SOME OF THE ALAN COX SHOW 11/26

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commissions determined the following content to be
emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Things that you think is funny aren't funny. Jimmy Cox
solid time?

Speaker 4 (00:12):
Do me a cock show?

Speaker 5 (00:15):
Your clash man welcome?

Speaker 2 (00:17):
He me what you Yeah? I can see a lot
of cocks on TV.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Allen Cox from me, Alan too.

Speaker 6 (00:22):
I don't know what it's about you, but I can't
evader cool.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
It will be a great So let's take coffee.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
If you get that yo, just eight with a safety group.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Okay, what two?

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Three? Kick Tom?

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Dad put you one time?

Speaker 7 (00:39):
Take it?

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Allen Cox, Here we go, he'll add, he'll be fine.

Speaker 8 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Double U M M.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
As Tyler is in dry ridge?

Speaker 9 (00:57):
Can put.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
What do you have?

Speaker 3 (01:02):
I have a horrible case of dry ridge. I'll tell
you what. I called my wife and he said, honey,
I mean here, I got dry ridge again on the underside,
are up top both this time due dual dry ridge.
Doesn't feel good. He told me there's akraaphor, there's all.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Kinds of things you can use.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I told him I'd wait till I got home for
your Grandma's lemon juice and plaster paras recipe. I don't
even know if that's the thing made it is now?
Hey listen, man might work? Yeah why not at horse paste?

(01:45):
Worked for your other stuff? Right, try lemon juice and hey,
fat Andy?

Speaker 10 (01:53):
What up?

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Please tell me you're please tell me, please tell me
you're super skinny.

Speaker 11 (02:00):
I'm medium andy now? Yeah, okay, three actually be fair?
Oh whatever, good, I'm gonna get in there. He comes
and goes yep. Anyway, regardless, there's this old salty salty
as mechanic at the mall good Year in mentor Mall
parking lot. It's it's gone now, but back in the day,

(02:25):
this guy, you know, he used to he was very
strange and he lived up his mom and he was
like fifty years old, and he'd be like, excuse the place.
I had one hundred twenty thousand bucks at the base
hat twelve. So we glued the quarter in front of
his toolbox on the floor and I don't remember what
they used the blue it on there to JB. Welder's

(02:47):
something really strong, so.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
You have to pick it up.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
And he saw us all laughing at him, sick, that's tick.

Speaker 11 (02:55):
And so he went and got his air, chizzled and
put a flat bit on there and chizzled it off
the ground, bit it with his teeth and stuck in
his pocket, and he's like a screw all.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Wow, he went all in. He's like he's like underdog.
He's like biting the money to make sure that it's
I thought that was going to end with him coming
back and murdering half of your colleagues.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
That sounded like it.

Speaker 11 (03:17):
No, he was very strangely like that. The one time
he brought us uh pictures of a Lady of the.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Night signing his documents. There you go.

Speaker 11 (03:29):
Yeah, powed him to everybody, dude, and we're like like this.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
One in every crew.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
It's easy to stack up one hundred and twenty g's
when you're living with your mom and you're fifty, I guess, but.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah, I thought too. I'm like, wow, good for you.

Speaker 11 (03:43):
I'm eighteen and.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I pay rent.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
So okay, all right, thank you Andy, You're well, all right,
thanks man. There's a fat formerly fat Andy. Now he's
media medium Andy. Yeah, good for him. I thought for
sure it was gonna be the guy came back and
couldn't get that goddamn glued quarter off the ground.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
He came back and.

Speaker 12 (04:06):
Time.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
That's right. So I lived with my mother.

Speaker 13 (04:09):
So what.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Speaking of Seattle, one of our bureau chiefs sent me this.
I don't know if Roman sent me this, but I
just like the fact that this guy was known as
a prolific public masturbator. Right, I mean, imagine you get
to the point where that's how you're described so good

(04:32):
you arefic This guy creates an abundance of public masturbation. Now,
this is a is a registered sex offender, natch, who
calls himself the master baiter. Womp, womp. He's been arrested again.
This is his whole hook. This is like his thing. Hey,

(04:56):
you see me walking in your establishment, break out the.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Mind up stroke coat.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, this time in a grocery store in Seattle, a
guy named Keenan Pearson. He's forty six years old. Described
as a prolific public masturbator. He was scooped up or
a few weeks back after being observed by witnesses openly

(05:24):
masturbating in a Seattle grocery store in front of numerous
members of the public, including children.

Speaker 14 (05:31):
Did they say what department he was in? They did not,
your honor, I was in produce, and those melons. You
wouldn't believe how attractive they were.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
They reminded me of this massage I got one time.
I instantly its own chobved up. Hey, you know your honor.
It's involuntary. I can't always control it.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oooh so scared chubby Wobby.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
When in front of cops, he reportedly confessed that he
was quote and the immortal words of one Clarence Carter, stroking. Yeah,
this guy said he was stroking. You imagine he's just
walking around like an old school boom box on his shoulder.

(06:19):
He's walking through the store playing stroke. Have you ever
made love on a couch? Have you ever masturbated the
frozen food section? I don't just make love, That's what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
I'm stroking.

Speaker 11 (06:40):
You, the prolific public masturbator Ostrop to the west, Astro
to the east.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Clarence Carter left out north and south.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, what time you like to make a quarter past news?
Have you ever made just? Yes?

Speaker 3 (07:09):
The Cohen responds, Now, have you ever made moon?

Speaker 12 (07:14):
Well?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
You watched the show? Oh yeah, they show.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
There's a lot of time ago.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yes, have you a met yet?

Speaker 15 (07:25):
Well?

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah? I love see.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm the guy in the audience is answering. He's just
trying to get through the song. I sure have, yeah,
eighty four polls.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
I'm you go ahead, you.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Tell them, and the police came and shine, just like, yeah,
how did you make to help get hip?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
That's how I too.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
I'm stoke anyway, This prolific public masturbator said that he
was stroking. They're in the grocery store. They don't say
what chain the grocery store. I got the visual god
standing in the crowd answering him.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Like, yes, sir, yes I have. These aren't for you,
this is just a song. I'm all right, yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
I like to make love with a mask, so I
know in which direction I'm stroking it. Do you have
any more questions for me?

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Let me ask you something? Oh you do? Okay? How
long has it been since you made.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh seventy two hours.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yesterday?

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Let's say mondays no, no, that you make love last
week the four I can fellow anothers there. I don't
want to interrupt the show. That should make a sound
last yo and all in twenty twenty four.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, absolutely is. Yes, I'm making me that you put
in on making love.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
I'm always planning. Yeah, I'm a plant. I don't want
to wait.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
What when you start? Yeah, yeah, you're making Oh.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Wait right the sound Wait, damn it my pen is
what is it again? Excuse me?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
What is it again?

Speaker 3 (09:20):
I want to write that down.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
I got the direction plan I want.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
To be.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
I'll be strong again when I'm start making love.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Don't leave my just put my men down. Hold up,
No sex. I want to know one and.

Speaker 16 (09:44):
I can always tell when she gets sex, because when
she gets sick.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Are you saying sex or sex?

Speaker 10 (09:52):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Sex? Sex? Said class. We're not gonna curse.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Here, are you?

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Oh? Yeah, I know you're gonna curse there. Okay, that's okay.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Clarence Carter, Clarence.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I feel like this is a little personal, and maybe
I shouldn't be listening to this.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
I don't need to hear this. If you want to,
you don't have to tell me.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
I think everybody else left. This feels personal. Come on, man,
the one guy in the crowd, Oh god, one guy
at the Clarence Carter show just talking back. Oh it's
so good anyway, the prolific man. He identified himself to

(10:38):
the cops as master Baiter. Yeah, clearly he's the guy Yeah,
he loves Yeah, large build Carhart Beanie, great advertisement for them.
Black sweatshirt, black sweat pants? Should it be gray sweatpants?
If you're gonna be the master baiter.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
It doesn't say what.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Well, just gives the address. Doesn't say what grocery store.
It's probably easy to figure out what's the uh when
speaking with us, When speaking five hundred five AV, South Seattle,
it's weird. Several witnesses called the cops, and he admitted

(11:21):
to officers that he had been stroking inside the store.
While speaking with the cops, he was actively looking at
women and saying that they should be in his show
and that they could stroke it as well. One of
the witnesses told the officers that two customers had come

(11:42):
up to her and reported that this guy had been
following them around with his penis out and touching him.
One woman who worked in the food court, this is
pretty gross, right, You certainly feel unsafe. I mean, that's
of course, but they I like how specific witnesses get
because the cops obviously are going to ask them to
be as specific as possible. Is they're going to write

(12:03):
this up in their incident report. And so the woman
said that he had been rubbing himself from quote shaft
to tip.

Speaker 12 (12:12):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Now you could be mid shaft and that's still shaft.

Speaker 12 (12:20):
Welcome to the Center for the potentially entertaining the Allan
Cox Show on one seven dommas.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
Johnny Knoxville is going to be hosting The Fear Factor
over the new reboot Fear Factor. The next chapter is
what it's called. I think that'll do well. I mean
that's it is the perfect host for that show. Yeah,
Rogan did for five years one that was six. MTV
grabbed it and rebooted it with Ludacris. I don't really

(12:50):
know that that went anywhere. I don't even remember remember
them doing that. The brand new format of Fear Factor
will feature strangers dropped into quote unforgiving romo locations and
living together. Now I never saw other than clips of
people like eating bugs or whatever. You know, I never
watched Fear Factor, so they weren't living together before. It

(13:12):
wasn't like the real world with no toad testicles or anything,
no challenges and stuff. That's I didn't know that. So
that's what this is gonna be, facing Stun's challenges and
of course fear so that it sounds like they're putting
them in a house together because you want to ratchet
up the drama, right, Why well, just stick to the
formula that worked. Everybody's got to put their stamp on it.

(13:35):
Only one contestant will end the season with a grand
cash prize. It's gonna slate. It's slay to do a
be on Fox this fall season. The og Fear Factor, Though,
there's plenty of places you can get that. It's on Peacock,
it's on Hulu, but they are doing open casting. They

(13:57):
don't even have people for this yet. It's not being
shot yet. You gotta be eighten and over. Maybe you're
somebody who wants to be on a Fear Factor. Nope,
you don't want to know the next chapter.

Speaker 14 (14:11):
I still have nightmares about There was an episode where
someone was lying in a glass casket and they filled it.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Was his name, David Blaine. No oh, they filled it
with cockroaches and a bunch of cockerroaches. Cockerroach you cockarach?
I yet no, uh never.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Never.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
To this day, when I think about that, I get
like geeby GB's. I mean, I don't like cockroaches, but
I could lie in a coffin and have them crawl
on me, probably thousands of them, and just.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Like, literally, you're wearing goggles.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
I was gonna say, don't they have goggles and nose plugs?
No nose plugs, I don't think so. Only your eyes
are covered, ears are open.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Maybe now that you say that, maybe they did heavier plugs.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
They didn't nose covered.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
But listen, if I'm lying there in a helmet, I
can lay there all day long.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
No way, dude, No new, new, new new news.

Speaker 12 (15:02):
All right.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Well, they're looking for people who are over the age
of eighteen from the US and Canada, and they ask
you a lot of questions.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
See even television shows.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
Now, they're looking for people who have large followings on
social media. So they're asking people who apply to this,
what do you do for a living? What's your presence
on Facebook and TikTok and YouTube and x. That's what
they want because they're like, well, this is how we
you know, it used to be. We'll put you on
television that'll blow you up. Now they get people who

(15:34):
already have a kind of an audience, and they'll put
them on television and then they'll be posting about their show.

Speaker 14 (15:40):
And that's how they get people over to watch Fear Factory.
But at that point, how is it any different than
like Battle of the Reality Start. I agree, you know
it's who cares. Yeah, I Fear Factor with Johnny Knoxville
is going to premiere this fall over on Fox.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
I mean, I'll watch it, will you?

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Because I love him. I'll watch it so long.

Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (16:02):
Yeah, those movies. I could watch those every single day.
I know it's ridiculous because it's all the same stuff
you've seen a million times, but I laugh and laugh
like it was the first time I've ever seen it.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
Alan, your grandma wasn't your age in nineteen seventy nine,
and she wasn't a child during the depression. Smh. Yeah
stands for smack my head. This is somebody who I
guess this is really triggered by me talking about my grandmother. Well,
I'm terrible at math. My grandmother was a teenager during
the depress. Was the depression started right of the stock
market crash nineteen twenty nine, My grandma would have been

(16:39):
sixteen years old, so not a small child. But yeah,
she was a teenager during the depression. She would have
been a little bit older than me.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
In seventy nine. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
Boy, the things that people get upset about on their behalf, Like,
I don't care, that's fine. I was going talking about
my grandmother yesterday. I just mentioned it as an aside,
right because she lived to one hundred and two and
three quarters or whatever. But this person really took umbrage
with my quick math the biggest load that we've seen. Yeah, listen,

(17:11):
that's what I think of you, sir Madam. Oh, that
was such a Trump talking about the ceasefire and he
goes the biggest load we've ever seen him, like pardon me, yeah,
oh god Trump ceasefire fails immediately, of course, because he's

(17:32):
a moron and doesn't know anything about anything, and he's like,
they can't you know, listen, I understand a lot of
people recoil at the mere sight of Donald Trump, but
you really can't ignore.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
How cute he is.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
For instance, it is adorable that he thinks he's running
anything in the Middle East, but he's out there flopping
it around saying they don't know what they're doing. I
told them to stop, and they didn't. Oh you're adorable.
What a cute do you are?

Speaker 2 (18:01):
You dummy? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:02):
At that clip was something else.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
They violated, but Israel violated it too.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Israel. As soon as we.

Speaker 11 (18:17):
Made the deal, they came out and they dropped the load.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Of bombs, the likes of which I don't the biggest
load that we've seen.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, the likes of which I swear the guy knows
twelve words, right, biggest load, Yeah, the likes of you've
never seen, big of it. I told them not to
do it, and they did it. Oh, you fat, fat dummy. Anyway,
So that's going on.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
The biggest load that we've seen.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yes, indeed, I was thinking the same thing when you
showed up on television.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, good for him.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Oh, I found the Spanish David Lee Roth if you're interested.
He recorded to Eat Him and Smile his first album,
second solo album, first full length Crazy from the Heat,
was like a four or five song EP. Get his
yah yas out after Although I feel like that came
out while he was still in Van Halen. Weren't they

(19:15):
on a hiatus and he put that out and I
think people were like, oh, this is the beginning of
the end. I don't remember. I don't know either. Nevertheless,
he recorded Eat Him and Smile, his full length debut
with the band and everything in Spanish. Remember Yankee Rose.
That was the track that that was the single too,
was Yankee Rose. It was a song about the Statue

(19:36):
of Liberty. Then get much more rock and roll in that,
and he sang it in Spanish. Now, I don't know
what this was supposed to do, but uh, you know, listen,

(20:01):
he's on the road. He's playing Cincinnati in August. He's
doing the hard rock casino down there.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, young heroes, young.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
So I'll tell you all about it.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
I can't get enough. He did every godamn song on
Eat Him and Smile Sosa was the name of the
translation was wild Smile.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Eat Him and Smile, Young girls. I love it.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I'm trying to think of it in English and I'm like, oh, yeah, right,
there's that part.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
There's that.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Here comes the change, right, lights, steady lights. I'm talking
about the Yankee heros elan fear factor should be ro
versus Shirlie for a Wendy's endorsement.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
How about that?

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Oh that's just fantastic. Isn't that funny? Isn't that funny?
They're going to be dropping French fries and Frosty's.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
On you isn't that funny?

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, wasn't her own Mary Santora trying to get on
fear factor?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Was that what was going?

Speaker 3 (21:38):
I don't know she she didn't really say. She's changy
about it, but I thought she. I thought fear factor
was something that she was.

Speaker 14 (21:44):
She was up for something, she said, and I think
it was I think it may have been that. And
if it was down to her in Johnny Knoxville, she's
onto pretty good things.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yeah. Oh, I don't know if she was to host hers.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
You said there's a casting call for it now though, right, well, yeah,
they're looking for contestants now. And this was two months ago.
We talked to her, Yeah, for a month ago whatever. Yeah,
so yeah, I don't know, send them something, get on there. No, Oh,
you have your eighteen, I will know you won't, Yes,

(22:20):
I will.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Nope, I don't.

Speaker 14 (22:21):
By all you suckers, the perfect job opened up for
you and you didn't do it. Primus was looking for
a drummer. You could have lived the rock star lifestyle
and I could have hung onto your coat tails.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
I don't think Primus is living the rock star lie.
Of course it would be there. It's nine dudes in
that audience. It doesn't matter. You're on the rock, a
rock star. The rock and roll lifestyle means you get
a lot of poon tank How do you know they
don't anybody can take a bus trying.

Speaker 14 (22:48):
To tell me less Claypool is it Google's fingers all over?

Speaker 2 (22:52):
People? Come on?

Speaker 13 (22:54):
Of course he is.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
I don't think anybody's getting laid in primus everyone with respect.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
Could you be in a coffin and then cover it
with butter? Yes, as long as I don't have to
eat it. Yes, I'm not scared it's gonna touch me.
I don't want to eat it.

Speaker 11 (23:16):
Hm.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Put Dick from Dayton in the house and see who
can survive. Yeah, the ceasefire Alan failed because the Iranian
government is staffed by animals. Yes, who can argue with
that cogent and complex analysis of real politique. CNN, by

(23:41):
the way, saying that the bombs did not destroy Iran's
nuclear sites. Again, who knows? Who cares?

Speaker 2 (23:49):
Whatever?

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Anything the guy says, Anything the guy says, or anytime
he talks, it's not the truth. So it doesn't matter
what's being said. I don't even know how they report
on these things. I don't know, I'm just here for
him talking about the big load, which he's probably carrying

(24:12):
one in his pants on a regular basis. Oh bagest
load that we've seen. Yes, speaking of which, boy, you
can't pin down that David Manning, that pastor, the Siemen
Lattes guy, that's kind of where he really blew up
on this show. But this guy, because he's running for
mayor of New York, he's got a very novel approach

(24:34):
to raising funds from a black congregation. His latest approach
is thank God for white people. No, I don't know
if he's going for the money, man, But you know,
this guy, on the one hand, he's like slagging Trump
left and right, and then he comes back around and
he's like, black people haven't done anything. This guy's always sweaty.

(24:59):
So you can't pin the guy down. I mean, he's
certifiably nutty to some degree, and people's brains can hold
to competing thoughts. But man, they know that Trump is
a diarrhea poop. Yeah, that's him talking about Mega. He's
distilled it perfectly. They know that Trump is a diarrhea poop.

(25:22):
They just don't care. This is him talking about he
got really, really upset at the notion of people being
denied due process. Again, very spot on for this moment,
spot on, and he went off, But then he goes
on again about slaves didn't do anything. Thank God for

(25:45):
the white man wild. I don't know how you raise
I don't know how this makes you money if you're
trying to fund your campaign effort. I don't know if
the end game is unless he's just bored. There's a
lot of people online are bored, and they got he's
got mic from now. So just like he's sitting there talking,
he's talking too.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
You let this orange hair a ring attan.

Speaker 16 (26:06):
You let this little penis guy named Donald Trump with
his big fat self and this little thing. You let
this man stand up and say that these people don't
deserve due process or that they're ignorant.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Hey, I'm not for crime, God knows I'm not.

Speaker 16 (26:21):
I'm not for people getting robbed, God knows I'm not.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
But Trump is running game. He's running the same game
that Hitler ran. He's running the same game that the
slavery people ran.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
He's running the same game.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
It's the same old game.

Speaker 16 (26:34):
No due process, and you gonna stand up and talk
about they don't deserve due process because they came here illegally.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Hell, that is what they.

Speaker 16 (26:42):
Said about the slave, said they didn't deserve due process
because they came here on ships.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
Or what the hell is wrong with y'all? The hell
is wrong with y'all?

Speaker 2 (26:52):
I mean that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
Well you can well in the context of him. Yes,
that's what I'm saying. You see, let's not get two
carried away. I know, a dial poop.

Speaker 14 (27:06):
Yeah, that's where you lose credibility, right when you start
doing those type of things, and that's what people know
you for. When you come out and say something that
perhaps could have some merit, you sound still like the
guy that calls someone a diarrhea poop.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
When you think of peak physical fitness, the normal names
come to mind. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Stacy Fergie Ferguson, right. Yeah,
her body stayed vicious. She'd be up in the gym
working on her fitness. Remember fer Delicious, I told you

(27:40):
all about it. Turns out that workout based on the
lyrics of fur Delicious back in the day turned out
to be very tailored to her because I tried it
at the time. Uh huh, my body did not stay vicious.
I didn't matter how much I worked on my fitness,
I'd be up in the gym too. I think most
friggy lyrics were meant for her. Her Lundy Lundy, lundy,

(28:02):
wanna go down like yeah yeah, and g lam r.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
O us.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Anyway, let's add another name to the list. It is
never too old.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
What do they say?

