July 10, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I have been sad for a while now and I’m seeking advice on how to move past this situation. I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a married man that was loving and attentive and treated me like a priority at all times. We live about an hour away from each other and he would make a point to see me weekly and take me on business trips with him and weekend outings whenever he could................
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
that one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Let's buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for
you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you. Nephew's subject I wasn't able to tell her
husband goodbye. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have been sad for
a while now, and I'm seeking advice on how to
move past this situation. I have been in a relationship
for six years with a married man that was loving
and attentive and treated me like a priority at all times.
(00:47):
We live about an hour away from each other, and
he would make a point to see me weekly and
take me on business trips with him and weekend outings
whenever he could. He always told me that he was
in a marriage of convenience and was waiting till his
children grew up to leave his wife. I overlooked the
fact that his youngest child is twenty and he was
still married because I loved him and the relationship worked well.
(01:11):
Tragedy struck recently and he was diagnosed with the terminal illness.
I kept in touch with him through his coworker while
he was in the hospital. While he was recovering at home,
I snuck over to his home to visit while his
wife was out. He let me in, and that's when
I realized that he never planned to leave his wife.
His wife came home as I pulled away from the house.
(01:33):
He called me and said he told his wife that
I was an old friend that was just checking on him.
He said she believed it well. He died a few
days later and I got a strange phone call. His
wife had called me to let me know he died,
and she told me that she's known about me for years.
She told me that I was not welcome at his
(01:55):
funeral and that I should not cause her any embarrassment.
I felt bad for having an affair, for having the
affair all of those years, but I wanted to say
goodbye to my man. I showed up at the graveside
service and his coworker asked me to leave. I just
wanted to say goodbye. What's wrong with that what's wrong
(02:16):
with that? What's wrong with that? You ask everything, everything
you can think of, and it's all laid out here
in the letter, starting with the fact that you were
cheating with not your man. This man was someone else's. Okay,
he had a wife for the past six years. You
(02:38):
don't get any special treatment or anything. No one is
going to be on your side, no one, Okay, sorry,
but that's just how life is. He's not here to
protect you now to lie to his wife and say
you were just a friend stopping by to check on
him or anything like that. You were in this woman's home.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So now the wife is in charge and she's not
having any of it. If she told you out of
her mouth that she's known about you for years and
she doesn't want you there, well that's called payback. Okay,
that's called revenge. Finally she's gotten it. It's called the
queen has spoken and you are out.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You should have respected her wishes and not crashed the
burial service.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I think you're being very selfish in this situation, and
I'll say it again, disrespectful. This is not about you.
What about that? Don't you get leave this man's family alone. Now, Okay,
what you guys had for six years is over. You
gotta let it go. Don't bring any more pain and
misery to this family, to this woman, to the white
(03:46):
Let it go. He's gone. You need to move on, Okay.
Ask God to forgive you he will. And just try
to make sure the next time you date someone that
he's not married, he's single.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Okay, Steve, I don't know what are we talking about this?
What's wrong with you? Lady? For real? What? What? What? What?
What you're trying to work through?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I wasn't able to tell her husband goodbye right there?
You know why because it was her husband. That's why
you wasn't able to You were having a relationship with
(04:30):
this married man for six years that was loving and
attentive and treated me like a priority at all time.
Keyword treated you like a priority. That don't mean you
was a priority. He just when he could make you
(04:51):
seem like a priority, he did that, But you were
never the priority.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Y'all live our way from each other.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
He made it a point to see you weekly, took
your beers and trips with him, weekend outings whenever he
could always told me that he was in the marriage
of convenience and was waiting until his children grew up
to leave his wife. That is a stock old line.
(05:22):
Every dude that's ever done that has used that, I'm
in a marriage of convenience. I'm just going through the
motions when the kids leave. The damn baby twenty and
he's still married because I loved him and the relationship
work well. Tragedy Struck recently said, I ain't feeling nothing news.
(05:46):
You know, people die all the time. So Tragedy Struck
recently he was diagnosed with terminal illness. I kept in
touch with him through his coworker. Now this cowork is
critical because it's gonna come back in the letter. Co
worker is a partner his This a doon that know
his boys' skeletons.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Why he was recovering at home.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
I snuck over to his home to visit while his
wife was our Your ass could have got shot, Yes hit.
This woman in here trying to nurse this man back
to help. Ain't no telling what she got to do.
Because he terminally ill. You and here coming in to visit.
