August 7, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I am dating a man that has a lot of female friends. I don't like it, but they seem harmless, so I've learned to go with the flow. He is on a bowling team with two of his closest friends from his childhood. They're girly girls, and it bothers me because I don't do all of the weed, makeup, lashes and stilettos like them. I feel self-conscious around them. To be totally honest, he assured me that he isn't into all of that either, and he loves how I dress and how I carry myself. He told my stepdad that he wants to marry me. So I have been on pins and needles, thinking he's going to pop the question at any minute. He booked a weekend trip to the nearby beach, and he said he just wanted to get away..................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours. It could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.
Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, thank you, nephew. Subject why was she at
the same hotel? Dear Stephen Shirley. I am dating a
man that has a lot of female friends. I don't
like it, but they seem harmless, so I've learned to
go with the flow. He is on a bowling team
with two of his closest friends from his childhood. They're
girly girls, and it bothers me because I don't do
(00:47):
all of the weed, makeup, lashes and stilettos like them.
I feel self conscious around them. To be totally honest,
he assured me that he isn't into all of that either,
and he loves how I dress and how I carry myself.
He told my stepdad that he wants to marry me.
So I have been on pins and needles, thinking he's
going to pop the question at any minute. He booked
(01:10):
a weekend trip to the nearby beach, and he said
he just wanted to get away. We got a suite
on the beach side, and when I walked in, I
got excited because I just knew he was setting the
mood to ask me to marry him. That night, he
said we were going to dinner and he had a
few people joining us to make the night special. It
(01:30):
was his two best girlfriends. I thought it would be
my stepdad, my brother, and my best friend because I
was getting a ring that night, but it was just
the four of us sitting there. To make matters worse,
one of the ladies asked to ride to the hotel
with us. She said, my man got her a discounted
rate so she could come kick it with us for
the weekend. Why is she at our same hotel? When
(01:54):
I asked him that, he got cross with me, like
I'm the problem. I was furious the entire weekend and
started to drive the hour back home. In the middle
of the night, he told me that he's getting tired
of my insecurities. I am supposed to be cool with
his girlfriends and not worry about him crossing the line
with them. Nope, you don't have to be cool with
(02:17):
them if you're not cool with them. And you are
clearly not cool with these women, and that's okay, it's
quite all right. It's not even about you being insecure
like a man accused you of. It's about him not
hearing you having these female friends and not considering your
feelings concerning these girls. It's a free country and all,
(02:37):
But I agree with you. Why are they there when
it's supposed to be a weekend getaway for the two
of you. Are you sure this is the man you
want to marry. You're looking for a ring from this
guy because his girly girlfriends obviously aren't going anywhere. He'll
probably want them in the wedding, you know that, right.
You got to tell him exactly how you feel about
(02:58):
these ladies always being around. Tell him you don't like it.
He's not gonna like it when you tell him that,
and you may lose him. But this is about you,
and you're never going to be comfortable or happy in
your relationship, and you will never trust or be sure
that he won't cross the line with these girls. That's
always gonna be at the top of your mind. So you,
my dear, are not the priority in this relationship, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Well, well, well, here we go again. How many times
I got to say this? Damn the subject of this
letter being why she at the same hotel. Damn that,
here's the letter right here. I am dating a man
that has a lot of female friends.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I said.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Right now, I'm told y'all how many times I got
to tell y'all. I ain't gonna keep telling y'all, Uncle Steve,
that's old fashioned, Uncle Steve. That ain't hard work no more,
Uncle Steve. You can have friends and not have sex
with him. Uncle Steve, Yeah, you might can have friends
and not have sex with him, But don't mean y'all
want too.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
You might cross that line.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Damn it.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm tired of talking to you about this. You're just stupid.
We are men, ain't finna change. We love optics, We
are observational, and we are attracted to aesthetics.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
We are men.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Don't you let no man tell you that aesthetics don't
matter what's wrong with you? We are not that complicated
of a creature. Aesthetics is everything I'm dating. A man
got a lot of female friends. You know why he
got a lot of female friends because of the aesthetics.
(04:45):
How it looks, how he feel when he around them.
