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February 12, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a Christian woman and new to dating. I was married for twenty two years and my husband divorced me in 2022. I have dated men at church and men that my friends hook me up with. I'm very traditional, so I like to be courted. I want my doors opened, and I want my man to order for me and when we're on a date. I also like passionate love making and refuse to settle for wham bam thank you, mam in the bedroom.......................................................................

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on work, relationships, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com by clicking
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
All right, thank you. A few subject he can light
the candle but can't keep it lit. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm a Christian woman and new to dating. I was
married for twenty two years and my husband divorced me
in twenty twenty two. I have dated men at church
and men that my friends hook me up with. I'm

(00:47):
very traditional, so I like to be courted. I want
my doors opened, and I want my man to order
for me and when we're on a date. I also
like passionate love making and refuse to settle for whamb
Thank you, mam. In the bedroom. I met a handsome
younger man online and his profile said he loves older women.
We've had a great time getting to know each other.

(01:10):
Then he kept pressing me to take the relationship to
the next level so we could see if we're really compatible.
I don't know why he rushed things, because he has
troubles in that area. He can light the candle, but
it doesn't stay lit for very long. The first time,
he was embarrassed and he jumped up and left my
house in a hurry. I told him that maybe it

(01:33):
was just stage fright, but the other three times the
same thing happened. Then for the fourth try, we did
a lot of pregaming, and he couldn't hold up through that.
I asked if he's attracted to me, and he assured
me that he is. I'm in good shape and I
look good naked. I don't want to throw him away

(01:53):
just because he can't last past two minutes. I also
don't want to seem desperate and let him think it
is okay be quiet that he's being passed, that he's
being that he's being pleased, and I'm not. I usually
can go to my pastor for advice on anything, but
I'm not comfortable asking him about this. What's wrong with

(02:13):
the wick of his candle? Well before we get into
that two things I quickly want to point out, after
twenty two years of marriage, I'm sure you used to
things being a certain way in the bedroom, so please
try not to compare other men with your ex and
what you guys had going on. Two, you never mentioned
why your husband divorced you. I would think that's vital information.

(02:37):
But moving on, I was gonna say, it doesn't sound
like this new younger man is attracted to you at all.
But you said he assured you that he was attracted
to you. So if he is attracted to you, what's
the problem. What is the problem. It sounds like he
has some sort of medical problem, like ED or something

(02:57):
that could be why he's single and on a site,
he's bad and bad. He doesn't know how to please
you or any other woman because he gets too excited
every time you you know, every time you guys do it.
And you don't have to keep doing this, okay, you
don't to make him think it's okay, you can stop
right now. You're two grown people. You have to address this.

(03:20):
The question is is it physical? Is it mental? Is
it just plain lack of skill? Or is he lying
about being attracted to you? If one of these is
the case. Can it be fixed? And you're right, I
would not take this to the pasture. He might scold
you about Christians fornicating in the first place, and I
know you don't want to hear that, Steve.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know, I don't know if you all will recall,
but I've said on several occasions when the letter pops up,
I don't know nothing about this.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
I ain't gonna be able to help you. Well, just
not on the zoom. If you've heard me say that,
just not on the zoom.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Okay, Sureley, this was the perfect time for you to
say that. This is a perfect time for you.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
You don't know nothing, poptic.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Man, I'm trying to help her.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
The brave attendance you information. You need to talk to
a man. See the question is he can light the candle,
but he can't kip it this.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
If you don't have a candle, you ain't gonna be
able to handle this question, right, I happen to have
a candle.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
I have a candle. I got the wicked I'd have.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Had it lit my whole life in the candle. I
had a candle burner on both ends and the middle too.
I know all about candle work. So now I'm gonna
take you and show you really what the real deal
is with this whole letter.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
You're a Christian.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Woman, knew the Dayton, married twenty two years, Your husband
diverse divorce you in twenty twenty two.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
You ain't see the correlation.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
I figured he got it together, been married twenty two,
married twenty two years. It's twenty twenty two. That's a
sign from God to get out. That's why they got divorced.
He surely you missed that right there. They've been married
twenty two years. He divorced her in twenty twenty two.
You ain't see the sign. That's a sign from God.
Twenty two. Yeah, that's the number two it's going.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
You should have looked it up. You see the number
book two.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
If you have a dream and you see twenty two,
twenty two, it's a number you sposed to play.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
So now you got that out the way.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
I dated men at the church and men my friends
hooked me up with. I'm traditional, so I like to
be caught at one the doors open on the date.
I like passionate love, metal making, a refuse to settle
for wam bam, Thank you, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
In the bedroom.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
So I know you're a Christian, but you out there,
you wiling a little bit because you when you've been
on a bunch of dates and it's okay, just remember
the number we should be talking about it just three.
But it sounds like you try a whole lot of
other stuff in this letter. I met a handsome younger
man online said he like older women, pressed you by

(06:08):
the relationship, didn't want to go to the next level.
See if y'all was a compatible you say, I don't
know why you rush thing because he has trouble in
this area. He can light the candle, but it doesn't
stay lit very long. What that means is he can
he's ready for the occasion, but he can't last the
entire huh two things, several things. He loses interest midweight.

