August 8, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a wife and a bonus mom to two teenagers, and my husband has a good co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife. His fourteen year old son lives with us. His seventeen year old daughter is living with her mother. She turned seventeen on July thirtieth, and that is what prompted me to write in for your opinion. My husband told me that we were buying his daughter a car for her birthday, but he did not tell me it was going to be a car that's better than both of our cars. It's a sporty coup with too much horsepower for a teenager..................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject his daughter gets better gifts than
I do. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a wife and a
bonus mom to two teenagers, and my husband has a
good co parenting relationship with his ex wife. His fourteen
year old son lives with us. His seventeen year old
daughter is living with her mother. She turned seventeen on
(00:47):
July thirtieth, and that is what prompted me to write
in for your opinion. My husband told me that we
were buying his daughter a car for her birthday, but
he did not tell me it was going to be
a car that's better than both of our cars. It's
a sporty coop with too much horsepower for a teenager.
He defended his decision to buy it because she did
(01:09):
not get a car for her sixteenth birthday like her
friends did. He took me to the dealership to pick
up the car, and I thought I was getting pranked
and the car was for me. He made me drive
his old car back home because he didn't want any
damage on his princess car. I cried all the way
to the house. I'm jealous and hurt that he values
(01:32):
his daughter more than he values me. It's always been
like this. He gives her a teddy bear and some
kind of jewelry for Valentine's Day every year, and all
I get is a card and dinner, no card or
anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We
can't afford her lifestyle, and I am tired of paying
(01:55):
credit card bills. Her mom called me to discuss the car.
She thinks it is inappropriate too, and she told me
that my husband might be trying to buy their daughter's
love because she knew about his infidelity. She said that
their daughter knows that I was the side chick for years.
I never looked at it that way. Is this punishment
(02:16):
for me because I helped to end his marriage or
is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable. Please advise. Okay, well,
I'm just gonna say this. I was feeling some kind
of way about all of this, you know, kind of
on your side at first, until I got to the
bottom of this letter and you said you were the
(02:38):
side chick that helped end his marriage. What do you expect?
I mean, this is an entirely different situation. Now, this
is more than just a daddy doting over his daughter
and spoiling his daughter. His ex wife, the woman he
left for you told you that the daughter knew for
years he was cheating with you. What she didn't say
(02:59):
is how her daughter knew, And I think that's key
in this letter. Does she catch him? Was she traumatized
by it all? We don't know. You didn't tell us
that part. But I think this is about him trying
to make up for his cheating by, like his ex
wife said, trying to buy his daughter's love. This is
what guilt looks like. And I think you know that
(03:21):
he's trying to make his daughter not think he's a
bad dad because he cheated and left the family for you.
That in and of itself is unusual because that hardly
ever happens to side chicks where the husband marries them
the woman that he was cheating on his wife with.
You don't say how long you guys have been married,
but she's only seventeen the daughter, and I really don't
(03:42):
see the extravagant gifts stopping anytime soon again because of
the guilt he feels he may have married you, but
clearly his daughter is number one. I mean, you even
said that, and this will continue to be a problem
for you. But I say, don't suffer in silence. You
wrote us. Now you got to bring it up to
him so you guys can deal with it. But I
would just tell you this lower your expectations.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Steve. Great answer, Shirley, Absolutely great answer. I agree with
everything you said one hundred percent. I'm just looking at
this letter. I don't I don't this one got some
twisting turns in it that just uh man, I don't
know what you want lady, you know you kind of
I'm just reading this letter, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I'm like, Shirley, I was with you, you.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Know you you were you were you you the wife,
your ex hu I mean, your husband has a great
co parenting relationship with the ex got the fourteen year
old boy to live with y'all and and uh and
the seventeen year old girl to.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Live with the mother. Okay, cool, all right?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And your husband told you that he was buying his
daughter car for her birthday, and what he didn't tell
you that the car that they was gonna buy was
better than the car that both of y'all got. That
ain't finna happen. I'm just gonna tell you that right there.