That's why you have a lot of female friends. Sick
of sayings to y'all. Now, Uncle Steve, you old fashioned,
call whatever you want to call it, this real. I
don't like it, but they seem harmless, so I've learned.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
To go with the float. Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So now what you've done is you found this out
in the beginning and you just got okay with it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That's gonna come back to bite you.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
He's on the bowling team with two of his closest
friends from his childhood that listen to this line right here.
They're girly girls, and it bothers me because I don't
do all the weave makeup, lashes and stilettos like them.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Okay, what you doing?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Then? Let me ask you that you don't do we've
you don't do lashes, you don't do stilettos, you don't
do makeup.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Where you going? What's happening?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
They are girly girls, and it bothers me. Now they
girly girls, and you know they girly girls all uncle
Steve asking you if them is girly girl, what is you?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's all I'm a no, no, is you know, Shirley.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You have your letter, Just do your letter with all
their little bulls, your handswers you be got?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What is you?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Then? If Jesus girly girls, what is you? I'm just asked, Wow,
I'm just that you know, and I'm telling you right now?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Do he like makeup? Yup? Weave?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
He don't mind? Last is yes, instill left. I don't
know a man living don't like the letters. I don't
know who. I do not know a man that don't
like red botm shoes. I just thought I ain't many.
I ain't never heard a man say I'd rather my
wom would have on flats. I ain't ever heard a
man say that.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Hang on, Steve, hang on, Okay, well hang on, We'll
have part two of your Strubbery of your Strawberry letter
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
of today's subjects Why was she at the same hotel?
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show all right, come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is why was she
(07:00):
at the same hotel?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well, the letter ain't really about it's why she at
the same hotel. The letter is I'm dating a man
that has a lot of female friends. That's what this
whole letter is about. Not have told you all about it.
She don't like it, but they seem harmless, so I've
seen to go with the flow. Well, let me tell
you about the harmless people that's on his bowling team.
Two of his closest friends from his childhood and two
of his girls.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They hear.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
The problem is they girly girls, and it bothers me
because I don't do all the weave, make up, last
stilettos like them. Okay, then what do you do. I
ain't gonna get into that no more. You obviously you
not a girly girl. I'm gonna tell you one more time.
Men are into aesthetics, period, Don't you think we not?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
They ain't been.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Friends with them girls all these years because they rough
and madly. Man, I showed like these girls right there
by you let them t shirts they be wearing, many
got them baseball hats. Home. They got they half faded.
You know, they should have been here. We can box sometime,
we go boxing together, you know, and they ain't doing that.
(08:05):
They girly girls, they got on stilettos, lashes, all that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
We like.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
All that.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Now to be totally honest, and you self conscious around them,
He assured me that he ain't to all that either.
He ain't into that. And he loves how I dress
and carry myself. Okay, that could be fair assessment. He
probably do, but I and he told my stepdad that
he want to marry me. So now you've been walking
around on peers and needles waiting on him to pop
(08:33):
the question. So you thought it was gonna happen because
he booked this weekend trip to the beach. He got
a suite on the beach. You walked in, you got
excited because you thought, oh man, this is it right here,
this is finally gonna be the one I'm finna get
popped the question. And then he said that we're gonna
have to at dinner, and he had a few people
joining us to make the night special.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Or you got really excited.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So then guess what you assumed you thought the special
people was gonna be your stepdad, your brother, and your girlfriend,
your best friend, because you was getting the ring that night.
But it was before, of y'all. It was him, you
and them two girls, them two girly girls sitting over
there with their stilettos on, and them damn eye lash
(09:20):
and said that makeup and they have longer than it's
supposed to be. Probably had bought a thirty bag up
in here, just all up in here, just all up
in his face, cleavagey'all out and everything. And then to
make matters worse, one of the ladies asked to ride
to the hotel with us. She said her man got
her discounted rate so she could come kick it with
(09:42):
us for the weekend.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Now, I want you to know that she made sure
you knew.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That information, because she didn't have to say that, right,
but little missus gurly girl, made sure that you knew
that information. Now, well, why is she at our same hotel?