(06:33):
It ain't what it was when it started.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have he has an adequate blood float.
Hang on, Oh, I'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour of
today's subject. He can light the candle, but can't keep
it lit. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening hard morning show. Come on, Steve, let's recap
today's strawberry letter. The subject is he can light the candle,

(06:59):
but can't keep it lit.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Lady been married twenty two years. Her husband divorced her
in twenty twenty two. He took the twenty two years
of marriage. He took the year twenty twenty two and
saw that as a sign from God to get out.
So then you started dating me and at the church
people that your friends hooked you up. When you met
this young dude online said he like older women, so
you tried him.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
You don't go for that. Wam bam, thank you, ma'am.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
And you all were having a good time getting to
know each other, and then he wanted to press to
get physical, taken to the next level. You said, I
don't know why he rushed things because he has trouble
in that area. So here comes a letter. He can
light the candle, but it does not stay lit for
a long time.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Here is the problem. I will tell you what it
is right now.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
If it don't stay lit for the duration, it is
because of a couple of things, several things.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
It's not what it was in the beginning. That's one.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
You have blood flow issues and some men just can't
sustain for throughout. That's the problem. But now let me
help you. The first time he was in bass, he
jumped up and left my house in the here. I
told him maybe it was just stage fright. Shut up,
What the hell are you talking about stage fright?

Speaker 2 (08:18):
That ain't even what stage fright is.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
So that was an ignorant, ignorant analogy of what you
thought was wrong? Are you You could put wow man,
that you too, Shirley, You can put that with everything else.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Shelly said about it, what she thought it was.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
You put stage fright right on over there in Shirley's reply,
because Shirley thought that was good too.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
It ain't. But the other three times the same thing happened.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Then for the fourth time we did try a lot
of pregaming, and he couldn't hold up through that too much.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Now let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
If a man has trouble last and what you can't
do is take all the lasting time and put it
in a pre game two minutes I had a trainer.
Nobody in the letter said nothing but listen to me.
Should you had your turn to answer, letting you did.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
It, but you brought me into your answers. You don't
have a candle. I told you that.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Let somebody talk that's got a candle. Ain't got an
old ass candle. Let somebody talk. I said no about this.
I got a sixty seven year old candle. Let me
change something with you so you can learn yourself something.
So now the fourth time he did a lot of
pre You can't do pregaming.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
You already have trouble last.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Now you're gonna you're gonna lose it all in the
pregame show.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah, See that's why before the football game they out
they doing certain stretches.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Ain't nobody running up one honey yard dashing.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
You got save all that they do leg exercises, warm up,
hip flexes and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
That's what you should have did. You should have just
been in there talking, eating ships and.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Stuff, even taking your little pills, grinding them up, sprinkling on.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Top of tapioka and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
So you.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Just tell you some tricks, fellas.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
If you push me, spray, if you cut them, if
you don't take the whole pill, crunch it up, that
that part dissolve and then put it in food and
swallow it. It ends your blood system a lot fast
and just try and help you. Sometimes you ain't got
no hour that don't take a piel a hour before
and noll, crunch it up, crunch it up, put it
under your.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Tongue, chew it right, sho.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
The damn blood. Since I'm talking about you ain't got
to wait. Cut up you there, see that swallowing it you.
You gotta get in got the milk, crunch it up,
put it under your damn tongue and watch the.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Magic show.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
Like now the candle has a thaate And then you
can't just follow the instruction. Sometimes your little problem is
more severe. Sometimes you need one and a half tabit.
Sometimes you need to take to tap it in the
morning and then two hours before an hour.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
You gotta get it in your system. Damn listen, somebody
got a candle.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, now got a candle and he and then that
didn't last for the pregame. I asked he was attracted
to me. He assured me that he is. I'm in
good shape and I look good naked. Well, you know,
everybody look good naked when they first take their clothes
to what notybody and everybody look good when you first
take the clothes off, because it's like a wild moment.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
But then after you lay that, you started discovering.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Oh yeah, a lot of stuff when you lay down
and run, a lot of stuff. When you lay flat,
it run, you know everything. It's different when it's stand up,
lay down and run. So now I don't want to
throw him away just because he can't last past two minutes.
I also don't want to seem desperate to let him

(11:54):
think it's okay that he's being pleased and I'm not.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Well.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
He gonna have to do some other things. See, he
gonna have to bring hes gonna he had to get
some help. He got to come up in there. He
got to learn some other things because the little candle
he got ain't working.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Now, you never said how you was, but his little
candle ain't working. Good.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Now I can usually go to my password. I don't
take this in there to your pastor he gonna end
up trying to help you out.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Here, man too.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Don't take that in that to the past. What's wrong
with the wick in his candle? Well, the cord is
that the cord in the candle, It is damage. Leave
your boy been with you sixty years, You've been in there.
Just on today it's been on tour. You had it

(12:45):
all over the place, been all over the country with it.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Steve, check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast. It's
on the free iHeart Radio app where free never sounded
so good. Coming up next it is Junior when Sports Talk, when.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
She talks to Wax around the Countary, Ain't got nothing
to do with the week.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Right after this, Ali, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show,
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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