That's about as crazy as you come. Right here. Now.
I don't know how my child I just done that.
(05:07):
That's ignorant on so many levels. I'm not fitna buy
my child a car that's better than the one I got.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I damn show.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Ain't finna walk in here and get my child a
car better than the one on my wife drive. Okay,
he done lost his ever loving ass mind for that,
and they went.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
To pick it up.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
It's a sporty coop, too much horsepower for a teenager.
And he defended the decision by telling you because he
didn't get her a car for her sixteenth Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I got news for you.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I should have been wrote this letter on my mom
and daddy a long time ago, because they didn't ever.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Get me no damn car. So I'm just fished off.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
At this letter right here, Damn the sixteenth, I didn't
get nothing for the twenty fifth, twenty eight, thirty thirty fifth.
I'm just so mad at they ass now so anyway,
and he took you to the dealership to pick up
the car, and you thought you was getting prank that
you thought the car was for you. He made me
drive his old car back home because he didn't want
(06:12):
any damage to his prince's car. I cried all the
way to the house. I'm with you on all this here,
and I still stand on what I said. My child
cannot get a better, more expensive car than me. Don't
how his work. Now you say, I'm jealous and hurt
that he values his daughter more than he values you.
(06:34):
And when we come back, I'm gonna tell you what
the real problem is and how I might handle it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour of the subject is his daughter gets better gifts
than I do. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject his daughter gets
better gifts than I do.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
She's got a co parenting relationship with her husband, his
ex wife's and their child lived with them. Fourteen year
old boy, seventeen year old girl lives with the mother.
That great co parenting problem is he buys this girl everything.
And he bought a new car for her seventeenth birthday
without telling her and took her down to the dealership.
(07:23):
And what tripped her out was a sporty high house
horsepower car. And she thought the car was for her
and it wasn't. And it's a car that's better than
both the car that the mother drives and her husband drives.
So he done brought his daughter car that's better than
both of them. Then he made the ex wife drive
(07:44):
his old car home while he drove a new one
to the house because he ain't want nothing happened to it.
This lady cries all the way home. She feels like
he values the daughter's relationship more than he values their
relationship and justified it by saying he's by this expensive
car because she didn't get a car for her sixteenth
birthday like her friends did. That really stung me personally
(08:09):
because my mama and nem didn't get me no car
from sixteen or thirty fifth birthday. And I'm really boom
started to be boring more pissed off by this as
I read this letter. I'm mad as hell and my
mama thought about this here now because I didn't even
know I was supposed to get no damn car sixteenth.
(08:32):
Tell you clearly, I remember exactly what I had on
my sixteenth birthday. Yeah, I had bought myself a brand
new English Racer eighty seven dollars from May Company. Had
that in layaway because I had to work and get
there anyway. Long story short, So now you get home
crazy and he feels she feels like he values a
daughter's relationship more than hers, and it's always been like this.
(08:56):
He gives her a Teddy Bear some kind of jewelry
on Valentine's Day every year, and all I get is
a card in dinner. I don't get no car or
anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We
can't afford her lifestyle, and I'm tired of paying credit
card bills. Now here's the key to this whole letter.
Her mother, the girl's mother, his ex wife called this
(09:19):
lady to discuss the car. Now the mother agrees and
thinks it's inappropriate too to buy such a car.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Now, all the.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Adults is against the car except him. So now the
daughter probably got it, got it. The daughter got a
better card than the lady that wrote the letter, but
it got a better card than her husband. And now
I got a better card in the ex wife. Ah,
everybody in the letter pissed off. Yes, So now she
(09:50):
told me that her husband might be trying to buy
her daughter's love because she knew about his infidelity. Shirley said,
how would she know that? Well, cause the told her that.
