October 18, 2025 • 30 mins
🎙️ Podcast Summary
Amy Gerard and Chris Page are back on KIIS 1065 with a no-filter episode full of movies, marriage, and flatulent confessions.
Amy shares the outrageous story of husband Ryan’s Brussels-sprout-fueled disaster, sparking a hilarious deep dive into food, farts, and relationship survival. From there, the duo get nostalgic about caravan-park holidays, debate the latest driving fines for eating behind the wheel, and rage about the plague of “Are you a member?” checkout questions.
Plus Amy take on Kim Kardashian’s new “pube G-strings”, leading to chat about body trends, self-maintenance, and grey-pubes panic.
⏱️ Chapters / Segments
00:00 – Movie Madness: Chris reviews One Battle After Another (Leo DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro).
02:40 – What’s Ryan Done This Week: Amy exposes Ryan’s Brussels-sprout gas apocalypse.
07:20 – Caravan-Park Parenting: Why Amy says caravan holidays are the best (and cheapest) way to raise resilient kids.
12:40 – TikTok Lies & Driving Fines: Can NSW drivers really be fined for sipping water? Chris sets the record straight.
17:00 – Loyalty Card Overload: The pair lose it over constant “Are you a member?” questions.
21:00 – Birthday Gift Debate: Amy’s “twenty tiny presents” parenting hack — and Chris pitches the kids’ wishing-well revolution.
26:15 – Pubes Are Back?!: Amy reacts to Kim Kardashian’s Skims “pube G-strings” and what it says about fashion, laser, and real life.
30:05 – Weekend Wrap: Amy & Chris sign off with laughs and questionable mental images.
🔍 Keywords
Amy Gerard, Chris Page, KIIS FM, KIIS 1065, iHeartRadio, Sydney radio, weekend breakfast, Amy Gerard podcast, funny parenting stories, relationship humour, marriage confessions, Brussels sprouts farts, Kim Kardashian Skims, pube G-string, pop-culture podcast, Australian radio show, caravan-park parenting, distracted driving fines NSW, loyalty programs Australia, weekend laughs, Aussie humour podcast, Chris Page and Amy Gerard.
📻 About the Show
Catch Chris Page & Amy Gerard every Saturday and Sunday from 8 a.m. – 10 a.m. on KIIS
🎧 Listen on-demand on the iHeart App
#AmyGerard #ChrisPage #KIIS1065 #WeekendRadio #ParentingPodcast #FunnyPodcast #AustralianRadio
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, sir, I'll talk. Let's got good morning that remains
to be seen. Chris Page and Amy Girard in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Hey, good morning everyone, Happy Sunday, Amy Gerard.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Morning, Paigey.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh wow, we.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Actually do need a coffee.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Yeah, let's see this. I went to the movies last night.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You love a movie.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I love going to the movies, and particularly more so
when I've seen a great you know, a movie that
makes you love going to the movies again?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Did you literally sent me a message? Hang on? Can
I get it up? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
This was my second time. This was my second viewing
of this movie.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
No, yes, oh you went twice.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I went again last night, One Battle after another.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
You wrote, Oh my god, if Ryan wants to see
one Battle after go with him. Make it a gold
class date. It is so unbelievably good. And then he said,
don't take the kids. It's only M. But I have
no idea how it got that rating.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, it's a hard M but it's Leonardo DiCaprio, Benicio
del Toro.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's got a great.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Sean Penn is you haven't seen Sean Penn.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Like this before, really, like it is this surprises all,
you know, you just don't know what's going to happen,
and you're constantly surprised.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So just for a bit of background, you did show
me the trailer of it, and it just looked weirdly chaotic,
and it didn't even the trailer didn't make a lot
of sense to me.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It is a bit chaotic and it is a bit weird.
I just don't know how you could. You couldn't be bored.
You might not love it as much as I loved it, granted,
but I don't see how anyone could sit there and go, God,
this move, I'm bored.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And it was easy to follow along. Yeah okay, yeah, yeah, okay.
Well we've got we've actually got some gold class vouchers
from old Christmas presents.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
So everyone done that. I never use it, and.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Honestly, they're about to spy. And I was like, these
are not just normal seats. These a gold class. Like
even if we just go and eat dinner there.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
You know, a lot of the cinemas I reckon have
done themselves a disservice.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
And they've made the normal cinema.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
See it's so good that you go, well, I don't
need gold Class so true. You just go to a
normal one now and it's the full recliner. Yeah, would
have been going, well, why am I paying fifty bucks for.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The Yeah, you wouldn't unless you get him as a
voucher for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, or unless a movie company was like, send me
gold class tickets and I could go and just check.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
How great you would love that, wouldn't you? You love a movie,
be a great movie critic.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
The best anyway, go see it? One battle after another
near Leo.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Very good.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
This is Chris Page and Amy's ride right right up, bit.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Of blow the dust off this. It's been a little while.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Anyone would anyone anyone would think he's been on his
best behavior?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay, here it is Amy's husband Ryan, because it was
weekly when we started the segment, what's Ryan done this week?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It could it could easily be weekly. Yeah, But then
I was a bit like, oh what am I am?
I just shitcanning my husband every week? Yeah, I've got
a bit boring. I prefer to do a twist face anyway.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Oh so, but I've got a doozy this week, and
it has to be spoken about because it was outrageous obviously.
I mean I was gonna say, like most men, but
you're you don't fight in front of your wife?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
No, yeah, and she certainly doesn't at all.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, I just don't know what that would even feel like.
I think I've just been plagued by farts my whole life.
