December 19, 2025 • 26 mins
Chris & Amy acknowledging the Bondi tragedy before shifting gears into comfort viewing, Christmas chaos and classic Chris & Amy energy. Amy leads the charge on festive vibes, Christmas movies, and the very real mental load mums are carrying as December ramps up.
The show’s new “Around the World” segment delivers pure chaos — from the world’s fastest garden shed in the UK, to Turkey ruling that liking thirst traps can be grounds for divorce, to a Scottish darts player hospitalised after a spectacularly unhinged meltdown.
Amy then opens up about end-of-year burnout, sibling warfare, and her boys choosing violence before breakfast, before sharing a chaotic but joyful girls’ Christmas lunch that involved R&B, questionable dancing and zero regrets. The episode wraps with parenting guilt, outsourcing “core” mum and dad jobs, and a brutally honest Nailed It / Failed It — including Amy admitting she swore at her kids and Chris losing an illegal vape somewhere in the house.
Chapters & Timestamps
00:00 – A heavy week & finding the balance
02:15 – Christmas countdown & festive movie debates
05:50 – Around the World: fastest shed, thirst-trap divorces & darts disaster
10:15 – Kids are cooked: end-of-year burnout & sibling chaos
14:15 – Amy’s girls’ Christmas party (R&B, dancing & safe chaos)
18:10 – Outsourcing parenting guilt: bikes, swimming & driving lessons
22:30 – Nailed It / Failed It: mum rage, Christmas wins & a lost vape
26:10 – Final thoughts & sign-off
Keywords
Chris & Amy podcast, Weekend Breakfast KIIS, Amy Gerard parenting, end of year burnout kids, Christmas mental load mums, Around the World radio segment, fastest garden shed, Turkey divorce social media, darts player meltdown, sibling fighting Australia, mum burnout December, girls Christmas party, relatable parenting podcast, Australian radio comedy, KIIS FM weekend show, Nailed It Failed It segment
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, Sir, let's go. Let's good morning. That remains to
be seen. Chris Page and Amy Gerard in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Hey, good morning everyone, Hallow, Amy Gerard, Good morning, Paigey.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Let's just stay off the top.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We'd like to keep it light and fun today, but
it does feel a little weird to get on air
for the first time after the events in BONDI last
Sunday night without touching on it briefly this morning, because
I know it's knocked us both around personally.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
It has honestly been the heaviest week.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Hard to kind of keep moving forward, because I mean,
life never stops, but it's hard to kind of just
keep going on knowing that what other people, especially the
Jewish community, have been put through.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I have never had news fatigueeah like I have in
the past week of having to turn it off and
even but because it's everywhere, it's very difficult to escape it.
And I just after you see that footage, for whatever reason,
it's the eightieth or the hundredth time you see it
being showing to your face, it just breaks you.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Well, It just.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Hit home so hard for me because literally, on the
day that it happened, when that poor little ten year
old girl Matilda lost her life, I was literally celebrating
my ten year old daughter's birthday, and so the way
it hit home for me, I just I could not
even fathom what her parents and it is just so
(01:50):
utterly devastating. My heart just goes out to every single
person affected.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
And yeah, it's a really sad time for.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
It's a fine balance, isn't it, of shutting yourself into
a cocoon and going I just can't watch or read
any more about this. But then I also feel selfish
because I know how bad people are suffering, but you
have more about some point, yeah, to help the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Exactly right, And I think it sometimes, I don't think
it is selfish to, you know, put your phone down
and kind of focus in on your family and your
kids and just really kind of envelope them in love
and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
This is Chris Page and Amy's Ride five Sleeps Christmas.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I am getting excited, and I'll tell you how.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I know.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I start with the Christmas movies.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I know no one watches Free to Wear anymore, but
they do all the classics do start popping up on
you know.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I actually was watching Free to Air the other day
the Holiday was on.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, that is a absolute crowd favorite with me and
my mum.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Now remind me because it's one of Georgie's favorites.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
So Cameron and.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
They swap homes.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So Kate Winslet goes to America and she has like
a summary warm Christmas, and then Cameron Diaz.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Goes to the UK and she meets Jude Law.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Yes, and he is so fine the movie.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Who's the American bloke for Kate Winsley?
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Jack Black? No, he's very good.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Who drew the short straw?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
There?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Jude Law or Jack Black?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
No?
Speaker 5 (03:20):
You can't help but fall in love with Jack Black?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
It is such a.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Good movie, a real feel good movie. Highly recommend, especially
for all the women listening.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I think every woman listening. But you've sold me on it.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I'll check it chair watch with Georgie. Well, I don't
mind an annual viewing of love. Actually, it's sort of
one of those things where it's like spaghetti bowl and
as for dinner, you go, oh yeah, spag ball, but
then you're eating it and.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
You go, actually, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's really good, and there's a reason why you watch
this over and over again.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
And there's a lot of very funny bits in it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Obviously home alone. I'm a big fan of number one.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
One and two obviously. Yeah, both great.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Which do you prefer?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I prefer too Lost in New York.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Yeah, I'll just go because it's New York, I think.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, I do love the city of New York.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
And also it's just horrifically violent for a children's film,
throwing bricks at their head off a four story townhouse
and you go, those blokes would be dead fifty times.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
They would have died within the first three minutes of
the film.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
What about Elf Love, Elf Love?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Will Ferrell, Yes, watched it with the kids for the
first time the other night.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Did they like it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, they're into it now. They I tried a few
years ago with are a bit young to get it? Yep,
now they're yeah, they cli Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
What about National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's a classic, But I haven't done that with the
little kids yet. I think there's a bit of there's
a bit of rude gear in there.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, Okay, but I mean my kids have watched Billy
Madison and Happy Gilmour, so we just kind of like
glaze over that part.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
It's a good one.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Have you showing your kids your favorite Christmas movie, Bad Santa?
