July 12, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been married for 4 years to the love of my life. When we met, she had just had a handsome baby boy and we bonded over us both being heartbroken. I was engaged to a self-centered woman before I met my wife and 2 weeks before our wedding, she ghosted me. My wife had been dating a man for a long time and when she got pregnant, he ghosted her. We were two damaged friends that became lovers......................................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
All right, guys, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter,
and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
gonna read this one right here, right now, and you
never know it could be yours. Buckle up and hold
(00:23):
on tight. We got a tour you here. It is
a Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject She's too phony
and bony now, Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for
four years to the love of my life. When we met,
she had just had a handsome baby boy, and we
bonded over us both being heartbroken. I was engaged to
(00:43):
a self centered woman before I met my wife, and
two weeks before our wedding, she ghosted me. My wife
had been dating a man for a long time, and
when she got pregnant, he ghosted her. We were too
damaged friends that became lovers. I have raised her son
as my own and loved her through her weight challenges.
I know she was bigger when we met because she
(01:06):
just had a baby. I knew she was bigger because
she just had a baby when she was still overweight.
A year later, we started eating healthier and I encouraged
her to lose weight. We got a trainer and she
went and got a breast reduction. When the weight came off,
she got a lot of new clothes, and she let
her hair grow, and she got a perm. It was
(01:27):
like her attitude changed overnight, and she was very uppity.
All of a sudden. I suggested she ease up on
working out because she lost all of her curves. She
started hanging out with her trainer and the trainer's friends,
who are all skinny, single airheads that drink a lot
and liked to be in the streets. My wife started
(01:48):
wearing emerald contacts and she wants some kind of cosmetic
procedure on her chin. Our son will be five and
two months and she wants to rent a venue for
his party because she said my house is not adequate enough.
She puts her tiny little butt in lingerie before sex,
and her moan sounds so phony, like we're in a four. No.
(02:09):
I can't keep up with the new woman she has become,
and I hope she doesn't tell me that I'm not
enough for her. How do I get my juicy, down
to earth wife back. Well, honestly, I don't think that's
gonna happen. I don't think you're gonna get her back,
I think. And the problem is you're afraid that you
can't keep up with this new woman she has become.
(02:31):
And I think she's gone for good. And you just
basically told us why because she's changed on the outside.
You said she got a breast reduction, she lost all
her curve, she's wearing Emerald contacts now. But I really
think it's the inside change that's bothering you the most.
Because she has new friends now. She hangs out with
her trainer and his people. They like to drink and
(02:53):
they're from the streets. You say. And although you were
very supportive in the beginning. You know about her weight
loss and all of that getting a trainer and all
of that eating healthier. That broken girl that you bonded
with a few years back, that girl is no longer
interested in being a good wife. It seems she's trying
to live her best life right now after conquering her
(03:15):
weight issues. And this is who she really is. You
need to get used to this. This is who this
person really is. She's skinny now, all of that she
you know, she got her priorities mixed up. They're all
out of order now because she's trying to find herself
and she's losing you. I mean, doesn't she realize that
(03:36):
she could have it both. She could have a good family,
a good marriage, she could have a good life, and
she could still have a good toned body. And all
of a sudden, your house isn't good enough for a
five year old birthday party. I mean, the five year
old doesn't care about that. He just wants to party
with his little friends. I say, you've got to talk
to her. It might be too late, but you know
(03:58):
you've got to try to reason with her, because I
think it's not over until it's over. I mean, I
can't speak on her fake moaning because if she is
faking it, that may be the real reason she's checked out.
I mean, that's what's got you so scared. You got
to try and sit down and figure this whole situation
out with her. But I do think part of her
is gone for good. You'll never get that back. Steve. Okay, look,
(04:21):
you all bonded out of mutual hurt, But I think
the relationship started in a genuine fashion. Seems like now
when you all had this baby, and she will still
overweight a year later. Now, let's talk about this well set.
