a bit more fluid in
your sexual relationships can explain it to me. She described
her marriage to her husband as being an open relationship,

(17:46):
but specifically said that doesn't mean sexually open. Now to me,
if you're going to talk about an open relationship, that's
the only criterion I would care about.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Well, I think to her, she's, well, I like flirt,
mother man.

Speaker 12 (18:02):
And you know, because Jolene was written about this bank teller,
supposedly that was like flirting.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
With her husband. I wonder if that just like if
I found out he was banging somebody else, I'd kill him.
But I can flirt, he can flirt. I'm like, this
is not an open relationship.

Speaker 12 (18:16):
You know, maybe in nineteen sixty six, you know, they
weren't exactly part of the Summer of love.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
I wonder if she just did that to keep that
like hot chick image up, you know what I mean, like,
oh yeah, we're allowed to flirt and now and then
like you know what I mean, like just something silly
just to be like, oh cool, I could still score
with Dolly Parton maybe no.

Speaker 12 (18:34):
But it strikes me more as like what a really
conservative couple would call an open relationship. We can flirt,
you know, like sixty years down the road, those two
that saved their first kiss for their wedding day, Right,
that's gonna be them. We've had some crazy nights. One
night he slept in boxers and he rolled over and

(18:56):
it fell out.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
It fell out. One night he did not have on
his raditional full business suit pajamas, like the kind of
wear in sitcoms when they go to bed, you know,
the lapel he rolled over fill out. Oh, look like
a little little worm outside of Yeah, like akaboo, like

(19:20):
a worm trying to get out of a bird's beak.
Open Dolly Parton's open relationship. He can flirt, I can flirt.
He can go in the bathroom and master bait.

Speaker 17 (19:35):
He wants to.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
We have an open relationship. He just fine, whatever we want.

Speaker 7 (19:41):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
We call it free use here in the house.

Speaker 13 (19:47):
He can come up behind me when I'm making paying case.
He can squeeze my bum go into the bathroom and
master but he can go in there, master bait. He
doesn't get anything on.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
I prefer he doesn't see in the shower, but he
can do an end of the sink if he funks
to honey, where's them pork chop cells don't make for dinner.
I you know, listen, she was on the road so much.
It's like he went with her.

Speaker 12 (20:20):
So I guess you know another thing you can take
away from this is it's real easy to stay married
for sixty years if you never see each other. It's
like that old joke. You know what's the secret? They say,
separate vacations.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
At the end of the day, we love each other madly,
she said, I know, I know, he knows I'll always
come home.

Speaker 19 (20:45):
Yes, I heard when you die after do you have
to come back? Yes, I heard when you die Afa
you have to come back. Well, if this is I
don't want to be a monkey, I'll go the ship
on a donkey.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
My brother said he wants to come back a hog,
but not wronging.

Speaker 19 (21:04):
I want to be a med bog just because I'm
going to buy them your ladies bumper or like I
had dogger rhamburger.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
And if you know your ten don't be en upright,
it's only big fat woman. I'm going to fight. What
would you like to be? I asked mister Ross.

Speaker 19 (21:19):
He said he will be the devil to turn him
my horse. I asked another fellow de coll Lawrence. He
said he want to be a big black wood and
style foolish.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
When you're don a horse, you have to.

Speaker 19 (21:30):
Carry people to get clicks from your boss. And as
I would, and this rule would you have to eat.
But as a bed bugger biting the human meat, I'm
going to buy them.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
You're lady.

Speaker 12 (21:40):
You know why that one guy wanted to come back
as a horse, and I guess this guy wants to
come back as a bed bug. You know this audience
knows that I'm in here quite early. Rough, Yeah, And
so they'll start texting because I always had the texting
platform open and people were blowing me up this morning,
won't you believe it? So they were giddy with anticipation

(22:02):
to tell me that Jeffrey Laroque once again has brought
bedbugs into the sanctum, sayingtorum, that is iHeart Cleveland.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
What's still TBD? I was told? I asked.

Speaker 12 (22:15):
I was told by multiple people that it had been
confirmed the end of last week. And then I heard
I think the tail end of them talking about it.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
I heard him talking about it, and the speculation is
that's what it is. But it's on. He's having his
home inspected today, I believe.

Speaker 12 (22:33):
Well, people were expecting me to freak out again, and
I said, no, I've made my opinion. I said my
piece the last two or three goddamn times this happened, right,
I said my piece. So my opinion has been made
known loud and clear. And I guess better them than

(22:56):
I don't know. But the speed with which people were texting, yeah,
texting in here, because otherwise I would not have known
had they not told me, So I guess good on
their part.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yeah, I got a couple of emails, so I reached
out and had a couple of conversations, and I was
told that.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
It is speculation at this point.

Speaker 12 (23:19):
Well that's what they always say, though, right, Well, they're
not gonna they're not going to follow up with you
and go, oh yeah, by the way.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
We confirmed it. Yeah, no, it's always well we gotta
of course, last time I flipped out.

Speaker 12 (23:31):
On management over this a year and a half ago
or whatever, that's what they told me. Well, we don't know,
we got don't you though?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
And you do?

Speaker 12 (23:39):
Yeah, of course, Well that's out of abundance of caution.
What are you talking about? So anyway, I like the guy,
to get me wrong, I see them all the time.
I'm praised he's a smashing young lad. But I'm like, bro,
I've never met a more accommodated part time guy in
my entire radio career. Am I remember incorrectly that a

(24:00):
Titanic nerd?

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yes?

Speaker 12 (24:01):
Yeah, of course, anytime we talk about the Titanic, I'll
play the reck of the Edmund Fitzgerald just because it's
such a good goddamn song. It's better than that Selene
Dion nonsense. It has nothing to do, of course, with
the Titanic. But another ship wreck. Tato Patatal like.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Said, yeah, did you have the h did you have
the alert?

Speaker 12 (24:20):
Yesterday was the fortieth anniversary of them discovering the Titanic wreckage.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
I did not, but I didn't realize. I guess I
thought I didn't realize it took them that long to
find the Titanic. Yeah, like they knew where it sank?
How did they?

Speaker 12 (24:38):
They were like, I I was just watching a thing.
It happened to come across my my newsfeed. They were like, oh,
September one, nineteen eighty five was when they discovered the Titanic.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
I'm like, how did they not?

Speaker 12 (24:51):
Did the thing go down in nineteen twelve, nineteen thirteen?
What did the Titanic go down nineteen twelve, nineteen twelve?
I thought they knew like right away were it was.
I think they did, but it was a question of
getting to it, knowing exactly where it is. I think
they had an idea of where it was.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
But once they were able to actually locate it, that
was when they actually got to it and saw it
for the first time.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
They knew where it was. Ish, they just hadn't gotten
to it, correct, I see.

Speaker 12 (25:16):
So when they because admittedly I am largely ignorant to
the facts and fallacy surrounding the Titanic, yep, did they
find like bodies and stuff in there?

Speaker 10 (25:29):
Yet?

Speaker 15 (25:29):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (25:30):
No?

Speaker 2 (25:30):
No, no, after that that long, there's no there's nothing left.

Speaker 14 (25:33):
No.

Speaker 12 (25:33):
But I mean when they in nineteen eighty five, there
was nothing there no now no, no, really nope, no
way by the sea oh.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, okay, animals and sea and yeah.

Speaker 12 (25:41):
But yeah, but in all the movies, you know, when
they go into a shipwreck, there's like a they'll they'll
think they haven't found anything, and then Rob at the
last minute like, oh my god, a body will fly
up in front of them, like with his one eye
hanging out.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, this was reality and not the Goodies. So it
was goody suck movie. I'm not talking about that. It's fine.
It stinks.

Speaker 12 (26:03):
Listen back to the Titanic, so forty years ago yesterday.
Although the Titanic lies in thirteen thousand feet of water,
for those of you who aren't good at math, I'd
be like if it was in thirteen feet of water,
but for each one of those feet it was a thousand.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
I think that's how that breaks out.

Speaker 12 (26:25):
The story still captures the minds and hearts throughout the world.
Minds and hearts, the hearts are captured by that movie.
How do you think people would care if Jim Cameron
hadn't done the movie?

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yeah you think so? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Yeah, I think it's It's just it's one of the
most famous. It's most famous shipwreck r at the HMS Pinafore.
I don't believe so, or maybe the Edminn Fitzgerald would
be close. Yeah, but no, I think that it's captured
people's minds forever.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
I don't know why the hell, I ended up getting
anyone else a kid. But what about the Andrea Doria,
I mean, not as many people died. I don't know.
It was in Kramer's shipwreck book, all right.

Speaker 12 (27:03):
Well, anyway, I wondered if that was on your radar
at all, because you said that many, you know, as
a young man, were you were a Titanic nerd.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Not even a young man when I was a kid.
I don't know why. Yeah, I was young, very young. Yeah,
doctor Robert Ballard. Doctor Ballard would discovered the r ofs
Tatanic as early a searching for the wreck, as early
as Iteene seventy three.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
It's a pretty cool video to see too, because it
is so far spread out, like people just sort of
think it Sounken's there, but when it split in half
and then it went down in separate pieces, so they're
quite the distance between the two pieces that are down there.

Speaker 12 (27:37):
I remember videos when I was a kid. There was
a movie called Raise the Titanic. Yeah, I remember Raised
the Titanic.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (27:43):
It was like one of those It wasn't a disaster movie,
but it was along those lines. There was a lot
of those disaster type movies in the seventies.

Speaker 8 (27:52):
And so this was.

Speaker 12 (27:52):
Probably seventy I was a kid, probably seventy eight seventy nine,
where like the United States and the Russians are in
a race to pull up the Titanic.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yeah, they had a general idea of where it was,
but they didn't they didn't know exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Where it was.

Speaker 20 (28:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (28:16):
So yeah, So those these kinds of like rich deep
sea guys, a lot of them have kind of thrown
their hands up with things like this, and they go,
screw it. Let's just take a barely functioning submersible and
throw other rich people in that. Nothing could go wrong there. Yeah, imploding, Yeah, boy,
not the way you want to go. Well, in all fairness,

(28:39):
it's not the worst way to go.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
They didn't.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
I mean, there wasn't even time to get out the
O in sah, you know what I mean? Like, yes,
it's instant, like hey, what's that?

Speaker 2 (28:49):
You know what I mean? And it's over?

Speaker 12 (28:50):
Would you rather, because I have to assume that those
last nanoseconds are the same, would you rather implode or explode?
If they were like, hey you've got to pick one
of these, okay, and they're going to be I don't
even know if they would rise the level of being painful,

(29:12):
but you still got to get your kind of head
around it. They're like, you're going to go down in
this doomed submersible, which will implode.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
You'll be crushed like a tin can.

Speaker 12 (29:21):
Or you will find yourself in a situation in which,
let's see, you've unwittingly inserted a C four suppository. Yep,
and so you have your choice of either imploding or exploit.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
I'm gonna do implode, because explode I know what's going
to happen if I put it in me, and I
know what's gonna happen. I have the anticipation of dying.
M but imploding, Like again, those people didn't even know.
They were just like, hey, that sounds kind of funny.
I know you don't know you're going to explode.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Okay. I thought I thought you said, like I put
it in. Well, no, it was put in you. So
but I don't know what's there, got it? Okay, all right,
this entirely absurd scenario. Okay, So I don't know either way.

Speaker 12 (30:05):
I think the way you don't know. That's why I'm
saying I think the difference is negligible.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
I think I want to implode because it would be
cool to at least be in the environment, Like to
be in a submarine.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
I think would be cool. Like going down to see
the Titanic would be cool.

Speaker 12 (30:16):
I think i'd rather Oh, you're thinking of the preamble. Yeah,
what I was doing while it was happening, I guess
I was thinking of the end result. I would rather
explode because then people can find parts of me.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well, I think it's fine parts us you implode. No,
they ain't going to find parts to you, the implode.
That's like red miss.

Speaker 12 (30:33):
Did they say they like Yeah, No, they're like, yeah,
we found like a jawbone or something, but other than that,
we really didn't find much.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yeah, that's that's the way i'd want to go. I
don't want to find anything. I just know I was
on there, I died. It's over.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
That's implode. Final answer, all right, Rob, The.

Speaker 12 (30:50):
Answer is explode. Oh I'm so sorry. I don't know
what to tell you. For all of us here, I
would rather.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Imploexplode until next time.

Speaker 10 (31:03):
We bet you.

Speaker 15 (31:08):
The Allen cock Show and one under.

Speaker 5 (31:14):
The audio equivalent of that bumper sticker that says I'd
rather be driving the Allen cock Show on one hundred
point seven Domms.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
We got a letter from Zach addressed to me and
the Clint Rattler.

Speaker 12 (31:29):
I have to take umbrage with something Rob said during
You guys discussing the weekends football games yesterday show slandering
the New York Football Giants. He points out that they
bent the Patriots over twice with quote no lube in
the Super Bowl and considers your comments Rob completely uncalled for.
He says, eighteen and one, you jag off.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
That's from Zach, and he has every right and he
and that is the one big time thing that will
always hurt any Patriot fan. It was the perfect season.
They lost in the Super Bowl. So why do I
dislike the Giants? That is why I dislike That's.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
What he means. Eighteen and then a perfect lost in
the Super Bowl.

Speaker 13 (32:10):
What year was that?

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Oh God with in the last ten No okay, no, no,
let's run it back super Bowl. Sorry, no, it's okay.

Speaker 12 (32:19):
I didn't realize that's what he meant by that they
lost in the I'm putting it all together there, eighteen
and one New York Football Giants and the so they
played the Patriot. Those two teams played twice in the
Super Bowl. Yeah, all right, that's two thousand and eight, okay, yep.

(32:40):
It was the final score seventeen to fourteen. And it
was so there's been a million times. You mean, not
seven hundred and six to eight like a Browns game.

Speaker 15 (32:49):
No, no, not like that.

Speaker 13 (32:51):
Uh it was.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
It was the only time I can honestly say, now,
I'm a fan of sports, but I'm not a fanatic, right, like,
if they lose, my team lose, it sucks.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
I'm sad.

Speaker 12 (33:01):
This was the crashing your flat screen TV. No, but
this was the only time I woke up the next
day and it like it hurts, like I was just ya,
it's a perfect season, I understand, mad. It was the
culmination of all of the work you've done all season.
You get to the big game, and obviously somebody's gonna lose. Yeah,
one of those team's gonna lose. But to have a

(33:23):
perfect season, yeah, it's the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
And there was two of them, you know. That was
the first time, and then they lost again. I think
it was twenty twelve maybe, and both the Eli Manning.
The only time I've ever taunted a player in my
entire life was Eli Manning at on location at Gillette
Stadium during the preseason. They were there like the following season,

(33:47):
and he's warming.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Up in the end zone. You know, he's just kind
of throwing the ball and I.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Just started screaming his name, Eli, Eli, and he and
he kind of like, oh, yeah, alcohol was involved, and
he's sort of like kind of turned around when when
he got the ball, and I and how does it
feel to sign your brother's contract? Oh, and he just
looked at me and he pointed and laughed and then
he just you know, kept throwing the ball. But I mean, look,

(34:11):
Eli Manning probably, I will say, probably the least talented
quarterback to have two Super Bowls. Okay, Dan Marino has none. Yep,
you're talking about all these players throughout. He does have
free is atners for life. He does, and he was
in Ace Venture, a pet detective. And the Giants will

(34:34):
always have two Super Bowls over the Patriots, and they
will always have the sting, the the the David Tyree
catch that said it.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
I just to this day it bothers me when I
talk about it. That was the only time I've ever
been like ready to puke because you had the perfect season.
It was right there and they lost in that last draw.
God all right, well there's some supports for you speaking
of Tom Ray. By the way, thank you Zach coming
out of retirement. What a perfect way to close that email.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
By the way, eighteen and one you jag off Jags.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
So good.

Speaker 12 (35:12):
Tom Brady coming out of retirement for a flag football
tournament in Saudi Arabia hosted by Kevin Hart, who has
never said no to anything, so that tracks. It'll air
live on Fox Sports and toob and people have some
thoughts on that because it's not like either one of
them need the money, and it's also like neither of

(35:33):
them have ever done any research on Saudi Arabia, But okay,
what are you gonna do?

Speaker 2 (35:38):
You know, they try to get that Saudi Golf.

Speaker 12 (35:40):
League goinging a few years ago, and there were some
guys that took the you know, the big name guys
that were getting nine figure offers, and they were like, hmmm,
don't they throw gay people off of roofs over there.
Tom Brady has no problem with that, and so he's
going over to secure the bag, coming out of retirement

(36:01):
to play in the Fanatics Flag Football Classic in Saudi
Arabia next March. He says that his competitive juices are
still flowing and that he's always admired flag football. No
you haven't, no, stop no, And so a lot of
pictures of him next to a guy from Saudi Arabia,

(36:26):
and he's going to.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Go over there and join all kinds. Miles Garrett is
going to be over there.

Speaker 12 (36:35):
Odell Beckham, Junior, Rob Gronkowski, Sauce Gardner, Ah Pete, Carol,
Sean Payton, Kyle Shanahan will coach the three teams well
competitive flag football. Now, you have to make sure when
you're speaking to the people there in Saudi Arabia, the

(36:56):
people in charge, when you talk about flag football, you
have to make sure that word has the l oh god, yeah,
or you're gonna get yourself thrown off a roof.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah. I Brady. That kind of bummed me out.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
I've had a lot to say about Brady after his
retirement and stuff, and I just he's just turned into
such a caricature, such a douchebag.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
You have a character of what he's always been a robot.

Speaker 12 (37:21):
I mean that like that's in large part do I
mean he has he has a personality of cardboard, but
he is a champion I mean, I think it's that
it's that disassociation from kind of a lot of your
human characteristics that make you the machine you have to
be to like Michael Jordan, right was, once Alex.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
Guerrero got involved with him, that's really when it all changed,
and they really just focused on his training and his
eating and his everything, and and it almost turned him
into it gets to your point, like a robot, you know.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
But the he did not need to do this, But
I too, that's all. I get it too. But stands
stock away as much as you can. Kevin Hart does
everything because who knows when it's going to run out?
You know, I get it, But man, you don't have
to do this.

Speaker 12 (38:08):
He is two years into a ten year, three hundred
and seventy five million dollar deal with Fox as their
lead color commentator, despite having none great he's well not
only that, but like I said, he has the personality
of cardboard. So maybe he'll get a little bit better
at that TV game. But you know, he's a guy
that you can kind of PLoP down in the vicinity

(38:30):
of sports and people will go. Everybody's still lend some
legitimacy to and again, Kevin Hart says no to nothing,
so he'll host and I think I get nothing of it.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Flag football has exploded.

Speaker 12 (38:42):
In popularity with again, no it hasn't, with more than
twenty million players globally. The sports inclusion in the twenty
twenty eight Olympics and the NFL's embrace of the format
have accelerated growth. Tom Brady says that he will bring
back the trophy. Okay, well there you go. Congratulations. Good

(39:08):
for you, Tom Brady. Thomas Brady is out there, good
for making things happen.