I have not Billy Bob Thornton my whole pass. Ye.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
He's not as attractive in that movie he's meant to be. No,
he's definitely not. I am yet to watch that with
my kids. I might watch that tonight with Ryan.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
You know, a great one.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
If you're going to just plick on something iron, don't
warn him at all for a Christmas movie.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Go hey, this is one.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Paigey recommended Terrifier three with the Clown. It's an lovely
horror film, well horror slash comedy, according to the the imdbit.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I remember you still showed me that one tiny scene
where yep, and I still replay that in my brain
when I lie in bed at night.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Don't you'll love the opening scene of Terrifire three. No,
it happens in a family home, the kids are asleep. No,
it's all beautiful and a friendly Christmas clown comes to visit.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I'm going to watch the Holiday again.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Now, usually I start a new segment, I come in,
I'm full of ideas, Yes you are, and you hear
them and you go no.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
You're full of shit and you don't like idea of them.
This one I think worked out.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Okay, I love this one.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And Lord knows we need some good news stories this
week of all the time.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
So let's go around the world.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Around.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Here's how it works.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They just press a button, it plays me some music
and we know what story the country is from that
we're going to talk about. So let's go story number
one here, America.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
You got it?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I normally say Britain. I'm not making that mistake twice.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Now, this one's the good old USA. A.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Actually that's a terrible story. A deer in a shop.
Who cares. I'll just go to the next one.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
By the UK.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Yes, you are correct.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Here the world's fastest garden shed has been discovered in
the UK.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
The world's fastest garden garden shed.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
I piqued your interest. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
It's just shattered expectations. A block named Brian Cade. Well done.
Brian has built a shed on a chassis and turbo
charged it to hit one hundred and twenty three miles
an hour. That's just under two hundred k's an hour.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But this makes no sense. Why does he put his
garden shed on wheels.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Because he's awesome?
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Well? I just yeah, okay, is he gonna?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't know if he needs other people to build them?
Now for shed racing, yes, okay, has a wooden exterior
steering wheel and a V eight engine.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Is someone inside steering it?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, it's racing down airfields at dizzying speeds.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Previous here we go.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
The previous record held by another shed lover, oh Okay
named Kevin Nix, was only one hundred and six miles
an hour. Wow, so he smashed it by twenty miles.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Are you taking your lawnmower out? Or is everything staying in?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I think you take everything out because you don't want
it to be too heavy. It's just a tin shed
on wheels with a V.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Eight engine and a steering wheel. Wow, I reckon they're yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Well I say they're awesome, but I wouldn't let them
babysit my kids.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Where are we going next?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Oh? I mean the Pussycat Dolls, but it was the
only music from close Turkey, Turkey fi.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
All right, but I'm lad it is a pussycat dolls.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I'm glad because it's a sexy story out of Turkey.
It's about first trapping your marriag.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Oh oh, I think I've heard this. You have.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
They've passed a new law in Turkey that liking someone
else's photos on social media.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Liking another woman's photos.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Right, well, if you're a bloke, yes, I mean hello,
women can like blokes photos too. It goes both ways.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Not often.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
If her husband repeatedly likes another woman's post, yeah, that's
ground for divorce and a court will grant her the
divorce based on thirst.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Trick. I did read this. Didn't their husband like repeatedly
like the.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Same woman's photo over and over and they basically deemed
it like infidelity?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Wild, I mean I do.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I I like all your photos and you like Charlie
Charlie from High five.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
But she's my friend.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, I know, she's my friend and looks good in
a bikini like we think you only like her bikini photos.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Though, are they? It's the algorithm? She must be all that.
It shows me.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Yeah, you never like and the ones with their family or.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
She has a family.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Come on last stop on the World tour for today.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Got the island. He's got it in Scotland, Wales.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
The same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's Steed Scotland for this one. But yeah, sure, this
is a darts brain fart. Scottish darts player Cameron Menzies
was hospitalized. You know need this for darts players very
often because they're such athletes. He was hospitalized after a bizarre,
painful outburst at the Darts Championship. Following his loss, he
tried to put out a lit firework with his hands.
(09:39):
Now you know those ones they have sporting events that
they sit on the ground and just blow sparks up
into the air. He just put his hand over it.
Why because it was celebrating someone else winning. And then
takes his burnt hand off and smashes up a table.
His hand's totally messed up.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
It's giving sore loser.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I wonder ifl he's darting hand that he used, because
that's his that's yeah, what idiot.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But he's apologized to fans. He's got fans, those fat.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Beers swilling cigarettes, smoking heroes dart love thro.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Darts have fans. He says he lost control, really no shit.
Well that was fun. That's around the world.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Around This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So you know how they always talk about females importantly
having this real sense of overwhelm come December.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You call it the mental load.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, yeah, the mental load is massive come December, and
I feel like most women are at the point of burnout.
But I'll tell you who else is just incredibly overwhelmed
at the end.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Of the year. It's our kids. I don't know what yours.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Are, Like, sorry, they're overwhelmed or they're overwhelming both.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
What are they overwhelmed from?
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Like the end of the school year?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
My kids are fighting over anything and everything. They wake
up and they just choose violence.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I don't disagree with you. I just don't know what
it is that's tied them out. Plain and ball and
too many chapter books about flying chairs. I know, what,
are you stressed or tired about it?
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Well, listen, let's cut them some slack. It's been a
big year for them.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
A lot of these parenting educators they do say, be
gentle and be kind, lead with grace because at the
end of the year, kids are completely burnt out, and
it's I think it's because it's starting to come into summer.
Kids are wanting to stay up later, you know, they're
hotter days, their longer days, and it's at the end
of the year and we are just seeing the worst
(11:40):
versions possible of our children big time.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Is it mainly your boys?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Because you and I both have two sons six and eight,
the same ages. But the two boys just know exactly
how to go to each other, particularly the older boy.
