Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. He's here physically but
not mentally. Stephen Shirley, my husband and I were legally
separated for about five months. Things were bad between us
last year and he decided it was best to move
out for a while. I agreed with him, and he
went to stay with his dad. Our son is seventeen
and he's been living with my husband's dad for his
(00:48):
senior year to be closer to school and to drive
its granddad's old Camaro to school. It was an ideal
situation for the three of them. I thought for sure
my husband was going to serve me with the orse papers. Instead,
he called me after Christmas and asked if i'd go
to counseling with him. I agreed and we went to
see a therapist for two months. He got frustrated and
(01:10):
said the male therapist was taking my side, so we
stopped going. During therapy, I found out that my husband
cheated on me, and it was because he wasn't attracted
to me anymore. I was unfazed by it all. I
just wanted to get a divorce and get it over
with quickly. Then he hit me with a double whammy
and said he was ready to come home. I couldn't
(01:32):
say no because it's his house too, So he has
been back since the first of May. His body is here,
but not his mind. When I talked to him, and
he smiles and nods his head. When I talked to him,
he smiles and nods his head. I know he's not
paying attention to me. I had decided that if he
ever came back home, I was going to give him
(01:55):
a night he wouldn't forget. But he hasn't touched me
since he got home Saturday night. I tried to shower
with him, but he locked the bathroom door.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Why would he.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Come back home without changing his behavior? I cannot live
like this. Should I be the one that calls it
quits this time. Please help, please help. This is really terrible,
and clearly he's not ready. I mean, listen, smiling and
nodding his head when you're talking to him. That's not communication,
(02:25):
that's not intimacy. It's hard to tell where his head is,
but you do see his actions, and they are very clear.
He's showing you how he feels. He got frustrated, you said,
when and stop going to therapy to the male therapist.
That's where he confessed to cheating on you. He said
he no longer found you attractive, and he locked the
(02:47):
bathroom door on you, on you. What other conclusion are
you supposed to draw from all of this but that
he is over it and not into you anymore, or
he's not into the marriage anymore. Same thing right there.
He can't come back home and not talk to you
or not be affectionate all that. I think he just
maybe wanted to get back in the house and see
if you changed, and he's not necessarily into the marriage.
(03:12):
He wanted to get back in the house, but not
the marriage.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Steve, Yeah, this is an easy letter for me. Let's
just go on and get to this. This over's just
this over. Let's say't nothing. You went the therapy, you
the moved out, you to move back in. We han't
done it all. We've separated, we've gotten back together and
(03:35):
went to therapy. He's moved away and he's moved back in.
And none of them situations was good. Now y'all been
legally separated for five months. Things were bad between us
and y'all all. Both of y'all decided it was best.
So he went to live with his daddy. Y'all son,
(03:55):
who was a senior in high school, also went to
live with him because it gets him close to the school.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It was ideal for the three of them, so you
think you.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
And he got to drive his granddaddy's old Camaro to school.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So the boy got a call. The only one got
a good out. This deal with the boy.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Granddaddy did good because he got him some company. And
your husband thought it was gonna be good because he
got away from you, and you thought it was good
because you wanted them to get away from you too,
and you thought for sure he served you with divorce papers. Instead,
he called you after Christmas and asked you to go
to counsel, where you went to counselor. How that work out?
(04:34):
When you go to counseling and counseling don't work. What
do you want be his? What the counselor tell y'all,
your husband said he didn't like the mail counselor because
he was signing with you.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, the husband was saying some.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Crazy stuff in this session because in this session.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
You found out he cheated on you.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
In this session, you found out he was no longer
attracted to you.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You, and then when he came home he locking doors.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Now, let me defend him, Hill, I got to lock
that bathrooom, dough What.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I locked bathroom doors at my house when I.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Go in them today I locked the door because my
wife would just start talking.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
And I don't want to talk when him in him.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I got telephone, got games on it, got a TV
in now, got everything.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I ain't coming here talking. So I must defend him
on the not talking in the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
But the rest of his letter is it's just nothing's working.
The separation didn't work, the therapy didn't work, and the
coming back home didn't work. What we're talking about. So
what I think the best way for me to do
is I'm gonna have the ladies. We're gonna do a
slight me inacting. Now here's let me get to this
(05:58):
park room back home and since may his body is
here but not his mind. This is what I want
you all to focus on. His body's here, but not
his mind. When I talk to him, he smiles and
nods his head. I know he ain't paying attention to me,
and I decided when he came back home, I was
gonna give me a knight for him to remember, but
(06:20):
he ain't touched me. Since he's back home and his behavior.