Speaker 13 (39:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
The Saudi's are just involved in everything now, like that
boxing match, it was just on Netflix.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
That was all then.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
I mean, it's it's I don't know, man, it's just
really really weird, and I guess. I mean when there's
a ton of money on the line, you just sort
of forget about everything.

Speaker 12 (39:27):
Yeah, they have I mean they go, oh, they chopped
up a journalist and who cares. It's a fossil fuel
oligarchy over there. So they just got you know that
they have no they can turn on the fire hose
of cash and you know, get whoever they want over there.

Speaker 8 (39:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
So we just had the anniversary of nine to eleven.

Speaker 12 (39:46):
Great timing by the way, You're gonn announce that you're
doing a big thing over in Saudi Arabia right after
nine to eleven, Bud, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 20 (39:52):
Right?

Speaker 12 (39:53):
We wanted to keep gas costs slow. It was like
twenty of the hijackers or something like that. It was
completely supported by Saudi Arabia. Alan Is Manzarto a cheese
or a font?

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Boy? That is a really good Uh, that is a
really good question.

Speaker 5 (40:15):
Rob.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Is Kyle Manzardo a cheese or a font? Let's go
with uh. I think it was font. Manzarto is a font.

Speaker 12 (40:36):
I'm not gonna make him feel good too, you know,
irrespective of what his team happens to be doing, it's
gonna make him feel good, I'll tell you what. Also,
in the world of sports, and you're you're, you're, you
gotta pan way out to get this into the frame.
There is a scandal in the World Stone Skipping Championships.

(41:02):
Remember when they had the guy that was accused of
wearing a butt plug to the Chess Championships. Right, there
is no degree to which champions in any sport will
hold back to assure their own victory, and the World
Stones Skipping championships have been rocked by a cheating scandal

(41:24):
and for several competitors were disqualified for tampering. So they
get about a couple thousand people from twenty seven countries
and they go off to a tiny island off the
west coast of Scotland and they say that they have
rules if you want to operate at the highest echelons
of stones skipping.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
I've never been able to do this, I know people
to do. I am as giddy as a kindergarten child
when I see somebody skip a stone on a lake
or a body of water, because I've never been able
to do it, not even accidentally, really, not once. And
so it's something so simple and elemental.

Speaker 12 (42:03):
And when I see someone do it, whether they do
it accidentally or you know, I think it's great. But
they do have rules, and the stones have to come
from naturally occurring island slate, right, you gotta find stones
around you, whatever the land is offering you, and then
you figure out how to skip them. However, the organizers

(42:28):
determined that some of the stones had been ground into
a quote suspiciously circular shape.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yes Kel homage. It's like rule number one. Wow, this
guy out there with a file. What are you doing nothing?

Speaker 12 (42:50):
Oh, just finding some naturally occurring slate. Oh so yes,
these people, they a number of them were found to
have um made their stones a little more circular.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Kind of wonder what the grand prize is for the
stone skipping championships, you know, like it's worth cheating over stone? Well,
but this is the thing.

Speaker 12 (43:15):
When there is money on the line, when there is
some kind of accolade on the line, boy, people will cheat,
you know what I mean? I guess always people. There
are always people who will cheat, because what's the downside?

Speaker 2 (43:27):
You know?

Speaker 12 (43:28):
You did have those dudes out here who are like
putting weights in the fish. Yeah, they treated that like
it was like it was the Rosenbergs, for Christ's sake.
They treated those two guys like they were guilty of
crimes against humanity.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
They were.

Speaker 10 (43:43):
Cheat.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
There's no cheating in fishing.

Speaker 12 (43:46):
The stones are measured by judges using something called the
ring of truth. They have to choose their stones, and
they use this measuring device to ensure that they are
no bigger than three inches in diameter. The stone must
bounce at least twice on water before sinking. A guy
who is known professionally in the biz as.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Hmmm. The toss master, Well, they called me the toss master,
and it's for very obvious reasons. I am a stone skipper.
Oh that's what. That's not what we thought before you
ask God don't like solids.

Speaker 12 (44:28):
The toss master said that the judges had heard murmurings
of some nefarious deeds, a little bit of stone doctoring,
he said. And he said it was so perfectly circular
that it fit exactly into the three inch measurer ring
of truth.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
And they said they were suspiciously circular.

Speaker 12 (44:50):
So there has been the stone skipping championships there in
Scotland have been rocked by a scandal.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
What was the last thing you tried to skip a stone?

Speaker 12 (45:03):
Not in any recent memory that I have. I guarantee
if if you tried right now, I guarantee you could
do it. No way, I've never been able to do
it before, but right now I can do it. And
how you throw it, yes, that's all it is. Just
find a flash, throw it and I won't do it down.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
Come on, it's all.

Speaker 12 (45:25):
I know that, and get down low side arm it
a little spin off the fingies. No, trust me, I
know it's just nothing that I've been able to do.
It's nothing that I have been able to accomplish or
under the lake. Come on, you know, after the show,
we're gonna go to lake. I'm gonna teach you how
to do it. I'll check that off the bucket list down.
And all these stone skimmers who are out there in Scotland,

(45:48):
it's for charity. Last year they raised fifteen thousand pounds.
Oh Jesus, they're cheating a charity to that seems worse
even better? Oh, Jonathan Jennings ebmerged Victoria last week as
the contest first American winner.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
You know what, say what you want, Okay.

Speaker 12 (46:06):
Under the current regime in this country, we are absolutely
in the last days of a fading empire.

Speaker 21 (46:11):
Right.

Speaker 12 (46:12):
Nobody takes this seriously anymore. It's not even up for debate. However,
the first American won the wife carrying championships right over
there in Sweden or whatever. The first American just won
the World stone skipping Championships. We're not out there doing
anything important anymore, but we are on the map for

(46:33):
a bunch of dumb crap.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
And what's more American than that.

Speaker 12 (46:38):
So that's something that I think we can all be
proud of these stone skipping championships or the first time
ever an American emerges victorious.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
In that.

Speaker 12 (46:48):
America Mark Easdale, where they have this is the smallest
permanently inhabited island of the Inner Hebrides. There are sixty
people who live on the Imagine you live in the
Inner Hebrides there and you live on Easdale. It's you
and fifty nine other people. And then once a year
twenty five hundred people from around the world show up

(47:10):
out of the stone Skippers or back. Oh great, all
the budgie smugglers are showing up. So yeah, there can
be scandal in any professional athletic endeavor.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
That's important to remember, and the stone skipping is no different.

Speaker 12 (47:34):
I saw that our boys Indisturbed got inducted into.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
The Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Rock how.

Speaker 7 (47:41):
About that.

Speaker 12 (47:43):
Man, joining the likes of other Chicago and Illinois artists
such as Richard Marx and enough enough remember them? Yeah,
Freddie Dixon blues band cheap trick. Last year the Smashing
Pumpkins got in. Howland woolf They always induct radio stations

(48:06):
as well, and among the inductees this year is my
old radio station Q one oh one in Chicago is
getting into the Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Do you see my name anywhere on their rob as
part of the Q one oh one legacy?

Speaker 2 (48:25):
I dope, no you do not, No, not there at all.
Our friend Aaron from the I just.

Speaker 12 (48:34):
Want to get into one hall of fame. You will
not the National Association of Retailers. That's not going to
do anything for me. Our friend who Aaron from Q
Pride there management company. She was there hung out with
enough s.

Speaker 15 (48:49):
Oh God for you.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
She sent me a text, She's like, what a weird
what a weird weekend? I was hanging out with Enough's Enough.
And then now that explains why, because I know she
was there for that. I didn't realize they were in.

Speaker 12 (49:00):
I like the people who name their band and then
work backwards and give their themselves a name. My band
is called Enough Enough. My name is chip Z Enough.
This is my other band member, Terry Enough Enough. Yeah, God,
Enough's Enough. I mean, you know a couple of this

(49:21):
radio station I started at is in the Illinois The
Loop in Chicago r I P.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
They are in the Illinois Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Speaker 12 (49:30):
Two Radio stations that I worked for Rob in my
hometown are in the Illinois Rock and.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
Roll Hall of Fame. Is my name associated anywhere with them? Yes? Nope, yes,
nope it is. Nope. You were part of that radio
station's legacy.

Speaker 12 (49:50):
Yeah, because they specifically induct radio personalities.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Oh people, people. I well that too. People.

Speaker 12 (50:01):
I grew up listening to Dick Byondi and Larry Lujack
and John Landecker and Bob Sarat. All these guys who
make no mistake should absolutely be in there. You know,
when I was a kid, I was a Larry Lujack
super fan. I don't think anybody he's from Seattle, but
his entire career was in Chicago, and he retired and

(50:24):
moved out to Arizona or something like that years ago.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
He died over ten years ago.

Speaker 12 (50:29):
But when I was a kid, you know, they were
still playing music on AM radio, and my dad's Ford Ltd.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Only had an AM radio roup.

Speaker 12 (50:42):
But anyway, our friends Indisturbed are getting into the Illinois
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, along with bands like
Cheap Trick and Buddy Guy in Chicago and Rio Speedwagon.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Our friend Dan Fogelberg Rop Remember Dan.

Speaker 12 (50:58):
We've talked about Dan because Brian has called and sung
us Dan Fogelberg before. Now he's from Peoria, Illinois, which
is a little bit downstate. For a long time, Peoria
was one of the major test markets in the United States.
There was an old phrase, well if it plays in Peoria,
it'll play elsewhere. The band sticks in the Illinois Rock

(51:22):
and Roll Hall of Fame The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 15 (51:25):
On one hundred points of ms.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Everything is so expensive.

Speaker 17 (51:33):
Instead of buying new clothes, just wait for the rapture.
He'll be surrounded by free stuff because, let's face it,
you won't be going anywhere. Another life hack from The
Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 12 (51:47):
On one seven WMMS, ell what would the news broadcast
of Ozzie's death sound like in the nineteen twenties?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
No, no, no, oh, Live in the moment, Sit in
this moment, all right? No, look at you given a no, no,
who cares what it would sound like. We don't know
what it would sound like. No, No, I know you're

(52:17):
doing I'm doing that. I don't appreciate it. Now is
it a coincidence?

Speaker 12 (52:25):
One night before Zach Wilde and Pantera come to Cleveland
playing Blossom Tomorrow night is it a coincidence that the
Ozzy Osbourne's death coincides with the two hundred and twenty
ninth birthday of Cleveland, Ohio.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Giving us something to think about.

Speaker 12 (52:52):
Today, is Cleveland's birthday famously founded by a guy named
Moses Cleveland who got and split. He looked around, gotta
go yeah Cleveland with two a's, and they shortened it.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
They dropped the vowel.

Speaker 8 (53:13):
I think.

Speaker 12 (53:13):
So the story is I don't know if it's apocryphal,
but the story is that so they could fit it
in a newspaper headline. Seventeen ninety six, Moses Cleveland purchased
two and a half million acres of land where the
Cayhaga River and Lake Erie meat and founded the city

(53:34):
of Cleveland and then got the hell out of town
because he probably saw the writing on the wall.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
What have I done? This town's gonna have a crappy
football team forever. First they're going to invent something called football,
and then it will loom large over the city of Cleveland.

Speaker 12 (53:56):
So you know, but this whole area was called what
the Western Purchase or the Connecticut Western something, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
This whole area was called something, and.

Speaker 12 (54:08):
Now Cleveland will one day be the emporium of the
Western Reserve, was an old quote from somebody who came through.
And so obviously Cayhauga River, you know, was a major
hub here for shipping, and of course old Steel Town.
At one point, I think Cleveland was the third most
populous city in the entire country. And then and you

(54:31):
had and Dan it wasn't and you had you know,
Millionaires Row. Take one of those tours of the city,
Millionaire's Row, you know, the Rockefellers. Cleveland was called the
city of millionaires back in the day. Of course, there
were a lot of cities probably called the city of millionaires,

(54:52):
because you know, there's always rich people. But the two
hundred and twenty ninth birthday Cleveland, Ohio. Today it's called
the Forest City. Of course, the metro Parks a crown
jewel the Midwest. Cleveland Metro Parks celebrated there one hundredth

(55:15):
anniversary in twenty seventeen. And you know, people born and
raised in Cleveland, Ohio. I've been here now a decade
and a half and it has been quite an adventure.
I find myself defending Cleveland. I finally got to that

(55:36):
point told the story some time ago. But I finally
got to the point where I found myself defending Cleveland
to people who put her down.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Is she as she is?

Speaker 12 (55:47):
Cleveland as she founded by a he But yeah, I
found myself being a booster for Cleveland. When I'm out
and about, people like to take their shots and I go, oh,
you mean the city of champions, And by champions, I
mean me as a radio champion. You're welcome, Thank you

(56:09):
so much. Also, there was a basketball team who won
something a while back. But it is funny, you know,
if not for the Cavaliers championship, Cleveland is relegated to
its major sporting events, being referred to as like they
were competing for a World Series, you know, that kind

(56:29):
of stuff. But after two hundred and twenty nine years,
I would be willing to bet. And who knows whatever
happened to Moses Cleveland. Who knows who cares?

Speaker 2 (56:44):
But I have to think.

Speaker 12 (56:46):
That upon his deathbed he may have felt some pangs
of regret for leaving the Connecticut Western Reserves what this
was called. He was a brigadier general in the Connecticut Militia,
which is a very different organization now than it was then.
Oh yes, but yeah, uh founded the city and then

(57:11):
got the hell out. And I don't know how the
guy died, nor do I care, But you gotta think
at some point he's like.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Why am I dying here? Or did he die? Why
am I dying in Connecticut when I could have been
dying in Cleveland. I changed my name to Moses Hartford,
the nay, the city that bears my name. Esther, bring
me Mike yep a cat. I have to vomit from regrets.

(57:45):
I have regret vomit.

Speaker 22 (57:48):
I could have been in Cleveland, you know one hundred
years hang on the basketball team? Well, where a check?
You know the thing that I play with, peach buckets.
They'll end up cutting the hole. They'll cut the bottoms
out of those bucket, that peach buckets.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
You know what I'm talking about, Esther, that basketball they'll
name their team the Cavalier. Where's my Hippi cat?

Speaker 22 (58:17):
My regret vomit is building by the minute, and bring
a bucket, a peach bucket.

Speaker 17 (58:27):
Not one.

Speaker 22 (58:27):
When the bottom cut out, the vomit will go straight
to the floor of our one cabin.

Speaker 12 (58:33):
Esther on the deathbed of Moses Cleveland. Wow, that's him
on his deathbed man. He was so prickly. Wow, you
don't know he's knowing you're on your deathbed. You know,
he thought he was on his regular bed, but then
he found out, where's my hipper?

Speaker 4 (58:52):
Cac Esther?

Speaker 12 (58:55):
She comes trundling in, handsome woman. I'm sure that Esveland
is that. Even his wife's name was making it up.
What was his wife's name, Esther? Hey, how do you
like me? He married Esther Champion? Oh that was optimistic,
good guess, yeah, with whom he had four children.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Where are children? We have fourmed them? None of them
are here to say goodbye. Wait, we're down to three.
Oh one of them died. Well, it is the late
seventeen hundreds.

Speaker 15 (59:27):
He went, what's that?

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Testher? He was eaten by an ox? You said, where
did you feed him? Any of the peaches from that
bucket in the bottom? Cut out Esther because of death? Yeah,
peach poisoning a bit, here's your peaches?

Speaker 4 (59:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (59:53):
Oh Moses Cleveland so a rough eye, rough eye, poor guy.

Speaker 15 (01:00:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:00:06):
Oh, I read Moses Cleveland's personal diar. Reason he wanted
to call it the land. Mm now somebody texted me
and uh, I don't know if this would be a
point of contention or if they have a point. This
person texted me pursue it to my question to you,
and may simply say that Robert Plant and Jimmy Page
haven't stayed relevant the way that Ozzie had.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Well, he's not wrong in the sense they stopped releasing
new music in nineteen eighty.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Yeah, so I mean he's not wrong. It just you
asked me a question about who I would be more
upset about. Correct, So it's not who's more relevant questions. Yeah,
Ozzie will be more relevant because I mean, dude, he
released new music this year, so yeah, and with.

Speaker 12 (01:00:49):
Him out of the way, these guys can make their
grand return to relevance.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Yeah right, I mean Robert Plant still releases new music
all the time. You just don't know it, like I
just he just released something last week.

Speaker 12 (01:01:00):
Yeah, unless you're a bluegrass fan, you're probably not hearing
the new Robert Plant.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Oh is it him and Alison Krause. No, it's a
different woman. That's not bad work that they do. No,
not at all.

Speaker 10 (01:01:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
God, I can't think of her name right now.

Speaker 12 (01:01:13):
Emmy Lou Harris esther champion, you know he was. Yeah,
Robert Plant let me find out where his new music is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
It's him and.

Speaker 12 (01:01:28):
Susie Dean, Susie Diane. That's yes, Susie Diane. I don't
know who the hell that is, all right, it's called
the new song is called Saving Grace, Saving Grace. It's
actually pretty good. I'll take it over the honey Drippers.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Oh god. I always say one thing that just never
needed to happen? Or what was the other group? A
band of Joy? Was that his band?

Speaker 15 (01:01:49):
Yep?

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
And I mean that was okay. I like the I
like the early plant solo stuff. I mean, you know,
a log.

Speaker 23 (01:01:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:01:57):
My daughter was laughing about that because I was playing
Big Log in the car and she's like, why is
this song called big Log?

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
What do you think he was talking about?

Speaker 12 (01:02:07):
I said, well, he's he's traveling, and so I said
it is. I said, I know what you're talking about,
and it is funny, I said, but of course he's
using log in the sense of.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Keeping a journal of his travels. I never knew that
either a big dump, yeah, that or.

Speaker 12 (01:02:27):
Was a song about him pulling off to a rest
stop after too much red burrito. Either way, yeah, either way.
It was a difficult trip for ol Robbie p and
but who could blame him for that? I love big log.

(01:02:48):
I think it's a great song. Big fan of that song.
Yepsy see.

Speaker 21 (01:03:03):
See if I can get it syncopated here, Oh, maestro.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
I'm just trying to cheer Rob today.

Speaker 8 (01:03:24):
Come.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
He's having a tough baby, so you think this is
pretty funny. I've got a little trouble.

Speaker 8 (01:03:33):
But that's just sad.

Speaker 7 (01:03:34):
To point, I can't stop thinking about that freaking dunkin
Donuts and Shimoking because I just met my attorney here
for some legal advice.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
You know, Play the clip for me, dude, play the
clip for me.

Speaker 13 (01:03:45):
Make my day.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
I just had to pay a retainer.

Speaker 15 (01:03:47):
Make my day, baby.

Speaker 8 (01:03:48):
I love you Rob, I love you guys.