It's like he can Henry consents that Oscar's a little tired,
a little stop. He might be right on the edge
of a big breakdown here, and he'll just just go
flicky his finger against his arm or something, and just
(12:05):
knows exactly how to push his buttons.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
My middle child, Bob, he's eight, and he is the
most antagonistic child of all time. Kobe will be sitting
on the floor, my six year old, and Bobby will
just like put his foot right next to his shoulder,
like just his pinky toe, and start like scratching him
with his pinky toe.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And it's just I don't know what he does.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
He just knows where everyone's buttons are and he just
goes in and he slightly gently pushes them, and then
he pushes a little harder until he starts to get
a reaction. And my husband and I have been trying
to tell Kobe, our six year old, you just got
to give him nothing.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
All he wants is for you to fly off the handle,
and if you want to win, you just give him nothing.
But it's like talking to a brick wall.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I'm forty two years old, and I can't ignore it
when someone's trying to provoke me.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Yeah, I get it, So Kobe's just flying off the handle.
But their fights are ridiculous. It's over.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Kobe looked in my direction, Bobby breathed at me, I
want that shoe. No one's ever worn that shoe in
the last two years, but now they're both fighting over
the same shoe.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
He had more jam on his toast.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You could be reading out the script from my house
as well right now, all around the less exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And then, just when women think that they couldn't possibly
have more to pile on there already overwhelming mental load,
you've got these feral kids that just they're.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Just adding to it.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
You know, I got a fix for you. Do you
want to know a hack for the kids At Christmas
time when they're naughty, so have you Christmas tree, yes,
and all the presents underneath it. But what you do
well before Christmas you wrap up a whole bunch of
empty boxes.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
Oh I know where you're going to this.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
And every time they're naughty, I throw a present into
the pool.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Or just in the bin.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, the original version of that hack is into the
fire because it obviously came out of a white Christmas
Northern Hemisphere thing. But yeah, every time you're naughty, beautifully
wrapped present into the pool.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yes, that would be very clever because they always think, oh,
I always say I'm going to take a present away,
but they never see any follow through, so they're just
calling my bluff.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
You have about twenty empty boxes on you.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
I might crush it with my foot, run it over.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
With the car, or set it on fire in the
back fire.
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Done created that al.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Right, empty presents.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
It's what Christmas is all about, guys.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Our producer EGO has been talking all week about this
amazing video on your Socials from the Girls Christmas party
during the week.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Yeah, he's basically a priest.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I went out last weekend I had my girl's Christmas
party who went to this event called the Late Lunch.
They started too, they finished at five point thirty. So
you're in at daylight, you.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Leave at daylight five thirty, five thirty pm. Yes, but
there are at these venues and basically you eat, you
have your lunch, you have a few wines, margaritas, whatever
it is that you like to drink, and then you
dance to old school like R and B.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yes see, I know what music you started.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Amy Gerard, exactly this now. I think they're seeing with Okay,
we're the music's still on.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I think the thing with today's society is everybody has
their phones out these days and they like to capture
fun moments. But the problem is, and me and all
my girlfriends, we're all guilty of this. We're all forty something,
well almost forty in horn dogs and we.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
All love to have a boogie.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, and we're not doing the two step. We're not
shuffling side to side and clicking our fingers. We are
dancing like we are the Dallaes cheerleaders. There's leg kicks,
there's dropping down low, there's hip grinding, there's some air humping. Again,
we're feeling the music. Also, R and B is a
little bit like sensual, right. So there was a lot
(15:52):
of drunk girls, a lot of erotic dancing.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
But here's the thing. It was a safe space.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It was a women's only pretty much event. Some of
the DJs were male, but that's neither here nor there.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
But our producer was absolutely horrified.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I love that you do this, and you talk about
mental load and mental health and people spending time with
their friends. I was going, so, what was this Christmas party?
And you said, oh, it's just my girlfriends. Yes, what
just your friends just getting together and dancing like that
all afternoon.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
Good on you, But that is so important.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I practice that a lot in my life and I
preach about it. Also, if you are not getting outside
of the family home, removing yourself from mum life, wife life,
housework life, and filling up your cup, you're going to
go insane and your cup being filled might not look
the same as how I like to fill mine.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Everyone is going to remove their sash, lift up their dress, and.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Flow their vagina. Yeah, again, that's what I do.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's your cup, that's my That's how I fill my
cup up to the brim.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Sorry, That's how I feel my cup up to that.
That's how you fill your cup up to the red.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
This song's in the video. Could you post it again
for everyone? Because I reckon it's harmless fun.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
The reason why I will not be posting it is
because there are trolls out there who will hold it
against me and say that I'm a trash bag. So
these kind of videos, they go up on my stories,
they live, and they die within twenty four hours.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Did it happen? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You did have to hold your hand over your phone
several times while you would show me the video, so
maybe I'm.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Maybe over that video didn't go up.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
That was me twerking and then I'm one of my
girlfriends flicked my skirt up so you did see my
pancake ass.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
You don't need to see that, all right?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Only all of one hundred and fifty thousand women on
my socials did.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Anyway, it was a good time get out there. You
don't what's that saying?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
They say, you don't stop dancing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop dancing.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
A men's sister.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
That's deep, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
This is Crispage and Amy's ride I.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Would love to talk to you about outsourcing parenting jobs.
Oh yes, because I know, well, a lot of it
has to do with what you can afford to do.
