August 6, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a 51 year old married woman and I'm eight years older than my husband. He is successful and he loves the Lord. Those were the two main things I prayed for when I was dating. God gave me exactly what I asked for, but I also got lots of things I didn't ask for. My husband has a quick tongue and loves to talk back when I'm telling him how things should be. I know that he hasn't been exposed too much, so every chance I get, I get him out of his comfort zone. He wasn't used to different kinds of food, so I took him to eat different kinds of seafood and shellfish. I also exposed him to high end scotch and bourbons because he loves to drink...................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
by clicking Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now. And you never know,
this one right here could be yours. It could be yours.
(00:21):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is Strawberry LETTA. All right, nephew, thank you.
Please help me figure my man out. Is the subject.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty one year old married
woman and I'm eight years older than my husband. He
is successful and he loves the Lord. Those were the
two main things I prayed for when I was dating.
(00:43):
God gave me exactly what I asked for, but I
also got lots of things I didn't ask for. My
husband has a quick tongue and loves to talk back
when I'm telling him how things should be. I know
that he hasn't been exposed too much, so every chance
I get, I get him out of his comfort zone.
He wasn't used to different kinds of food, so I
took him to eat different kinds of seafood and shellfish.
(01:05):
I also exposed him to high end scotch and bourbons
because he loves to drink. He resents the fact that
I understand fancy language on restaurant menus, and he gets
mad when I order for us. He's told me that
I might as well be the man in the relationship,
and it really makes me sad for him. I'm only
trying to bring him up to speed so he can
(01:27):
get to my level and have a finer way of living.
I've asked him to take me to a Broadway play
for my birthday, and he told me to plan it
like I plan everything else, and he'll go. I took
offense to that because it's time for him to take
the lead. I cannot figure this man out. If I lead,
he gets upset. When I tell him what I want
him to do for me, he gets upset. We've been
(01:48):
married for going on two years and we still have
a way to go on him being cultured. If I
left it up to him, we'd eat dinner in front
of the TV every night and he'd never have a passport.
I took this man out of the country for the
first time, so I need a little more respect from him.
How can he be so resentful when I'm trying to
help him experience the good life. No, what you're doing
(02:12):
is trying to change this man. I mean, you're trying
to make him into who you want him to be.
He is who he is and you can't change that.
He doesn't like it when you're He doesn't like what
you're doing and he resents it. You said that he's resentful.
You married who you married. Just because you're older than
him doesn't mean you can treat him like that. You're
(02:33):
not his mother, you're his wife. You're telling him what
to do. You're telling him what to eat, what to drink,
you're ordering for him. You're emasculating this poor man, and
he's sick of it. Maybe he does want to experience
the good life, but not with you shoving it down
his throat and treating him like he's less than, like
he's subpar. Accept him for who he is first, Since
(02:55):
you married him like this, you knew what you were
getting when you married him. Then he'll want to change
because you don't make the good life as you call it,
sound good at all. You don't make it like you,
don't make it sound good. And if you keep this up,
you're gonna lose this man. Steve, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
The subject of your letter, excuse me. The subject of
your letter is please help me figure my man out. Now,
that's an easy one for me, because men are so simple,
so so simple. If the letter was help me figure
my woman out, we be in here all day because
(03:36):
good luck to the person that can do that. And
women know that, women know they are more complex than me,
and men are very very simple. The problem that you
need to fix is not your man. Who you need
to fix is yourself. The reason you having problems with
your man is because of the way you going about it.
(04:00):
I don't know what it is, man that you're not getting,
but let me try to help you. You fifty one
year old married woman, and you eight years older than
your husband. If you don't think that you're using that
to your advantage, you're sadly mistaken. It's the first thing
you mentioned in this letter. All you had to do
(04:21):
was say, I've been married. I'm married to my husband,
and he is successful and he loves the Lord. Now
those are the two main things you prayed for when
you was dating and God gave you exactly what you
asked for. You asked for a man who loved the
Lord and a man who was successful. Well, how did
(04:43):
he get to be successful? He's obviously done a number
of things correct because he found out that the key
to his success is faith, and he's put in the
work to become successful. So you got it, But you
also we got a lot of things you didn't ask for.