Speaker 3 (28:16):
The major indicators of how you'll age are strength and flexibility. Right,
you got a lot of people who run, I lift.
You can never be too strong. And there's one hundred
year old woman who is a star at her gym
in Long Island, a woman named Geraldine Leo, and she
goes by Jerry. She is one hundred and she's clearly

(28:40):
I don't know if she's on the prowl. I don't
know what's going on, but she's clearly concerned about her
looks and staying in shape. Because she's one hundred, she's
still got the brown hair, the whole thing is dyed,
and she is the talk of this gym. Fifty nine
sixty seven, one hundred, I'd like move wait absolutely, yeah,

(29:02):
that's better.

Speaker 9 (29:03):
One hundred years.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
And she's doing these lap pulldowns and she wants more weight.
She goes, hey, put it all the way up to
three pounds.

Speaker 9 (29:12):
Going strong, pulling a twenty pound weight. Jerry Leo is
the pride of Bay Shores Great South Bay YMCA.

Speaker 17 (29:19):
Let's go, Mama beautiful.

Speaker 9 (29:21):
Other members of the aerobics fitt in his class half
Jerry's age watching envy as a great grandmother goes through
her daily paces.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
She's thinking, even if you don't want to be this person,
if you spend time in the gym, there is a
part of your brain that wants to outdo everybody else,
and within reason, you know, if you're next to some powerlifter,
you're not going to do that. When I used to
get up early in the morning and go to the gym,
this gym I used to go to, there was a
dude there who was like a powerlifter. He's constantly squatting,

(29:51):
but he was always setting up his tripod and his
phone and you know, so he's creating content but he's
doing the work. Wasn't like he was a poser. Imagine
you're next to the one hundred year old woman and
yes you're doing twenty pounds, but okay, and she's kicking
your ass. Makes everybody work harder in this particular gym.
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
She can.

Speaker 9 (30:12):
She can have a chip on her shoulder and crushing
her workout since the y open thirty four years ago.
It's Harry lckxer life.

Speaker 18 (30:21):
The only thing I do.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
This reporter sounds like it's one hundred with this voice over.
I don't eat red meat.

Speaker 17 (30:28):
I try to eat, you know, have a good diet,
Mediterranean they call it.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
She's got a great spirit. She is pretty much we
call her the president of the YMC. Yeah, boy, that's
how you know.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
This is Bay Shore.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Jerry Leo, and then we talked to Daspina Tenadorio your hair,
Welcome to Bay Shore. I don't eat red meat.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
She is religious with her workout.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
She doesn't give up if she feels like she can't
do it. Insistency is key, rob I gotta get up
every day and do something right.

Speaker 9 (30:57):
I'm trying to keep up with. Jerry Leo is particulary
fond of doing planks. That's an abdominal exercise. Younger members
of the gym can hold for only two to three minutes,
but not Jerry.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
You tell the l I'm a lot younger than her.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
I can't see that now.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
It does help when you weigh twelve pounds. Skiff looks
like tissue paper. But she has one hundred for her.

Speaker 19 (31:24):
It shows you what exercise could do for your health.
Just some exercises she can do that I can't do.
She really has inspired me. At one hundred. Jerry just
renewed her driver's license.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Woh, okay, let's come on.

Speaker 13 (31:43):
Learned from my mistakes and always wear a condom.

Speaker 11 (31:47):
Oh, who made my team?

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Dong edge?

Speaker 16 (31:52):
Who dong edge?

Speaker 11 (31:56):
I don't know how to tell her I've got red
spots on my packer for who?

Speaker 2 (32:00):
My dan dong is.

Speaker 9 (32:05):
A bitch?

Speaker 3 (32:09):
Come on? What did I do? First of all, I
know how to write a song, and you call me
a bitch. I know how to write a song. That
song is six out of ten. Right, it's right there.
I don't know how to tell her I got red
spots on my feller. Yeah that was I was not
my packer, bro. Come on, leave it to the professionals,
all right, I was expecting feller all day long. Yes,

(32:30):
of course, it's right there. I doubt he was so
excited to call me a bitch. Yeah, that he screwed
up his song and why why what I do to you?
That's the exclamation point on his songs. It's your fairy
Listen man, you know, listen. I'll take anybody's slings and

(32:51):
arrows if they're talented. Talent wins right. You can call
me whatever you want talent, that's all right. I mean,
why was I gonna be what I do?

Speaker 7 (33:04):
You?

Speaker 9 (33:04):
Homo sexual?

Speaker 7 (33:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (33:07):
You know, by the way, it's quite regressive. How dare
you during a Pride month? Quite regressive to imply that
being called a homosexual is an insult of because that's
what it is, right, every one of those is tagged
with what he considers to be an insult. Calling me gay. Yeah, oh,
bring an insult. If I was gay, I'd be loud

(33:29):
and proud about it. You think you have relationships with women,
rob and sex with men? Does that make me gay?
Let me consult my television programs.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
I am not gay. I have relationships with women and
sex with men, And.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
I got news for you that means you gay?

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Damn it.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
This does mean I'm gay?

Speaker 4 (33:50):
O my god, proving what one.

Speaker 8 (33:54):
Man can achieve with an utter lack of charisma, and
it's of our time.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Alan Cox, Grandmass.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Do you speak any Cree. No, this is a Kree artist.
She's Canadian Indigenous. Her name is Babe Buckskin and she
did a part Kree, part English version of the Immigrant
Song from led Zeppelin. I mean she definitely takes her

(35:01):
liberties with it. That's okay, it's so cute. I love
what she's doing. Then where is their gear plugged in?
They're out in the middle of a They're at the
base of a mountain. They're out in the and the
Canadian countryside, and they've got all their amps and stuff,
and she's using a wired mic. Maybe they have like

(35:23):
a big power generator.

Speaker 14 (35:26):
I mean, I got I don't hate it at all. No,
I kind of dig the fact that it is different,
you know. I mean she didn't go exact for the
like here's the way it needs to be arranged musically,
like they mixed theirs.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
It's kind of cool. She goes by Baby Buckskin. But
her given name was Danny ghost Keeper. I love those
indigenous names, man, Danny Ghostkeeper.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Why not use that?

Speaker 3 (35:49):
We grew up in Northern Alberta, Canada, and she's a
pop rock artist stuff there. I don't mind that at all.
That's too good, not at all pretty good. B the Buckskin,
she's over there on if you follow her on Instagram,
she's be the underscore Buckskin. Wasn't that your your nickname,

(36:11):
BD Buckskin? Oh No, that was that was C C
Lambskin right back in my condom days. Yes, yes, I'm sorry,
connect it's okay. Ever since my vasectomy, I dropped CEC Lambskin.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
All right.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
Now, I'm a latex man. I didn't like those lamb
you know, I'm a latex allergy anything like that. I
understand what the lambskin condoms are for, but I didn't
have anything like that.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
The lamb skin.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Yeah, it is it the same vibe, not exactly. I mean,
I guess if you're wearing condoms. I mean, for all
the guys that complain and can't feel anything, it doesn't
really matter. Of course, back in the day, I mean,
I I hate to focus on my advanced age, but
I used to use a wine skin back in the day,
rob wine skin, No CC lambskin in was not. I

(37:03):
stop using that quite some time. I mean, I do
have a number of other aliases, you know. I'll throw
these out at people all the time, and there's certainly
anybody one of our customers who might hear one of
my aliases, because I'll use these when I travel. If
I don't want to stay in a hotel or my
own under my own name, I'll go to one of
my aliases.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
I'll check in take two. Are we rolling?

Speaker 3 (37:30):
I think so, I'll check in this this isn't live right,
and these microphones on three two one go so rob.
If I don't want to check into a hotel under
my own name, I have a whole bunch of other
names that I can use, Like I'll use skip intro
or link in bio.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Like that one.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, Hi, I'm in room for twenty four. I'm Mario Speedwagon.
Oh right this way, mister Speedwagon. I'm yes, I'm doctor
Dudley Saturday at your service. Now, they never ask to
see any kind of doctor it so you can tell

(38:13):
them just throw doctor on the front of your name,
even if you're staying somewhere under your own name. Of course,
I never am I'm always Rod Tourniquet or Max Payload
or Florian Casserole or Clumpy Fromage or one of those. Right,
you throw doctor on the front. I don't know that
they would treat you any differently. We do have a
long running viialent strain in this country of anti intellectualism.

(38:38):
So there's a chance somebody might treat you worse if
they think you're a doctor. True, but it's worth throwing
in there because they might give you an arched eyebrow.
They'll go, is your name really Defaulty Rubbers yet? No,
I'm doctor Defaulty Rubbers. Hey, what kind of name is that?
I go, It's cree, it's care And you're not saying

(39:01):
what you're a doctor of? That's right, you know what
I mean? So it's people are gonna assume, oh, MD.
But no, maybe you just have a doctor it's of something.

Speaker 14 (39:09):
Yes, you know, you're a doctor of words that Rob
doesn't understand.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
That's right. See, well there's a lot of things you wonder.
I mean, PhD literally means doctor of philosophy, right, so
you can go, I'm a PhD. I've got a pH
d in entomology, for instance. That's of course the study
of pastries. Hmm, you're a doctor of whatever?

Speaker 2 (39:40):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
I say, I'm Harold Palladium. It's one of the other
names I use, Bent and krem. You throw a doctor
on the front and it's fun you've used all these
of course, that's fantastic of them. Yeah, well, I don't
like to overuse them. There's a couple that have been
under used. I haven't used poone Hairdswith in a while.

(40:06):
I'm a fan of that one or Tux Flamingo. You
know people, haha, Richard Cox, that's my uncle. By the way,
did I mention like my uncle died and nobody knew,
like we gotta we got a in my sibling group chat. Yeah,
in my sibling group chat, my brother goes when we

(40:26):
found out that my uncle died. Did I talk about
all this where my only uncle died? I don't remember
what I talked about. So my mom's only we found
out that my mom's only brother died like before Christmas.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Now we hadn't seen.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
I hadn't seen when we grew up with him, Like
I was probably his favorite nephew at the time. My
sister hadn't even been born yet, but it was my
We only knew my mom's side of the family, and
it was just my mom and her brother and they
were mostly estranged for most of their adult lives. But
we would see him, you know, when we were kids,
and we didn't see him for a long long time,
like he lived with my grandma till he was like

(41:03):
forty two, and then he like peaced out, So that
didn't help the familial relations with my mom and him. Anyway,
I flash forward. I didn't hadn't seen him until he
shows up at my grandmother's funeral ten years ago almost,
and he was so out of it, like I had
to I introduced myself self to him. He was like

(41:25):
telling me who he was. I go, uncle Bob, it's allan,
I'm a grown ass man now whatever. Well, we didn't
we because he had no connection to any of us.
He died and we didn't know, and I don't know
how my brother found it. My brother must have been
looking around or maybe he got curious and found his obituary.
And then on top of this, they go, oh, and
one of Dad's brothers died too, So it's like yeah,

(41:46):
because we really didn't know my dad's side of the family,
and it was like and there was a photo and
an obituary, and it's like, you know, I'm so because
it's happened a couple of times with me with friends
where I didn't find out that they died until like
a year later, and so I'm like, so triggered by
that now happens and I'm just so so cristfallen and
upset when those things happened. But I was like, it's
so weird, so weird. How long had he had he

(42:10):
been gone? Did you say I missed that my uncle?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (42:13):
From we found that on Christmas? And you found out
way like his birthday was on Christmas Day. When we
would go to my grandma's for Christmas every year, we'd
have a cake on Christmas. You talk about getting screwed
because your birthday's on Christmas. I'm sure that's how he felt.
We used to have a cake for him as part
of our Christmas festivities for my uncle. And he was
four years older than my mom or something like that.

(42:34):
So he died like eighty Oh no, yeah, he died
right before Christmas. This past Christmas. None of us knew
because we hadn't had any contact with him. Now, how
does your mom take something like that? I asked my brother.
I'm like, so you told mom. I'm like, did Mom
send this to you? He goes, no, No, I had
to tell her Jesus, And I'm like, I can't imagine

(42:54):
other than just kind of being wistful about whatever your
lost relationship it was with her only sibling. I'm like,
I can't imagine she was that like like broken by it.
You know, she was probably just really bummed out. Yeah,
and it would be weird she had no connection with
him whatsoever, you know, in like the last twenty five years,

(43:16):
and then to find that in like the obituary, like
I don't know if my brother ran across it. I
don't know what the hell, but it was so strange.
And so, you know, you find out that people, you know,
when I have to finally rob kill doctor Barnabas Tahoe,
that's gonna be tough.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
My alias is Shlomo Defrigerator. Now see, I like that.
I would that's a good one. I mean Shlomo. You
know again, you might run into some issues with that,
but I like it. I think anytime you can make
up a name and use it in mixed come it's great.

(44:01):
That is, and it sounds like a humble bride, but
it's really not. Because I'm very fortunate to have been
successful in northeast Ohio. But that is a bit of
a downside when people know who you are, because you
can't play around with them, right, Not everybody knows who
I am, and so you can kind of gauge that.
I'm sure this happens to you too. You can kind
of gauge that, and then you can tell them they go, oh,
what do you do for a living? You can just
make up something insane. That's fun. You're meeting people and

(44:24):
they have no idea who you are. That's the best.

Speaker 14 (44:27):
My favorite is when when they ask and they clearly know,
you know what I mean, like you're you're in a situation.
I was at the event for my daughter's lacrosse team
and one of the parents, oh, what do you do
for a living?

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Dude?

Speaker 3 (44:41):
But you knew that they knew? Yeah, how did you
know they knew? Because they're in like a circle of
people that Okay, so do you play along?

Speaker 9 (44:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 (44:51):
I work in radio. Oh really, where do you work
and work at WMMS?

Speaker 13 (44:55):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (44:55):
Are you on the air?

Speaker 2 (44:57):
I am now? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Oh are you on the morning?

Speaker 10 (45:00):
No?

Speaker 14 (45:00):
No, I'm on in the afternoon. Oh yeah, I listen
all the time. Okay, yeah, I'm robbing. Oh geez, that's great.
It's like fifteen questions.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
To get to you.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, but you have said, like, I don't have a
distinct voice. You have like such a distinct voice, I
would think that they would know immediately what you're talking about.
Leaned over and I just started going boot on his
wife's neck and then it worked out. You may know
me as the clip rattler, but.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
All right, oh, I didn't know you was rob.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
I only knew r right.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
Yeah, it's like meeting a porn star. They recognize you
with your clothes on. I'm sorry, Yeah, I've only seen
the back of your bad Dad is your Alan?

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Is your dad? So contact you? He does not.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
That hasn't happened a long time, usually because my Alexas
are unplugged and that was our only form of communication for.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
This is your further speaking from New elect.

Speaker 14 (45:50):
Nope, I'd plug it in once in a while just
to check in. I mean that'd be nice, right, I mean,
I keep it unplugged.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
But I unplugged it in the first place because the
goddamn thing would reboot it like three in the morning,
and Alexa would start talking like I'm like crapping my
bed because this thing in the middle of the night,
which is like not far out of you know, the
the bedroom in another room, and it's like, bang, I
don't know what. I'm like, what is happening around here?

(46:18):
So I just hard unplugged it.

Speaker 14 (46:20):
That happened to me the other day, just out of
nowhere because we play rain sounds at night, just kind
of helpless sleep. Oh, keep the house nice and serene
and uh out of nowhere loud. I'm like, oh yeah,
just jump up. Scares the hell out of you.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
See what Rob doesn't want to tell you, and I'll
tell you because I'm candid with you. The reason that
we probably both use rain sounds is it because the
sound is so similar to applause and we need that
all the time. Nothing will make me fall asleep faster
than the sound of I mean rain, rain is what
not applause? It sounds like, oh, the soothing, soothing sounds

(47:01):
of brain slash applause. It's not my fault that they
sound so similar. Alan, my birthday is December twenty fourth,
and yes it sucks okay, well, probably probably less than
December twenty fifth. Hi, Allan and Rob.

Speaker 13 (47:24):
It's another mic from Parma calling is everyone excited for
the barreled baress Manilo Show, which is Thursday night at
the no Mo Romo pi Ho. Like Alan Cox, my
first concert was Barreled and or Baris Manilo at Blossom back.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
In the nineties.

Speaker 13 (47:42):
Unfortunately I cannot make it. It is my bowling night.
Can you hit the post on my karaoke go to
Copa Cabana love me Z.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
It was like, yeah, thank you, Mike, Well, I forgot
Barreled Manilow is tomorrow night.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Yeah. There.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
I had a brief conversation with my mom about her
coming to Cleveland because it's the Farewell Tour tomorrow night.
They'll wor at the Rocket Arena. It is the last
time Barry Manilow will play in Cleveland. Barreled Yeah, Comana said,
and what a yeah, what a week post that was.

(48:24):
I'm sorry, Mike, Oh god, what a twenty four seconds
redo it about a hundred poets of a dobble. You
have got some tickets for Barreled Manilo. That's the full
day of This guy's real name is Globo Defrigerator. Coming

(48:45):
out of Farewell Tour. Good bade Barry. It's about about
the Rocket riddle take it's so available, just kid. This
sold out song here called Copase All right, that's really good.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Pause right, how about.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Some rain for a barrel Manila. There you go, let
it all rain down, copa cabana Again, That's the stuff
I grew up listening to I'm the Buzzard Burial tomorrow night.
I I don't know why I was. Again, it's not
really on my radar. So thank you Mike for reminding

(49:31):
me of that. But there had been a brief conversation
with my mom some months ago about, hey, do you
think that you'd want to come to Cleveland to see
the Barrier. Now I could have just as easily taken
her to the Chicago stop, but I thought, oh, well,
this would be an opportunity for my mom to hang out.
She come to come to Cleveland, and she politely declined,

(49:51):
And so I said, Okay, you.

Speaker 14 (49:53):
Want to load up on some Worder's originals and walk
over after the show tomorrow?

Speaker 3 (50:00):
No, I don't think so. Sure, Yeah, I mean it
could be a good way for us to meet people.
I wonder if he had that strikes me as a
show where there's not going to be an opener. You know,
back in the day, that would be a show where
the opener was a comedian. Right, all those guys that
have been around for one hundred years, Bill Marjorie Seinfeld
and all those guys, that generation of comedians, Jay Leno.
You know, those were the gigs like when you really

(50:22):
started getting some notice, you'd be opening for musical acts,
so you do arenas, and they were terrible gigs for
the comedians because you know, it's just like a band
that opens. People didn't come for you unless they're me.
And sometimes I'll come for the opener ladies and gentlemen.
Rich little, yeah, rich little in front of like Diana
Ross or something.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
When I've had Bill Marram before, he's like, oh, yeah,
it's open for Patty LaBelle. Nobody cared. You know, you
got ten minutes in front and so. But Barry Manilow
strikes me as a guy that maybe just doesn't even
have an opener, that it's just him. He comes out
probably in the round. See now I'm working myself into

(51:04):
walking over there tomorrow night. You think he's in the round, Yeah,
I bet he is, really well because I think literally
when I saw him as a kid with my mom,
he was in the round.

Speaker 14 (51:13):
Yeah, he's just so goddamn old. Now he kind of
assume he's not like running around doing stuff. Well he
wasn't then, I mean, that's not really the I don't know.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
He was always quite the showman, and so obviously as
a younger man he was probably a bit more spry.
He's eighty one now, but I don't know. Maybe he's
still out there doing stuff.

Speaker 14 (51:32):
His face is only six, so it's yeah, you know,
it's not bad, right, Just the rest of them is
where the problem is.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
We should go over.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
I'm telling you.

Speaker 14 (51:43):
Pockets full of Worthers buying listeners. H Hi, I'm Rob.
Have you ever listened to the show. Here's a Worthers
please listen?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Hi? How are you well?

Speaker 3 (51:52):
Alan Cox show logos on the Worthers. Yes, yeah, Well anyway,
that's tomorrow night and then he'll do Grand Rapids in
Vegas and a bunch of other cities. Could work the
AARP table. Yeah, but you know what you say that,
and I think you're right. That is going to be
the bulk of that audience. But there are younger people,

(52:13):
because of their parents or their grandparents, you know, people
who have some nostalgia for that our boss. Yeah, so
he's probably absolutely going to Oh yeah, I think he'll
go with Doue I think Dougie's into it too. Okay,
well now, and now you've talked me out of it.
And what's their nuts out there? They called Santa Rachel, Rachel,
you've talked me out of it. Thank you. I was

(52:35):
on the precipice of going, oh, that sounds like a
mildly good idea, and you talked me out of it.

Speaker 14 (52:40):
I mean, that's that we're not going to be around them,
walk around there just macking suck. Yeah, so then we
look wicked young. Oh my god, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Yeah, how you doing?