I grew up with brothers, yes, right, so I've just
been literally encapsulated by them forever.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And you are like a really easy bowing blonde woman.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What does that have to do with.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It means you're hot enough to not get kicked out
of a guy's bed for dropping a fight.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I know I'm not fighting. I'm saying everyone around me farts.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Oh okay, yeah, because I'm just saying if you're like
a five out of ten and like I was only
just going to sleep you anyway, and it's like borderline
and some get out.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Oh really, Oh you're a pretty well.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
So you're like a solid nine. Yeah right, I'll pretend
that didn't happen.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Well, thankfully, I'm not big on the old anal acoustics,
but my husband is. I gave him the green light
at the start of our relationship. I think he actually
asked me, oh, like, do you mind like passing? You know,
if guys fart?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Did you say, you know, because you wet the bed
on that first date? Do you mind if I fart?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
No, he didn't say that, but he did ask if, like,
I was okay with farts, and I said yes. It
was the biggest mistake of my life because I was,
you know, I was trying to be cool. Yeah, of course,
I grew up with brothers, no issue.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But you assumed he was a normal, healthy person with
a well adjusted gut.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yes, I did. And when I tell you he's not so.
For eleven years now, I've all thought that he's got
undiagnosed IBS because the farts are a lot, and I
didn't think they could get any worse until last week.
And I don't know if you have a certain food
that sets you off, but I'll tell you what it is.
(05:26):
For my husband, it's Brussels sprouts and we both had
a huge dish of them. When I tell you Ryan's
farts went from forty a day to about fifteen hundred,
I was it was a bit like, oh, well, another one,
oh and okay, all right? Wind down you in it,
I open all the doors and then I was like,
is something going on? Like, what on earth is happening?
(05:49):
You have not stopped fighting Brussels sprouts.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
That's a shit food.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
It already tastes bad, so you have to disguise the
taste of it, and it gives you rotten guts farts
as well.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Well. They do say that Brussels sprouts is one of
the one of the number one vegetables that create gas
in your.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Guts, So why would you.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I love Brussels sprouts and they don't make me too.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I know it's the well baked beans obviously fiber and
there's the old what was the song at school about.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Baked beans are good for your heart. The more you eat,
the more you fart, the more you fut, the betty
you feel. So baked beans for every meal.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Sponsor our segment, Hines, We'll sing that every Sunday.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
We talked about our what are they called new tribuleets
on air. So I'm a smoothie guy now, yes, and
as you said, I'm not a massive farter, but I
will say the daily kale cheer seed, green apple berry smoothie.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yeah, I wouldn't look it gets things moving.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yes, you're like a pop off and then a follow through.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, but it has a pungence. I suppose to it.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Food. Yeah, I feel like the healthier the food, the
smellier the fart.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, an egg fart smell like egg.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I think that's the only food that just goes straight
through I feel without changing growth.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Just thinking of you doing kale fart?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
What does kale? Kale doesn't smell.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Kale doesn't have a smell, and neither does a kale fart.
But your fats smell like you've got rotten guts, kind
of like what ry Brussels sprouts all the time.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, Okay, is there a solution here or you just
wanted to slag him off?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
The solution is do not in Jess Brussels sprouts ever again.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I'm already there.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, but that was for my husband. I hope you're listening, Ryan,
but they're off the menu, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
This is Crisp Page and am so Paige.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Over the school holidays, my family and I went down
to a caravan park. Have you ever taken your kids down?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I haven't taken my boys to a caravan park, but
I have very fond memories as my childhood, so I
must do it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yes, honestly, it is the most nostalgic thing I do
quite often with our kids. We've got all different groups
like Ryan friends and then My friends, and we go
to all these different caravan parks. And when I tell you,
it's like you just hand over the reins of parenting
to the holiday caravan park. That sounds a little bit neglectful,
(08:25):
but there's something about holiday parks which just I feel
like it brings out the best in both parents and kids.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You know why, It's because that's how we're meant to live.
That takes a village to raise a child. Yep, that's how.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Humans used to live in that big communities like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
That's right. And also I think there are so many
boundaries that we put up for kids, and so many
safety measures and nets at play now because we're so
scared of ever anything ever happening to our kids, which
I absolutely understand and all this stuff.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Don't talk torpedoes, but the way kids and the way
I grew up, you need risky play, you need independence,
You need to be on your bike and fall off.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I mean sorry, I always wore a helmet. But like,
let's say a scooter, you need to be able to,
you know, get a gray's knee, and you need to
be going down to the lake or the beach with friends,
and you know.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
You're a bottle.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You all look up for each other and it's just
so nice and it just brings back so many memories
of when I was young at a caravan park and
you get up, you know, with the sun, your parents
are still asleep. You grab your scooter and you ride around.
And that is literally that was my kids. Like my
kids are Kobe's what six, Bobby's at or just turned aid,
(09:45):
and Charlie's nine, and I run a pretty tight ship
at home, Like we're having dinner at five and showered
and bed seven seven thirty.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
That's all out the window, mate.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I don't even think I fed my kids. Like they
were just eating corn, chips, cheese, a rogue sausages.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Just foraging around a caravan park and other sites.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah. Well, one day I caught Bobby, my middle child,
he was just having dinner with another family. He'd met
this really sweet little girl called Georgie. They're going to
be pen pals. Maybe it was his first crush. Very sweet,
and he was just plopped up on a deck chair
having a sausage in a sandwich with her family. And
it's like sometimes I was like, oh, I really should
(10:28):
find where they are and maybe put them to bed.
You know, it's ten thirty. I've had fourteen wines.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But you figure, as long as they're in the park correct,
and you sort of have a fair idea of the
other people in there, you feel pretty good about it.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well. And I also think it's a you know, it's
a closed in park. It is safe. I'm going to
just stick with my positive thinking. It is a safe environment,
and you know, if anything happens to a kid, like
a little boy was riding his bike. It was very early.
I'd gotten up to go for a walk and he
came off and he had this huge stuck on his
bike and he was crying, and I picked him up,
and I had no idea what caravan or ten or
(11:03):
cabin he was in, and I kind of just walked
around and his parents eventually came out. They were also fastest.
