August 23, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I have been married for 14 years and we’re hanging on by a thread. We have two children and sometimes I wonder if that’s why he stays with me. We never talk about our problems. Things have happened in our marriage that would make a normal couple split up, but we’re not normal. At our wedding, one of his exes showed up and cried loudly while we said our vows. She was escorted out and he apologized to me on the altar..............................
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Steve Harvey Nation. Today are primaries in New York, Oklahoma,
and Florida. Please get out and vote. If you need
to register for the upcoming November midterms, go to when
we All Vote dot org. When we All Vote dot org.
Let's get serious about this voting and do our job.
(00:23):
We gotta do what we gotta do. We gotta do this, Okay,
come on Florida. Yeah, we show up for the generals.
We gotta show up for the midterms as well. All right,
and we're gonna switch gears. It is time now for
the Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
(00:44):
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
gonna read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours, all right to have
for another free job here it is to have the
Strawberry Letter. My good, fresh, shirless strowberry. Give Junior a raid?
(01:04):
Thank you, jor subject why does he keep me around?
Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have been married
for fourteen years and were hanging on by a thread.
We have two children, and sometimes I wonder if that's
why he stays with me. We never talk about our problems.
Things have happened in our marriage that would make a
(01:25):
normal couple split up, but we're not normal. At our wedding,
one of his exes showed up and cried loudly while
we set our vows. She was escorted out, and he
apologized to me on the altar. It was supposed to
be the happiest day of my life, but it was ruined.
That was the first red flag, and over the years
(01:47):
he kept me guessing about her. During our tenth year
of marriage, I had an accident one night and the
EMTs called my husband. I was in the car with
my boyfriend and he was in the car. So that's
the night my husband found out I was having an affair.
My husband never asked me one question about my affair,
(02:10):
but he did make a joke about being at the
wrong place at the wrong time. After my accident, there
were nights that my husband did not come home and
didn't call me. I felt like I could not say
a word because because I was full of so much
guilt for getting caught cheating. We still have sex and
act like a loving couple and outside of our house
(02:30):
for the sake of our kids. But he does sleep
in a separate room and said it's because he snores.
I will take the snoring and the talking in the
sleep just to feel his body next to mine in
the bed. I have no idea what's going on in
his head. It would have been easier if he had yelled,
scream or cursed at me four years ago, cursed me
(02:51):
out four years ago. I wonder if he still loves
me or not, or if he's got a woman on
the side. Is he with his ex that ruined our wedding?
Why does he keep me around? All? Right? This is crazy?
This is crazy right here. Surely, though, you are not
comparing what your husband's ex did, I mean, coming to
(03:14):
your wedding and crying during your vows. You're not comparing
that to your husband finding out you were having an
affair when your lover got pinned in the car after
that accident. Okay, these are two completely different scenarios here,
And I know you know that you were cheating. You
you were cheating, okay, versus a woman who cried at
your wedding. I mean, it's just not the same. It's
(03:37):
not the same. Why is he still with you? You asked.
That's a really good question, because men are definitely more
likely to leave and not take their wives back after cheating. Okay,
that's a proven fact, while the opposite is true for women.
Women generally, you know, after some counseling and some beggings,
some cleaning, a lot of times they'll take their husband
(03:58):
back after cheating. But like you said, maybe he is
staying for the kids. Maybe it is because you're comfortable
and convenient, Maybe you're familiar to him and he just
doesn't want to leave, or maybe he's having his cake
and eating it too with you. I mean, he can
still have sex with you, and he can stay out
all night and not call you and not come home,
(04:19):
and he knows you won't say a word because of
the guilt you feel for cheating on him. So it's
kind of like he's got you because of this guilt
situation that you put on yourself because of that, and
that's why I think he keeps you around. But the
question is why do you stay? Why do you stay
and take this? I mean, you guys got to work
(04:39):
the situation out. If it's to be worked out, Steve,
why does my husband keep me around after reading is letter?