Speaker 12 (01:03:53):
I love you boys a lot of love and kisses. Wow,
you're also burying the lead bro like he goes. I
don't want to get it it, no, get into it.
I want to know he's meeting with his attorney, remember
Dutch Smith. Yeah, they're in Shamoking. We played the clip.
I mean it's like a decade old now Dons Dunkin
Donuts in Shamokin, Pennsylvania burns down some teenage ne'er do well,

(01:04:16):
was I don't know, having a heavy flow day or something,
and she burned up the bathroom there, and golly, the
people of Shomoking they just went bananas. And they cut
to you know, it's local news and they're cutting it.
I've played it before. And they cut to this guy,
Dutch Smith. Yeah, I meet with my attorney.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
That's what this guy was doing, meeting with his attorney
at the dunkin Donuts. Well, we don't know for what.

Speaker 12 (01:04:44):
Listen, it's probably a private matter, right, doesn't have to
tell us. I'm just a curious fella. That's all I
go to every day.

Speaker 24 (01:04:51):
I get a chicken baker croissant, or I get some
coffee power raid. If I'm dehydrated, I sit there all
the time. If I have any like legal work that
I need to do, I go there. I meet with
my attorneys. There, cheap class place to meet up. It's
a location where you can meet up with your friends.
It's the only thing this town has.

Speaker 17 (01:05:09):
Has.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Yeah, he kind of buries the lead. It's the only
thing here, man, What do you want?

Speaker 12 (01:05:14):
I like how he says, if I have any legal
work to do, yeah, I think the legal work is
being done to you. And for you, you know, if
I have any He's trying to kind of sound very
professional and official on television there for the local news,
and I do appreciate that he's trying to put on
a good face. Yeah, you know, if I have any
legal work to do, Oh are you a pen law student?

Speaker 5 (01:05:36):
No?

Speaker 12 (01:05:37):
No, No, I just get into trouble a lot. Yeah,
if I'm dehydrated, I'll have a power aid.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
I'm well read because of it.

Speaker 12 (01:05:44):
So yes, I spend a lot of time in the
prison Biblioteca, as it were.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
I love Dutch. He's great. I go to every day.

Speaker 24 (01:05:51):
I get a chicken baker croissant, or I get some
coffee power raid. If I'm dehydrated, I sit there all
the time. If I've they dehydrated from doing all that work, like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
Legal work that I need to do, I go there.
I meet with my attorneys.

Speaker 24 (01:06:04):
There, cheap, classy place to meet up.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Well, I like that too.

Speaker 12 (01:06:08):
It's a cheap, classy place. Yeah, my dunkin Donuts, it's
a cheap, classy place. There isn't a cheaper or classier
place in all of Shamokin, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
And this dude starts every day with a chicken bacon
croissant every day. Yeah, good for him, man, I've never yeah,
I've not had one. But well, I'm just putting it together.
I've heard him say that a billion times.

Speaker 12 (01:06:34):
I've never put together in my brain a chicken bacon
croissant every morning, every morning from Dunkin Donuts. Well, he's
got a lot of legal work to do, and I
don't like the I don't like the dunk. I like
the donuts. A Dunkin Donuts, I kind of go to
a Turkey hill. I'm not gonna play the whole cup again.
I played a billion times. But I do love Dutch.
But the guy who's calling us, they're leaving us a

(01:06:56):
message that was in his brain. You know, he's thinking
about Dutch Smith while he very meta, while he is
sitting inside Duncan Donuts talking.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
To his attorney. That guy is like the Dutch Smith
of Northeast.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
Ohigh, I want to know what he did. I mean,
you got to pay a retainer. That's not like a quick,
make it go away thing.

Speaker 8 (01:07:19):
Nope, Hey, Ralph, I can't straight him. I can't strated myself.

Speaker 25 (01:07:26):
Well, somebody had to, right, Oh god, Yeah, A good
thing against a good thing.

Speaker 8 (01:07:35):
Yeah, Ralph, did you do this?

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Did you do this chemically or did you do this
more violent with the piano strings?

Speaker 8 (01:07:44):
I'm sorry with what piano strings?

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Piano string?

Speaker 14 (01:07:51):
Wait?

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
Wait a second, one more time, Ralph?

Speaker 4 (01:07:56):
Wrapper around?

Speaker 8 (01:07:57):
Go so you went?

Speaker 12 (01:07:59):
Okay, so you went like down on the farm type
situation and why, pray tell did you do this?

Speaker 8 (01:08:07):
Ralph?

Speaker 12 (01:08:09):
You know there are medical professionals. I know healthcare is
prohibitively expensive, and.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
Go ahead, but.

Speaker 25 (01:08:19):
I under it.

Speaker 12 (01:08:20):
Bled Wait, you were wondering if wrapping piano wire around
your junk and snapping it off, Ralph was going to bleed?

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
That was your big medical question there?

Speaker 8 (01:08:35):
Yea, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
Part of me believes this guy.

Speaker 12 (01:08:40):
I do believe him. I believe everything Ralph tells me.
I'm a big Ralph booster. Listen, Ralph, have you did
you have at least a couple of practice runs with
a friend or a colleague's so you've already cast rated
your dog? I bet he wasn't too plea with the proceedings.

Speaker 25 (01:09:01):
No, because they operated on him.

Speaker 12 (01:09:06):
Is now, Ralph, I do have to ask you the
question just to be to do my diligence. In twenty
twenty five, I do have to ask you the question
was this part of a of a transition for you
or was it just a slow weekend? Okay, so, Ralph,
here are eunuch now right? You're like a you're like

(01:09:26):
a you're like a uni of Huh, you're like a
eunuch from stories of.

Speaker 8 (01:09:33):
Old I guess.

Speaker 10 (01:09:38):
YEA.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
At what point did you decide you were going to
castraight yourself? Ralph? Well, you don't just wake up and
think that my dogar though you look good that way?
A nice flat second ice ai a rob.

Speaker 12 (01:09:57):
Wait so you did, ral So you did this for
esthetic reasons? You're like, I like how that looks a
nice empty pouch.

Speaker 25 (01:10:04):
No that I was getting to the empty pouch or dogs? Yeah,
because because I used to see him and they would
just snap.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
And sits him all the dog stamp piano.

Speaker 12 (01:10:22):
I remember when there's a there's a congress woman from Iowa.
It's a mega half wit named Jody Ernst, and she
represents the great state of Iowa. And she announced not
long ago that she's getting the hell out she's not
running for reelection. But years ago, when she was running
to get elected into Congress, she became known as the
pig castration lady.

Speaker 2 (01:10:44):
You remember that they put it in her campaign ad.

Speaker 12 (01:10:46):
You know that was going to connect her to the
common man, was that she was out there castraighting pigs
and the big you know, wrap the piano wire or
whatever it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
Was, and they sold right. So how do you find
yourself now, Ralph? Are you okay?

Speaker 20 (01:11:04):
Are you in?

Speaker 14 (01:11:06):
Well?

Speaker 12 (01:11:08):
Yeah, I imagine you did. Have you seen any if
you sought any actual medical attention.

Speaker 25 (01:11:16):
Well, that's a problem. Another problem I had. I had
to get out of the bus.

Speaker 8 (01:11:22):
To the that the RTA and I was leaving this week.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
You're like, this would be a great time.

Speaker 12 (01:11:31):
I'm gonna do this before I get on the bus
because the bus isn't gross enough.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
This is what I'm gonna do. And then okay, So
when you finally got to the hospital, did they did
they chastise you?

Speaker 13 (01:11:48):
Sure?

Speaker 4 (01:11:49):
What the hell did you do that for?

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
He's like, sure, they said, what the hell did you
do that for? All right?

Speaker 12 (01:11:56):
And so you you got some professional attention that you
went okay, yes, yes, I'm fine.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
When did this happen? Ralph?

Speaker 25 (01:12:06):
A few years back I wrote to you, Remember.

Speaker 12 (01:12:10):
I don't but I certainly take your word for it.
I was thinking that this happened this past weekend. This
was years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Okay, so okay, so we're way past the time where
you would be, you know, necrotic as it were.

Speaker 8 (01:12:22):
All right, at least I got it.

Speaker 25 (01:12:24):
Well, I had to ask someone to talk to you
about it.

Speaker 8 (01:12:28):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 12 (01:12:29):
Listen, I'm glad you're doing Okay, Ralph, did the urge
to cast right something?

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
Is that gone?

Speaker 12 (01:12:35):
Do we have to worry about any family members or
animals near you or anything like that?

Speaker 8 (01:12:41):
That's a good question, I ask my box.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
All right, well maybe please your pardon the pun, please
keep me in the loop.

Speaker 8 (01:12:50):
Okay, okay, cute, thank you, Ralph.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
There's Ralph, Ralph who cast right himself a few years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:13:01):
I was thinking of two people the entire time. First
was the person sitting next to him on the bus. Okay,
so he gets on. He's bleeding about the balls profusely,
I believe was Lee quote. And the second person I
think of is the poor man that is that man's doctor, like.

Speaker 2 (01:13:20):
This time earning his He was earning his money that day.
But just now I'm gonna have to call my doctor,
doctor Smith. Ralph's on the phone. God damn it. What
did he cut off this time? Ralph? What did you
do this time? Well, he's fine though. First he did
his dog, then he did himself.

Speaker 12 (01:13:37):
The thing is a lot of times you ever been
in the RTA, A guy who has castrated himself isn't
even in the top four things that are gonna freak
you out.

Speaker 5 (01:13:43):
On f y I the Lncock SHOWMMS.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
If he sounds super excited to see you, Hey, what's up?
Remember he is a paid performer has a broadcast The
Street's Real.

Speaker 11 (01:14:00):
Good, Alan Cox on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 12 (01:14:05):
I bought a four pack of humane mouse traps rob
because I was cleaning out my shed a weekend before
this last one and it was just obviously a lot
of mouse poop, and there was some in the garage
as well, and so I said, well, I'm gonna buy
some humane mouse traps.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
I have a nine year old and there was no
way I was going to be able to get around that.

Speaker 12 (01:14:25):
If people have been listening to this show for a
long time, they might recall how I used to dispose
of mice when I lived in Ohio City. I took
a lot of heat from a contingent of this audience
when I talked about how I would remove mice from
my home when we lived in the city for many years,
I would put glue traps down and then, because that

(01:14:46):
doesn't kill them, it just makes them stuck. And then
I would steal them up in ziplock bags and I
would let nature take its course.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
And to me, of course, the people said that that
was cruel and unusual.

Speaker 12 (01:15:00):
However, I thought that was a good way to send
a message that if you find yourself into my domicile,
this is how it's gonna end for you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
You ain't getting back out. See your friend over there.
You want to end up like that? Yeah, it'd be
terrible if a similar fates to film.

Speaker 12 (01:15:20):
Mickey, And uh, to all you nay sayers, I said
at the time, those might stop showing up. So sure, Uh,
it is somewhat faulty logic to purport that a mouse
that is stuck and sealed up in his ziplock bag
is going to get the word back to its mouse

(01:15:40):
friends not to show up at that address.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
But those might stop showing up.

Speaker 12 (01:15:46):
But of course I have a nine year old now,
and frankly, Rob, I've grown as a person, And I
said well, I'm gonna get some of these humane mouse traps.
We know what these are, I think they in this case,
these are green plastic cylinders and the brand is called
mouse Hotel, And I love the photo on the cover
of the box. It's kind of a mouse who looks

(01:16:10):
like an eighteenth century dandy, you know. He looks like
he couldn't be happier to get caught in this thing.
He's got a hat on and I think a monocle,
and he's got he's all decked out. It's also got
a mustache, which I guess maybe is period specific, but
highly unlikely for a mouse anyway. So it comes in

(01:16:31):
these four plastic tubes, right, and you if you aren't
familiar with these human match mousetraps, what it is is
you put something to get one end. In this case,
I used peanut butter, and then when they walk in
the one end, they trip this little spring and it
closes them up. Doesn't kill them, it doesn't, you know,

(01:16:53):
not old school mouse traps where would snap on them
keeps them alive. But they are trapped in this cylinder,
a green plastic prison, if you will. And so my
daughter and I went out put one in the shed,
put one in the garage, and I told her, I said, hey,
sometimes you really get to wait for these. I said,
we're probably gonna get one from the shed much sooner
than the garage. She bolts up. This is weekend before

(01:17:16):
this last one, because we were camping this past weekend.
Last weekend, put out the humane mouse traps. Sure enough,
next morning she bolts up out of bed and I said,
let's go check the traps. I figured we'd have one
in the shed, and we did. Figured we wait a
little bit longer for the one in the garage. Nope,
that one was full too.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
So now I got two.

Speaker 12 (01:17:36):
So I put them on the we have like a
big table out in the back patio, and I put
them there until we could release them back into the wild.
And it was essentially started to look like my daughter
was the warden of a mouse prison. But yeah, so
we get these, we get these mice, and then but

(01:17:56):
you know the thing is, then we take it to
a nearby park and we let them out.

Speaker 2 (01:18:00):
And there's the whole thing.

Speaker 12 (01:18:01):
The thing is, though, every time I put these traps
back in those spots, I'm gonna get more mice.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
Yeah, So how long am I going to keep doing this.
It's not coming to deplete the local mouse.

Speaker 12 (01:18:10):
Population when you're just throwing them back, I know, but
throwing them back in a different neighborhood, it now becomes
there on their way back.

Speaker 10 (01:18:18):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:18:19):
This is what I'm saying. This is why Alan used
to do glue traps and ziplock. Right, this is what
you get for being soft. Maybe there's a compromise. Get uh,
get those bait traps. We'll cut the bike in two.

Speaker 3 (01:18:33):
They get the bait traps, they eat the stuff, they
think they got a nice meal. They take it back
to their little nest. They kill everybody. That's what I do,
isn't it. I thought that was like for ants or something.

Speaker 15 (01:18:43):
Mice.

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
They got that from mice. You got that from mice?
Huh yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:47):
I had these little bait stations at my house. Uh
you cut these things in the house. They like you know,
they got like the ones we have in the kitchen here.

Speaker 2 (01:18:53):
Yeah, it's like that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:54):
They run in a little snack, take it back to
the nest. Well they you might take a couple of days,
but it works.

Speaker 7 (01:19:00):
Well.

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
I was gonna say, how does that work? They take
what back to the mice? Whatever they eat. Yeah, but
how does that kill the other mice? I think it's uh,
I don't know. They kiss, they kiss around the other
one's poop. I don't know, does it but something does it?

Speaker 7 (01:19:14):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:19:14):
And then the mice go back and when this sixty
nine and yeah, it's a mouse std I.

Speaker 12 (01:19:25):
Don't know about that. And frankly, I don't know that
I'm in any kind of mindset to be killing communities
of mice. I And again, the ones these aren't in
my home, right, They're just in my shed. They're in
the garage.

Speaker 2 (01:19:39):
If they're in your home, they're in your home.

Speaker 12 (01:19:42):
Yeah, I guess, But I mean, I'm just saying the
shed's way out in the back, and and you know
you're gonna have mice in there. I mean when I
was sweeping out the shed, I took everything out a
couple of weekends ago, and I was sweeping it, I
was like, Holy Christ, just you know, you end up
with a pile of debris and mouse poop. But everybody
would expect that. So nothing in the home, So it's

(01:20:02):
not like they're bothering anything. But there is the added step.
Now I want again, and mind you, if I didn't
have a nine year old daughter. I wouldn't be doing
any of this, right, I'd be going in there with
a dyson and sucking them up. Oh yeah, but there's
the added step of then taking.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
Them and humanely releasing them, shaking a couple of times
first back into Yeah, Alan, you should just take the
Tom and Jerry route and dispose of your mice with
a double barrel shotgun. See that's why I'm a sucker.
You know, I'm a single barrel shotgun man, rob and

(01:20:38):
so the double barrel those of you who are you know,
responsible gun owners. You know how you need the two
barrels for the mice, and that's to be very, very difficult.
If you really wanted to send them a message, you
would have given them little cement shoes and showed them
the lake. Right. Hope this doesn't.

Speaker 12 (01:20:58):
I should get like tiny little oil drums and put
them in there and then just like a.

Speaker 3 (01:21:03):
Final scene in Casino, Yeah, like did Joe Peshy character
mouse is gonna have to watch his brother get whacked.

Speaker 12 (01:21:09):
Yeah, come on, you're next, and then you push him
into the grave. All your friends send a message, Yeah,
Kevin and Ipselani? Alan, what would that mouse sound? Like
from the eighteenth century and hey, I'm stuck in a
glow trap. Hey, mouse and selling anything? What are you

(01:21:30):
talking about, Alan, I am pale my mice on wooden
spikes and display. The bodies are on the shed with
signs that say things like thief, adulterer, and heretic.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
I'm telling you go an old school.

Speaker 12 (01:21:42):
It does require an extra level of difficulty, but I
love the stage.

Speaker 2 (01:21:47):
Craft walking around yelling shame. Yeah, Bill, absolutely.

Speaker 12 (01:21:51):
When those other mice show up and they look and
they see a series of mice on crucifuses what's the
plural of cruci fix? When they walk away see that,
Holy cow, I am never coming back here again, Alan Cox,
you just lost to listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:22:11):
Oh no, that's fifty percent of my audience.

Speaker 12 (01:22:14):
With your story is about cruelty to mice, Absolutely vile,
disgusting and sickening. Yes, well, listen in a world now
where cruelty is not only officially sanctioned but encouraged. I'm
trying to teach my child a little bit more humanely
because people are like, why do you care for they're
mouse mice in your shed? I'm like, so, I'm a
nine year old who's fascinated by nature, that's why, and

(01:22:37):
she wants to be an active participant in it. If
you insist on killing mice, that you shoot a snaptrap
that ends her life instantly, there's absolutely no reason to
prolong your misery. Thank goodness, your daughter has some sense.
My daughter has some sense. Listen, ah, she's nine, right. No,
First of all, you're confusing the stories I was telling
from a decade ago when I was using glue traps.

(01:22:59):
I don't do that now, I said, of course, it's
because I've grown as a person. I haven't, but it
makes me sound more interesting. And by the way, don't
count on your old school traps to quote end their
life instantly.

Speaker 2 (01:23:13):
Right, if you get them in the right spot, it will.

Speaker 12 (01:23:16):
But if you've ever come across one of those old
school mouse traps where it didn't exactly, if it gets
them on the neck right, yeah, and severs their spinal.

Speaker 2 (01:23:24):
Column, yeah, it'll get them right away.

Speaker 12 (01:23:26):
If it gets them on the leg, you know, if
they if they can juke a little bit, right, is
the things coming down gets them in the leg or
anywhere or anywhere else. Don't kill them traps them. That's
even worse. Yeah, I've seen it. Where like they actually
hit it like in the middle, you know what I mean,
and they're just trying to move. Yeah, it's not good, Alan,

(01:23:47):
Poison's no good. They die in your walls, and they
stink when they rot. Short term, last thing, you take
the rough with the smooth.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
What do you want, hey, guys?

Speaker 12 (01:23:56):
Short term? Yeah, I'm playing short term stink on two
hours of midnight in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 18 (01:24:03):
Hey, guys, Alan, careful of those humane traps. Years ago,
I was using them and I put one in a
drawer because that's where a mouse kept going. I forgot
I put it in there, and about six months later
I found that trap.