But it's again you were telling me.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Before, actually that kid and you poured vodka into so
I wouldn't get infected.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I didn't, but I did have some band aids, and
I was just like, we've got to get down to
caravan parks more.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Often that's the experts talk about kids being too mollycoddled
and they don't build any resilience.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's exactly right, or learn.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Any lessons about consequences. I mean, can you I know
where sun safe and everything now, and yeah, you've got
to wear suncream. But a kid has to get sunburnt
once to know. Hey, when mum and dad say put
on the sunscreen.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
They know why. You've got to learn.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Once you've got to have that that hot thing, and
then it starts peeling off and you can't sleep at night.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
You need it once.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Have you just signed an advertising deal with Big four
or something?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Is this an AD?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I haven't know. It is not an AD because you
do it. And I hoe myself around to all different
caravan parks, right, I'm not loyal to any single one
of them. I'm everywhere.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Okay. Was there a shop like canteen shop?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Of course, there was get your redskins? Yeah there was
no no, No, they don't exist anymore, but redskins. No,
but there was. There was a little touch shop with
lollies and ice creams so that my kids bled me dry.
But I mean that's basically all they ate memories, junk food,
late nights.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I'm doing it next school holiday, caravan park.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
But hang on, you have to do it with other families. Okay, Yeah,
it's a little boring if you just go with your own.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
All right, Well, I'll try to make some friends and
have something next holiday.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Yeah I do.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I reckon, Now, boys would get along?
Speaker 4 (12:47):
All right? Can I come on holidays with you? See
more of me?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Even now it is crisp page and amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
This might ruin the mood I was on TikTok. You
know that this is kiss no actually because a girlfriend
sent me this link and it's this general than talking
on TikTok about the state is going to start fining
drivers who eat or drink within their car. And you
(13:20):
and I both get pretty.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I want to we love to drive through, we love
to drive.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
No, I was going to say, we both get a
bit like ragey on the topic of the government already
peering into our car. Yes, this one's going to piss
you off even more.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
Drink driving has a whole new meaning in New South Wales,
as of the twenty third of October. You cannot drink
water or eat any food while you're driving. Otherwise you
get a fifteen hundred dollar fine. That's insane. So if
you're thirsty on a forty degree day, stop the car,
park it up? What a cup holders for?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Now, that's a good point.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
That has to be.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
You cannot news.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Is it. They can't say you are not allowed to
have a sip of water or a maybe you're a
diabetic and you need a sugar fix, you're not allowed
to have a sip of a coke or no.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
No, no, no, no, no, he's got his No he's wrong,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
No.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
New South Wales and Queensland governments both I don't know
about Victoria, but New South Wales and Queensland both say
it falls under the distracted driving things, so basically the
police officer's discretion. But I think it's if you are
taking the piss, like if you're like if you've got
your knife and fork. Ount you remember that guy.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I swear he was on the news and he must
have gone via underneath the camera intentionally and he was
cooking himself a steak.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, so that yes, probably find that guy. No, but
you can. You can eat it. You can eat a
cheeseburger because that's a one handed berth.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
You can eat cheesberger, but not a big mac.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Well, a big mac, I think is a two handed burger.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
You can't. You can drive with your knees. I do
a lot of driving with my knees.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
No, that's the ship that will get you fined driving
with your knees. Really, yeah, that's like that would be distracted.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
D probably drive better with my knees than my hands.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
That's what they're talking about. You you can have you
can have a sippy of drink, you can have a
cheesey in your hand.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So wait, So if you get pulled over by a
highway patrol guy and he comes up to your window
and he sees and a Porto's meal sitting on your lap,
can he find.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
You if it's up it says you if it affects
the driver's you're driving of the car.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
So if you're swerving, yeah, there is swerving all over
the road.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
And he pulls you over and you got the Portho's
meal in your lap, then yeah, he can say that's
what caused you.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
To be distracted, and he can find me yes.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
For distracted driving, but it's not particular to food or drink.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Wow, I mean you'd be an idiot to leave it
on your lap anyway, you put it on the passenger see,
you'd be flicking it to the floor real quick.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
But I mean the reason that video has gone viral
is because it's really believable, because it would if if
I'm allowed to hold a cheeseburger in my hand, then
you can hold my phone in my head.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Although you don't look.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
At a cheese you can't hold your phone. And because
the minute you look at your phone, five minutes goes
part Oh what's that on?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
That's right, I'm doing one hundred and ten k's an
hour on the freeway right now. Oh, I'm not laughing
at Look back up and make sure everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I am absolutely all for the phones being banned. They
are very distracting.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
But you can still eat and drink while you're driving.
It's a non alcoholic yeah. Obviously that was another question
I had ages ago. Can you drink a beer while
you're driving as long as you're under the limit? So
question apparently, no, you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
So you can't have an RTD and drive in the car.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
No you if you're drinking a beer behind the wheel,
even if you're like POINTZH two and your phone.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, because one little RTD seltzer or something that wouldn't
put you over the limit.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
No yet, but you're still drinking an open alcohol.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
What about like a bottle of Grange if you were
like you know, and you had the decanter out and
behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
No anything to do with alcohol, I think in cars.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
But it's a nineteen seventy five Graine for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Oh yeah, and they're gonna be like, oh yeah, oh
you know, you're right, You're.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Right, Off you go, you're scamp.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, this is Cris Page and Amy Jerid.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Went shopping the other day. Yeah, and well actually I
didn't even go shopping.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Look.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
I ducked into this weird organic supermarket. I was away
from where I live. I was doing something else and
I thought I need to grab something for dinner. So
I went to the shop I never usually go to.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Bought some steaks actually very nice.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
But as I was at the checkout, they scan them
through and went to pay, and they said, are you
a member with US? I thought, I just and that'll
do me enough enough with Are you a member? I everywhere.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
You can't go anywhere. I Every single time I go
to Baker's Delight, they say, are you a member? I
said no, I don't want to be I don't want
your free loaf of bread. I don't want to be
a member every single time I go there, Hey, you
a member? So I've tried to keep going back to
the same chick. So she recognizes me, so she doesn't ask,
but she still asks. Yeah, calie press. I went to
get a bloody juice the other day from an area
(18:10):
that I never ever visit. Hey, you a member. I
was like, what to buy a juice?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
You know you get it on the logins as well, maccas.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Now you go to the macas screen and click it
and goes do you want to continue without login?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yes? I do. I just want to cheeseberk.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I want to check out as a guest leave me alone. Well,
it makes sense because my emails. I'm on a Gmail
account and normally my primary folder is just all emails
from people who I've actually given my email address to Sure,
but now I'm getting emails from Bunnings every It's almost
like every single place that I visit or any place
(18:48):
that you online shop for you instant obviously you've got
to put your email, but instantly you just start getting
all their dms.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think email address, don't you like a lot of people.