Because that's the one he put her at. So when
the girl, the girl get dressed and come out of
(10:08):
the room, she right there went till my lashes on
in that makeup and them still lettos. You sitting up
in here, God on you got a moo moo dress
on with them flats. You ain't got an nail polish
or toe nail polish. Your head foot over there look
like mine? You just over here, just at the beach.
(10:31):
That's what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna look
down at my girl and her foot look like my foot.
We're we're not finnh Do I need to see some differences.
I don't wear nail polish on my toes all hands.
I like it when you do, though. I don't wear
high heeled shoes, but I like it when you do.
(10:53):
I don't wear makeup except on TV, but I like
it when you do. I ain't never had on no lash. Yes,
I happen to like him though. Now if you want
to put a couple of bags in your hair, I
ain't got no problem with that. Put them in the right.
Don't have them, you know, yeah, they do it different.
Now you ain't got to have tracks and all this
(11:14):
glue showing and everything just to spend your money and
get it done right, or don't do it at all.
Don't come out the house looking like Mary Poppins. And
now we want me to be excited about you? Now,
I was furious the entire weekend. I started to drive
an hour back in the middle of the night, he
(11:34):
told me, he's getting tired of my insecurities. Am I
supposed to I am supposed to be cool with his
girlfriends and not worry about him crossing the line with them.
If you worry about them crossing the line, why are you.
I saw a young dude on the internet that said
something He's in He was talking one time and one
of his guests said, women, do you all believe in
(11:56):
women's intuition?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And all the women in here said yes. He said,
if your.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Intuition can tell you that your man is cheating, why
your intuition can't tell you when he's not happy?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And the whole room got quiet. Wow, the whole room
got quiet.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Now, if he keeps inviting these girls somewhere, it's because
they feel something in him that you don't. And I'm
just being real with you, because it comes a time, man,
where you gonna meet the one where you don't need
all the other women. I ain't saying you ain't a man,
you ain't gonna wish or think about it or nothing
(12:38):
like that. I ain't saying that, but I'm saying, it
comes a time when you gonna meet one where the
rest of them ain't gonna matter, And right now he'd
have met you, but the other two still matter. Now
you work that out how you want to. Old fashioned
ass uncle Steve and told y'all get a dude who's
got all them female friends gonna be a problem.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Thus the letter. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
All right, thank you, Steve. You can leave your comments
on today's Strawberry Letter. You on Instagram. You're welcome on
Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harby FM and check us
check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the
free iHeartRadio app coming up next to this Junior and
sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours. It could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.
Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All right, thank you, nephew. Subject why was she at
the same hotel? Dear Stephen Shirley. I am dating a
man that has a lot of female friends. I don't
like it, but they seem harmless, so I've learned to
go with the flow. He is on a bowling team
with two of his closest friends from his childhood. They're
girly girls, and it bothers me because I don't do
(00:47):
all of the weed, makeup, lashes and stilettos like them.
I feel self conscious around them. To be totally honest,
he assured me that he isn't into all of that either,
and he loves how I dress and how I carry myself.
He told my stepdad that he wants to marry me.
So I have been on pins and needles, thinking he's
going to pop the question at any minute. He booked
(01:10):
a weekend trip to the nearby beach, and he said
he just wanted to get away. We got a suite
on the beach side, and when I walked in, I
got excited because I just knew he was setting the
mood to ask me to marry him. That night, he
said we were going to dinner and he had a
few people joining us to make the night special. It
(01:30):
was his two best girlfriends. I thought it would be
my stepdad, my brother, and my best friend because I
was getting a ring that night, but it was just
the four of us sitting there. To make matters worse,
one of the ladies asked to ride to the hotel
with us. She said, my man got her a discounted
rate so she could come kick it with us for
the weekend. Why is she at our same hotel? When
(01:54):
I asked him that, he got cross with me, like
I'm the problem. I was furious the entire weekend and
started to drive the hour back home. In the middle
of the night, he told me that he's getting tired
of my insecurities. I am supposed to be cool with
his girlfriends and not worry about him crossing the line
with them. Nope, you don't have to be cool with
(02:17):
them if you're not cool with them. And you are
clearly not cool with these women, and that's okay, it's
quite all right. It's not even about you being insecure
like a man accused you of. It's about him not
hearing you having these female friends and not considering your
feelings concerning these girls. It's a free country and all,
(02:37):
But I agree with you. Why are they there when
it's supposed to be a weekend getaway for the two
of you. Are you sure this is the man you
want to marry. You're looking for a ring from this
guy because his girly girlfriends obviously aren't going anywhere. He'll
probably want them in the wedding, you know that, right.
