September 12, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My boyfriend and I are on shaky ground because he thinks I'm cheating. He's the one whose phone rings all night long? So why is he so paranoid about me? Whenever I go out without him, he calls me repeatedly. He'll even ask me to FaceTime him so he can see where I am. He thinks he's slick, but it makes me think he could be cheating on me. The thing is, I do not care because if he is, it will come out eventually. He's suspicious about everything thing I do, and now he's questioning me before, during, and after sex..........................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And if you need.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARBFM dot com and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter, okay,
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is Strawberry Letter, all right, and if
you thank you. Subject he has so many questions. Dear
Stephen Shirley, my boyfriend and I are on shaky ground
because he thinks I'm cheating. He's the one whose phone
rings all night long? So why is he so paranoid
about me? Whenever I go out without him, he calls
(00:43):
me repeatedly. He'll even ask me to FaceTime him so
he can see where I am. He thinks he's slick,
but it makes me think he could be cheating on me.
The thing is, I do not care because if he is,
it will come out eventually. He's suspicious about everything thing
I do, and now he's questioning me before, during, and
(01:04):
after sex. The last time I saw him, it was
late and I was about to go to bed. He
asked why I didn't take a shower with him, and
I told him he's always welcome to join me. He
said I was hiding my body from him, so I
got naked in front of him to shut him up.
Then I kissed him on the neck and he said
I've never kissed him in that spot before. He asked
(01:27):
me who taught me to do that. I almost told
him I was leaving right then and there, but I stayed,
and during our intimate moment, he stopped to ask me
if I would ever give myself to anyone else. I
was so thrown off and it ruined the moment. We
got back into the swing of things and he asked
if I was his for the rest of our lives.
(01:49):
I told him I was just trying to get through
what we were doing at the moment. He got mad
and he got up and went to the bathroom. I
was dressed and headed out. When he came out of
the bathroom, he asked if I was going home or
to another guy's house. I ignored him. He texted me
to see if I made it home, and I ignored him.
(02:10):
He tried to FaceTime me and I ignored him. I
haven't texted or talked to him in three days. What's
with all the questions? Well, you said it at the
top of your letter. I mean, he's the one whose
phone is ringing all night long. And I'm not saying
he's cheating, and neither are you. But a lot of times,
you know, when people act this suspicious checking up on
(02:32):
you all the time, wanting to see where you are,
FaceTime me, let me see where you are, it's because
they could be doing something themselves. He's real petty too, huh,
asking you questions like why why aren't you taking a
shower with me? Why are you kissing me on my
neck like this? Who taught you to do that? He's
stopping love making, He's stopping down to ask you about
(02:55):
someone else. He asked if you were going to see
another man? Well, could you blame him or could he
blame you? I should say if you did go to
another man. At this point, it's just too much, all
these questions, all this nagging and stuff. He couldn't be
this insecure. Come on, now, this man is not even
your husband at this point, answer his call the next
time he phoned you and talk to him about what's
(03:17):
on your mind, just like you wrote us this letter.
This cannot continue. This is nerve wracking. Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well what, Steve? I knew a guy like this once.
I knew a guy like this once, but it was
because he was dating this woman who was completely out
of his league. I mean really, I have known the
(03:47):
guy for years. I met the girl with him, and
I couldn't believe it. I was like, Wow, my man,
what did you say to get this girl? I couldn't
understand it because I know for a fact he don't
have a game. I've talked with him. He's always been
the one of us who is like the least the
(04:08):
left behind you. But this dude, he came in with
a with a star and boil. Let me tell you something.
It didn't last long because he wore her out the
same way this dude is doing right here. So it
could be that you are out of his league. But
I mean, I've most guys date up. I've never you know,
(04:34):
you ever know? You always see a woman and go
what the hell is she doing with him? You always
do that, And when you see a guy, you say, wow,
how the hell he get her? It's always a woman
who appears to be more. You know. I'm like, I'll
give you an example. A rich man will marry and
(04:56):
take care of a poor woman, but you'll very rarely
see a rich woman marry and take care of a
pole man. It just don't really work out there. We
don't mind being the night and shining off or the
cavalry to come over the hill. Women ain't finna do that.