I don't really know, but I have a real strong
opinion about it, and I'll share it with you. Y'all
been married fourteen years and hanging on by a thread.
It's not even a thread, lady. This letter is just
(05:02):
two people just in something. It's not being held together
by anything. We have two children, and sometimes I wonder
if that's why he stays with me. Well, that's the
only thing I can come up with. But I have
an even better reason later on. Though we never talked
about our problem, things happen in our manage that we're
(05:23):
making a normal couple split up. We're not normal. At
the wedding, one of his actually showed him cried loud,
Oh lor j that's why not me. I should have
(05:44):
been me. I didn't have a god got I gotta
dress you. I could have bought a dress doing the
most I got. Some friends wouldn't look good. Ay, bros,
bab I know your best man. Crime ain't even wait
on the part where the man said, is there anyone
(06:05):
here who would find na? See? First of all, he
ain't no real he ain't no real hoo boy, because
out of hand my boys, oh, lookout for any exit,
come to the dope. They don't even got me. Oh my,
(06:27):
one of my homees would have said, hey, donore you
go out there here, Na, and you would have known
exactly what they meant. Oh hey, yeah, get out, get out. Yeah. Well,
hang on, Steve, Okay, hang on. We'll get to part
two of your response. Coming up at twenty three minutes
after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject why does he
(06:49):
keep me around? We'll get back into it, try to
find out why right after this. You're listening show, All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject
why does he keep me around? Yeah, y'all got problems?
Two kids at you wedding? Oh started he one of
(07:11):
his ex was at crime Holland. Like I said, I
had I got some cute friends. Would have been brides. Man.
I know you'll bred man, right, I met your mamma.
(07:34):
Your mamma back here, you see mess around. Oh yeah,
she's back to taking her food. She was that scorted out.
He apologized to me at the autars supposed to me
to happen to day in your life but she roared.
You say that that should have been the first one
red flame. But then y'all didn't talk about it, so
(07:55):
you kept on so over the years, Uh damn it,
don't just go right there, roll under your desk, right,
I don't think that's ever happened before on the air, Steve,
So that was the first red flag. Then over the
(08:18):
years he kept me guessing about her. I don't well,
y'all don't talk, so I guess you ain't got nothing
to do, but cast you didn't bring up no more.
He just left you guessing. Y'all don't talk. And uh
but round about the tenth year the marriage, I had
an accident one night and the e MPs called my husband.
(08:39):
I was in the car with my boyfriend and he
was peeling in the car. You wrote that census like
it belonged. Now, yeah, you just put that in the
letder like what nothing doing out tienth year. I was
in the cars and then with my boyfriend and they're
gonna call my husband because he was peeling. Then, well
I don't know how so so SO called my husband
(09:05):
for what you should have walked off. Yeah, I can't
be in that car. You wasn't pinned in. He was
pinning then you couldn't get him out walk off. You
crossed the street at the corner, stole looking at the
whole thing. Well, how would she explain that to her man? What?
(09:25):
It's her car? Right? No, it wasn't her car. I
think it was her car. Wasn't and he was That's
why they called him. Yeah, she just said, penned in
the car. Yeah, oh, what I have just said? My
car was stolen. I walked off. Somebody stole the car.
I don't know how he got in the passenger seat,
(09:45):
but he got pinned in. That's probably how the car
flot though, and that's why they called her husband. Yeah, okay,
so that's the night my husband found out I was
having an affair. That's not true. My husband never asked
me one question about my family, because that's nothing. Night
he found out. He already knew. That's why he ain't
say nothing. But then he asked him. But he was
(10:07):
joking about being me being in the wrong place of
the wrong time after my accident. That was night that
my husband didn't come home and didn't call me. He
got a free pass. You know what your husband saying? Oh,
this is what we're doing. Cool. Oh cool. I ain't
got to play this off no more. I felt like
(10:29):
I couldn't say a word because I was fuelling so
much guilt for being caught cheat. Yeah. Now we still
have sex and act like a loving couple inn and
outside of our house for the sake of the kid.
