July 4, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m married to my high school sweetheart but we have only been married for 4 years. After high school, we went our separate ways and he was married for 20 years and had 3 kids with his wife. I was married for 13 years and I got a divorce and was raising my 2 children alone, when I reconnected with my high school sweetheart. We blended our families and picked right back up where we left off in high school....................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Buckle up and hold on tag and what we have here,
it's Strawberry Lenin.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
You're stupid, Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Subjects he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but we have
only been married for four years. After high school, we
went our separate ways and he was married for twenty
years and had three kids with his wife. I was
married for thirteen years and I got a divorce and
(00:51):
was raising my two children alone. When I reconnected with
my high school sweetheart, we blended our families and picked
right back up where we left off in high school.
We have lots in common and we share a lot
of old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having
in the marriage is when my husband mentions how his
ex wife did things and he compares me to her.
(01:15):
He makes sure he always gives me credit as being
better than his ex. But I need him to stop
mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab boil and
I peel the shrimp before adding them to the pot.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
He told me he likes the shrimp peeled. He likes
the shrimp.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Peeled because Carol used to leave the shell on. I
don't need to know what Carol did with her shrimp.
It's annoying and hurtful, especially when he does it in
front of others. Some of his friends from his previous
marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable for
them if my husband mentions his ex wife in our conversation.
(01:53):
I get that he spent twenty years with a woman,
so he got used to how she did things, but
he and I need to get settled into our own
ways of doing things. He overheard me talking to my
son and I told him he's a spitting image of
his daddy. My husband later told me that it sounds
like I miss my ex husband. Why can't he understand
that's how I feel when he talks about his ex.
(02:15):
How can I get him to stop bringing up his
ex wife to me and others. Well, if I were petty,
you know, if I were like a petty and vindictive person,
I would just tell you to mention your ex every
time he mentioned Carol, his ex every time, and maybe
even in the bedroom, although I really wouldn't advise that one.
(02:38):
But I mean, you know, depends on how petty you
want to get here. Okay, gets patty, Petty, Betty, Petty, betty.
You know you can make a context out of it
to see who could mention them the most. Okay, But
I'm not petty betty, So I say explain it to
him in a rational, calm way. You could start with
(02:58):
something like, you know, remember when you overheard me talking
to my son, to our son about how much he
looks like his dad. Well, you told me, you know,
you said it sounded like I missed my ex. That's
what you said. But that wasn't the case, you know.
But guess what, I understand what you meant by that completely,
(03:21):
because every time you mentioned Carol, your ex, I feel
like you're comparing me to her, and I think you
do that a lot. You were with her for twenty years,
I get that, so you became accustomed to the way
she did things so much so that it seems like
you can't help mentioning it every chance you get, especially
when we're around our friends. At least I said that
(03:41):
to my son, our son in private, when it was
just the two of us and no one else. I'm
bringing all this up because I don't think you realize
how much you mentioned.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your
husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's
what it is, that you just don't really get or
realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you
miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.
So I'm you know. I'm saying all this to say, please,
let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say
(04:15):
to each other and how we say things, how we speak.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
To each other. Please, we've been married for four years.
We want this to last a long time till.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Death, so it's not to cause anymore hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
We both have moved on. Remember, that's why we're together.
That's how we got together in the first place. Because
we've moved on, Let's leave the past in the past.
We have to do that, say something like that, Like
I said, in irrational calm manner, don't go tit for
tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But I wouldn't do that. But just remind him.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Maybe he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you've
got to remind him. But if you need to get
Patty Girl gone and get Patty steeve.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
See, well, little disagreement with you, Shelly Ah, This letter
don't call for all that.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Beautiful response, well thought out, everything like that. Here's the
problem high school sweethearts. He was married for twenty years,
had three kids, he was married for thirteen, had two
y'all got back together, picked right back where we left off.
