Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now. You never know, it could
be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject my boyfriend can't tolerate much.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty seven year old female
and I just got out of a ten year relationship
that was going nowhere. Now I'm dating a twenty year old,
twenty nine year old man that pursued me for a
few years. He was there for me after my breakup,
so I got used to him being around. I want
(00:47):
to get your advice before I fall for the wrong
man again. He works as a manager of two movie
theaters and he runs his mobile detailing business on the side.
He's also a really good cook, but I can't get
him to cook anything spicy. That's a red flag Number
one because I'm from the South and we love a
little heat on our food. I can deal with him
(01:09):
not liking spicy foods, but there are some other things
that I love and he hates. He said he cannot
tolerate scary movies, roller coasters, water slides, bugs, or cold
air conditioning. I am not an overly adventurous person, but
I do like to live a little and I like
for my house to be cold. He's constantly swatting away
(01:30):
small flying bugs, and he accidentally swiped me across the
nose really hard. I don't get it. Even when we're intimate.
It's a problem. He's really robotic, and he likes to
call me a take charge kind of woman, but I
don't want to be in control in the bedroom. He
says he likes to see what I can do, but heck,
I want to see what he can do. He has
the right tools to excel at it, but for some
(01:52):
reason he's holding back. He told me that he prefers
to keep his pace. It's too slow for me. I
am so sick of hearing about things he doesn't like.
There are things I don't like, but I compromised with him.
My picking skills are bad so please help me. It
is best to keep an open mind and compromise to
keep him Is it best to keep an open mind
(02:15):
and compromise to keep him happy? Or is it time
to put this man in the friend zone? You move fast,
don't you. It depends on what you want. I mean,
I think you're rushing things. Your picking skills are bad
because you don't give yourself time after a breakup. You
just got out of a relationship, a ten year relationship.
(02:35):
You didn't give your chance, yourself a chance to breathe,
and most importantly, you didn't give yourself time to reflect
on the breakup so you can learn what happened, learn
about yourself. You were in it for ten years. One
thing you did get right is that relationships are about compromise.
You guys don't have to like all the same things
your individuals. You like roller coasters, you like spicy foods,
(02:56):
water slides and all that. He doesn't like that. That's okay,
it's okay. You know you're the only one in the
relationship trying to compromise, so that can be a problem.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I think you need to take time out to be
with just you so you can figure out what you
really want. I mean, this guy may not be the
guy for you after all, because I don't think this
is it. You have way too many complaints about this guy, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
This is a letter that this woman wrote, the letter
that doesn't really understand how to be in a relationship.
I don't know what you're looking for, but you seem
to be overlooking some great qualities and you offended by
some really small qualities. So let me show you what
I mean. Twenty seven year old female got out of
(03:47):
a ten year relationship that was going nowhere. So you've
been with somebody since you was seventeen, so obviously you
don't know much about because you was in a relationship
that was going nowhere. So that's your example of a relationship.
You got ten years of that, and most of that
you really weren't that big of an adult to begin with.
(04:07):
So just you really just now should be trying to
find yourself. I recommend highly that you spend some time
alone because you need to get to know yourself, because
I don't understand the letter. You're dating this twenty two
year old guy that pursued you for years. He was
there for you after the breakup, so you got used
(04:29):
to him being around. See that, I want to get
your advice before I fall for the room. He works
as a manager of two movie theaters and he runs
his mobile detailing business on the side. You, ma'am, are
dating a hustler, a hard working hustler. The man run
two movie theaters and he has a mobile detailing business
(04:52):
on the side. This brother trying to come up. He
putting it in. That's what you want to find in
a man. He's also a really good cook, another great,
great quality. But I can't get him to cook anything spicy.
That's a red flag. What wait a minute. He's a
really good cook, but you can't get him to cook
(05:13):
nothing spicy.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So that's a red flag.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Because I'm from the South and we love a little
heat on our food.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
No we don't. I'm from the country.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't like how to ask food not spicy.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
So you trip it because the man is a great cook,
but you can't get him to make nothing spicy. Get
you some crunched pepper flakes, some pepper and some hot
sauce on the table, and when he cooked, spice it
up all you want. They got tabasco, They got all
kinds of stuff. You can make this thing spicy as
you want. What's wrong with you? I can deal with
(05:51):
him not liking spicy foods, But there are some other
things I love that he hates. He can't tolerate scary movies.
I don't go to Note Down ever, since it's the Exorcist.
I ain't went to a scared movie since I don't
do scared movies. I don't understand it. Roller coasters. I
don't ride no damn roller coaster. I don't like water
slides for what I case well, and when I go
(06:13):
down the slide, it throw you into too much damn water.
I don't do water slides. He don't like bugs or
cold air conditioning. I don't like cold air conditioning neither.
Now I kill all the bugs that's in my house.
I'm not running from a bug. But you didn't pay
no rent. You're not staying here, So now you gonna
(06:35):
stop dating a man cause a that girl. Bye, al bye.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Hang on Seve. We'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's
Strawberry letter subject my boyfriend can't tolerate much. We'll get
back into it right after this you're listening morning show.