That's that babyweight. Man, it's hard to get rid of it, really,
(04:44):
really is. I hear a lot of women talk about
the struggles of babyweight, and you got to understand that
women that's dealing with babyweight thirteen years afterwards. I mean,
you know, and who am I? Who am I to
say that should have gotten rid of it by now,
because I look at my stomach and I think I
should have gotten rid of it by now, But it
(05:06):
don't go away like I wanted too. So it's a
weight issue. This whole thing is about waiting, attitude. This
whole thing. Y'all started eating healthier, and you encourage her
to lose weight. She got a trainer, she went and
got a breast reduction, so she just started taking everything down.
(05:27):
I'm gonna take this weight down. I'm gonna get rid
of these breasts. You know, all this health the weight
came off, She bought a lot of new clothes, she
let her hat grow, and she got a perm. Now
I'm just really basing on these new changes that you're
telling me. I just want to deal with what was
it we was dealing with origidally? Here you go, because
(05:53):
you didn't cut damn near everything. So I just makes
me when the weight she got a breast reduction, Yeah,
when the weight came off, she got a lot of
new clothes, and she let her hair grow and got
a perm. Lawd Jesus, what was going on before? So
(06:15):
before to breast reduction, before to weight loss, before she
grew her hair, and before to perm and before the
emerald eye contacts? Oh Lord Jesus, who was you staying with?
Don't forget the emerald contact? Save that just now? All right,
(06:38):
here we go. When we come back, we'll have part
two of Steve's respond to twenty three minutes after the hour.
You definitely don't want to miss it. Today's strawberry letter.
Subject is she's too phony and bony. Now we'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
(07:00):
is she's too phony and bony. Now, Well, this was
a letter about a man and woman who met who
had had mutual pain, but they were there for each other,
and both of them got ghosted. One after this she
got pregnant and the other one, the guy got ghosted
two weeks before his wit and they met each other.
They were friends. They two damaged friends that became lovers,
(07:23):
was his description. You've raised her son like your own.
You've loved her through her weight challenges, and now you
said in the letter, I knew she was bigger when
we met because she just had a baby when she
was still Overwait a year later, then y'all started eating
health and you encouraged her to lose or weight. I'm
(07:43):
assuming we started because you was kind of you know,
big boy yourself a little bit. Then got a trainer
when now here was the problem I have. I'm listening
to everything she's done, and I want to just see
what we what were we dealing with before all this?
So these is the changes. She got a trainer and
got a breast reduction, so that's the first thing she got,
(08:05):
because then you said when the weight came off, she
got rid of a little cloth, So she got the
breast reduction done first. That was probably so she could
do the workouts. What I don't know That's what I'm thinking,
based on this letter right here. If I was an
eatnant person reading this letter, and I do have a
tendency to be ignorant at times, check she was overweighted.
(08:30):
A year later, we started eating healthy, got we got
a trainer. She wouldn't got a breast reduction. I'm assuming
that these exercises without the breast reduction was a bit much.
She was getting hit in the mouth a lot, you know,
maybe even did jumped and knocked herself out, you know, Uh,
(08:51):
couldn't couldn't see the flow, you know, doing the little
letter of drills on the flow and couldn't see the
flow called the breast was in the way. I don't know.
But but to do these exercises, she had to get
this breath with thee Then when the wave come off,
she got a lot of clothes. Then she let her
hair grow and got a perm. So before this it
(09:12):
wasn't no hair, and it wasn't no perm. I'm just
basing this on that. Then her attitude changed and she started, oh,
wearing emerald contacts. You gotta be careful with the emerald
contact because they got to match your skin toe. You
just can't want green eyes and be any shade. Now
(09:33):
some of this we bought a line scary. Now you
know we're looking like children at the corn and stuff
like this. Now you you know, like really really fair
complexant people can't get emerald eyes and real dog people
can't get emerald eyes. You can't go on the street.
You gotta be somewhere in the middle. You gotta be
like a different color to get gimmer eyes. Then you
said she wanted some kind of cosmetic surgery on her chin. Well,
(09:59):
her cheer was probably damaged from her breast. You know,
there's a lot of this gold's hand in hand in
this letter right here. I'm not gonna be able to
help this couple off, and I can see that right now.
So let's just find the joy out of this letter.