We got lots in commons. We share a lot of
old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having with
(05:32):
this marriage here is what the letter is about. Is
when my husband mentioned how his ex wife did things
and he compares me to her, I have one question
for him, why is she your ex? The fact that
he keeps mentioning her. We've got to dig into why
(05:58):
she is the ex because if you miss her and
you keep mentioning her, and you keeps comparing you to her.
Maybe he didn't won out, he just ended up out.
Maybe he's not mentioning her because he's just habit. Maybe
(06:20):
it's a longing. I don't know, but I have a
couple of ideas for you when we come back, because
this is crazy. Just keep mentioning her name. What's wrong
with you?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Carol?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Carol?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Part two of Steve's.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Told me like the shrimp peel Carol used to lead
the shells on.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour, subject he loves to
mention his ex wife. We'll get back into it right
after this.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letters.
Subject he loves to mention his ex wife.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
This man keep bringing up his ex wife to his
carried wife. Your husband mentioned how his ex wife did stuff,
and he compassed me to her. Now he makes sure
he gives you credit though, for being better than his ex.
But I need him to stop mentioning it. He all
together here was a good example. We having a crab
(07:24):
bare crab boil, excuse me having a crab boil. I
peeled the shrimp before adding them to the pot. He
told me he likes to shrimp peel because Carol used
to leave a shell on. I don't need to know
what Carol did. Okay, see, well here is just Sureley say,
(07:48):
get petty. I disagree with it, but he is a
free wom if you have to. He told me he
liked the shrimp pill because Carol used to leave it
on the shell. Then your response should be always liked
him off the shell. And that's why I figured you
would too.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's petty sometimes, all right, Well, let me try it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It's annoying it her for especially when he do it
in front of others. Some of his friends from the
previous marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable
for them. If my husband mentioned that his ex wife
and our conversation, it's uncomfortable for them. If he mentions
his ex wife and our conversation, Shirley said, mention yours too. Okay,
(08:35):
Shirley says something that the man would say about a
woman in a conversation with a group of friends, and
I'll give you her response.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh that's how you were in your hair. Oh I
like to better.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
When Carol, Carol, when she wore a hair, she used
to have the bangs kind of swooped to the side.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Well, I wasn't my hair like call mama.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
That's I'll go too. That's how I just started right there,
got to be Patty.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Try another one. Oh you got on those shoes.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Oh Carol used to wear red bottoms.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms, but
you don't wear they don't come in your size. I
don't know who I insulted on that.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
What you say.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
You got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I just
try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who arem I? Shirley?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
You're the husband who always compares his wife to wife.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Now you're doing the husband, and I'm showing her how
to come back. Okay, so you okay, now.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Go okay, yeah, so I'll just do the same one.
Those aren't red bottoms. Carol always wore red bottoms, my
ex Carol.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, well Carol must have had more money because you're broke.
Ass I'm down here pay less.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You're supposed to bring in her ex husband? Okay, all right,
what are these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked them.
I could always tell the difference.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Hall, It never made hell no difference what I did
because I was naked cooking both of them.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Okay, now you get your legs, ye.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Come on now I'm ready, Okay, all right, all.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Right, let's let's go see You want to go see
that a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,
shoot them up, stuff like that, murder mysteries, gangster stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, me and Harold liked porno. So we're gonna watch
a little punk ass movie. You don Carroll, you watch me?
And Hale was in here doing table top.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Wow, have you gained a little weight?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Carol has that same outfit and she it fit her
really nicely.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
You know, I like the way it fit her butt.
It's kind of I.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses on top
of my butt, so I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I don't even know. Yeah, so I don't even know
if mine was fitting it. Now, you know, Hall so crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Oh that's what kind of car you have, because you
know Harold, you know he had a g wagon.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Carol, I mean, Carol had a wagon, thank you, cal.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Hal Hal had a herse.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Don't you forget it?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Shot. He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.