But he does sleep in a separate room. And he
said because he's snowed, and he tied, it ain't choe knight.
(10:50):
It ain't Choe Knight. I got the rest. I would
take the snowing and talking in his sleep just to
feel his body next to mine in the bed. You
just won't slump. I have no idea what's going on
in his head. Oh I can tell you exactly what's
going on in his head. It would have been easy
if he had just yelled, scream and customed me out
(11:12):
four years ago. I wonder if he still loves me
or not. He ain't in love with you. You're sleeping
with another dude. He ain't in love with you. You
ain't saying you stopped having another fan. You didn't say that. No,
he don't love you, Or if he's got a woman
on the side, Yes, yeah, he don't come over, he
(11:35):
don't call you. He ain't playing cards. Yes, he got
another woman on the side. Is he with this extra ruled? Now?
Why is that a question? Why is that even important?
What difference you would make? Who he with? He would
more than one person. I tell you that right now.
He lived his best life. Why does he keep me around?
(11:58):
Are you kidding me? Why would he leave? Why not? Yeah,
here's a man that's getting all the sex he won't.
You still have sex with him, and he can come
in when he wants to stay out when he wants
to have sex with somebody else. You don't say nothing
about that, and you don't say nothing when y'all have sex.
(12:20):
What it's perfect scenario? Oh my god, Oh my god.
If it isn't a little miss hattatude, come on, that's
my favorite thing. I saw TikTok. I don't know who
the dude voice is, but they put it on a
(12:41):
little cute girls, little babies when they Oh my god,
if it isn't miss little missisaitude. That name Martin Laurence.
I didn't know where they got that from, really, but
I didn't know what it was. Anyway, lady, you're not
looking for answer to get out. So whatever, whatever, both
(13:02):
y'all in in trouble, y'all ain't got no marri Yeah,
the marriage is doomed. You're right. Poster your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now
coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, you
know what time it is, time for junior and sports talk.
Right after this, you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning
(13:23):
Show
Steve Harvey Nation. Today are primaries in New York, Oklahoma,
and Florida. Please get out and vote. If you need
to register for the upcoming November midterms, go to when
we All Vote dot org. When we All Vote dot org.
Let's get serious about this voting and do our job.
(00:23):
We gotta do what we gotta do. We gotta do this, Okay,
come on Florida. Yeah, we show up for the generals.
We gotta show up for the midterms as well. All right,
and we're gonna switch gears. It is time now for
the Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
(00:44):
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
gonna read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours, all right to have
for another free job here it is to have the
Strawberry Letter. My good, fresh, shirless strowberry. Give Junior a raid?
(01:04):
Thank you, jor subject why does he keep me around?
Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have been married
for fourteen years and were hanging on by a thread.
We have two children, and sometimes I wonder if that's
why he stays with me. We never talk about our problems.
Things have happened in our marriage that would make a
(01:25):
normal couple split up, but we're not normal. At our wedding,
one of his exes showed up and cried loudly while
we set our vows. She was escorted out, and he
apologized to me on the altar. It was supposed to
be the happiest day of my life, but it was ruined.
That was the first red flag, and over the years
(01:47):
he kept me guessing about her. During our tenth year
of marriage, I had an accident one night and the
EMTs called my husband. I was in the car with
my boyfriend and he was in the car. So that's
the night my husband found out I was having an affair.
My husband never asked me one question about my affair,
(02:10):
but he did make a joke about being at the
wrong place at the wrong time. After my accident, there
were nights that my husband did not come home and
didn't call me. I felt like I could not say
a word because because I was full of so much
guilt for getting caught cheating. We still have sex and
act like a loving couple and outside of our house
(02:30):
for the sake of our kids. But he does sleep
in a separate room and said it's because he snores.