Speaker 2 (01:24:18):
In there with a mouse skeleton in it. So it
was pretty god inhumane. Yeah, well that's not a trap problem,
that's a you problem. Well, it's also the traps are humane.
You go and you release them or whatever, and they're fine,
and you know it. Also, and my daughter and I
noticed this, or she pointed it out.

Speaker 12 (01:24:36):
It is also an interesting case study in the various
personalities of mice because we ended up with these two
humane traps, each with a live mouse in it, and
we're going to take it in the woods and release them.
One of the mice a day later because kept them overnight.
A day later, the one mouse running around, still trying

(01:24:58):
to get out of this thing right, hasn't figured it
out yet, and they're side by side they can see
each other transparent traps. The other one curled up at
one end, not moving. It's almost resigned itself to its fate,
and you have to wonder why that is. Then you
open the door and he's like own free and they're
hanging it free as the wind blows. You gotta shake

(01:25:21):
it a little bit when you get it down to
the ground, because it was like it was hanging on
for grim death.

Speaker 18 (01:25:28):
Alan Rob's bait trap idea is perfect. You your daughter
does not need to know everything you are doing. Put
those secretly around. Don't let her completely run your life.
You're gonna have mice forever later, Guys, I like that
guy's parenting tips. Don't let her completely run your life. Yes,

(01:25:49):
you know how she runs my life. When I said
I'm going to get some humane traps for these mice.

Speaker 12 (01:25:55):
And then the other end of the spectrum is Tia,
who's number three fourteen on the Blacklist. She goes, we
used to use glue traps from ice, and don't put
them in bags and take them outside and drop bricks
on them.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
Jesus Christ. Right, wow, yours is but I the a hole. Wow,
you can't.

Speaker 12 (01:26:11):
Rob Jesus now, and your daughter's offering them a better
life in a field with other mouse friends. Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Everybody's got their thoughts on how to do it. But again,
I like the stage craft of it. Set up a

(01:26:33):
tiny gallows or a guillotine. I'd like to find tiny
little stocks and put them in those right head the
middle hole, paw on each of the outer ones, and
then when people walk by, Uh, they'll notice.

Speaker 2 (01:26:46):
What was that story?

Speaker 17 (01:26:48):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:26:48):
The guy comes in with a little flute, plays them
out of town. The follow Yeah, and get some pied pipe.
Yeah yeah, pipe peeper. Those are only humane mouse traps
if you remember to check them. Yeah, listen, understood. I
don't know how many people are taking per that guy's story.

(01:27:13):
I can't imagine setting a trap, because if you go
to the lengths of getting traps, it's a problem you
want to solve or at least mitigate, right, and then
forget about them.

Speaker 12 (01:27:23):
I don't understand that. I mean, very next day I'd
be like, let's go see we get a mouse. Get
this thing out of here. How busy are you that
you forget about.

Speaker 2 (01:27:31):
Especially in a drawer.

Speaker 12 (01:27:33):
You know, you never open that drawer like you've got
You've got mice in a drawer, So you go, okay,
that drawer. I'm gonna put a trap in there, and
then you don't open it for six months. You forget
about it. You must be very busy. Boy, I thought
I was busy, very busy. On have you asked the
mice nicely to leave?

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
I sure have? Oh that was don't think I didn't
do that.

Speaker 12 (01:27:56):
That was my first line of defense, ask them nicely
to leave trouble as they're never there when you want them, right.
I speak to them once I get them in the trap,
I say, tell your friends, Tell your friends what you
saw here today. Tell the story electric traps. Say there

(01:28:22):
you go use electric traps kills them instantly.

Speaker 2 (01:28:27):
And again.

Speaker 12 (01:28:27):
I imagine that after a very brief period of time,
my daughter will forget about these.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
At all, and then I'll just put one in the garage.
And you know, because I don't want to get into
the house. Go from there. The shed mouse really don't care?

Speaker 13 (01:28:43):
Right?

Speaker 12 (01:28:44):
A shed is outside it's going to be subject to
all kinds of woodland creatures, but maybe yours.

Speaker 3 (01:28:53):
Huh, maybe yours. I know it's my shed man, Yeah,
a little higher on the food chain.

Speaker 12 (01:28:59):
Yeah, Alan, If you build a little nuclear reactor in
the shed and let him melt down, the mice won't
be able to live there for hundreds of years.

Speaker 8 (01:29:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:29:08):
The thought being if I stage a mouse three mile island, right,
if there's not enough water getting into cool the reactor rods,
the fuel rods, then these mice. Yeah, but then they
would take they would take that radiation wherever they went
after that, they would irradiate the immediate vicinity.

Speaker 2 (01:29:28):
It's not terrible, and I'm not looking for that.

Speaker 12 (01:29:30):
A little mini Chernobyl, Yeah, Alan, Happy belated downtown anniversary. Boy,
the things that people commit to memory. Kevin and ipsel
Ani Michigan are bureau chief there. This past Saturday was
our third anniversary down here, I believe, at our new studios.
Really yeah, a fact that I've taken great pains to

(01:29:52):
try to erase from my memory.

Speaker 2 (01:29:54):
But thank you, Kevin.

Speaker 3 (01:29:56):
That would be my three year anniversary here in Cleveland, Ohio.

Speaker 2 (01:29:59):
Is well, Oh, good for you. Yeah, Yes, I went
camping this weekend, Rob, How was that?

Speaker 23 (01:30:12):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
It was eight days of enjoyment. Eight days. Well, we
went on. I'm sorry, no, I hadn't gone ten camping
in a long time.

Speaker 15 (01:30:21):
We went.

Speaker 2 (01:30:22):
I came back early because I was on the air today.

Speaker 12 (01:30:23):
Of course, my wife and child and brother in law
he went back to Michigan and they came back today.

Speaker 2 (01:30:30):
We went out to Kelly's Island.

Speaker 12 (01:30:31):
Last time we went, we stayed in what I didn't
realize was the one hotel on Kelly's Island. This time
we decided to get a campground there on the north
side of the island. And Saturday was hot as ball,
so it was, you know, kind of uncomfortable. But there's
you know, you rent a golf cart and you zipping
around and my daughter made some friends. There is this
across from the state park where we had our campground.

(01:30:54):
There is kind of this general store. It's called Uncle Dix,
and they, I know, they really are not capitalizing on
the things that they could do with that name right there.
But it's Kelly's Island, and it's this isn't put In Bay,
right People who go to putt In Bay.

Speaker 2 (01:31:12):
That's kind of where you go to party. I still
have never been to putt In Bay.

Speaker 12 (01:31:15):
Been to Kelly's Island a couple of times, take the
ferry over and whatever, but it is more sedate. It's
more you know, people aren't popping off over their on
Kelly's Islands. A lot of families and a lot of
tent camping, a lot of people pulling in their giant
ARV's and things like that, posting up for a week.
We were just there for the weekend and legit tent camping,

(01:31:36):
which is fun. Fine, we're right there by the beach.
But there's this place called Uncle Dixon. If you've been
to Kelly's Island, you're familiar with it, and they're really
not capitalizing on what they could be doing with that
named again, they're trying to keep it above board. Well,
what I did notice is that they have a whole
you know, there's all kinds of Kelly's Island merch. Every
store you go into, they're trying to sell you chachkes

(01:31:57):
and shot classes and whatever. Kelly's Eye's fine, but they
do have a whole series of t shirts that they're
selling at this place that's say Kelly's Island keeping it
weird and they're in a variety of colors the same design,
and again I don't understand the design. There are so
many different ways you could go with Kelly's Island. Whatever

(01:32:17):
you're trying to kind of drill down on this particular
shirt is a taco surfing. Now, you'll see some white
caps there on the north end of the island, but
you're not going to see any surfing, although I did
see one dude on one of those motorized wakeboards or
whatever that was pretty wild where it just looks like
you're hydroplaning above the surface of the water. That's pretty red.

(01:32:40):
And so they have this particular shirt in multiple colors
all along the back wall Kelly's Island, keeping it weird
with a surfing taco fine, except on every single one
of those shirts because they use the same image. Weird
is misspelled wie rd is how they spelled. Of course,
weird is w e I r D. So not only

(01:33:02):
are they're kind of lifting a bit from Austin, Texas.
You know, keep Austin weird. A lot of other cities
rip that off, but Austin went the first one to
do what I think, weird is misspelled on every single
one of those t shirts. I don't know how many
of those that they move on a regular basis, but
I was perplexed by a surfing taco to represent the

(01:33:24):
idyllic environment on the Achilles Island. But also that weird
on every single one of those shirts is.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
Misspelled, And you don't think anybody along the world like,
maybe is there a joke We're just not privy to.

Speaker 12 (01:33:38):
If there is, I'd love to know what it is
so I can be in on it. So yeah, sound
like a douche. And again I'm not trying to be no, No.
I was just kind of standing there looking at it
as my kid was getting some ice cream, because this
is one of these places where they have like shirts
and you know, all like the touristy stuff, but then
they have like an ice cream case and there's snacks,
you know, things that you might need from because the

(01:33:58):
campground is right across the streets. It is one of
those general store type places. And I'm standing there looking
and I'm like, that is spelled wrong on every single
one of those shirts.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
Alan, could you help me promote my youth for Christ event?

Speaker 12 (01:34:16):
Boy, this is not somebody who listens to this program
because you are zero for two without one home Boy,
I am neither a young nor a believer in Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:34:26):
The Allen Cork Show on one.

Speaker 26 (01:34:33):
Cork Show, what the hell is this a perverts convention
or something?

Speaker 17 (01:34:38):
On one hundred point seven, domma Elan.

Speaker 2 (01:34:41):
I've noticed, let me get some appropriate music here. You
don't know if that's appropriate music?

Speaker 8 (01:34:50):
There we go?

Speaker 12 (01:34:51):
Oh no, Elan, I've noticed the kind of a heartbreaking
trend of robbing down on himself and the way his
body looks. I don't want to sound like some itpy
dippy bulls shrimp, but considering the assaults, men and women
are constantly bombarded with what's handsome and beautiful and hearing
how Rob would quote never dream to wear summer hoochi

(01:35:14):
daddy shorts would Rob? And by chance, even you ever
consider doing a do dwar photo shoot. Wow, I've already
been naked on camera in front of people that I
work with. Okay, I've already I've already earned my bona fides.

Speaker 3 (01:35:32):
Yeah, and that's someplace we're not going to be equal.
So you'll continue to have those bona fides, and I
will not.

Speaker 12 (01:35:36):
I was buck naked in a Alankochho comedy tour promo
years ago. I did see that the mean jumped out
of the car. I got out of the car buck naked. Yeah,
we were doing a hangover parody. That's how long ago.
That was bare ass, bare ass baby. Leslie says she
did a boudoir photo shoot several years ago and it
really helped her develop and appreciation for her body and

(01:36:01):
all the things that have made her feel horrifically insecure.
My thing is just that the best way to get,
the only way out is through right. I've never met
a nude beach I didn't like. She said, I know
a man who did a Due dwar photo shoot is
a gift to as a wife, and she absolutely loved it.

(01:36:24):
How about that, Lesley's concerned about you being so down
on yourself?

Speaker 3 (01:36:27):
Well, that's really nice, But unfortunately she's not the first,
nor will she be the last person to be concerned
about I'm down on myself.

Speaker 2 (01:36:34):
I am, that's just me.

Speaker 12 (01:36:35):
Have you ever had the conversation with your wife about
a due Dwarf photo?

Speaker 2 (01:36:40):
Absolutely not. Listen my wife. I want to see.

Speaker 12 (01:36:43):
George Costanza on the schist lounge. Yeah, on the fainting couch.

Speaker 3 (01:36:49):
There's just certain things that I'm very I'm amazingly self aware. Right,
I understand what I'm carrying here. Right, I'm not the
ugliest fell on the planet. I'm not the most fat,
not a shape guy on the planet. But I am
just ugly and fat, not a shape enough that I
don't want.

Speaker 2 (01:37:09):
To be naked around.

Speaker 12 (01:37:09):
But what if you got yourself in shape for the
sole purpose of doing a do dwar photo shoot for
your wife?

Speaker 3 (01:37:16):
Listen if my old mother, yeah, my wife, listen, she
has to live next to it. You think she wants
to see pictures of it too. Here, honey, here's a
gift of me, uh over a tub? Yeah, here you go, enjoy.

Speaker 2 (01:37:29):
Here's me neck deep in rose petals.

Speaker 10 (01:37:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:31):
Look, you're saying.

Speaker 12 (01:37:33):
I'm saying that you like got yourself into like a
shape that you liked, and then you had them take
it right, right, that's the end of the line.

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
I get a big goal and that's but what is
what is the what is she? Why would she want that?
I don't know, I don't know your wife. Why would
anybody want that? Would? Leslie just said a lot of
people enjoy it. I'm saying, a good woman if that
if her as a woman if her husband was like, hey,
I got you a gift and she hands him up.
He hands with this booklet and she opens it up

(01:38:02):
and there he is, was like laying on a bearskin
rug with his ass hanging. I was like, hey, little smile,
and you know he's dressed up like Cupid for February.

Speaker 12 (01:38:09):
Nobody wants that it's something that she would spere it
away in a night's stand, or something that's not going
to be on display, but.

Speaker 2 (01:38:16):
Display or not. But if you if you want to
see it, you're laying next to it. Leslie says that.

Speaker 12 (01:38:22):
The woman who got the Due Doir photo shoot from
her husband said that she really liked how it helped
him feel good about him.

Speaker 15 (01:38:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:38:31):
I know what's going to happen. Let's say I go
through it right now. I booked this session and I go.
You'll go psychotic over can I see the photos. I
will start screaming at the top of my lungs about
how terrible I look. Okay, look at my ass, Oly God,
look at all that stuff. Look at my fat well,
my fat belly, my fat ass. This is terrible. Yeah,

(01:38:51):
but there's power in owning it, leaning in you know
what else? There's power in not doing that, not putting
myself in that situation. All right, avoid it completely.

Speaker 12 (01:39:02):
Yeah, it's not worth the chance that she might go,
this is amazing, because it would be so counterintuitive, it
would be so against your personality that she go, this
is amazing. No, No, I'm literally seeing a side of you,
Rob that I've never seen before.

Speaker 2 (01:39:19):
She says, that's impossible. Yeah, she's seen every side of
me possible. The poor thing. I need to see photos
of it.

Speaker 18 (01:39:28):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:39:28):
This has been who I am my entire life.

Speaker 12 (01:39:30):
Now, when you die your beard, it will change overnight. Yeah,
who cares? And people will go, oh hey. What makes
people nervous is when they do something to try it out.
What makes them nervous is having other people think that
they think it looks awesome. That's what jams people up,

(01:39:51):
rather than just going, yeah, I'm just trying it out.

Speaker 2 (01:39:53):
We'll see you know.

Speaker 12 (01:39:54):
People have shaved their head and I'm trying it out
because I don't know.

Speaker 15 (01:39:59):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:39:59):
Like I feel, like I mentioned earlier, I'm very self aware.
I feel like if I look at people sometimes who
think that their to pay looks perfectly fine, right, or
this is clearly not yours, right, and they walk around
with no concern or whatever, and I'm like very judging.

(01:40:20):
I'm like, oh my god dde.

Speaker 12 (01:40:22):
But here's the thing, though, we are expending so much
time in that situation on somebody else and they are
expending zero, Right, That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:40:32):
That's where I want to get.

Speaker 12 (01:40:33):
But because that's the joke, Oh he thinks he looks great. No, no, no,
that's what we're projecting onto them. They just don't care
how it looks. But I want to be that's the
ultimate card, that's the ultimate freedom. Everybody thinks that those
people think, oh they're kid themselves. They think it looks great,
because the implication is, well, if you thought otherwise, you
wouldn't wear it. With forgetting a lot of people they

(01:40:54):
don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:40:55):
They don't care. To me, somebody weren't a too pay
is no different then somebody walking to the store in
their pajamas. It's the same thing. They do not care,
And so why am I gonna care?

Speaker 12 (01:41:09):
I care if somebody else thinks obviously it's a it's obviously. Ever,
nobody can get away from that. Of course I care
what other people think, but not strangers. I care what
people I know think.

Speaker 2 (01:41:23):
That's where I got it. I don't spend too much
time on it. That's that's my goal, that's what I'm
working towards. That's why I go to therapy. Well I
do too, but a therapy didn't get me there. I
mean it's I don't know, sooner or later you just go,
what am I wasting all this time for? Wondering?

Speaker 12 (01:41:40):
Because they're not thinking about me. I think about them
for they're thinking about me.

Speaker 2 (01:41:45):
Eh well, maybe I'll die. We'll see. I think you should.
I think I'm just so nervous about looking like an ahole.
Well again, I shouldn't care. I put together a song,
Rob for your beard. Okay, It's called Rob's Midnight Beard.
I am with a smile, little grin, back is the
night Holy Man. Bo stared and whispered.

Speaker 8 (01:42:07):
Ain't Sam but Rob just chuckle?

Speaker 4 (01:42:10):
Let the games begin?

Speaker 2 (01:42:15):
What did you do?

Speaker 15 (01:42:19):
All?

Speaker 4 (01:42:19):
Listen In the song to.

Speaker 2 (01:42:21):
Peer cold steer out, he's the man with the midnight beer.
Be the man with a midnight beer. I kind of
like that. Come on, I'm telling you, it could be
Hollywood Rob with the midnight beat. Yes, sounds pretty good.
I'm all in favor of that. Maybe I'll just do
it because what do you say in the song? What
did AI say that you said in this song? Let
the games begin? Yeah, yeah, it's can be a whole

(01:42:43):
new chapter for me.

Speaker 12 (01:42:44):
You should do it in fact, before you do the
stage announcements for ghost How long is it that's this
Thursday night?

Speaker 2 (01:42:51):
How long does it take? Will you do it tonight?

Speaker 27 (01:42:54):
Hm?

Speaker 2 (01:42:56):
Maybe I will?

Speaker 12 (01:42:57):
Something light, something closer to your actual that's the thing.
You want to go too dark?

Speaker 7 (01:43:02):
Right?

Speaker 12 (01:43:02):
You want something better light than than too light than
too dark. Yeah, you get yourself like a box of
fairy of forty or something so white. Yeah, I did
because you have the goat. You're doing the same a
Thounsmand's Ghosts on Thursday night? Right, Yeah, yeah, do it
Wednesday night. Give it a day to marinate.

Speaker 2 (01:43:23):
If I'm gonna do it before that, I'll do it tonight.
Oh yes, if I'm gonna do it, I gotta I
gotta convince myself before the end of the data stop
on my way home to pick up some just for men.
There you go, drunk, Sue, Hi, Alan, how are you?
What's up?

Speaker 8 (01:43:40):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:43:41):
Not a whole lot.

Speaker 10 (01:43:42):
I just pulling a chicken.

Speaker 28 (01:43:43):
Let y'all know people, guess look, I'm just breaking my
border for the intelligence control.

