December 5, 2025 • 30 mins
It’s a chaotic Saturday with Chris & Amy as Amy relives the worst Christmas gifts ever - including her deeply religious uncle giving her kids a single balloon, chalk and an already-opened jar of Vegemite. The pair whip around the world with drunk raccoons, a seagull taking out Miss World NZ mid-report, and Oxford’s Word of the Year: “rage bait.” They unpack Christmas party disasters (including Amy vomiting on a client), the Bunnings snag scandal that set Australia off, and why Americans think Aussies are unhinged. Plus: recreating 90s childhoods, forcing kids to watch old movies, and a fresh round of Nailed It or Failed It featuring a wall-destroying walking pad and Chris’ foaming drain explosion.
Chapters
00:00 – Spotify Wrapped & Music Chat
03:00 – Worst Christmas Gifts Ever
07:00 – Around the World: Raccoon, Seagull & “Rage Bait”
12:00 – Christmas Party Disasters
17:00 – The Bunnings Snag Outrage
19:30 – Aussies vs Americans: Who’s More Feral?
21:30 – 90s Childhood Nostalgia
24:00 – Kids & Old Movies
26:00 – Nailed It
27:30 – Failed It
30:00 – Final Goodbye
Keywords
Chris & Amy podcast, KIIS FM, Amy Gerard Christmas gifts, worst presents, drunk raccoon story, seagull reporter video, rage bait word of the year, Bunnings sausage drama, Christmas party fails, Aussie nostalgia, 90s kids, Nailed It or Failed It, Australian radio comedy.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I Heart Podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, sir, I'm talking.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Let's go. Let's good morning that remains to be seen
Chris Page and Amy Yards in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Good morning everyone, Hello sunshine.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
Good morning, good money?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (00:40):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I'm good. Have you been bombarded on your socials this
week with everyone Spotify? Well, how'd you go when you
look back at the year, how was your music taste?
Speaker 5 (00:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
My top genres, I'll talk you through them. My first
one was R and B standard.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Now you put on R and B like nineties. R
and B is your love making plays. So it's been
a good year for rhyme.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I don't. I used to do that back before I
was married.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
I used to light candle and put like really sexy
music on. Yeah, and then I got married.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
What are you listening to now?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
Nothing?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Just close your eyes and think about something else.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Think about the shopping I need to do.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So R and B was my top, and then rap,
which is surprising, and then I've got country.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
I know you like your country music. Who's your favorite?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
The Stapleton I like, well, I like Chris Stapleton I
like Zach Brian and then House, which is very surprising
because I actually don't like house.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
What is house like house music?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
What's a house song? While you're looking for that, I'll
tell you. The number one song in Australia for twenty
twenty five was Alex Warrender Ordinary was number one. Not
such a good year for Ossie artists. On the spotify
vance joy Riptide, which is eleven years old, was the
(02:00):
top Australian song. I feel like anyone with young kids
is going to have a pretty warped year in review
music wise, because so much of it you're in the
car and the kids go, put that on again, and
you know, the same song over and over. My entire
top five was baby Lullaby music that I put on
every night for yourself. Well no, well that was in there,
(02:20):
so the baby Lallaby Music's while Henry goes to sleep.
And then the rest of the top ten was like
Meditation Drone that was me, almost white noise that I
put on my life sleep.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That was me last year, I think because I've started
doing some walks this year and I listened to music
when I do walking.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
But I did get this.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It said that my listening age is twenty one, so
it's keeping me youthful.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
You go, white girl, hahaha.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Today is Saturday, the sixth of December, which means Amy dryid.
There are nineteen sleeps until Santa Claus comes. Boys and girls.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Wow, that's gonna be here in the blink of an eye.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
You love Christmas?
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I do love Christmas. You know what I don't love
about Christmas? Shit? Christmas presents. Have you ever received one?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah? A stack?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I mean, I'm gonna I reckon I can top yours.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
It actually came from a family member of mine. I
can guarantee he's not listening. He's very Christian. He'd be
listening to some biblical radio station. But he is an
uncle of mine. I won't say which one because there
are five of them. But for Christmas one year, I
got a really hard, heavy present. I was like, what
(03:32):
on earth is this? I open it up, it's a
jar of vegimite.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I was like, is it one of those the special
promotional ones where they put your name on it or
something like that boat cans.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Or no no, no, no name on it.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And at first I was like, that's very odd. But
you know what I do enjoy veggimi. I love vegimi
on toast in the morning. It'll get used the.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Cost of living. You know, that'll save you six bucks.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
He is my favorite part.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
They were doing a giveaway, some sort of Christmas giveaway,
and inside the lids of all these vegimar jars there
was potentially a hidden gold token or something, so you
had to unscrew it, open it, and then register your
barkat whatever. Anyway, So this uncle of mine has opened
the veggiemite, removed the token, and obviously he tried his
(04:19):
luck sealed it and wrapped.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
It for me.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Wow, and I just like, firstly, I'm pretty sure the
jar was three dollars and then you what, you can't
even give me the chance of winning potentially.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That is pathetic.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Pathetic.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Got'd be like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory of
Grandpa Joe was like, hey, Charlie, I got your bar
of Wonka chocolate. He was like, Grandpa's it's already open,
Like you already checked for the golden ticket.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yes, well, he's consistently bad at gift giving. Yes, we
always know to expect absolute garbage.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Last year, for my children.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
He gave one of them a balloon, like just just
a balloon, so you know the packets and balloons that
you buy, and bw a dollar a balloon.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Kobe got a balloon. Did no, he did it. It
wasn't blown up. Bobby got a stick of chalk. Are
we being punched?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Like? Maybe just don't don't give us anything or write
us a nice card. But with each crappy gift, he
writes us verses from God, and there's lots of church
related stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Well, I mean he's giving you eternal life and cleansing
your soul. I mean that's that's worth more than of
jarvegmight anyhow is.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
But my oldest daughter she got you know those party poppers.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yep, she got one of them, one of those. Ye
just one, but seconds of fun.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You can't exactly, but you can't give three kids three
different prizes, especially when they're all dog pooh like.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
That and sound like they came out of last year's bond.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Borns exactly right, that's right, or you've got yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I remember as a kid, and I'll get in trouble
for telling this story, but we want to do it.
One year, because it was pretty bad. One year, my
dad gave my mom a new bin in the kitchen.
And now I realize what it was like, you know,
in love actually, when Emma Thompson thinks that Alan Rickman
is giving her the beautiful jewelry that she saw him
buy and she opens it up and it's the Joni
(06:19):
Mitchell CD. And she sort of goes, just give me
a minute, and like goes off and then comes back
and goes, Okay, it was that, but it was a bin.