I will take the snoring and the talking in the
sleep just to feel his body next to mine in
the bed. I have no idea what's going on in
his head. It would have been easier if he had yelled,
scream or cursed at me four years ago, cursed me
(02:51):
out four years ago. I wonder if he still loves
me or not, or if he's got a woman on
the side. Is he with his ex that ruined our wedding?
Why does he keep me around? All? Right? This is crazy?
This is crazy right here. Surely, though, you are not
comparing what your husband's ex did, I mean, coming to
(03:14):
your wedding and crying during your vows. You're not comparing
that to your husband finding out you were having an
affair when your lover got pinned in the car after
that accident. Okay, these are two completely different scenarios here,
And I know you know that you were cheating. You
you were cheating, okay, versus a woman who cried at
your wedding. I mean, it's just not the same. It's
(03:37):
not the same. Why is he still with you? You asked.
That's a really good question, because men are definitely more
likely to leave and not take their wives back after cheating. Okay,
that's a proven fact, while the opposite is true for women.
Women generally, you know, after some counseling and some beggings,
some cleaning, a lot of times they'll take their husband
(03:58):
back after cheating. But like you said, maybe he is
staying for the kids. Maybe it is because you're comfortable
and convenient, Maybe you're familiar to him and he just
doesn't want to leave, or maybe he's having his cake
and eating it too with you. I mean, he can
still have sex with you, and he can stay out
all night and not call you and not come home,
(04:19):
and he knows you won't say a word because of
the guilt you feel for cheating on him. So it's
kind of like he's got you because of this guilt
situation that you put on yourself because of that, and
that's why I think he keeps you around. But the
question is why do you stay? Why do you stay
and take this? I mean, you guys got to work
(04:39):
the situation out. If it's to be worked out, Steve,
why does my husband keep me around after reading is letter?
I don't really know, but I have a real strong
opinion about it, and I'll share it with you. Y'all
been married fourteen years and hanging on by a thread.
It's not even a thread, lady. This letter is just
(05:02):
two people just in something. It's not being held together
by anything. We have two children, and sometimes I wonder
if that's why he stays with me. Well, that's the
only thing I can come up with. But I have
an even better reason later on. Though we never talked
about our problem, things happen in our manage that we're
(05:23):
making a normal couple split up. We're not normal. At
the wedding, one of his actually showed him cried loud,
Oh lor j that's why not me. I should have
(05:44):
been me. I didn't have a god got I gotta
dress you. I could have bought a dress doing the
most I got. Some friends wouldn't look good. Ay, bros,
bab I know your best man. Crime ain't even wait
on the part where the man said, is there anyone
(06:05):
here who would find na? See? First of all, he
ain't no real he ain't no real hoo boy, because
out of hand my boys, oh, lookout for any exit,
come to the dope. They don't even got me. Oh my,
(06:27):
one of my homees would have said, hey, donore you
go out there here, Na, and you would have known
exactly what they meant. Oh hey, yeah, get out, get out. Yeah. Well,
hang on, Steve, Okay, hang on. We'll get to part
two of your response. Coming up at twenty three minutes
after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject why does he
(06:49):
keep me around? We'll get back into it, try to
find out why right after this. You're listening show, All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject
why does he keep me around? Yeah, y'all got problems?
Two kids at you wedding? Oh started he one of
(07:11):
his ex was at crime Holland. Like I said, I
had I got some cute friends. Would have been brides. Man.
I know you'll bred man, right, I met your mamma.
(07:34):
Your mamma back here, you see mess around. Oh yeah,
she's back to taking her food. She was that scorted out.
He apologized to me at the autars supposed to me
to happen to day in your life but she roared.
You say that that should have been the first one
red flame. But then y'all didn't talk about it, so
(07:55):
you kept on so over the years, Uh damn it,
don't just go right there, roll under your desk, right,
I don't think that's ever happened before on the air, Steve,
So that was the first red flag. Then over the
(08:18):
years he kept me guessing about her. I don't well,
y'all don't talk, so I guess you ain't got nothing
to do, but cast you didn't bring up no more.