I cannot live like this. Should I be the one
that calls it quits this time? Please help when we
come back, Shirley and Carl him Junior. Anybody can ask
me the question as the lady, and I will show
you the response of a non concerned husk.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Thank you, Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Coming up, we'll have part two of your response subject
he's here physically but not mentally. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show
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Speaker 5 (07:02):
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(07:25):
just pay PayPal. Learn more at PayPal dot com. All right,
come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. And then
you said you wanted to reenactment.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
This subject of the Strawberry letter today is he's here physically,
but not mentally exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
This is what this letters hold all about.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
The lady nailed this letter perfectly and has given us
enough facts for us to come to a conclusion.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
They've been legally separated for five months. Facts.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Okay, ladies, Just what I'm gonna do when I say
something that's true, y'all say thanks. My husband and I
have been legally separated for about five months. Things was
bad between us last year and he decided it was
best to move out for a while.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I agreed with him, so he went to stay with
his dad.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Facts.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
His son, our sons, seventeen, been living with my husband's
dad for his senior year to be close to the
school and to drive his granddaddy's old Camaro.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It was an ideal situation for the three of them.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Fac.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
I thought, my husband gonna serve you with divorce papers
then on Christmas, but did he? After Christmas? He asked
if we could go counseling together with him. I agreed.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
They went to see a therapist for two months.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
He got mad at the therapist because the male therapist
was taking his side, so they stopped going to a
therapy fast.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Well.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Then they found out while they was in therapy that
he cheated on the woman, and then he told her
it was because I'm not attracted to you.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Ooh, facts, So what.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Are we talking about now?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
You know? Then he hit you with a double woman
told you he wanted to move back home, and I
couldn't say no because it's his house too. So he
been back since. Mate, his body's here.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
But not his mind back facts.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
All right, now that's over with. So now, ladies, listen
to this. When I talked to him, he smiles and nods.
I know he's not paying attention to me, and I
thought that when he came back home, I gave a
knight to remember, but he ain't touched me since. And
so now I tried to shower with him, he locked
the bathroom door. Why would he come back home without
changing his behavior? I cannot live like this? Should I
(09:43):
be the one that calls it quits this time?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Help?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Please?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I think you should call it quits because I see
nothing in here that no redeeming qualities in here. Y'all
separated because he was going bad. All of y'all agreed.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
He went over that. Now why did he come back?
It's what you don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Because see, your son got somebody of it because he
driving the carter. Still, yeah, your daddy, his daddy got
somebody because he finally has some company. But it ain't
good when all when three men live in the house,
an old man, ranged man, and a young boy, ain't
nothing clean in that house. Your husband got out of
(10:29):
there because at least he can come back home. And
he came home for convenience, not for you.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Now, that's all it was. So.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Now, ladies, ask me anything you are or creator sener,
and I will tell you how an unconcerned her husband
reacts because she said, his body's here, but not his mind.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
When I talked to him, he nods and smiles, But
I know he ain't this. I ain't going ahead.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Go ahead, Carling asked, goohead.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Babe, Baby, you're gonna season the ribs and the wings
for this weekend.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
For Memorial Day for the barbecue everybody.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Yeah, cause you know what? Yeah, I guess I love good.
You want some salt and pep on that?
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Yeah? You do your thing, baby, rub do it.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
There's there's some people, there's some people coming over the weekend.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Yes, are you with me?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Do you want to see what I'm saying?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Get to meet ready barbecue Mary eight?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Just a little early for fourth of July.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
It's Memorial Day, babe, listening three day weekends. If I
can count on you for that?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Mm hmmm, I can't say it. No real days, baby.
I bought this outfit.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I'm gonna go try it on, and I want you
to let me know how it looks something, because I
was thinking about wearing this to the cookout.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
You like it?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I look at it?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Just you like its just some shorts in a little top,
or I can put the sun dress on?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Which one you like the best?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
You're gonna wear a dress?
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Yeah? Are you attention? You like the sun dress on me?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
If?
Speaker 4 (12:25):
Well, where's you're going Sunday to the.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Cookout, to the cookout.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
The cookout ain't until Labor Day. Hey, baby, stay right there.
I gotta I gotta go to the store. I gotta
go get some salt polka. I got seasoned to.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
These shorts. So how does it make my butt look?
These shorts look? That's cute.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Not what I do.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Need some most shouts. Hellol's got elastic. Elastic popped in
the last pair of shouts I had.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Have you seen them?
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Are you listening to me at all? Are you listening
to me at all? Nothing?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
My mind is here with you, but my mind is
on the side of time.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
All right.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You see how I was going? Yeah, this marriage?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
All right?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on the Instagram
and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM and check us out
in the call.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Tell him to pick me up in that Camaro because
I got to get out to the stove for Closed.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Friday podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Coming up next to is Junior and Sports Talk.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.