(05:03):
My husband has a quick tongue and he loves to
talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.
Excuse me, when you type that line right there, you
ain't read it. My husband got a quick tongue and
he loved to talk back when I'm telling him how
things should be. Really okay, you're telling this successful man
(05:28):
who you prayed for, who oh, by the way, loves
the Lord like you asked for. But let's just stay
with the successful part, which means he has known how
to do something right to get y'all in the position.
All this traveling you doing and fine restaurants and stuff. Hello, hello,
(05:49):
he has made this affordable. Now I'm not saying what
you do don't count. That ain't what I'm saying. So
before y'all said, she can have our own money. She don't.
She don't, she don't. She prayed for a successful man
that loves the Lord. She got him. So he's making
a huge contribution to all this traveling passport and all
this stuff. Okay, now he learned to talk back when
(06:13):
I'm telling him how things should be. Listen to yourself,
Shirley said, it best. You're nagging the man. Do you
know what nagging is, ladies? Nagging is actually tone and timing.
It's the way you say it and when you say it,
which turns it from talking into nagging. And once you nagging,
(06:37):
we threw with you. All right, I got a whole
lot more when we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve. Yeah, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today Strawberry Letters, subject please help me figure my man out.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,
Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, let's
recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject, please help me figure
my man.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The problem in this letter really is not your man.
The problem in this letter is you. So you can't
change your man. But you can change how you approach
your man, which is I think this is the problem. Now,
you said you're a fifty one year old married woman
to a man who's eight years younger than you. Okay,
you had to tell us that because you want us
to show. You want to demonstrate throughout the letter how
(07:22):
you're more knowledgeable than he is and how you have
an upper hand over him. That's what you wanted us
to do. Now, your man, you say, is successful and
he loves the Lord. You said, those are the two
main things that you prayed for, and that's exactly what
God gave you. And then you say you also got
a lot of stuff that you didn't ask for. Like
number one, your husband has a quick tongue. He loved
(07:43):
to talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.
I don't know if you read that, but do you
sound crazy? He loved to talk back when I'm telling
him how things should be. You ain't his mama, you're
his damn wife. Now you got this successful man, all
of a sudden, he can't do nothing right. You nagging
is man. Let me remind you all what nagging is.
(08:04):
Nagging is tone and timing. Ladies, It turns into nagging
when you change your tone and the timing that you use,
and ain't nobody trying to hear all that? Also, I
know that he hasn't been exposed to so much, so
every chance I get, I get him out of his
comfort zone. He wasn't used to different kinds of food,
(08:25):
so I took him to eat different kinds of seafood
and selfish seafood and shellfish. These are shrimp, This is crab.
That is a lobster. These are muscles. Lady, Okay, now
I'm assuming you got a country boy corn bread, hawks, greens, pinos,
(08:52):
chicken fry, steak, turkey dressing. But now you got him
all up here to eat all kinds of seafood and shellfish. Okay,
thank you. Also exposing the high end scotching bourbons because
he loves to drink, Well, you got a successful man,
the loved the lord that drink a lot. You don't
turn him on to high end scotching burbies. I showed
(09:14):
wish I knew the names of these, because that would
open up this letter for me. I don't know what
you've introduced him to and what he was drinking, but
I sure want to know what it was because I
bet I'd be on here hollering. He resents the fact
that I understand fancy language on restaurant menus lady, Now
(09:36):
we've all been to fancy restaurants, Italian restaurants, they'll have
an Italian name, but under it it will be in
English what it translates to. So you ain't just in
here reading five different languages. You ain't up the Chinese
restaurant just reading all this stuff in that you ask
him for number seven, just like the rest of us
(10:00):
eat restaurant, reading all that writing and going backwards. You
ain't no, no, no, no, no. So I already know.
And he gets mad when I order for us. See,
now I'm gonna tell you something. You stay out front,
you're talking to him. You don't like his quick tongue
when he talking back to you, when you're telling him something.
(10:21):
You in here, you're telling him what to drink, and
now you're ordering in the restaurant. He get mad when
I order for us because you keep running out in front.