He just left you guessing. Y'all don't talk. And uh
but round about the tenth year the marriage, I had
an accident one night and the e MPs called my husband.
(08:39):
I was in the car with my boyfriend and he
was peeling in the car. You wrote that census like
it belonged. Now, yeah, you just put that in the
letder like what nothing doing out tienth year. I was
in the cars and then with my boyfriend and they're
gonna call my husband because he was peeling. Then, well
I don't know how so so SO called my husband
(09:05):
for what you should have walked off. Yeah, I can't
be in that car. You wasn't pinned in. He was
pinning then you couldn't get him out walk off. You
crossed the street at the corner, stole looking at the
whole thing. Well, how would she explain that to her man? What?
(09:25):
It's her car? Right? No, it wasn't her car. I
think it was her car. Wasn't and he was That's
why they called him. Yeah, she just said, penned in
the car. Yeah, oh, what I have just said? My
car was stolen. I walked off. Somebody stole the car.
I don't know how he got in the passenger seat,
(09:45):
but he got pinned in. That's probably how the car
flot though, and that's why they called her husband. Yeah, okay,
so that's the night my husband found out I was
having an affair. That's not true. My husband never asked
me one question about my family, because that's nothing. Night
he found out. He already knew. That's why he ain't
say nothing. But then he asked him. But he was
(10:07):
joking about being me being in the wrong place of
the wrong time after my accident. That was night that
my husband didn't come home and didn't call me. He
got a free pass. You know what your husband saying? Oh,
this is what we're doing. Cool. Oh cool. I ain't
got to play this off no more. I felt like
(10:29):
I couldn't say a word because I was fuelling so
much guilt for being caught cheat. Yeah. Now we still
have sex and act like a loving couple inn and
outside of our house for the sake of the kid.
But he does sleep in a separate room. And he
said because he's snowed, and he tied, it ain't choe knight.
(10:50):
It ain't Choe Knight. I got the rest. I would
take the snowing and talking in his sleep just to
feel his body next to mine in the bed. You
just won't slump. I have no idea what's going on
in his head. Oh I can tell you exactly what's
going on in his head. It would have been easy
if he had just yelled, scream and customed me out
(11:12):
four years ago. I wonder if he still loves me
or not. He ain't in love with you. You're sleeping
with another dude. He ain't in love with you. You
ain't saying you stopped having another fan. You didn't say that. No,
he don't love you, Or if he's got a woman
on the side, Yes, yeah, he don't come over, he
(11:35):
don't call you. He ain't playing cards. Yes, he got
another woman on the side. Is he with this extra ruled? Now?
Why is that a question? Why is that even important?
What difference you would make? Who he with? He would
more than one person. I tell you that right now.
He lived his best life. Why does he keep me around?
(11:58):
Are you kidding me? Why would he leave? Why not? Yeah,
here's a man that's getting all the sex he won't.
You still have sex with him, and he can come
in when he wants to stay out when he wants
to have sex with somebody else. You don't say nothing
about that, and you don't say nothing when y'all have sex.
(12:20):
What it's perfect scenario? Oh my god, Oh my god.
If it isn't a little miss hattatude, come on, that's
my favorite thing. I saw TikTok. I don't know who
the dude voice is, but they put it on a
(12:41):
little cute girls, little babies when they Oh my god,
if it isn't miss little missisaitude. That name Martin Laurence.
I didn't know where they got that from, really, but
I didn't know what it was. Anyway, lady, you're not
looking for answer to get out. So whatever, whatever, both
(13:02):
y'all in in trouble, y'all ain't got no marri Yeah,
the marriage is doomed. You're right. Poster your comments on
Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now
coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, you
know what time it is, time for junior and sports talk.
Right after this, you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning
(13:23):
Show
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