Why he cleaned up and wasn't then that for the Washington.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
We're gonna stop right there on washing.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, No, we have part two.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Of seem three response coming up at twenty three minutes
after the our Today's Strawberry Letters, subject I wasn't able
to tell her husband goodbye? All right, we'll be right
back right after this. You're listening hard morning show. All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject I
wasn't able to tell her husband goodbye because.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It was her husband.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He treated you like a priority at all time, treated.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You like a priority. That's what you have to do
to the number two. You have to treat them.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like a priority because they ain't the priority.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Y'all don't understand the game.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Take your on be it's a trip with his weekend
out each whenever he could.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Well, how often was that?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Then he told you he was in the marriage that convenience,
waiting on his children to grow Upore he leave his
wife the boy twenty classic line, I'm in a marriage
that come here. I'm just going through the us because
you loved him and the relationship work, Well, here we go.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Tragedy.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Recently, Druck he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I
stayed in touch with it though, you know, because I
want she want us to feel sad. When she into
tragedy struck diagnosed with it terminal illness, I heard. I
kept in touch with him through his coworker. Now co
worker is a boy his that know where his bones
(08:07):
is buried. So he then told his boy this my
girl man man her, Yeah, I got your dog. He
was while he was in the hospital. While he was
recovering at home, I snuck over to his house to
visit while his wife was out. WHOA, you could have
got shot and then we wouldn't even hear nothing about
this letter. But you survived to type us this damn letter.
(08:33):
He let me in. He let you in. Of course
he lets you in cause you don't.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Know what she been going through with him. He was
able to he term me to live.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
She'd have propped his ass up and washed him, gave
him a nice little shower, cleaned him up, and now
so he can barely get his sick ass to the
door to let you in. He should have fell out
on the porch on top of your ass. Get up,
I can't get you off me in. Then she'd have
rolled up and shocked both of y'all. You know, what
(09:06):
the hell this is now? I ain't got to feel
sorry for nobody in this letter. I don't know this man,
this woman that went over.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
This woman's house? Is you crazy?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He should have opened the door and fell on your heads.
But at least he was clean because she been washing
on him all day. You'd have got over. His wife
came home as I pulled out the house. Oh, ain't
you lucky? He called me and said he told his
wife he was an old friend that was just checking
on him, because that's what he thought of you as,
(09:37):
because you was just an old friend. That's all he's
told his wife that, he said. She said, he said,
she believed it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Well.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
He died a few days later, and I got a
strange phone call. His wife called me to let me
know he died, and she told me that she's known
about me for years.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
She told me I was not welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
At his funeral and I should not cause her any embarrassment.
At least she was decent to you about it. Hey, listen,
I know about you, but don't come up in here
and cause me no embarrassment. Right, Let me bury my husband,
Let me grieve with this family that's gonna miss this man.
But don't come up in here making no scene at
(10:22):
this funeral. You gonna get your ass whooped. See you
left that part out.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I'm gonna stomp you. Now you have been by my house.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I ain't saying nothing to you, but you come up
to this fudderal You're gonna be in that box with
his ass.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You hear me, You hear.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Me, she said, Steve, do you hear me?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
You hear me? Helpa, come up in here.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
So now I felt bad for having an affair all
those years?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Dog? Did you now? But I wanted to say goodbye
to my man. He ain't your man. This her husband.
Stop and what you want to say goodbye for? He
can't hear you.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
This is not about you.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Say bye.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Here in the spiritual world, say bye, yeah, in your car,
have a seance. And then I felt bad for having
an a fair but I want to say goodbye. I
showed up at the graveside service and his co worker
(11:29):
asked me to leave. You know who that was? I
told you about the boy up at the top of
the letter. That was him.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
He saw her.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
He went over there and said, hey, hey, listen, don't
know nothing about you. You back here, You're crying too loud.
You're crying too loud.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Lower your voice.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
What is you all in here? Laying all over on
the car for? Put your ass back in the car.
Take this black dress off. You ain't you ain't even
supposed to be here, He told her, listen, listen, baby,
because he he the one kept her up to speed
while he was in the hospital. Now he see you
at the gravesite, coming up here, crying extra hard with
(12:14):
damn fuddle, damn near over.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Hey, hey hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, you're.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Crying too damn hell, stop all that sniffing. Come on now,
put yourself together. You know what this is? You the
side peace, Come talk about I want to I just
want to say goodbye?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
What's so wrong with that? Because you the side piece?
You the other one?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You in second, not first. That's why you can't come
say goodbye. You couldn't go over there to say hi.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It's not about you. You can't go to say bye.