You better believe her daddy didn't tell her. The father
didn't go in there and tell it. The mother told
her about the infidelity. And it's odd that she would
(10:11):
call you under the let's car. I must say disguised,
because I know there's a word for it that you're
supposed to use. But she gonna hide her real intent
for calling you by saying I think the car is
inappropriate too.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But she really wanted to stain your ass.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
With the information and the reason she buying him this
car because your husband might be trying to buy our
daughter's love because she knew about y'all's infidelity. She said,
her daughter knows that I was a side chick for years.
Then she said this surprising statement, I never looked at
it that way. You know, lady, what you ain't finna
(10:53):
do is be hurt. And then all of a sudden,
get real stupid in your letter. Now you analyzing everything else.
Now all us sudden stupid just took over. I never
looked at my daughter knows that daughter knows I was
the side chick for years.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I never looked at it side piece thoughts.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Well?
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Are you crazy? I didn't know Popeye's had red bees
or rice?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
She tried to trick us.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
You mean to tell me camc sir Slow, is this
punishment for me because I helped to end his marriage?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Or is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable?
Please advise. Let me tell you something. I have a
hard time telling my daughter's No. My daughters can call
me for anything, and I pretty much would do it.
Tommy know the same thing. But now let me explain something.
Though you're not Finnah, get no damn car that cost
mode in my car. I that you got my way
(12:00):
right now. Matter of fact, you better not pull up
in something look just like mine because I'm trying to
figure out what hell going on now, So let's just
start there.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Have all my daughter's gotten cars from me? Yes? Absolutely?
Was any of them cars better than the one I'm driving? Hell?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Now, have I had to explain some of my past
transgressions to my kids?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I could have, but I haven't.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Okay, I ain't gonna tell you damn thing. Me and
your mommy ain't together, cause well, me and your momy
ad to get We ain't work out. That's not what happened.
We ain't work out the whole that had been about
me ever since they brought this girl this car. Sixteen,
My mama daddy didn't buy me.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
No damn car.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I ain't get a car when out sixteen, twenty, twenty five,
thirty thirty five, I ain't get up.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I ain't get a new car out of thirty eight.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for he never
sounded so good. You can download it today. Coming up
at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior is here
with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Dave
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject his daughter gets better gifts than
I do. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a wife and a
bonus mom to two teenagers, and my husband has a
good co parenting relationship with his ex wife. His fourteen
year old son lives with us. His seventeen year old
daughter is living with her mother. She turned seventeen on
(00:47):
July thirtieth, and that is what prompted me to write
in for your opinion. My husband told me that we
were buying his daughter a car for her birthday, but
he did not tell me it was going to be
a car that's better than both of our cars. It's
a sporty coop with too much horsepower for a teenager.
He defended his decision to buy it because she did
(01:09):
not get a car for her sixteenth birthday like her
friends did. He took me to the dealership to pick
up the car, and I thought I was getting pranked
and the car was for me. He made me drive
his old car back home because he didn't want any
damage on his princess car. I cried all the way
to the house. I'm jealous and hurt that he values
(01:32):
his daughter more than he values me. It's always been
like this. He gives her a teddy bear and some
kind of jewelry for Valentine's Day every year, and all
I get is a card and dinner, no card or
anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We
can't afford her lifestyle, and I am tired of paying
(01:55):
credit card bills. Her mom called me to discuss the car.
She thinks it is inappropriate too, and she told me
that my husband might be trying to buy their daughter's
love because she knew about his infidelity. She said that
their daughter knows that I was the side chick for years.
I never looked at it that way. Is this punishment
(02:16):
for me because I helped to end his marriage or
is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable. Please advise. Okay, well,
I'm just gonna say this. I was feeling some kind
of way about all of this, you know, kind of
on your side at first, until I got to the
bottom of this letter and you said you were the
(02:38):
side chick that helped end his marriage. What do you expect?
