August 21, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband is threatening to divorce me because I haven't slept in the bed with him for almost two months. I have asked him to do a few minor things, but he won't and to add to the things he does to irritate me at night, he does not wear his sleep mask, so he snores like sasquatch. We got married in 2017 and he moved back to our hometown to be with me. We met over twenty years ago, but we were just good friends until we realized that we had a lot in common. Our long distance relationship was fine because he always came to see me............................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com
by clicking Strawberry submit Strawberry Letter, and we could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now. And
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buchael up and hold on time.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew. Subject It's impossible to sleep next to him.
Dear Stephen Shirley, my husband is threatening to divorce me
because I haven't slept in the bed with him for
almost two months. I have asked him to do a
few minor things, but he won't. And to add to
the things he does to irritate me at night, he
does not wear his sleep mask, so he snores like sasquatch.
(00:50):
We got married in twenty seventeen and he moved back
to our hometown to be with me. We met over
twenty years ago, but we were just good friends until
we realized that we had a lot in Our long
distance relationship was fine because he always came to see me.
I have children, so he would come by the house
and we'd have to get a hotel room to have sex.
(01:12):
He couldn't stay overnight at my house because I have
daughters and I didn't want to set the wrong example.
We had only spent three night full nights together before
we got married. He was definitely on his best behavior
night right after we said I do, But then I
started to notice a lot of nasty behaviors. Here are
a few. He rubs his ashy feet together to fall asleep,
(01:36):
and it's very loud. His foot scrapings are left between
the sheets and they get all over me. He likes
to sleep in nothing but his boxers, and his bristly
bear chest pokes me when he tries to cuddle. He
needs his sleep mask, but he won't wear it because
he likes to wake up in the middle of the
night for sex. It's not romantic, and most times he
(01:59):
doesn't kiss me or look at me. He's usually loud
and out of breath. We're an older couple and we
are set in our ways. The sex is doable, but
it's impossible to sleep next to him. Can our marriage
work if I sleep in the other room. Well, you
just said he's threatening to divorce you if you don't
(02:20):
sleep in the same bed with him. And this has
been going on for two months now. He's not having it.
He is not having it. But other couples have made
this work. You know, they come together to have sex
or and then they retreat to their own rooms afterwards
if the snoring is unbearable and all of that, but
through it all they stay together. And yes, you can
(02:42):
be turned off by his ashy feet and the scrapings
that he leaves on the bed, especially if they get
all over you and they're all in the bed. Yeah,
that's that's disgusting. You know, moisturize, clean clean up. We
don't like that. You know, you can fix the snoring.
You know that might take a little effort, but it's
(03:03):
not impossible. And you know, marriage is a compromise. You
know that if he wants you in the bed, he
should be willing to make a few simple changes. I mean,
I don't think you should let ashy feed and snoring
make you have a divorce or anything. You know, take
him with you the next time you get your feet
done so he can get his done too. I just
(03:23):
think those small things would make a big difference if
you guys want this marriage, if you truly love each other,
because the whole point is to make these minor adjustments
and get you back in the bed and to save
your marriage, basically, because that's what you want. Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, it's a good answer, Shirley, But I'm just gonna
go on and cut to it. The subject is it's
impossible to sleep next to him. The question at the
end of the letter is can I marriage work if
I sleep in the other room? Okay, let's just deal
with the hobbous. Can I marriage work if I sleep
in the other room? Yes, it can, but this one
(04:01):
probably ain't. One more time, can our marriage work if
I sleep in the other room? It probably can, but
this one ain't. And because you said your husband is
threatening to divorce you, because you already ain't slept into
(04:23):
bed with him for almost two months, you can't take
no mold. So now he threatening to divorce you. We'll
hold up. Don't. Let's look at this part right here.
This is why he got these nasty habits. He rubs
his ashy feet together to fall asleep, and it's very loud.
(04:47):
What is on his damn fat.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Get to it. Get to it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
What is you up? Okay, this is my hands in
a microphone, and I got him right up against the microphone.