(05:17):
I ain't finna get with you and change your life, partner.
So you got the ying and the yang here. So
I'm going a long way around to talk about the
different types of men that I know. Now in this
letter right here, I have a different twist on it.
Oh yeah, because I think she is fine. But the
(05:38):
way he's asking these questions, you know, see, like even
if you think a woman out your leak, if she
kiss you on your neck, why you learn how to
kiss from like that? You ain't never kissed me? Now,
we just we ain't been together that long. So much stuff,
it's way more stuff we ain't done. Hell you talking
about you lick my teeth? Where you get that move from?
Steve said it on the radio.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You better throw yourself in it.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
What is you doing in here with all this baby
or damn it? Steve said it on the radio. You
know you pick up things. When I come back, though,
I will tell you what I really think is going
on with this band here.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I know I'm right.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I have no chance of being wrong because I'm an expert,
an expert at manhood.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Okay, all right, we want to hear it, Sank. We'll
have part two of your response coming up at twenty
three minutes after the hour today Strawberry letter, subject he
has so many questions. Lord, we'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening morning show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is he has
(06:55):
so many questions?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, listen. I talked about the types of men. This
could be, I said in this letter. It could be
because he's dating a woman that's out of his league.
I know a guy like that, but he's asking the
wrong questions if she's out his league. You know, you
know why you don't never take a shower with me? Hey,
you can join in with me anytime. Why you don't
(07:19):
never take your clothes off in front of me? So
she stripped naked. Then she kissed him on his neck?
Who taught you how to kiss on the neck like that?
You ain't never kissed me in that spot before? Well
she didn have miss most of the spots on your body.
I'm just telling that right now, so okay, so let's
stop that out there. Then then he asked me, who
taught you how to do that? I told him I
(07:40):
was leaving right there. Then y'all got meant intimate, and
I was thrown off because he asked me, would you
what I ever give myself to anyone else in the
middle of it. I was so thrown off that it
ruined the moment we got back into the swing of things.
He asked me if I was his for the rest
of our lives? Boy, were dating? Damn it? I don't no.
(08:01):
I told him I was just trying to get through
what we was doing at the moment. He got mad,
got up, went to the bathroom and see, look, look
this mind. Look I'm just trying to get through with this,
all this talking, and what you doing ain't measuring up
with the talking, though you do it, You're talking and
you ain't delivering, And I'm just tired. So she got
(08:24):
dressed and was headed out then he asked if I
was going home or to another guy's house. I ignored him.
He texted me to see if I made it home.
I ignored him. He tried to FaceTime me. I ignored him.
I ain't text him or talk to him in three days.
What's with all the questions? Well, here's my conclusion with
this letter. It ain't you out of his league because
(08:47):
you ain't heard from him in three days. This is
the gap he needed. This is the gap he needed.
Let me explain something to you. My brother taught this
to me when I was eighteen years old. I had
made a mistake one time, trying to be a player.
I went to this department store at Christmas and make company,
(09:10):
and I was buying this girl a Turkoseh, a little bracelet. Well,
you know at Christmas time they have all that stuff
in the middle of the floor where if you buy one,
you get one free. So I bought two, who cost
me about seventeen dollars. I got two Turkoseh bracelets, and
(09:31):
I bought one for each one of these girls. Put
them in the box, and I put a note in
their name in each box. Problem was I put the
wrong name in each box, and I gave each girl
the other girl's a box. I'm seventeen eighteen at this point,
(09:54):
a freshman in college. All when they opened up them boxes, God,
who is so? Then my brother taught me a valuable lesson,
and I think this is what's happening in this note.