And it was like you said, you wanted a new
bin for the kitchen, but which is not for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
For Christmas, you never buy a woman anything kitchen laundry
related for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
I don't think you did it again. Anyway, Good luck
with your shopping. Everyone do better than that.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
This is Chris Page and Amy Jerrard.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We're gonna have a laugh. We're gonna go around the
world around so it's easy. I've got a random country
button here I'm gonna press. It's gonna play the music
for that country, and we'll pluck out the good news
story from that country anymore into Yeah, good.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Should take note.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Oh here we go.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
We're after Britain.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The United States of America last week as well. Don't worry,
it's not Donald Trump. This is a fun story out
of America about a drunk raccoon. A very intoxicated raccoon
broke into a liquor store in Ashland, Virginia, smashing bottles
of scotch and whiskey, knocking over shelves and even crashing
(07:38):
through a ceiling tile before finally passing out face first
on the bathroom floor.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
No, how do they know that?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
The security cameras animal control people scooped up the passed
out trash panda, let it sober up at the shelter,
so he even went to the.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Drunk tank, so he's gone to rehab yet.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And then released it back into the wild.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Hopefully they gave it a double cheeseburger and a coke zero.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Okay, where are we going next? This is New Zealand
with Dave Dobbin. Get to Chili Box. It is chili
been well, there's been a bird attack in New Zealand.
News reported Jessica Tyson, Gorgeous Lady, a former Miss World
(08:26):
New Zealand, was filming a live segment for t O
with Moana in downtown Auckland. There's a prick of a city,
just a horrible place. When a rogue seagull flew straight
into her face mid report gave her a black.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Eye and a cut, that's pretty unheard of.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Have a listen, wardrobe is.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Going to be short lived. S Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, you're bleeding, am I?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And look at that. She's even posted a photo of
her gash online. She's bleeding.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Yeah, I know what you're doing as well. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
If you want to see it's a great video, just
google Miss World New Zealand gash and you can check
it out. All right. Where we go next?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Yes, the UK?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
This one's the UK. God, say my queen, the Motherland.
This is high brown. We're going to Oxford University, home
of the Oxford Dictionary, where they've released twenty twenty five's
word of the Year. Oh, they do this every year.
So in the last few years we've had brain rot.
Was last year riz goblin mode, remember that I didn't
(09:40):
go anywhere, and this year this year is rage bait.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Rage bait.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Very timely, I feel because that's pretty much we talk
about why there's no good news. I feel like everything
online now is designed to make you angry and sort
of you know, you click on oh what's what's she done? Now? Well,
ib chatfield, I.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Think of clickbait, and obviously clickbait leures even me.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
And it's more engaging. If you are angry, outraged, you're
more likely to do it. And it's how Twitter, Instagram,
it's how the algorithms work. They will give you things
to feed your life.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I've never understood that, you know, like people follow people
on socials as a hate follow. I've never understood that
if I don't like someone, I just instantly removed them
from my life.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Or you could set up a fake account and abuse them.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
That's what you do in your now.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Yeah, where's last stop on the tour today? Australia. This
is from the ABS, the Australian Bureau of Statistics. I
know it sounds fascinating. They've given up collecting data on
smokers in Australia because they always had the stats going
this is how much tax we collect, this is how
(10:50):
many people smoke, and how many packets of cigarettes they're buying.
They've given up because they now estimate that by next year,
eighty percent of tobacco sales in Australia will be illegal
black market. They got greedy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
They taxed them too much, of course they did.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
You push smokers and pushed them. You told them they
couldn't smoke inside, then they couldn't smoke within ten meters
of the door there also, you can't you can't smoke anywhere.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Now and rightly so.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Do you remember going out and then coming home smelling
like an ashtraight?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I miss it. It had a good night in your
hair as well as your.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Hair, your hair, your clothes.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
I wasn't even a smoker. I smelled like tobacco for
like fifteen years.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
But they're addicted to revenues, so they were making billions
and they just kept cranking up the cigarette tacks and
then you pushed them too far. Yeah, they're buying the
chop chop from the tobacconist and vapes.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, I can imagine vape sales of filthy habits taken over.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
That's around the world this week around I just realized
around the world was America, England, New Zealand, and Australia.
It's pretty western. It's not diverse. Yeah, well I checked Africa.
It wasn't It wasn't much field good stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It is work Chris party season. A lot of places
have already had them. Kisses. Big Christmas party is this
Friday night, Amy, Yes, yeah, so yeah, yeah, I'll be there. Yeah,
I won't be drinking, So that's going to be a
really great night. But they're so fraught with danger and
like in this day and age, with how safe everyone is,
(12:31):
and you know, the email always goes out on the
day of the party from hr going. Remember it might
be at a venue, but it's still a work event
and hear all the guidelines.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
God, you should work in advertising that My Christmas parties
back when I used to work in advertising were wild.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
No emails like that went out.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
I reckon. Christmas parties everywhere used to be pretty wild.
Even if, like if you worked in a tax office
or something I reckon, they still would go nuts.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
They're a bit more civilized now because everyone's a bit more.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well you have to be. And during the week, like
an executive at one of the major banks got sacked
for something he did at their big Christmas party and yeah,
look it wasn't the right thing. He took with a
more junior stuff, a tasteless photo, and it was he
reversed the power structure, was him kneeling down and her
(13:22):
like pretending to hold guns, and he was like a
hostage and she was a terrorist. And so it was
a bit I mean, it's poor taste, a little racially insensitive,
but I mean sacked from his job for that at
a Christmas party.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I mean, well, you can imagine if you're working for
that bank and you've obviously got a reputation to uphold,
and if that photo gets leaked, it's obviously gone on socials.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You're talking about a bank who like kick people out
of their houses and don't pass on interest rate cards.
If they're worried about their public image, how about just
don't be bastards. Yeah, and let your staff have fun
at the Christmas part.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
I think they're two very different things.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
In my head, everything just muddles.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I can I can see that. Have you ever
had a like a wild Christmas party? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
You mentioned imagine advertising radio back in the day was yeah,
I mean Friday drinks were wild for radio back in
the day. We walked in and there was a giant
a carved out of ice. Oh wow, and down the
side of one of the sides of the a was
like a.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Little shoot so you could pour vodka so people.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
And then like a little lip thing at the bottom
of the shoot, and as you walked in you had
to put your mouth on the bottom of it while
someone stood at the top pouring vodka down or other liquids.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, when I met my husband Ryan, he used to
work for Suntory Liquor and so their Christmas parties were wild.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
But then he also would.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Get invited to all the like Gym Beam Christmas parties
and they were just huge, huge events, like endless budgets.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Of course, I.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Remember back when I was like twenty four working in advertising.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I'd been to Thailand. We'd shot this big commercial and it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Was our Christmas party that night, and I was in
a post production house working, working, trying to edit this
thing together. Hadn't really eaten all day because I was
just so under the pump. Got to the Christmas party
at eight on empty stomach and drinks were flowing.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
There was shots on arrival, double vodkas.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
You've been working all day, did you find something to
give you a little pep up?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It was just a booze. But what happened to me
was it went straight to my head. I'm normally pretty
good on the piss, but I had just, you know,
empty stomach, drank too much, walked into the toilet and
then thought, oh no, I don't feel good. I've got
to get out of here. Was trying to make my
way over to the exit, got h with a wave
(15:47):
of nausea projectile vomited straight onto one of our clients
at the time. I'm pretty sure they worked for Colgate
and then passed out and got carried out.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Do you know which toilet you walked into.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
The girl's idiot?