I mean, it's why Elon Musk has twelve kids because exactly,
and al Pacino's gross and eighty two and still having.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Kids because he's got the cash, right, correct.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I don't have a lot of cash, but I'm fortunate
enough to be able to do some school holiday programs.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Oh okay, yeah, and various things.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
But one thing I outsourced during the week, I felt
a sort of pang of guilt while it was happening,
because I sent my two sons, Henry and Oscar, off
to a like pro bike riding school to learn to ride,
though you didn't without steering wheels, because this place.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Steering wheels, steering training wheels. Yeah, I didn't even know
that place like that existed.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Well, I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
My wife suggested it because another friend of hers was
doing it. I'm not blaming her, but and I said, yes,
sounds great, go along with this other family. They the
four kids all learnt to ride the training wills together.
But while it's happening, Georgie's sending me a video of Oscar.
You should Yeah, I feel like maybe that's a You've
(19:19):
dropped the ball there.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
That was your that was your one role as a father.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I think I've got more than one role of other,
but I will concede that. Yeah, first ride without the
training wheels, I felt like a bit of a piece
of crap.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Hey, listen, if there's a if there is somewhere where
you can outsource toilet training, I would have sent all
three of my kids there. I feel like that is
the most horrific stage of parenting and the most frustrating.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And that's the annoying thing when rich people go. I'm
pretty sure Megan actually came out and said, going, yeah, well,
me and Harry, we're caring for the environment.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
We're using clath nappies.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Oh yeah, because you're not changing or washing them.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
You throwing them in the wash.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
So where how quickly did your kids learn to ride
without training wheels?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Pretty quick, because admittedly they're six and eight. Henry the
eight year old probably, I mean his little friends are
already doing it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
So again, I'd dropped the ball there.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
And you just never tried.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
He's never honestly, he's never.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Been taken an interest yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
A huge bike rider.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
He's very active, but he plays his footy out in
the backyard. He gets home from school, runs outside to
kick his footy around, and he recreates all the moves
from his favorite players, and that's his thing and he's happy.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
So I've never really pushed him into bike riding.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But well, look, I'm giving his shtick about it. But realistically,
it's kind of like how we outsaw swimming lessons. Yeah,
so all three of my kids we have a pool. Realistically,
my husband or I could have taught all three of
our kids to swim, but one, I feel like parents
don't have the time these days. And two you almost
want them to be kind of trained properly by actual
(21:03):
swimming instructors who teach them how to float on their back.
I mean again, all stop, I could probably learn and well, yeah,
but I do understand, like, actually, I don't you have
so much free time you gotta thrown them yourself.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
All right, I've got one for you.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
My next big challenge your father. I mean, they're probably
something else in the next ten years or so.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Learning to drive.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Oh, I remember my parents teaching me to drive, But
now everywhere you go it's those driving school cars. And
you say about teaching someone properly. I mean, when was
the last time you did your license test? Like, and
they go, oh, is it illegal to make a left Turney?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
I just drive it. I just do it. But is
that an okay one to outsource?
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I definitely think it is.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I remember my dad teaching me how to drive, and
I just remember him getting incredibly frustrated with me. I
think I left him on a hill start once and
pulled the handbrake up and got out and walked off.
It's better to do it with somebody who you're not
close with, so you can't take your frustration out on
each other.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
You took your half finished bottle of wine and no
one got out and said that's a sixteen.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
I was on line then. Anyway, outsossing parenting, I'm here
for it. Okay, Okay, you're okay.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I just feel like I missed a big father son
moment there. It's all right, We'll go to the movies
or something this week so I can fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
This is Cris Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
This is kiss You're with Chris and Amy in the morning.
Almost time for us to get out of here. But
next it's your chance to unlock the summer of a
lifetime the Kiss ten k giveaway. The winning starts next,
but first.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Let's nailed it or failed it.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
We'd just like to finish the show on a Saturday
with a bit of self reflection and look back at
the week at some things we nailed and maybe not
so much.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, you want to go positive first? It's Christmas?
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Why not my nailed it this week?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Is I Actually we did a little small small business
shout out last weekend and one of them was this
online grosser. It's called Dimples and they basically sell direct
from the warehouse straight to your door, so you're bypassing
all your calls will his Ida.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So it's just a live reader.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Are we in the middle of a brother? Are you
in the ads already?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
These aren't the ads. Anyway, I looked into it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
They have a really fantastic Christmas menu so you can
get all your prawns and your oysters and your hamm.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You know this is illegal.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You can't take things for free and then get on
air and give them an ad.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's not a This.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Is not an ad. I paid for it, like every
single other person.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
But the best thing about these guys is that it
gets delivered to your door on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yeah, dimpleles guys.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
And if you get on now and use the discount
code Amy twenty, then I really look after you.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
There's no discount code and it's too late.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Now you've missed the boat. But that was one lessing.
And honestly, who wants to fight the crowds?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Okay, Christmas Eve nailed it?
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Now what's yours? What do you nail?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Oh? No? I started building a retaining wall and I
felt like a real man.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
I was lifting up sleepers, got they're heavy.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Are you a landscaper now, I think I am.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Well, we're actually looking to get some landscaping done, so
maybe we might get you around for a quote.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, oh my, prices are competitive, so you're.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
A one man band, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Will work for food?
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Yea yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, all right, yeah, okay, I wish you'll failed it
for the week.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Oh my failed for full transparency. I was the worst
mum ever.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Thursday's Friday.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
They say that the kids are overwhelmed and you know,
end of year school fatigue.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
But I'll tell you what I think. I trump them.
I'd try to be a really great mum, and I
pride myself on being quite warm and.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Loving and all those kind of things, especially in the
lead up to Christmas. But I was none of them.
During the week. I swore, I swore, I try.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
Not to swear.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Some slurs in there as well.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Normally I swear behind their back or not.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Has been slurring because you've been drinking, not like racial slips.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
There was no racial slurs and I was drinking.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I was just at capacity and they were not listening.