I called my brother. I said, Brother, what I'm gonna do?
(10:15):
He said, well, you messed up, he said, but I'm
gonna buy you about forty eight hours. He said, what
you could. What I want you to do is call
them and accuse them of being messy, and you don't
want to have nothing to do with them, and you
don't appreciate them being unappreciative, and you tried to do
the best you can for them, and you don't have
(10:36):
a lot of money, and just talk to the one
girl at the time, just like that. So I made
the two phone calls and it worked. It threw them
off balance. They didn't know because they're young too. Now
these ain't no forty year old women, so they young too,
so they the little throwed off balance. My brother taught
me something that day. He said, the best defense is
(10:57):
a good offense. What that means is you gotta stay
on our fence and make them defensive, he said. Now
that's only gonna work for a little while. And I
believe that is what has happened in this letter right here?
What he playing all our office, making her play defense.
You don't show me your clothes while you getting naked,
(11:19):
while you don't never shower with me? Who taught you
to kiss on the spot like that? While you're always
doing that? Who you calling where you at? FaceTime?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Me?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
How come I don't believe you where you at? Or
you would you go over another guy's guy? Is this
mind for the rest of my life? How does it feel?
All this here? He playing offense? He playing offense. My
advice to you, young sister, because you young, because ain't
no grown woman to do this here listen to me
(11:47):
going about your business. You have not said one redeeming
quality that this man has except he your boyfriend, that's all.
He don't treat you good. He don't do nothing for you.
He just questioned you and accuse you. Now you've ignored him,
(12:08):
and you ain't talked to him for three days, but
he ain't. Now has he been texting you and calling
you for three days? Or have y'all just not spoken.
If it's all right for him not to see or
hear from you for three days, you ain't got nothing,
no way, it's no way you can care about a
woman and not hear or talk to her for three days. Boy,
(12:29):
you know how much how many times you gonna call her?
In the words of Thomas Miles, if you don't have
eight hundred missed calls, twelve hundred messages, he don't care.
He don't care.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
All right, post your comments. He's just playing Today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
This is your get out.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Run at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Free never sounded so good, you should download it today now.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we
got Junior and Sports talk right after this. You're listening
shots Dave Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And if you need.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARBFM dot com and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter, okay,
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is Strawberry Letter, all right, and if
you thank you. Subject he has so many questions. Dear
Stephen Shirley, my boyfriend and I are on shaky ground
because he thinks I'm cheating. He's the one whose phone
rings all night long? So why is he so paranoid
about me? Whenever I go out without him, he calls
(00:43):
me repeatedly. He'll even ask me to FaceTime him so
he can see where I am. He thinks he's slick,
but it makes me think he could be cheating on me.
The thing is, I do not care because if he is,
it will come out eventually. He's suspicious about everything thing
I do, and now he's questioning me before, during, and
(01:04):
after sex. The last time I saw him, it was
late and I was about to go to bed. He
asked why I didn't take a shower with him, and
I told him he's always welcome to join me. He
said I was hiding my body from him, so I
got naked in front of him to shut him up.
Then I kissed him on the neck and he said
I've never kissed him in that spot before. He asked
(01:27):
me who taught me to do that. I almost told
him I was leaving right then and there, but I stayed,
and during our intimate moment, he stopped to ask me
if I would ever give myself to anyone else. I
was so thrown off and it ruined the moment. We
got back into the swing of things and he asked
if I was his for the rest of our lives.
(01:49):
I told him I was just trying to get through
what we were doing at the moment. He got mad
and he got up and went to the bathroom. I
was dressed and headed out. When he came out of
the bathroom, he asked if I was going home or
to another guy's house. I ignored him. He texted me
to see if I made it home, and I ignored him.