And I have for a man's soft hands. Most people
shake my hands, hold my hands, say wow, you have
really really soft hands. Because I don't do nothing. I
(05:14):
don't do nothing. Now. When I was in my twenties,
I had rough hands because I had to go to work,
callouses and yeah, I had all that. I'm picking up manifolds,
sledge hammers, you know, engine blocks, y'all, I had rough
hair hands. I don't do that no more. Now what
is on his feet though.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
He rubbed them together and they loud. Now once again,
let me show you. This is my hands in the microphone.
His feet is under the cover and they loud. I
beat damn so homeboy, and y'all have already said, y'all
are older couple. He don't do nothing to his feet
(05:58):
but walk on him. Ain't no lotion, ain't no filing,
ain't no clipping nothing. So now his foot scrapings are
left between the sheets and they get all over me.
What how you sleep with this nasty ass? What is
we doing? And he likes to sleep in nothing but
(06:22):
his boxes, and his bristly bad chest pokes me when
he tries to cuddle. That's irritating. And he needs his
sleep mask, but he won't wear it because he likes
to wake me up in the middle of the night.
For six Now for those of you, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, just think we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. The
subject of today's strawberry letter it's impossible to sleep next
to him. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is it's impossible to
sleep next to him.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And she said that right, it is impossible. So what
she's done is she has already not slept in the
same bed with him for two months now as she
wrote the letter, and we found out lating the letter
there an older couple. And then she says, can I
marriage work if I sleep in the other room? It
can work, but this probably ain't. And the reason you
(07:23):
in that other room is because you didn't know after
dating him, because he used to come to your house,
but you got daughters, so y'all would get a hotel room.
And so now y'all spend together, spent the night together
three times, but maybe not the full night. Now y'all married,
and he lived at forget who's wrong? He rubs his
(07:45):
ass she feet together to fall asleep, and it's very loud.
Let me show you something. This is my hand in
the microphone. Okay, you can barely hear that, but you
can hear. His feet is under the cover and he
rubbing them together, and they very loud. What is on
(08:07):
this man's feet? Years and years of war tail. He
don't lotion him, He ain't got no calamine. This boy
is beyond corn husker's lotion. He needs some firework done.
He need a dipping, He need a hot wax, He
need a pedicure, He need a skin peel, probably need
his feet bleached. By this point, I don't know what.
(08:29):
He ain't doing nothing on his feet, sept walking on him.
And then the next thing that's wrong is he likes
to sleep with nothing but his boxes and his bristly
hair chest poked me when he tried to cuddle, but
then he snored like a bull. And he don't want
to wear his mask at night because he wants to
have sex in the middle of the night. Now, let
(08:49):
me explain this mask to you. The only mask I
know about that a lot of men, some women have
to wear it too, is for sleep avenue. Yeah. It's
hooked up to a machine so it can force air
into you so you can get a real nice sleep.
This is important if you have sleep apne because if
you don't, most sleep avenue patients also have high blood pressure.
(09:12):
If you don't solve this sleeping problem and help with
your high blood pressure, that can lead to stroke. This
is not a joking matter. Brothers. You have got to
address the cause of you sleeping on a machine. You
don't have to accept sleeping on the sleep apnel machine,
because I did. I had to sleep on it, and
(09:34):
I slept on one for about four five months. Then
I got on a program, a holistic approach. I got
that inflammation out of my body, and now I no
longer have sleep avenue. I don't sleep on the machine.
I couldn't stand it. Okay, So that's what's wrong with him.
So he got to get hisself together for a mess
around at high blood lead to a stroke, and we
(09:55):
got another problem, all right, Now, he won't wear it
because he liked to wake me up in the middle
of the night, and it's not romantic. He don't look
at me or kiss me. And he usually loud and
out of breath. Why know where? Everywhere he loud because
he's trying to have sex, and them feet, them same feet,
is trying to get grip on them sheets down there.