You know it might take him a little bit longer,
but maybe he didn't want that to eat. Now you
ought telling him what to say, telling him what to drink.
Now you're telling him what to eat. He don't want that.
He told me that I might as well be the
man in the relationship because that's how you act, and
(10:44):
it really makes me sad for him. I'm only trying
to bring him up to speed so he can get
to my level and have a finer way of living. Well,
if you was all that what you need the successful
man for, you do remember what you ask God for? Right?
So if you was all that, on that all that level,
but you know what you was, You was on that
(11:04):
level by your damn self, cause you done ran everybody
else off just like this. Then God finally send you
what you want and you're finna run this one off.
You're busy bossting, You're busy taking charge, you're busy running
out front. Now the man then told you you might
as well be the man in the relationship. I've asked
(11:26):
him to take me to a Broadway play for my birthday.
He told you, playing it like you're playing everything else,
and he'll go cause he already know what he gonna plan.
Ain't gonna be up to speed, So playing it and
I go. I took offense to that, or now you mad,
I'm telling him what to eat and drink. I can't
figure this man out. If I lead, he gets up,
(11:46):
Say why don't you quit leading? She gonna sit your
ass down Somewhere. You asked for a successful man, he
got it. Get your girl friends to go eat all
that crawl fishing at two fee and all that want
some damn popeyes. Man, Sometimes man, you don't for real. Man,
for real?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Dog.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
We been married going on two years and we still
have to uh, we still have a ways to go.
And getting him cultured. He ain't cultured. He country. If
I left it up to him, weed eat dinner in
front of the TV every night. I took this man out
the country for the first time, so he need to
be a little more respectful for me. How can he
be so disrespectful when I'm helping experience good life? He
(12:28):
already had a good life for he met you. He
was already successful and he knew the Lord. He should
have left your bullshyr ass where you was. He don't
want no more damn shellfish, and he don't want no
more moose, I lais he wants some greens.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Bo's your comments on today?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
With greens and macnis? Why'd you learn how to make
some mac of cheese. Sat that current taking me all
the way.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Downhill at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry letter.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
But no cameya. I want the fish and headaches.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
On the free i Heeart Radio app. Free never sounded
so good. Downloaded today. Coming up in forty six minutes
after the hour, it is Junior in the building with
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Dave
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
by clicking Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now. And you never know,
this one right here could be yours. It could be yours.
(00:21):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is Strawberry LETTA. All right, nephew, thank you.
Please help me figure my man out. Is the subject.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty one year old married
woman and I'm eight years older than my husband. He
is successful and he loves the Lord. Those were the
two main things I prayed for when I was dating.
(00:43):
God gave me exactly what I asked for, but I
also got lots of things I didn't ask for. My
husband has a quick tongue and loves to talk back
when I'm telling him how things should be. I know
that he hasn't been exposed too much, so every chance
I get, I get him out of his comfort zone.
He wasn't used to different kinds of food, so I
took him to eat different kinds of seafood and shellfish.
(01:05):
I also exposed him to high end scotch and bourbons
because he loves to drink. He resents the fact that
I understand fancy language on restaurant menus, and he gets
mad when I order for us. He's told me that
I might as well be the man in the relationship,
and it really makes me sad for him. I'm only
trying to bring him up to speed so he can
(01:27):
get to my level and have a finer way of living.
I've asked him to take me to a Broadway play
for my birthday, and he told me to plan it
like I plan everything else, and he'll go. I took
offense to that because it's time for him to take
the lead. I cannot figure this man out. If I lead,
he gets upset. When I tell him what I want
him to do for me, he gets upset. We've been
(01:48):
married for going on two years and we still have
a way to go on him being cultured. If I
left it up to him, we'd eat dinner in front
of the TV every night and he'd never have a passport.
I took this man out of the country for the
first time, so I need a little more respect from him.
How can he be so resentful when I'm trying to
help him experience the good life. No, what you're doing
(02:12):
is trying to change this man. I mean, you're trying
to make him into who you want him to be.
He is who he is and you can't change that.
He doesn't like it when you're He doesn't like what
you're doing and he resents it. You said that he's resentful.