(02:10):
He tried to FaceTime me and I ignored him. I
haven't texted or talked to him in three days. What's
with all the questions? Well, you said it at the
top of your letter. I mean, he's the one whose
phone is ringing all night long. And I'm not saying
he's cheating, and neither are you. But a lot of times,
you know, when people act this suspicious checking up on
(02:32):
you all the time, wanting to see where you are,
FaceTime me, let me see where you are, it's because
they could be doing something themselves. He's real petty too, huh,
asking you questions like why why aren't you taking a
shower with me? Why are you kissing me on my
neck like this? Who taught you to do that? He's
stopping love making, He's stopping down to ask you about
(02:55):
someone else. He asked if you were going to see
another man? Well, could you blame him or could he
blame you? I should say if you did go to
another man. At this point, it's just too much, all
these questions, all this nagging and stuff. He couldn't be
this insecure. Come on, now, this man is not even
your husband at this point, answer his call the next
time he phoned you and talk to him about what's
(03:17):
on your mind, just like you wrote us this letter.
This cannot continue. This is nerve wracking. Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well what, Steve? I knew a guy like this once.
I knew a guy like this once, but it was
because he was dating this woman who was completely out
of his league. I mean really, I have known the
(03:47):
guy for years. I met the girl with him, and
I couldn't believe it. I was like, Wow, my man,
what did you say to get this girl? I couldn't
understand it because I know for a fact he don't
have a game. I've talked with him. He's always been
the one of us who is like the least the
(04:08):
left behind you. But this dude, he came in with
a with a star and boil. Let me tell you something.
It didn't last long because he wore her out the
same way this dude is doing right here. So it
could be that you are out of his league. But
I mean, I've most guys date up. I've never you know,
(04:34):
you ever know? You always see a woman and go
what the hell is she doing with him? You always
do that, And when you see a guy, you say, wow,
how the hell he get her? It's always a woman
who appears to be more. You know. I'm like, I'll
give you an example. A rich man will marry and
(04:56):
take care of a poor woman, but you'll very rarely
see a rich woman marry and take care of a
pole man. It just don't really work out there. We
don't mind being the night and shining off or the
cavalry to come over the hill. Women ain't finna do that.
(05:17):
I ain't finna get with you and change your life, partner.
So you got the ying and the yang here. So
I'm going a long way around to talk about the
different types of men that I know. Now in this
letter right here, I have a different twist on it.
Oh yeah, because I think she is fine. But the
(05:38):
way he's asking these questions, you know, see, like even
if you think a woman out your leak, if she
kiss you on your neck, why you learn how to
kiss from like that? You ain't never kissed me? Now,
we just we ain't been together that long. So much stuff,
it's way more stuff we ain't done. Hell you talking
about you lick my teeth? Where you get that move from?
Steve said it on the radio.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You better throw yourself in it.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
What is you doing in here with all this baby
or damn it? Steve said it on the radio. You
know you pick up things. When I come back, though,
I will tell you what I really think is going
on with this band here.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
I know I'm right.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I have no chance of being wrong because I'm an expert,
an expert at manhood.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Okay, all right, we want to hear it, Sank. We'll
have part two of your response coming up at twenty
three minutes after the hour today Strawberry letter, subject he
has so many questions. Lord, we'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening morning show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is he has
(06:55):
so many questions?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, listen. I talked about the types of men. This
could be, I said in this letter. It could be
because he's dating a woman that's out of his league.
I know a guy like that, but he's asking the
wrong questions if she's out his league. You know, you
know why you don't never take a shower with me? Hey,
you can join in with me anytime. Why you don't
(07:19):
never take your clothes off in front of me? So
she stripped naked. Then she kissed him on his neck?
Who taught you how to kiss on the neck like that?
You ain't never kissed me in that spot before? Well
she didn have miss most of the spots on your body.
I'm just telling that right now, so okay, so let's
stop that out there. Then then he asked me, who
taught you how to do that? I told him I
(07:40):
was leaving right there. Then y'all got meant intimate, and
I was thrown off because he asked me, would you
what I ever give myself to anyone else in the
middle of it. I was so thrown off that it
ruined the moment we got back into the swing of things.