It's over. Okay, you're done going over there.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
By that hole that they go over there, be up
under that cast. If we would have told you don't
come down here and bask me, you get your ass
by that hole.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I'm telling you that right now.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
that one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Let's buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for
you here. It is a Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you. Nephew's subject I wasn't able to tell her
husband goodbye. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have been sad for
a while now, and I'm seeking advice on how to
move past this situation. I have been in a relationship
for six years with a married man that was loving
and attentive and treated me like a priority at all times.
(00:47):
We live about an hour away from each other, and
he would make a point to see me weekly and
take me on business trips with him and weekend outings
whenever he could. He always told me that he was
in a marriage of convenience and was waiting till his
children grew up to leave his wife. I overlooked the
fact that his youngest child is twenty and he was
still married because I loved him and the relationship worked well.
(01:11):
Tragedy struck recently and he was diagnosed with the terminal illness.
I kept in touch with him through his coworker while
he was in the hospital. While he was recovering at home,
I snuck over to his home to visit while his
wife was out. He let me in, and that's when
I realized that he never planned to leave his wife.
His wife came home as I pulled away from the house.
(01:33):
He called me and said he told his wife that
I was an old friend that was just checking on him.
He said she believed it well. He died a few
days later and I got a strange phone call. His
wife had called me to let me know he died,
and she told me that she's known about me for years.
She told me that I was not welcome at his
(01:55):
funeral and that I should not cause her any embarrassment.
I felt bad for having an affair, for having the
affair all of those years, but I wanted to say
goodbye to my man. I showed up at the graveside
service and his coworker asked me to leave. I just
wanted to say goodbye. What's wrong with that what's wrong
(02:16):
with that? What's wrong with that? You ask everything, everything
you can think of, and it's all laid out here
in the letter, starting with the fact that you were
cheating with not your man. This man was someone else's. Okay,
he had a wife for the past six years. You
(02:38):
don't get any special treatment or anything. No one is
going to be on your side, no one, Okay, sorry,
but that's just how life is. He's not here to
protect you now to lie to his wife and say
you were just a friend stopping by to check on
him or anything like that. You were in this woman's home.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So now the wife is in charge and she's not
having any of it. If she told you out of
her mouth that she's known about you for years and
she doesn't want you there, well that's called payback. Okay,
that's called revenge. Finally she's gotten it. It's called the
queen has spoken and you are out.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You should have respected her wishes and not crashed the
burial service.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I think you're being very selfish in this situation, and
I'll say it again, disrespectful. This is not about you.
What about that? Don't you get leave this man's family alone. Now, Okay,
what you guys had for six years is over. You
gotta let it go. Don't bring any more pain and
misery to this family, to this woman, to the white
(03:46):
Let it go. He's gone. You need to move on, Okay.
Ask God to forgive you he will. And just try
to make sure the next time you date someone that
he's not married, he's single.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Okay, Steve, I don't know what are we talking about this?
What's wrong with you? Lady? For real? What? What? What? What?
What you're trying to work through?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I wasn't able to tell her husband goodbye right there?
You know why because it was her husband. That's why
you wasn't able to You were having a relationship with
(04:30):
this married man for six years that was loving and
attentive and treated me like a priority at all time.
Keyword treated you like a priority. That don't mean you
was a priority. He just when he could make you
(04:51):
seem like a priority, he did that, But you were
never the priority.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Y'all live our way from each other.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
He made it a point to see you weekly, took
your beers and trips with him, weekend outings whenever he
could always told me that he was in the marriage
of convenience and was waiting until his children grew up
to leave his wife. That is a stock old line.
(05:22):
Every dude that's ever done that has used that, I'm
in a marriage of convenience. I'm just going through the
motions when the kids leave. The damn baby twenty and
he's still married because I loved him and the relationship
work well. Tragedy Struck recently said, I ain't feeling nothing news.
(05:46):
You know, people die all the time. So Tragedy Struck
recently he was diagnosed with terminal illness. I kept in
touch with him through his coworker. Now this cowork is
critical because it's gonna come back in the letter. Co
worker is a partner his This a doon that know
his boys' skeletons.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Why he was recovering at home.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
I snuck over to his home to visit while his
wife was our Your ass could have got shot, Yes hit.
This woman in here trying to nurse this man back
to help. Ain't no telling what she got to do.
Because he terminally ill. You and here coming in to visit.