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Well, well you were drunk, because there was a girl
who worked at a radio station years ago who was
so blind at the Christmas party, went into the men's
she didn't realize and was doing her hair in the mirror.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Yeah, that's what we do in the girl's bathroom.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
But the mirror was the urinal, and she was she
didn't know why the mirror was so low and it
was blurry because she was drunk. So I was peering
into her reflection in the stainless steel urinal trying to
do her hair.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Yeah that's funny.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Anyway, So on this Friday night, what are we doing,
I'm driving. Where are we meeting for priests?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
This is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
The smell of sausages on a barbecue has to be
up there with the number one smells. Yes, And it
wouldn't be the same on a weekend at Bunnings. If
you went to the car park and there wasn't the
Rotary club or Scouts or someone cooking him out, you can't, Well,
how do you walk past that?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It depends what time I go in the morning, which
is basically never.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
I never go to Bunnings. Why am I even pretending
that I do?
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I love it?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Do you always get a sausage sizzle every time you go?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
When you when it's like it hits your nose, the
sausage and the onion, you can't walk past her?
Speaker 5 (17:16):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Every time my boys play soccer, especially in winter, they
always have a sausage sizzle.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
And I very rarely say no.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I would only say no if it was a charity
I hated.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Do you hate any charities?
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, don't answer that anyway. An American influencer Yuck has
come out to Australia. Yuck, He's brought his phone. He's
making some content, and he has reviewed the Bunning Sausage.
He heard it was a famous Ossie experience, so he
went along and let's hear.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
How he better he better not be giving it any grief.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Well he does the review, you'll find out what he
gives it out of ten. Here we go, this is
the sausaid, says Al. This is just a part.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
So I'm just gonna prepare this like a hot dog
in America. Where a better catch up. I'm just a
mustard till my official Bunning's sausage saysil.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
It's literally just a hard dog. I don't think it's
pretty good. I wish the bread was snicker like I
need were friend to sausage, says Charity samely. Honestly sausage
says off solid ten out of ten from here.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, so I don't know if he's aardy with his
girlfriend or oh white buddy. He gives it a solid
ten out of ten.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, it is absolutely not a hot dog. It's not
even in a hot dog bun. It's in a piece
of bread.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
No one else calls it a sausage. Sanger though, it's
just us because well they don't really do them in America,
there is really only hot dogs. And even when they
do like a normal sausage in a they only do
them in the long buns and they still call them
hot dogs.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Well more full than they're missing out. What do they
call it in New Zealand?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I don't know, something weird. It'd be like a hot pocket.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Hot Pocket is Ryan's nickname, you know, is it?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, because he once went away on a boy's trip
and he was wearing these white undies and he must
have been picking his bum a brown mark where he's
obviously dug his finger in, and so his nickname is
hot pocket.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I've got a pair of board shorts and one of
the pockets has just gone, so I always wear them
to the movies. But it has never occurred to me
that it is weird to sell sausages out the front
of a hardware store.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Well, yeah, when you say it like that, it is
very odd.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I feel like there's so much weird stuff that goes
on in Australia that people from the rest of the
world probably laugh at us about.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
They can't believe our sport because it's the football over
there with the helmets and the padding, so they watch
AFL NRL here they go, Oh my god, these guys
are crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well it's funny because I send a photo to my
cousins who live over in the UK, and it's of
this Facebook post that had gone up in my local area,
and it was a photo of this maybe like two
point two meter long brown snake and it just so
happened to be one street away from our house and
between us there's bush and if you actually google the
(20:00):
brown snake, it's the second deadliest snake in the world.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
And that is just so normal for us, like we
always have snakes in our backyard.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
They love the Crocodile Hunter, you know. That's why Steven
It became so big, because they're obsessed with Australia's dangerous animals,
the snakes, the spiders. They're like everything down there can
kill you.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Honestly, when I lived in the UK, when I was
twelve years old, every boy in my year six class
wanted to date me.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
I look like Fatty Vordon.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I was not attractive, but I was so cool because
I was Australian and I could play cricket.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Fatty is a nickname, just mentioning Fatty Vorton as well.
You wouldn't get that in any other country. It's like, hey, fatty,
and you're like.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Yeah, if you're in America, you're getting sued exactly, yes.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
But Americans being concerned about our wild an I was like,
oh my god, a Brown, say you get a bit
on the way to school. Yeah, it's like you have
you a fifteen assault rifles. I know, I know, take
the snake, pick your poison. Vegemite.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
They don't get love vegimite.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
No one gets well whenever people every time a celebrity
comes out, they're going the today s. When Carl's like
to the vegemite, no one is going to enjoy that
because they put too much on. They don't realize it's
got to be lots of butter and a little bit.
They spread it on like it's peanut butter. Yeah, and
then eat it and go well, of course it's disgusting
like that beetroot on burgers.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Bacon eggs, beetroot pineapple beef eskies.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Only now there's the other thing that New Zealand is
a message Jolli buden.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
It's just what about thongs. I don't think anyone else
calls them thongs.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Not in the US. No, that's a that's a G
banger in the US.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
I have blowouts on my thongs all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Doesn't that sound crooked? You can get go to America
and go, oh, excuse me, I've just had a thong blowout.
They're like, can I change seats?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride Amy.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
I know how fond of your childhood you are and
how much you want to recreate it for your kids.
You went a step further than most people and bought
your own childhood home.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
I am literally trying to recreate my entire life.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Yeah, you're listening to your nineties R and B soundtrack
with your husband in the same bedroom. Yes, that your
parents used to listen to Perry Como. Yeah, and create children.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
CRANBERRIESE and stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, the cranberries. If you had to pick a band,
I couldn't make love to it. Zambar zam Bear.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
I didn't think they were making love to it.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I thought I was just saying, like, listening to it,
even listening to that this shit.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Yeah, I know this is true.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
So you want to give your kids the same childhood
that you had. I had a good one. Do you
try to force other stuff on them that you loved
like everything movies, TV shows.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yes, I do family movie Night with them and we
watch all old school kids movies because they are just
so nostalgic for me and I love them.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Half the time, my kids are like, I'm not interested,
and I was like, you will watch this movie.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Will watch it.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Sound of Music. I literally used to love that movie.