Speaker 2 (01:43:50):
Breaking your what. I don't know what you just said, Sue.

Speaker 28 (01:43:53):
Remember what you said about you take your intelligence between
twenty five and sixty h yup.

Speaker 2 (01:44:00):
They said that your brain, the human brain, peaks right
around sixty.

Speaker 15 (01:44:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:44:05):
Yeah, I broke the other side, you broke.

Speaker 2 (01:44:09):
Okay, you are you saying that you you turned sixty?

Speaker 13 (01:44:14):
No?

Speaker 10 (01:44:14):
Remember I turned sixty one last March.

Speaker 2 (01:44:17):
I was gonna say, yeah, we know, yeah, okay, okay, yeah,
what was that?

Speaker 10 (01:44:20):
What's that song book on the other side?

Speaker 12 (01:44:25):
Yes, ye, Downhill, see right, you're you're a year into
that uh that brain degradation.

Speaker 10 (01:44:34):
The year yep, I mean I mean the year into stupidity.

Speaker 1 (01:44:37):
Hmm hmm.

Speaker 12 (01:44:38):
Well you're no dummy, Sue. People can call you a
lot of things, but you're in the dummy. Oh yes,
And how will you be spending your weekend? Are you
getting the party started early?

Speaker 2 (01:44:51):
No?

Speaker 28 (01:44:52):
No, I don't think we're playing anything, just me and
Bob being together.

Speaker 10 (01:44:55):
Here watching football?

Speaker 2 (01:44:56):
Okay, watching football? All right? Oh yeah, and how's Bob feeling?
How are you feeling?

Speaker 10 (01:45:04):
He's so good. I've had a bad spot on his foot.
I went and saw the foot doctor.

Speaker 8 (01:45:11):
You have to get to the.

Speaker 5 (01:45:14):
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (01:45:17):
Okay, you saw the foot doctor.

Speaker 10 (01:45:19):
What do they say, you, you know, just keep this
on there and keep it dry, yadda YadA YadA.

Speaker 2 (01:45:27):
And what's the what what's the problem with the foot?

Speaker 10 (01:45:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:45:32):
Well, well, did he know? I imagine he would know.

Speaker 28 (01:45:36):
Yeh, flat feat the flat feat. I got two horrendous bunions.
I got a hammer toe on the right side, and yeah,
I once turning into the hammer toe on the left side.

Speaker 2 (01:45:54):
Yeah, mempi demon, Yeah yeah I did so unless that puddle, like, you've.

Speaker 12 (01:46:02):
Got a whole bunch of stuff going on, and that's
just one foot too right. You got neuropathy, you got
a hammer toe, you got no art support, you got
what'd you say, horrendous bunions?

Speaker 28 (01:46:15):
Oh my god, dude, my my big toes are literally
like almost.

Speaker 10 (01:46:21):
A green angle.

Speaker 2 (01:46:23):
You've got like paronis of the foot.

Speaker 12 (01:46:27):
Well, I know what it's like when a guy's when
a guy's dog is like at a ninety degree angle.
It's yeah, you've got like ponies of the toe.

Speaker 10 (01:46:38):
Yeah, definite parones in my in the seat.

Speaker 12 (01:46:44):
So you're so those those those horrendous bunions are really
causing a lot of problems. Right, you get that big
bump on the outside of end. Oh yeah yeah, yeah,
good gravy.

Speaker 2 (01:46:57):
And so there's really not that much that he can do, right,
he just goes, here's the thing.

Speaker 10 (01:47:04):
I know, it's awful and it is bad and it sucks,
but at least I have feet.

Speaker 12 (01:47:11):
Yes, you're always glass half full, Sue. You know some people,
Walter Williams calls us all the time double amputee.

Speaker 2 (01:47:19):
He's but you at least have feet. They are, Yes,
they're they're they're painting.

Speaker 10 (01:47:26):
And I got it.

Speaker 8 (01:47:27):
M h m hm.

Speaker 2 (01:47:30):
And so how did you end up that way? Sue?
Did you just wear shoes for decades didn't fit? Is
it hereditary? What happened?

Speaker 17 (01:47:36):
No?

Speaker 10 (01:47:37):
I just I had good tennis shoes, but I was
walking on concrete a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:47:42):
Yeah, okay, in my shop jobs. And you just got
the point where.

Speaker 28 (01:47:51):
Let me don't want to get it on two steps better,
let it alone a big better like I used to.

Speaker 10 (01:47:54):
The paint and stuff like that.

Speaker 12 (01:47:56):
I understand. So it's just a boyd now where you
have to you have to manage your bunions.

Speaker 2 (01:48:03):
Yeah, or it it is me.

Speaker 28 (01:48:04):
It tells me what I'm allowed to do, what I
ain't right, Okay, yeah, well I have to I have
toack me for a couple of days.

Speaker 12 (01:48:14):
I have to assume sue that with something like bunions,
you probably have to avoid like salt right, you don't
want to, you don't want You're trying to minimize your inflammation.

Speaker 8 (01:48:24):
Yeah, well good for good luck for that, all right?

Speaker 2 (01:48:28):
Can you can you? And there's no way you can
pop your toes back into place.

Speaker 10 (01:48:33):
Right like, oh god, now they're stuck, all make them
go forward.

Speaker 2 (01:48:40):
I understand it sounds terrible, but you're managing it right.

Speaker 10 (01:48:44):
Oh yeah, I know for a fact people got a
worse than I do. And that's what I'm grateful. Every
day I wake up and say, hey.

Speaker 2 (01:48:52):
God, I'll tell you what the yea god?

Speaker 17 (01:48:56):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:48:57):
God, you don't believe, but I do.

Speaker 12 (01:49:00):
I don't, and you know I don't believe. I'm an
atheist and yet I don't have bunions, So imagine that. Yeah,
there's no there's no justice.

Speaker 2 (01:49:12):
Justice right. Yeah, but you're a couple of years older
than me. I know that I wrote down.

Speaker 10 (01:49:18):
I wrote down something for another T shirt. Yeah, says,
the order you get, the quicker you get old. I
still got to get that other one we were talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:49:32):
And what was the other one? Refreshed my memory?

Speaker 8 (01:49:39):
I'm good, good, what was it?

Speaker 15 (01:49:44):
Oh?

Speaker 10 (01:49:45):
I did that in my head because I was going
to tell you. Oh, I couldn't give less even if
I tried.

Speaker 2 (01:49:55):
All right, thank you to care less doing this.

Speaker 23 (01:49:58):
I tried.

Speaker 4 (01:49:58):
I love you day that you take.

Speaker 2 (01:50:00):
Care of yourself.

Speaker 16 (01:50:04):
Dealing with some.

Speaker 8 (01:50:06):
Issues. Bunyons.

Speaker 24 (01:50:10):
Yeah, that was a lot, Sue.

Speaker 2 (01:50:16):
That's why you can't believe in a benevolent gods.

Speaker 8 (01:50:19):
Very deptive.

Speaker 2 (01:50:24):
Listen, man, this is the eard of the mind.

Speaker 7 (01:50:25):
Rob.

Speaker 12 (01:50:26):
I need a very descriptive explanation. I don't think I listen.
I like her outlook on life. She's like, yeah, I
got bunions. Yeah, my toes are all running away from
each other.

Speaker 2 (01:50:41):
But at least I have feet. But for how long?

Speaker 12 (01:50:45):
Well, I mean, I don't know, but for now, for now,
she has feet. I just assume it's going to be
a past tense type of thing very soon. Alan Porsu's
toes probably look like somebody spilled the shrimp cocktail on
the fluck.

Speaker 2 (01:51:04):
Oh, come on, horrendous bunions tomorrow night. However, two hours
to midnight.

Speaker 12 (01:51:09):
I'm very excited to play them for you, like in
Parmisaning Funky Cold Lymphedema.

Speaker 2 (01:51:16):
Right, thank you, Mike. All done.

Speaker 12 (01:51:19):
Sue's footprints probably look like Google maps right Land of
ten Thousand Lakes A Teddy, Hello, Teddy, This is Teddy.

Speaker 2 (01:51:35):
Yeah, this's Teddy. What's up, Teddy?

Speaker 1 (01:51:38):
What's going on?

Speaker 8 (01:51:39):
Man?

Speaker 1 (01:51:39):
How are you today?

Speaker 2 (01:51:40):
Hanging out? Yeah? How everyone doing?

Speaker 11 (01:51:45):
There?

Speaker 1 (01:51:45):
Used to be an intern for the Maxwell Show.

Speaker 2 (01:51:48):
I don't know how many people are.

Speaker 1 (01:51:49):
Still around, but I just wanted to call and see
what was going on. I used to be, you know,
former graduate of the House Center for Broadcasting.

Speaker 10 (01:51:59):
You know it.

Speaker 1 (01:52:00):
It'd be awesome if you guys could kind of, you know,
point me in the right direction. Maybe you'd get an
unpaid internship. You know, I'm sober now. I got to
do volunteer work.

Speaker 12 (01:52:09):
So oh boy, I mean we don't we don't have it.
But you were already an intern, Teddy.

Speaker 1 (01:52:15):
Yeah, I was an intern before I even went to OCB.

Speaker 2 (01:52:20):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:52:20):
So you know what happened was what had happened was I, uh,
I had a beer at like the Saint Patti's Day
Extravaganza where they were broadcasting from the Harry Buffalo and
then like the next time we went to the Velvet Dog,
I had a few more beers, you know, and they
they kind of let me go. So you know, that's

(01:52:43):
one of those.

Speaker 12 (01:52:44):
Yeah, but we all but we all have Teddy, we
all have beers at events. Did you get rowdy or
did you get to Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:52:49):
Yeah, no I didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:52:50):
I didn't get rowdy. What it was was, I just
started and it was kind of like, who's this dude,
you know, not even asking permission, sneaking on off and
choking beers real quick and coming back.

Speaker 2 (01:53:02):
Like it held my energy for the promotions, you know,
but you mean instead of you mean, instead of of working,
you were drinking on the side there.

Speaker 1 (01:53:13):
Yeah, like if I had two or three minutes, you know,
I'd go run to the bar real quick, have a drink,
and then come back to my work.

Speaker 9 (01:53:20):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:53:20):
Yeah, I'd only be gone.

Speaker 1 (01:53:22):
For a couple of minutes at a time. But you know,
it's not something you want to do when you're trying
to get your.

Speaker 12 (01:53:26):
Foot in the door, you know, I see, well, what
were you trying to do? What did you want to
do if you got your foot in the door. I mean,
we don't have an internship program, Teddy.

Speaker 1 (01:53:35):
Oh you don't anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:53:37):
We haven't had interns for a long time now.

Speaker 12 (01:53:39):
There were too many of them that thought that they
should have gotten paid and started suing the company. And
so the company was like, yeah, I think we're okay,
and so now we have you know, co hosts, answering
phones and things like that.

Speaker 2 (01:53:52):
Yeah, it's a lot of fun, fun for them, A
lofty idea.

Speaker 1 (01:53:55):
That's a lofty idea for me. You know, I don't
know if you guys would. I got plenty of material,
but you know, I don't think i'd be allowed to.

Speaker 2 (01:54:09):
Be a co host.

Speaker 15 (01:54:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:54:10):
I wasn't talking about you, Teddy. I was talking about
my current Yeah. Listen, what do you do now, Teddy?

Speaker 1 (01:54:18):
Right now, I am currently taking care of some sobriety issues.

Speaker 24 (01:54:26):
I had just.

Speaker 1 (01:54:28):
Dealt with some troubles with the law, and what I
do now, I'm at a sober house and you know,
I'm working my steps.

Speaker 12 (01:54:36):
You thought that, I mean, I applaud you. You thought
that that was a good time to get into an
internship program. It sounds like you got to focus on
your recovery Teddy.

Speaker 1 (01:54:51):
Absolutely absolutely. I mean I had idea for like I
think you were talking about, like sober sober radio, recovery radio,
you know, like you could make a whole XM station.

Speaker 2 (01:55:02):
I was not serious. Yeah, listen to you.

Speaker 12 (01:55:06):
I wish you nothing but the best, Teddy, and uh
good to hear from the Ellen Cox Show seven w MMS.

Speaker 2 (01:55:17):
When the world just seems.

Speaker 3 (01:55:19):
Too crazy, gaze into the eyes of a child because
you'll probably find a booger And man, is that a
hoof Allen.

Speaker 2 (01:55:29):
Cox Show on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 25 (01:55:57):
You know who this is?

Speaker 2 (01:55:57):
Rob Oh, we got the technical difficulties.

Speaker 12 (01:56:05):
Hugh Anthony Craig the Third, better known as Huey lewis
this guy.

Speaker 2 (01:56:09):
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 12 (01:56:12):
When my friend was in from Saint Louis, she and
her husband, we were having a couple of drinks before
the nine inch Nails show. They had come in for that,
just to reiterate how varied people's musical taste can be.
I know that mine run mcgammut, I love Seely Dan,
I love Lama God and a lot of things in between.
And I mentioned this because my friend's husband they came

(01:56:35):
all the way to Cleveland from Saint Louis, because Nine
Inch Nails is his second favorite is his favorite band.
Second favorite band, Huey Lewis and the News his second
favorite band. Our good buddy Jesse Schultz, who works for
this company huge Huey Lewis band, right, And so now
Huey Lewis sadly he doesn't perform anymore because he is

(01:56:56):
largely he's gone deaf. He's got something called many airs disease,
which is like an infection of the inner ear or
something where you get ten of this and you get vertigo,
and he can barely so he can't hear music anymore.
I mean, I can't imagine a worse fate for a
musician than not being able to hear or perform music.
But he finds different ways to be creative. And I

(01:57:18):
only mention this because I was telling my friend's husband.
I go, I'm never mad when I hear Huey Lewis.
He's not like a guy that I normally think of.
It's not somebody who pops up in a playlist of mine.
But I'm never mad when I hear Huey Lewis. One
of the first people I was ever asked on this
show by the audience to hit the post. When when

(01:57:39):
people started to get hit to hitting the post, somebody
asked me to hit the post on Huey Lewis from Huey.

Speaker 16 (01:57:45):
Lewis, you going to see this in the movie, hu
Lewis sounds the news of her brother, one of the
boys five.

Speaker 2 (01:57:57):
I mean, it's a laborer love.

Speaker 12 (01:57:59):
There's nothing wrong with that at all, but that Huey Lewis,
who also, by the way, I try to remind myself
of this all the time. I try to be a
glass half full guy. You got to take the rough
with the smooth. I said it moments ago.

Speaker 4 (01:58:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:58:14):
Sure, Huey Lewis has many years disease. It's impossible really
for him to hear or perform music. But the guy's
got a knees shooter too. This guy has a kidney
cracker the likes of Witch. The guy's seventy five years
old and he's tucking it into his sock. So I
guess that has got to be a glass half full

(01:58:36):
type situation. There is a Lyssa I'm a sucker for
a mashup and yeah it's pretty corny. But they're doing
something called quack to the future outside of Detroit and
more ducks huh oh good, more ducks and Huey Lewis

(01:58:56):
is somehow going to be part of that. But Yuey
Lewis in the news boy anytime I hear him. And again,
he's seventy five years old. But if you want to
have a high old time, read Huey Lewis's r Wikipedia page,
because this guy has kind of been kind of like

(01:59:17):
Zelig too. He has been in the background of a
lot of people's musical endeavors. He was in a band
called Clover in the early seventies and they were best
known for being Elvis Costello's backing band. So that's kind
of how Huey Lewis started. And his dad was a

(01:59:39):
lawyer or something. He was born in New York, but
his dad was a da outside of Boston, and his
mom had an affair with Lou Welch, who was one
of the big beat poets back in the day, and
then that became his stepdad. But Huey Lewis got gone

(02:00:00):
with like a lot of other people, and he backed
up He backed up Elvis Costella for a while. But anyway,
all of that pales in comparison to the fact that
this guy has got a duct tape his joint to
the inside of his day right went to Cornell University.

Speaker 2 (02:00:20):
Confirmed.

Speaker 3 (02:00:21):
Yeah, I told you I had a girl that I
dated and just after high school her mom used to
date the drummer of uh well date course of course.

Speaker 2 (02:00:31):
Uh and yeah, humongous hog. She'd seen it.

Speaker 12 (02:00:34):
Yeah, it's like free way Bill from the Tubes. My
ex wife is good friends with fee Waybill, and I
love the Tubes.

Speaker 2 (02:00:42):
She's a beauty.

Speaker 12 (02:00:44):
Yeah, fee way Bill has got a kickstand man. This
guy can lean forward and he won't fall on his face.

Speaker 2 (02:00:51):
He really does.

Speaker 3 (02:00:52):
And good for him, right, good for him. Sorry for
all the craziness there. I spilled water right as we
were coming back.

Speaker 2 (02:01:01):
From break on. I count on you to be the professional.

Speaker 8 (02:01:06):
I mean it was.

Speaker 2 (02:01:07):
That was when I tell you close. I mean like
that was right on the video stuff just about it.

Speaker 12 (02:01:12):
I wasn't sure at first what was happening. I thought
something got unplugged. You're like, who's this and then I
saw it, and then I saw you coming with paper towels.
I was like, oh, yeah, I didn't know something got
into the machinery.

Speaker 2 (02:01:26):
Or it was close. It was close, not like I'm
working with a ton of audio and video equipment orning
and open cups of water rock.

Speaker 15 (02:01:37):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (02:01:38):
Come you think I'm a professional, Well listen, I'll make mistakes.

Speaker 8 (02:01:43):
I don't have to tell you.

Speaker 2 (02:01:45):
I'm not sure the last time I spilled something. Mmm
mm hmm. Man. That was close. It was like that
bounty commercial where it's reaping towards something. Everybody goes.

Speaker 12 (02:02:03):
Right, Yeah, you see those commercials where they knock some
water over in slow motion.

Speaker 2 (02:02:09):
It hit my keyboard, but that was it. So thankfully
it didn't didn't do a whole It didn't gum up
the works or anything like that. No, okay, thank.

Speaker 3 (02:02:17):
God, Oh goodness, that's exactly it. That was like running
trying to catch it. I pushed it all off then
of the floor, and I got a bunch on Gen's chairs.
So if that's try tomorrow. Sorry Jen.

Speaker 2 (02:02:32):
Why is jud Patshadow's seat so wet?

Speaker 15 (02:02:36):
Noose?

Speaker 2 (02:02:36):
At eleven on nineteen blame Rob Anthony, Wow, Jeff and
Walton Hills. Alan.

Speaker 12 (02:02:44):
Yesterday, you got snippy about seeing tucka muck first run.
No I didn't, I said I didn't see it first run.
It's from nineteen fifty four. Sorry, we forgot your parents
are strict and didn't think three was old enough to
watch cartoons. Well, listen cable, right, we only had four channels.
We had the local affiliates. We had the PBS channel

(02:03:06):
Channel eleven in Chicago, and once in a while, on
like a rainy night, we would get some television stations
from Wisconsin. And but you know, public television is where
I got into Monty Python and Blackadder and those kinds
of shows.