I know my wife has her email address and then
an email address that she puts down for like Sunglass Hut, and.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So all that goes to You're right, I probably do
need to do that, but I there's already too many
email address.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Now you need it, you need a membership email address.
Now you need the secondary one. Because enough we got it.
We got a beautiful lamb euros the other day near
work here and you went down and we were putting
it in the screen.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
They're going, are you a member? Like I've never been
here in my life.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I just want to get a euros? Why would you become?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
I mean, and I'm never coming back.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I understand you know your woolies and your coals, and
you're you know you're getting your flybys or your will
worse rewards. I get that you spend so much money there,
and you're you're frequently using those places and spending money there.
But a juice place, like, how often are members coming
to get a juice? So they are we shopping there
(19:50):
twice a day.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
And because you've always had the cards right that people
put in their wallets. Remember George Costanza had the wallet
that he couldn't shut because he had all the cards
where you know, you get and you'd get the stamp
and so you'd get eleven subways and your twelfth sub
is free.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Yes, and all that, but.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Now coffee cards. Yeah, I don't even take my wallet anymore.
I've got a app that stores all my members ship
cards in and app, so I just take my phone. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
It's bad with products.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
You don't really want to be reminded of how much
you've used them, Like I mean, Macas is one. I
love Macas, but I don't really need a record of
how often.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like you have hit VIP status. Yes, you get a
free mcflurry.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Exactly like shit Dan Murphy's, Hey, guess what you're a
VIP pla.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I didn't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
You don't probably a platinum.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I had someone ask me the other day. They go, hey,
when you go to Aldi liquor, Yeah, does it come
up as liquor or does it just come through as Aldi?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Because I just I don't need to know. Because when
the wife does the monthly budget. It's like, oh, we
spent God, we spent a lot on groceries at Aldi
this month, didn't we Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Think it would just come through as Audi.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Actually, if anyone could tell us that thirteen one of
six five months, my mate comes to know.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
This is crisp page and amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
People say to me, Oh, do you hate working on
the weekend? And I love it. I'm getting out of
two kids parties today.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Oh, You're so lucky. I actually had my son's birthday
over the school holidays and I actually put up a
post on socials. And what I hadn't realized is the
perception that people take from obviously what I upload and
what I realized was I had gotten Bobby all these presents.
And upon reflection, I looked back on the photo because
(21:35):
some people were like, oh my god, he's so spoiled. Wow.
I saw this as amount of an absorbent amount of
gifts for Bobby, and I had a look at the
photo and there must have been maybe I don't know,
twenty presents there. But what these people didn't realize is
that Bobby is very much a quantity over quality guy,
(21:58):
and I could have got him you know, a brand
new bike and I don't know, a brand new PS five,
which would have cost I don't know, fifteen hundred dollars,
and he'd go over. He would have had two presents
there and he would have been outright disappointed. So instead
I just got.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Him twenty shitty srap little presents from the base warehouse
and he lost his mind, and in totality it probably
equated to four hundred dollars if that.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I'm talking water balloons, squishes. We wrapped up a tin
of tennis balls. Now to the naked eye, to the
adults that were, you know, obviously followed me on socials,
they were like, oh wow, I feel terrible about the
four presents that I got my kids, and you.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Did have them beautifully wrapped, so it looked, it looked great.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It looked Yeah, it probably looked excessive, but I did
it for my son, who came down and pooped out
a rainbow because he was like, there's so many presents.
And even my daughter got swept in it, swept up
in it because she was like, I didn't get that
many presents, and I was like, Charlie, they're all just
crap from China, Like they're all going to go in
the bin in like three weeks time. Probably it is.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
It's you know, you go to kmart and buy twenty
things from the Ancho right, their bread and butter, the
Ancho products. But you're right, it's all plastic, yes, and
it's all cheap as and it just it's going to
get used for ten seconds to go away. Like remember,
you know they used to have old metal and wooden toys. Yeah, blacks,
I don't remember, but our parents probably did. Yeah, and
(23:31):
they'd last.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
They'd last. I had a dollhouse that was wooden and
it lasted for years and years and years, whereas now
everything's plastic exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I mean, we're going to save the planet, ye worry
about the wind farms and don't make me eat bugs.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
How about we just lose some of these plastic toys.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'll tell you why no one's buying them, because the
wooden toys are four times as expensive.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Yeah, but they last.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
True.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
But you're right, kids kids these days. I hate saying
because I sound.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Really old old, but yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
They want more and more more, I guess because they
see everything. Henry had a well, both my boys had
a joint birth party recently, and Henry's eight now, so
he's getting to that age where a few of the
a few of his mates and well their mums who
know each other, actually put together their money. Rather than
(24:21):
getting the twenty dollars Ancho random thing.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
They brought him something like cool.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Four of his little mates gave him I think it
was some lego thing worth about eight one hundred bucks
or something, and.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
It was useful. It was good.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Like you know, what there should be for kids parties,
like a wedding. You should have a gift register or
a wishing well.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Can you imagine being like, here's my kid's seventh birthday
invitation and here's the gift registry.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah I would I would not mind that, or it
saved me time going hey, please don't go down to
the zap variety still juggling balls. Please just put twenty
bucks into the wishing well for Henry's new bike, trampoline
(25:08):
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
It's such a On one hand, I actually think you're
doing the parents are solid, You're making it easier for them.