My kids could not care less about it.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Sound of Music's not really all I mean, that's when
it's like our parents sitting us down back in the day, going,
come on, it's Kasa Blanca. It's a classical Humphrey Bogart's
about to say the line.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
And my parents also used to make us watch Chitty
Chitty Bang Bang That suck. Yeah, Yeah, I made my
kids watch it, and I was watching it going this
kind of lame.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
I've had a few hits with it so far. They're
in a happy Gilmore and Billy Madison probably inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
We watched ace Ventura.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you know, the second one where he com births
himself out of the rhinoceros.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Yeah, that'll stay with the kids forever.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
With the batpoof what a film. Ye, Home Alone obviously
and Home Alone too. Lost in New York this time
of year.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
You know another thing that I've been trying to do,
and it's just I can't quite nail it.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
My dad used to always put us in the boot
of his old Holden wagon. We would lie down with
pillows and sleeping bags, and he would drive us around unbelted,
of course, looking at Christmas lights.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Oh it's like a wagon though, Yes, it was a wagon. No,
just your dad putting you in the boot, that's old
school parenting.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
No, it was a wagon.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
We had snacks in there and we would drive around
looking at all the Christmas lights and I just remember
loving it, getting so excited. And I try to do
the same with my kids. Obviously they're belted and they're
in a car seat. But here's my problem. My middle child,
especially borderline anemic low iron.
Speaker 5 (24:15):
Can't stay on plast seven thirty. Yes, and it's bloody
light till eight thirty.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
What about the other kids when you do take them,
are they into it or are they just like, yeah,
it's good, I guess yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I just think kids are so spoilt these days. There's
no like true appreciation for anything.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Well, mine are spoiled as well, because they think cartoons
they think they're all Avatar or toy story and that quality.
So I was a big Simpsons kid. I know you
weren't allowed to watch an You were that kid who
drank milk at parties as well. In it, I'm not
allowed Coca cola. I wasn't, of course you weren't. So
I've got them into the Simpsons. But it took a
(24:54):
while because they're watching it going what is this? What
are these pictures? I'm like, you know, someone drew that
by hand.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
You're like, They're like, what is this olden day cartoon?
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Exactly? And no, this is cool. They're still making it,
by the way, So the animation's improved a bit. But
I'm showing them the old episodes that I used to watch,
like the Monorail and Homer going, oh, you're looking.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
You don't I haven't seen any of them.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
The golden age of the Simpsons. I'm showing them this,
and they have clicked and they love it. And I
hear them in the other room rewinding and watching over
and over the same bits that I used to absolutely
hose myself at really as a kid. The prank calls
to Moe's tavern, and I.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Feel really sad listening to this story, I feel like
I missed out on an entire genre of cartoon.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
It's never too late. Yeah, start again, start season. Don't
do season one. If you want to see some crap animation,
do that. Pick it up about season three. Sit down
with your kids and you can discover it with them
for the first time. Okay, it'd be nice.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
Sure, I'll give it a.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Well, there's some jokes in there that wouldn't pass muster. Yes,
today I will say you do hear a couple of
them and go, oh, that's a That joke's a bit
nineties that would not land well to What does that
word mean? Do'n't worry about it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
This is crisp page and Amy jerid.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Okay, time to have a look that wins and losses
of the week. Amy nailed it for feiled it set
of self reflection of the week. Just what are we
absolutely nailed? What are we stuffed up? You want to
go first?
Speaker 5 (26:21):
What are we starting on?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Let's go a positive and then we can I like
to end on a negative.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Something I've nailed this week. Black Friday sales.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yes, I don't normally do so well because I get
very overwhelmed and I add loads of things to my
card and then never check out on anything.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Sure, but I was very good this year. I didn't
go two nuts.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I got three big presents for my three kids, some
little presents did all the cousins. I absolutely nailed the
Black Friday sales. I made them my bitch.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Well, you helped us as well. You gave us your
God idea this week, which I had a few people
say to me, they really appreciated you breaking it down,
making it a bit easier. So so welcome, there's another
win for you. What about you?
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Thank you? What are you winning at this?
Speaker 4 (27:05):
This week? I cut down a whole bunch of trees.
That sound sounds bad, but no, there was just trees
that were annoying me in the yard. Also, some idiot
planted these gross palm trees right next to the pool.
Speaker 5 (27:21):
I know that.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
God, this sounds like a first world problem, doesn't it.
Oh my pool palm trees? No, but they suck. They
drop all sorts of crap into the pool. It's a nightmare.
Do you know how much a cost to get trees removed?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Yes, thousands of dollars.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
Thousands of dollars because they've got to dig the stump
up and grind that down.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Well, you could probably do it yourself, but you may
try like trees, yeah exact.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Yeah, I don't trust which way it's going to fall.
I need to make sure it's going to fall under
the neighbor's house. Yeah, and I couldn't be one hundred percent.
So that was my not to win. What about your
fail it for the week?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh well, staying on theme with the Black Friday sales
last year, I actually bought a walking pad in the
Black Friday sales thinking I was going to exercise at home,
probably in front of the TV whilst having a wine.
But it's turned out it's one of those stupid things
that I bought and have never used. It has turned
into a toy that my kids use. And last week
(28:16):
Bobby must have been writing it and his foot went
through the wall.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Yeah, that's huge fail.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
So a walking pad is it like a miniature treadmill.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
It's usually what people put under their desks.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
They should call it the Monica Lewinsky. Okay, ego got
it our producer like that job. I didn't get that
too high brow? Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 5 (28:38):
What's your fail?
Speaker 4 (28:39):
What besides that joke.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
You got nothing.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
I stuffed up our whole laundry. Oh so we had
blooded kind of you know how you get drain smell?
So downstairs our laundry is linked to the bathroom, and
you got to clean the drain. You wouldn't. You're looking
at me blankly because Ryan would take care of this. No,
drain's over. If you never clean out a drain, they
(29:03):
get a drain smell like they fill up with crap
and they just start to stick.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
I've never cleaned out a drain, and nor has Ryan.
There's also no smell.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
You guys must just be so perfect that I think
that's what it is. Yeah, your drains don't smell.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Okay, I'm hoping other people out there have smelly drains
as we can't all be, did you clum right? No,
it's just over years and years, they just little bit
get in there and at six No, no, just whatever,
I did the thing. We you poured down Bi carbs
soda and then vinegar. If you heard that old wives,
they have a chemical reaction. Yeah, but I put like
(29:42):
a whole box of Bi carbs soda down.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Just was your drain just foaming at the opening.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Yeah, I do. You're not meant to put in that
much with the whole box of bi carb soda and
and then a whole bottle of vinegar, a whole bottle.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
Yeah, I haven't even cleaned out drains, and I know
that's not right.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
You know those videos where people drop a mentoss into
a coke bottle and shake it up. It had that
reaction in my laundry.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
It's like, have you ever tried putting a hydrault in
your mouth with no water?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I have not.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Yeah, you literally foam like you're having in some sort
of overdose.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
You want to leave work early today. That's now a
little failer this week.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Let's start it.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Nailed it or sealed it?