Speaker 3 (52:56):
How about I got a funny fixer much?

Speaker 12 (52:58):
Just hit on me, Gert.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
You know, how about if I take it back to
my suite, make it sound like we're opening up a
bag of pretzels.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
How about that?

Speaker 3 (53:09):
How about you and I make the macaroni in a
pot that brought my own astroglide. How about that you.

Speaker 14 (53:14):
Would be like a woman who's still pretty limber for
sixty five.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
I'll tell you what, Edna. Let mean pop that. Let's
work out them new hips. Today's the anniversary of ten
cent beer night. Oh boy, if you've been in Cleveland
for more than five minutes, you're probably hipped to ten
cent Beer Night. You know, cl Clothing Company has a shirt.
They've been selling it for a long time says ten

(53:37):
cent beer Night all through the month of June. By
the way, you can use the promo code BBQ if
you want to save twenty percent on your ten cent
Beer Night t shirt. In fact, on their Instagram today.
I haven't seen it, but I would bet anything that
that's the shirt that they're spotlighting is the ten cent
beer Night.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
And you know a lot of.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Old timers in Northeast Ohio claim to have been there.
A lot of them probably were. But if you were
as hammered as they described on ten cent beers, how
would you remember it?

Speaker 8 (54:11):
Some things are never meant to be discussed in polite society.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
Welcome to im Polite Society Show.

Speaker 8 (54:21):
On one Sevenmma, I had to apologize to a number
of people around people who had made excuses for why
they were going to be late to things on Saturday,
because I was late to my appearance on Saturday.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
I was crestfallen. It was circumstances beyond my control. You know,
I hate tardiness. I despise it as an in a person.
You know, a lot of times I'll say to people
that go what what is the quality like in a person?
A lot of people are like, I got there, ya
takmage or anything like. I don't like tardiness. I hate

(54:58):
hate being late. You know, there's the implication that your
time is more important than someone else's right, and I
never want anybody to think that anyway. I had an
appearance out in Shardon, which is a good hour you know,
from the city, and so I had to be there
at six o'clock. We were doing another one of these
Buzzard bike appearances. I was going out to a place

(55:18):
called the Hambone and I'd never been there before. I'd
been talking about all week how excited I was. And
I was late because I shredded my tire on the
highway and it wasn't even on the way there. It
could have been a lot worse, but I was on
my way home. I was almost home. This is like
three in the afternoon on Saturday, and I had been

(55:39):
in here doing some work, and so I'm on my
way home. I'm like, I'm gonna check my dog real quick.
I'm gonna freshen myself up. Rob I can't go to
my appearance looking like I just walked out of the studio.
I had to freshen myself up, and of course that
requires the system of levers and pulleys, and so that's
a whole other thing. I was on ninety West. This

(56:00):
is three in the afternoon on Saturday. I'm literally two
exits from my exit, and I hear this like but
but you know kind of thing, and I go, what
the hell's going on? And I had the music cranked, right,
I got my death metal cranked in the car, rob
and I turn it off and I listen, and this
noise is getting louder, and then my tire pressure my

(56:21):
low tire pressure light comes on in the car. Okay,
and so I pull over to the shoulder again. I'm
two exits from my own home and I pull over
to the shoulder, and I thought, well, maybe I can
just drive slowly on this. I just thought I had
a flat, right, Well, as I like slowed down and
opened my car door to look, put my hazards on
a little bit of smoke. So if I had kept going,

(56:44):
I would have like shreded the rim too, right, So
I don't know what I hit because the tire itself
is not that old. I mean, the tire is maybe
a few months old, and U but it was shredded
on the rim, So I don't know what the hell happened.
And so I go, okay, well I'll throw the spear on.
And so I go into my truy. I have a
bunch of things in my trunk, and so I pull

(57:04):
all of them out and I set them up there
on the shoulder and I go in to get the
spare and I'm gonna put it on my car. Now,
mind you, I've had this car for ten years. I've
never had to go in and use the spare. All
I've ever done is to open up the liner to
make sure that I do, in fact have a spare.
And that was a long time ago. So I didn't
realize I, for whatever reason, there was no cross wrench

(57:28):
in my car. Really, that's what I said. I'm like,
every car I've ever had, there's a spare, a tiny jack,
and a cross wrench. No crosswrench. So I got the
tiny jack and a spare, and I go, you are
kidding me. And it wasn't hidden somewhere else in the car.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
No, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
I'm like, how can this be? So now I got
to call it toe. I don't have Triple A or
anything like that, right. I used to have Triple A,
but I never used it, and I paid for it
every year, and people go, well, you don't use it
till you need it. Yeah, okay, well they had it forever.
I never won used it when I had it. That's
the way things go, now, right, I mean anyway, So

(58:06):
I go, okay, So I put everything back in my trunk,
and I start googling, you know, tow, and I call.
I call a place near me that I usually will
take my car, and the guy was like, I go,
do you guys just fix or do you tow?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
And he goes, no, we don't.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Okay, So I call like one of the first numbers
I see in the Google there, and I get this
company that I guess dispatches out to toe companies. And
I'm talking to this guy and he's not understanding me
very well. He sounds like he's working at a call
center in another country.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Let's say that.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Okay, So that's fine. So I get in my car
so it's not overly noisy and that he can hear
me and understand me. And I'm going back and forth
with this guy, and we finally figure out. I'm tell
him where I need to go. I had to call
a handful of tire places to make sure that they
had the tire I need.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
I have the most common car on the road.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
I'm driving a Ford Fusion, but I got I don't
want to go somewhere and they find out they don't
have that tire. So first I find a place that
could get me that exact tire. Okay, And so then
the toe the Toe guy calls me back, and this
guy's gonna call you again, and I'm just I'm sitting
there by the roadside, sitting there by the roadside, waiting,
and the guy calls me and goes, toe will be

(59:24):
there in forty to fifty minutes. I'm like, okay, So
I'm closing in on four o'clock. I'm supposed to be
in Shardon at six. And that's how far from your house.
It's an hour from my house. Okay. Yeah, there's no
way I'm gonna make it at this point, right because
it's not like the tow guy is gonna show. He
showed up maybe ten minutes early.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
He was great.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
This this the guy Brandon runs a brown towing and roadside.
This guy was awesome, and so in the future, if
I unfortunately need something like this, I'm gonna call this guy.
But so I'm sitting there for maybe a half an
hour and this car pulls up in front of me,

(01:00:01):
and I go, okay on the shoulder, and a guy
gets out and he walks over and it's Bill from Lakewood,
who calls the show and I've met on a number
of occasions, and he goes, I thought that was I go,
how the hell do you know what my car looks like?

Speaker 12 (01:00:18):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
How would you possibly have known that was me? I
guess Bill from Lakewood is an eagle eyed listener.

Speaker 12 (01:00:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
And so he was like, do you need help?

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
Deanie? Right?

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
I go, no, thank you so much. Man, I go,
I got a toe coming. There's no point in me.
I'm not going to leave my car here. Obviously there's
no point in me leaving the car because the toe
guy is coming. But of all the random people to
pull up a guy who I still I didn't get
into a big long conversation with him. I wanted to

(01:00:49):
be able to be on his way, But I have
no idea how Bill knew that that was my car
or whatever. And so the tow guy shows up, but
an hour later gets me to a tire spot in
Avon and I said to the guy, I go look man,
And it was dead in there, right, it's like a
Saturday at four thirty. They're open till six. And I
said to the guy, go, can you guys get a
tire on this?

Speaker 12 (01:01:08):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
I'm like, can you throw a tire on there? This
should not be a big deal. Again, if I had
had the cross wrench, I would have been able to
throw on my own spare to get me out. He goes,
oh no, no, hey have throw it up there on
the lift and they did pretty quick work. So I
got out of there at five forty five and I
texted Amy, who's our promotion st I said, I am
on my way it is. It will take me exactly

(01:01:30):
one hour. And I got out to Shardon at six
forty five. So it could have been a hell of
a lot worse. Really, I try to be a glass
half full guy. I mean if I had blown a
tire out in the middle of nowhere on the way
to Shardon, that would have been a whole other thing. Well,
how fast were you going when you noticed the tire
was not going?

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
That fast.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
I was probably doing the speed limit on ninety West
because I knew my exit was coming up. But that's
still probably what sixty yeah, sixty five around there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Yeah, it's so.

Speaker 14 (01:01:57):
Dangerous losing a tire man like that's thank god nothing happened,
I guess, I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
Crazy, Yeah it was. Yeah, I'm glad that I hadn't
gone any farther than that, because it would have been
a real because if it's like you know, you got
all kinds of other problems, if you mess up an
axle or anything like that, it would have been a
whole deal. And there's no way that I can, like
uber to shardon, right, I guess you can, but I
could have. But anyway, so I apologize to the people

(01:02:22):
because there were a handful of people who and obviously
they got the word out there on site at the
Hambone that I was running late, and so everybody was
very nice when I got there. And but I hate, hate,
hate being and I'm thank you. I hate being late,
but I was all I could picture was a bill
from Lakewood passing by the first time. So, hey, that

(01:02:44):
looks like Ali coot Swings gets off. The next day,
he's still there. Well, the thing is I was right
near the Clague exit for people who know that takes
you into west Lake there, and my exit is too
down from that. There's real It's not one of those
exits you can get off and then spin around and
get back on, like you got to go a very

(01:03:04):
circuitous route if you're gonna take that to get back
on the highway.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
So but it was just it was a comedy of errors.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
When this happened, I'm like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
Well, I get the law of average says this was
gonna happen to me at some point, but it unfortunately
happened a few hours before I was supposed to be somewhere.
And you know a lot of our appearances are like
you know, in town ish, right, So it just happened
to be on a night where I had to take
I already had an hour just to get out. Even
if I was on time, it was taking me an
hour or so. So anyway, thank you to Bill from Lakewood. Again,

(01:03:37):
I am completely confounded as to how he knew it
was me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
But you know, it was fine.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
We had a good time out in Shardon. I had
to be very careful because I mentioned Shardon and people
are like, uh, this is Hamden like okay, AnyWho, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Know the finer point just read the paper.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
Yes, I don't know the finer points of your redistricting
out here.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
But everybody was fine and fun and it was a
good time and thanks to everybody involved.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
I'm sitting right now on the beach Bethany Beach in Delaware,
listening to the show on iHeart You. Ever been to
Bethany Beach? No, sir, it's up the shore from Ocean City, Maryland.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
I've been there.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
If yeah, you go, maybe twenty miles north up the shore,
there can be in Bethany Beach. I'm with my sister
and brother in law who used to listen to you
when you were in Pittsburgh. Oh no, you know back
in the day.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
This guy was on. I remember him.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
It's awesome that we can bring you to our location
and listen to you while hanging with the fam. Two cities,
one show, one show, ow wow. That can you imagine
Rob in the middle of people, Because what do you
most closely associate with beach listening the Ollencock That's what

(01:05:01):
I was going to say. I mean, I know that
when I'm out on the beach. See I have like
these people are fully in the twenty first century, and
I commend them for it. When I go to the beach.
You know, I'll be in Austin in a few days,
and I always go to Lake Travis for a bit.
There's a place down there called the Hippie Hollow, which
is a nude beach. And of course what I do,

(01:05:22):
rob is I go down there. I have an old
school boom box on my shoulder. Right back in the
day they call it a Detto blaster, but that became problematic.
So an old school boombox, double cassette, and you know,
I'm blaring whatever the hits of the day might be

(01:05:43):
some rat invasion of your privacy, Oh yeah, whatever, you know.
But these people, God bless them. They got us on
the app and they're listening there at Bethany Beach in Delaware,
and thank you. I wonder what level they're listening to
us at, you know what I mean, Like, is it
loud enough that people can hear what we're saying or
just like them is then I really want to just

(01:06:04):
start saying odd things so people look at them and
be like, what, Welcome to beautiful Bethany beach where the
ladies people over one's mind who obvious to be walking
by people coming from all over the country from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
and northeast Ohio to enjoy the sights and sounds of

(01:06:25):
Bethany Beach, a beach so nice they named it after
a lady named Bethany. Unfortunately, the story takes a dark turn.
Bethany Young enjoyed her time and what used to be
called just the beach, and unfortunately she drowned shortly, not
that far into the water. You know, they say, most
people can drown in a couple of inches of water,

(01:06:46):
and Bethany Young died at what was called the beach
in Delaware. Upon her untimely death and subsequent general they
named the beach after the beach. It used to be
called the beach, the beach. The locals in laware say,
let's go to the beach, even though they have dozens

(01:07:09):
of miles of coastline there and stay on top of
that sunscreen. Indeed, uh some thanks guys for listening out there.
And yes, Bethany Beach, the beach, the beach. Well, they
tried to do this whole big baseball game at a

(01:07:29):
NASCAR track and people are calling it the fire Festival
of Matrithy base I mean, it's no one's fault, you
know what I mean, fire festival. That was everyone's fault
at Billy McFarlane at Scammer. But this was just bad
weather coming in. This was the Braves and the Cincinnati Reds.
This is going to be a huge, huge event. They

(01:07:50):
retrofitted a NASCAR track, their Bristol Motor Speedway in Tennessee.
They constructed an entire baseball field in the middle of
the racetrack. You know, they're always trying to come up
with ways to sell tickets and get people blah blah
blah out there, and they sold a record It was
a record setting attendance. People who wanted to go to this.
Ninety one thousand, thirty two tickets were sold, the all

(01:08:14):
time regular season single game attendance record. Well it got
rained out. Possible scenario, worst possible scenarios. The thing got
rained out. I'll show you a little bit of the
video here from people who were there's some of it
there to baseball game in the racetrack. What do you

(01:08:36):
think about that in the middle of a racetrack. Can
you believe who are the ad Wizards who came up
with this, and uh, ninety one thousand people there. Then
they covered up the field. There were people in ponchos,
They ran out of food because at that point people
were like, well, let's see what happens. They said about

(01:08:58):
a quarter of the people came back for the game
the next day, which is still a lot of people,
by the way, but they didn't end up with ninety
one thousand people, and so it was just bad luck.
People who were in attendance described it as the Major
League Baseball version of the Firefest. So yeah, they suspended

(01:09:21):
it and they said we'll play it again tomorrow. At
one imagine ninety one thousand people trying to get out
of there for a rainyar leg.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
We come in about four hours, five hours before game time.

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
There was a line, so just people sitting in those stadium,
well before the ponchos concerts, waiting for the game to start.

Speaker 12 (01:09:43):
Food.

Speaker 3 (01:09:44):
Yeah, yeah, you have some of that food. I'm sure
it did.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
I had a couple of the different hot dogs they
had here.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
They had and these poor guys on the mic have
to vamp the whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Hot dog.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
Literally bottom of the first I think they called the game.
People are standing there. By the way, if you are
a Cincinnati Reds fan, you're used to indignity. I don't
know what to tell you. You're a fool and you're
used to questioning your life choices. Good thing is you
balanced it out by a good soundtrack. While they're there,
little stones up. Nobody looks happy. All these people were

(01:10:17):
super excited to be there. Some people under umberellas, Oh my,
that looks quite emasculating that I remember. Anyway, the food
was gone in a hurry, as you might suspect, and
they had created all of this stuff specifically for this
because they were I don't know if you heard, like say,
baseball failed in the middle of a race track, so

(01:10:41):
they had street corn. I don't understand everyone's obsession with
street corn. Okay, egg rolls and hot dogs. And the
food was completely gone before the game even started. I mean,
you have ninety one thousand people and this is one
of those things too, where people will you know, when
you try something like this, it's always a canary in

(01:11:04):
a coal mine. You don't want to go to the
first one, because even if it doesn't get rained out,
you're still going to have the same complaints. This is
just those organizations going, let's try this and see what happens.
Let's use ninety one thousand people as guinea pigs, right,
because it's not going to go off without a hitch,
even if you're not dealing with in clement weather. So

(01:11:26):
they go, let's just see what happens, and then they
use the people who got there. You're part of an
experiment to see how that they can make it a
great experience next time. You were there for the first one.
It's like the first iteration of any new technology. Right,
I don't need to be a first adopter. I don't
need the beta version. I'll wait until you've figured at

(01:11:49):
gotten all the bugs out, sitting in the rain, no
food to be found. They ran out of food before
the national anthem?

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
How about that?

Speaker 3 (01:11:55):
God, imagine waiting in those lines, and then you get
back there, you get your on chean and you know
everybody went for the concession stands because of the guy
that was singing the AI we hails.

Speaker 5 (01:12:09):
The Twilights last leaving, who's brought stripe.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
Sun bright stars were so command.

Speaker 5 (01:12:19):
Leave there as the rockets were there, and the Twilights
last leaving and the rockets rag.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
Were so gallan tale there burst ripes.

Speaker 5 (01:12:41):
Were all there, and the rockets were there.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
There you go, it just gets worse. It gets worse
and worse. What an appropriate rendition for the last days
of a crumbling empire. So the hot dog buns were
the Hello, the hot dog buns were the first thing
to go. They started serving hot dogs on a pile
of chips a photo here. They were just getting like

(01:13:10):
tostitos rounds and putting raw wieners on them. They also
ran out of the nacho cheese. You know what kind
of cheese is mine? Rob, I don't nacho cheese. I
get it beer and peanuts. They said that they were
the last to go, but they were pretty hard to
come by, and some people are complaining you got knowing

(01:13:32):
you one thousand people you heard to know. Of course
they knew you are an experiment. Frankly, I can't believe
they got ninety one thousand people out there. Well, if
you look at it, dude, there's not a good seat
in the house.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
That's what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
It just looks like you went to go.

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
I don't know, because it's not like it's all braves
or Reds fans. So I'm like, oh man, I cannot
imagine what is the what is the upside to this
to say you went.

Speaker 14 (01:14:04):
I bought them tickets I could get and I still
couldn't see who was that bad?

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
Yeah, you could tell people you went and stay home.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
I was there.

Speaker 3 (01:14:13):
Rob was there. I mean, it's amazing that he's back.
I mean he got he got choppered in with Tino. Yeah,
that's the beauty of it.

Speaker 10 (01:14:21):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
Rob has a pretty extensive rider, and so it was
in coming upon the organization to make sure that he
got there in time.

Speaker 14 (01:14:30):
Well that's why you couldn't take the company helicopter to
Sharden because.

Speaker 3 (01:14:34):
I had it, sorry, company helicopter had I heard media
a bit of chopper right here, Coline Ellacox the roadside
ted a tire, need to get him over to Shardon.
I'm sorry, I already have a click rattler up here.
We're here to a prist motor Tennessee. Let's look back
around here, cock on one of it.

Speaker 8 (01:15:00):
He's double MMS Cleveland an iHeartRadio station.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
Pro tip.

Speaker 3 (01:15:07):
If a cop pulls you over and nay hear you
listening to.

Speaker 14 (01:15:10):
This, we're probably just gonna let you go cause you know,
I figured.

Speaker 2 (01:15:14):
You suffered enough.

Speaker 8 (01:15:16):
Yellen Car Show on one hundred point seven double Mms.

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Two one six five seven eight one double oh seven
or eight hundred and three four eight one double oh
seven three five one two. If you want to text
six o'clock, we'll play winery or rehab goin some the sheet.

Speaker 2 (01:15:38):
David Hell is here.

Speaker 3 (01:15:39):
He is at Hilarious Fourth Street tonight and tomorrow seven
point thirty and ten o'clock tonight, and then tomorrow night
shows seven to nine thirty, and then he is off
to Parts unknown, so see him this weekend. He is
just at a tel on Twitter David tail dot com
where you can get roadwork the Brandy disc for five
bucks help support Operation per Right. What is Operation Purple?

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
Operation Purple is a charity that I'm associated with for
a military families. It sends their children to like a
special summer camp where they get to like handle all
their many different needs that like normal.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
Kids don't really go through.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
I mean normal, I mean just why kids whose parents
aren't multiply deployed or have been wounded in action and
all that kind of stuff. So it's really, uh, it's
really a great, great cause and the people who have
been supporting it. You know, like I personally am really
embedded in and I've given my own money. And you
know what I did is with the roadwork and all
that kind of stuff. I said, you know, if you
guys download, you know, I will give another twenty five

(01:16:38):
thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
I'd already given money, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
And it's funny, the downlads didn't really support it, but
the support was there, so I still gave the money.
And you know, the people were so cool with it.
They were like, thank you so much. This is going
to really help out the camp. And they just love
they just love these kids and they really really it's great.
It's just like you know, the support from Wounded Warrior
to like I've done from the USO to the Wounded
Warrior to now this is the next thing where the

(01:17:01):
troops are coming home and they need so much care,
you know, and at the end of the day, it
ends up with the family. The family has to really
fill that void, and we need to support the families.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:17:11):
Is it a new episode of Comedy editor Ground this weekend?

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
Oh? No, that show? We did the eight episodes, so
now it's all on.

Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
Look, we said digital, you know, and I was going
to say that, you know, you brought up the insomni thing,
and I don't really talk about it anymore, but I
think I should change the name of the show to
what people always think it's called, which is like, hey,
that's that dude from the Insomnia Theater.

Speaker 3 (01:17:34):
Mystery three thousand Insomnia Theater, or as the guy said
to me last night, is that Anthony Bridaine, which I thought,
that's like the classiest miss record.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
It's like, is this a Ronan chef traveling the world,
sampling the food, eating other people's food, and then taking off.
I was like that, that to me would be the
cooler job where you go to some like third world
country and eat their best food and then leave.

Speaker 4 (01:18:00):
So you should do that and then just do a
set too, Yeah exactly, yea show and then.

Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
Pay for my supper right with a little some dirty
humor that's illegal in their land.

Speaker 3 (01:18:08):
And Dave's old porn is done too.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Yeah you look at it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
You see how I'm dressed right now. Yeah, he's not
a choice. I'm a janitor right at high school somewhere.

Speaker 9 (01:18:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
No, yeah, I'm right now, I'm on the road.

Speaker 3 (01:18:20):
And hopefully you know you're writing twenty five thousand dollars
checks to military.

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
Yeah, that was my That's when I got a little
Comedy Central coin because I had been broke before that sho,
I figured, I, you know, tip it back up. But now,
you know, I think I'm right now, I'm level, So
you know, I'll go on on the road and uh,
you know, paid down the mortgage and that's about it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:38):
You know. So how so you live in New York?
Is that kind of your home base?

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
Yeah, that's my base.

Speaker 3 (01:18:42):
So how do you kind of keep it pure? Obviously
you're a road guy, you're a club guy, right, you know,
comedies your life. How do you keep it pure? I
would imagine there's a part of human nature where, no
matter what you're doing creatively, everybody kind of goes I'd
kind of like to be here by this point. How
do you keep that at bay when you go, well,

(01:19:03):
I'm here and I got to make some money before
because I got a mortgage payment.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
You know, it's funny because you know, I think you're
asking like a really cool question that a lot of
people have to deal with in their lives, which is like,
how do you how do you keep doing the one
thing that you really want to do or the one
thing that like that you know you're supposed to do,
when there's all these other different things that you might
want to do distractions. And I always wanted to be
a great comic. I wanted to be like Bill Hicks

(01:19:30):
or Sam Kennis and something like that. And then I realized,
probably about ten years ago, I'm never going to be
a great comic. So I'm going to try and be
as good a comic as possible. Well, what constantly is
being a great comic? Though I think a lot I
think you might be. I'm not a great comic.

Speaker 2 (01:19:42):
Now, what makes you say that?

Speaker 13 (01:19:43):
That?

Speaker 4 (01:19:44):
Very very humble? Right now, I'm absolutely a great comic.

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
I think I'm the I think I'm like you see
the movie Roadhouse. Sure, I'm the Sam Elliott. I think
the sense I really don't know how to fight. You know,
it's like all bar tricks, you know, I'm saying, like
just throw down biker, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:20:00):
Smoke and mirrors.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
Yeah, whereas Patrick Swayze, god bless.

Speaker 1 (01:20:03):
So it was like the trained you know, artists, whatever wisdom,
I really am up there, you know, for me, it's
always like, you know, this is this is gonna be
a fun fun you know, it's gonna be a fun role.
And I try to make sure the jokes aren't easy,
but they're also they're also like there's a lot of
comics who like have a different level of like pure
purity of the of the material. Like I think Doug

(01:20:24):
Stanope is probably my my template of like what like
a real road you know, like super hardcore bar comic
is like.

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
Being fearless to that degree fearless.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
And also just like his fan base gets that like
the stuff that he says and the material that he
chooses cannot be done anywhere else sure, and that it
really is like a type of thinking that not everybody does.
And you know in terms of like you know, people
talk about Lucy Kane, all these people, these people are
also like masters at what they do.

Speaker 3 (01:20:52):
So because it is not in that grouping but you
have but you you are with them, and that you
have a very specific point of you though.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
Well thank you. But I'd like to think I throw
a lot of jokes out. Most of them are okay,
some are good. So I'm in a volume business.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
You think of.

Speaker 3 (01:21:08):
Yourself as like a journeyman. Then you're just kind of
plug plug plugging away. Plus exactly, I'm like the guy
on the ak who just sprays the whole room. You know,
these guys, these guys snipers. I'm like, everybody's gonna get
a piece.

Speaker 18 (01:21:20):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:21:21):
Well, because there are a lot of there. You'll hear
when when comics talk about comedy. You will hear people
refer to for a long time, I was doing Dave
a tel Uh. You know, you'll hear a lot of
black comics go for a long time, I was doing
Chappell or is doing Paul Mooney. You will hear guys
go for a long time, I was doing a tell.
So there is a template there that is yours that

(01:21:43):
in that community is recognized as being something specific.

Speaker 1 (01:21:46):
Well yeah, and people say like you're a comics comic
and all that kind of stuff. I think the comics,
you know, like the comics have never been tighter as
a group because I think these podcasts and everything like
that kind of like it kind of like became like
are like uh, you know self you know, like self
reflection pool now of like just all us talking about comedy, which,
you know, it's cool that people want to hear it.
But I think the fact that we're talking so much

(01:22:07):
about comedy now it does take away some of the
mystery magic of it, if you ask me. But it
really is like you see, like every comic is like,
you know, like we all are always like fighting same
demons and also like we're trying to get through the
next level, you know. So that's cool. Yeah, that they
that they you know, I guess invitation is flattery or whatever.
China something, China's flattery, that's piracy.

Speaker 3 (01:22:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 20 (01:22:31):
It's nice that there are those levels of comedians though,
you know what I mean, levels of I guess would
be fame or you know, you have their work in comics,
you have you know, the guys that are on the
TV shows, the people in movies that kind of thing,
and the people who sell out theaters and stuff.

Speaker 17 (01:22:47):
I like that there's that kind of diversity.

Speaker 1 (01:22:51):
Within the Yeah, I mean, it's cool that you get
to go to club and you get to see like
all different levels of comedy. You know, usually the guy
who brings out the crowd is the is the guy
with the name, And there's a lot of guys in
comedy who, like you know, are famous or like legitimately,
like they've.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
Done movies, they have a TV show, they've done all this.

Speaker 1 (01:23:09):
Different stuff, and people, especially now because we live in
the world of the media the social media, is like
they want to see that guy because that's the guy
that they saw on the net or the web or whatever,
and then all these other guys and like, like you
talked about Big J. Big J open for me for years.
I can't follow him now he's so good. But during
during that whole period, people would come up to him

(01:23:30):
and go like, dude, you are hilarious. I never heard
about you, or like you should have closed the show.
And I never ever take that as like an insult
because it's like, yeah, why do you think I brought
him out because he's a great comic.

Speaker 4 (01:23:40):
Yeah, you're not bringing out a Soft Middle too, Yeah,
to try and make you look good. You're you're trying
to show showcase of good comic. And then that's that's
really admirable.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
But I would love to have a comic whose name
was Soft Middle. That'd be the ultimate. If I can
go a round with you, I will legally change my
name to say you have to end with a rap.
I hope you were in a fan because.

Speaker 12 (01:24:04):
Well my.

Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
Thought by thong got a little riddle A soft middle,
all right, So good work, Bill, soft middle buddy, all right,
that's your that's your See, he doesn't need any more,
uh pseudonyms. Bill's already got a bunch of alter egos
and that's been on so many I.

Speaker 2 (01:24:23):
Like the beard, though, that's a new thing, right, No,
I've had the beard for years ago. When you work
with me, you didn't have it. I had a beard.
It wasn't fully grown in like that.

Speaker 10 (01:24:31):
It was.

Speaker 4 (01:24:31):
Yeah, it looks like beard. You just you're being nice.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
And yeah, no, it seems it seems like you've shaped
and sculpted in a bit.

Speaker 4 (01:24:40):
It might be a little thicker. I kept it a
little shorter.

Speaker 21 (01:24:43):
Maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
Well let's ask the lady in the room, what do
you think of beards? Are they over?

Speaker 17 (01:24:48):
I'm okay with beards if it's not the right person.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
What about like what do you mean by the right person? Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:24:54):
Terrorists like the five guys who let go for the
pow Those guys the beards aren't helping him.

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
Right, Well, some people not mine.

Speaker 20 (01:25:02):
When I'm not a fan of Alan's beard because he
ends up looking like Jeff Bridges, and staff bridges gray beard.

Speaker 3 (01:25:09):
No, she's she's allergic to gray hair. She's terribly great.
Yours is like a white yeah.

Speaker 17 (01:25:15):
So, but you've got like salt and pepper beard. I
can handle that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
But that's because i'm the guest. I'm sure once I
leave now, I have the homeless wizard guy. Look, that's
my that's my thing.

Speaker 17 (01:25:25):
But I feel like beards, especially for comics. It can
it can suit, it can suit people. But what I date,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:25:35):
Well, does your husband your fiance have we're not engaged yet.
We're looking oh amazing, like a Nostradamus kind of thing.
You're hoping that he's No.

Speaker 20 (01:25:46):
No, I mean we've been together for five years, known
each other for ten, so okay, we live together, so
it's kind of fun.

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
Would a beard be a deal breaker or deal maker?

Speaker 17 (01:25:56):
Oh, it wouldn't be a deal breaker, no way, no.
But he he doesn't have. The only thing he can
grow is like a go tea, and I'm very averse
to a goateee.

Speaker 20 (01:26:04):
I would prefer a full beard over a go tea
any day, because then you just look like a backstreet
boy or something, right, or a biker or something.

Speaker 2 (01:26:12):
I don't know, is he a biker? No, well then
he can't do it.

Speaker 17 (01:26:16):
He's a musician, which is.

Speaker 1 (01:26:20):
How about a mutton chop to play metal? He loves metal,
but you can only have mutton chops now for.

Speaker 17 (01:26:29):
Metal. He's like a baby face, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:26:31):
Right, So I don't know. All right, Well, try not
to step on this great mutton chop joke.

Speaker 1 (01:26:38):
Would you agree that if you have mutt jobs, you
either have to play metal or become a professional ghost hunter.
Those are the only two viable careers. Or you're what
you call it your you help the Amish get out
of their cult.

Speaker 4 (01:26:52):
You're in between between the US community and it's like, yeah,
like you're there, like the runaway railroad for the Amish,
follow get in. The Muttons hops are a symbol to them.
They're like, we'll help you transition.

Speaker 1 (01:27:04):
If I if you watch those shows like where it's
like breaking homage, like where they were they escape, Yeah,
you know they have this weird thing.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
I would definitely like, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:27:11):
Like when the car pulls up, it's like the car's
gonna pull up and now you have to come out,
Like you see the kid with the lantern and it
comes out. I would love to yell at that kid
like all this like really like degrading stuff like quick,
get in, get in.

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
The horse's puck. No, not on the hood. There's no
horse under that. Get in, get in the get in
the English doors.

Speaker 4 (01:27:30):
Just really like make it as uncomfortable as possible for them. Yeah,
just like they've never seen a car like do it.
Like those aren't snakes, those are seatbelts.

Speaker 2 (01:27:38):
Put them on. This iron horse is scaring me. Yeah,
now magical air is gonna hit you. Yes, that's glass.

Speaker 4 (01:27:45):
That's not that's not an open air thing that there's windows.

Speaker 2 (01:27:48):
And now it's some devil's breath. That's what they call music.

Speaker 3 (01:27:56):
You have a girl, Dave, what's your deal? No, I
would like you're like an or something.

Speaker 1 (01:28:00):
No, I'd like to get married this year, and I
think we're going to take it to Shaker Heights because
I'm a jew.

Speaker 2 (01:28:05):
You guys have some amazingly what's beach one?

Speaker 3 (01:28:09):
Beech wood?

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
Beech wood Wood? Is that another Jewish community? Yes, a
nice one. That'd be great. And then we'll I guess
we'll do something. Corn beef. You guys have a lot
of corn beef here. Yeah, we love corn beef. Why
is that.

Speaker 3 (01:28:20):
Why why do you guys like so much corn? Because
we were trying to eat ourselves to depth.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
You guys like food.

Speaker 4 (01:28:25):
I get it, we'd love food.

Speaker 1 (01:28:26):
You guys, you're not afraid of food, and that's good
to see. I think all of Ohio has a food
and going because so.

Speaker 3 (01:28:32):
Much of the year is inclement weather that just hibernate
and eat.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
Yeah, but you know you can say that about anybody.

Speaker 1 (01:28:37):
I would say that you guys are connected to the
food because you grow it, you appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (01:28:42):
Oh, we're closer to the land.

Speaker 4 (01:28:43):
Yeah, oh yeah, but we still eat all the same
processed garbage that everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
I was trying to make you guys better than.

Speaker 4 (01:28:50):
Wait to look at it, we're just fatter than you
because we don't have to walk as much.

Speaker 1 (01:28:54):
Well, I think it also has to do with the smoking.
You guys like stopped all the cigarette smoking. You guys
can't do any of this.

Speaker 4 (01:29:00):
We're trying to replace it with marijuana though, like you said.

Speaker 1 (01:29:02):
Yeah, no, I think this would be a very well.
There are some like uh like pod friendly places in
Ohio right they're.

Speaker 4 (01:29:09):
Trying to get there.

Speaker 2 (01:29:10):
Colleges a lot of college college.

Speaker 4 (01:29:11):
Like the normal hits me up from time to time
to do stuff for them, to try and promote marijuana awareness.
If people don't know about it.

Speaker 12 (01:29:19):
What is this plan?

Speaker 3 (01:29:21):
I've never heard of you.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
I think that pot, you know, will eventually, uh not
only will it be legal, it'll be mandatory for some people.

Speaker 2 (01:29:29):
Don't you think I would love that. It takes some
of the mean out of these kids.

Speaker 3 (01:29:32):
I like it.

Speaker 4 (01:29:33):
Yeah, all the potential school shooters, we just get them high.

Speaker 2 (01:29:36):
Yeah, I don't know that a lot of people have
brought that up. Do you think that would work?

Speaker 4 (01:29:40):
I don't think it's it's worth a try.

Speaker 3 (01:29:41):
Really, you got to get them laid, get them high
and laid, maybe not in that order, but something you
take those both into their lives.

Speaker 1 (01:29:51):
It's really difficult. It's it's really hard to talk about.
I'm still working on that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:54):
Amis too for school shooters.

Speaker 1 (01:30:00):
No, you know what it is, really it's it's it's
the pot and the kids, and like you know, some
of these kids, like they're already so they're all hooked
up on the prescription drugs.

Speaker 4 (01:30:08):
I guess pot might be a letdown for them, you know, Yeah,
but they're how you're gonna compete with that at all.
But that's an upper they need. They need something to
mellow them out rather than get them them out. Yeah,
we got We all should go home and watch Drugs Inc.

Speaker 2 (01:30:21):
Do you watch it?

Speaker 3 (01:30:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:30:22):
Anytime there's a marathon, I'd like record it and just
like go through them.

Speaker 2 (01:30:26):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:30:27):
Lock Lockdown is another.

Speaker 2 (01:30:29):
These are all like comic show.

Speaker 1 (01:30:30):
Like I feel like every comic in America, we all
end up watching the same like five shows, Locked Up
a broad Drugs Inc. Hoarders, Hoarders Exactly, Hoarders, Honey Boo Boo, Storage,
Talas and tierras.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
Oh now it's getting creepy. Yeah, night Basketball Wives.

Speaker 3 (01:30:50):
I love the nineties.

Speaker 2 (01:30:52):
Naked and Afraid? Do you guys watch it? Yeah?

Speaker 20 (01:30:55):
Watch a couple of episodes and what's your your TLC one?
The house is a little company?

Speaker 2 (01:31:00):
Are oh? Sex?

Speaker 1 (01:31:00):
Sent me to the e R assertions? Yeah that's what
I want tattooed on my knuckles. Naked and Afraid? What's
your knuck tat? If you can pick any it's good?
Ohio talk but and then f word? Oh yeah, wow life,
what would you go with?

Speaker 3 (01:31:20):
I have no clue.

Speaker 2 (01:31:22):
Oh I I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:31:24):
I'd get U would you get.

Speaker 2 (01:31:25):
A TV one like, we'll be right back. That's a
lot of knuckles. Yeah, I have no idea.

Speaker 4 (01:31:30):
See that's why I want. I want a knuckle appropriate.
I don't want to have to get two letters on
one knuckle, small hands. I want to get global warming
is real for reel. But then you get it like
spell it out and exactly for real?

Speaker 17 (01:31:43):
The number four?

Speaker 2 (01:31:44):
How about ladies real?

Speaker 12 (01:31:46):
Oh, I get something girl lame like love life or
you know, loving life is lame? Peace and love or
something nicorn, yeah or something.

Speaker 2 (01:31:56):
What about that new movie where the girl's got that
tube under her nose? How about that? That would be
the fault is in the Oh yeah, I'm who said that?
That's great?

Speaker 10 (01:32:08):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:32:09):
That what a great grab.

Speaker 15 (01:32:10):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (01:32:11):
How many times have you watched Dune High and you realize, man,
this is the worst greatest movie and I cannot believe it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:16):
And it's only six more hours to go exactly wow,
and Sting is in it and it's still good.

Speaker 1 (01:32:21):
Well with the Dune, with the Freeman beat, the zombie
apocalypse and the I like how we live in a
world of pothead nightmares zombies?

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
Right, what what's the what's the other show out? There,
there's Walking Dead there. Yeah, fr story. Do you watch
that one over watches?

Speaker 12 (01:32:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:32:40):
That just jumps from whatever, like like right now. The
last one was Witches, so it's coming. But then they
keep throwing in everything else they can they keep my
True Blood, the vampire one.

Speaker 2 (01:32:52):
I never liked that show.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
Did you say law School was att I know it's
like pothead Nightmares, zombie law School?

Speaker 2 (01:33:00):
You know, like, no, I'm not into that. True this
is why you're not one of those up you know what?

Speaker 3 (01:33:07):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:33:07):
What got me it was because it was like New
Orleans people, but it was like Hollywood kids speaking New
Orleans like.

Speaker 2 (01:33:14):
You like, they're really like.

Speaker 4 (01:33:19):
I only like like when it's people speaking Southern they
can only say one word with the accent correctly and
then the rest is all. It's all like an energy
and that they're hot. So you want to see what
they look like too, usually I guess so.

Speaker 3 (01:33:32):
Blood and boobs over a.

Speaker 2 (01:33:33):
Penny penny dreadful you guys watching that.

Speaker 9 (01:33:35):
It's not bad.

Speaker 1 (01:33:36):
It's for the people who found Downtown Abbey just a
little too.

Speaker 3 (01:33:41):
People who wonder what happened to Josh Harten.

Speaker 1 (01:33:43):
It's like Mary Poppins on crack. How do they pitch
these shows? It's like a Mary Poppins right, or like
the Downtown Abbey but with the Devil. And I watched
all those shows because, like, I feel like as a comic,
you know, you have to watch every show.

Speaker 2 (01:34:01):
I try to watch as much as I can. It's
just so much though, it's just too much mutch.

Speaker 3 (01:34:06):
I mean, there's only so much nonsense you can fit
in your brain trying to be a functioning human.

Speaker 2 (01:34:11):
Well, what about Game of Throws? You guys watch I
love I don't watch it. Watch it.

Speaker 4 (01:34:15):
I'm trying to get him on it, and he doesn't.
He doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
Well, are you in it?

Speaker 3 (01:34:19):
I like it?

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
I love it? Right? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:34:21):
No, I I really as a kid who grew up
in a Renaissance fair, I think it's about time that
people see the world that. Don't you feel sorry for
every guy who's in a renaissance fair, going like, I
cannot believe this is really my life.

Speaker 4 (01:34:34):
But the Renaissance fair is the place where those guys
actually get to flourish and they get to actually see
half a boob at least, right, So there, that's like
a good Like I feel bad for him. Yes, but
I don't feel bad. I feel bad when they have
to leave and go back to reality. No, I just
feel that Like Game of Throws, everybody's like this is
like a ground, you know, it's like so amazing. Yet
these guys do this every weekend.

Speaker 1 (01:34:55):
Yeah, somewhere at to stay fair, and like they get
no love, they get no like look at these look
at these hacks. You know becomes lord Hack. Couldn't be,
could have made it in the Game of Thrones world.
What about a Madman? Were you excited about that?

Speaker 2 (01:35:10):
I haven't. I haven't watched mad See that's a generational thing.
Al you watch it, No, I know you do. I
watch it too.

Speaker 3 (01:35:16):
Christina Hendricks's ample cleavage was not enough to keep it
really hot.

Speaker 17 (01:35:20):
Yeah, it's it's got everything. It's got the stuff for
the men, it's got the love stories for the women.