Speaker 2 (02:03:22):
They would show them on Saturday nights.

Speaker 12 (02:03:25):
But yeah, I f cable and so I had like
Best of Looney Tunes or something on VHS, and ducka
Muck was part of that, and to this day it
remains probably my favorite cartoon. But no, I did not
watch it first run. It was from I didn't realize
how old it was until I googled it. It's from

(02:03:46):
nineteen fifty four. Alan, I have a bunch of ducks
across the street from me. I live at Lorraine in
one seventeenth and they're making that laughing noise all day long.

Speaker 2 (02:03:56):
Yeah, they make the noise all day long. Right, that's
where Rob's backyard.

Speaker 12 (02:04:03):
Aaron and Ackron correctly pointing out they've never even considered
Huey Lewis for induction into the rock and Roll Hall
of Fame.

Speaker 2 (02:04:10):
I wonder why that is. It's not that he's not
a prolific guy.

Speaker 15 (02:04:14):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:04:15):
You never see Huey Lewis's name associated with the rock
and Roll Hall of Fame.

Speaker 15 (02:04:18):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (02:04:19):
But I always well you you can.

Speaker 12 (02:04:21):
Never make the case that he's not rock and roll.
He told you the heart of rock and roll was
still beating in Cleveland. Yeah, Detroit, how that rock and roll.
Roth used that he could have done a part. He
could have done it, David Lee Roth going out with
how to rock and Roll? Great song? Now I am

(02:04:48):
partial to I know, a heart of rock and roll,
big big song. H for Huey Lewis and the News.
I am partial to heart and soul. That's one I
They're all good. Alan Huey Lows played harmonica on a
lot of Finn Lizzy. Right, That's what I was thinking
of Finn Lizzy. I knew it didn't begin an in
with Elvis Costello. He wrote with Phil Lennett.

Speaker 2 (02:05:07):
That's what I mean.

Speaker 12 (02:05:08):
Like, Huey Lewis was a guy back then, right, Phil
Lennitt kind of took him under his wing, which makes sense, right,
Phil Lynnett a black British guy or Irish rather, He's like,
look at this cracker with the schwong, let's figure this
out showing him up. Yeah, Ellen, it's about time we

(02:05:36):
blame that wet seed on the CLI Rattler. Listen, congratulations, Robert,
Alan Finn Lizzy not being in the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame is insane.

Speaker 2 (02:05:47):
Yes, I agree. I agree, man, there's a billion of them.
I should do another one of those weekends.

Speaker 12 (02:05:52):
It's been a while snubble shot bands that have not
been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
I mean, if you were going to do top ten
rock songs, I'd easily put jail break on them.

Speaker 2 (02:06:04):
Of course, you know everybody would immediately.

Speaker 12 (02:06:07):
You know, for a lot of people, they could immediately
fill it up with the Stones or Zeppelin or whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:06:12):
I would put jail break on there. Somewhere tonight, he's
mowed up to jail bree.

Speaker 12 (02:06:18):
Yeah, that's all you get. I like that, Alan, What
is that sitting against the bureau chief map? That is
a listener's really really poor attempted humor. Somebody sent Rob
a parrot head parking only sign HM because of course Rob, Hey,
I'm working, Because of course Rob loads anything associated with one.

(02:06:41):
James Buffett Esquire, Yeah, doesn't like the music, stops short
of celebrating his demise. Would never He's not a monster,
but certainly doesn't enjoy the music. Sewan and Bedford. I
think Rob's only legal natural solution is hoping that local
birds of prey, we'll figure out.

Speaker 2 (02:07:00):
Where those dice. I think they bring them in at night.

Speaker 12 (02:07:02):
Well I was gonna say, though, don't birds of prey
go after well, they don't go after other am I
completely wrong?

Speaker 2 (02:07:10):
No, I think they would. They go after ducks. I
think they would go an I mean, if they're hungry enough,
I think you go after anything.

Speaker 13 (02:07:14):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:07:16):
Well, I thought that they were like focused on carrion.
Maybe not.

Speaker 12 (02:07:20):
You know, everybody's got stories of like birds that'll come
down and like grab a cat or a hamster, little dog,
so yeah, something like that.

Speaker 3 (02:07:26):
Hawks will to grab a little dogs and stuff. So
maybe maybe that's what they're talking about ducks. But ye,
look I don't know. Man, Oh God, triggering now here
at work. You're gonna get it from me now look,
I now imagine this, right yeah. And I go outside
and I'm trying to have a beer grilling after a
long day of work.

Speaker 2 (02:07:47):
They see they say I did air quotes, and I
said work. Yeah, and I listen to that. That's what
I'm hearing the entire time. Could you speaking of grilling?
You know where I'm going. Oh, this guy goes out
and every day there's one less duck, yeah, and he
just smells duck breasts.

Speaker 12 (02:08:05):
And then one morning he goes out and it's silent. Yeah,
there is a single duck making a single noise. And
over that period of time he puts two and two together.
He's like, oh my god, it's like the end of
the Usual Suspects. Right, Yeah, he goes, oh my god.

(02:08:26):
Every night Rob has been grilling out there, and I
never put it together until now. Is there any way
that you could get out there undercover of moonlight? And
maybe you know, listen, let's say what it is. You
snap a duck's neck, you bring it back, you throw
it on the grill, and you know, I think he
brings them in.

Speaker 2 (02:08:47):
You've got neighbor pet al arrange. He brings them in.

Speaker 3 (02:08:51):
I think they put them in like the garage or
something at night. Why, I don't know. Are they in
a probably for the same reason they have twelve ducks,
I know.

Speaker 2 (02:08:59):
But are they in a pen? Yeah?

Speaker 12 (02:09:01):
He has like a pen buill. You can see it
kind of in that video I sent you. So I
guess my question is what is the point of this?
That's a great question, huh. And if I wasn't so.

Speaker 3 (02:09:11):
Anti talking to people I don't know, I would ask
what the point of it is? I would rather just
go on the radio and bitch about it. I understand,
because that's a lot easier than actually having a talk
to somebody who I don't know and out of the
shoot don't want to talk to.

Speaker 12 (02:09:27):
Hey, listen, this is, for better or worse, where we
come to air our grievances. Yep, it's where the audience
sometimes comes to air their grievances.

Speaker 2 (02:09:38):
Yeah, I know. I don't wish any harm on animals.
I just I don't want ducks.

Speaker 21 (02:09:43):
I know.

Speaker 2 (02:09:43):
If I wanted ducks, I would have ducks. Doesn't mean
they're not annoying, Oh, they're obnoxious.

Speaker 3 (02:09:47):
Beyond obnoxious, Like I said, especially the one that heard
that joke every single time, every ten seconds.

Speaker 2 (02:10:00):
It's not that funny.

Speaker 12 (02:10:01):
You know you should do is you should go out there,
and you did stand up back in the day. You
should go out there and start telling jokes to them.
Just stand there with a microphone that's not plugged in,
and they just record yourself doing a set in front
of these ducks, and then you edit it and then
it sounds like they're just having a high old time.

Speaker 3 (02:10:18):
I'd be kind of funny to just just do straight
duck humor. Duck walks into a bar, what did he say?

Speaker 2 (02:10:28):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (02:10:30):
I put it on my bill. See, you know, I
like that way? Getting too much from him? But why
was the baby duck sat? He was feeling down?

Speaker 16 (02:10:46):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (02:10:51):
Yeah, hey, what do you guys like to eat with
your cheese quackers? What time does a duck wake up
in the morning? The quack of dawn?

Speaker 8 (02:11:12):
I might do it?

Speaker 2 (02:11:13):
Yeah, why not? Who's standing in the guy's backyard?

Speaker 12 (02:11:16):
Hi, everybody, Alan, I had a pet duck that was
killed by a hawk. The hawk broker neck about that?
You know what you should do? You should introduce your
neighbor to your brand new pet coyote, right, I mean,
if this person really wants ducks so badly, let's see

(02:11:36):
how much they want, and when they're inside all day long?
They're inside, not just at night. I can't imagine. How
are they sleeping at night? Are ducks nocturnal? Alan, redtail
and red shoulder hawks eat squirrels, rats, chipmunks, pigeons, turkey
vultures only eat dead things. Eagles and osprey mainly eat fish.

(02:11:58):
All right, thank you ornithologists. Are they raising? Leo wants
to know.

Speaker 2 (02:12:05):
Are they raising those ducks to eventually eat them themselves?
I don't know. Are they future food? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:12:13):
But I also know that they sell duck breast in
every single grocery store, and there's like twelve of them
in the Dina. Now go buy some.

Speaker 2 (02:12:26):
What do you see when a duck bends over? It's
not quack.

Speaker 12 (02:12:33):
Maybe you should release thirty to fifty faral hogs into
your backyard.

Speaker 2 (02:12:39):
See what happens there.

Speaker 29 (02:12:41):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (02:12:43):
I'm just saying, there's a lot of room to play
with this duck situation.

Speaker 15 (02:12:47):
There is.

Speaker 3 (02:12:48):
See you're again, you said it yesterday or day before.
You are first and foremost an optimist. I'm looking at
the negative.

Speaker 10 (02:12:55):
I know.

Speaker 2 (02:12:56):
I'm just saying there's no downside to being an optimist.

Speaker 15 (02:12:59):
Right.

Speaker 12 (02:12:59):
If you go in thinking this is gonna work. When
it doesn't, you go, okay, let's go on to the
next thing. Then let's figure out something else.

Speaker 3 (02:13:05):
If I went and just did, I should dress up
in like a leisure suit and just go do five
minutes with the ducks, it'd be great. And imagine they
just stop, like I'm that bad that they just stop laughing,
like the quacking just ends.

Speaker 2 (02:13:18):
That's the way they can keep them at base to
tell them bad jokes. And that's ultimately what you want.
But then I have to go do stand up for ducks.

Speaker 8 (02:13:26):
Yeah, but.

Speaker 10 (02:13:31):
Tire out everybody.

Speaker 4 (02:13:33):
Hey, go out, hey duck. Couple of egg plans for
the night out. Now they didn't image like that one.

Speaker 2 (02:13:55):
Hey the duck wants to the doctor when the doctor
tell them you're fat, you know, perfect pillow health.

Speaker 4 (02:14:07):
I'm you guys, like, I'll tell you what. I've been
on the road for a while here. What do you
call a successful duck? A wattle citizen?

Speaker 2 (02:14:18):
That's my tim I'll be back tomorrow. I'll be back tomorrow,
same time, same duck channel.

Speaker 16 (02:14:29):
Thank you.

Speaker 7 (02:14:30):
Yeah, the comedic silence rob affery, but duck.

Speaker 2 (02:14:37):
Comenium and he's a duck, but the ducks love him.
The Allen Cox Show on one hundred point.

Speaker 15 (02:14:47):
All our Men and Women in Uniform.

Speaker 1 (02:14:49):
I've been a lifelong fan twenty years of military.

Speaker 4 (02:14:52):
Come back.

Speaker 2 (02:14:53):
Find your Afternoons show is horrible Thanks from The Allen
Cox Show.

Speaker 11 (02:14:59):
Horrible on one hundred point SEVENMMS.

Speaker 12 (02:15:03):
I had a real weird transition from Sunday into Monday,
and I don't know why. Usually when Sunday hits, I'm
getting myself in show mode, except this Sunday was literally
one of those days.

Speaker 2 (02:15:15):
I didn't do a frigging thing, and I wish that
it had been awesome. I would love to tell you
that it was awesome, and it just wasn't. Uh So
maybe that threw me off. I don't know. So you
really are one of those people that has to always
be doing something.

Speaker 12 (02:15:32):
I mean, I'm not sitting there vibrating, but it's like,
days are long, man when you're not. I don't understand.
I don't know these people who have nothing to do
and all day to do it. I'm like, how you're
looking at one. Do you do nothing all day?

Speaker 7 (02:15:50):
All day?

Speaker 2 (02:15:51):
Love to have more of those days? Those are long days? Lovely?

Speaker 3 (02:15:56):
Well, what do you do. I want whatever I want
TV all day and Crank went out me. If it's
just me, Oh dude, I will I will do nothing. Yeah,
all right, I will do once in a while. I'll
be like, hey, I'm going to the movies. All right,

(02:16:16):
I'll go to the movies by myself.

Speaker 2 (02:16:18):
That's fine. But that's like two hours and I'm like, okay,
I'm back outside now.

Speaker 8 (02:16:25):
I got it.

Speaker 3 (02:16:26):
Watch all the Superman movies and then go see Superman.
I do need to go see Superman. See that's gonna
kill a whole day. Watch all the Christopher Reeve ones,
and then watch uh uh.

Speaker 2 (02:16:38):
No, because I'm gonna get bored halfway through the first one.
He'll be like, Okay, you know what I mean. Listen.
I didn't.

Speaker 12 (02:16:43):
I didn't say it was easy. I'm not this is
I wasn't looking for an easy solution. I'm just saying
that I don't even consider it a problem.

Speaker 16 (02:16:52):
Here.

Speaker 3 (02:16:52):
You go, go watch Superman twice in the movies, watch
it back to back, go out, have a little popcorn,
take it up, go back in, watch it again.

Speaker 2 (02:17:01):
You ever snuck into a movie as an adult? Never?
I never snuck in as a kid. I did one time.

Speaker 12 (02:17:06):
As a kid, I rode into the drive in in
my buddy's trunk to see RoboCop because I wasn't of
age to see RoboCop yet.

Speaker 2 (02:17:18):
Really wanted to see it.

Speaker 10 (02:17:20):
I know.

Speaker 12 (02:17:20):
I wasn't like a big rule breaker either. I wasn't
a kid sneaking into movies. But back in the day,
and I think we've come full circle. You really can.
Now you can go kicking in the bathroom until the
next movie shows up and you go in. You know,
it was a lot easier before there were people were
buying a sign to seats. Sure, but a lot of
movies there's plenty of empty seats and nobody's gonna step
to you and go that's my seat. And if they

(02:17:42):
do move right, let me go to another seat or
sit closer to the theater. Because I don't even know
why they bothered putting that row in there. Nobody ever
sits in that front.

Speaker 2 (02:17:50):
Row of seats. Well, yeah, why do you want to
sit in the front row? So I'm saying, yeah, they
put the recliners there, and I'm just stop, take those
ten and chairs out and move them back. Build I
don't do something, I'll.

Speaker 16 (02:18:01):
Tell you what I do.

Speaker 2 (02:18:01):
I sit in the handicap see and then somebody comes
up to me and they go, hey, you're not a handicap.
They go, yeah, I am. I'm sign blind. You don't
know what I can and can't see. I don't know
what symbols mean. That's my handicap. I can't read. No,
of course I won't do that. I'm a back row
guy at the movie. Yeah, I've never ever snuck it out.

(02:18:24):
We had the greatest seats for Superman because I bought.
I like went until I found a date that I
could get seats. I wanted those like dead in the middle.

Speaker 12 (02:18:32):
So they tell you, they go your fix seats, they go,
that's where the sound engineers sit to mix movies.

Speaker 13 (02:18:36):
Yep.

Speaker 12 (02:18:37):
So they're like, if you want the best experience, sit
in the middle of the theater, which makes we're in
the audio industry, we know that.

Speaker 2 (02:18:43):
Yeah, I just don't want to sit in the middle
of the theater. I don't like people behind me. I
get it. I'm just telling you, Yeah, parked it. It
was fantastic, right hmmmmmm. Alan, I'm retired. I've taken up
growing legal weed. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. I mean,

(02:19:04):
oh good, it's for you.

Speaker 12 (02:19:05):
You're not retired, not retired, practice your drums. Somebody said,
I'd love to they're stacked, put them together.

Speaker 2 (02:19:14):
I don't have room in my house. I'd love to.

Speaker 12 (02:19:18):
I'm always like, I'm just gonna pay for a space
and I'm gonna put him in there. What then I'm
gonna be like, see you later. I'm gonna go play.
You know, I'm never home as it is.

Speaker 2 (02:19:27):
Do you have a shed?

Speaker 12 (02:19:28):
I got a shed, but it's full of crap. Yeah,
then I gonna soundproof it. I mean that is wildly
expensive by a shed. Sound proof it? Yeah, and even
that's never one hundred percent. So what the neighbors are
gonna be flipping out, because come on, they aren't gonna
flip out. If you're good, they'll enjoy it. It doesn't matter.
Nobody who doesn't play the drums enjoys listening to the drums.

Speaker 2 (02:19:51):
This is your neighbor. Play the drums. A loud volume, says,
come on, enjoy it. Sound familiar. He found a rat
in his floortime. Sound familiar.

Speaker 4 (02:20:05):
Have you been called a cheap jew at work?

Speaker 12 (02:20:07):
Called the law office of because you wouldn't buy a
new shed?

Speaker 2 (02:20:11):
Yeah, she'll represent your neighbors. My client, a.

Speaker 14 (02:20:16):
Female machinist, complained about not being paid for overtime, and
when she came to work the next day she found
a rat in her toolbox.

Speaker 2 (02:20:25):
Does this sound familiar? Call the law office of Lindy
corn All.

Speaker 12 (02:20:30):
And I just turned the show on YouTube and was
not prepared to see Rob's beard. Yeah, he's giving Chris
Chris gaines vibes. Yeah in reverse. Yeah, it's something. Yeah, Alan,
Back when the Memphis drive in was open, the train

(02:20:51):
tracks ran alongside it. We walked down to the tracks,
bring a radio, tune it in underneath the screen, smoke
weed and sit on chairs and watch movies. Yeah, that's
some great old school fun. Yeah, nobody's doing that anymore. No,
they just sneak into movies now.

Speaker 16 (02:21:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:21:09):
But my kids so much like me in that way,
like they I'm not gonna say where, but there is
a movie theater in the area where it is almost.

Speaker 2 (02:21:21):
No one that goes pays auto rama. My daughter was
basically she goes, Dad, like everybody just walks in. And
I said, you're buying a ticket, Kaitlyn, But Dad, everybody
just I said, Kaitlyn, I already bought it, so just
show them your phone if they ask. Nobody asks. Everybody
else walks in. She's like, why do you have to
do this?

Speaker 17 (02:21:41):
Why?

Speaker 2 (02:21:41):
Because, I said, because we're honest.

Speaker 12 (02:21:43):
Also, if they go out of business because nobody's buying tickets,
there's nowhere to go anymore. And this place looks like
it's been out of business for twenty Well, they all do. Yeah,
I mean they're all hanging on by a thread. But
not that one at Strongsville. Man, I went to that
that drive in. No the the movie theater.

Speaker 2 (02:22:00):
I was thinking drive ins. Oh no, no, no, no, no,
go to the Auto Rama once a season.

Speaker 3 (02:22:05):
I'm talking about just a regular movie theater. Yeah, yeah,
out near us and it's yeah, everybody always walks in. Yeah, Like, yeah,
don't do that.

Speaker 12 (02:22:13):
It's wild to me and not everybody obviously has this memory.
You got to be a gen X or they used
to show X rated movies at drive ins and so
back in the day, if you were like driving alongside
you know, like the road that was adjacent to the
drive in, you could see boobs.