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Time for us to go, Amy Girard will be back tomorrow.
Weight am, Yeah, but keep it kiss. The winning starts next.
Your chance to take a whole bunch of your little
monster mates. And when an entire row of Lady Gaga
tickets you are listening out for the Gargas Kiss, that's
your cue to call thirteen one oh sixty five when
you hear that jump on the phone and win that
(30:44):
entire row at Lady Gaga. Have a great day. See
you tomorrow borrow,
I Heart Podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, sir, I'm talking.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Let's go. Let's good morning that remains to be seen
Chris Page and Amy Yards in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Good morning everyone, Hello sunshine.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
Good morning, good money?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (00:40):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I'm good. Have you been bombarded on your socials this
week with everyone Spotify? Well, how'd you go when you
look back at the year, how was your music taste?
Speaker 5 (00:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
My top genres, I'll talk you through them. My first
one was R and B standard.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Now you put on R and B like nineties. R
and B is your love making plays. So it's been
a good year for rhyme.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I don't. I used to do that back before I
was married.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
I used to light candle and put like really sexy
music on. Yeah, and then I got married.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
What are you listening to now?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
Nothing?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Just close your eyes and think about something else.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Think about the shopping I need to do.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
So R and B was my top, and then rap,
which is surprising, and then I've got country.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
I know you like your country music. Who's your favorite?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
The Stapleton I like, well, I like Chris Stapleton I
like Zach Brian and then House, which is very surprising
because I actually don't like house.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
What is house like house music?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
What's a house song? While you're looking for that, I'll
tell you. The number one song in Australia for twenty
twenty five was Alex Warrender Ordinary was number one. Not
such a good year for Ossie artists. On the spotify
vance joy Riptide, which is eleven years old, was the
(02:00):
top Australian song. I feel like anyone with young kids
is going to have a pretty warped year in review
music wise, because so much of it you're in the
car and the kids go, put that on again, and
you know, the same song over and over. My entire
top five was baby Lullaby music that I put on
every night for yourself. Well no, well that was in there,
(02:20):
so the baby Lallaby Music's while Henry goes to sleep.
And then the rest of the top ten was like
Meditation Drone that was me, almost white noise that I
put on my life sleep.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That was me last year, I think because I've started
doing some walks this year and I listened to music
when I do walking.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
But I did get this.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It said that my listening age is twenty one, so
it's keeping me youthful.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
You go, white girl, hahaha.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Today is Saturday, the sixth of December, which means Amy dryid.
There are nineteen sleeps until Santa Claus comes. Boys and girls.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Wow, that's gonna be here in the blink of an eye.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
You love Christmas?
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I do love Christmas. You know what I don't love
about Christmas? Shit? Christmas presents. Have you ever received one?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Yeah? A stack?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I mean, I'm gonna I reckon I can top yours.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
It actually came from a family member of mine. I
can guarantee he's not listening. He's very Christian. He'd be
listening to some biblical radio station. But he is an
uncle of mine. I won't say which one because there
are five of them. But for Christmas one year, I
got a really hard, heavy present. I was like, what
(03:32):
on earth is this? I open it up, it's a
jar of vegimite.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I was like, is it one of those the special
promotional ones where they put your name on it or
something like that boat cans.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Or no no, no, no name on it.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And at first I was like, that's very odd. But
you know what I do enjoy veggimi. I love vegimi
on toast in the morning. It'll get used the.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Cost of living. You know, that'll save you six bucks.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
He is my favorite part.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
They were doing a giveaway, some sort of Christmas giveaway,
and inside the lids of all these vegimar jars there
was potentially a hidden gold token or something, so you
had to unscrew it, open it, and then register your
barkat whatever. Anyway, So this uncle of mine has opened
the veggiemite, removed the token, and obviously he tried his
(04:19):
luck sealed it and wrapped.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
It for me.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Wow, and I just like, firstly, I'm pretty sure the
jar was three dollars and then you what, you can't
even give me the chance of winning potentially.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That is pathetic.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Pathetic.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Got'd be like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory of
Grandpa Joe was like, hey, Charlie, I got your bar
of Wonka chocolate. He was like, Grandpa's it's already open,
Like you already checked for the golden ticket.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yes, well, he's consistently bad at gift giving. Yes, we
always know to expect absolute garbage.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Last year, for my children.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
He gave one of them a balloon, like just just
a balloon, so you know the packets and balloons that
you buy, and bw a dollar a balloon.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Kobe got a balloon. Did no, he did it. It
wasn't blown up. Bobby got a stick of chalk. Are
we being punched?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Like? Maybe just don't don't give us anything or write
us a nice card. But with each crappy gift, he
writes us verses from God, and there's lots of church
related stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Well, I mean he's giving you eternal life and cleansing
your soul. I mean that's that's worth more than of
jarvegmight anyhow is.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
But my oldest daughter she got you know those party poppers.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yep, she got one of them, one of those. Ye
just one, but seconds of fun.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You can't exactly, but you can't give three kids three
different prizes, especially when they're all dog pooh like.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
That and sound like they came out of last year's bond.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Borns exactly right, that's right, or you've got yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I remember as a kid, and I'll get in trouble
for telling this story, but we want to do it.
One year, because it was pretty bad. One year, my
dad gave my mom a new bin in the kitchen.
And now I realize what it was like, you know,
in love actually, when Emma Thompson thinks that Alan Rickman
is giving her the beautiful jewelry that she saw him
buy and she opens it up and it's the Joni
(06:19):
Mitchell CD. And she sort of goes, just give me
a minute, and like goes off and then comes back
and goes, Okay, it was that, but it was a bin.
And it was like you said, you wanted a new
bin for the kitchen, but which is not for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
For Christmas, you never buy a woman anything kitchen laundry
related for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
I don't think you did it again. Anyway, Good luck
with your shopping. Everyone do better than that.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
This is Chris Page and Amy Jerrard.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
We're gonna have a laugh. We're gonna go around the
world around so it's easy. I've got a random country
button here I'm gonna press. It's gonna play the music
for that country, and we'll pluck out the good news
story from that country anymore into Yeah, good.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Should take note.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Oh here we go.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
We're after Britain.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
The United States of America last week as well. Don't worry,
it's not Donald Trump. This is a fun story out
of America about a drunk raccoon. A very intoxicated raccoon
broke into a liquor store in Ashland, Virginia, smashing bottles
of scotch and whiskey, knocking over shelves and even crashing
(07:38):
through a ceiling tile before finally passing out face first
on the bathroom floor.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
No, how do they know that?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
The security cameras animal control people scooped up the passed
out trash panda, let it sober up at the shelter,
so he even went to the.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Drunk tank, so he's gone to rehab yet.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And then released it back into the wild.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Hopefully they gave it a double cheeseburger and a coke zero.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Okay, where are we going next? This is New Zealand
with Dave Dobbin. Get to Chili Box. It is chili
been well, there's been a bird attack in New Zealand.