Speaker 2 (01:35:26):
You know that great smoking.

Speaker 17 (01:35:27):
I love smoking, And we were just talking smoking.

Speaker 2 (01:35:29):
Everybody smoked, dogs or.

Speaker 17 (01:35:31):
Smoking, and then they're at their job, just like drinking.

Speaker 3 (01:35:34):
And guys will want to live by carry. So remember
when you used to be able to hit a woman
and nobody complain all that you all that great stuff
the golden years.

Speaker 1 (01:35:42):
But it was like how they kind of throw in
like all the you know, crazy turbulent sixties stuff, like
you know, they had like the Beatles thing.

Speaker 2 (01:35:47):
That was like a big episode. It was like, it's like, but.

Speaker 1 (01:35:50):
Everything leads to smoking and drinking. It's like JFK was
what smoking? Drinking and screw.

Speaker 2 (01:35:57):
What's his name on the phone? Pull me a high ball.

Speaker 17 (01:36:00):
That's the whole dialogue.

Speaker 3 (01:36:01):
There's a highball. If you ever get the feeling that
he doesn't love.

Speaker 2 (01:36:07):
You, don't you love me too? Feel again?

Speaker 8 (01:36:12):
Alan Cox on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 2 (01:36:29):
Three five.

Speaker 3 (01:36:31):
If you want to send me a text alancoxshow dot
com for all the other stuff, you can email me
there Alan alancoxhow dot com. A woman on TikTok who
was screaming about the fact she was in well I.

Speaker 2 (01:36:46):
He she lives in Alaska.

Speaker 3 (01:36:48):
She wasn't visiting Alaska, she lives there, and her local
Walmart started locking the spam and she was trying to
figure out why that was. More and more places around
the country, I've a locking up large portions of their
inventory because they're trying to mitigate shoplifting. I guess the
inference here is that spam is stolen so frequently, maybe

(01:37:12):
in Alaska. You know, places like Alaska and Hawaii are
going through a hell of a lot more spam than
we are. There probably aren't a lot of cows walking
around in Alaska, but there are a lot of these
big box stores, places like Walmart and Target and Kroger
that are trying to deter all of this shoplifting. And

(01:37:33):
it makes it it's kind of a double edged sword
here because on the one hand, you understand why places
don't want their inventory ripped off, but it makes for
a way more frustrating experience for people who are just
trying to shop. You know, you go to this really
kind of jammed Walgreens up because they got to the
point where they were locking everything up. You know, Walgreens

(01:37:55):
is a Chicaga based company, and so those kinds of
policies started there and then kind of rippled their way out.
But there were certain Walgreen stores where most of the
things in the store were locked up and you'd have
to call somebody to unlock it for you. And I
guess if it's laundry detergent or razors, you can kind
of figure it out, or condoms or whatever. But once

(01:38:17):
you start locking everything up. Now, combine that with the
fact that a lot of these stores now are understaffed,
then you've got you're not going to stand there and
wait for half an hour for somebody to come over
and unlock the spam when you're just trying to make
a goddamn sandwich.

Speaker 2 (01:38:33):
I assume you go.

Speaker 3 (01:38:35):
I'll just go somewhere else where the spam is readily available.
But this lady has gotten a couple hundred thousand views
on this video of her at a Walmart store in Anchorage.
We've got bureau chiefs there in Anchorage who could probably
speak to this where she's complaining. She's like, why the
hell is the spam locked up at the Walmart, the

(01:38:59):
Diamond Walmart in Anchorage, Alaska. I mean, how long are

(01:39:20):
you gonna wait for your spam when it's locked up?
You're gonna go somewhere else? Depends on how much you
like spam, I guess so, but yeah, there's a lot
of you know, and so then in the in the interim,
their companies are like, well, what we're gonna do is
we're gonna roll out an app so that you don't

(01:39:41):
have to wait for a person. You can just click
this app and it'll open whatever case you want. And
there are some stores that are kind of trying those
pilot programs as well. It sucks that we're even in
a place where that's a thing. Well, there's well, it's
it's the confluence of a couple of things. It's that

(01:40:03):
all of these retailers are always looking for ways to
fire humans, and so the fewer people to have in
their stores, or at least to relegate those people to
the back. So they're like, hey man, we don't even
need people in the front of the store anymore. We'll
just have the app, and it's like it'll be like
a brick and mortar Amazon, right, You'll just click the
app and then somebody in the back who's in the

(01:40:25):
storehouse the stock room will bring you what you wanted,
or you'll get up to the front and you'll have
your list of the stuff you want on the app.
But that's usually not what people are going into these
places for. And in theory, all that stuff looks good
on paper until you try to execute it. It's like
the things we do here, right, Well, that's why we

(01:40:47):
have an app rob where people can fire up an
app and they can hear some of the greatest content
they've ever heard of. Oh yes, sure, but this woman
in Alaska. Now I have to think that, like I said,
I have to think that the spam thing is probably
because it's Alaska. Like in Hawaii, they go through way

(01:41:09):
more spam than we do. Is it just because it
keeps longer? Do you think that that's why it's such
a big deal in places like that because you don't
have a lot of cows walking around, right, These are
places where it's like, you know, milk is twelve dollars
a gallon ice cream. You know, you go to Hawaii,
you get a pint of ice cream, it's like thirteen dollars.

(01:41:31):
Because there aren't a lot of cows walking around. For
dairy products, you gotta get them shipped in from the mainland.

Speaker 14 (01:41:37):
I'm just gonna ask again, call me stupid, but why
not fix that by a couple?

Speaker 3 (01:41:44):
Uh you know what do you call them? Head couple
ahead of cattle.

Speaker 14 (01:41:47):
Let them bang it out, Just start making future generations
of future Hawaiian cows so it's not as.

Speaker 3 (01:41:52):
Expensive because I started that one hundred years ago. Yeah, well,
I don't know. Maybe the I've I've never been to
either Hawaii or Alaska.

Speaker 14 (01:42:02):
The great Hawaiian humping Cattle sounds like something, doesn't It.
Just put me in charge, man, I'll take care of
all this stuff. You're gonna export cattle to Hawaii?

Speaker 2 (01:42:15):
Correct?

Speaker 7 (01:42:15):
Is?

Speaker 3 (01:42:16):
I mean Alaska too? There probably are ranchers in Hawaii.
It's not to say that there aren't any, but it's
like there is a reason where those places because Alaska's
way out there. Hawaii's way out there too, So whatever
you don't have on the island you gotta get shipped
in from the mainland, and that's really expensive. My parents,
my parents had gone to Hawaii a couple of times.

(01:42:38):
My dad wanted to see Pearl Harbor and they had
gone a couple of times and loved it. My parents
did not travel. We didn't go anywhere growing up. They
hated to travel. Lucky us. But then they get older
and they're like, well, I got a Hawaii Oh are
you pool? We just sat at home all summer every

(01:43:00):
summer growing up. Cool. But I'm glad they had that experience.
You said, I'm glad they did before my dad, I am.
I'm happy that they had that experience. It would have
been nice maybe to do some things. You know, every
summer as a family, well, now, just every summer. I

(01:43:22):
remember there was like a three week period where me
and my two brothers were the only kids in the neighborhood. Yeah,
everybody else was either at camp or they were on
vacation with their family. Every summer there was a good
three week period where we were the only ones around.
And I was like, this sucks, And I didn't really

(01:43:44):
want to go to camp because I'm like, summer for
me was kind of a vacation from getting beaten up
at school. So I'm like, well, that would happen to
me at camp, so I don't need to do that,
but it would have, you know. But like friends of
mine and you know, oh we went to the Great
Canyon and people have you know photos of when oh
this is when I was ten and we went to

(01:44:05):
d C or whatever. I'm like, I don't know that
I really would have cared as a kid, but those
were experiences I did not have. What was vacation when
you guys would do stuff. We didn't do anything.

Speaker 14 (01:44:18):
What do you mean, like when you you would eventually
like I mean, like I know you didn't do any
you're saying anything but you must have there must have
been something you'd go to.

Speaker 3 (01:44:25):
No, something for an overnight Michigan. Nothing ever, No, never, No.
With my family, yeah, no, we went to my grandmother's
every Sunday for dinner after Mass. But she lived forty
five minutes away downstate Illinois. So you can't think of
like one family vacation. No, we did not go on

(01:44:46):
a single family vacation.

Speaker 2 (01:44:48):
Not one.

Speaker 3 (01:44:49):
That's what I'm saying. Wow, my parents are like, I
don't want to. They're like they didn't they didn't like.

Speaker 14 (01:44:55):
Traveling it like I done it since Like as you
got older, did you all your families get together and
go somewhere.

Speaker 13 (01:45:01):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:45:01):
No, I wasn't on a plane until I moved to
LA I had never been on a plane until I
was twenty one. So the fact that I've been able
to like take our third grader to Mexico when she
was four, I'm like, this is great.

Speaker 2 (01:45:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:45:16):
You know, my older kids when they were younger, they
didn't grow up with me, but you know that we
were always making sure they could go places like with
they're you know, with my ex in laws and stuff
like that. I'm like, that's great. I would have liked
to have had those experiences for sure, just didn't. We
did not go anywhere. Ours were always like road trip

(01:45:36):
type things, like we never flew. I didn't fly until
I was sure sixteen or so. Those are those traditional
experiences that you hear from people. I'm gonna turn this
around and you're arguing in the back and you got yeah,
nothing like that. I don't know if maybe that that
that experience seemed so terrible to my parents. I don't know,

(01:46:00):
maybe they for it or yeah, I have no idea.
But again, we weren't like fighting boys, you know what
I mean. We got along pretty well. I mean my
middle brother's like fifteen months younger than me, and then
my youngest brothers five years younger than me. So it's
not like we were you know, and we really didn't

(01:46:20):
get in each other's hair like we had. We were okay,
we had a decent time, so you probably could have
put us in the back and we would have gone somewhere.
But yeah, my parents just weren't travelers at all, and
so we didn't never go anywhere.

Speaker 14 (01:46:36):
I was notorious for talking the entire time on a
road trip, and my father would want to kill me
every single time we'd go somewhere. Yeah, and I remember
he'd be like, you'd talk the whole goddamn way. You'd
fall asleep the last fifteen minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:46:50):
And we were I remember vividly.

Speaker 14 (01:46:52):
We were on the tappen Z Bridge, which no longer
exists in New Jersey, New York to New Jersey, and
we were in the middle of it and I'm talking, hey, Dad,
there's a bridge, this, that, and the other thing. He
pulls the car offward to the side of the road
and he's like, Rob, I need you to shut up.
He's like, I swear I'm gonna throw you off of
this bridge. I could not think of anything else that

(01:47:14):
I wanted to say for the rest of the trip.
That was the only time I was like, he might
throw me overboard, Like there's a there's a chance if
I'm like, okay, Dad, I got it. I'm going swimming.
Believed it. Yeah, it happens Z Bridge to lead it
to this day.

Speaker 2 (01:47:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:47:31):
No, And this is what people are, you know, texting,
there's like there is an open range land to raise cattle.
There's no space for agriculture in Hawaii. Okay, now I know. Yeah,
they can't they can't.

Speaker 14 (01:47:41):
They can't fornicate on lava a mountain, former lava rock.

Speaker 3 (01:47:45):
They can't make a thing there. You get your steaks
cooked right at the source.

Speaker 14 (01:47:49):
I'm not saying racks. You can't go in those those
fields of lava rocks.

Speaker 3 (01:47:54):
It's got to be something.

Speaker 14 (01:47:57):
And I told you I'm not too bright just thinking
there has to be a solution to eating spam.

Speaker 3 (01:48:02):
It's all no spams, a very versatile meat adjacent product.
Still never had it, Alana. Cost less to buy a
pineapple in Cleveland than it does in Hawaii. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:48:15):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:48:19):
Spam. By the way, there's no beef in spam. I
don't know that there's The base is pork, and I
think the rest of it is fake or whatever they
you know. I don't think that there's any cow in spam.

Speaker 2 (01:48:32):
What does it stand for?

Speaker 3 (01:48:33):
It's something in ham, right, sperm and ham. I think,
isn't that what the jelly is?

Speaker 12 (01:48:46):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:48:47):
I know, I don't want it. No, No, it's main
ingredients are pork, shoulder and ham. So it's all pork
made by the Hormale Foods Corporation. It was intruing nineteen
thirty seven and gain popularity after it's used in World
War II. It is sold in forty one countries. It
what does it taste like? Does it just never had spam?

Speaker 2 (01:49:09):
No, it tastes like.

Speaker 3 (01:49:13):
I guess it was. It was a portmanteau of spiced ham.

Speaker 2 (01:49:17):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:49:18):
The product was intended to increase the sale of pork shoulder,
a cut that did not sell. How are we gonna
get people buying pork shoulder. They're buying bacon, they're buying hooves,
pickled feet, they're buying snout. We get these people ruder
to tutor. How are we going to get them digging

(01:49:39):
on some shoulder? Teach them to smoke it low and slow,
baby yep. The brother of a hor Mel company executive
won a one hundred dollars prize in nineteen thirty seven
in a competition to name the new item. The popular
belief is that the name is a contraction of spiced ham,

(01:49:59):
but they say that the meat of the name is
known only to a few people in the Hormell corporation.
It's been speculated to be an acronym for shoulder of
pork and ham. I assumed that these kinds of things
began in the military.

Speaker 2 (01:50:17):
You're looking for.

Speaker 3 (01:50:18):
Shelf stable canned meats, and you know, it's basically the
it's the first iteration of like your Alex Jones doomsday bucket, right,
is your cans of spam. We always had spam in
our house, and I assumed that it came from my
dad developing his palate in the military. We had a

(01:50:40):
lot of what they call shrimp on a shingle, a
lot of chip chopped ham, that kind of stuff in
my house. So you're supposed to spam, you're supposed to
fry it. I think frying it makes it taste the best.
If I were to have spam, like when we would
have spam sandwiches and you just get it out of
the can and slice it and eat it. I like
it much better cooked. I know they put it on

(01:51:03):
sushi in Hawaii. They'll have like strips of masubi.

Speaker 2 (01:51:06):
Yeah good.

Speaker 22 (01:51:07):
Yeah, that's the way I eat it. Yeah, if you're
gonna try it, try to get it. Try to get
spam masubi.

Speaker 3 (01:51:13):
I just think I just think that, you know, Hawaii,
Hawaiians call it steak because it's you know, I would
be very versatile pissed if I went to a restaurant.
I'm like yeah, let me get that steak and they
brought me a piece of spam.

Speaker 2 (01:51:29):
I'd be like, come on, dude.

Speaker 14 (01:51:30):
Then again, how would I know. Again, I've not never
had it, so you can't just like eat it out
of the can.

Speaker 3 (01:51:35):
Oh you can, but it's got like that jelly on it,
and it's yeah, I think texture wise, it's like I
have to try it. You should very salty. Yes, okay, yep,
salt back to your sperm philosophy. Spam that is sold
in North America, South America, and Australia. It's all produced

(01:51:57):
in Austin, Minnesota, also known as Stown, USA, and also
in Dubuque, Iowa. Austin, Minnesota has a restaurant with a
menu devoted exclusively to spam called Johnny's Spam Aama menu.
See that's just a take from the U of Monty
python mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:52:18):
Like spam, spam, spam, exit spam, spam, spam, spams.

Speaker 3 (01:52:23):
Hawaii has the highest per capita consumption in the United States.
They consume seven million cans of spam per year. Hmm.
And in World War Two it was like the main
protein sources. After World War Two, it was a massive, massive,
like staple in people's homes, and so as a kid
in the mid to late seventies, we we always had

(01:52:47):
spam in the house. So I grew up eating no
small amount of spam, specialty pork, army meals thought on it,
Bob says, special processed artificial meat. But somebody else suggested

(01:53:09):
shrimpy processed anal meat. Lips and yeah, but it's to me,
it's very it's not dissimilar to blooney, right, So it's
like you fry it and it's yeah, you put the
I think, so, I mean, it's yeah.

Speaker 14 (01:53:24):
I've I've never had baloney, uh not fried. Yeah, like
I've never had like a regular blooney sandwich. My mom
made fried baloney a couple times.

Speaker 3 (01:53:33):
He could like to cut in the middle so it
doesn't turn like a big cup. My clients parents fed
him a lot of spam and never took him on
family vacations. Sound familiar. Contact the law offices of Lindy
corn One sad Alan in the back of the room
raises his hands, and they've broadened the the kind of

(01:53:56):
the spectrum too. You can get like flavor sub spam.
Now you know, it's like Oreo for one hundred years
there was one flavor and now there's four thousand flavors
of Oreo.

Speaker 2 (01:54:06):
They kind of tried that with spam. I want the og.

Speaker 3 (01:54:08):
Spam does have to be just pork shoulder. You think
I can get it at CBS, Like if I go like,
I can buy it right now. Not CVS. You'd probably
go to Mayer orge On. Probably a grocery store would
have spam.

Speaker 2 (01:54:19):
I know they would.

Speaker 14 (01:54:19):
I'm just saying because they have like the little grocery
sections in those pharmacies.

Speaker 3 (01:54:23):
And no Tappanzee Bridge renamed after Mario Cuomo by.

Speaker 14 (01:54:25):
The way, Yeah, it's a whole new bridge. They took
down the Tappanzee. You built the whole new suspension bridge.
I drove it when we went when we went back
to mass last time.

Speaker 2 (01:54:34):
Hawaii.

Speaker 3 (01:54:35):
Allen has a special pineapple that goes bad so fast
after picking that it can't be exported. Why why would
you not want to? Like, what's the point of that, Guys,
We're not gonna make any money off of this particular
hybrid pineapple. These pineapples are so good you gotta be
here to eat them. This is going to increase tourism. Yeah,

(01:54:55):
we're gonna bring people here to eat this pineapple. I
love pineapple.

Speaker 2 (01:55:00):
Maybe I'll do it too, boy, maybe I'll go.

Speaker 3 (01:55:03):
Oh, it's at Bromolane doing its work.

Speaker 2 (01:55:05):
Love that stuff. So why it's so sweet? Ladies here?

Speaker 3 (01:55:11):
Have you been eating pineapple?

Speaker 2 (01:55:12):
I sure have.

Speaker 3 (01:55:15):
I get a little thing of cottage cheese, a little
leaf of lettuce, a little ring of pineapple, Alan tel
rob spam cold sliced about a quarter inch thick, cheap
white bread mao or miracle whip, assemble and enjoy with
potato chips. Delicious. All right, it just sounds like hell, yes,

(01:55:38):
CVS will have spam. Somebody saying get spam at the
gas station. After I said that, I'm like, I'm pretty
sure I've seen spam on the shelf at CVS, so
I misspoke. I think you would be able to get
it there. That's sandwich, literally, I can. I can feel
it sticking to the top of my mouth. Mm hmm
you sure, boy? Yeah, with that spam, it's soft right,

(01:55:58):
like it's mushi. Yeah, just gonna smosh there. Oh, I
don't think I want that. Somebody else referred to spam
as stupid people's affordable meat, and I don't know what
it has to do with your intelligence level.

Speaker 2 (01:56:10):
Yeah it was.

Speaker 3 (01:56:11):
I was gonna say, yeah, I ate a lot of
spam when I was a kid. Of course, I was
much stupider as a kid, I guess, stupider than I
am now. I'm not that bright. And when I was
a kid, you know, I got by. You would think
I ate a lot of spam based on stuff you're
here on this show. Of course I got bye. I

(01:56:31):
mean I got straight to Ha's wrong.

Speaker 9 (01:56:33):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:56:34):
And perfect attendance, you know, that's what I had to
hang my hat on since we didn't have vacations through
all the way through school. Yeah, perfect attendance K through twelve.
Never missed that day one day, not one day you
ever had the chicken pox. I did, but before school started.
My god, dude, even your luck.

Speaker 2 (01:56:54):
With that sucks, I know.

Speaker 14 (01:56:57):
Yeah, so all the way you did not skip one
day of school in like senior year. Perfect attendance.

Speaker 3 (01:57:04):
That's no, because I wasn't. First of all, No, like
I liked school. I liked school, and so like all
my friends were like, ooh, you know they were doing
Ferris Bueller's Day off. I'm like, yeah, because you got
a tari and cable. What am I staying at home?
For staying at home, you go out do stuff with

(01:57:27):
your friends. I wasn't that kid in high school. I
was going to get in trouble. I didn't want to
get in trouble.

Speaker 8 (01:57:34):
Aln Cot Show WMMS Radio DOUBLEMMS Cleveland.

Speaker 2 (01:57:41):
And iHeart Radio station Alan Cott.

Speaker 3 (01:57:45):
He's been asked to leave on multiple occasions.

Speaker 2 (01:57:50):
He does that whole Huh.

Speaker 3 (01:57:52):
I can't hear you.

Speaker 2 (01:57:54):
It's too loud in here.