Because after this breast reduction, not for the first time
she seeing her chin. Now she got to get something
(10:19):
done because then breath gets all up under her. She
had her clevage started. Her cleavage was so big some
people thought she had a cleft in her chin. It
was actually her breath. So now once she got it
that cleavage reduced, she found out it wasn't a cleft
(10:40):
in her chin. Then the sun gonna be five and
two months, and she want to rent a venue because
the house ain't adequate enough for the five year old party,
because she wanta flex in front of her little skinny
ass friends and train of friends. Then then she puts
(11:01):
on a little tiny butt in linger rabifol sex and
her moan sounds so funny, like we're in a point
on and you just can't keep up with this woman
she'd become. And I hope she don't tell me that
I'm not enough for her. How do I get my
juicy down to earth wife back? She could be gone
with all this chin work weight reduction, and that took
(11:21):
the breasts off. You just can't go packing that back home.
But we're gonna have to start them. The only way
we're gonna get big juicy back is we got to
start with food. We've got to get these catagies up.
This I could help you with. I can't help you
with losing weight, but I can show her how to
pack it up. Bread. Bread is very important, and not
(11:42):
just bread alone, but you gotta put something on the bread.
It's gotta be butter or jam, stuff like that. You
got came down. Don't just eat the bread by yourself. Go.
We gotta get big juicy back. That's what you want.
You want big juice down to earth. And she was
down the earth because she couldn't get off the earth.
You understand, big people, it's gonna be more ground dead
(12:03):
because they are very rarely ever a born. So there
you're gonna hatty moments like this hill. So to get
big juice it back, we got to start with bread.
We need to go to the grocery store and bibe
that big bag of potatoes, the one you ain't bought
in a while. That's paper, but it's got the little
mesh on the front, so you can see that there
(12:25):
is potatoes. And then you need to go down there
at the bottom row. They are the bottom row of
that aisle and get that big ass bag of rice,
the one that that that you can't hold in one hand. Yeah,
we need it's on the bottom row. It's the big bags.
It's on the bottom row. She gets that chien done.
(12:45):
She get that chin done. You ain't gonna be talked to.
Hum Today's Strawberry Letter as Steve Harvey on Instagram and Facebook.
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up
with forty six minutes after the hour, we got Sports
Talk with you. You're right after this, you're listening to
the Day Harvey Morning Show.
All right, guys, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter,
and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
gonna read this one right here, right now, and you
never know it could be yours. Buckle up and hold
(00:23):
on tight. We got a tour you here. It is
a Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject She's too phony
and bony now, Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for
four years to the love of my life. When we met,
she had just had a handsome baby boy, and we
bonded over us both being heartbroken. I was engaged to
(00:43):
a self centered woman before I met my wife, and
two weeks before our wedding, she ghosted me. My wife
had been dating a man for a long time, and
when she got pregnant, he ghosted her. We were too
damaged friends that became lovers. I have raised her son
as my own and loved her through her weight challenges.
I know she was bigger when we met because she
(01:06):
just had a baby. I knew she was bigger because
she just had a baby when she was still overweight.
A year later, we started eating healthier and I encouraged
her to lose weight. We got a trainer and she
went and got a breast reduction. When the weight came off,
she got a lot of new clothes, and she let
her hair grow, and she got a perm. It was
(01:27):
like her attitude changed overnight, and she was very uppity.
All of a sudden. I suggested she ease up on
working out because she lost all of her curves. She
started hanging out with her trainer and the trainer's friends,
who are all skinny, single airheads that drink a lot
and liked to be in the streets. My wife started
(01:48):
wearing emerald contacts and she wants some kind of cosmetic
procedure on her chin. Our son will be five and
two months and she wants to rent a venue for
his party because she said my house is not adequate enough.
She puts her tiny little butt in lingerie before sex,
and her moan sounds so phony, like we're in a four. No.
(02:09):
I can't keep up with the new woman she has become,
and I hope she doesn't tell me that I'm not
enough for her. How do I get my juicy, down
to earth wife back. Well, honestly, I don't think that's
gonna happen. I don't think you're gonna get her back,
I think. And the problem is you're afraid that you
can't keep up with this new woman she has become.
(02:31):
And I think she's gone for good. And you just
basically told us why because she's changed on the outside.