But then on the other half, like my other hand
is saying that's outrageous, like try trying to insist these
are the only presents he wants and you have to
buy from here.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
I think it's smart, the way of the future.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yeah, it's going.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
To stop waste.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Listen, I'm not against it.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yeah, I agree, it's not there's no romance to it.
I suppose there's no mystery.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
No parents buying for another child. They don't want romance.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, you don't want romance anywhere you're a children's birthday party.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Actually correct, it's going to end up in jail.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah. Anyway, so we got nowhere on that. Yes to
the wishing well or no, you're all for.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
It, I'll give it a go next birthday, and I'll
tell you if there's backlash.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, I feel like you might get some Well.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You're it means you're asking for money, and I'm just
saying no, oh wait, you're going.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
With the wishy well okay, Wow.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I'm saying I'm not asking for money. I'm just or no,
you have the gift list of gifts and go, yeah,
put some money in.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
But the kid's not gonna like that.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Nah.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Who said kids' parties are about kids enjoying them? It's
about me not having a house full of crap?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Sure, this is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So guess what's back?
Speaker 4 (26:29):
What's back?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I guess it was back not eminem pubes.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Huh hm, Well everything old is new again, so retro
stuff is cool.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
So apparently skims Kim Kardashian, they have brought out these horrendous,
disgusting looking G strings that are like a T string,
and then on the outside of where the front woman's
vulva parties, it's coated in what looks like pubes. So
you've got black pubes, brown pubes, fair, ginger pubes.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
It's a Mercan.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
It's a Mercan and they sold out. Now, the thing
that concerns me is Kim Kardashian, all her flaws. She
also she is basically the reason why large asses are hot.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
But she's the original influencer. She actually influences. She doesn't
just postphono. She she says something is a thing and
people copy it.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Big booties were never a thing. And then she came
out with her bedonk at the back and everyone was like,
I want that, And I don't know what on earth
she's doing now, but bringing out a G string that's
coated in pubes has got to be absolutely ridiculous. I'm
not against pubes. I am not against a landing strip.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Well that's hardly thought.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Hang on, I'm not as against a v I'm not
against some pubic care, are you?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
What about a bush? I am against eighties bush.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I'm against even men having bushes. Like if Ryan hasn't
clipped his underbits for a long time, and and it's
the Bilanglo State forest down there that I'm not that's
not hot, That is not sexy.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
You don't want a man to be like a Ken Dole.
You don't want baby smooth.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
You know that would probably creep me out. Just maintenance.
I'm all for a bit of maintenance, okay, Like if
I let myself go, my pubs will grow down my legs.
Yeah wow right.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
So okay, Well that leads me to this question. Why
do women need to buy a G string? I don't know,
fake hair on it? When if pubes are back and
they're cool, and Kim Kardashian says they're great, can't you
just grow your own save some money.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Well, the thing is a lot of these women and
Kim Kardashian probably is the same, they've had laser.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, so they've got no.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Hair I said this to a friend of mine who
years ago was she was doing radio ads actually for
the for the laser hair removal and saying, oh, I've
had it done.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I said, does it grow back? She has no. I said,
you know, fashion comes around and retro stuff will be cool.
You're going to need to get a mercan one day.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, Kim Kardashian is the answer to her. Now, these
hideous looking pube g strings they've gone. They've sold out worldwide,
They've sold out, and someone was like, oh, Kim Kardashian's
bringing back pubes, and someone else said I'd like to
see her rocking them.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Well, that's what I'm guessing.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
If she wants to say pubes, I actually we need
you need an Instagram photo, don't you have, Kim? Well,
I mean you obviously don't want to post like a
revealing foot. What about Kim in like a tiny, tiny
g string with the bush sprouting out everywhere.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I think the pube g strings are because she can't
sprout them. She wants to have pubes and now she can't. Come. Me.
On the other hand, I've never been able to get
laser because my hair is so fair.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Well, it's an idea.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
So if you've had the laser, then it's smooth or time,
and if you're in the mood for pubes, you whack
on the hair. I want to talk to you more
another time about like men, what men should she doing
down there?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I do a deep dive on that because I found
my first gray pubic care the other day.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
Unfortunately it was in a kebab. It's an old joke.
You like that, but yeah, careful with that joke. It's
an antique.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Okay, we will catch you next weekend. Everybody, have a
great This is
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Chris Page and Amy Gerard.
My Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, sir, I'll talk. Let's got good morning that remains
to be seen. Chris Page and Amy Girard in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Hey, good morning everyone, Happy Sunday, Amy Gerard.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Morning, Paigey.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh wow, we.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Actually do need a coffee.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Yeah, let's see this. I went to the movies last night.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You love a movie.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I love going to the movies, and particularly more so
when I've seen a great you know, a movie that
makes you love going to the movies again?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Did you literally sent me a message? Hang on? Can
I get it up? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
This was my second time. This was my second viewing
of this movie.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
No, yes, oh you went twice.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I went again last night, One Battle after another.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
You wrote, Oh my god, if Ryan wants to see
one Battle after go with him. Make it a gold
class date. It is so unbelievably good. And then he said,
don't take the kids. It's only M. But I have
no idea how it got that rating.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, it's a hard M but it's Leonardo DiCaprio, Benicio
del Toro.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's got a great.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Sean Penn is you haven't seen Sean Penn.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Like this before, really, like it is this surprises all,
you know, you just don't know what's going to happen,
and you're constantly surprised.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So just for a bit of background, you did show
me the trailer of it, and it just looked weirdly chaotic,
and it didn't even the trailer didn't make a lot
of sense to me.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It is a bit chaotic and it is a bit weird.
I just don't know how you could. You couldn't be bored.
You might not love it as much as I loved it, granted,
but I don't see how anyone could sit there and go, God,
this move, I'm bored.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And it was easy to follow along. Yeah okay, yeah, yeah, okay.