News reported Jessica Tyson, Gorgeous Lady, a former Miss World
(08:26):
New Zealand, was filming a live segment for t O
with Moana in downtown Auckland. There's a prick of a city,
just a horrible place. When a rogue seagull flew straight
into her face mid report gave her a black.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Eye and a cut, that's pretty unheard of.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Have a listen, wardrobe is.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Going to be short lived. S Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, you're bleeding, am I?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And look at that. She's even posted a photo of
her gash online. She's bleeding.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Yeah, I know what you're doing as well. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
If you want to see it's a great video, just
google Miss World New Zealand gash and you can check
it out. All right. Where we go next?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Yes, the UK?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
This one's the UK. God, say my queen, the Motherland.
This is high brown. We're going to Oxford University, home
of the Oxford Dictionary, where they've released twenty twenty five's
word of the Year. Oh, they do this every year.
So in the last few years we've had brain rot.
Was last year riz goblin mode, remember that I didn't
(09:40):
go anywhere, and this year this year is rage bait.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Rage bait.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Very timely, I feel because that's pretty much we talk
about why there's no good news. I feel like everything
online now is designed to make you angry and sort
of you know, you click on oh what's what's she done? Now? Well,
ib chatfield, I.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Think of clickbait, and obviously clickbait leures even me.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
And it's more engaging. If you are angry, outraged, you're
more likely to do it. And it's how Twitter, Instagram,
it's how the algorithms work. They will give you things
to feed your life.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I've never understood that, you know, like people follow people
on socials as a hate follow. I've never understood that
if I don't like someone, I just instantly removed them
from my life.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Or you could set up a fake account and abuse them.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
That's what you do in your now.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Yeah, where's last stop on the tour today? Australia. This
is from the ABS, the Australian Bureau of Statistics. I
know it sounds fascinating. They've given up collecting data on
smokers in Australia because they always had the stats going
this is how much tax we collect, this is how
(10:50):
many people smoke, and how many packets of cigarettes they're buying.
They've given up because they now estimate that by next year,
eighty percent of tobacco sales in Australia will be illegal
black market. They got greedy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
They taxed them too much, of course they did.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
You push smokers and pushed them. You told them they
couldn't smoke inside, then they couldn't smoke within ten meters
of the door there also, you can't you can't smoke anywhere.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Now and rightly so.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Do you remember going out and then coming home smelling
like an ashtraight?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I miss it. It had a good night in your
hair as well as your.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Hair, your hair, your clothes.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
I wasn't even a smoker. I smelled like tobacco for
like fifteen years.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
But they're addicted to revenues, so they were making billions
and they just kept cranking up the cigarette tacks and
then you pushed them too far. Yeah, they're buying the
chop chop from the tobacconist and vapes.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, I can imagine vape sales of filthy habits taken over.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
That's around the world this week around I just realized
around the world was America, England, New Zealand, and Australia.
It's pretty western. It's not diverse. Yeah, well I checked Africa.
It wasn't It wasn't much field good stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It is work Chris party season. A lot of places
have already had them. Kisses. Big Christmas party is this
Friday night, Amy, Yes, yeah, so yeah, yeah, I'll be there. Yeah,
I won't be drinking, So that's going to be a
really great night. But they're so fraught with danger and
like in this day and age, with how safe everyone is,
(12:31):
and you know, the email always goes out on the
day of the party from hr going. Remember it might
be at a venue, but it's still a work event
and hear all the guidelines.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
God, you should work in advertising that My Christmas parties
back when I used to work in advertising were wild.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
No emails like that went out.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
I reckon. Christmas parties everywhere used to be pretty wild.
Even if, like if you worked in a tax office
or something I reckon, they still would go nuts.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
They're a bit more civilized now because everyone's a bit more.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well you have to be. And during the week, like
an executive at one of the major banks got sacked
for something he did at their big Christmas party and yeah,
look it wasn't the right thing. He took with a
more junior stuff, a tasteless photo, and it was he
reversed the power structure, was him kneeling down and her
(13:22):
like pretending to hold guns, and he was like a
hostage and she was a terrorist. And so it was
a bit I mean, it's poor taste, a little racially insensitive,
but I mean sacked from his job for that at
a Christmas party.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I mean, well, you can imagine if you're working for
that bank and you've obviously got a reputation to uphold,
and if that photo gets leaked, it's obviously gone on socials.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
You're talking about a bank who like kick people out
of their houses and don't pass on interest rate cards.
If they're worried about their public image, how about just
don't be bastards. Yeah, and let your staff have fun
at the Christmas part.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
I think they're two very different things.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
In my head, everything just muddles.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I can I can see that. Have you ever
had a like a wild Christmas party? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
You mentioned imagine advertising radio back in the day was yeah,
I mean Friday drinks were wild for radio back in
the day. We walked in and there was a giant
a carved out of ice. Oh wow, and down the
side of one of the sides of the a was
like a.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Little shoot so you could pour vodka so people.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
And then like a little lip thing at the bottom
of the shoot, and as you walked in you had
to put your mouth on the bottom of it while
someone stood at the top pouring vodka down or other liquids.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah, when I met my husband Ryan, he used to
work for Suntory Liquor and so their Christmas parties were wild.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
But then he also would.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Get invited to all the like Gym Beam Christmas parties
and they were just huge, huge events, like endless budgets.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Of course, I.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Remember back when I was like twenty four working in advertising.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I'd been to Thailand. We'd shot this big commercial and it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Was our Christmas party that night, and I was in
a post production house working, working, trying to edit this
thing together. Hadn't really eaten all day because I was
just so under the pump. Got to the Christmas party
at eight on empty stomach and drinks were flowing.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
There was shots on arrival, double vodkas.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
You've been working all day, did you find something to
give you a little pep up?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It was just a booze. But what happened to me
was it went straight to my head. I'm normally pretty
good on the piss, but I had just, you know,
empty stomach, drank too much, walked into the toilet and
then thought, oh no, I don't feel good. I've got
to get out of here. Was trying to make my
way over to the exit, got h with a wave
(15:47):
of nausea projectile vomited straight onto one of our clients
at the time. I'm pretty sure they worked for Colgate
and then passed out and got carried out.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Do you know which toilet you walked into.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
The girl's idiot?