I mean, this is an entirely different situation. Now, this
is more than just a daddy doting over his daughter
and spoiling his daughter. His ex wife, the woman he
left for you told you that the daughter knew for
years he was cheating with you. What she didn't say
(02:59):
is how her daughter knew, And I think that's key
in this letter. Does she catch him? Was she traumatized
by it all? We don't know. You didn't tell us
that part. But I think this is about him trying
to make up for his cheating by, like his ex
wife said, trying to buy his daughter's love. This is
what guilt looks like. And I think you know that
(03:21):
he's trying to make his daughter not think he's a
bad dad because he cheated and left the family for you.
That in and of itself is unusual because that hardly
ever happens to side chicks where the husband marries them
the woman that he was cheating on his wife with.
You don't say how long you guys have been married,
but she's only seventeen the daughter, and I really don't
(03:42):
see the extravagant gifts stopping anytime soon again because of
the guilt he feels he may have married you, but
clearly his daughter is number one. I mean, you even
said that, and this will continue to be a problem
for you. But I say, don't suffer in silence. You
wrote us. Now you got to bring it up to
him so you guys can deal with it. But I
would just tell you this lower your expectations.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Steve. Great answer, Shirley, Absolutely great answer. I agree with
everything you said one hundred percent. I'm just looking at
this letter. I don't I don't this one got some
twisting turns in it that just uh man, I don't
know what you want lady, you know you kind of
I'm just reading this letter, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I'm like, Shirley, I was with you, you.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Know you you were you were you you the wife,
your ex hu I mean, your husband has a great
co parenting relationship with the ex got the fourteen year
old boy to live with y'all and and uh and
the seventeen year old girl to.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Live with the mother. Okay, cool, all right?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And your husband told you that he was buying his
daughter car for her birthday, and what he didn't tell
you that the car that they was gonna buy was
better than the car that both of y'all got. That
ain't finna happen. I'm just gonna tell you that right there.
That's about as crazy as you come. Right here. Now.
I don't know how my child I just done that.
(05:07):
That's ignorant on so many levels. I'm not fitna buy
my child a car that's better than the one I got.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I damn show.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Ain't finna walk in here and get my child a
car better than the one on my wife drive. Okay,
he done lost his ever loving ass mind for that,
and they went.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
To pick it up.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
It's a sporty coop, too much horsepower for a teenager.
And he defended the decision by telling you because he
didn't get her a car for her sixteenth Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I got news for you.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I should have been wrote this letter on my mom
and daddy a long time ago, because they didn't ever.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Get me no damn car. So I'm just fished off.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
At this letter right here, Damn the sixteenth, I didn't
get nothing for the twenty fifth, twenty eight, thirty thirty fifth.
I'm just so mad at they ass now so anyway,
and he took you to the dealership to pick up
the car, and you thought you was getting prank that
you thought the car was for you. He made me
drive his old car back home because he didn't want
(06:12):
any damage to his prince's car. I cried all the
way to the house. I'm with you on all this here,
and I still stand on what I said. My child
cannot get a better, more expensive car than me. Don't
how his work. Now you say, I'm jealous and hurt
that he values his daughter more than he values you.
(06:34):
And when we come back, I'm gonna tell you what
the real problem is and how I might handle it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour of the subject is his daughter gets better gifts
than I do. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject his daughter gets
better gifts than I do.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
She's got a co parenting relationship with her husband, his
ex wife's and their child lived with them. Fourteen year
old boy, seventeen year old girl lives with the mother.
That great co parenting problem is he buys this girl everything.
And he bought a new car for her seventeenth birthday
without telling her and took her down to the dealership.
(07:23):
And what tripped her out was a sporty high house
horsepower car. And she thought the car was for her
and it wasn't. And it's a car that's better than
both the car that the mother drives and her husband drives.
So he done brought his daughter car that's better than
both of them. Then he made the ex wife drive
(07:44):
his old car home while he drove a new one
to the house because he ain't want nothing happened to it.