Well we've got we've actually got some gold class vouchers
from old Christmas presents.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
So everyone done that. I never use it, and.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Honestly, they're about to spy. And I was like, these
are not just normal seats. These a gold class. Like
even if we just go and eat dinner there.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
You know, a lot of the cinemas I reckon have
done themselves a disservice.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
And they've made the normal cinema.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
See it's so good that you go, well, I don't
need gold Class so true. You just go to a
normal one now and it's the full recliner. Yeah, would
have been going, well, why am I paying fifty bucks for.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The Yeah, you wouldn't unless you get him as a
voucher for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, or unless a movie company was like, send me
gold class tickets and I could go and just check.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
How great you would love that, wouldn't you? You love a movie,
be a great movie critic.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
The best anyway, go see it? One battle after another
near Leo.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Very good.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
This is Chris Page and Amy's ride right right up, bit.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Of blow the dust off this. It's been a little while.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Anyone would anyone anyone would think he's been on his
best behavior?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Okay, here it is Amy's husband Ryan, because it was
weekly when we started the segment, what's Ryan done this week?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It could it could easily be weekly. Yeah, But then
I was a bit like, oh what am I am?
I just shitcanning my husband every week? Yeah, I've got
a bit boring. I prefer to do a twist face anyway.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Oh so, but I've got a doozy this week, and
it has to be spoken about because it was outrageous obviously.
I mean I was gonna say, like most men, but
you're you don't fight in front of your wife?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
No, yeah, and she certainly doesn't at all.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, I just don't know what that would even feel like.
I think I've just been plagued by farts my whole life.
I grew up with brothers, yes, right, so I've just
been literally encapsulated by them forever.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
And you are like a really easy bowing blonde woman.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What does that have to do with.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It means you're hot enough to not get kicked out
of a guy's bed for dropping a fight.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I know I'm not fighting. I'm saying everyone around me farts.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Oh okay, yeah, because I'm just saying if you're like
a five out of ten and like I was only
just going to sleep you anyway, and it's like borderline
and some get out.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Oh really, Oh you're a pretty well.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
So you're like a solid nine. Yeah right, I'll pretend
that didn't happen.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Well, thankfully, I'm not big on the old anal acoustics,
but my husband is. I gave him the green light
at the start of our relationship. I think he actually
asked me, oh, like, do you mind like passing? You know,
if guys fart?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Did you say, you know, because you wet the bed
on that first date? Do you mind if I fart?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
No, he didn't say that, but he did ask if, like,
I was okay with farts, and I said yes. It
was the biggest mistake of my life because I was,
you know, I was trying to be cool. Yeah, of course,
I grew up with brothers, no issue.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But you assumed he was a normal, healthy person with
a well adjusted gut.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yes, I did. And when I tell you he's not so.
For eleven years now, I've all thought that he's got
undiagnosed IBS because the farts are a lot, and I
didn't think they could get any worse until last week.
And I don't know if you have a certain food
that sets you off, but I'll tell you what it is.
(05:26):
For my husband, it's Brussels sprouts and we both had
a huge dish of them. When I tell you Ryan's
farts went from forty a day to about fifteen hundred,
I was it was a bit like, oh, well, another one,
oh and okay, all right? Wind down you in it,
I open all the doors and then I was like,
is something going on? Like, what on earth is happening?
(05:49):
You have not stopped fighting Brussels sprouts.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
That's a shit food.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
It already tastes bad, so you have to disguise the
taste of it, and it gives you rotten guts farts
as well.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Well. They do say that Brussels sprouts is one of
the one of the number one vegetables that create gas
in your.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Guts, So why would you.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I love Brussels sprouts and they don't make me too.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I know it's the well baked beans obviously fiber and
there's the old what was the song at school about.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Baked beans are good for your heart. The more you eat,
the more you fart, the more you fut, the betty
you feel. So baked beans for every meal.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Sponsor our segment, Hines, We'll sing that every Sunday.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
We talked about our what are they called new tribuleets
on air. So I'm a smoothie guy now, yes, and
as you said, I'm not a massive farter, but I
will say the daily kale cheer seed, green apple berry smoothie.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Yeah, I wouldn't look it gets things moving.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yes, you're like a pop off and then a follow through.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, but it has a pungence. I suppose to it.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Food. Yeah, I feel like the healthier the food, the
smellier the fart.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, an egg fart smell like egg.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I think that's the only food that just goes straight
through I feel without changing growth.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Just thinking of you doing kale fart?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
What does kale? Kale doesn't smell.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Kale doesn't have a smell, and neither does a kale fart.
But your fats smell like you've got rotten guts, kind
of like what ry Brussels sprouts all the time.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, Okay, is there a solution here or you just
wanted to slag him off?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
The solution is do not in Jess Brussels sprouts ever again.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I'm already there.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, but that was for my husband. I hope you're listening, Ryan,
but they're off the menu, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
This is Crisp Page and am so Paige.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Over the school holidays, my family and I went down
to a caravan park. Have you ever taken your kids down?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I haven't taken my boys to a caravan park, but
I have very fond memories as my childhood, so I
must do it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yes, honestly, it is the most nostalgic thing I do
quite often with our kids. We've got all different groups
like Ryan friends and then My friends, and we go
to all these different caravan parks. And when I tell you,
it's like you just hand over the reins of parenting
to the holiday caravan park. That sounds a little bit neglectful,
(08:25):
but there's something about holiday parks which just I feel
like it brings out the best in both parents and kids.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You know why, It's because that's how we're meant to live.
That takes a village to raise a child. Yep, that's how.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Humans used to live in that big communities like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
That's right. And also I think there are so many
boundaries that we put up for kids, and so many
safety measures and nets at play now because we're so
scared of ever anything ever happening to our kids, which
I absolutely understand and all this stuff.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Don't talk torpedoes, but the way kids and the way
I grew up, you need risky play, you need independence,
You need to be on your bike and fall off.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I mean sorry, I always wore a helmet. But like,
let's say a scooter, you need to be able to,
you know, get a gray's knee, and you need to
be going down to the lake or the beach with friends,
and you know.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
You're a bottle.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You all look up for each other and it's just
so nice and it just brings back so many memories
of when I was young at a caravan park and
you get up, you know, with the sun, your parents
are still asleep. You grab your scooter and you ride around.