Speaker 3 (01:57:56):
Things the bees, I don't mean the apple bee's, I
mean the bees that are out there and bees yon
their year.

Speaker 12 (01:58:10):
Job.

Speaker 3 (01:58:13):
Bees piece right on the American Canadian border. This is
the Pacific Northwest. There was a giant semi truck that
crashed and a massive and it was carrying bees. Oh no,
do you see any of this footage?

Speaker 2 (01:58:30):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:58:31):
This was last week, I believe fourteen million bees. The
original account they said two hundred and fifty million bees.
Fourteen million bees were being carried and the commercial truck
carrying about seventy thousand pounds of honeybee hives lost part

(01:58:53):
of its load and the guy driving the truck had
to be driving with bee keeping suit in tow and
they had to get this is Wackham County, Washington. They
had to get the Sheriff's department out there. It's not
like you can just go and hand scoop fourteen million

(01:59:13):
bees out of the air truck over turned about four
in the morning in a rural area and all of
the bees.

Speaker 2 (01:59:22):
Were lost.

Speaker 3 (01:59:25):
Hundreds of hives crushed, leaning on each other, and a
guy explains here, a bee keeper explains how you save
the bees.

Speaker 23 (01:59:34):
So we're literally grabbing a bee box and they're grabbing
the frames that contain the honey, the bees and the brood,
putting them back in the box and restacking them on
pallets to hopefully have some survival rate.

Speaker 3 (01:59:46):
You'll work with here right now.

Speaker 23 (01:59:48):
But there's so many hives over there that most of
them are collapsed that the frames of honey and brood already.

Speaker 2 (01:59:53):
Out, so then we're having to put those back in
the boxes. Yeah, there's a millions of bees over there
right now.

Speaker 3 (02:00:00):
You know, you hear a lot of things about unsustainable systems.
Right People who are vegan are constantly imploring people stop
eating meat because the way that meat is processed in
this country is not sustainable. Right. Well, it's a lot
of things with the bees too. This is like a
big people go, why were they carrying bees? Because you

(02:00:22):
have to import bees. That's the weird thing, right, coming
from the Pacific Northwest. It was headed down to California,
I think. But if this one wasn't, there are plenty
of other trucks that are So these trucks take these
bees to other cities that need bees, like almonds, right,

(02:00:44):
they have to they take them to California to pollinate
for almonds, which if you know anything about almonds, they
take they use a ton of water that they don't
really have there in California, and so it ends up
being like a loss for the farmers, and then insurance
companies get involved, and so then the farmers in California

(02:01:07):
that we're going to get these bees, they need to
find bees or they don't get their crops pollinated. And
then the bees and then the bee farmers, right, they
need to replace the bees that they sent and they lost.
So then you have these communities that were you have

(02:01:27):
a bunch of stressed out honey bees.

Speaker 2 (02:01:31):
That have nowhere to go.

Speaker 3 (02:01:32):
Right, So, over the past ten years or so, all
of these horror stories about the collapse of the ecology
and all that and climate change or whatever. Bees have
been very much to the forefront of that. They've been like, hey, FYI,
if the bees all go, we all die, yeah, and
which is oversimplification, but not by much, not really by much.

(02:01:55):
So what it comes down to is you have this
weird system where all of this the way that a
lot of farming, which is unsustainable, they got to import
bees because a lot of you know, it's like they
grow alfalfa in the Arizona Desert right. That takes a
lot of water too, because there's a lot of farms

(02:02:16):
around the country that are foreign owned, and so they
ship the produce back home, so they don't care about
the effects of water heavy crops here because it's all
going overseas. Very very strange. So they ran this bee
story as like a kicker story, almost unlike the local news.

(02:02:37):
If you saw add a truck crash, well forty a
million bees and I'm sitting there watching it like I'm puckering,
you know, my bee holes, puckering watching this thing, Like okay, well,
but that guy seemed almost you know, he was very
very calm about it. Guy in the bee Yeah, well,
we just grab as mud as we can and stackle

(02:02:59):
back up.

Speaker 14 (02:03:00):
Well, they're all going to hang by the queen, right,
So that's that's got to be the whole plan. I
would assume it's gonna let them come back, because they're
not going to like go far from that area, would they.

Speaker 3 (02:03:10):
No, that's what I'm saying, Like, you got all these
honey bees and got nowhere to go, and so they're
just I don't know how they clean that up.

Speaker 14 (02:03:17):
Well, I mean there's you see all the hives all
the time at farms and stuff. You would have to
assume they can probably get something like that. Some rigs
set up quick, I hope. So I assume those people
know those people, Yes, people who have their own hives. Oh, yes,
he's bee keeping Americans. Some of those Canadian bees down here. Yeah,

(02:03:40):
sound like Canadians. Different buzz than honey, much more friendly buzz.
It's a whole thing.

Speaker 2 (02:04:01):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (02:04:01):
The terrible, terrible work of Nicholas Cage there with the
you know, he's so good in so many other things
and just so utterly terrible. Of course, how do you
act with cgibs? That can't be easy. That revooted the
wicker Man that he had the misfortune to star in Hey,
speaking of bees, how about the Beg's. Would you go

(02:04:23):
see because I got this press release this morning about
a Beg's tribute band. They're called Staying Alive. They're gonna
play MGM Northfield Park in October, like the week before Halloween.
And I got the press release that go, Hey, if
anybody wants to know, he used to get to go

(02:04:44):
on and sale this Friday, stay in a lot. Now,
I'm not familiar with them at all, but they are
obviously a tribute to the BG's. But the Beg's had
a big, long catalog. You know, he started as a
folk band. He had a big long catalog before disco hit, right,
and then the came the face of that. I'm wondering
if the tribute band, you can't just do the disco

(02:05:07):
stuff because that's not represented their entire catalog. We only
do seventies begs like eighties Joel, Yeah, I mean they
they got to do New York Mining Disaster nineteen forty two,
or what right they got to do nights on Broadway
they got to do I mean, everybody thinks jive talking
was part of the whole disco thing, or the whole

(02:05:28):
Saturay night fever thing jive talking like pre dated. That's
how they got on everybody's radar with the UH with
the disco stuff. That kind of ushered that in though,
like that's sound.

Speaker 14 (02:05:39):
People will always associate with it because that sort of
is what got everybody going.

Speaker 3 (02:05:44):
Yeah, would you You probably wouldn't go see a You
probably wouldn't go see a Beg's tribute band.

Speaker 2 (02:05:54):
I would.

Speaker 14 (02:05:54):
I would want I would want to see the set list,
Like if they're literally just doing all of the disco stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:06:00):
No, I would not go, I see, but I do.

Speaker 3 (02:06:02):
I agree with you.

Speaker 14 (02:06:03):
I think they're a very talented band, and I probably
if I were free and needed something to.

Speaker 3 (02:06:08):
Do, I would go Love the Beg's a documentary fe
years ago on HBO I was trends Fixed, Allan, you
were talking about the Beg's tribute band and you wish
they were doing metal covers. There is a band that
does that. They're called Tragedy, the all Metal Tribute to
the Of course they're now see you know that's wink

(02:06:37):
wink wink. Like I get, it's a novelty thing. I
wouldn't want two hours of that, ill lady. It's a
novelty something. Tells me they're not going two hours. Dude, Well,
I don't know, but yeah, that's a touring band. Well,
good for them. Thanks for the heads up, Allen.

Speaker 6 (02:06:57):
I finally caught your metal shell on Saturday looking real
cool in my wife's minivan. Uh, you know, listening to
Dirty Deed's Done Dirt Cheap. Anyways, I'm wondering if maybe
you would play my new metal band. No, it's not
what you're thinking. It's g n U metal. We only

(02:07:19):
sing songs about the mighty Wilde Beast. I would greatly
appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (02:07:25):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (02:07:25):
We got another episode of two Hours at midnight this Saturday.
I'm not above throwing on some new you ever heard
a new You ever heard a will to beast? A
ganu gry ganu? Mm hm that's what it sounds like.
So I'm gonna play that guy's new band on Saturday night.

(02:07:48):
I mean what it lacks and lyrics? Did we make
up to it with mama?

Speaker 2 (02:07:53):
Yeah? Or is that a camel the.

Speaker 3 (02:07:56):
Camel, the camel?

Speaker 2 (02:07:57):
Yeah? With him? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:08:04):
A Koala metal that's good too. That's a mating call
right there. Yes, what does a koala know that we don't?
I always assumed they were so cute South there sounds
like corps grinder. Now you're thinking of how they look,
but how they sound is just downright disgraceful. Yeah, scree.

Speaker 2 (02:08:30):
Pte.

Speaker 3 (02:08:30):
Diddy did Godzilla. No, he didn't do the song Godzilla. No,
he did that terrible led Zeppelin thing with Jimmy Page
if for the nineties Godzilla movie. Unless you're just being
cheeky speaking of things that didn't need to happen. P
Diddy and Jimmy Page, Yeah, is that at all because

(02:08:51):
obviously it's just a guy, you know, trying to stay
relevant with the person of the moment and the ninety
zero is Diddy.

Speaker 2 (02:08:59):
Does that at all?

Speaker 3 (02:09:00):
Is that a blemish on Jimmy Page's record? No? Or
is it just just an artist, right collaborating with other artists.

Speaker 14 (02:09:05):
I mean, if that were the case, I'd hold Robert
Plant in lower regard for the Honey Drippers.

Speaker 3 (02:09:10):
Oh you didn't like the Honey Drippers?

Speaker 14 (02:09:12):
I mean, come on, okay, no, no, when coming off
of led Zeppelin in his wings right, yeah, yeah, I
know what he was doing. He's doing bluegrass now or whatever,
which is but again that's sort of like his voice
has changed so much. You can't sing the zeptunes. He
said he was never going to play without John gotcha right?
So yeah, I mean it like when I saw him,

(02:09:33):
he did versions of all the Zeppelin songs, but they
were the way that he could sing him.

Speaker 3 (02:09:37):
Now, Alan, Eric Blum, and Buck Dharma are the only
original Blue Oyster Cult members. I'm in Atlantic City about
a year ago. Wasn't flashy, but a great performance. All right,
that's all you want, That is all you want.

Speaker 2 (02:09:51):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (02:09:52):
I took my son to see Metallica in Charlotte on Saturday,
and during Pantera, some boomer asked me to sit down
so he could see. I just looked at him and
kept standing, wtf this person I.

Speaker 2 (02:10:05):
Was talking about.

Speaker 3 (02:10:05):
We went to see Eddie Money years ago in Pittsburgh
and I was doing an appearance at Seven Springs Ski
Resort and Eddie Money was in the show Place room
that night, and a couple of friends and I went in.
We had a couple of pops, of course, but still
excited to see Eddie Money in a venue like that,
And we didn't realize we turned around, we were the
only ones standing. We're in like second or third row,

(02:10:26):
and everyone behind us was pissed because we were standing
hey down in front. Hey, Listen, you gotta think though,
I always think of it in terms of your audience
age is with you, and it seems counterintuitive. Listen, people
who go to a pan Terra show, they're not necessarily
they're not in the pit.

Speaker 2 (02:10:47):
Right.

Speaker 3 (02:10:48):
There are people who got into Pantera when they were
in high school and so they're in their mid fifties
now and a lot of them got bad knees.

Speaker 14 (02:10:55):
They still want to see the band. Yeah, but no
one's going to be sitting in a pan Terra show.

Speaker 3 (02:11:00):
This guy was apparently this guy was he wanted to
sit down and watch Pantera.

Speaker 2 (02:11:06):
Well, or he was.

Speaker 3 (02:11:08):
It was strategic because pan Tara was opening for Metallica,
and he's like, I'll sit during Pantera so I can
stand and pump my fist and kick my foot for Metallica,
which is ultimately why I'm here pacing himself.

Speaker 2 (02:11:21):
I say that.

Speaker 3 (02:11:23):
I'm giving that guy the benefit of the doubt. Obviously,
if you're there with your kid, right, you want to
give them the full experience. You want to go full
till boogie the whole show, but there's gonna be somebody
behind you. Who's gonna go sit down. I guess it's
the I guess it's the being crusty about other people

(02:11:44):
standing that I would take issue with, Like this person.
I'm sure you know, if somebody's giving you a hard
time for standing up, you'd be like, bro, you can sit,
but I'm not gonna what am I supposed to do
to me. That's no different than when you're everyone's standing
at a show and the guy in front of me
is six seven. My god, damn it that inevitably. I'm

(02:12:05):
not sure, but I'm not tall. I'm like five eleven, right,
I'm not like, I'm not some short king. But when
you got a really tall dude in front of you're like, oh,
come on man.

Speaker 2 (02:12:13):
We went and saw.

Speaker 14 (02:12:16):
The Charlie Daniels band in a small, little indy bit
venue just because something to do.

Speaker 3 (02:12:21):
They were in our town. That's when I was in
Rhode Island.

Speaker 14 (02:12:25):
The guy in front of me had on the world's
largest fedora that you ever could possibly imagine.

Speaker 3 (02:12:32):
Lie Charlie Daniels show, which.

Speaker 2 (02:12:34):
Again should have been a cowboy hat.

Speaker 14 (02:12:36):
I wouldn't have had maybe as much of a problem,
but this gigantic abe Lincoln sized Fedora.

Speaker 3 (02:12:41):
Well that's like a stove.

Speaker 13 (02:12:42):
No.

Speaker 14 (02:12:42):
I yeah, but it was directly in front of me,
and I'm like, and I'm like, come on, just take
the hat a Fedora.

Speaker 3 (02:12:50):
Yeah, huge, I don't know. That wasn't for the show.
That's a guy who's the guy.

Speaker 2 (02:12:56):
That's his thing.

Speaker 3 (02:12:56):
It's fordorable, right, Okay, yeah, sir, is for door.

Speaker 14 (02:13:01):
So I was just like, I kept kind of going around,
and as I kept drinking beer, I was getting louder,
and I was like, dude, is the hat necessary?

Speaker 2 (02:13:09):
And he kept it on. He never even turned He.

Speaker 3 (02:13:11):
Said, is the hat necessary?

Speaker 2 (02:13:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:13:13):
Wow, look at you. Never even turned around. Yeah, he
ignored me. Huh.

Speaker 2 (02:13:17):
It was fine.

Speaker 3 (02:13:18):
I mean, it's Charlie Daniels. Not like I missed a lot.

Speaker 2 (02:13:21):
I understand.

Speaker 3 (02:13:23):
I wish I looked good in hats. You know, there
are some people who look good in a lot of time.
This bald guy's putting hats on. I mean baseball caps.
I mean, like hats, some guys look good in them.
Oh I look like a douchebag anything other than.

Speaker 2 (02:13:35):
A ball cap.

Speaker 3 (02:13:36):
This is what I'm saying. And I don't wear that
many ball caps, but if I'm gonna wear something it's
gonna be a ball cap. But I was in this haberdasher.
I was in this store in Toronto years ago and
they had a rack of hats. I go, how about
that hair shorter? I mean, you know, you know, look
a crazy person. I was like, I wonder if I
could pull off a hat. Nope, and I don't know

(02:13:56):
what it is. Maybe I could, but I I'm just
so not used to seeing myself like that. I would
have been too self conscious. But some people you just
put a hat on them and it goes ding and
you're like, man, you were rocking that chapeau.

Speaker 14 (02:14:09):
That was my grandfather Mona me. He could have worn
any hat and looked great at it. I look like
a dope. At one point, I was like, I wonder
if I should get one of those like Cabby hats,
you know, like cab driver anywhere forward you can.

Speaker 3 (02:14:20):
Weark cam o shanter right, yeah, floppy newsboy cat.

Speaker 14 (02:14:26):
I looked like such a dumb ass. I didn't ever
even bought it, Like I tried it on. I'm like,
what do you think? And even my wife was like,
I think it looked better at a ball cap. So
I'm like, okay, okay, good answer.

Speaker 2 (02:14:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:14:40):
Actually, somebody says that they usually sit because they're six
six and they have very broad shoulders. Oh well, thank
you so much for sitting. That's just like, yeah, oh
God for you right.

Speaker 2 (02:14:54):
Now. Listen.

Speaker 3 (02:14:55):
I'm sure that people sitting behind you or thank you
for your sacrifice. But yeah, if you're standing at a show.
That's why I always like at a show, I always
buy my tickets a couple of rows off the floor.
I want to see the whole thing, you know, if

(02:15:15):
we're not up in a box Rob for MMS Presents show.

Speaker 14 (02:15:20):
Which is usually the only way I go to concerts ouse,
I know, you know, if I don't have box seats
or I know, sweet tickets, I'm like, do I really
want to do this?

Speaker 3 (02:15:29):
That's how you anyone who let's say you're imagining a
situation where like I'd love to get Rob out of
the house and really have him be part of our organization.

Speaker 2 (02:15:37):
This is what it is.

Speaker 3 (02:15:39):
Yeah, he only comes out of the house for special
occasions and under very opulent circumstance and over at the
Rocket Arena.

Speaker 14 (02:15:49):
I just usually when I get my specific suite, I
will call and I'll say.

Speaker 2 (02:15:54):
Hi, it's Rob. The usual Please and they know.

Speaker 14 (02:15:57):
They know what wine, they know what cave are, they
know what crack, they know everything and what to have
because you can't order this stuff that I appreciate and
like off of their menu.

Speaker 3 (02:16:05):
I mean, first off, just think of how many Robs
there are, and they already know who it is. Yeah,
when he goes, hey, it's Rob. Before he even gets
to the rider, they know who it is.

Speaker 2 (02:16:14):
Oh they don't.

Speaker 14 (02:16:14):
They don't need the rider and they know they know
it's And I'm not as picky because it's say, now
they have to go out and do special shopping for
me because they don't have that stuff on their menus,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (02:16:25):
Like you go, you can get all kinds of stuff.

Speaker 14 (02:16:27):
Like picky foods and good things for your sweet, but
the things I require just aren't there.

Speaker 3 (02:16:32):
So they do special things for me and it's appreciated.
I mean, I don't want to pull the curtain back
too far, but that trucked overturn that was part of
Rob's honey, that was the honey that was being imported
for the last show that we went to. Yeah, and
I certainly and sometimes I don't even use it.

Speaker 14 (02:16:49):
I just like to know it's there, you know the honey,
and I do only like my honey from Northwestern bees
or Canadian bees.

Speaker 2 (02:16:58):
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 (02:16:59):
There's a there's a noticeable difference in taste. Listen when
we were at that Disturbed show, And not to put
too fun a point on it, it might sound silly
and ridiculous for Rob to describe these things, but he
is also nothing if not generous. Yeah, with his time
and his resources. So when we had all those, we
had a box with listeners. You go with the show
thing with me and Rob are disturbed a few weeks

(02:17:20):
back and everybody's in there. Rob's very very generous with
his with his jams, with his crackers, he's very generous
with his meats and cheeses. And I mean the listeners
could not have been They were like, Wow, I've never
been to a show with so much charcutery. Can you

(02:17:41):
just get us a hot dog?

Speaker 14 (02:17:42):
And I'm like, if you'd like a hot dog, yeah,
you can leave the suite, have a hot dog and
come back.

Speaker 3 (02:17:49):
He goes, I'd have to order it from an exotic
meats shop. Yeah, and that probably wouldn't be very it
wouldn't be a good use of our time.

Speaker 2 (02:17:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:17:58):
So no, the people who enjoyed it, they enjoyed it
a lot, they really did. They walked away not just
smelling of beer, but also of apricot jam. That's right,
and that's not a bad way to spend a night.

Speaker 9 (02:18:11):
Hello, Ellen, it's me Jane Simmons.

Speaker 3 (02:18:13):
Kiss also of myself.

Speaker 2 (02:18:16):
You were talking a few days ago.

Speaker 21 (02:18:18):
About rock and roll out trows and Rob had mentioned
a long Way to the Top by a c DC Now's.

Speaker 2 (02:18:25):
Bassist, I've got to throw my head into the.

Speaker 21 (02:18:28):
Ring for the chain by Sleekwood Mac as one of
the greatest out throws.

Speaker 2 (02:18:34):
He was this audio quality. I'm in my Honda pilot
twenty twelve, get some lunch.

Speaker 3 (02:18:40):
The Jeans have had checked in so frequently ever since
he did the show a few weeks back, getting some lunch.
I'm getting some lunch in his twenty twelve Honda pilot. Yeah,
this is why the guy knows a dollar. He's not pretentious.
He got a lot of attention gives you selling those
thirteen thousand dollars vip roady packages. But for all we know,
that could be going to charity car show.

Speaker 2 (02:19:00):
On one hundred points of cardio Allan.

Speaker 3 (02:19:08):
It says here that you call yourself one of the
few gay goat farmers in the Great State of Tennessee.

Speaker 8 (02:19:14):
On one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 3 (02:19:18):
Joe listens in Shelby, North Carolina, Joey is in Nashville,
Ashley is in Poulson, Montana, and Brian is in Yuma, Arizona.
You leave messages there on the app.