You married who you married. Just because you're older than
him doesn't mean you can treat him like that. You're
(02:33):
not his mother, you're his wife. You're telling him what
to do. You're telling him what to eat, what to drink,
you're ordering for him. You're emasculating this poor man, and
he's sick of it. Maybe he does want to experience
the good life, but not with you shoving it down
his throat and treating him like he's less than, like
he's subpar. Accept him for who he is first, Since
(02:55):
you married him like this, you knew what you were
getting when you married him. Then he'll want to change
because you don't make the good life as you call it,
sound good at all. You don't make it like you,
don't make it sound good. And if you keep this up,
you're gonna lose this man. Steve, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
The subject of your letter, excuse me. The subject of
your letter is please help me figure my man out. Now,
that's an easy one for me, because men are so simple,
so so simple. If the letter was help me figure
my woman out, we be in here all day because
(03:36):
good luck to the person that can do that. And
women know that, women know they are more complex than me,
and men are very very simple. The problem that you
need to fix is not your man. Who you need
to fix is yourself. The reason you having problems with
your man is because of the way you going about it.
(04:00):
I don't know what it is, man that you're not getting,
but let me try to help you. You fifty one
year old married woman, and you eight years older than
your husband. If you don't think that you're using that
to your advantage, you're sadly mistaken. It's the first thing
you mentioned in this letter. All you had to do
(04:21):
was say, I've been married. I'm married to my husband,
and he is successful and he loves the Lord. Now
those are the two main things you prayed for when
you was dating and God gave you exactly what you
asked for. You asked for a man who loved the
Lord and a man who was successful. Well, how did
(04:43):
he get to be successful? He's obviously done a number
of things correct because he found out that the key
to his success is faith, and he's put in the
work to become successful. So you got it, But you
also we got a lot of things you didn't ask for.
(05:03):
My husband has a quick tongue and he loves to
talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.
Excuse me, when you type that line right there, you
ain't read it. My husband got a quick tongue and
he loved to talk back when I'm telling him how
things should be. Really okay, you're telling this successful man
(05:28):
who you prayed for, who oh, by the way, loves
the Lord like you asked for. But let's just stay
with the successful part, which means he has known how
to do something right to get y'all in the position.
All this traveling you doing and fine restaurants and stuff. Hello, hello,
(05:49):
he has made this affordable. Now I'm not saying what
you do don't count. That ain't what I'm saying. So
before y'all said, she can have our own money. She don't.
She don't, she don't. She prayed for a successful man
that loves the Lord. She got him. So he's making
a huge contribution to all this traveling passport and all
this stuff. Okay, now he learned to talk back when
(06:13):
I'm telling him how things should be. Listen to yourself,
Shirley said, it best. You're nagging the man. Do you
know what nagging is, ladies? Nagging is actually tone and timing.
It's the way you say it and when you say it,
which turns it from talking into nagging. And once you nagging,
(06:37):
we threw with you. All right, I got a whole
lot more when we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve. Yeah, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today Strawberry Letters, subject please help me figure my man out.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,
Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, let's
recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject, please help me figure
my man.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The problem in this letter really is not your man.
The problem in this letter is you. So you can't
change your man. But you can change how you approach
your man, which is I think this is the problem. Now,
you said you're a fifty one year old married woman
to a man who's eight years younger than you. Okay,
you had to tell us that because you want us
to show. You want to demonstrate throughout the letter how
(07:22):
you're more knowledgeable than he is and how you have
an upper hand over him. That's what you wanted us
to do. Now, your man, you say, is successful and
he loves the Lord. You said, those are the two
main things that you prayed for, and that's exactly what
God gave you. And then you say you also got
a lot of stuff that you didn't ask for. Like
number one, your husband has a quick tongue. He loved
(07:43):
to talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.
I don't know if you read that, but do you
sound crazy? He loved to talk back when I'm telling
him how things should be. You ain't his mama, you're
his damn wife. Now you got this successful man, all
of a sudden, he can't do nothing right. You nagging
is man. Let me remind you all what nagging is.