And that is literally that was my kids. Like my
kids are Kobe's what six, Bobby's at or just turned aid,
(09:45):
and Charlie's nine, and I run a pretty tight ship
at home, Like we're having dinner at five and showered
and bed seven seven thirty.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
That's all out the window, mate.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I don't even think I fed my kids. Like they
were just eating corn, chips, cheese, a rogue sausages.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Just foraging around a caravan park and other sites.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah. Well, one day I caught Bobby, my middle child,
he was just having dinner with another family. He'd met
this really sweet little girl called Georgie. They're going to
be pen pals. Maybe it was his first crush. Very sweet,
and he was just plopped up on a deck chair
having a sausage in a sandwich with her family. And
it's like sometimes I was like, oh, I really should
(10:28):
find where they are and maybe put them to bed.
You know, it's ten thirty. I've had fourteen wines.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But you figure, as long as they're in the park correct,
and you sort of have a fair idea of the
other people in there, you feel pretty good about it.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well. And I also think it's a you know, it's
a closed in park. It is safe. I'm going to
just stick with my positive thinking. It is a safe environment,
and you know, if anything happens to a kid, like
a little boy was riding his bike. It was very early.
I'd gotten up to go for a walk and he
came off and he had this huge stuck on his
bike and he was crying, and I picked him up,
and I had no idea what caravan or ten or
(11:03):
cabin he was in, and I kind of just walked
around and his parents eventually came out. They were also fastest.
But it's again you were telling me.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Before, actually that kid and you poured vodka into so
I wouldn't get infected.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I didn't, but I did have some band aids, and
I was just like, we've got to get down to
caravan parks more.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Often that's the experts talk about kids being too mollycoddled
and they don't build any resilience.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's exactly right, or learn.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Any lessons about consequences. I mean, can you I know
where sun safe and everything now, and yeah, you've got
to wear suncream. But a kid has to get sunburnt
once to know. Hey, when mum and dad say put
on the sunscreen.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
They know why. You've got to learn.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Once you've got to have that that hot thing, and
then it starts peeling off and you can't sleep at night.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
You need it once.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Have you just signed an advertising deal with Big four
or something?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Is this an AD?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I haven't know. It is not an AD because you
do it. And I hoe myself around to all different
caravan parks, right, I'm not loyal to any single one
of them. I'm everywhere.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
Okay. Was there a shop like canteen shop?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Of course, there was get your redskins? Yeah there was
no no, No, they don't exist anymore, but redskins. No,
but there was. There was a little touch shop with
lollies and ice creams so that my kids bled me dry.
But I mean that's basically all they ate memories, junk food,
late nights.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I'm doing it next school holiday, caravan park.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
But hang on, you have to do it with other families. Okay, Yeah,
it's a little boring if you just go with your own.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
All right, Well, I'll try to make some friends and
have something next holiday.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Yeah I do.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I reckon, Now, boys would get along?
Speaker 4 (12:47):
All right? Can I come on holidays with you? See
more of me?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Even now it is crisp page and amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
This might ruin the mood I was on TikTok. You
know that this is kiss no actually because a girlfriend
sent me this link and it's this general than talking
on TikTok about the state is going to start fining
drivers who eat or drink within their car. And you
(13:20):
and I both get pretty.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
I want to we love to drive through, we love
to drive.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
No, I was going to say, we both get a
bit like ragey on the topic of the government already
peering into our car. Yes, this one's going to piss
you off even more.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
Drink driving has a whole new meaning in New South Wales,
as of the twenty third of October. You cannot drink
water or eat any food while you're driving. Otherwise you
get a fifteen hundred dollar fine. That's insane. So if
you're thirsty on a forty degree day, stop the car,
park it up? What a cup holders for?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Now, that's a good point.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
That has to be.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
You cannot news.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Is it. They can't say you are not allowed to
have a sip of water or a maybe you're a
diabetic and you need a sugar fix, you're not allowed
to have a sip of a coke or no.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
No, no, no, no, no, he's got his No he's wrong,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
No.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
New South Wales and Queensland governments both I don't know
about Victoria, but New South Wales and Queensland both say
it falls under the distracted driving things, so basically the
police officer's discretion. But I think it's if you are
taking the piss, like if you're like if you've got
your knife and fork. Ount you remember that guy.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I swear he was on the news and he must
have gone via underneath the camera intentionally and he was
cooking himself a steak.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, so that yes, probably find that guy. No, but
you can. You can eat it. You can eat a
cheeseburger because that's a one handed berth.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
You can eat cheesberger, but not a big mac.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Well, a big mac, I think is a two handed burger.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
You can't. You can drive with your knees. I do
a lot of driving with my knees.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
No, that's the ship that will get you fined driving
with your knees. Really, yeah, that's like that would be distracted.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
D probably drive better with my knees than my hands.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
That's what they're talking about. You you can have you
can have a sippy of drink, you can have a
cheesey in your hand.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So wait, So if you get pulled over by a
highway patrol guy and he comes up to your window
and he sees and a Porto's meal sitting on your lap,
can he find.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
You if it's up it says you if it affects
the driver's you're driving of the car.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
So if you're swerving, yeah, there is swerving all over
the road.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
And he pulls you over and you got the Portho's
meal in your lap, then yeah, he can say that's
what caused you.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
To be distracted, and he can find me yes.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
For distracted driving, but it's not particular to food or drink.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Wow, I mean you'd be an idiot to leave it
on your lap anyway, you put it on the passenger see,
you'd be flicking it to the floor real quick.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
But I mean the reason that video has gone viral
is because it's really believable, because it would if if
I'm allowed to hold a cheeseburger in my hand, then
you can hold my phone in my head.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Although you don't look.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
At a cheese you can't hold your phone. And because
the minute you look at your phone, five minutes goes
part Oh what's that on?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
That's right, I'm doing one hundred and ten k's an
hour on the freeway right now. Oh, I'm not laughing
at Look back up and make sure everything's okay.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I am absolutely all for the phones being banned. They
are very distracting.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
But you can still eat and drink while you're driving.