(10:15):
That's loud too. For all of that combined, all that,
you got a lot of racket going on. Then she
said the sex is doable, but it's impossible to sleep
next to him. Can I marriage work? And then the
whole thing that threw me in this letter is my
husband is threatening to divorce me. I don't see how
(10:38):
the hell you ain't trying to divorce him. Yeah, I
would flip the scrip on his ass. First of all,
he ain't gonna get another U. And the reason he
was available because ain't nobody else gonna let you scrape
them big ass feet together and make all that damn noise.
And now I got foot shavens all over me in
the morning. That ain't bro and he gotta do this
(11:01):
to go to sleep. Ah, hey, man, listen to me.
You gonna get We're gonna get a job as Selene.
We're gonna put them on their feet and we're gonna
heat up some socks in the oven and we're gonna
put them damn socks on that night, and we're gonna
do that for a week straight. Then we're gonna get
us some corn Huskers lotion and we're gonna put that on,
(11:24):
and we're gonna bandage your feet up like a Chinese woman.
We gonna get you bonded and we're gonna get some
help for your damn feet. And then after that we
take them bonds off, we're gonna soak them. We're gonna
get you an ass and some EPs and salt, and
we gonna see if we can get all this stuff
(11:45):
off your feet now. And then probably ran up his
legs too, so you're probably gonna Most people have got
ashy feet, got ashy ankles, which usually lead to ashley
ashy kneecaps.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah it's just ashy.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, he raggedy. So yeah, baby, if I was you,
he I can't believe he finna get the divorce. You
ought to get the divorce. I'm not sleeping with you
like that. You have to. I don't mind this knowing
we can work around that. I get that. We're just
scraping your feet shavings on me at night. We're not
to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Nasty Martin want to hear the chainsaw because he had
to go to work on my respect.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And that was you got yet Myra's feet.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yes, Wow, that's what this guy needs, a chainsaw.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Mh.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, that's that's a lot right there.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Disgusting. It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You think they might break up though, Steve, No, it's
over it. But he won't make the change. Wow, just
because he won't make the changes.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
But then he want her to stand. Sure, we'll do it.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, all right. Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Now.
Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com
by clicking Strawberry submit Strawberry Letter, and we could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now. And
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buchael up and hold on time.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew. Subject It's impossible to sleep next to him.
Dear Stephen Shirley, my husband is threatening to divorce me
because I haven't slept in the bed with him for
almost two months. I have asked him to do a
few minor things, but he won't. And to add to
the things he does to irritate me at night, he
does not wear his sleep mask, so he snores like sasquatch.
(00:50):
We got married in twenty seventeen and he moved back
to our hometown to be with me. We met over
twenty years ago, but we were just good friends until
we realized that we had a lot in Our long
distance relationship was fine because he always came to see me.
I have children, so he would come by the house
and we'd have to get a hotel room to have sex.
(01:12):
He couldn't stay overnight at my house because I have
daughters and I didn't want to set the wrong example.
We had only spent three night full nights together before
we got married. He was definitely on his best behavior
night right after we said I do, But then I
started to notice a lot of nasty behaviors. Here are
a few. He rubs his ashy feet together to fall asleep,
(01:36):
and it's very loud. His foot scrapings are left between
the sheets and they get all over me. He likes
to sleep in nothing but his boxers, and his bristly
bear chest pokes me when he tries to cuddle. He
needs his sleep mask, but he won't wear it because
he likes to wake up in the middle of the
night for sex. It's not romantic, and most times he
(01:59):
doesn't kiss me or look at me. He's usually loud
and out of breath. We're an older couple and we
are set in our ways. The sex is doable, but
it's impossible to sleep next to him. Can our marriage
work if I sleep in the other room. Well, you
just said he's threatening to divorce you if you don't
(02:20):
sleep in the same bed with him. And this has
been going on for two months now. He's not having it.
