What’s So Damn Funny

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
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This could be your letter. We could be reading it
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So write us, Okay, So write us right yeah, buckalo

(00:25):
you hold on tight. We got it for you. Here
it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject, what's so
darned funny? Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for
eighteen years and I'm dating a younger lady on the side.
I know what you're thinking, but my wife stopped having
sex with me two years ago, and she got smart

(00:46):
during an argument and told me I could do whatever
I needed to do on the side because she didn't
want me anymore. It hurt like heck, but I moved
on and met someone new. My side chick is married,
but she and her husband have been living apart for
four years. I'm fifty five and my girlfriend is thirty five.

(01:06):
She's tall and thick with a tiny waist. It was
love at first sight, and I wanted nothing more than
to make her mind. We didn't rush into sex because
I haven't been with another woman since I met my
wife twenty two years ago. When we finally had sex recently,
I admitted I was nervous. She thought it was sweet,

(01:29):
and she jokingly said she'd take good care of me.
When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed
her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I
thought I was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled.
I looked down at her. She had tears in her
eyes from all the laughing. I asked her what was

(01:51):
so darned funny, and she said she can tell I
have been married a long time. I was offended, but
I played it off and I let her take control.
I wasn't expecting what came next, and she had me
holding on for dear life. I got caught up in
her long legs and couldn't breathe at one point. Since

(02:12):
that night, she's been teasing me about wanting more. I
don't have the confidence to do it again. Am I
out of my league here? Or should I keep trying? Okay,
let me get this straight. Let me just get this straight.
For a second, you are asking, you were asking Steve

(02:33):
and I to help you be a better lover for
your side piece. Okay, I mean, is it over over
between you and your wife? And I guess according to
you it is. But you guys did try to make it.
You didn't try to make it work anymore after this,
right because your wife practically gave you away when she

(02:53):
said she didn't want you anymore and for you to
do whatever you needed to do on the side that
was like a permanent hall pass. I'm sure that hurt,
like you said it did, and it's been two years.
So what I don't get is why you guys didn't
just get a divorce. I mean, do you still do
things together? You just don't have sex. It sounds pretty complicated.
You're legally married but living single, and this sounds like

(03:16):
it's working for you. I mean, you must have some
sort of understanding or arrangement going on here, and your
girlfriend must too. I don't know. Anyway, fast forward to
the sidepiece. You may not have a confidence to do
it again, but she sure wants you to do it again.
She wants you to do it again with her, so

(03:36):
that should gets your self esteem, your confidence up a
bit right. Obviously she crushed your ego with all the
giggles and everything, but she didn't stop. She didn't leave you,
she didn't make fun of you. She didn't even tell
you to go back to your wife. So she's obvious.
She obviously liked something about you, and maybe she can
teach you a few things. So now the ball's in
your court. What are you gonna do? Steve? Who girl?

(04:02):
This letter here? What is so damn funny? Well, I'm
the man for this letter right here. Nice try, Shelly,
good Christian answers. They ain't what this letter is about.
This ain't about no can your madge workout? Could y'all
talking through the y'all still do things together? That is

(04:23):
not what this is about. Oh, I have found the
secret in this letter. The subject is what is so
damn funny? That's what this letter about. The hell you
laughing at, That's what the letter is about. I'm in
here with all, I'm giving it all I got. The
hell is so damn funny. So now let's talk about

(04:47):
this because here what happened? This man been married for
eighteen years, you're dating this younger girl on the side,
you know, and I ain't gonna talk to China. I
know you know what you're thinking. But my wife stopped
having set for me two years ago. She got smart
in an argument told me I could do what hell
I need to do on the side because she won't
meet no more. Okay, now I'm will show you something.

(05:12):
It hurt like hell, but I move on and I
met somebody knew my side chick is married. Now this
is critical information now, but she and her husband had
been living apart for four years. So now let's let's
do the math. Hill his man been married eighteen years.
His wife told him two years ago she don't want
to have sex. We know, told him to get something
on the side, Gonna do what he want to do.

(05:34):
He meets his side chick that what that is married,
but has been living apart from her man for four years.
I'm fifty five, My girlfriend thirty five. She tall and
thick with a tiny waist. Love at first sight. I
wanted nothing more to make her mind. She ain't rushing
this sex because I hadn't been seeing a woman since
I met my wife twenty two years ago. Another key

(05:56):
piece of information. Here we go when we finally had
sex recently, I admitted I was nervous when we finally
had sex. I was nervous. She thought it was sweet,
and she said jokingly she would take good care of me.
That's not that's a warning. That wasn't. Actually, that was
a warning. When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When

(06:18):
I rubbed her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled.
I thought I was showing out, but every few seconds
she giggled. I looked down at her. She had tears
in her eyes from all it laughing. I asked her,
what was so damn funny? Hold on, hold that thought, Steve.

