April 9, 2025 • 13 mins
Strawberry Letter for Wednesday, April 9th, 2025: Nothing Has Changed Since She Got Her Ring
"Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m about to marry an intense woman and she stays lit, meaning she doesn’t know when enough is enough. It was fun when we first met and we were out every night or we’d take a limo ride to Chicago for dinner and have sex in the limo on our way home. She would shop all day and get me as many nice things as she bought herself. We have a lot of money between us so it was not an issue. I did a big thing and bought a big ring and decided to settle down. We’re both 41 so it’s time to stop kicking it and get serious about marriage..."
Listen to hear the rest of the letter and Steve & Shirley's responses!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right now, right now, right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Yours, right now, right now, right now, hold on time.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. Nothing has changed since
she got her ring. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm about to
marry an intense woman and she stays lit, meaning she
doesn't know when enough is enough. It was fun when
we first met and we were out every night, or
we'd take a limo ride to Chicago for dinner and
have sex and a limo on our way home. She
(00:49):
would shop all day and get me as many nice
things as she bought herself. We have a lot of
money between us, so it was not an issue. I
did a big thing and I bought a big ring
and decided to settle down. We're both forty one, so
it's time to stop kicking it and get serious about marriage.
We bought a house together and I let her furnish
(01:10):
it when we still didn't have furniture. Three months later,
I asked her what's up. She said, it's being shipped
from overseas. I told her that was a bit excessive,
and she argued that she's not settling for less when
it comes to any part of her life. I should
have taken that as a warning, but I kept letting
her spend a lot of money, and I started paying
(01:31):
all of the bills. She planned a very extravagant housewarming
party and I picked up the check. Since I gave
her that ring, I've become her personal banker. I'm a
real man and I want to be a provider, but
it's too much for me because I'm a saver, not
a spender. I also have to work hard and cannot
have sex all day and night on demand. At my age.
(01:55):
I'm exhausted and i can't have sex twice a night
like we used to. I'm worn out in more ways
than one. To make matters worse, her sister is coming
to visit, and she already has a car service booked
for each day so they can run the streets at
my expense. My wife works, but she never pulls out
her credit card? Would I be wrong to ask her
(02:16):
to cut back a bit or at least discussed major
discuss major money moves with me. First, No, it's not
wrong for you to ask her to cut back and
to discuss major money moves with you. You guys should be
able to discuss anything. But the question is why haven't
you already discussed this? This is a you problem all
the way through this letter, because why are you expecting
(02:38):
her to change when she's been like this since day one?
You used to participate with her in this. This is
who she is, you wrote to Steve, and I like,
you know there's something we can say to you to
make her change. You said it yourself. She's intent. She
stays lit, meaning she doesn't know when enough is enough.
These are your words. What did you do with that?
(03:01):
You went out and butt her a big ring, saying
it's time to settle down and get serious about marriage.
It sounds like you're the only one that's serious about
marriage in this situation. She obviously didn't get the memo
because nothing she has done is out of character and
you can't change her again. This is who she is
you've changed though here you are just forty one saying
(03:24):
you're exhausted and worn out. I think you guys need
to reevaluate your relationship because you two are on two
different pages. You're on two different stages in life, and
it's not gonna work like this. You guys have to
talk and try to work this out if you can.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Steve, yeah, dog, you got a problem now.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I don't really know how you gonna handle this because
there's a lot of information in here we don't have,
but the stuff you've given us, it's not looking good.
This just leads me to one thing that somebody told
me one time about marriage. When you get married, the
only thing that will change between the two of you
(04:06):
is the appearance of your left hand, third finger. Whatever
is going on, Whatever is going on, it's you know,
it's it's going to continue, and it's only going to
get worse. How you haven't had budget talks by now
(04:32):
it's beyond me. But now it's here. Now really has
been passed.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Though. I'm just gonna be honest with you this.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I don't know what y'all was doing in the beginning,
Spending whatever you want to spend how you want to
spend going to dinner in Chicago, getting a limo, having
sex in the car on the way home.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Well, y'all make it now you hear what he hear?