They were feral, and I was feral, and I swore
at them and I did repair, which is the most
important thing.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Don't beat yourself up. You lost it.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
You're a mum in school holidays, it's nearly Christmas. You're
all right, thank you, you're a great mum.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
But still fail. You're a great mum, but.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
My fail for the week. Look, it doesn't sound like much,
but I lost a vape.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Oh and was it a fresh one?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
But I lost it somewhere in the house and I'm
pretty sure it's in the wash because I quickly before
I came to work through a whole bunch of stuff
in the wash. Then couldn't find it anyway, not a
big deal. But I know that I'm going to get
home and my wife will be like, Hi found no kids.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
A little toy here for the kids.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Also, I think they're like redundant after they've been through
the wash, right, surely because there's a battery inside.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Yeah, I fell into the pool with one once and
there do we need to have a talk about your.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Kidding?
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Anyway?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
They're illegal and of course yeah if that is now
that I failed it for this week, we'll see you
eight o'clock tomorrow morning.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Guys, be in the morning.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
By wait
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, Sir, let's go. Let's good morning. That remains to
be seen. Chris Page and Amy Gerard in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Hey, good morning everyone, Hallow, Amy Gerard, Good morning, Paigey.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Let's just stay off the top.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We'd like to keep it light and fun today, but
it does feel a little weird to get on air
for the first time after the events in BONDI last
Sunday night without touching on it briefly this morning, because
I know it's knocked us both around personally.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
It has honestly been the heaviest week.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Hard to kind of keep moving forward, because I mean,
life never stops, but it's hard to kind of just
keep going on knowing that what other people, especially the
Jewish community, have been put through.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I have never had news fatigueeah like I have in
the past week of having to turn it off and
even but because it's everywhere, it's very difficult to escape it.
And I just after you see that footage, for whatever reason,
it's the eightieth or the hundredth time you see it
being showing to your face, it just breaks you.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Well, It just.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Hit home so hard for me because literally, on the
day that it happened, when that poor little ten year
old girl Matilda lost her life, I was literally celebrating
my ten year old daughter's birthday, and so the way
it hit home for me, I just I could not
even fathom what her parents and it is just so
(01:50):
utterly devastating. My heart just goes out to every single
person affected.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
And yeah, it's a really sad time for.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
It's a fine balance, isn't it, of shutting yourself into
a cocoon and going I just can't watch or read
any more about this. But then I also feel selfish
because I know how bad people are suffering, but you
have more about some point, yeah, to help the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Exactly right, And I think it sometimes, I don't think
it is selfish to, you know, put your phone down
and kind of focus in on your family and your
kids and just really kind of envelope them in love
and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
This is Chris Page and Amy's Ride five Sleeps Christmas.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I am getting excited, and I'll tell you how.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I know.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
I start with the Christmas movies.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I know no one watches Free to Wear anymore, but
they do all the classics do start popping up on
you know.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I actually was watching Free to Air the other day
the Holiday was on.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah, that is a absolute crowd favorite with me and
my mum.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Now remind me because it's one of Georgie's favorites.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
So Cameron and.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
They swap homes.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So Kate Winslet goes to America and she has like
a summary warm Christmas, and then Cameron Diaz.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Goes to the UK and she meets Jude Law.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Yes, and he is so fine the movie.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Who's the American bloke for Kate Winsley?
Speaker 5 (03:11):
Jack Black? No, he's very good.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Who drew the short straw?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
There?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Jude Law or Jack Black?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
No?
Speaker 5 (03:20):
You can't help but fall in love with Jack Black?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
It is such a.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Good movie, a real feel good movie. Highly recommend, especially
for all the women listening.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I think every woman listening. But you've sold me on it.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I'll check it chair watch with Georgie. Well, I don't
mind an annual viewing of love. Actually, it's sort of
one of those things where it's like spaghetti bowl and
as for dinner, you go, oh yeah, spag ball, but
then you're eating it and.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
You go, actually, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's really good, and there's a reason why you watch
this over and over again.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
And there's a lot of very funny bits in it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Obviously home alone. I'm a big fan of number one.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
One and two obviously. Yeah, both great.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Which do you prefer?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I prefer too Lost in New York.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Yeah, I'll just go because it's New York, I think.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, I do love the city of New York.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
And also it's just horrifically violent for a children's film,
throwing bricks at their head off a four story townhouse
and you go, those blokes would be dead fifty times.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
They would have died within the first three minutes of
the film.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
What about Elf Love, Elf Love?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Will Ferrell, Yes, watched it with the kids for the
first time the other night.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Did they like it?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, they're into it now. They I tried a few
years ago with are a bit young to get it? Yep,
now they're yeah, they cli Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
What about National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's a classic, But I haven't done that with the
little kids yet. I think there's a bit of there's
a bit of rude gear in there.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, Okay, but I mean my kids have watched Billy
Madison and Happy Gilmour, so we just kind of like
glaze over that part.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
It's a good one.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Have you showing your kids your favorite Christmas movie, Bad Santa?
I have not Billy Bob Thornton my whole pass. Ye.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
He's not as attractive in that movie he's meant to be. No,
he's definitely not. I am yet to watch that with
my kids. I might watch that tonight with Ryan.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
You know, a great one.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
If you're going to just plick on something iron, don't
warn him at all for a Christmas movie.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Go hey, this is one.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Paigey recommended Terrifier three with the Clown. It's an lovely
horror film, well horror slash comedy, according to the the imdbit.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I remember you still showed me that one tiny scene
where yep, and I still replay that in my brain
when I lie in bed at night.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Don't you'll love the opening scene of Terrifire three. No,
it happens in a family home, the kids are asleep. No,
it's all beautiful and a friendly Christmas clown comes to visit.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I'm going to watch the Holiday again.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Now, usually I start a new segment, I come in,
I'm full of ideas, Yes you are, and you hear
them and you go no.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
You're full of shit and you don't like idea of them.