I just crawled up in the back and he drive
me to work.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
So oh so we're going on vacation, honey after COVID okay,
oh uncommercial. Oh we always went on private, but okay,
we must go commercial.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
She knew pilots and everything. Oh Carol did well.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Damn, Maybe I should have made Carol all right?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Thank you? Yeah you did post your comments on Today's
Strubbery about it.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, you gotta get Paddy with this when you do.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and please check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and we
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Buckle up and hold on tag and what we have here,
it's Strawberry Lenin.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
You're stupid, Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Subjects he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but we have
only been married for four years. After high school, we
went our separate ways and he was married for twenty
years and had three kids with his wife. I was
married for thirteen years and I got a divorce and
(00:51):
was raising my two children alone. When I reconnected with
my high school sweetheart, we blended our families and picked
right back up where we left off in high school.
We have lots in common and we share a lot
of old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having
in the marriage is when my husband mentions how his
ex wife did things and he compares me to her.
(01:15):
He makes sure he always gives me credit as being
better than his ex. But I need him to stop
mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab boil and
I peel the shrimp before adding them to the pot.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
He told me he likes the shrimp peeled. He likes
the shrimp.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Peeled because Carol used to leave the shell on. I
don't need to know what Carol did with her shrimp.
It's annoying and hurtful, especially when he does it in
front of others. Some of his friends from his previous
marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable for
them if my husband mentions his ex wife in our conversation.
(01:53):
I get that he spent twenty years with a woman,
so he got used to how she did things, but
he and I need to get settled into our own
ways of doing things. He overheard me talking to my
son and I told him he's a spitting image of
his daddy. My husband later told me that it sounds
like I miss my ex husband. Why can't he understand
that's how I feel when he talks about his ex.
(02:15):
How can I get him to stop bringing up his
ex wife to me and others. Well, if I were petty,
you know, if I were like a petty and vindictive person,
I would just tell you to mention your ex every
time he mentioned Carol, his ex every time, and maybe
even in the bedroom, although I really wouldn't advise that one.
(02:38):
But I mean, you know, depends on how petty you
want to get here. Okay, gets patty, Petty, Betty, Petty, betty.
You know you can make a context out of it
to see who could mention them the most. Okay, But
I'm not petty betty, So I say explain it to
him in a rational, calm way. You could start with
(02:58):
something like, you know, remember when you overheard me talking
to my son, to our son about how much he
looks like his dad. Well, you told me, you know,
you said it sounded like I missed my ex. That's
what you said. But that wasn't the case, you know.
But guess what, I understand what you meant by that completely,
(03:21):
because every time you mentioned Carol, your ex, I feel
like you're comparing me to her, and I think you
do that a lot. You were with her for twenty years,
I get that, so you became accustomed to the way
she did things so much so that it seems like
you can't help mentioning it every chance you get, especially
when we're around our friends. At least I said that
(03:41):
to my son, our son in private, when it was
just the two of us and no one else. I'm
bringing all this up because I don't think you realize
how much you mentioned.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your
husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's
what it is, that you just don't really get or
realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you
miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.
So I'm you know. I'm saying all this to say, please,
let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say
(04:15):
to each other and how we say things, how we speak.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
To each other. Please, we've been married for four years.
We want this to last a long time till.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Death, so it's not to cause anymore hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
We both have moved on. Remember, that's why we're together.
That's how we got together in the first place. Because
we've moved on, Let's leave the past in the past.
We have to do that, say something like that, Like
I said, in irrational calm manner, don't go tit for
tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But I wouldn't do that. But just remind him.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Maybe he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you've
got to remind him. But if you need to get
Patty Girl gone and get Patty steeve.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
See, well, little disagreement with you, Shelly Ah, This letter
don't call for all that.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Beautiful response, well thought out, everything like that. Here's the
problem high school sweethearts. He was married for twenty years,
had three kids, he was married for thirteen, had two
y'all got back together, picked right back where we left off.
We got lots in commons. We share a lot of
old friends and memories. The only problem I'm having with
(05:32):
this marriage here is what the letter is about. Is
when my husband mentioned how his ex wife did things
and he compares me to her, I have one question
for him, why is she your ex? The fact that
he keeps mentioning her. We've got to dig into why
(05:58):
she is the ex because if you miss her and
you keep mentioning her, and you keeps comparing you to her.