You said she got a breast reduction, she lost all
her curve, she's wearing Emerald contacts now. But I really
think it's the inside change that's bothering you the most.
Because she has new friends now. She hangs out with
her trainer and his people. They like to drink and
(02:53):
they're from the streets. You say. And although you were
very supportive in the beginning. You know about her weight
loss and all of that getting a trainer and all
of that eating healthier. That broken girl that you bonded
with a few years back, that girl is no longer
interested in being a good wife. It seems she's trying
to live her best life right now after conquering her
(03:15):
weight issues. And this is who she really is. You
need to get used to this. This is who this
person really is. She's skinny now, all of that she
you know, she got her priorities mixed up. They're all
out of order now because she's trying to find herself
and she's losing you. I mean, doesn't she realize that
(03:36):
she could have it both. She could have a good family,
a good marriage, she could have a good life, and
she could still have a good toned body. And all
of a sudden, your house isn't good enough for a
five year old birthday party. I mean, the five year
old doesn't care about that. He just wants to party
with his little friends. I say, you've got to talk
to her. It might be too late, but you know
(03:58):
you've got to try to reason with her, because I
think it's not over until it's over. I mean, I
can't speak on her fake moaning because if she is
faking it, that may be the real reason she's checked out.
I mean, that's what's got you so scared. You got
to try and sit down and figure this whole situation
out with her. But I do think part of her
is gone for good. You'll never get that back. Steve. Okay, look,
(04:21):
you all bonded out of mutual hurt, But I think
the relationship started in a genuine fashion. Seems like now
when you all had this baby, and she will still
overweight a year later. Now, let's talk about this well set.
That's that babyweight. Man, it's hard to get rid of it, really,
(04:44):
really is. I hear a lot of women talk about
the struggles of babyweight, and you got to understand that
women that's dealing with babyweight thirteen years afterwards. I mean,
you know, and who am I? Who am I to
say that should have gotten rid of it by now,
because I look at my stomach and I think I
should have gotten rid of it by now, But it
(05:06):
don't go away like I wanted too. So it's a
weight issue. This whole thing is about waiting, attitude. This
whole thing. Y'all started eating healthier, and you encourage her
to lose weight. She got a trainer, she went and
got a breast reduction, so she just started taking everything down.
(05:27):
I'm gonna take this weight down. I'm gonna get rid
of these breasts. You know, all this health the weight
came off, She bought a lot of new clothes, she
let her hat grow, and she got a perm. Now
I'm just really basing on these new changes that you're
telling me. I just want to deal with what was
it we was dealing with origidally? Here you go, because
(05:53):
you didn't cut damn near everything. So I just makes
me when the weight she got a breast reduction, Yeah,
when the weight came off, she got a lot of
new clothes, and she let her hair grow and got
a perm. Lawd Jesus, what was going on before? So
(06:15):
before to breast reduction, before to weight loss, before she
grew her hair, and before to perm and before the
emerald eye contacts? Oh Lord Jesus, who was you staying with?
Don't forget the emerald contact? Save that just now? All right,
(06:38):
here we go. When we come back, we'll have part
two of Steve's respond to twenty three minutes after the hour.
You definitely don't want to miss it. Today's strawberry letter.
Subject is she's too phony and bony. Now we'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
(07:00):
is she's too phony and bony. Now, Well, this was
a letter about a man and woman who met who
had had mutual pain, but they were there for each other,
and both of them got ghosted. One after this she
got pregnant and the other one, the guy got ghosted
two weeks before his wit and they met each other.
They were friends. They two damaged friends that became lovers,
(07:23):
was his description. You've raised her son like your own.
You've loved her through her weight challenges, and now you
said in the letter, I knew she was bigger when
we met because she just had a baby when she
was still Overwait a year later, then y'all started eating
health and you encouraged her to lose or weight. I'm
(07:43):
assuming we started because you was kind of you know,
big boy yourself a little bit. Then got a trainer
when now here was the problem I have. I'm listening
to everything she's done, and I want to just see
what we what were we dealing with before all this?