This one I think worked out.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Okay, I love this one.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And Lord knows we need some good news stories this
week of all the time.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
So let's go around the world.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Around.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Here's how it works.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They just press a button, it plays me some music
and we know what story the country is from that
we're going to talk about. So let's go story number
one here, America.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
You got it?
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I normally say Britain. I'm not making that mistake twice.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Now, this one's the good old USA. A.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Actually that's a terrible story. A deer in a shop.
Who cares. I'll just go to the next one.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
By the UK.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Yes, you are correct.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Here the world's fastest garden shed has been discovered in
the UK.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
The world's fastest garden garden shed.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
I piqued your interest. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
It's just shattered expectations. A block named Brian Cade. Well done.
Brian has built a shed on a chassis and turbo
charged it to hit one hundred and twenty three miles
an hour. That's just under two hundred k's an hour.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But this makes no sense. Why does he put his
garden shed on wheels.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Because he's awesome?
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Well? I just yeah, okay, is he gonna?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't know if he needs other people to build them?
Now for shed racing, yes, okay, has a wooden exterior
steering wheel and a V eight engine.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Is someone inside steering it?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, it's racing down airfields at dizzying speeds.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Previous here we go.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
The previous record held by another shed lover, oh Okay
named Kevin Nix, was only one hundred and six miles
an hour. Wow, so he smashed it by twenty miles.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Are you taking your lawnmower out? Or is everything staying in?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I think you take everything out because you don't want
it to be too heavy. It's just a tin shed
on wheels with a V.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Eight engine and a steering wheel. Wow, I reckon they're yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Well I say they're awesome, but I wouldn't let them
babysit my kids.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
No.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Where are we going next?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Oh? I mean the Pussycat Dolls, but it was the
only music from close Turkey, Turkey fi.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
All right, but I'm lad it is a pussycat dolls.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I'm glad because it's a sexy story out of Turkey.
It's about first trapping your marriag.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Oh oh, I think I've heard this. You have.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
They've passed a new law in Turkey that liking someone
else's photos on social media.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Liking another woman's photos.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Right, well, if you're a bloke, yes, I mean hello,
women can like blokes photos too. It goes both ways.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Not often.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
If her husband repeatedly likes another woman's post, yeah, that's
ground for divorce and a court will grant her the
divorce based on thirst.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Trick. I did read this. Didn't their husband like repeatedly
like the.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Same woman's photo over and over and they basically deemed
it like infidelity?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Wild, I mean I do.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I I like all your photos and you like Charlie
Charlie from High five.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
But she's my friend.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, I know, she's my friend and looks good in
a bikini like we think you only like her bikini photos.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Though, are they? It's the algorithm? She must be all that.
It shows me.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Yeah, you never like and the ones with their family or.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
She has a family.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Come on last stop on the World tour for today.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Got the island. He's got it in Scotland, Wales.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
The same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's Steed Scotland for this one. But yeah, sure, this
is a darts brain fart. Scottish darts player Cameron Menzies
was hospitalized. You know need this for darts players very
often because they're such athletes. He was hospitalized after a bizarre,
painful outburst at the Darts Championship. Following his loss, he
tried to put out a lit firework with his hands.
(09:39):
Now you know those ones they have sporting events that
they sit on the ground and just blow sparks up
into the air. He just put his hand over it.
Why because it was celebrating someone else winning. And then
takes his burnt hand off and smashes up a table.
His hand's totally messed up.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
It's giving sore loser.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I wonder ifl he's darting hand that he used, because
that's his that's yeah, what idiot.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But he's apologized to fans. He's got fans, those fat.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Beers swilling cigarettes, smoking heroes dart love thro.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Darts have fans. He says he lost control, really no shit.
Well that was fun. That's around the world.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Around This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So you know how they always talk about females importantly
having this real sense of overwhelm come December.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You call it the mental load.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, yeah, the mental load is massive come December, and
I feel like most women are at the point of burnout.
But I'll tell you who else is just incredibly overwhelmed
at the end.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Of the year. It's our kids. I don't know what yours.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Are, Like, sorry, they're overwhelmed or they're overwhelming both.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
What are they overwhelmed from?
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Like the end of the school year?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
My kids are fighting over anything and everything. They wake
up and they just choose violence.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I don't disagree with you. I just don't know what
it is that's tied them out. Plain and ball and
too many chapter books about flying chairs. I know, what,
are you stressed or tired about it?
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Well, listen, let's cut them some slack. It's been a
big year for them.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
A lot of these parenting educators they do say, be
gentle and be kind, lead with grace because at the
end of the year, kids are completely burnt out, and
it's I think it's because it's starting to come into summer.
Kids are wanting to stay up later, you know, they're
hotter days, their longer days, and it's at the end
of the year and we are just seeing the worst
(11:40):
versions possible of our children big time.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Is it mainly your boys?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Because you and I both have two sons six and eight,
the same ages. But the two boys just know exactly
how to go to each other, particularly the older boy.
It's like he can Henry consents that Oscar's a little tired,
a little stop. He might be right on the edge
of a big breakdown here, and he'll just just go
flicky his finger against his arm or something, and just
(12:05):
knows exactly how to push his buttons.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
My middle child, Bob, he's eight, and he is the
most antagonistic child of all time. Kobe will be sitting
on the floor, my six year old, and Bobby will
just like put his foot right next to his shoulder,
like just his pinky toe, and start like scratching him
with his pinky toe.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And it's just I don't know what he does.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
He just knows where everyone's buttons are and he just
goes in and he slightly gently pushes them, and then
he pushes a little harder until he starts to get
a reaction. And my husband and I have been trying
to tell Kobe, our six year old, you just got
to give him nothing.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
All he wants is for you to fly off the handle,
and if you want to win, you just give him nothing.
But it's like talking to a brick wall.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I'm forty two years old, and I can't ignore it
when someone's trying to provoke me.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Yeah, I get it, So Kobe's just flying off the handle.