He is not having it. But other couples have made
this work. You know, they come together to have sex
or and then they retreat to their own rooms afterwards
if the snoring is unbearable and all of that, but
through it all they stay together. And yes, you can
(02:42):
be turned off by his ashy feet and the scrapings
that he leaves on the bed, especially if they get
all over you and they're all in the bed. Yeah,
that's that's disgusting. You know, moisturize, clean clean up. We
don't like that. You know, you can fix the snoring.
You know that might take a little effort, but it's
(03:03):
not impossible. And you know, marriage is a compromise. You
know that if he wants you in the bed, he
should be willing to make a few simple changes. I mean,
I don't think you should let ashy feed and snoring
make you have a divorce or anything. You know, take
him with you the next time you get your feet
done so he can get his done too. I just
(03:23):
think those small things would make a big difference if
you guys want this marriage, if you truly love each other,
because the whole point is to make these minor adjustments
and get you back in the bed and to save
your marriage, basically, because that's what you want. Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, it's a good answer, Shirley, But I'm just gonna
go on and cut to it. The subject is it's
impossible to sleep next to him. The question at the
end of the letter is can I marriage work if
I sleep in the other room? Okay, let's just deal
with the hobbous. Can I marriage work if I sleep
in the other room? Yes, it can, but this one
(04:01):
probably ain't. One more time, can our marriage work if
I sleep in the other room? It probably can, but
this one ain't. And because you said your husband is
threatening to divorce you, because you already ain't slept into
(04:23):
bed with him for almost two months, you can't take
no mold. So now he threatening to divorce you. We'll
hold up. Don't. Let's look at this part right here.
This is why he got these nasty habits. He rubs
his ashy feet together to fall asleep, and it's very loud.
(04:47):
What is on his damn fat.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Get to it. Get to it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
What is you up? Okay, this is my hands in
a microphone, and I got him right up against the microphone.
And I have for a man's soft hands. Most people
shake my hands, hold my hands, say wow, you have
really really soft hands. Because I don't do nothing. I
(05:14):
don't do nothing. Now. When I was in my twenties,
I had rough hands because I had to go to work,
callouses and yeah, I had all that. I'm picking up manifolds,
sledge hammers, you know, engine blocks, y'all, I had rough
hair hands. I don't do that no more. Now what
is on his feet though.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
He rubbed them together and they loud. Now once again,
let me show you. This is my hands in the microphone.
His feet is under the cover and they loud. I
beat damn so homeboy, and y'all have already said, y'all
are older couple. He don't do nothing to his feet
(05:58):
but walk on him. Ain't no lotion, ain't no filing,
ain't no clipping nothing. So now his foot scrapings are
left between the sheets and they get all over me.
What how you sleep with this nasty ass? What is
we doing? And he likes to sleep in nothing but
(06:22):
his boxes, and his bristly bad chest pokes me when
he tries to cuddle. That's irritating. And he needs his
sleep mask, but he won't wear it because he likes
to wake me up in the middle of the night.
For six Now for those of you, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, just think we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. The
subject of today's strawberry letter it's impossible to sleep next
to him. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is it's impossible to
sleep next to him.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And she said that right, it is impossible. So what
she's done is she has already not slept in the
same bed with him for two months now as she
wrote the letter, and we found out lating the letter
there an older couple. And then she says, can I
marriage work if I sleep in the other room? It
can work, but this probably ain't. And the reason you
(07:23):
in that other room is because you didn't know after
dating him, because he used to come to your house,
but you got daughters, so y'all would get a hotel room.
And so now y'all spend together, spent the night together
three times, but maybe not the full night. Now y'all married,
and he lived at forget who's wrong? He rubs his
(07:45):
ass she feet together to fall asleep, and it's very loud.
Let me show you something. This is my hand in
the microphone. Okay, you can barely hear that, but you
can hear. His feet is under the cover and he
rubbing them together, and they very loud. What is on
(08:07):
this man's feet? Years and years of war tail. He
don't lotion him, He ain't got no calamine. This boy
is beyond corn husker's lotion. He needs some firework done.
