Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well. Kevin Hart is taking over Resource World, Las Vegas
for Heartbeat weekend July sixth through the ninth, for four
days of comedy and music with live performances from Kevin Hart,
j Cole, Jack Harlow, Ludacris, and Moore.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And you're going to love this. We're giving away a pair.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Of tickets to see Kevin live at Resorts World Theater
on July seventh, including round trip coach airfare and two
nights Hotel accommodations at Resorts World, Las Vegas. You can
enter now and get rules at Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
It is sponsored by AEG Presents. That's Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
(00:40):
For all the info that sounds like fun.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
We do it big, We do Kevin.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I want to go.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
All right.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It is time now, guys, for today's Strawberry Letter. And
if you need advice on a relationships, dating, work, sex,
parenting and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to STEVEHARVEFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now, and
you never know it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
So right would be yours. Let's buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it for you. Here it is
strawberry letter.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Thank you nephew.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Subject body oils, gels, lotions and potions. H All right,
dear Stephen Shirley. I'm forty eight years old and divorced.
I'm seeing an old friend from work that is also divorced.
He has been dating a lot longer than I have,
so it started off as him hanging out with me
so I was not lonely. I needed to start out
(01:37):
by saying that this man used to light up the
office with cologne when he walked in. It's like he
bathed in it every morning, and it completed. It competed
with the extra fabric softener smell in his clothes. I
have sensitive sinus issues, so he'd make me sneeze whenever
I got close to him. Nothing's changed, really, except he
(01:59):
now used the lot of body oils, and he continues
he combines the oils for different purposes. The other night,
we went to an outdoor concert and he made up
a natural bug repellent that made people and bugs want
to run from him. When it comes to making love,
he can't get started without giving me a sensual massage
(02:20):
with oils he concocted.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I have asked him.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
To stick with lavender, but he sneaks other oils in
on me. Getting ready to go out with him takes
forever because his body oils. Because of his body oils,
his gels, his lotions and potions. He also loves to
rub crystals and burned sage when something doesn't go his way.
I know this is all new age stuff, but I
(02:44):
believe in deodorant and not oils. When the oils wear
off and he starts sweating or exerting too much energy,
he needs a real deodorant, not the gel stuff he
puts under his arm. Having said all of that, I
do care for this man. We have history.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
My husband was.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
A big country bumpkin who worked hard and took care
of me. He showered with manly soap and did yard work.
But my boyfriend is more into self care than me.
Should I kick him to the curve because he's greasy
and smelly, or do I ask him to tone it
down a bit? A good man is so hard to find, well,
(03:22):
you know, to you, I just say this, cleanliness and
smelling good those are deal breakers.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Those really are deal breakers. I mean, what else is there.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You got to be able to stand this person, to
be in the same room with this person, to be
around this person, and of course be intimate with this person.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I mean, if he stinks, there's no chance of that. Right.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
A good man is hard to find, But that's no
excuse to settle for some funky smelling man. It's just
not You got to talk to him. You got to
tell him about his odor. You got to tell him
how it makes you sneeze, all of that stuff. I mean,
ask him to lighten up, to tone it down. You've
asked him that he didn't do it. He's always sneaking
some kind of oil in it in on you. I mean,
(04:06):
maybe he can use one oil at a time and
tell him the oils he uses you don't like the
way they smell. You gotta tell him this is the
only way he can be with you. I mean, maybe
he'll be embarrassed if you tell him this stuff. Maybe
he'll be mad at you. But at least if he
really cares, maybe he'll stop using so many of these
stinky oils. Then you can give him a care package,
(04:28):
you know, with some nice smelling soaps in it. You know,
and of course some deodorant and some cologne. If he refuses,
I just think he'll be over there stinking by himself.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I mean this is important, cleanliness, smelling good, all of that.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Steve, Well, let's get started. This is a letter about
a crazy person. That's what this is. Right here, you
are dating a damn lunatic. I don't know how else
you see this.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
I know how you see it differently because you forty
eight y on and divorce and you just start seeing
this old friend from.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Work that's also divorced. Oh wonder why.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
He got divorced. He's been dating a lot longer than
I have. So it started out as him just hanging
out with me. So I wasn't lone, Okay, So here
we go with this old friend and stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Again.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
I told y'all about this dream. He an old friend
of yours from work. Now now y'all sleeping together. Now
you got to put all this cris go home and everything.
He likes to smell of fresh bacon. Now he just
rubbing your ass down in bacon's greens off stove. He
got off that Maxwell coffee cab. Now your nut ass
and got involved with this man. Now you said you
(05:38):
want to start off by saying that he used to
light up the office with cologne when he walked in.
It's like he bathed in it every morning, and it
competed with the extra fabric softness smell in his clothing.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
What what?
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Then you said, I have sense ofive sign his issues,
so he'd make me sneeze whatever I got close to him.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
What are you seeing him for? He is offensive?
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Then you say, nothing's changed, really, he's still walking in
the office light. Then you still sneezing. He's still bathing
in all these alls, and nothing's changed really, except now
he uses a lot of body alls that he can
combines the alls for different purposes.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
The other night we went to outdoor concert.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
He made up a natural bug repellent that made people
in bug.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
What did he put on? What did he put on him?