Where you sound a little confusing to me?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
We have a lot of money between us, so it's
not an issue. Okay, Then why I say issue? See,
I don't care who you are. And let me be clear,
this whole lot of money do like you want too.
I don't know a lot of people can do that. Man,
(05:16):
I don't know a lot of people can do that.
And I know a few billionaires and I've actually been
in the room with them and they're going, Man, my
wife tripping, And I'm sitting here, going, your wife's tripping,
and I'm thinking they're talking about some infidelity. Man, she's
spent too much money. And that's always interesting to me
(05:39):
because you have billions. But guess what, I don't care
who you are. You could do too much. And guess what,
y'all don't done too much. Even major corporations who are
worth hundreds of billions of dollars, guess what they have budgets.
(06:00):
Each department has a certain amount that they have to
stay with. Then every small company should have budgets. Every
marriage should have budgets, and any relationship should have budgets.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Y'all ain't got none, So here we go. I guess
I'll come.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Back on the next half tell you what's fitting to
happen to you, But it already is, cause yeah, I
don't think y'all really got as much money as y'all
thought y'all had. But now this call service is finna throw.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You into so yes, all right, we'll have part two
of your response Steve coming up at twenty three minutes
after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject nothing has changed
since she got her ring. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Hey, it's Carla Farroll. Kick that old mopping aside. Are
you ready for a mop and bucket clean and half
the time? Make the swap to swifter power mop the
only one. Cleaning Hero has a built in solution that
breaks down dirt and grime like magic. With hundreds of
scrubbing strips on the pad, it absorbs sticky messes with ease.
Plus it'll leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
(07:20):
Get yours today and mop smarter with the swiffer power mop.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is nothing has changed since she got her ring.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Nothing has changed. These women and this man been dating
each other. They both forty one. He says, I'm about
to marry an intense woman and she stays lit. At
first I thought she meant she stay high, but that
the form of lit he's talked about in this letter
is just she just she keep it on tilt, she spinned,
(07:58):
she shopped. Whatever she do is at the higher end
of it. She's extreme. She's extreme. I think it's the
best way to say it. We first met, we were
out every night, take trips in the limo ride Chicago,
have sex and the limb on the way home. She
shop all day, give me as many nice things she
bought herself. We have a lot of money between us,
(08:21):
so it's not an issue. Okay, Then the whole rest
of this letter is about money and the problems they have. Okay,
I did a big thing. I bought a big ring,
decided to settle down. We bought a house together. Man,
You balling y'all about.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
A ring at the house. Same year.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
And when we still didn't have furniture. Three months later,
I asked her, what's up. She said, it's being shipped
from overseas. I told her, well, that's a big excessive.
She augus, she ain't selling for less when it comes
to any part of her I should have taken that
as a warning, but I kept letting her spend a
(09:05):
lot of money, and I started paying all the bills.
Then she played an extravagant house woman party and you
picked up the check.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Now, bruh, say, ever since I gave her that ring.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I'm a real man and I want to be a provider,
but it's too much for me because I'm a saverer,
not a spender. Well, bro, we got a problem because
she's not a saver. She's a spender, Okay. And then
he talked about I gotta work hard all day and
I can't have sex all day and on the man, Okay,
(09:43):
hold Dak, is she working cause y'all said it was
a lot of money between y'all, Yeah, she works, work
were and as what?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
He didn't say that? He said, my wife works, but
she never pulls out her credit card.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
At the end.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Anyway, I'm worn out in more ways in one now
her sister coming to visit, and she already got a
car service book for every day.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So they can run the streets.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
At my experience seeg minute ago, we have lots of
money between us, so money is not an issue. But
the whole letter is about money issues. My wife works,
but she never pulls out her credit card. Would I
be wrong to ask her to cut back a bit
(10:32):
or at least discuss major money moves with me?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Pray should have been there. This sound to me like
you a whole lot.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Of money too late, But then she'd told you she
ain't cutting back in no area of her life. So
prepare yourself, brother, not to have nothing. Yeah that's where
you heard at homie. Yeah, you're about to have a
whole lot of nothing. And y'all keep talking about them
credit cards. All you Finnah have is some debt. You
(11:03):
fin have credit card debt. So broh, I don't know
what to tell you. Man. If y'all don't put a
budget to the spending, you're not gonna have it for long.