Speaker 24 (02:19:32):
To hey, Alan, uh Rob just asked in the podcast
for recommendations on what he could do to make himself
more appealing to the audience. I think he should start
doing the mock Mary voice whenever she disagreed with you
and Bill and just being a whiny little turd.

Speaker 3 (02:19:55):
I will miss the mock Mary voice, by the way,
whatever it was. Pamela Hayden is retiring after thirty five years.
Pamela Hayden is a voiceover actress who has worked on
the Simpsons for thirty five years. Everybody knows the primary
characters or the actors from the Simpsons if you're a fan.

Speaker 2 (02:20:18):
I'm a huge Simpsons fan.

Speaker 3 (02:20:19):
You know Dan Castlenetta, you know Julie Kavner, and it
is weird thirty five years down the road, some of
them sound the same. Julie Cavner sounds real rough. I mean,
there's a couple of people you can really tell the
years and the miles on them. Hanka's area still does
a lot of heavy lifting over there. Harry Shearer, for

(02:20:40):
the most part, still sounds the same. His burns is
a little thin these days, but again they've been doing
these for thirty five years. And then along the way
you have kind of the tertiary characters and the voiceover
actress Tres McNeil over there. Marsha Wallace died a few
years ago, but Pamela Hayden, who is does a lot
of voices, as they all do, but she is mostly

(02:21:02):
known for being Millhouse. And so they have The Simpsons
were not spared from the whole Black actors should be
doing black characters in cartoons and so, you know, like
Harry Shearer used to do Doctor Hibbert, and so the
Simpsons were like, we're gonna get black actors to do
black characters. And so I wonder how they will change up.

(02:21:24):
You know, Yard Lee Smith still does Lisa what's her name?
H who's the one does Bart the sion car? Yeah, scientologist, Yeah,
still does Bart. And they all sound the same, but
Pamela Hayden has decided to hang it.

Speaker 17 (02:21:41):
Up on Pamela Hayden high.

Speaker 2 (02:21:49):
Well cool.

Speaker 7 (02:21:50):
I do Jim Bogue, Jons of the Boys do Rob
and sometimes Todd and my main guy, Ishouse.

Speaker 2 (02:22:00):
This is where I come to cry.

Speaker 3 (02:22:05):
It's such a sucker for when these people do this instant.

Speaker 2 (02:22:08):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (02:22:12):
People have come up to me and they quote Mi
House lines.

Speaker 7 (02:22:14):
I've said Jimminy Dilliker so many times the words have
lost no meaning.

Speaker 17 (02:22:18):
People always saying what a nerd is?

Speaker 7 (02:22:20):
Was one thing that I love about No Houses. He's
always getting knocked down, but he keeps getting up.

Speaker 2 (02:22:32):
I'm never giving off there. I love the little guy.

Speaker 17 (02:22:38):
That's this wonderful analogy for life. It puts your glasses back.
Go on, oh, Malhouse, everything's.

Speaker 2 (02:22:49):
Coming up Millhouse. Who moves it?

Speaker 17 (02:22:52):
Would ever become this phenomenon. It's the greatest job in
the world.

Speaker 2 (02:23:04):
Boy, you're not kidding.

Speaker 3 (02:23:05):
I mean you and you have been able to have
the same gig in a cartoon for thirty five years.
I mean none of those people, even not being a
primary character, none of those people need money, right, they
haven't had to have other gigs. They want him to
You know, Hanka's area does other things he did. What's

(02:23:26):
the character. I can only think Jack Brickhouse, but he's
a Chicago announcer.

Speaker 2 (02:23:31):
I love the show. Hanka's area was.

Speaker 14 (02:23:35):
Oh, I just was telling somebody to watch at the
other day. He was the baseball announcer. Yes, the nervous breakdown. Yeah,
oh god, it was Jim.

Speaker 3 (02:23:46):
He has got the Jim Brock Yeah, Jim Brockbier, which
just started as him fooling around and doing a you know,
a baseball announcer, a good one, going, Hey, such a
pretty day.

Speaker 14 (02:24:01):
Let's play too, Hey, let's rockmeo taking no chance.

Speaker 3 (02:24:05):
It's just trying to get a rhythm early again.

Speaker 14 (02:24:07):
And the missionary position, well, I know, a surprised finger
in the.

Speaker 3 (02:24:13):
And here come the princils between him and Harry Sherman.
I love the baseball announcer. So yeah, they took he
took that Jim Brockmeer thing and they turned it into
a show. It ran for a couple of seasons. I
could have easily seen that being one and done. It
was him and Amanda Pete over on I don't even
know it was on like on one of those secondary networks.

(02:24:33):
Well it was on like, uh god, not AMC, but
one of those Yeah, did you watch it? I loved Brockmeyer.
I loved that show so much.

Speaker 14 (02:24:44):
Rockmeyer just the things he would say to people because
he had zero care, like he but he never broke
that void.

Speaker 3 (02:24:51):
That was the best part of the whole thing. Yeah,
no matter where he was or what he was doing,
he talked like that. If C is what it was
on Independent Film Channel. Yeah, he did a quick thing,
unfunnier die years ago about it, Jill Brockmeyer, and they
turned it into this show where he is he's a
major league baseball announcer and he has a he flips out,

(02:25:14):
He has a melt out in the air, gets kicked
down to the minor leagues, working for the Morristown Frackers
in Pennsylvania, and I was I think it was only
two seasons. Was funny.

Speaker 14 (02:25:27):
The scene with him a dude, that's that You remember
that scene Joe Bugle Like they're just talking to him
and he's like, why were you late? He says, Joe
buck says to him, and Brockmeyer shoots back something about
like having sex with his mother and he goes, my
mother was my mother is dead and he goes, well,
that would explain the lack of motion.

Speaker 3 (02:25:48):
Wow, oh it wasn't for four seasons. Oh, I didn't
know that. I love that show. Brock Meyer. Josh is
in Saint Louis. What's going on? Josh? Hey? You know
you know me.

Speaker 25 (02:26:00):
I don't like to give advice, you know, cause do
I know that about you?

Speaker 3 (02:26:04):
Jess?

Speaker 4 (02:26:05):
Yes, I know that for years, and.

Speaker 25 (02:26:07):
I don't like giving advice yea, because nobody listens.

Speaker 2 (02:26:10):
Yeah, here's a little bit of advice.

Speaker 25 (02:26:12):
If your friend has a dog with a heart condition
and they asked you to take care of it for
two weeks and give it medicine, say.

Speaker 2 (02:26:20):
No, oh really.

Speaker 25 (02:26:22):
I had a buddy that was running an ultra marathon
in Transylvania a few years ago. He was like, why
don't you redo my bathroom while I'm gone?

Speaker 2 (02:26:31):
And I was like sure, and he's like, oh, but
you got to give this dog a pill every day.

Speaker 18 (02:26:36):
Well, after four days of fighting that dog to try
to get that stupid dog and take its pill, I
gave up.

Speaker 25 (02:26:43):
And I'm good with dogs. I've got three giant dogs,
and one of them I had.

Speaker 18 (02:26:46):
To came from being an attack dog to being a
family dog. So I'm good with dogs, but this bigle
would not take his pills.

Speaker 3 (02:26:53):
You didn't just put it.

Speaker 2 (02:26:55):
You didn't do that.

Speaker 3 (02:26:56):
You didn't do the pill pocket or the peanut butter
on the roof of.

Speaker 2 (02:26:59):
The mouth thing.

Speaker 25 (02:27:01):
I did everything wow this dog, including laying on the
floor with the dog waiting for that right moment where
I could shove it down his throat. But then I
got to where I was like, I might kill this poor.

Speaker 9 (02:27:12):
Dog just doing that.

Speaker 3 (02:27:14):
You know, did you ever think did you ever try
to administer it rectully? Three times?

Speaker 2 (02:27:21):
And I think I was doing it wrong. I was
holding the pill in my mouth. I think that might
have been.

Speaker 3 (02:27:27):
I put the pill right in the tip and.

Speaker 2 (02:27:30):
Whoa, the dog dies.

Speaker 9 (02:27:34):
The dog dies.

Speaker 25 (02:27:35):
I picked him up, put him in a trash bag.

Speaker 9 (02:27:37):
And put him in my friend's freezer.

Speaker 3 (02:27:39):
The dog dies while your friend is overseas.

Speaker 9 (02:27:43):
Yeah, he's over in Transylvania.

Speaker 25 (02:27:45):
WHOA.

Speaker 18 (02:27:46):
Okay, I call his mom and say, hey, listen has
Ultra marathon eighty miles.

Speaker 2 (02:27:53):
Or something like that. Anyway, I call his mom and
let him know, Hey, James, dog died you.

Speaker 3 (02:27:59):
I don't know who's going to talk to.

Speaker 25 (02:28:00):
Him about this, but I don't want to talk to
him about.

Speaker 18 (02:28:04):
Anyway, he got stuck in the second leg of that
race at like mile sixty on top of a mountain
in Romania and had to be helicoptered out of there,
and then flew back to the States to find out
that his.

Speaker 25 (02:28:17):
Dog was in a freezer.

Speaker 3 (02:28:19):
The whole time, the only thing that was keeping this
guy alive was the thought of being reunited with his
beloved pet. And Josh, Oh, I'm so sorry it is dead.

Speaker 25 (02:28:33):
I didn't realize two days of that dog not taking
the pill it would immediately keel over. But anyway, and anyway,
that went into my other thought. Stevie and I are
thinking about when our German shepherd Doberman, our attack dog
that turned good dog was thinking about having a taxidermy
and I looked in there, it's like one hundred and
sixty bucks.

Speaker 3 (02:28:53):
Yeah, there's a lot of people doing that. I mean,
depending on how much how many resources people have, they
can either go for the cloning or they could just
go for the taxidermain but which is kind of passive cloning.
But so, but you're very layer, Josh. What was the
aftermath with your friendship with the guy?

Speaker 2 (02:29:09):
Oh, it was good.

Speaker 25 (02:29:10):
Him and I His friendship would end a few months
later on a kayaking trip where he ran and hid
in the hit on a barge on the Mississippi River
because you know, I'm from Saint Louis and uh, because
he was afraid of some dude that showed up wanting
to talk to us, and he was just a coward.

(02:29:32):
And when this dude whipped to the thing out in
front of me and all this on his little john
boat on the Mississippi River, and I turned around to
look for my buddy and he was hiding. And then
when the guy left, Shane was like he came out
of the cabin on the barge and was like, oh, hey,
how's he going?

Speaker 3 (02:29:50):
And I'm like, bro, where have you been?

Speaker 2 (02:29:53):
And He's like, I was just in there looking. I'm like, dude,
you were hiding.

Speaker 3 (02:29:56):
So the dead dog, I'm not talking a dead dog,
didn't do it, but pirates on THESS Mighty Mississip got
him all jammed up. Okay, well all right, well then
you know what, Josh, I am gonna take your advice.
I'm not going to dog sit a dog with a
congenital heart defect. Thank you, Josh. There's a lot to unpacked.
There there is who yanked it out? Was his friend

(02:30:19):
or the guy that the guy on the boat and
he said his friend went and hid just because the
guy flashed them on the river.

Speaker 14 (02:30:26):
Yeah, I got I got lost in that. And you
never tell your friend that you stopped giving the pills.
You say, I don't like gaving the pills everything.

Speaker 3 (02:30:32):
I gave him the pills every day. No idea, what's
wrong with you? Yes, let's go to Central Michigan shell Way.
This is about forty five minutes west of Saginaw, Michigan.
The sag Nasty and a ninety seven year old woman
who was a former cheerleader at Meryll Community High School

(02:30:54):
got to do it one last time. A ninety seven
year old Illogene Dearing. Illogen is her name, I La
g e n E. Illogene Dearing was a cheerleader at
Merrill High School and some of the current cheerleaders at

(02:31:16):
the school are girls who volunteer at Candlestone Assisted Living
where she lives now. And she was literally on the
first cheerleading team. She was the one that introduced cheerleading
to her high school. That's how old she is. She's
ninety seven. She created the first uniforms for the cheerleading

(02:31:38):
squad at the school, and she's like all the other
I'm just I don't know what she sounds like. All
the other teams had cheerleaders in the schools and we didn't.
So they had a lady sew them for her, and
so they wanted to These girls wanted to make Illo
Jean's dreams come true, and so they put her back
in a cheer uniform and hoist her old ass up

(02:32:02):
and so she could relive the glory days. If you're
these girls, it's one of those things where it's a
nice gesture, but you can't believe they took you up
on it. And then you're like, oh no, like we
can't drop this woman right.

Speaker 2 (02:32:17):
Just shatters.

Speaker 3 (02:32:18):
Yeah, be like if you threw a bag of pretzels
off a balcony. So they get together and they try
to make her dream come true.

Speaker 2 (02:32:29):
Old to stop doing what you love.

Speaker 26 (02:32:30):
That message rings especially true for one woman at Candlestone
Assisted Living.

Speaker 3 (02:32:35):
Look at that they hoisted her up on their arms
and she's up there. She's got the MHS cheerleading outfit
on two teeth in her head and they're like, please
don't drop this woman. Please Midland.

Speaker 26 (02:32:51):
We caught up with the senior cheerleader and a few
of her new friends, giving old memories new life.

Speaker 2 (02:33:01):
Look at her, I mean, she's listen, she's ever been
in ninety seven.

Speaker 3 (02:33:06):
If it wasn't for me, you girls would know, none
of you would have been getting felt up under your sweater.
You know how many fat fingers I had to take
under the blachers to lay the ground work for you,
these corn pone farm boys fumbling around.

Speaker 26 (02:33:26):
Ilojeen Doring she's ninety seven years young and a former MARYL.

Speaker 17 (02:33:30):
Vandal cheerleader.

Speaker 3 (02:33:31):
I wish they'd stop young with the old. She's ninety
seven years young. She's ninety seven. It's fine, it's okay.

Speaker 26 (02:33:39):
But this week, with the help of the Meryl High
School cheer team and coach Jenet Lazer, she was able
to put her uniform back.

Speaker 17 (02:33:45):
On and even become a flyer for the day.

Speaker 15 (02:33:49):
And we're like, really, she just went yeah, she got
rid up there and stood right up and it was awesome.

Speaker 26 (02:33:56):
Ilogeen was a member of the school's very first.

Speaker 3 (02:33:59):
They have to pretend they're not terrified by the way
we have. This old woman even.

Speaker 26 (02:34:02):
Even helped create the first uniforms.

Speaker 10 (02:34:04):
I just just felt bad that Meryl High School didn't
have a cheerleaders when all the other schools had them.

Speaker 2 (02:34:13):
So we Wow, look at that grill.

Speaker 3 (02:34:15):
I mean, those teeth, what few she has left are
running away from each other. Wow. Now, if only she'd
had that few teeth when she was a cheerleader, she
probably would have been a lot more popular. But you know,
youth is wasted on the young something about it.

Speaker 10 (02:34:32):
We had a hard time finding orange material to make
her uniforms. We had a lady.

Speaker 3 (02:34:37):
That's sodom for us. Look at those modest, first generation
cheerleading outfits. They're dressed like the von Trapp family, and
they're out. They're doing their sis boom ba at Meryll
High School in Central Michigan. The visit a complete surprise, dilogen,
but a delight to be a part of wh.

Speaker 5 (02:35:01):
No, not at all.

Speaker 3 (02:35:02):
No, I just trusted them to do it. I'm not
expecting to wake up. I sure wasn't expecting to be
back in my cheerleader outfit. Were being hoisted.

Speaker 14 (02:35:13):
We took grandpa's leader hosing then turned it into our
first cheerleading outfit.

Speaker 3 (02:35:17):
He put it over his face when he robbed his
first bank.

Speaker 10 (02:35:23):
There were they wanted.

Speaker 3 (02:35:25):
I was embarrassed all the attention.

Speaker 27 (02:35:28):
We'd asked her if she remembered any cheers from when
she was in school, and we were figuring, and it
was probably eighty four eighty five years ago, and she
was right on top of it, and she said yes.

Speaker 17 (02:35:40):
When we walked in the door, she was already cheering.

Speaker 3 (02:35:42):
Before we could even start cheering.

Speaker 10 (02:35:44):
She was ready to go.

Speaker 3 (02:35:46):
Okay, God, imagine those first cheers. Right beat that team
like you beat us on dates.

Speaker 25 (02:35:58):
Higher than us.

Speaker 17 (02:35:59):
She probably ran.

Speaker 3 (02:36:02):
You need some little Ela Jean signs.

Speaker 26 (02:36:05):
All of our residents held these in the audience so
that they could cheer for Ela Geen while she was
up cheering.

Speaker 3 (02:36:09):
It was heartwarming. It was so fun to watch her up.

Speaker 2 (02:36:12):
There and see her smile.

Speaker 3 (02:36:13):
Can't measure if her family runs in and like, oh
my god, please stop. She she just she can't. She
can't do anything strenuous. She can't have any This is
too strenuous for her. She's ninety seven.

Speaker 26 (02:36:26):
Taught the girls, if you cheers, they planned to use
what was your favorite.

Speaker 2 (02:36:30):
Cheer to do?

Speaker 3 (02:36:31):
Come on, team fight, Come on, team fight. When I left,
she said, come on, team Fight.

Speaker 2 (02:36:36):
That's the thing.

Speaker 3 (02:36:37):
Come on, team fight.

Speaker 17 (02:36:39):
Without me, you wouldn't have Meryl cheer.

Speaker 3 (02:36:41):
And see that she actually said it. I was just
making it up. Without me, you wouldn't have cheering. You
Darrols would be getting felt up. Fight her teachers, not
football players.

Speaker 15 (02:36:51):
We took to get that started. And she's allowed me
to come in after her. A foundation that she built
and her pun rolls. They built this program and I
get to come in behind her and mentor girls all
the time.

Speaker 2 (02:37:06):
Blah blah blah.

Speaker 3 (02:37:06):
Can you imagine if they'd hoisted this old video and
she like peed all over the desk right like on there.

Speaker 2 (02:37:12):
He like when you pick up a.

Speaker 3 (02:37:13):
Frog and it immediately just you know, to make sure
she had a fresh diaper. Oh god, oh, oh my god,
it's all coming loose. Please quit me down, Please hope
for the numb of God. Do you care for what
you wish for Eila Jean you just might get it. Well.
Congratulations to her, And what a great, great heartwarming story

(02:37:34):
there out of Meryll, Michigan, west of Saginaw. Right there
in the middle of the middle of the fight, Team Fight, Fight,
Team Fight. It was so old that cheers didn't even
exist yet. Nope, take them up out of whole cloth,
just like the uniforms. Yeah, we had so many buckles.

(02:37:59):
The boys couldn't get underneath our skirts under the bleachers.
Were the first cheerleaders to show any skin. Yes, first
boy that put his hand under there. I thought that
meant that we were married. I waited to become pregnant
after that, and I would fight team fight.

Speaker 2 (02:38:20):
Oh what a what a heartwarming story. I love it.

Speaker 3 (02:38:24):
I can't get enough of that. Clearly they don't have
a dentist there at the at the convalescent home where
they went and found her. But I think it's nice.
That's called paying it forward.

Speaker 28 (02:38:38):
Eight five years ago she started the cheerleader. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (02:38:43):
They were just putting the last brick in the high school.
Jesus lady, we haven't even started teaching classes here yet, right.

Speaker 28 (02:38:51):
Well, she didn't even have the right to vote for
another show. Oh my god, yeah, holy cow.

Speaker 3 (02:38:57):
This was before suffrage. This boomba fight team fight is
all we came up with. We put our heads together
and that's all we had was fight team fight, And
boy did they fight. They fought over us, and then
they fought us. Then they fought us trying to undo
our buckles.

Speaker 2 (02:39:19):
The Allen Cox Show on one.

Speaker 8 (02:39:25):
Double UMMS, Cleveland.

Speaker 2 (02:39:28):
An iHeartRadio station.

Speaker 3 (02:39:31):
Let's not pretend any of this makes SI.

Speaker 2 (02:39:34):
I don't understand any of this. It's the Alley Cock
Show on the buzzard.

Speaker 3 (02:39:40):
Speaking of which I was reading that the term butt
load is an actual measurement. I always thought about it
was about five millileaters.

Speaker 2 (02:39:51):
Yeah, but it's but it's not.

Speaker 3 (02:39:56):
It's an actual it's it's meant to mean a large
amount of something. But it comes from the old English.
There was an old tiny you.

Speaker 2 (02:40:08):
There was.