(08:04):
Nagging is tone and timing. Ladies, It turns into nagging
when you change your tone and the timing that you use,
and ain't nobody trying to hear all that? Also, I
know that he hasn't been exposed to so much, so
every chance I get, I get him out of his
comfort zone. He wasn't used to different kinds of food,
(08:25):
so I took him to eat different kinds of seafood
and selfish seafood and shellfish. These are shrimp, This is crab.
That is a lobster. These are muscles. Lady, Okay, now
I'm assuming you got a country boy corn bread, hawks, greens, pinos,
(08:52):
chicken fry, steak, turkey dressing. But now you got him
all up here to eat all kinds of seafood and shellfish. Okay,
thank you. Also exposing the high end scotching bourbons because
he loves to drink, Well, you got a successful man,
the loved the lord that drink a lot. You don't
turn him on to high end scotching burbies. I showed
(09:14):
wish I knew the names of these, because that would
open up this letter for me. I don't know what
you've introduced him to and what he was drinking, but
I sure want to know what it was because I
bet I'd be on here hollering. He resents the fact
that I understand fancy language on restaurant menus lady, Now
(09:36):
we've all been to fancy restaurants, Italian restaurants, they'll have
an Italian name, but under it it will be in
English what it translates to. So you ain't just in
here reading five different languages. You ain't up the Chinese
restaurant just reading all this stuff in that you ask
him for number seven, just like the rest of us
(10:00):
eat restaurant, reading all that writing and going backwards. You
ain't no, no, no, no, no. So I already know.
And he gets mad when I order for us. See,
now I'm gonna tell you something. You stay out front,
you're talking to him. You don't like his quick tongue
when he talking back to you, when you're telling him something.
(10:21):
You in here, you're telling him what to drink, and
now you're ordering in the restaurant. He get mad when
I order for us because you keep running out in front.
You know it might take him a little bit longer,
but maybe he didn't want that to eat. Now you
ought telling him what to say, telling him what to drink.
Now you're telling him what to eat. He don't want that.
He told me that I might as well be the
man in the relationship because that's how you act, and
(10:44):
it really makes me sad for him. I'm only trying
to bring him up to speed so he can get
to my level and have a finer way of living. Well,
if you was all that what you need the successful
man for, you do remember what you ask God for? Right?
So if you was all that, on that all that level,
but you know what you was, You was on that
(11:04):
level by your damn self, cause you done ran everybody
else off just like this. Then God finally send you
what you want and you're finna run this one off.
You're busy bossting, You're busy taking charge, you're busy running
out front. Now the man then told you you might
as well be the man in the relationship. I've asked
(11:26):
him to take me to a Broadway play for my birthday.
He told you, playing it like you're playing everything else,
and he'll go cause he already know what he gonna plan.
Ain't gonna be up to speed, So playing it and
I go. I took offense to that, or now you mad,
I'm telling him what to eat and drink. I can't
figure this man out. If I lead, he gets up,
(11:46):
Say why don't you quit leading? She gonna sit your
ass down Somewhere. You asked for a successful man, he
got it. Get your girl friends to go eat all
that crawl fishing at two fee and all that want
some damn popeyes. Man, Sometimes man, you don't for real. Man,
for real?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Dog.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
We been married going on two years and we still
have to uh, we still have a ways to go.
And getting him cultured. He ain't cultured. He country. If
I left it up to him, weed eat dinner in
front of the TV every night. I took this man out
the country for the first time, so he need to
be a little more respectful for me. How can he
be so disrespectful when I'm helping experience good life? He
(12:28):
already had a good life for he met you. He
was already successful and he knew the Lord. He should
have left your bullshyr ass where you was. He don't
want no more damn shellfish, and he don't want no
more moose, I lais he wants some greens.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Bo's your comments on today?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
With greens and macnis? Why'd you learn how to make
some mac of cheese. Sat that current taking me all
the way.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Downhill at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry letter.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
But no cameya. I want the fish and headaches.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
On the free i Heeart Radio app. Free never sounded
so good. Downloaded today. Coming up in forty six minutes
after the hour, it is Junior in the building with
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Dave
Harvey Morning Show
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