(06:42):
We'll have part two of your response coming up in
twenty three minutes after the hour. You're gonna find out
what's so darned funny when we come back right after this.
You're listening, all right? Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
strawberry letter. The subject is is what's so done funny? Now?

(07:03):
I'm never taking this long down in the letter. I'm
three fourth through with the letter before I have made
a point. But let me just do a recap so
you can understand this fifty five year old man. It's
dating a thirty three year old chick on the side
from his wife, who he's been married to eighteen years,
but for the past two years they haven't had sex.

(07:24):
She told him go do it. He won't. She don't
want him anymore. The side chick has been living separate
from her husband, separated for four years. He met her
long legs, smallways, pretty face, fell in love at first sight,
wanted her, but he hadn't had sex with another woman

(07:46):
in eighteen twenty two years. She said, it's okay, I
take care of you. I consider it at a warning,
but he don't know that because he been with nobody
else in twenty two years. He kissed on the next
she started laughing. He rubber skin, She started laughing, touch
her feet, laughing. Every time he flipped to a new position,

(08:07):
she laughing. He looked down. She got tears in her
eyes from all the laughing. I asked her what was
so damn funny? And she could said, She said, I
can tell you've been married a long time. Well, the
question of the letter is what is so damn funny?
And the answer, you, your asswer, is what she laughing at?

(08:29):
I tell you what's so damn funny? First of all.
That's why your wife told you she laughing at your
little sex moves, and she laughing at all the little
stuff you trying. That's why your wife told you two
years ago, don't touch her, no damn more. And you
can go do what you wanna do, because your ass
ain't frying. No bacon up in here like I like
mine extra crispy, and you in here serving up all

(08:51):
this raw ass bacon. Your grief ain't even hot. So
now then she to put you out. Now, you gotta
look at who you're dating. This woman had to put
this thing only. And you don't know what to do now,
you said in the letter, I was offended and played
it off, and I let her take control. I wasn't
expecting what came next. She had me holding on for

(09:11):
dear life. I got caught up in her long legs
and couldn't breathe at one point, NA wanna know what
happened right there. That's why she been separated for four years,
because she too much you, too much for one man,
but not enough for two. That's a beer with her song.
She in her bone crushing men walking, break it off.

(09:38):
You getting stuff happening to you? You ain't never had before.
You scared you in that scared she in that too much.
She over experienced. That's why her husband had left her
for four years. He's somewhere trying to pull hisself together.
Your wife don't want you because you don't know what
your ass is doing. You fifty five. I don't know

(09:58):
what made you think you could do this, thirty five
year old girl. Your wife didn't want it no more.
She don't want it now. This is what this letters about. Dog.
So now listen to me. You said since that night,
she's been teasing me about wanting more. I don't have
a confidence to do it again. And I'm am I
out of my league here? Or should I keep trying? Now?

(10:20):
Problem way out your knee. You're a bit off moting.
You can choot and you can't choot baby girl because
the baby girl is a man eater. She's a man
she's a man eater. Yeah see, they wrote songs about
everything back then. You did in love with a man either,
and you ain't got nothing to eat called your ass

(10:43):
is inadequate, you sing o't? Are you all that old
baby kissing on the net? She don't want that rubbing
her skin flip over and watch this. You let her
take control. She locked your mucke ass up. You didn't
know where I can't read what you do. Ay me,

(11:05):
this is too much. Let it go stop, let it
go check your punk asser. Yeah, now listen to me.
This is ain't not gonna work out for you. Dog.
You need to stop this right now. Now, what you're
gonna have to do is you're gonna have to do
some practice. But you're fifty five. You ain't got any

(11:26):
tank what you had, so now you gotta do selective practice.
That's something I read a long time ago that a
man has a certain amount of pleasure explosions, let's call
it uh huh in his lifetime. At fifty five, you
are on the cusp of running a little low on

(11:52):
the number you got left, so you need to be
most selective. The man eater is gonna snatch yours from you,
and you ain't gonna have none left you already. Sorry,
the two women you've been with laughing. Your wife then

(12:16):
told you to get somebody on the side because she
don't even want it, no bo. And now the man
eat it an h up one time and said let's
just try it again, and you ain't got the confidence
you sho doing. She's doing everything, She's doing everything. He
ain't doing nothing. All right here in the corner skin

(12:37):
he trimmling and shook the blanket over in the corner
and pull it over his little naked head bollet just
sucking his thumb. I don't know what to did. Post
your comments on today Strawberry Letter and Steve Harve and
check out the Strawberry Letters podcast on demand now coming
up at forty six minutes that to the hour. We

(12:58):
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