And you're forty one, and the older you get you
don't increase your spending. You should be working on increasing
your assets. But right now here y'all spending money on
(11:23):
a lot of liabilities.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Say that again, Steve that what you said.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
The older you get, well older get you need to
be accumulating assets and not liabilities. You have to come
up with stuff. A home is a to me. I've
hearn a grant card that owning. Several people say lately
owning a home is the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I'm sorry. I like owning my house. I just do.
It might be the stupidest thing.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It might be some tax advantages to get in the
house and living in it rent and.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
All like that, but I want my house.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I want to be able to say to somebody, get
out of my house. I don't want nobody coming in.
And I like the house. Now he's telling me we're
gonna sell it, We're gonna need you to move get out.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
So I've heard all of this.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I'm gonna have to pull a grant to the side
and talk to him.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But I'm not finn to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And Bruhn, I don't know where you're at, man, I don't.
I just don't know where you're at. So good luck
with it. I wish you the best. Sounds horrible to me, Well, brother,
(12:44):
y'all getting married. Now you seem like you, deep in
you do love the girl. But y'all gotta work this out.
If either y'all worked this out or it's gonna work
you out. But you can't keep spending like this for
help it don't that ain't hard. Well, you're about ringing
the house and to save me and a sistant tell
me the coll service, coll service gonna crack you.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That means you don't have a lot of money. Okay,
let's stop this.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well, why did he say that though we have a
lot of money between us?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Because he reflecting he hadn't finished the letter.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Surely you know when you start typing, you got a
beginning of middle in the end. He forgot that the
middle of the end was going to gate the beginning.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Bad storytellers. What he is?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Maybe his idea of a lot of money? Yeah, all right,
thank you, Steve. Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey Fm, and check
us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right now, right now, right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It could be.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Yours, right now, right now, right now, hold on time.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. Nothing has changed since
she got her ring. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm about to
marry an intense woman and she stays lit, meaning she
doesn't know when enough is enough. It was fun when
we first met and we were out every night, or
we'd take a limo ride to Chicago for dinner and
have sex and a limo on our way home. She
(00:49):
would shop all day and get me as many nice
things as she bought herself. We have a lot of
money between us, so it was not an issue. I
did a big thing and I bought a big ring
and decided to settle down. We're both forty one, so
it's time to stop kicking it and get serious about marriage.
We bought a house together and I let her furnish
(01:10):
it when we still didn't have furniture. Three months later,
I asked her what's up. She said, it's being shipped
from overseas. I told her that was a bit excessive,
and she argued that she's not settling for less when
it comes to any part of her life. I should
have taken that as a warning, but I kept letting
her spend a lot of money, and I started paying
(01:31):
all of the bills. She planned a very extravagant housewarming
party and I picked up the check. Since I gave
her that ring, I've become her personal banker. I'm a
real man and I want to be a provider, but
it's too much for me because I'm a saver, not
a spender. I also have to work hard and cannot
have sex all day and night on demand. At my age.
(01:55):
I'm exhausted and i can't have sex twice a night
like we used to. I'm worn out in more ways
than one. To make matters worse, her sister is coming
to visit, and she already has a car service booked
for each day so they can run the streets at
my expense. My wife works, but she never pulls out
her credit card? Would I be wrong to ask her
(02:16):
to cut back a bit or at least discussed major
discuss major money moves with me. First, No, it's not
wrong for you to ask her to cut back and
to discuss major money moves with you. You guys should be
able to discuss anything. But the question is why haven't
you already discussed this? This is a you problem all
the way through this letter, because why are you expecting
(02:38):
her to change when she's been like this since day one?