Speaker 3 (02:40:08):
There was an old tiny unit of measurement called a butt,
which referred to large casks of wine or of other
you know, things that were at storing liquids, your wines,
your ales, and'd say go out there and tap that butt.
I'm I'm just reading this. I am I'm thirsty. A

(02:40:30):
butt back in the day could hold about one hundred
twenty six gallons or four hundred and seventy seven liters sou.
The etymology of it is that a butt load would
refer to the volume of liquid that fits into a
butt cask. Those of you who are probably home brewers
or maybe if you are well versed in how spirits

(02:40:53):
are made in store, you probably know this.

Speaker 2 (02:40:56):
I didn't know this.

Speaker 3 (02:40:57):
I didn't know that a butt load was one hundred
and twenty gallons. I'd never heard that before.

Speaker 2 (02:41:04):
But that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (02:41:05):
If you go back to that load. Of course, today
it's just laying. Somebody go, I got a buttload of whatever. Now,
if you opt for ass load, I don't know that
that's anything, but butt load is, in fact something.

Speaker 2 (02:41:22):
If you say.

Speaker 3 (02:41:25):
Gazun tite, pardon me, if you refer to something, you
got a shripload of something. I think that's the one
that most of us default to. I couldn't title last
time I said butt load, but there it is. Do

(02:41:45):
do butts have bunge holes? Rob? You know? Now you're
getting into an area that's uh you and Jerry Jones,
is that what you're talking about?

Speaker 9 (02:41:57):
Holes?

Speaker 2 (02:41:57):
Bung hole is the whole cask, right it is? That's right?

Speaker 3 (02:42:02):
So I'm guessing that's where they that that's where they
that's the whole that they bore into it so they
can put the uh to get stuff out or put
stuff in. Yeah, So would that be a bung hole
or a butthole. Well, it's still called the bung it
would be the bung of the butt cask, right, the
bung hole of the butt. Who knew that Old English

(02:42:24):
people were so laser focused on this stuff, although we've
taken it to mean other things, right, But I mean
it's that's what all these are called. I didn't know
that learning something new every day can.

Speaker 13 (02:42:38):
Take me, But you're kind of take me.

Speaker 3 (02:42:39):
Boohold me be a butt plug potentially too, I would, Yeah,
that's right, so we can all chuckle and have a
guff heart and hoot and holler over these things. But
it's interesting information to me that a butt load. If

(02:43:01):
you're using that as slang, just be aware it's a
real thing. You kind of like your slang. I don't
know by you, but I like my slang to kind
of operate independently of real life. I mean, there's obviously
a kernel of truth, but or nobody know what you
were talking about. But if I'm like, hey, I've got
a butt load of butt casks, that's very meta. Ellen,

(02:43:23):
what's the conversion rate from butt load to astn This
is where you get into weird stuff. I don't know,
sound familiar. Call the Law Offices of Lindy Kornhi have
worked as a busser at a restaurant and her supervisor
groped her breast while.

Speaker 17 (02:43:42):
The general manager looked on and did nothing. Does this
sound familiar?

Speaker 2 (02:43:47):
If so, call the law office.

Speaker 3 (02:43:49):
Of Lindy corn Mm hmm, allan, Is there any way
to know what it would sound like if a really
old person was trying to order a buttload of something
over a radio with some static. See now you're really
you're jingaing me here? Specific M how much is an

(02:44:09):
f ton?

Speaker 6 (02:44:10):
Well?

Speaker 3 (02:44:10):
This is what people are asking. I don't I don't know,
just know that. But is shrimp load is usually the
one I used? It's a lot, That's the one my
go to. Hey, we mentioned this a couple of weeks ago,
and I had never gotten to I've only seen him
in real life, a young man named Hayden Grove, which
sounds like a beautiful place to live. But it is

(02:44:33):
a guy who I met briefly when I was volunteering
as a bartender at a charity event a couple of
summers ago, and he was the entertainment. He's like an
old school crooner. He's a young dude and he was
over there at He was over there at Cleveland dot
com right. He was like their social media producer and

(02:44:55):
did some stuff for them. Good looking dude, great voice.
Apparently he was on that show, The Voice. I think
that's what we mentioned the time he was eliminated last night.
But once you're on one of these shows, that's kind
of your springboard, right, you don't have to be the
person who wins the show. Most people you know from
American Idol these other shows, they weren't the winners. It

(02:45:18):
seems like the winners have a worse time. Anybody heard
from Reuben Stuttard recently. I know there's a long time ago,
I mean, but I don't have I only watched American
Idol in the first four or five seasons. Where's Sanjaya
these days? What about William Hung Those weren't people who won,
but those were people who took America by storm. And

(02:45:39):
I don't know if that's what Hayden Grove did, but
he was good enough on this show where Adam Levine
is one of the judges put him on his team.
But the article I was reading is that Hayden Grove
was eliminated from the Voice last night. But again, this
is a great jumping off point because once you're on television,
then you become so and so from TV's the voice.

Speaker 10 (02:46:02):
You know.

Speaker 3 (02:46:03):
The only person I can think of who won and
is a big deal as Kelly Clarkson. And that was
the first season of American Idol. I don't know if Carrie.
I think Kerry Underwood won as well. Yeah, but a
lot of other people, you know, Reuben stuttered one and
then Clay Aiken was the guy, you know, but he

(02:46:25):
was the dude that got all the attention, was Clay Aiken.
And but over the years there have been people who
have won those kinds of shows and you really don't
hear much from them because the show itself was kind
of they were in kind of a microcosm there that
worked for what they did.

Speaker 2 (02:46:42):
But they get out there.

Speaker 3 (02:46:43):
Chris Daughtry, he's opening up for Disturbed in a couple
of weeks. He didn't win American Idol. He was like
fifth or sixth I think back in the day, and
he's been doing fine. He's not a career ever since.
I mean, he was one of the rare rock guys
in that genre of that television show. But worked out

(02:47:03):
for him anyway, Hayden Grove, who is a very talented guy.
Not on the voice anymore, but I imagine that he'll
be doing all kinds of amazing things because very talented dude. Yeah,
Michael boob Ley really liked him. So that was like
the he said kat he said boob. Did you hear
him saying that?

Speaker 2 (02:47:21):
Anyway? Oh my god, boob and lay ah boob.

Speaker 3 (02:47:28):
Yeah and lay he said boob and lay. Yeah. That's funny.
Oh man, mister boob, that's me b doubb boob.

Speaker 2 (02:47:41):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (02:47:42):
In other local celebrity news, you know what, everybody's making
the same joke, but it's worth it. It's another happy
ending for Deshaun Watson, who's now engaged to his girlfriend.
He gave her, what the saying is a two million
dollar engagement ring. A woman named Jilly Careful a nays.

Speaker 2 (02:48:10):
On Nis.

Speaker 3 (02:48:12):
Jilly someone is Deshaun Watson's longtime girlfriend. You want to
talk about a ride or die now? When your man
is making that kind of money, there's no way that
you're gonna bail because, first off, you don't believe all
these other trifling hoes anyway, you don't believe what they're

(02:48:35):
saying they're trying to bring down your man, and so
maybe he just wanted to clear all the legal stuff
before he before he wiped her up. But Deshaun Watson jeweler,
said that the rock that he gave her is called

(02:48:55):
the Glory Treasure and it's over tweedy carrots of diamonds,
diamonds twenty cats of diamonds, and Deshaun Watson's now fiance.

Speaker 2 (02:49:10):
Has it.

Speaker 3 (02:49:12):
The ring features eighteen carrot white gold. I don't know
if it was I don't know if it was a
psychosomatic response. Someone's called psychosomatic when your mind and your
brain are working in conjunction with something where there are
odds a psychosomatic reaction. I'm trying to say that the

(02:49:35):
first time I got married, our wedding rings were in
white gold, and it turned out that I had a
violent allergic reaction to white gold to the point where
my ring finger where the ring was was constantly irritated.
That's putting it mildly. And so at the time I
was like, well, this doesn't bode well. I'm not a

(02:49:57):
believer in that kind of stuff. I was like, this
might not bode well. Of course, ultimately it didn't. But
I don't know that one has anything to do with
the other. So I hope that he checked with his
woman if she had a possible allergy to white gold.
He and his girl, they say, worked for seven months

(02:50:17):
to create the perfect ring. I have to imagine that
you give her carte blanche, right, yes, honey, let's pick
out your ring. And she goes, well, it's a two
point five million dollars and he's like, that's walking around
money for me. That's settlement money for me, honey. So

(02:50:41):
Deshaun Watson is sorry, ladies. He's spoken for sounds like
he has been for a while. But you know, so
I wonder if she I wonder if she roped him
in Texas or oh, I'm sure you think so. Yeah, Well,
there you go. They referred to her as a cookbook

(02:51:02):
author and singer. They've been together since twenty nineteen.

Speaker 2 (02:51:06):
Oh, there you go.

Speaker 3 (02:51:07):
When he was with the Houston Texans and he hit
her up in the DMS. Hey good for him, man, listen,
you gotta shoot your shot. That's cat be creative or
the serbian queen on Instagram. Of course, she does have
a long distance boyfriend with whom we briefly facetimed yesterday.

(02:51:29):
Had you woken him from a nap? What was he
in the middle of when you just kind of ran
up and said, Hey, we're facetiming with my boyfriend.

Speaker 22 (02:51:36):
I'm not sure, but granted it was such high energy
at the Clevelander, so I'm sure it was a whirlwind.

Speaker 3 (02:51:43):
It really was. It really was. Oh honey, look at you.
You're running around.

Speaker 25 (02:51:48):
Now.

Speaker 3 (02:51:48):
How many people did you kind of walk around the
bar and show him or did you do it specifically
to put me in around? Yeah? Okay, all right, said, hey,
this is that in ros Who who those guys I
work with?

Speaker 2 (02:52:04):
Yeah? Where the radio station?

Speaker 13 (02:52:07):
What?

Speaker 3 (02:52:07):
Honey? You told me you were doing pampered chef parties.
I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never
heard of this. I thought you were going door to
door selling fuller brush. Speaking of the Browns, the rock
band Journey back to Cleveland, boy, they are really trying

(02:52:27):
to keep seasoned ticket holders happy. I don't know if
Journey's gonna do it with no disrespect to them, but
miss is, by the way, low key the most slept
on Journey song I'll be all right without You. The
late great Larry London on the drums, great great song
the peak mid nineties Journey anyway, whoever's left in that band?

(02:52:49):
It's Neil Sean and Arnel Pineda still in front.

Speaker 2 (02:52:51):
Whatever.

Speaker 3 (02:52:52):
But they are doing the first of its kind free
concert for season ticket holders.

Speaker 2 (02:53:03):
At the Hub of Fee And if you're a.

Speaker 3 (02:53:07):
Season ticket holder, you're gonna get to see Journey, who
are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Speaker 2 (02:53:13):
I don't know why.

Speaker 3 (02:53:14):
I heard Sainsbury talking about this earlier, and he's completely correct.
I don't know why they wouldn't just let you use
your season ticket seats. They're like, hey, I've get a
ticket and then we'll show you where you're gonna sit.
Why wouldn't you sit in your seats? Probably because already
they're probably not gonna be playing in the round, is
my guess. Let's set them up in the round. It's Journey. Yeah,

(02:53:38):
but what's the matter with Journey?

Speaker 14 (02:53:40):
I mean, maybe a ton of hits that not every
not even close to every seat in that place is
as he's a ticket, these massive gas. Well, so this
is going to be like an intimate concert. Well, I
imagine if they do it in the stadium, they'll have
to do just the lower heart. I mean, I don't

(02:54:01):
know how many season ticket holders they have, but it's
not enough to fill the stadium.

Speaker 3 (02:54:05):
And could you imagine that?

Speaker 2 (02:54:07):
Yeah, you know what.

Speaker 3 (02:54:07):
I'm done with this team. They suck.

Speaker 2 (02:54:10):
Done. I can't deal with this anymore.

Speaker 3 (02:54:11):
Deshaun Watson's a pain in the ass.

Speaker 2 (02:54:13):
Wait they're bringing Journey. Wait?

Speaker 3 (02:54:16):
Wait which Journey? Like the Journey, the Journey, the band Journey.

Speaker 2 (02:54:21):
Oh well, take my.

Speaker 3 (02:54:21):
Money when the lights take my money down in the city,
all right, man, So we thought that's the plan. That's
how we're gonna keep you, I mean list.

Speaker 14 (02:54:30):
If you can guarantee they play Stone in Love, I
will double my ticket order.

Speaker 3 (02:54:34):
Yeah they will. For season ticket holders. It should be
an all request show. Yeah, yeah, you knock it out. Yeah,
play only the young. They're gonna play them all. No,
I don't know what they're gonna do.

Speaker 14 (02:54:48):
But it's so odd of all bands. I mean, they
were they were great. I saw them, what when they
were here at the ballpark.

Speaker 3 (02:54:56):
I mean they were probably available. They probably had know.

Speaker 14 (02:55:00):
We have this great idea how to keep our season
ticket holders happy while all this Brooke Park nonsense is
going on.

Speaker 3 (02:55:07):
Let's let's bring in Journey. Let's bring in Journey. Let
them do their thing. This is the song stone in Love, Yeah,
off the Escape record. This is the I mean, if
there's gonna be one, this is the one to be.
Those listen at this point, I think that Arnel Peneda

(02:55:28):
has been in the band longer than Steve Perry, oh
for sure. But it is with respect kind of a
karaoke version, and that the dude kills it. They put
out a live album of years ago from their Lollapalooza set,
which everybody laughed at. But if you listen to that,
you're like, oh my god, is this good. But this

(02:55:51):
is of course the o G se Perry, Stone and Love.
So yeah, they're gonna play all these these guys can
go and do what forty five minutes. It's not like
they're gonna do a full thing, No, I bet they do.
You think a full concert for season ticket holders? I mean,
I think you have to why these people have already

(02:56:12):
spent the money, they've already bought their tickets. This is
the thank you for keeping your tickets, all right.

Speaker 14 (02:56:22):
You know, I can't take any more of these four
and fourteen seasons.

Speaker 3 (02:56:27):
But you know it's rob They're bringing Journey. It's just
a massive heartbreak to Sean Watson's good. They're bringing Journey
where April twenty fourth, it's a Thursday night where to
Hub of Feet, the Huntington bank Field where the Browns play.
You know, I was done till now a private concert
from Journey.

Speaker 2 (02:56:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:56:49):
I don't know if you heard, but Journey's coming, shock chat.
Do you know any Journey music? By the way, do
you know what songs?

Speaker 2 (02:56:59):
Do you know?

Speaker 3 (02:57:00):
Of course me? What songs do you know? Have you
ever heard stone in Love? No? Do you know Loving, Touching, Geezing?
The Journey song that you know?

Speaker 22 (02:57:12):
You don't believe it?

Speaker 4 (02:57:13):
Everybody knows that.

Speaker 3 (02:57:15):
Everybody knows that I want one that you know, well,
that's the one. Oh you know one Journeys, Oh.

Speaker 2 (02:57:21):
You know faithfully?

Speaker 3 (02:57:22):
Maybe if I heard it? Do you know open Arms?

Speaker 11 (02:57:26):
See?

Speaker 3 (02:57:26):
I think that I think front I think Frontiers is
still their best album, and that's not one with a
ton of hits, but I think it's got the best songs.
Like peak eighties, Journey is front Tiers. You doesn't want
the live one. It was only the young on that
was on Like the Vision Quest. I think it was
un raised on radio. Yeah, that's pretty good, but I

(02:57:48):
think that was also in Vision Quest or something. You
ever heard Open Arms? You ever heard Wheel in the Sky?
Have you ever heard Separate Ways? Worlds Apart? Yes?

Speaker 2 (02:58:00):
I know.

Speaker 3 (02:58:02):
A lot of stuff I know, But I'm like, if
you want to see a cringe worthy video from the
peak of MTV, watch Journeys Separate Ways where they're all
mugging for the camera and more sort of like a
terrible Yeah, they're jumping off of crates and parking yeah, parkour, parkour. Yeah,
they're jumping off buttfuls of casks or something. What about

(02:58:25):
Who's Crying Now? That's a great song too. Yeah, did
we stay? Love and Touch and Squeezing?

Speaker 12 (02:58:33):
I did?

Speaker 3 (02:58:33):
Got the brand new song here from Journey. It's called
Who's Crying Now? Boooo babe.

Speaker 14 (02:58:38):
It's one another points of it, the secondary post ac Wow.

Speaker 3 (02:58:47):
Yeah, a real pro. Yeah, I'll tell you what geez. Yeah,
that's right.

Speaker 14 (02:58:53):
Anybody can walk up to the lyrics, but you hit
that secondary post.

Speaker 12 (02:58:56):
I did.

Speaker 3 (02:58:57):
Friday night. I was at Lost Name Sports Park, which
is out in Willoughby. But it's like this giant sports complex.
There's people playing soccer and softball and all this other crap.
And then we're in like the clubhouse bar and some
people are chatting me up, some people i'd met before,
most of them I hadn't. All very nice, all very

(02:59:19):
pleased with the show currently. I guess they're big fans
of what you and I and Kat are trying to
kind of do. So one guy starts chatting me up.
He's like, hey, I need some advice. Always a great
way to start a conversation with me. I need some advice.

(02:59:39):
Saves me the trouble of offering it unsolicited, but he
goes so I'm he gives me his age, his wife
his early sixties, and his wife is a few years
younger than him. This is not some May December romance.
She's of course going through menopause. He as he is

(03:00:01):
a guy, he is as horny as ever, and he's like,
what's the solution. Of course, I reflexively said hookers. But
he does live in Willoughby, and you know, you got
to tread lately. So they've been together since high school.

Speaker 2 (03:00:17):
Long time.

Speaker 3 (03:00:20):
Showed me a picture lovely woman, right, It's not like
he's married to some scrub and he's like, what do
you think, I go, I don't have an answer for
you for that. You know, that is the amazing and
somewhat depressing thing about nature is nature is telling women.
And this is where like civilization and society had to

(03:00:41):
come in and try to change things, because even nature
is telling women you're only good for procreation, right. Menopause
is nature saying we're shutting down all of the stuff
that made you horny excited because nature doesn't you're past
your prime child bearing years. Nature doesn't need you anymore,

(03:01:04):
which is a real bummer. But I did tell him,
I said, you know, twenty years ago, twenty five, thirty
years ago, we were in the golden age of male
enhancement products. Right, they stumbled onto a multi billion dollar
thing with VIAGRAA that was heart medication. Turns out it
gave guys boners, and so they fell in. It's still

(03:01:27):
used for heart medication too, but that was not its
normal and intended purpose was boner pill. And so then
everybody raced to replicate that. I think Pfizer was the
company that first came out in the vigas. Anyway, I said,
so it's been thirty years of male enhancement products, pills
and lotions and salves and creams. And I said, these

(03:01:49):
companies now wisely are focusing on the women. So now
there are pills and lotions and salves and creams for
you ladies. I certainly hope this levels the playing field
in our nation's convalescent homes, because we all know what's
going on with Grandma and Grandpa, right Grandma Nature told

(03:02:12):
her you're done with all this michigas well. It told
Grandpa you're gonna have a diamond hard rod well into
your eighties, and you're gonna be chasing old women around
because you know. So this guy's telling me, like, obviously
postmenopausal ors, you're going through zero libido on the part
of his wife, but he still wants to get it on.

(03:02:32):
I said, all I can tell you is, and I
don't know from experience, but I said, you should look
into some of these female enhancement products. Now, just like
with the guy stuff, I said, I'm not talking about
gas station via. I'm not you know a lot of
that stuff. There's just as much nonsense mixed in with
all the other stuff. Are you trying to say horny

(03:02:53):
goat weed doesn't have the same effects do.

Speaker 22 (03:02:56):
You believe in like the aphrodisiac stuff, you know, like oysters.

Speaker 3 (03:02:59):
They say, yeah, I don't know, what's the big fuss
with that. No, that's why you'd have a rhinoceros and
elephant poachers murdering animals around the world because you got
dummies in these countries where they think the sun is
still talking to them. You know, they're like, oh, ground up,
rhino horn is really good for your parts of the world.
That definitely don't need more people coming into it. But

(03:03:20):
I mean, I hate a lot of oysters. I don't know.
I never really paid attention to it.

Speaker 22 (03:03:23):
But apparently it's not scientifically proven that it's like anecdotal
I mean, but yeah, due to high zinc content, which
is important for testosterone production.

Speaker 3 (03:03:38):
Yeah, but you know what is also important diet and exercise. Again,
it can't get more simple than that. People are like, well,
how can I.

Speaker 2 (03:03:46):
Just hit the gym?

Speaker 3 (03:03:47):
Bro?

Speaker 6 (03:03:48):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
is on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 2 (03:03:55):
Get out of it.

Speaker 21 (03:03:56):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way.
Be careful of what you do. Big brother is watching you.
Be Circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(03:04:17):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you, and all with our narratives. Remember Ovidis paid.
And when you watch that Davy screens, remember it works
both ways. You disappear in a wink. Unless you can

(03:04:43):
double think, you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is
watching you.