Maybe he didn't won out, he just ended up out.
Maybe he's not mentioning her because he's just habit. Maybe
(06:20):
it's a longing. I don't know, but I have a
couple of ideas for you when we come back, because
this is crazy. Just keep mentioning her name. What's wrong
with you?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Carol?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Carol?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Part two of Steve's.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Told me like the shrimp peel Carol used to lead
the shells on.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour, subject he loves to
mention his ex wife. We'll get back into it right
after this.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letters.
Subject he loves to mention his ex wife.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
This man keep bringing up his ex wife to his
carried wife. Your husband mentioned how his ex wife did stuff,
and he compassed me to her. Now he makes sure
he gives you credit though, for being better than his ex.
But I need him to stop mentioning it. He all
together here was a good example. We having a crab
(07:24):
bare crab boil, excuse me having a crab boil. I
peeled the shrimp before adding them to the pot. He
told me he likes to shrimp peel because Carol used
to leave a shell on. I don't need to know
what Carol did. Okay, see, well here is just Sureley say,
(07:48):
get petty. I disagree with it, but he is a
free wom if you have to. He told me he
liked the shrimp pill because Carol used to leave it
on the shell. Then your response should be always liked
him off the shell. And that's why I figured you
would too.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's petty sometimes, all right, Well, let me try it.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It's annoying it her for especially when he do it
in front of others. Some of his friends from the
previous marriage are now my friends too, and it's uncomfortable
for them. If my husband mentioned that his ex wife
and our conversation, it's uncomfortable for them. If he mentions
his ex wife and our conversation, Shirley said, mention yours too. Okay,
(08:35):
Shirley says something that the man would say about a
woman in a conversation with a group of friends, and
I'll give you her response.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh that's how you were in your hair. Oh I
like to better.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
When Carol, Carol, when she wore a hair, she used
to have the bangs kind of swooped to the side.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Well, I wasn't my hair like call mama.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
That's I'll go too. That's how I just started right there,
got to be Patty.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Try another one. Oh you got on those shoes.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Oh Carol used to wear red bottoms.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms, but
you don't wear they don't come in your size. I
don't know who I insulted on that.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
What you say.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
You got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I just
try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who arem I? Shirley?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
You're the husband who always compares his wife to wife.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Now you're doing the husband, and I'm showing her how
to come back. Okay, so you okay, now.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Go okay, yeah, so I'll just do the same one.
Those aren't red bottoms. Carol always wore red bottoms, my
ex Carol.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, well Carol must have had more money because you're broke.
Ass I'm down here pay less.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You're supposed to bring in her ex husband? Okay, all right,
what are these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked them.
I could always tell the difference.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Hall, It never made hell no difference what I did
because I was naked cooking both of them.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Okay, now you get your legs, ye.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Come on now I'm ready, Okay, all right, all.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Right, let's let's go see You want to go see
that a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,
shoot them up, stuff like that, murder mysteries, gangster stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, me and Harold liked porno. So we're gonna watch
a little punk ass movie. You don Carroll, you watch me?
And Hale was in here doing table top.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Wow, have you gained a little weight?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Carol has that same outfit and she it fit her
really nicely.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
You know, I like the way it fit her butt.
It's kind of I.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses on top
of my butt, so I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I don't even know. Yeah, so I don't even know
if mine was fitting it. Now, you know, Hall so crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Oh that's what kind of car you have, because you
know Harold, you know he had a g wagon.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Carol, I mean, Carol had a wagon, thank you, cal.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Hal Hal had a herse.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Don't you forget it?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Shot. He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.
I just crawled up in the back and he drive
me to work.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
So oh so we're going on vacation, honey after COVID okay,
oh uncommercial. Oh we always went on private, but okay,
we must go commercial.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
She knew pilots and everything. Oh Carol did well.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Damn, Maybe I should have made Carol all right?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Thank you? Yeah you did post your comments on Today's
Strubbery about it.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah, you gotta get Paddy with this when you do.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and please check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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