You got to tell him exactly how you feel about
(02:58):
these ladies always being around. Tell him you don't like it.
He's not gonna like it when you tell him that,
and you may lose him. But this is about you,
and you're never going to be comfortable or happy in
your relationship, and you will never trust or be sure
that he won't cross the line with these girls. That's
always gonna be at the top of your mind. So you,
my dear, are not the priority in this relationship, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Well, well, well, here we go again. How many times
I got to say this? Damn the subject of this
letter being why she at the same hotel. Damn that,
here's the letter right here. I am dating a man
that has a lot of female friends.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I said.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Right now, I'm told y'all how many times I got
to tell y'all. I ain't gonna keep telling y'all, Uncle Steve,
that's old fashioned, Uncle Steve. That ain't hard work no more,
Uncle Steve. You can have friends and not have sex
with him. Uncle Steve, Yeah, you might can have friends
and not have sex with him, But don't mean y'all
want too.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
You might cross that line.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Damn it.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm tired of talking to you about this. You're just stupid.
We are men, ain't finna change. We love optics, We
are observational, and we are attracted to aesthetics.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
We are men.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Don't you let no man tell you that aesthetics don't
matter what's wrong with you? We are not that complicated
of a creature. Aesthetics is everything I'm dating. A man
got a lot of female friends. You know why he
got a lot of female friends because of the aesthetics.
(04:45):
How it looks, how he feel when he around them.
That's why you have a lot of female friends. Sick
of sayings to y'all. Now, Uncle Steve, you old fashioned,
call whatever you want to call it, this real. I
don't like it, but they seem harmless, so I've learned.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
To go with the float. Okay.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
So now what you've done is you found this out
in the beginning and you just got okay with it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That's gonna come back to bite you.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
He's on the bowling team with two of his closest
friends from his childhood that listen to this line right here.
They're girly girls, and it bothers me because I don't
do all the weave makeup, lashes and stilettos like them.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Okay, what you doing?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Then? Let me ask you that you don't do we've
you don't do lashes, you don't do stilettos, you don't
do makeup.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Where you going? What's happening?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
They are girly girls, and it bothers me. Now they
girly girls, and you know they girly girls all uncle
Steve asking you if them is girly girl, what is you?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's all I'm a no, no, is you know, Shirley.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You have your letter, Just do your letter with all
their little bulls, your handswers you be got?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
What is you?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Then? If Jesus girly girls, what is you? I'm just asked, Wow,
I'm just that you know, and I'm telling you right now?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Do he like makeup? Yup? Weave?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
He don't mind? Last is yes, instill left. I don't
know a man living don't like the letters. I don't
know who. I do not know a man that don't
like red botm shoes. I just thought I ain't many.
I ain't never heard a man say I'd rather my
wom would have on flats. I ain't ever heard a
man say that.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Hang on, Steve, hang on, Okay, well hang on, We'll
have part two of your Strubbery of your Strawberry letter
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
of today's subjects Why was she at the same hotel?
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show all right, come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is why was she
(07:00):
at the same hotel?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well, the letter ain't really about it's why she at
the same hotel. The letter is I'm dating a man
that has a lot of female friends. That's what this
whole letter is about. Not have told you all about it.
She don't like it, but they seem harmless, so I've
seen to go with the flow. Well, let me tell
you about the harmless people that's on his bowling team.
Two of his closest friends from his childhood and two
of his girls.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They hear.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
The problem is they girly girls, and it bothers me
because I don't do all the weave, make up, last
stilettos like them. Okay, then what do you do. I
ain't gonna get into that no more. You obviously you
not a girly girl. I'm gonna tell you one more time.
Men are into aesthetics, period, Don't you think we not?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
They ain't been.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Friends with them girls all these years because they rough
and madly. Man, I showed like these girls right there
by you let them t shirts they be wearing, many
got them baseball hats. Home. They got they half faded.