This lady cries all the way home. She feels like
he values the daughter's relationship more than he values their
relationship and justified it by saying he's by this expensive
car because she didn't get a car for her sixteenth
birthday like her friends did. That really stung me personally
(08:09):
because my mama and nem didn't get me no car
from sixteen or thirty fifth birthday. And I'm really boom
started to be boring more pissed off by this as
I read this letter. I'm mad as hell and my
mama thought about this here now because I didn't even
know I was supposed to get no damn car sixteenth.
(08:32):
Tell you clearly, I remember exactly what I had on
my sixteenth birthday. Yeah, I had bought myself a brand
new English Racer eighty seven dollars from May Company. Had
that in layaway because I had to work and get
there anyway. Long story short, So now you get home
crazy and he feels she feels like he values a
daughter's relationship more than hers, and it's always been like this.
(08:56):
He gives her a Teddy Bear some kind of jewelry
on Valentine's Day every year, and all I get is
a card in dinner. I don't get no car or
anything for Christmas. She gets everything on her list. We
can't afford her lifestyle, and I'm tired of paying credit
card bills. Now here's the key to this whole letter.
Her mother, the girl's mother, his ex wife called this
(09:19):
lady to discuss the car. Now the mother agrees and
thinks it's inappropriate too to buy such a car.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Now, all the.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Adults is against the car except him. So now the
daughter probably got it, got it. The daughter got a
better card than the lady that wrote the letter, but
it got a better card than her husband. And now
I got a better card in the ex wife. Ah,
everybody in the letter pissed off. Yes, So now she
(09:50):
told me that her husband might be trying to buy
her daughter's love because she knew about his infidelity. Shirley said,
how would she know that? Well, cause the told her that.
You better believe her daddy didn't tell her. The father
didn't go in there and tell it. The mother told
her about the infidelity. And it's odd that she would
(10:11):
call you under the let's car. I must say disguised,
because I know there's a word for it that you're
supposed to use. But she gonna hide her real intent
for calling you by saying I think the car is
inappropriate too.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But she really wanted to stain your ass.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
With the information and the reason she buying him this
car because your husband might be trying to buy our
daughter's love because she knew about y'all's infidelity. She said,
her daughter knows that I was a side chick for years.
Then she said this surprising statement, I never looked at
it that way. You know, lady, what you ain't finna
(10:53):
do is be hurt. And then all of a sudden,
get real stupid in your letter. Now you analyzing everything else.
Now all us sudden stupid just took over. I never
looked at my daughter knows that daughter knows I was
the side chick for years.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I never looked at it side piece thoughts.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Well?
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Are you crazy? I didn't know Popeye's had red bees
or rice?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
She tried to trick us.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
You mean to tell me camc sir Slow, is this
punishment for me because I helped to end his marriage?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Or is this a typical daddy daughter bond that's unbreakable?
Please advise. Let me tell you something. I have a
hard time telling my daughter's No. My daughters can call
me for anything, and I pretty much would do it.
Tommy know the same thing. But now let me explain something.
Though you're not Finnah, get no damn car that cost
mode in my car. I that you got my way
(12:00):
right now. Matter of fact, you better not pull up
in something look just like mine because I'm trying to
figure out what hell going on now, So let's just
start there.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Have all my daughter's gotten cars from me? Yes? Absolutely?
Was any of them cars better than the one I'm driving? Hell?
Speaker 1 (12:19):
No?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Now, have I had to explain some of my past
transgressions to my kids?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I could have, but I haven't.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Okay, I ain't gonna tell you damn thing. Me and
your mommy ain't together, cause well, me and your momy
ad to get We ain't work out. That's not what happened.
We ain't work out the whole that had been about
me ever since they brought this girl this car. Sixteen,
My mama daddy didn't buy me.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
No damn car.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I ain't get a car when out sixteen, twenty, twenty five,
thirty thirty five, I ain't get up.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I ain't get a new car out of thirty eight.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for he never
sounded so good. You can download it today. Coming up
at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior is here
with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Dave
Harvey Morning Show
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