Speaker 5 (06:33):
That's got everybody running at the park.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Hang on, Steve, hang on.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour today.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Hold I said, great raid on your self.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Body oil, gels, lotions and potions.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
hard morning shows, All right?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
the oils, gels, lotions and potions.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Just for there.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
You're a woman who is divorced started seeing an old
friend from work. I have told y'all about these friends.
They cannot stay there long if not if you, they
are attracted to you, you couldnot be friends with the
person you're attracted to.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It doesn't work for me.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
And if you're an attractive woman and you look good
to this man for whatever the reason, whoever you are,
all women are attractive to somebody, then that man wants
to sleep with you. So why y'all can't understand this?
Damn quitnin looking in the zoom monica like you can't
believe me.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yes, if the man is in your.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
Face and he's attracted to you, he wants to be
your friends so he can try to sleep with you.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
What y'all missing about this? Just go back in your life.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
And think of all the men that was friendly to you,
and the moment they thought they had a chance, ain't
they asked you for some Wow, every last one, all
your friends that joked about.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
I come by there in hollering.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Know what, Sorry?
Speaker 5 (08:09):
I bet I know? I bet I bet I know,
I wish I was over there. Girl, you're crazy. You
don't go see the movie. So now this man. You
started seeing this man, but he used to come into
office with clone when he walked in, and like he
bathed in it, and he combined it with his fabric
softening and you got a sensitive sign this issue. So
(08:31):
he made you sneeze whenever you got close. Why are
you dating this man? Nothing changed really except now he
used a lot of body oars and he combines the
oars for different purpose. Other night y'all went through out
there concert and he made up a natural bug repellent
that made people in bugs want to run from him.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
What did he put on?
Speaker 5 (08:52):
He'd have sprayed raid on his ass and then came
back and topped it off with some hosster.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Not yeah, hoss thought he was good and put a
little bit of polo on it.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Hm.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
You know because the polo with the emblemental polo bottle
of green bottle with the gold cap got a horse
on it, and that all to keep the bugs off
a horse.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
So he put that on too.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
When it comes to making love, he can't get started
without giving me a sensual massage with alls.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
He concocted. Now he rubbed it.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
He liked bacon, so now he didne went down there
in the kitchen and got it scooped up on it.
Hand of that bacon all off that coffee can on
the stove.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Now you have.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
They're rubbing your hands down with bacon grease. But you
like lavender, so he throw a little bit and lavender
on with it. Now you're feeling hot and tingley. You
smell like hot sweet meat. I've asked him to stick
with lavender, but he sneaks other off in on it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
What's wrong with this fool? You dat.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
Getting ready to go out here and take forever because
of the body of all jail potions and loss. He
also loves to rub crystals and burn sage when something.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Don't go his way.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
So you got a man in here that's burning saves
and holding crystals when some don't go his Daggaman's fround
such you'll house fire, I see that right now, y'aggle
lose all your homeowners and insurance right here.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
You're up here with this little strong as he smelled.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
Like that a whole He smell like that whole shrink
that be on the streets in New York and brothers
up there be selling them all. Yeah, you get caught
up at that stand sometimes because some gonna smell good
to you. But if you're buy Moting three, you feish stink.
I'm just gonna tell you that right now. If you're
buy Moting three of them little vials of oil you feel,
(11:01):
don't let nobody tell you that's ood.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Would That ain't what that is?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Now?
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Look, I know this is all new age stuff, but
I believe in deoda and not oil. See, he putting
aill under his own oil is not a funk terrent.
It is like putting a mask on an ugly person
giveing the Halloween party, and an ugly person put a
(11:26):
mask on, and for some reason he got to take
his mask off so he could sip a drink, and
he looked the same with the mask off. I mean,
it's just Halloween for his ass all the time. That's
what you're dealing with here. Having said all that, I
do care for.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
This man, and we have history.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
What history, y'all just been friends that he's been a
friend of yours. He's wanting to sleep with you the
whole time. That ain't history, But.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Y'all history ain't been that good though.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
He make love to you, spreading all this stuff on you. You,
and there you got deep woods bug repelling on y'all
fin to make love. And then he coming there with
that bacon grease. Now you got a little sandwich spread
on you. Here, that got mayonnaise. He working with your
ass with mayonnaise on, and all this here and you're
just in here.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
She's just a damn samwich.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Now.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Now, my husband was a big country bumpkin who worked hard,
took care of me. He showed with manly soap, did
yard work. Don't know, but my boyfriend is more than
a self care than me. Should I kick him to
the curve because he's greasy and smelly? Or do I
ask him the tona? A good man is so hard
to find? What is good about this man? You have
(12:44):
not said one good thing about this man. I'm trying
to figure out you just want somebody, so I don't
stay with his big sting ament. As Steve Harvey FM
and in Supreamar he gonna wear a coconut with axle grease.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Oh and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the
free iHeartRadio app downloaded today. Coming up at forty six
minutes after the hour, we got sports talk with Junior.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Right after this, you're listening Harvey Morning Show.