You used to participate with her in this. This is
who she is, you wrote to Steve, and I like,
you know there's something we can say to you to
make her change. You said it yourself. She's intent. She
stays lit, meaning she doesn't know when enough is enough.
These are your words. What did you do with that?
(03:01):
You went out and butt her a big ring, saying
it's time to settle down and get serious about marriage.
It sounds like you're the only one that's serious about
marriage in this situation. She obviously didn't get the memo
because nothing she has done is out of character and
you can't change her again. This is who she is
you've changed though here you are just forty one saying
(03:24):
you're exhausted and worn out. I think you guys need
to reevaluate your relationship because you two are on two
different pages. You're on two different stages in life, and
it's not gonna work like this. You guys have to
talk and try to work this out if you can.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Steve, yeah, dog, you got a problem now.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I don't really know how you gonna handle this because
there's a lot of information in here we don't have,
but the stuff you've given us, it's not looking good.
This just leads me to one thing that somebody told
me one time about marriage. When you get married, the
only thing that will change between the two of you
(04:06):
is the appearance of your left hand, third finger. Whatever
is going on, Whatever is going on, it's you know,
it's it's going to continue, and it's only going to
get worse. How you haven't had budget talks by now
(04:32):
it's beyond me. But now it's here. Now really has
been passed.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Though. I'm just gonna be honest with you this.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I don't know what y'all was doing in the beginning,
Spending whatever you want to spend how you want to
spend going to dinner in Chicago, getting a limo, having
sex in the car on the way home.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Well, y'all make it now you hear what he hear?
Where you sound a little confusing to me?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
We have a lot of money between us, so it's
not an issue. Okay, Then why I say issue? See,
I don't care who you are. And let me be clear,
this whole lot of money do like you want too.
I don't know a lot of people can do that. Man,
(05:16):
I don't know a lot of people can do that.
And I know a few billionaires and I've actually been
in the room with them and they're going, Man, my
wife tripping, And I'm sitting here, going, your wife's tripping,
and I'm thinking they're talking about some infidelity. Man, she's
spent too much money. And that's always interesting to me
(05:39):
because you have billions. But guess what, I don't care
who you are. You could do too much. And guess what,
y'all don't done too much. Even major corporations who are
worth hundreds of billions of dollars, guess what they have budgets.
(06:00):
Each department has a certain amount that they have to
stay with. Then every small company should have budgets. Every
marriage should have budgets, and any relationship should have budgets.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Y'all ain't got none, So here we go. I guess
I'll come.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Back on the next half tell you what's fitting to
happen to you, But it already is, cause yeah, I
don't think y'all really got as much money as y'all
thought y'all had. But now this call service is finna throw.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You into so yes, all right, we'll have part two
of your response Steve coming up at twenty three minutes
after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject nothing has changed
since she got her ring. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Hey, it's Carla Farroll. Kick that old mopping aside. Are
you ready for a mop and bucket clean and half
the time? Make the swap to swifter power mop the
only one. Cleaning Hero has a built in solution that
breaks down dirt and grime like magic. With hundreds of
scrubbing strips on the pad, it absorbs sticky messes with ease.
Plus it'll leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
(07:20):
Get yours today and mop smarter with the swiffer power mop.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is nothing has changed since she got her ring.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Nothing has changed. These women and this man been dating
each other. They both forty one. He says, I'm about
to marry an intense woman and she stays lit. At
first I thought she meant she stay high, but that
the form of lit he's talked about in this letter
is just she just she keep it on tilt, she spinned,
(07:58):
she shopped. Whatever she do is at the higher end
of it. She's extreme. She's extreme. I think it's the
best way to say it. We first met, we were
out every night, take trips in the limo ride Chicago,
have sex and the limb on the way home. She
shop all day, give me as many nice things she
bought herself. We have a lot of money between us,
(08:21):
so it's not an issue. Okay, Then the whole rest
of this letter is about money and the problems they have. Okay,
I did a big thing. I bought a big ring,
decided to settle down. We bought a house together. Man,
You balling y'all about.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
A ring at the house. Same year.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
And when we still didn't have furniture. Three months later,
I asked her, what's up. She said, it's being shipped
from overseas. I told her, well, that's a big excessive.