He asked me if I was his for the rest
of our lives? Boy, were dating? Damn it? I don't no.
(08:01):
I told him I was just trying to get through
what we was doing at the moment. He got mad,
got up, went to the bathroom and see, look, look
this mind. Look I'm just trying to get through with this,
all this talking, and what you doing ain't measuring up
with the talking, though you do it, You're talking and
you ain't delivering, And I'm just tired. So she got
(08:24):
dressed and was headed out then he asked if I
was going home or to another guy's house. I ignored him.
He texted me to see if I made it home.
I ignored him. He tried to FaceTime me. I ignored him.
I ain't text him or talk to him in three days.
What's with all the questions? Well, here's my conclusion with
this letter. It ain't you out of his league because
(08:47):
you ain't heard from him in three days. This is
the gap he needed. This is the gap he needed.
Let me explain something to you. My brother taught this
to me when I was eighteen years old. I had
made a mistake one time, trying to be a player.
I went to this department store at Christmas and make company,
(09:10):
and I was buying this girl a Turkoseh, a little bracelet. Well,
you know at Christmas time they have all that stuff
in the middle of the floor where if you buy one,
you get one free. So I bought two, who cost
me about seventeen dollars. I got two Turkoseh bracelets, and
(09:31):
I bought one for each one of these girls. Put
them in the box, and I put a note in
their name in each box. Problem was I put the
wrong name in each box, and I gave each girl
the other girl's a box. I'm seventeen eighteen at this point,
(09:54):
a freshman in college. All when they opened up them boxes, God,
who is so? Then my brother taught me a valuable lesson,
and I think this is what's happening in this note.
I called my brother. I said, Brother, what I'm gonna do?
(10:15):
He said, well, you messed up, he said, but I'm
gonna buy you about forty eight hours. He said, what
you could. What I want you to do is call
them and accuse them of being messy, and you don't
want to have nothing to do with them, and you
don't appreciate them being unappreciative, and you tried to do
the best you can for them, and you don't have
(10:36):
a lot of money, and just talk to the one
girl at the time, just like that. So I made
the two phone calls and it worked. It threw them
off balance. They didn't know because they're young too. Now
these ain't no forty year old women, so they young too,
so they the little throwed off balance. My brother taught
me something that day. He said, the best defense is
(10:57):
a good offense. What that means is you gotta stay
on our fence and make them defensive, he said. Now
that's only gonna work for a little while. And I
believe that is what has happened in this letter right here?
What he playing all our office, making her play defense.
You don't show me your clothes while you getting naked,
(11:19):
while you don't never shower with me? Who taught you
to kiss on the spot like that? While you're always
doing that? Who you calling where you at? FaceTime?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Me?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
How come I don't believe you where you at? Or
you would you go over another guy's guy? Is this
mind for the rest of my life? How does it feel?
All this here? He playing offense? He playing offense. My
advice to you, young sister, because you young, because ain't
no grown woman to do this here listen to me
(11:47):
going about your business. You have not said one redeeming
quality that this man has except he your boyfriend, that's all.
He don't treat you good. He don't do nothing for you.
He just questioned you and accuse you. Now you've ignored him,
(12:08):
and you ain't talked to him for three days, but
he ain't. Now has he been texting you and calling
you for three days? Or have y'all just not spoken.
If it's all right for him not to see or
hear from you for three days, you ain't got nothing,
no way, it's no way you can care about a
woman and not hear or talk to her for three days. Boy,
(12:29):
you know how much how many times you gonna call her?
In the words of Thomas Miles, if you don't have
eight hundred missed calls, twelve hundred messages, he don't care.
He don't care.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
All right, post your comments. He's just playing Today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
This is your get out.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Run at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Free never sounded so good, you should download it today now.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we
got Junior and Sports talk right after this. You're listening
shots Dave Harvey Morning Show
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