You know, they should have been here. We can box sometime,
we go boxing together, you know, and they ain't doing that.
(08:05):
They girly girls, they got on stilettos, lashes, all that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
We like.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
All that.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Now to be totally honest, and you self conscious around them,
He assured me that he ain't to all that either.
He ain't into that. And he loves how I dress
and carry myself. Okay, that could be fair assessment. He
probably do, but I and he told my stepdad that
he want to marry me. So now you've been walking
around on peers and needles waiting on him to pop
(08:33):
the question. So you thought it was gonna happen because
he booked this weekend trip to the beach. He got
a suite on the beach. You walked in, you got
excited because you thought, oh man, this is it right here,
this is finally gonna be the one I'm finna get
popped the question. And then he said that we're gonna
have to at dinner, and he had a few people
joining us to make the night special.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Or you got really excited.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So then guess what you assumed you thought the special
people was gonna be your stepdad, your brother, and your girlfriend,
your best friend, because you was getting the ring that night.
But it was before, of y'all. It was him, you
and them two girls, them two girly girls sitting over
there with their stilettos on, and them damn eye lash
(09:20):
and said that makeup and they have longer than it's
supposed to be. Probably had bought a thirty bag up
in here, just all up in here, just all up
in his face, cleavagey'all out and everything. And then to
make matters worse, one of the ladies asked to ride
to the hotel with us. She said her man got
her discounted rate so she could come kick it with
(09:42):
us for the weekend.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Now, I want you to know that she made sure
you knew.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That information, because she didn't have to say that, right,
but little missus gurly girl, made sure that you knew
that information. Now, well, why is she at our same hotel?
Because that's the one he put her at. So when
the girl, the girl get dressed and come out of
(10:08):
the room, she right there went till my lashes on
in that makeup and them still lettos. You sitting up
in here, God on you got a moo moo dress
on with them flats. You ain't got an nail polish
or toe nail polish. Your head foot over there look
like mine? You just over here, just at the beach.
(10:31):
That's what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna look
down at my girl and her foot look like my foot.
We're we're not finnh Do I need to see some differences.
I don't wear nail polish on my toes all hands.
I like it when you do, though. I don't wear
high heeled shoes, but I like it when you do.
(10:53):
I don't wear makeup except on TV, but I like
it when you do. I ain't never had on no lash. Yes,
I happen to like him though. Now if you want
to put a couple of bags in your hair, I
ain't got no problem with that. Put them in the right.
Don't have them, you know, yeah, they do it different.
Now you ain't got to have tracks and all this
(11:14):
glue showing and everything just to spend your money and
get it done right, or don't do it at all.
Don't come out the house looking like Mary Poppins. And
now we want me to be excited about you? Now,
I was furious the entire weekend. I started to drive
an hour back in the middle of the night, he
(11:34):
told me, he's getting tired of my insecurities. Am I
supposed to I am supposed to be cool with his
girlfriends and not worry about him crossing the line with them.
If you worry about them crossing the line, why are you.
I saw a young dude on the internet that said
something He's in He was talking one time and one
of his guests said, women, do you all believe in
(11:56):
women's intuition?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And all the women in here said yes. He said,
if your.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Intuition can tell you that your man is cheating, why
your intuition can't tell you when he's not happy?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And the whole room got quiet. Wow, the whole room
got quiet.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Now, if he keeps inviting these girls somewhere, it's because
they feel something in him that you don't. And I'm
just being real with you, because it comes a time, man,
where you gonna meet the one where you don't need
all the other women. I ain't saying you ain't a man,
you ain't gonna wish or think about it or nothing
(12:38):
like that. I ain't saying that, but I'm saying, it
comes a time when you gonna meet one where the
rest of them ain't gonna matter, And right now he'd
have met you, but the other two still matter. Now
you work that out how you want to. Old fashioned
ass uncle Steve and told y'all get a dude who's
got all them female friends gonna be a problem.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Thus the letter. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
All right, thank you, Steve. You can leave your comments
on today's Strawberry Letter. You on Instagram. You're welcome on
Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harby FM and check us
check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the
free iHeartRadio app coming up next to this Junior and
sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.
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