But their fights are ridiculous. It's over.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Kobe looked in my direction, Bobby breathed at me, I
want that shoe. No one's ever worn that shoe in
the last two years, but now they're both fighting over
the same shoe.
Speaker 5 (13:09):
He had more jam on his toast.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You could be reading out the script from my house
as well right now, all around the less exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And then, just when women think that they couldn't possibly
have more to pile on there already overwhelming mental load,
you've got these feral kids that just they're.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Just adding to it.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
You know, I got a fix for you. Do you
want to know a hack for the kids At Christmas
time when they're naughty, so have you Christmas tree, yes,
and all the presents underneath it. But what you do
well before Christmas you wrap up a whole bunch of
empty boxes.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
Oh I know where you're going to this.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
And every time they're naughty, I throw a present into
the pool.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Or just in the bin.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, the original version of that hack is into the
fire because it obviously came out of a white Christmas
Northern Hemisphere thing. But yeah, every time you're naughty, beautifully
wrapped present into the pool.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yes, that would be very clever because they always think, oh,
I always say I'm going to take a present away,
but they never see any follow through, so they're just
calling my bluff.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
You have about twenty empty boxes on you.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
I might crush it with my foot, run it over.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
With the car, or set it on fire in the
back fire.
Speaker 5 (14:17):
Done created that al.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Right, empty presents.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
It's what Christmas is all about, guys.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Our producer EGO has been talking all week about this
amazing video on your Socials from the Girls Christmas party
during the week.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Yeah, he's basically a priest.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I went out last weekend I had my girl's Christmas
party who went to this event called the Late Lunch.
They started too, they finished at five point thirty. So
you're in at daylight, you.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Leave at daylight five thirty, five thirty pm. Yes, but
there are at these venues and basically you eat, you
have your lunch, you have a few wines, margaritas, whatever
it is that you like to drink, and then you
dance to old school like R and B.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yes see, I know what music you started.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Amy Gerard, exactly this now. I think they're seeing with Okay,
we're the music's still on.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I think the thing with today's society is everybody has
their phones out these days and they like to capture
fun moments. But the problem is, and me and all
my girlfriends, we're all guilty of this. We're all forty something,
well almost forty in horn dogs and we.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
All love to have a boogie.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, and we're not doing the two step. We're not
shuffling side to side and clicking our fingers. We are
dancing like we are the Dallaes cheerleaders. There's leg kicks,
there's dropping down low, there's hip grinding, there's some air humping. Again,
we're feeling the music. Also, R and B is a
little bit like sensual, right. So there was a lot
(15:52):
of drunk girls, a lot of erotic dancing.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
But here's the thing. It was a safe space.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It was a women's only pretty much event. Some of
the DJs were male, but that's neither here nor there.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
But our producer was absolutely horrified.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I love that you do this, and you talk about
mental load and mental health and people spending time with
their friends. I was going, so, what was this Christmas party?
And you said, oh, it's just my girlfriends. Yes, what
just your friends just getting together and dancing like that
all afternoon.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
Good on you, But that is so important.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I practice that a lot in my life and I
preach about it. Also, if you are not getting outside
of the family home, removing yourself from mum life, wife life,
housework life, and filling up your cup, you're going to
go insane and your cup being filled might not look
the same as how I like to fill mine.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Everyone is going to remove their sash, lift up their dress, and.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Flow their vagina. Yeah, again, that's what I do.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
That's your cup, that's my That's how I fill my
cup up to the brim.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Sorry, That's how I feel my cup up to that.
That's how you fill your cup up to the red.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
This song's in the video. Could you post it again
for everyone? Because I reckon it's harmless fun.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
The reason why I will not be posting it is
because there are trolls out there who will hold it
against me and say that I'm a trash bag. So
these kind of videos, they go up on my stories,
they live, and they die within twenty four hours.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Did it happen? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You did have to hold your hand over your phone
several times while you would show me the video, so
maybe I'm.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Maybe over that video didn't go up.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
That was me twerking and then I'm one of my
girlfriends flicked my skirt up so you did see my
pancake ass.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
You don't need to see that, all right?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Only all of one hundred and fifty thousand women on
my socials did.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Anyway, it was a good time get out there. You
don't what's that saying?
Speaker 1 (17:50):
They say, you don't stop dancing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop dancing.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
A men's sister.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
That's deep, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
This is Crispage and Amy's ride I.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Would love to talk to you about outsourcing parenting jobs.
Oh yes, because I know, well, a lot of it
has to do with what you can afford to do.
I mean, it's why Elon Musk has twelve kids because exactly,
and al Pacino's gross and eighty two and still having.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Kids because he's got the cash, right, correct.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I don't have a lot of cash, but I'm fortunate
enough to be able to do some school holiday programs.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Oh okay, yeah, and various things.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
But one thing I outsourced during the week, I felt
a sort of pang of guilt while it was happening,
because I sent my two sons, Henry and Oscar, off
to a like pro bike riding school to learn to ride,
though you didn't without steering wheels, because this place.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
Steering wheels, steering training wheels. Yeah, I didn't even know
that place like that existed.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Well, I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
My wife suggested it because another friend of hers was
doing it. I'm not blaming her, but and I said, yes,
sounds great, go along with this other family. They the
four kids all learnt to ride the training wills together.
But while it's happening, Georgie's sending me a video of Oscar.