He need a dipping, He need a hot wax, He
need a pedicure, He need a skin peel, probably need
his feet bleached. By this point, I don't know what.
(08:29):
He ain't doing nothing on his feet, sept walking on him.
And then the next thing that's wrong is he likes
to sleep with nothing but his boxes and his bristly
hair chest poked me when he tried to cuddle, but
then he snored like a bull. And he don't want
to wear his mask at night because he wants to
have sex in the middle of the night. Now, let
(08:49):
me explain this mask to you. The only mask I
know about that a lot of men, some women have
to wear it too, is for sleep avenue. Yeah. It's
hooked up to a machine so it can force air
into you so you can get a real nice sleep.
This is important if you have sleep apne because if
you don't, most sleep avenue patients also have high blood pressure.
(09:12):
If you don't solve this sleeping problem and help with
your high blood pressure, that can lead to stroke. This
is not a joking matter. Brothers. You have got to
address the cause of you sleeping on a machine. You
don't have to accept sleeping on the sleep apnel machine,
because I did. I had to sleep on it, and
(09:34):
I slept on one for about four five months. Then
I got on a program, a holistic approach. I got
that inflammation out of my body, and now I no
longer have sleep avenue. I don't sleep on the machine.
I couldn't stand it. Okay, So that's what's wrong with him.
So he got to get hisself together for a mess
around at high blood lead to a stroke, and we
(09:55):
got another problem, all right, Now, he won't wear it
because he liked to wake me up in the middle
of the night, and it's not romantic. He don't look
at me or kiss me. And he usually loud and
out of breath. Why know where? Everywhere he loud because
he's trying to have sex, and them feet, them same feet,
is trying to get grip on them sheets down there.
(10:15):
That's loud too. For all of that combined, all that,
you got a lot of racket going on. Then she
said the sex is doable, but it's impossible to sleep
next to him. Can I marriage work? And then the
whole thing that threw me in this letter is my
husband is threatening to divorce me. I don't see how
(10:38):
the hell you ain't trying to divorce him. Yeah, I
would flip the scrip on his ass. First of all,
he ain't gonna get another U. And the reason he
was available because ain't nobody else gonna let you scrape
them big ass feet together and make all that damn noise.
And now I got foot shavens all over me in
the morning. That ain't bro and he gotta do this
(11:01):
to go to sleep. Ah, hey, man, listen to me.
You gonna get We're gonna get a job as Selene.
We're gonna put them on their feet and we're gonna
heat up some socks in the oven and we're gonna
put them damn socks on that night, and we're gonna
do that for a week straight. Then we're gonna get
us some corn Huskers lotion and we're gonna put that on,
(11:24):
and we're gonna bandage your feet up like a Chinese woman.
We gonna get you bonded and we're gonna get some
help for your damn feet. And then after that we
take them bonds off, we're gonna soak them. We're gonna
get you an ass and some EPs and salt, and
we gonna see if we can get all this stuff
(11:45):
off your feet now. And then probably ran up his
legs too, so you're probably gonna Most people have got
ashy feet, got ashy ankles, which usually lead to ashley
ashy kneecaps.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah it's just ashy.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, he raggedy. So yeah, baby, if I was you,
he I can't believe he finna get the divorce. You
ought to get the divorce. I'm not sleeping with you
like that. You have to. I don't mind this knowing
we can work around that. I get that. We're just
scraping your feet shavings on me at night. We're not
to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Nasty Martin want to hear the chainsaw because he had
to go to work on my respect.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And that was you got yet Myra's feet.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yes, Wow, that's what this guy needs, a chainsaw.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Mh.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, that's that's a lot right there.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Disgusting. It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
You think they might break up though, Steve, No, it's
over it. But he won't make the change. Wow, just
because he won't make the changes.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
But then he want her to stand. Sure, we'll do it.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, all right. Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Now.
Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show
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