So these is the changes. She got a trainer and
got a breast reduction, so that's the first thing she got,
(08:05):
because then you said when the weight came off, she
got rid of a little cloth, So she got the
breast reduction done first. That was probably so she could
do the workouts. What I don't know That's what I'm thinking,
based on this letter right here. If I was an
eatnant person reading this letter, and I do have a
tendency to be ignorant at times, check she was overweighted.
(08:30):
A year later, we started eating healthy, got we got
a trainer. She wouldn't got a breast reduction. I'm assuming
that these exercises without the breast reduction was a bit much.
She was getting hit in the mouth a lot, you know,
maybe even did jumped and knocked herself out, you know, Uh,
(08:51):
couldn't couldn't see the flow, you know, doing the little
letter of drills on the flow and couldn't see the
flow called the breast was in the way. I don't know.
But but to do these exercises, she had to get
this breath with thee Then when the wave come off,
she got a lot of clothes. Then she let her
hair grow and got a perm. So before this it
(09:12):
wasn't no hair, and it wasn't no perm. I'm just
basing this on that. Then her attitude changed and she started, oh,
wearing emerald contacts. You gotta be careful with the emerald
contact because they got to match your skin toe. You
just can't want green eyes and be any shade. Now
(09:33):
some of this we bought a line scary. Now you
know we're looking like children at the corn and stuff
like this. Now you you know, like really really fair
complexant people can't get emerald eyes and real dog people
can't get emerald eyes. You can't go on the street.
You gotta be somewhere in the middle. You gotta be
like a different color to get gimmer eyes. Then you
said she wanted some kind of cosmetic surgery on her chin. Well,
(09:59):
her cheer was probably damaged from her breast. You know,
there's a lot of this gold's hand in hand in
this letter right here. I'm not gonna be able to
help this couple off, and I can see that right now.
So let's just find the joy out of this letter.
Because after this breast reduction, not for the first time
she seeing her chin. Now she got to get something
(10:19):
done because then breath gets all up under her. She
had her clevage started. Her cleavage was so big some
people thought she had a cleft in her chin. It
was actually her breath. So now once she got it
that cleavage reduced, she found out it wasn't a cleft
(10:40):
in her chin. Then the sun gonna be five and
two months, and she want to rent a venue because
the house ain't adequate enough for the five year old party,
because she wanta flex in front of her little skinny
ass friends and train of friends. Then then she puts
(11:01):
on a little tiny butt in linger rabifol sex and
her moan sounds so funny, like we're in a point
on and you just can't keep up with this woman
she'd become. And I hope she don't tell me that
I'm not enough for her. How do I get my
juicy down to earth wife back? She could be gone
with all this chin work weight reduction, and that took
(11:21):
the breasts off. You just can't go packing that back home.
But we're gonna have to start them. The only way
we're gonna get big juicy back is we got to
start with food. We've got to get these catagies up.
This I could help you with. I can't help you
with losing weight, but I can show her how to
pack it up. Bread. Bread is very important, and not
(11:42):
just bread alone, but you gotta put something on the bread.
It's gotta be butter or jam, stuff like that. You
got came down. Don't just eat the bread by yourself. Go.
We gotta get big juicy back. That's what you want.
You want big juice down to earth. And she was
down the earth because she couldn't get off the earth.
You understand, big people, it's gonna be more ground dead
(12:03):
because they are very rarely ever a born. So there
you're gonna hatty moments like this hill. So to get
big juice it back, we got to start with bread.
We need to go to the grocery store and bibe
that big bag of potatoes, the one you ain't bought
in a while. That's paper, but it's got the little
mesh on the front, so you can see that there
(12:25):
is potatoes. And then you need to go down there
at the bottom row. They are the bottom row of
that aisle and get that big ass bag of rice,
the one that that that you can't hold in one hand. Yeah,
we need it's on the bottom row. It's the big bags.
It's on the bottom row. She gets that chien done.
(12:45):
She get that chin done. You ain't gonna be talked to.
Hum Today's Strawberry Letter as Steve Harvey on Instagram and Facebook.
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up
with forty six minutes after the hour, we got Sports
Talk with you. You're right after this, you're listening to
the Day Harvey Morning Show.
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