She augus, she ain't selling for less when it comes
to any part of her I should have taken that
as a warning, but I kept letting her spend a
(09:05):
lot of money, and I started paying all the bills.
Then she played an extravagant house woman party and you
picked up the check.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Now, bruh, say, ever since I gave her that ring.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I'm a real man and I want to be a provider,
but it's too much for me because I'm a saverer,
not a spender. Well, bro, we got a problem because
she's not a saver. She's a spender, Okay. And then
he talked about I gotta work hard all day and
I can't have sex all day and on the man, Okay,
(09:43):
hold Dak, is she working cause y'all said it was
a lot of money between y'all, Yeah, she works, work
were and as what?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
He didn't say that? He said, my wife works, but
she never pulls out her credit card.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
At the end.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Anyway, I'm worn out in more ways in one now
her sister coming to visit, and she already got a
car service book for every day.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So they can run the streets.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
At my experience seeg minute ago, we have lots of
money between us, so money is not an issue. But
the whole letter is about money issues. My wife works,
but she never pulls out her credit card. Would I
be wrong to ask her to cut back a bit
(10:32):
or at least discuss major money moves with me?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Pray should have been there. This sound to me like
you a whole lot.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Of money too late, But then she'd told you she
ain't cutting back in no area of her life. So
prepare yourself, brother, not to have nothing. Yeah that's where
you heard at homie. Yeah, you're about to have a
whole lot of nothing. And y'all keep talking about them
credit cards. All you Finnah have is some debt. You
(11:03):
fin have credit card debt. So broh, I don't know
what to tell you. Man. If y'all don't put a
budget to the spending, you're not gonna have it for long.
And you're forty one, and the older you get you
don't increase your spending. You should be working on increasing
your assets. But right now here y'all spending money on
(11:23):
a lot of liabilities.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Say that again, Steve that what you said.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
The older you get, well older get you need to
be accumulating assets and not liabilities. You have to come
up with stuff. A home is a to me. I've
hearn a grant card that owning. Several people say lately
owning a home is the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I'm sorry. I like owning my house. I just do.
It might be the stupidest thing.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It might be some tax advantages to get in the
house and living in it rent and.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
All like that, but I want my house.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I want to be able to say to somebody, get
out of my house. I don't want nobody coming in.
And I like the house. Now he's telling me we're
gonna sell it, We're gonna need you to move get out.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
So I've heard all of this.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I'm gonna have to pull a grant to the side
and talk to him.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But I'm not finn to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And Bruhn, I don't know where you're at, man, I don't.
I just don't know where you're at. So good luck
with it. I wish you the best. Sounds horrible to me, Well, brother,
(12:44):
y'all getting married. Now you seem like you, deep in
you do love the girl. But y'all gotta work this out.
If either y'all worked this out or it's gonna work
you out. But you can't keep spending like this for
help it don't that ain't hard. Well, you're about ringing
the house and to save me and a sistant tell
me the coll service, coll service gonna crack you.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That means you don't have a lot of money. Okay,
let's stop this.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well, why did he say that though we have a
lot of money between us?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Because he reflecting he hadn't finished the letter.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Surely you know when you start typing, you got a
beginning of middle in the end. He forgot that the
middle of the end was going to gate the beginning.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Bad storytellers. What he is?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Maybe his idea of a lot of money? Yeah, all right,
thank you, Steve. Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey Fm, and check
us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.