Speaker 2 (02:22:31):
Really. Yes, I didn't know this place where I grew up,
they did.

Speaker 12 (02:22:34):
I mean they were kind of out there but I
distinctly remember as a kid driving by and seeing boobs.

Speaker 2 (02:22:40):
One hundred and twenty foot dogs screaming across the screen.

Speaker 12 (02:22:43):
Yeah wow, I might be Mandela affecting myself on that,
but I remember being on a road as a kid
adjacent to a drive in near us and seeing boobs.

Speaker 2 (02:22:55):
Listen, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (02:22:56):
I don't think anything is off of the table. I
think everything probably happened at one point. You just throw
a little porno up there, why not? You know, maybe
it was Porky's. Maybe like you were driving by Porky's
was playing or Revenge of the Nerds?

Speaker 12 (02:23:09):
Oh early Kim Cotrell and Porky hatcha hatcha.

Speaker 2 (02:23:14):
And and uh uh she no, she wasn't in Revenge
of the Nerds. Who was the lead in Revenge of
the Nerds. Not Leah Thompson, No, it was It was
just the one that what was her name?

Speaker 12 (02:23:27):
That's my pie, the blonde. I don't know, Betty Childs. Yes,
Julia Montgomery is the actress.

Speaker 2 (02:23:37):
That's her name. Okay, she was the lead, like cheerleader,
Alan be a man and start fixing things. I already did.
That's the point. Everything in my house is fixed everything's
been installed, everything's fixed. I don't have anything to tinker with.
Well you think I don't know that. Of course I
know that. That's what I love to do. I'm walking
around my house. What can I do? What can I do? Nothing?

Speaker 12 (02:23:58):
I already did it. I'm a victim of my own success.
Rob Man, you can need a hobby puzzle. If I
had a room for my drums, that would be my hobby.
Get a puzzle, a puzzle.

Speaker 2 (02:24:10):
Why don't I just hang my cell I don't know
by one of those pain in the ass coloring books
that take like seven years to.

Speaker 12 (02:24:16):
Throw a belt over the shower curtain. Rod put myself
out of my misery. Bruce backs you up in the
live chat.

Speaker 3 (02:24:23):
By the way, porn at the drive in a staple
of my childhood growing up in Westmoreland County in Pennsylvania.

Speaker 12 (02:24:28):
Yes, Westmoreland County. Alan's got two sheds, one for the
drums and one for the tools.

Speaker 15 (02:24:34):
I got.

Speaker 9 (02:24:34):
That's a good ideas I got.

Speaker 2 (02:24:58):
Just trying to help Alan. I do appreciate it. This
is why I bear my soul to this unforgiving crowd.

Speaker 26 (02:25:06):
Hey, dude, speaking of farts, I thought you might get
a little kick out of this incident at work. I'm
a phlebotomis, and as you can imagine, most people are
not stoked to get in my chair. I had a
poor little kid in my chair practically shrimp in himself
with fear.

Speaker 2 (02:25:20):
So I looked at him. I go, all right, buddy,
I need to answer me totally honestly.

Speaker 20 (02:25:24):
Here.

Speaker 2 (02:25:24):
Do you think farts are funny? He said yes? So
I sang, you thought it so hard?

Speaker 10 (02:25:31):
He died.

Speaker 1 (02:25:32):
Dude didn't even know.

Speaker 2 (02:25:33):
I poked up. Look at that. How about God, We're
solve the power of the farts so hard?

Speaker 12 (02:25:42):
You know, a lot of our customers had some real
thoughts on whether or not those Brazilian nuns actually groom,
whether or not Brazilian nuns have Brazilians the bush nun
or the nun bush experts Yeah, nun bush yeah, soon
to be sued by the line of footwear, allan, most
nuns have landing strips. How do you anyone know that

(02:26:06):
I went to Catholic school K through twelve.

Speaker 2 (02:26:10):
I never got no.

Speaker 12 (02:26:11):
This is obviously not a conversation you're going to have
with the nun contingent in your school. I didn't even
want to look them in the eyes for fear of
getting reprimanded for something I didn't realize I did. But
we had a couple of young nuns, I assume, right,
my Catholic high school, and again I was class of

(02:26:31):
nineteen eighty nine, right, I'm not seventy years old. But
our nuns still had the full habit. I don't know why,
they just did which one around the face. Which habit
was smoking? Smoking was a big one. Yeah, and our
nuns still I have to think that in the late
eighties we were on the tail end of this, and

(02:26:52):
there were probably other parochial schools that did not do this.
But for whatever reason, my school still had the nuns
in the full habit, and they still took men's names,
because the church is one giant, useless patriarchy, right in
the truest sense, but they still had the full face habit.

(02:27:13):
So the principal was Sister Anthony, and my English teacher
was Sister John. And we had a young nun, I assume,
because when they have you known see their hair. You know,
she just had a smoother face than some of the
other nuns, and so I inferred that she was younger,
and she mostly spoke Italian, Like when she would grade

(02:27:34):
our papers, she would leave us comments on the on
top in Italian.

Speaker 2 (02:27:39):
Jesus, Yeah, and so we had to learn a little
bit there whatever.

Speaker 12 (02:27:45):
But you know, when I'm in high school, I'm like, Okay,
this girl could either be twenty two or forty five,
I can't tell.

Speaker 10 (02:27:53):
But she was cute.

Speaker 2 (02:27:55):
And she would have been the only one that I
would have won if I had had the moxie. What
I wish you got going on down there?

Speaker 12 (02:28:04):
Yeah, you know, I mean you didn't even at least
for me, because I you know, even in high school,
I was still very Catholic. I was still towing the line,
and it wouldn't have even crossed my mind to think
of her in that way. But ironically, she was probably
the best looking teacher I had. We had plenty of
lay teachers. It wasn't like they're all nuns. When I

(02:28:24):
was in high school, plenty of lay teachers, most of
them were. But the cutest teacher I had was this
young nun. And so that's who I think of her, Like,
I wonder if they as I think back to her,
the landing strip doesn't seem like nothing's landing.

Speaker 2 (02:28:43):
Yeah, but do you do it.

Speaker 12 (02:28:44):
You know, somebody else said, I would think that nuns
in South America would shave just to the because of
the humidity and the habit, because of the you know,
you get down there and.

Speaker 2 (02:28:57):
I have to assume.

Speaker 16 (02:28:58):
Man, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:29:00):
Maybe you know, they were young women before they were nuns,
so maybe they got used to shaving it. I don't know.
It just seems that would be a uh interesting study.
Could we study the grooming habits of nuns? Of nuns?

(02:29:20):
We're studying every other goddamn thing. Sure we could. Somebody
else studied, Hey, heaven sucks before bed makes it tired? Cool?

Speaker 12 (02:29:27):
Thanks, I think we could probably. Now there's there's no
payoff for that. There's literally no reason to know that
it's intrusive. But just as a thought experiment, I wonder,
because would it fall under like you know, you take
a what you clearly take a vout chastity. You're a
bride of Christ, yes, and he doesn't like a stepping

(02:29:50):
out on him. He's a very jealous guy. Well that's
the old guy, not the young one. Any who does
it fall under like you? They wouldn't do it because
it's considered self centered. I don't know, but your body
is also a temple, so aren't you trying to take
care of it?

Speaker 3 (02:30:10):
Well, if that's the case, though, you have to celebrate
every part of it. You don't want to take anything off.

Speaker 12 (02:30:14):
Armpit hair, leg hair, Oh I should mean, oh, well,
they might be rocking all of it.

Speaker 21 (02:30:19):
I don't know.

Speaker 12 (02:30:23):
Alan Rob might be right about him not being able
to travel a lot of times with those leg injuries.

Speaker 2 (02:30:27):
You can get blood cloths from flying. That's probably what
it is.

Speaker 12 (02:30:30):
Then, Okay, Doude, I shattered my heel jumping off swings
in elementary school, and boy it's sucked. Yeah, elm, the
landing strip is largely died out. Ladies aren't trimming the
hedges anymore. They're nuking it from orbit. Well it's the

(02:30:51):
only way to be sure. Uh yeah, but I don't know,
don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:31:00):
All they talk about is their head hair.

Speaker 12 (02:31:04):
Because you know, listen, clergy around the world, clergy of
any organized religion, are in a real bad spot right
now with respect to newbies coming in. You're just not
getting as many people signing up to be a bride
of Christ.

Speaker 2 (02:31:21):
Or a priest for that matter.

Speaker 12 (02:31:23):
Male clergy as there once were, and there are a
lot of different reasons for that, right, the world's different.
A lot of people have, you know, come to the
conclusion that obviously these religious institutions are increasingly irrelevant, which
they are, but none of that has anything to do
with the grooming habits. There are priests with mustaches, and again,

(02:31:46):
I know it's patriarchal, it's geared to the guys.

Speaker 2 (02:31:50):
But also nobody would know if you were a nun
and you took it all down to the studs.

Speaker 12 (02:31:57):
Yeah, would nobody would know nobody, but you would know Jesus,
they're not changed. Well, they're not changing in gym class
and doing thing. I mean, to the best of my knowledge,
I'm going with it. They can't. I'm going with it.

Speaker 2 (02:32:09):
Has to be like you don't do that. That's gonna
be my guess. I don't know. I'm gonna ask one
and then I will go immediately to hell.

Speaker 12 (02:32:20):
And I'm retired military who spent a lot of time
in South South America. The most Brazilian girls have bush
and a strip.

Speaker 2 (02:32:29):
Bush and and strip.

Speaker 28 (02:32:32):
You can take me, but you cannot take.

Speaker 2 (02:32:34):
My boohold me. Well that's the traditional Brazilian Uh huh.
You ever gotten a Brazilian me. Yeah, of course not.

Speaker 4 (02:32:42):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:32:42):
I got one as a goof years ago, A well
on a dare to do it on the air, I did, Okay,
well then now okay, I'll give you that. Then that's funny.

Speaker 3 (02:32:51):
Yeah, that's pretty I mean did you go like, legs up,
oh yeah, yeah, Oh my god, yeah, sack to crack huh.

Speaker 2 (02:32:59):
Sure it has to hurt. Huh yank and hair off
of your taint. Oh my god. I do feel great now.

Speaker 12 (02:33:07):
I am already a guy who has always grooms to
begin with, so it's not like they really. This was
not Steve Carell getting his chest waxed, right, okay, but
it don't feel great.

Speaker 2 (02:33:21):
Well, you have to grow it out to to do well.

Speaker 12 (02:33:23):
And yeah, and you gotta constantly do it. Was the
It was the growing back. But I would recommend it
at least once to anyone. No, it is cultural appropriation.
I will ever do that, tell you. I will say that, Alan,

(02:33:45):
I bet the nuns don't shave because they don't have to,
because it's a real pain.

Speaker 2 (02:33:50):
Okay.

Speaker 12 (02:33:51):
By the way, when I say grooming, that's all I mean,
I mean it's again, you can think of it as
getting it down to the studs. But I'm just say
grooming like, not letting the flora go crazy, you know
what I mean. And every time I've fallen down the stairs,

(02:34:14):
luckily I've had my shoes on. Yeah, well, yeah, I
guess that's lucky. But every time you've fallen down.

Speaker 4 (02:34:22):
The stair, how often are you falling.

Speaker 2 (02:34:24):
Down the stairs? Hey, I'm in the basement. Oh god,
damn it, another set of stairs.

Speaker 23 (02:34:33):
You're never gonna believe this. Now I'm in the sub basement. Now,
somehow I fell up. I fell up the stairs. Oh
now I'm in the down damn it. How I've fallen

(02:34:54):
down again?

Speaker 2 (02:34:56):
Out of breath?

Speaker 27 (02:35:03):
Oh no, no, get the wind knocked out of me,
the wind knocked out him. Oh I'm so tired.

Speaker 2 (02:35:13):
I just had sex.

Speaker 4 (02:35:15):
I want to go to sleep.

Speaker 1 (02:35:15):
Now.

Speaker 2 (02:35:18):
I'll be down here if you need me, down here
in the sub basement. Oh, Lee Allen Cock Show, WMMS, Cleveland.

Speaker 20 (02:35:33):
Remember our devices are always listening to us.

Speaker 11 (02:35:38):
We are, so if you start to see ads for
squeezy salads and wiener milk, you.

Speaker 15 (02:35:44):
Know who to blame.

Speaker 2 (02:35:46):
Clee Allen Cock Show, WMMS.

Speaker 12 (02:35:49):
The email from Adam and we were talking the other day.
I didn't even know how we got on it. Oh
about the woman who threw the hot grease and somebody
she was working at the She's working at a burger
king or something, and she got in trouble because she
was the manager of the place, and she got in
trouble because she threw a giant thing of hot grease
in like a customer's face. And then our conversation kind

(02:36:12):
of devolved into people quitting their jobs at fast food
joints and just doing horrible, horrible things.

Speaker 2 (02:36:18):
On the way out.

Speaker 12 (02:36:20):
And Adam wrote me an email just titled fecal fiasco.
So that's how I know it's gunning hood when that's
the subject line. And he's like, I worked at Starbucks
and then I worked at a location that was one
door over from a large cellular company, and one of

(02:36:41):
their salespeople came over and asked if we had any
cleaning supplies despair, And turns out that in their cell
phone store they had a customer asked them where their
bathroom was.

Speaker 2 (02:36:54):
And then some time later, calmly came out and.

Speaker 12 (02:36:58):
Donald ducked it right up to the door right that
just pants down and this and this is a cell
phone store.

Speaker 2 (02:37:04):
This is not a restaurant.

Speaker 12 (02:37:05):
This is not something where you know, maybe something you
just ate from them is hitting you in a weird way.
And so they come over to his Starbucks location, go,
do you guys have any cleaning supplies, because we have
a guy who has just destroyed our bathroom and then
apparently used his pants and undergarments to try to clean up.

(02:37:27):
So that's why he like ends up walking out again.
We're just you know, working retail is a situation unto
itself if you've ever worked that kind of job, and
obviously he takes different forms. Starbucks is different than if
you're standing there in a cell phone store. I maybe
somebody who works in that industry can tell me. I

(02:37:47):
still don't realize why they're still building brick and mortar
cell phone stores.

Speaker 2 (02:37:52):
I don't know why.

Speaker 12 (02:37:53):
Maybe there are a lot of people who don't want
to do those transactions online. I'm not sure, but every
time I see something going up, it's a cell phone store,
and I genuinely don't understand. But this guy destroyed their bathroom,
and so he's like at our Starbucks, we just gave
them like trash bags and rolls of towels, and we
gave him a jug of bleach and said, don't worry

(02:38:14):
about bringing any of this back, by the way, And
so Adam has had a few jobs where that happened.
I also worked at a fancy, little Eastside restaurant where
the owner would brag about being friends with all the
local muckety MUCKs. And one guy asked for a salad

(02:38:34):
that we told him wasn't available, and the guy went
to the bathroom or something, and that didn't end well either.
This guy boy, maybe he's just some kind of Maybe
he's just some kind of magnet for these gastro intestinal
issues that people have.

Speaker 3 (02:38:52):
I never understand how people miss like I've never missed. Yeah,
maybe you have a bad aim. If you're standing up
taking a leak, how do you miss sitting?

Speaker 2 (02:39:03):
I don't know. It's got to be something more complicated
than that, right, It's got to be something that.

Speaker 12 (02:39:07):
And I'm sure that there are people who have chronic
conditions and they're like, well, I can't live a life
where I'm just confined to my house where I'm home
bound because of this. I want to get out and
live a life too. I want to be out among
the people. Sure, and so you go to a store
and then you go oops. But you're just you know,
you never know who these people are. They walk among us,

(02:39:28):
and at any moment you can be you can be
subjected to their problems. You can be held hostage by
a bathroom that has just been destroyed.

Speaker 2 (02:39:39):
I walked in on one one time. I wasn't working there.

Speaker 12 (02:39:42):
This was when I was living in Chicago, and there's
a local grocery store chain called Jewel and I was
doing my grocery shopping and their bathroom some was hit
me and I go, oh, I'm gonna use a bathroom.
And it was just one of those big single room deals.
There wasn't a multi stall situation, one big single room thing.
But the door locked and it was fine, and it
was the greeting card aisle, and there was somebody in

(02:40:03):
there because the one door was locked. And so I'm
standing there and I'm just kind of killing time and
I'm perusing the greeting cards, and then I hear the
door open and this person got out quickly, like you
know how you would try to slink your way out
of a door if you didn't want anybody to see
in your room, or like when you were sneaking out
of somebody's dorm room in college, whatever it was, that's
kind of what this person was doing. And I didn't
really think anything of it until I went over and

(02:40:26):
then opened the door, and it looked like the last
five minutes of.

Speaker 2 (02:40:30):
The movie Saw, remember the original Saw movie.

Speaker 12 (02:40:34):
And I just kind of did the thing where I
opened the door and looked, and then I just shut
it back and literally walked backward, retraced my steps backward,
and went up to the I had because I had
a full cart, and went up to the customer service
desk before I checked out, and I said, hey, you've
got a problem back there in the bathroom, and she

(02:40:57):
was like, she just kind of gave me this look.
And you know, because you contend with homeless people and
things like that, you didn't walk right in. But that
didn't look like what this guy was who walked out
like he was well dressed but had had some kind
of issue. I always so I I realized in that
moment that I had just ruined to this woman's day
because she was probably gonna have to at the very
least she had to go inspect it.

Speaker 3 (02:41:18):
I always worry that telling someone makes them think you
just did it like I did it here, because I mean, listen,
this this place, we've seen our fair share of bathroom
destruction terrible. And I've gone to like the security person
have been like, hey man, just gonna let you know.
It starts on the floor and works its way up
the wall and and and I feel like they look
at me, like the.

Speaker 2 (02:41:40):
Works its way up the wall now.

Speaker 12 (02:41:42):
But I don't think if you tell them, I mean, yeah,
but that's the perfect excuse if you.

Speaker 2 (02:41:46):
Did do it.

Speaker 12 (02:41:47):
I know, but I think I think if I think
most people, if they did do it, they'd say stoe.

Speaker 2 (02:41:51):
They would they wouldn't say anything. Did I ever tell
you my uh my McDonald's story. No, We went and
bought illegal fireworks, and I was in Rhode Island. We
drove up to New Hampshire where they're legal, right, and
you can buy those big like you know, blow your
head off type fireworks, big giant jectiles. So we loaded
up this suv with it.

Speaker 3 (02:42:11):
I mean, we bought a ton of fireworks and we're
driving back and I'm like, hey, guys, can we stop
at that McDonalds. I have to hit the bathroom the
middle of nowhere, New Hampshire but they got a brand
new McDonald's.

Speaker 2 (02:42:21):
And I'm like, this is great. I go in, I
can have a nice sit. Get what I gotta get
to follow it? Not at all. So I walk in,
I do my thing, and I'm walking out and I
slip and I'm like what. I looked down and I
stepped on a turd, dude, right then, right there. I
walked over to the sink. I took my shoes off.