All right, come on, Seve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
My boyfriend can't tolerate.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
This sister right here has been in a ten year
relationship that she got out of going nowhere. So she's
in a relationship from seventeen to twenty seven. So you
haven't even You don't even know yourself yet. You are
just now at the age of learning who you are.
I suggest this woman spend some time alone. But she's
dating the guy that pursued her for years after she
broke up. He was therefore, she got used to him,
(07:21):
so now she's dating him. There's a lot of stuff
she don't like about him. You know, he's a manager
at two movie theaters. He runs his mobile detailing business
on the side. I think he's a great guy. Think
he's a hustler. He's also a really good cook, but
I can't get him to cook anything spicy. So that's
a red flag. Lady, by give me the man that's
a really good cook. Now you got a problem with
(07:41):
him because y'all from the South, and y'all like heat
on your food, and you can't get him cook none spicy.
Get your ass a bottle of franks, some bulls eyes,
some trappies, get your ass, some tabasco, get your ass,
some red crushed pepper flakes and put it on the
table with some pepper. And then when he make his food,
you can make your spicies. You want a spicy but
he a good cook. You can't get nothing spicy. So
that's a red flag for you. I can deal with
(08:04):
him not liking spider, but it's some other things I
love and he hate. He can't tolerate scary movie me either.
I don't even watch scary movies. When I watch horror movies,
I don't like him no more.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
What on?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I don't like it, and I'm not scared. I just
don't like for what he don't like roller coasters me either.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I don't go ride on nothing. All my money fall
out of my pocket. Time for that.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Water slides? What's at the end of the water slide?
Some more damn water. I'm already struggling on this slide.
Now you're gonna throw me into a pool of water.
I don't swim that good.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't like no.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Damn water slide. He don't like bugs. I kill every
bub that in my house. I let nothing live, and
he don't like cold air condition. Marjorie and her mama
love that house cold. I be walking around with a
hoodie on all kinds of stuff. When she ain't looking,
I cut it up. I am not an overly and
(08:57):
I'm not an overly adventurous person, but I do like
a little, uh live a little, and I like for
my house to be cold. He constantly swatting away small
flying bugs, and he accidentally hits you on the face
real hard. I don't get it, even when when I
hear the problem though, even when he intimate it's a problem.
He's really robotic, and he likes to call me a
(09:18):
take charge kind of woman, but I don't want to
be in control in the bedroom. He said he likes
to see what I can do, but heck, I want
to see what he could do. Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
I understand that he says he likes I want to
see what he can do. He has the right tools
to excel at it, but for some reason, he hold
him back. So obviously, you're not complaining about nothing. He
just robots. He got everything he needs. Why are you complaining?
(09:42):
She got you know, show him what you want and
then see if y'all can't work through it. He said
he liked to keep his pace. It's too slow for me.
See you too much. You was with that dude for
ten years. Y'all in here like two bunny rabbits. Now
you've met a man that's robotic. That might be a
better way to do it, but you're in when you
the energize of bunny when you were there, did you.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Got gott got? Well? Okay, don't nobody going all that?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
What's that noise?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
What's that saying?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You're here?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
That's like a little baby jackhammer? Don't nobody want all that?
Damn it slowed down. I am so sick of.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Hearing about things he don't like.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Well, if he's a complainer, yes, but if he just
doesn't see eye to eye when you on a couple
of things, like Shirley said, there is a compromise.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
He don't like scary movies. Okay, you go to scared movies.
Let him watch. What do you want to watch? You
know he ain't got it good.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
You like spicy food, put our sauce on yours. You
don't like roller coasters, go by yourself. He don't like water, slides.
He don't want to go down now go to the beach.
Damn anyway. Things I don't like, but I'm but I
compromised with him. My picking skills are so bad you
(11:01):
or you ain't picked for one, so please help me.
Is it best to keep an open mind and compromise
to keep him happy? Or is it time to put
this man in the friends on?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Lady?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I think it's time for you to find yourself, discover
who you really are. You need to spend some time
with yourself because all you do is you want to
be with somebody. You was in a relationship for ten years.
Now you're gonna jump into another one. Why don't you
stay by yourself sometimes, discover what you want and then
learn how to be in a relationship, because all you're
gonna do, same thing gonna happen. You want your cold
(11:32):
house cold, You like bugs flying around, You want to
ride a roller coasty? Your ass got to go down
the water slide. I like hot ass food. Well you're
gonna be eating by your damn self.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Carrie movie.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Everybody sitting up in here, so you wanna watch some
scary movies?
Speaker 3 (11:51):
We get two TVs going in there, go on there
and holler your ass off if you want to.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I'm watching it ain't so. This man can really cook,
real good. He could work.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
He run two movie theaters, and he got a mobile
detail cut and you're gonna throw him away.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And he a really good cook.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
He don't treat you wrong, and he take his time
when he's in the bedroom. Well, going back and get
Jack Flash, the dude you used to date. But obviously
he had a much faster pace. And that's what y'all got.
But Jack flatting. But now y'all ain't together no more?
You in here, you know, so see a lot of
(12:35):
times you got to remember why you broke up with
the person you broke up with. He made a little
real fast. He probably couldn't cook now, y'all on the
roller coaster, holland, but y'all can't stand each other, lady.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
All right, Steve, thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
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