Why he cleaned up and wasn't then that for the Washington.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
We're gonna stop right there on washing.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, No, we have part two.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Of seem three response coming up at twenty three minutes
after the our Today's Strawberry Letters, subject I wasn't able
to tell her husband goodbye? All right, we'll be right
back right after this. You're listening hard morning show. All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject I
wasn't able to tell her husband goodbye because.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It was her husband.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He treated you like a priority at all time, treated.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You like a priority. That's what you have to do
to the number two. You have to treat them.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Like a priority because they ain't the priority.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Y'all don't understand the game.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Take your on be it's a trip with his weekend
out each whenever he could.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Well, how often was that?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Then he told you he was in the marriage that convenience,
waiting on his children to grow Upore he leave his
wife the boy twenty classic line, I'm in a marriage
that come here. I'm just going through the us because
you loved him and the relationship work, Well, here we go.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Tragedy.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Recently, Druck he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I
stayed in touch with it though, you know, because I
want she want us to feel sad. When she into
tragedy struck diagnosed with it terminal illness, I heard. I
kept in touch with him through his coworker. Now co
worker is a boy his that know where his bones
(08:07):
is buried. So he then told his boy this my
girl man man her, Yeah, I got your dog. He
was while he was in the hospital. While he was
recovering at home, I snuck over to his house to
visit while his wife was out. WHOA, you could have
got shot and then we wouldn't even hear nothing about
this letter. But you survived to type us this damn letter.
(08:33):
He let me in. He let you in. Of course
he lets you in cause you don't.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Know what she been going through with him. He was
able to he term me to live.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
She'd have propped his ass up and washed him, gave
him a nice little shower, cleaned him up, and now
so he can barely get his sick ass to the
door to let you in. He should have fell out
on the porch on top of your ass. Get up,
I can't get you off me in. Then she'd have
rolled up and shocked both of y'all. You know, what
(09:06):
the hell this is now? I ain't got to feel
sorry for nobody in this letter. I don't know this man,
this woman that went over.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
This woman's house? Is you crazy?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He should have opened the door and fell on your heads.
But at least he was clean because she been washing
on him all day. You'd have got over. His wife
came home as I pulled out the house. Oh, ain't
you lucky? He called me and said he told his
wife he was an old friend that was just checking
on him, because that's what he thought of you as,
(09:37):
because you was just an old friend. That's all he's
told his wife that, he said. She said, he said,
she believed it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Well.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
He died a few days later, and I got a
strange phone call. His wife called me to let me
know he died, and she told me that she's known
about me for years.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
She told me I was not welcome.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
At his funeral and I should not cause her any embarrassment.
At least she was decent to you about it. Hey, listen,
I know about you, but don't come up in here
and cause me no embarrassment. Right, Let me bury my husband,
Let me grieve with this family that's gonna miss this man.
But don't come up in here making no scene at
(10:22):
this funeral. You gonna get your ass whooped. See you
left that part out.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I'm gonna stomp you. Now you have been by my house.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I ain't saying nothing to you, but you come up
to this fudderal You're gonna be in that box with
his ass.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You hear me, You hear.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Me, she said, Steve, do you hear me?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
You hear me? Helpa, come up in here.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
So now I felt bad for having an affair all
those years?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Dog? Did you now? But I wanted to say goodbye
to my man. He ain't your man. This her husband.
Stop and what you want to say goodbye for? He
can't hear you.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
This is not about you.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Say bye.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Here in the spiritual world, say bye, yeah, in your car,
have a seance. And then I felt bad for having
an a fair but I want to say goodbye. I
showed up at the graveside service and his co worker
(11:29):
asked me to leave. You know who that was? I
told you about the boy up at the top of
the letter. That was him.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
He saw her.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
He went over there and said, hey, hey, listen, don't
know nothing about you. You back here, You're crying too loud.
You're crying too loud.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Lower your voice.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
What is you all in here? Laying all over on
the car for? Put your ass back in the car.
Take this black dress off. You ain't you ain't even
supposed to be here, He told her, listen, listen, baby,
because he he the one kept her up to speed
while he was in the hospital. Now he see you
at the gravesite, coming up here, crying extra hard with
(12:14):
damn fuddle, damn near over.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Hey, hey hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, you're.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Crying too damn hell, stop all that sniffing. Come on now,
put yourself together. You know what this is? You the
side peace, Come talk about I want to I just
want to say goodbye?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
What's so wrong with that? Because you the side piece?
You the other one?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You in second, not first. That's why you can't come
say goodbye. You couldn't go over there to say hi.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It's not about you. You can't go to say bye.
It's over. Okay, you're done going over there.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
By that hole that they go over there, be up
under that cast. If we would have told you don't
come down here and bask me, you get your ass
by that hole.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I'm telling you that right now.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Popular Podcasts
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.