(02:42:43):
I threw them in the trash. I brand I had
just bought a brand new paranikes. I can tell you
exactly what they look like.

Speaker 26 (02:42:49):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (02:42:49):
I threw them in the trash. I walked out barefoot.
I got in the car. I had socks on.

Speaker 2 (02:42:54):
I got in the car.

Speaker 3 (02:42:55):
I threw my socks out the window and we started driving.
My buddy's like, what the hell just happened?

Speaker 2 (02:42:59):
And I said, I just.

Speaker 3 (02:43:00):
Stepped in human crap. Yeah, in a brand new McDonald's.

Speaker 8 (02:43:04):
It's over.

Speaker 2 (02:43:05):
He's like, why did you just he' said you just
bought those Why didn't you clean them? I'm like, there's
no cleaning that, and no, there was. It's impossible for
me to ever clean those shoes.

Speaker 8 (02:43:13):
It's over.

Speaker 2 (02:43:14):
They're gone. Yep. It's a complete and total loss.

Speaker 12 (02:43:18):
All right, I'm gonna call my insurance company and I'm
gonna have them total it up.

Speaker 2 (02:43:21):
I look good in them for a day.

Speaker 15 (02:43:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (02:43:24):
We were coming back from and then I will take
a break here. Not to beliebor this point, because since
we're on a roll. We were coming back from Louisll, Kentucky.
Uh probably Halloween of twenty twenty three. We had gone
for some big pumpkin thing and took our daughter whatever,
and on the way back, it's a long trip. On
the way back, we had pulled over to get some
gas and there was one of those big convenience stores

(02:43:44):
with a subway in it, sandwich place, so they have
a bathroom, and so my wife and daughter were going
into the ladies. I was going into the men's and
as I opened again, I opened the door and the
men's and it was as though somebody had pulled a
prank and they were like, Hey, we're gonna renovate this bathroom,
but we're going to paint it with poop. We're going

(02:44:05):
to like it was an HGTV show. Hey, we're out
of paint, so we're just gonna use poop. Use brown
textured paint and literally to the point where like I
stood outside and waited for my wife and child to
finish what they were doing, and I go, Kime, here,
come here, come here, come here, because I knew my
daughter was gonna flip her shrimp, you gonna her wig

(02:44:26):
was gonna fly off. And I opened the door and
my daughter's just standing there like aghast, like she doesn't
know what she's looking at. And she's like what, I go,
that is exactly what you think it is. Somebody has
gone in here. And then as we're walking out, you know,
as the belding's on the door, I look at the
guy behind the counter subway and I go, you got.

Speaker 2 (02:44:43):
A real problem back there, and you better go check
it out.

Speaker 12 (02:44:47):
And hey, liberal on the fixens all right, next time
I come and get a foot long from the norm
who's one of our listeners in Detroit. He goes, look
what I was just reading as you were talking about
this tis is the name of the company. What they
used to be GM or they merged like some automakers.

Speaker 2 (02:45:05):
I think it was Jeep, right, is that what it was?

Speaker 12 (02:45:08):
Okay, Well it's called Stilantis now and they have a
plant in Cocomo, Indiana, and somebody destroyed one of their bathrooms,
and Stilanta says they're not going to pay for it.
They are going to keep that bathroom closed while they
mount an investigation. And so imagine you got to hope

(02:45:32):
there's the like green air creeping out from underneath that,
you know, as the bathroom begins.

Speaker 2 (02:45:37):
To you know, cake and an investigation.

Speaker 12 (02:45:41):
Well, but this also, i'll read it to you as
it's written in this article in the Detroit Free Press.
But also this sounds like something that was very specifically done.
This doesn't sound like oops all turns.

Speaker 2 (02:45:55):
You know, one of those. This sounds like something that
was you know, maybe.

Speaker 12 (02:45:58):
It was someone's last day, maybe somebody had a non
productive UAW meeting.

Speaker 2 (02:46:03):
I don't know what it was at.

Speaker 12 (02:46:06):
The mess included wiping a feces on the bathroom walls,
all over the disability handlebars, all over the door latches
and sinks, and leaving quote piles on the floor. This
is in Kocomo, Indiana, a Stilantis there, and so obviously
the people in charge are like, why why would anybody?

(02:46:31):
It's disgusting and it's careless and it's awful, and obviously
and so Stilantis is like, well, we're not going to
pay to have this cleaned until we know exactly what happened. Now,
that's kind of you know, the law of unintended consequences
there means the people who work there are going to
end up cleaning it.

Speaker 2 (02:46:47):
They're not going to wait for this to get investigated.

Speaker 12 (02:46:52):
The company's planet is to lock the bathrooms found in
the quote grotesque state. That's no way to refer to Michigan,
rather than having them cleaned and returned to service right away.
You know, cleaning crews. We've got some very efficient cleaning
crews here at six six eight euclids, some very nice women.

(02:47:13):
At least I know we have multiple teams, but I'm
only familiar with the women and men who are here
in the morning when I'm here and uh boy, there.
It really goes beyond just like oh, they're out of
paper towels. There are some terrible situations that these people
are walking into.

Speaker 3 (02:47:32):
It was so bad that one that was here for
a long time. Do you remember she just quit. She
was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. Yes, Well,
well it was so bad. I was like, I'm done.

Speaker 12 (02:47:40):
I never got I didn't understand that that's why she left.
I just thought there's a little bit of a revolving
door in that in that team.

Speaker 3 (02:47:48):
No, she told us it was a realific incident. She
went in and she was like, yeah, she just put
out of order, and she's like, I'm out. She walked,
can't do it anymore. Yeah, I mean, when you start
looking for a hose instead of cleaning supplies, you gotta
just be like them out and gone.

Speaker 2 (02:48:01):
Yeah, this is I don't know if I have a
length of hose that'll stretch from the slop sink all
the way to this third stall. Man.

Speaker 12 (02:48:08):
Well, because we have a restaurant right here on the
ground floor, and so you know, like you know, there's
always some kind of game day or some kind of
downtown situation and those people get drunk, they eat too
much whatever.

Speaker 3 (02:48:20):
And it's like, man, and it's and they're like, well,
it's it's it's it's only the restaurant and your space
using it. And I'm like, but all you have to
do is go into the restaurant and then you can
use that bathroom. So even if some mu's walking by
to go to a Browns game, it's a warm bathroom
as well, sometimes it's one.

Speaker 2 (02:48:37):
Sometimes it is Hey, Brett, how are you doing. What's
going on? Brett?

Speaker 8 (02:48:43):
Oh not much?

Speaker 18 (02:48:45):
Didn't I like talk still that's on your show. But yeah,
I had a girlfriend, and yeah I had a girlfriend
in high school. It was prom day and she pulled,
like the lima pulled up and we were walking out.
I had five dogs as a kid, so there's a
lot of you know, pieces everywhere. So we're taking pictures.
She turns around to get in the car. She slips
false face first into a pile of dog crap.

Speaker 2 (02:49:07):
This was at your house before the limo pulled out. Yeah, no,
so the limo just pulled in.

Speaker 18 (02:49:12):
We're taking pictures in front of the limo and then yeah,
she pulls, turns around and faceful.

Speaker 2 (02:49:18):
These were large dogs, I have to assume read like
great Danes or something.

Speaker 18 (02:49:22):
Yeah, we had three boxers and like a big, like
a big one hundred and fifty pound dogs.

Speaker 2 (02:49:28):
So a little small matter, you know, And now it's
like a pony you're riding around.

Speaker 12 (02:49:33):
So I assumed she was a heels in the whole
traditional prom regalitator.

Speaker 18 (02:49:37):
Yeah no, pun intended. I dumped her after that, and
then I did end up taking her best friend to
prom Wait.

Speaker 12 (02:49:43):
Wait wait wait wait wait wait a second way, stop
the clock, wait a second. So she threw no fold
of her own slips in poop and what at your house?

Speaker 2 (02:49:55):
It's prom night?

Speaker 18 (02:49:56):
What do you mean you dumped her and took her friend? Yea,
her friend was there too as a third wheel. So
I was just like, oh, you know, I think you
should go home. And then I took her friend.

Speaker 12 (02:50:06):
I think you should go home, and you took her friend?
But why was her friend third wheeling PROMP? That means
that she thought something terrible was going to happen to
her friend with you, Brett.

Speaker 18 (02:50:17):
I'm not sure, but uh, she had no friends, no
one to take with her, so she was trying to
be nice and brought her friend along.

Speaker 2 (02:50:22):
And then yeah, I ultimate understudy. Boy, you talk about
a wing woman? Hey, dude, tell me, did the cameras
keep rolling? Like somewhere in your files do you have
a photograph of this woman face first and a big turd?

Speaker 18 (02:50:38):
My mom might because she was she had like a
big old cannon camera. She was just taking snap after
snap second reels.

Speaker 2 (02:50:44):
So it was like, what's so good?

Speaker 3 (02:50:46):
Like you don't stop at that point like, if that
incident happens while you're taking photos, you keep snapping.

Speaker 2 (02:50:51):
But how did she get home?

Speaker 8 (02:50:52):
It was terrible. This guy mom was there, they lived
about like they lived.

Speaker 2 (02:50:57):
About like five minutes away. So my dad closed her
off with the water hose. No, so she's in her dress.

Speaker 12 (02:51:06):
It was all on her and so well, yeah, of course,
so she gets taken home, you take her friend prom
and then then what's the aftermath of that?

Speaker 2 (02:51:16):
You place a call to her the next day to
check on her.

Speaker 18 (02:51:19):
Uh No, the next day was so prom was on
a Thursday night for some reason, next day with school,
so it was pretty awkward.

Speaker 12 (02:51:26):
Wait, what the hell kind of universe prom on a
Thursday night? What does your school have ten people in
it Thursday night?

Speaker 18 (02:51:33):
And then everybody private a weird private school, so we
had to wear like uniforms and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (02:51:39):
So okay kids eight thirty times. Wow, Well, maybe slipping
and crap was the best thing that happened to her.
Then she didn't have to go to this crazy Thursday
night prom. And then everybody's back at school the next day. Wow,
she's telling everybody how she slipped and pooper? Did she
just take that Friday off.

Speaker 18 (02:52:00):
She was there, but I don't she wasn't talking much.
I don't think she story was this here in Ohio?
Pretty embarrassing? No, I'm actually from Michigan.

Speaker 2 (02:52:10):
I was really hoping she was listening and if she
could call into I was gonna where in Michigan was this?

Speaker 8 (02:52:14):
But actually, actually, you want to.

Speaker 18 (02:52:17):
Know what's crazy?

Speaker 2 (02:52:19):
You married her?

Speaker 12 (02:52:20):
This isna say? I think all this is creaty the
friend and her your sister wives?

Speaker 2 (02:52:25):
Is that the reveal here?

Speaker 8 (02:52:27):
So so she three months after that found out she
was pregnant, but not by you.

Speaker 2 (02:52:35):
No, of course not. I was gonna say, yeah, yeah,
that's karma in a nutshell, Wow, it's karma.

Speaker 12 (02:52:41):
It just so happened that, like you know, she found
a guy who was turned on by girls who smelled
like poop probably I guess.

Speaker 8 (02:52:48):
You know, No, that was prior to that.

Speaker 2 (02:52:50):
So oh, she was like six months pressure she had
a butt in the oven and you didn't know I see,
all right, well wow, what a roller was through there
with Where in Michigan was this? Brett Detroit?

Speaker 15 (02:53:05):
Wow?

Speaker 12 (02:53:05):
All right, well, thank you, Brett. I appreciate the story.
Think about that, that's insane. Yeah, So anyway, I had
all these dogs, and it was my fault because the
dogs were dropping poop everywhere. This girl slips in at
my prom day and then I send her home and
go with her friend to prom on a Thursday night,

(02:53:27):
and then we all go to school on Friday.

Speaker 2 (02:53:30):
I'm sorry, bitch, but I just can't do this because
that whole face thing of yours is just grossing me out.
You should go home. I'm gonna go try to bang
your friend. Oh man, I guess I'm too nice or
I was too nice back then. I would have.

Speaker 12 (02:53:43):
I mean, by the time I got to prom, I
wanted to I was going. I went to prom with
my girlfriend at the time, but I was I just
hated her guts by the time prom came, and she
like begged me not to break up with her before prom,
and so we went. But I couldn't wait to get
out of that after prom, and she even slipp and poop.
I mean, she was just like a you know it
just didn't didn't like her anymore. But that guy Rent, Wow,

(02:54:07):
where'd you go to high school?

Speaker 13 (02:54:08):
Cat?

Speaker 14 (02:54:10):
I went to Brexil Rebby Heights High School And you.

Speaker 2 (02:54:12):
Went to a prom with a young man?

Speaker 15 (02:54:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:54:15):
It was your prom and enjoyable experience?

Speaker 7 (02:54:17):
Yeah, it was, it was. It was fun.

Speaker 2 (02:54:20):
I only went my senior year, so I only went once. Well, yeah,
I mean I went. Some people go away more than that,
way more than that. What do you mean.

Speaker 14 (02:54:28):
I mean there's some girls that are dating somebody older
and they've been going since freshman school.

Speaker 12 (02:54:32):
Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, my Catholic school,
you had to be a junior or a senior to go.
I went my senior year because it's not like I was.
People weren't crawling up my poll, you know. And then
I started dating a girl who was like a year
behind me. And then I went to hurt Prom the
next year. I had a hell of a lot more fun.

Speaker 2 (02:54:48):
I Hurt Prom. They didn't mind.

Speaker 12 (02:54:49):
But some people have just had terrible I mean, yeah,
nothing that rises to the level of slipping and you know,
dog crap.

Speaker 14 (02:54:54):
But so thankfully that nothing like that happened. But yeah,
Brexlevil Brebbe Heights a good problem.

Speaker 2 (02:55:00):
What's the team there? The Bees? The Bees. Yeah, it's
kind of funny.

Speaker 14 (02:55:05):
I went from being a Bee to being a yellow
jacket when I went to BW Right, So I just
never grout of it, and now I'm cat.

Speaker 2 (02:55:12):
B Hey is it Solomon? Yes, yes, like the King.
What's up Salomon the King? Yeah, son of David. I
just wanted to give you a story. I don't know
I can follow that one. That one had a lot
going on, sure did, but good luck.

Speaker 13 (02:55:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:55:33):
Back when I was about listen, I'm forty two now,
but back when I was like nineteen years old, I
worked at a Walmart and I was a stockman. And
our stockman job was basically pretty much grunts.

Speaker 2 (02:55:47):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (02:55:47):
We just did pretty much everything that nobody else wanted
to do.

Speaker 2 (02:55:50):
Yeah, that's what it felt like anyway.

Speaker 8 (02:55:53):
And so I get this call to go.

Speaker 7 (02:55:55):
It was like, hey, can you check out the bathrooms?
We got a call for a bathroom, So I said, okay, cool,
no problem. So I walked up to the men's room.
Men's room doesn't look so bad. So I was just like,
I'm expecting it's the men's room, you know, because guys, kuysa, guys.

Speaker 2 (02:56:09):
This is when you learned how nightmarish a female bathroom
can be. Exactly.

Speaker 7 (02:56:14):
This was my introduction to Sorry Cat, but y'all, y'all
a nightmares when it comes to that bathroom.

Speaker 10 (02:56:22):
Dude, I walk in.

Speaker 8 (02:56:25):
And I did my little double take step back.

Speaker 2 (02:56:27):
Kind of like what you did.

Speaker 7 (02:56:29):
But I was just like, I cannot believe. I'm looking
down sideways, sideways and up Allan and it was there.

Speaker 2 (02:56:40):
It was there. It was a mixture of crap and
and women feminine products.

Speaker 7 (02:56:46):
Yeah, oh my god, dude, it looked like it looked
like it looked like a CSI scene, Like it was bad,
like somebody had a moment. They did not clean it properly,
or they did not take care of themselves properly.

Speaker 2 (02:56:59):
And it was everywhere. Man on the ceiling. God, it
was up, it was everywhere, it was down, it was over.

Speaker 8 (02:57:13):
It was what did you do?

Speaker 2 (02:57:15):
Did you clean it, Solomon? Or did you just bail?

Speaker 15 (02:57:18):
Dude?

Speaker 7 (02:57:19):
I wanted to bail, but it's my job. It was
like my second job I've ever had. I was just like,
so I called my boss and I go, dude, it's
on the ceiling. And he was just like, stop lying.

Speaker 4 (02:57:30):
And then I was just like, I'm not lying.

Speaker 2 (02:57:32):
It's on the ceiling.

Speaker 20 (02:57:34):
And he was just like.

Speaker 8 (02:57:38):
He had the most defeated sigh I've.

Speaker 2 (02:57:40):
Ever heard in my entire life. Right, Solomon walks in.

Speaker 12 (02:57:43):
He's like he's got a miner's helmet with the thing
he's got. I got we got stalactites in here, man,
I can't deal with this.

Speaker 2 (02:57:51):
Yeah, it's like in the Mammoth Caves in Kentucky or something.

Speaker 15 (02:57:54):
Bat Lady.

Speaker 7 (02:57:56):
They gave me gloves. They gave me a bag I
had to wear like a a garbage bag. Basically, they
gave me like this like goggle thing. I want you
to have eye protection.

Speaker 12 (02:58:07):
It's like, yeah, he's like he's chasing an out break
monkey around or something.

Speaker 2 (02:58:12):
Well, you live to tell the tale.

Speaker 15 (02:58:14):
So yes, I did.

Speaker 7 (02:58:16):
And I learned a very hardcore lesson about females. And
I was just like, you know what I used to
put it, Put them on a pedestal, you know, and
be worried about chasing them.

Speaker 2 (02:58:24):
But now I'm just like, nope, that fear is over with. Plus,
when you put him on that pedestal, it puts them
closer to the ceiling and that's how they get it
up there. Solon, you gotta be careful with them. You
are the man, all right, Thank you, Solomon, thank you. Accident,
it's not an accident at all.

Speaker 12 (02:58:46):
Oh, it's on the ceiling. It's like one of those
horror movies right where there's a line that just sends
a chill do on everyone's spine. The call is coming
from inside the house, man, and we've traced where the
calls are coming from, and they're coming from inside the house.

(02:59:07):
Solomon walks out and they say what's the matter, and
he just goes, it's up.

Speaker 2 (02:59:13):
It's up. It was up, yeah, not on the ceiling.

Speaker 5 (02:59:22):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 8 (02:59:29):
Get out of it.

Speaker 20 (02:59:31):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do.

Speaker 15 (02:59:41):
Big Brother is watching you.

Speaker 20 (02:59:44):
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

Speaker 15 (02:59:51):
One slip and you know who you're through. Big Brother
is watching you. And well all that.

Speaker 29 (03:00:01):
Remember obedience pain And when you watch that Davy screens,
remember it works both ways. You'll disappear in a wink.

Speaker 20 (03:00:16):
Unless you can double think, you'll vanish into the blue.

Speaker 15 (03:00:22):
Big Brother is watching you.