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Well, well you were drunk, because there was a girl
who worked at a radio station years ago who was
so blind at the Christmas party, went into the men's
she didn't realize and was doing her hair in the mirror.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Yeah, that's what we do in the girl's bathroom.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
But the mirror was the urinal, and she was she
didn't know why the mirror was so low and it
was blurry because she was drunk. So I was peering
into her reflection in the stainless steel urinal trying to
do her hair.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Yeah that's funny.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Anyway, So on this Friday night, what are we doing,
I'm driving. Where are we meeting for priests?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
This is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
The smell of sausages on a barbecue has to be
up there with the number one smells. Yes, And it
wouldn't be the same on a weekend at Bunnings. If
you went to the car park and there wasn't the
Rotary club or Scouts or someone cooking him out, you can't, Well,
how do you walk past that?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
It depends what time I go in the morning, which
is basically never.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
I never go to Bunnings. Why am I even pretending
that I do?
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I love it?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Do you always get a sausage sizzle every time you go?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
When you when it's like it hits your nose, the
sausage and the onion, you can't walk past her?
Speaker 5 (17:16):
I do.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Every time my boys play soccer, especially in winter, they
always have a sausage sizzle.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
And I very rarely say no.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I would only say no if it was a charity
I hated.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Do you hate any charities?
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Yeah, don't answer that anyway. An American influencer Yuck has
come out to Australia. Yuck, He's brought his phone. He's
making some content, and he has reviewed the Bunning Sausage.
He heard it was a famous Ossie experience, so he
went along and let's hear.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
How he better he better not be giving it any grief.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Well he does the review, you'll find out what he
gives it out of ten. Here we go, this is
the sausaid, says Al. This is just a part.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
So I'm just gonna prepare this like a hot dog
in America. Where a better catch up. I'm just a
mustard till my official Bunning's sausage saysil.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
It's literally just a hard dog. I don't think it's
pretty good. I wish the bread was snicker like I
need were friend to sausage, says Charity samely. Honestly sausage
says off solid ten out of ten from here.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Yeah, so I don't know if he's aardy with his
girlfriend or oh white buddy. He gives it a solid
ten out of ten.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, it is absolutely not a hot dog. It's not
even in a hot dog bun. It's in a piece
of bread.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
No one else calls it a sausage. Sanger though, it's
just us because well they don't really do them in America,
there is really only hot dogs. And even when they
do like a normal sausage in a they only do
them in the long buns and they still call them
hot dogs.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Well more full than they're missing out. What do they
call it in New Zealand?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I don't know, something weird. It'd be like a hot pocket.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
Hot Pocket is Ryan's nickname, you know, is it?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, because he once went away on a boy's trip
and he was wearing these white undies and he must
have been picking his bum a brown mark where he's
obviously dug his finger in, and so his nickname is
hot pocket.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I've got a pair of board shorts and one of
the pockets has just gone, so I always wear them
to the movies. But it has never occurred to me
that it is weird to sell sausages out the front
of a hardware store.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Well, yeah, when you say it like that, it is
very odd.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I feel like there's so much weird stuff that goes
on in Australia that people from the rest of the
world probably laugh at us about.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
They can't believe our sport because it's the football over
there with the helmets and the padding, so they watch
AFL NRL here they go, Oh my god, these guys
are crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well it's funny because I send a photo to my
cousins who live over in the UK, and it's of
this Facebook post that had gone up in my local area,
and it was a photo of this maybe like two
point two meter long brown snake and it just so
happened to be one street away from our house and
between us there's bush and if you actually google the
(20:00):
brown snake, it's the second deadliest snake in the world.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
And that is just so normal for us, like we
always have snakes in our backyard.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
They love the Crocodile Hunter, you know. That's why Steven
It became so big, because they're obsessed with Australia's dangerous animals,
the snakes, the spiders. They're like everything down there can
kill you.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Honestly, when I lived in the UK, when I was
twelve years old, every boy in my year six class
wanted to date me.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
I look like Fatty Vordon.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I was not attractive, but I was so cool because
I was Australian and I could play cricket.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Fatty is a nickname, just mentioning Fatty Vorton as well.
You wouldn't get that in any other country. It's like, hey, fatty,
and you're like.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Yeah, if you're in America, you're getting sued exactly, yes.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
But Americans being concerned about our wild an I was like,
oh my god, a Brown, say you get a bit
on the way to school. Yeah, it's like you have
you a fifteen assault rifles. I know, I know, take
the snake, pick your poison. Vegemite.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
They don't get love vegimite.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
No one gets well whenever people every time a celebrity
comes out, they're going the today s. When Carl's like
to the vegemite, no one is going to enjoy that
because they put too much on. They don't realize it's
got to be lots of butter and a little bit.
They spread it on like it's peanut butter. Yeah, and
then eat it and go well, of course it's disgusting
like that beetroot on burgers.
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Bacon eggs, beetroot pineapple beef eskies.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Only now there's the other thing that New Zealand is
a message Jolli buden.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
It's just what about thongs. I don't think anyone else
calls them thongs.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Not in the US. No, that's a that's a G
banger in the US.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
I have blowouts on my thongs all the time.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Doesn't that sound crooked? You can get go to America
and go, oh, excuse me, I've just had a thong blowout.
They're like, can I change seats?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride Amy.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
I know how fond of your childhood you are and
how much you want to recreate it for your kids.
You went a step further than most people and bought
your own childhood home.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
I am literally trying to recreate my entire life.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Yeah, you're listening to your nineties R and B soundtrack
with your husband in the same bedroom. Yes, that your
parents used to listen to Perry Como. Yeah, and create children.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
CRANBERRIESE and stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah, the cranberries. If you had to pick a band,
I couldn't make love to it. Zambar zam Bear.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
I didn't think they were making love to it.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I thought I was just saying, like, listening to it,
even listening to that this shit.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Yeah, I know this is true.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
So you want to give your kids the same childhood
that you had. I had a good one. Do you
try to force other stuff on them that you loved
like everything movies, TV shows.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yes, I do family movie Night with them and we
watch all old school kids movies because they are just
so nostalgic for me and I love them.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Half the time, my kids are like, I'm not interested,
and I was like, you will watch this movie.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Will watch it.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Sound of Music. I literally used to love that movie.
My kids could not care less about it.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Sound of Music's not really all I mean, that's when
it's like our parents sitting us down back in the day, going,
come on, it's Kasa Blanca. It's a classical Humphrey Bogart's
about to say the line.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
And my parents also used to make us watch Chitty
Chitty Bang Bang That suck. Yeah, Yeah, I made my
kids watch it, and I was watching it going this
kind of lame.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
I've had a few hits with it so far. They're
in a happy Gilmore and Billy Madison probably inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
We watched ace Ventura.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you know, the second one where he com births
himself out of the rhinoceros.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Yeah, that'll stay with the kids forever.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
With the batpoof what a film. Ye, Home Alone obviously
and Home Alone too. Lost in New York this time
of year.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
You know another thing that I've been trying to do,
and it's just I can't quite nail it.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
My dad used to always put us in the boot
of his old Holden wagon. We would lie down with
pillows and sleeping bags, and he would drive us around unbelted,
of course, looking at Christmas lights.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Oh it's like a wagon though, Yes, it was a wagon. No,
just your dad putting you in the boot, that's old
school parenting.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
No, it was a wagon.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
We had snacks in there and we would drive around
looking at all the Christmas lights and I just remember
loving it, getting so excited. And I try to do
the same with my kids. Obviously they're belted and they're
in a car seat. But here's my problem. My middle child,
especially borderline anemic low iron.