You should Yeah, I feel like maybe that's a You've
(19:19):
dropped the ball there.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
That was your that was your one role as a father.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I think I've got more than one role of other,
but I will concede that. Yeah, first ride without the
training wheels, I felt like a bit of a piece
of crap.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Hey, listen, if there's a if there is somewhere where
you can outsource toilet training, I would have sent all
three of my kids there. I feel like that is
the most horrific stage of parenting and the most frustrating.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And that's the annoying thing when rich people go. I'm
pretty sure Megan actually came out and said, going, yeah, well,
me and Harry, we're caring for the environment.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
We're using clath nappies.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Oh yeah, because you're not changing or washing them.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
You throwing them in the wash.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
So where how quickly did your kids learn to ride
without training wheels?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Pretty quick, because admittedly they're six and eight. Henry the
eight year old probably, I mean his little friends are
already doing it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
So again, I'd dropped the ball there.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
And you just never tried.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
He's never honestly, he's never.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Been taken an interest yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
A huge bike rider.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
He's very active, but he plays his footy out in
the backyard. He gets home from school, runs outside to
kick his footy around, and he recreates all the moves
from his favorite players, and that's his thing and he's happy.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
So I've never really pushed him into bike riding.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But well, look, I'm giving his shtick about it. But realistically,
it's kind of like how we outsaw swimming lessons. Yeah,
so all three of my kids we have a pool. Realistically,
my husband or I could have taught all three of
our kids to swim, but one, I feel like parents
don't have the time these days. And two you almost
want them to be kind of trained properly by actual
(21:03):
swimming instructors who teach them how to float on their back.
I mean again, all stop, I could probably learn and well, yeah,
but I do understand, like, actually, I don't you have
so much free time you gotta thrown them yourself.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
All right, I've got one for you.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
My next big challenge your father. I mean, they're probably
something else in the next ten years or so.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Learning to drive.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Oh, I remember my parents teaching me to drive, But
now everywhere you go it's those driving school cars. And
you say about teaching someone properly. I mean, when was
the last time you did your license test? Like, and
they go, oh, is it illegal to make a left Turney?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
I just drive it. I just do it. But is
that an okay one to outsource?
Speaker 5 (21:47):
I definitely think it is.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I remember my dad teaching me how to drive, and
I just remember him getting incredibly frustrated with me. I
think I left him on a hill start once and
pulled the handbrake up and got out and walked off.
It's better to do it with somebody who you're not
close with, so you can't take your frustration out on
each other.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
You took your half finished bottle of wine and no
one got out and said that's a sixteen.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
I was on line then. Anyway, outsossing parenting, I'm here
for it. Okay, Okay, you're okay.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
I just feel like I missed a big father son
moment there. It's all right, We'll go to the movies
or something this week so I can fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
This is Cris Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
This is kiss You're with Chris and Amy in the morning.
Almost time for us to get out of here. But
next it's your chance to unlock the summer of a
lifetime the Kiss ten k giveaway. The winning starts next,
but first.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Let's nailed it or failed it.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
We'd just like to finish the show on a Saturday
with a bit of self reflection and look back at
the week at some things we nailed and maybe not
so much.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, you want to go positive first? It's Christmas?
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Why not my nailed it this week?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Is I Actually we did a little small small business
shout out last weekend and one of them was this
online grosser. It's called Dimples and they basically sell direct
from the warehouse straight to your door, so you're bypassing
all your calls will his Ida.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So it's just a live reader.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Are we in the middle of a brother? Are you
in the ads already?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:18):
These aren't the ads. Anyway, I looked into it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
They have a really fantastic Christmas menu so you can
get all your prawns and your oysters and your hamm.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You know this is illegal.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
You can't take things for free and then get on
air and give them an ad.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's not a This.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Is not an ad. I paid for it, like every
single other person.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
But the best thing about these guys is that it
gets delivered to your door on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yeah, dimpleles guys.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
And if you get on now and use the discount
code Amy twenty, then I really look after you.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
There's no discount code and it's too late.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Now you've missed the boat. But that was one lessing.
And honestly, who wants to fight the crowds?
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Okay, Christmas Eve nailed it?
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Now what's yours? What do you nail?
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Oh? No? I started building a retaining wall and I
felt like a real man.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
I was lifting up sleepers, got they're heavy.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Are you a landscaper now, I think I am.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Well, we're actually looking to get some landscaping done, so
maybe we might get you around for a quote.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, oh my, prices are competitive, so you're.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
A one man band, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Will work for food?
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Yea yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, all right, yeah, okay, I wish you'll failed it
for the week.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Oh my failed for full transparency. I was the worst
mum ever.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Thursday's Friday.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
They say that the kids are overwhelmed and you know,
end of year school fatigue.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
But I'll tell you what I think. I trump them.
I'd try to be a really great mum, and I
pride myself on being quite warm and.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Loving and all those kind of things, especially in the
lead up to Christmas. But I was none of them.
During the week. I swore, I swore, I try.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
Not to swear.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Some slurs in there as well.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Normally I swear behind their back or not.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Has been slurring because you've been drinking, not like racial slips.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
There was no racial slurs and I was drinking.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I was just at capacity and they were not listening.
They were feral, and I was feral, and I swore
at them and I did repair, which is the most
important thing.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Don't beat yourself up. You lost it.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
You're a mum in school holidays, it's nearly Christmas. You're
all right, thank you, you're a great mum.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
But still fail. You're a great mum, but.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
My fail for the week. Look, it doesn't sound like much,
but I lost a vape.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Oh and was it a fresh one?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
But I lost it somewhere in the house and I'm
pretty sure it's in the wash because I quickly before
I came to work through a whole bunch of stuff
in the wash. Then couldn't find it anyway, not a
big deal. But I know that I'm going to get
home and my wife will be like, Hi found no kids.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
A little toy here for the kids.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Also, I think they're like redundant after they've been through
the wash, right, surely because there's a battery inside.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Yeah, I fell into the pool with one once and
there do we need to have a talk about your.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Kidding?
Speaker 5 (26:11):
Anyway?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
They're illegal and of course yeah if that is now
that I failed it for this week, we'll see you
eight o'clock tomorrow morning.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Guys, be in the morning.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
By wait
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