Speaker 5 (24:15):
Can't stay on plast seven thirty. Yes, and it's bloody
light till eight thirty.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
What about the other kids when you do take them,
are they into it or are they just like, yeah,
it's good, I guess yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I just think kids are so spoilt these days. There's
no like true appreciation for anything.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Well, mine are spoiled as well, because they think cartoons
they think they're all Avatar or toy story and that quality.
So I was a big Simpsons kid. I know you
weren't allowed to watch an You were that kid who
drank milk at parties as well. In it, I'm not
allowed Coca cola. I wasn't, of course you weren't. So
I've got them into the Simpsons. But it took a
(24:54):
while because they're watching it going what is this? What
are these pictures? I'm like, you know, someone drew that
by hand.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
You're like, They're like, what is this olden day cartoon?
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Exactly? And no, this is cool. They're still making it,
by the way, So the animation's improved a bit. But
I'm showing them the old episodes that I used to watch,
like the Monorail and Homer going, oh, you're looking.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
You don't I haven't seen any of them.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
The golden age of the Simpsons. I'm showing them this,
and they have clicked and they love it. And I
hear them in the other room rewinding and watching over
and over the same bits that I used to absolutely
hose myself at really as a kid. The prank calls
to Moe's tavern, and I.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Feel really sad listening to this story, I feel like
I missed out on an entire genre of cartoon.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
It's never too late. Yeah, start again, start season. Don't
do season one. If you want to see some crap animation,
do that. Pick it up about season three. Sit down
with your kids and you can discover it with them
for the first time. Okay, it'd be nice.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
Sure, I'll give it a.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Well, there's some jokes in there that wouldn't pass muster. Yes,
today I will say you do hear a couple of
them and go, oh, that's a That joke's a bit
nineties that would not land well to What does that
word mean? Do'n't worry about it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
This is crisp page and Amy jerid.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Okay, time to have a look that wins and losses
of the week. Amy nailed it for feiled it set
of self reflection of the week. Just what are we
absolutely nailed? What are we stuffed up? You want to
go first?
Speaker 5 (26:21):
What are we starting on?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Let's go a positive and then we can I like
to end on a negative.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Something I've nailed this week. Black Friday sales.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yes, I don't normally do so well because I get
very overwhelmed and I add loads of things to my
card and then never check out on anything.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Sure, but I was very good this year. I didn't
go two nuts.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I got three big presents for my three kids, some
little presents did all the cousins. I absolutely nailed the
Black Friday sales. I made them my bitch.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Well, you helped us as well. You gave us your
God idea this week, which I had a few people
say to me, they really appreciated you breaking it down,
making it a bit easier. So so welcome, there's another
win for you. What about you?
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Thank you? What are you winning at this?
Speaker 4 (27:05):
This week? I cut down a whole bunch of trees.
That sound sounds bad, but no, there was just trees
that were annoying me in the yard. Also, some idiot
planted these gross palm trees right next to the pool.
Speaker 5 (27:21):
I know that.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
God, this sounds like a first world problem, doesn't it.
Oh my pool palm trees? No, but they suck. They
drop all sorts of crap into the pool. It's a nightmare.
Do you know how much a cost to get trees removed?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Yes, thousands of dollars.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
Thousands of dollars because they've got to dig the stump
up and grind that down.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Well, you could probably do it yourself, but you may
try like trees, yeah exact.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Yeah, I don't trust which way it's going to fall.
I need to make sure it's going to fall under
the neighbor's house. Yeah, and I couldn't be one hundred percent.
So that was my not to win. What about your
fail it for the week?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh well, staying on theme with the Black Friday sales
last year, I actually bought a walking pad in the
Black Friday sales thinking I was going to exercise at home,
probably in front of the TV whilst having a wine.
But it's turned out it's one of those stupid things
that I bought and have never used. It has turned
into a toy that my kids use. And last week
(28:16):
Bobby must have been writing it and his foot went
through the wall.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Yeah, that's huge fail.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
So a walking pad is it like a miniature treadmill.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
It's usually what people put under their desks.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
They should call it the Monica Lewinsky. Okay, ego got
it our producer like that job. I didn't get that
too high brow? Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 5 (28:38):
What's your fail?
Speaker 4 (28:39):
What besides that joke.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
You got nothing.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
I stuffed up our whole laundry. Oh so we had
blooded kind of you know how you get drain smell?
So downstairs our laundry is linked to the bathroom, and
you got to clean the drain. You wouldn't. You're looking
at me blankly because Ryan would take care of this. No,
drain's over. If you never clean out a drain, they
(29:03):
get a drain smell like they fill up with crap
and they just start to stick.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
I've never cleaned out a drain, and nor has Ryan.
There's also no smell.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
You guys must just be so perfect that I think
that's what it is. Yeah, your drains don't smell.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Okay, I'm hoping other people out there have smelly drains
as we can't all be, did you clum right? No,
it's just over years and years, they just little bit
get in there and at six No, no, just whatever,
I did the thing. We you poured down Bi carbs
soda and then vinegar. If you heard that old wives,
they have a chemical reaction. Yeah, but I put like
(29:42):
a whole box of Bi carbs soda down.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Just was your drain just foaming at the opening.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Yeah, I do. You're not meant to put in that
much with the whole box of bi carb soda and
and then a whole bottle of vinegar, a whole bottle.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
Yeah, I haven't even cleaned out drains, and I know
that's not right.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
You know those videos where people drop a mentoss into
a coke bottle and shake it up. It had that
reaction in my laundry.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
It's like, have you ever tried putting a hydrault in
your mouth with no water?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I have not.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Yeah, you literally foam like you're having in some sort
of overdose.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
You want to leave work early today. That's now a
little failer this week.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Let's start it.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Nailed it or sealed it?
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Time for us to go, Amy Girard will be back tomorrow.
Weight am, Yeah, but keep it kiss. The winning starts next.
Your chance to take a whole bunch of your little
monster mates. And when an entire row of Lady Gaga
tickets you are listening out for the Gargas Kiss, that's
your cue to call thirteen one oh sixty five when
you hear that jump on the phone and win that
(30:44):
entire row at Lady Gaga. Have a great day. See
you tomorrow borrow,
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