It's a non alcoholic yeah. Obviously that was another question
I had ages ago. Can you drink a beer while
you're driving as long as you're under the limit? So
question apparently, no, you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
So you can't have an RTD and drive in the car.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
No you if you're drinking a beer behind the wheel,
even if you're like POINTZH two and your phone.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, because one little RTD seltzer or something that wouldn't
put you over the limit.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
No yet, but you're still drinking an open alcohol.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
What about like a bottle of Grange if you were
like you know, and you had the decanter out and
behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
No anything to do with alcohol, I think in cars.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
But it's a nineteen seventy five Graine for God's sake.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Oh yeah, and they're gonna be like, oh yeah, oh
you know, you're right, You're.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Right, Off you go, you're scamp.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, this is Cris Page and Amy Jerid.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Went shopping the other day. Yeah, and well actually I
didn't even go shopping.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Look.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
I ducked into this weird organic supermarket. I was away
from where I live. I was doing something else and
I thought I need to grab something for dinner. So
I went to the shop I never usually go to.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Bought some steaks actually very nice.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
But as I was at the checkout, they scan them
through and went to pay, and they said, are you
a member with US? I thought, I just and that'll
do me enough enough with Are you a member? I everywhere.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
You can't go anywhere. I Every single time I go
to Baker's Delight, they say, are you a member? I
said no, I don't want to be I don't want
your free loaf of bread. I don't want to be
a member every single time I go there, Hey, you
a member? So I've tried to keep going back to
the same chick. So she recognizes me, so she doesn't ask,
but she still asks. Yeah, calie press. I went to
get a bloody juice the other day from an area
(18:10):
that I never ever visit. Hey, you a member. I
was like, what to buy a juice?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
You know you get it on the logins as well, maccas.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Now you go to the macas screen and click it
and goes do you want to continue without login?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yes? I do. I just want to cheeseberk.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I want to check out as a guest leave me alone. Well,
it makes sense because my emails. I'm on a Gmail
account and normally my primary folder is just all emails
from people who I've actually given my email address to Sure,
but now I'm getting emails from Bunnings every It's almost
like every single place that I visit or any place
(18:48):
that you online shop for you instant obviously you've got
to put your email, but instantly you just start getting
all their dms.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think email address, don't you like a lot of people.
I know my wife has her email address and then
an email address that she puts down for like Sunglass Hut, and.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So all that goes to You're right, I probably do
need to do that, but I there's already too many
email address.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Now you need it, you need a membership email address.
Now you need the secondary one. Because enough we got it.
We got a beautiful lamb euros the other day near
work here and you went down and we were putting
it in the screen.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
They're going, are you a member? Like I've never been
here in my life.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I just want to get a euros? Why would you become?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
I mean, and I'm never coming back.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I understand you know your woolies and your coals, and
you're you know you're getting your flybys or your will
worse rewards. I get that you spend so much money there,
and you're you're frequently using those places and spending money there.
But a juice place, like, how often are members coming
to get a juice? So they are we shopping there
(19:50):
twice a day.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
And because you've always had the cards right that people
put in their wallets. Remember George Costanza had the wallet
that he couldn't shut because he had all the cards
where you know, you get and you'd get the stamp
and so you'd get eleven subways and your twelfth sub
is free.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Yes, and all that, but.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Now coffee cards. Yeah, I don't even take my wallet anymore.
I've got a app that stores all my members ship
cards in and app, so I just take my phone. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
It's bad with products.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
You don't really want to be reminded of how much
you've used them, Like I mean, Macas is one. I
love Macas, but I don't really need a record of
how often.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like you have hit VIP status. Yes, you get a
free mcflurry.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Exactly like shit Dan Murphy's, Hey, guess what you're a
VIP pla.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I didn't need to know that.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
You don't probably a platinum.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I had someone ask me the other day. They go, hey,
when you go to Aldi liquor, Yeah, does it come
up as liquor or does it just come through as Aldi?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Because I just I don't need to know. Because when
the wife does the monthly budget. It's like, oh, we
spent God, we spent a lot on groceries at Aldi
this month, didn't we Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Think it would just come through as Audi.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Actually, if anyone could tell us that thirteen one of
six five months, my mate comes to know.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
This is crisp page and amy to ride.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
People say to me, Oh, do you hate working on
the weekend? And I love it. I'm getting out of
two kids parties today.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Oh, You're so lucky. I actually had my son's birthday
over the school holidays and I actually put up a
post on socials. And what I hadn't realized is the
perception that people take from obviously what I upload and
what I realized was I had gotten Bobby all these presents.
And upon reflection, I looked back on the photo because
(21:35):
some people were like, oh my god, he's so spoiled. Wow.
I saw this as amount of an absorbent amount of
gifts for Bobby, and I had a look at the
photo and there must have been maybe I don't know,
twenty presents there. But what these people didn't realize is
that Bobby is very much a quantity over quality guy,
(21:58):
and I could have got him you know, a brand
new bike and I don't know, a brand new PS five,
which would have cost I don't know, fifteen hundred dollars,
and he'd go over. He would have had two presents
there and he would have been outright disappointed. So instead
I just got.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Him twenty shitty srap little presents from the base warehouse
and he lost his mind, and in totality it probably
equated to four hundred dollars if that.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I'm talking water balloons, squishes. We wrapped up a tin
of tennis balls. Now to the naked eye, to the
adults that were, you know, obviously followed me on socials,
they were like, oh wow, I feel terrible about the
four presents that I got my kids, and you.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Did have them beautifully wrapped, so it looked, it looked great.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
It looked Yeah, it probably looked excessive, but I did
it for my son, who came down and pooped out
a rainbow because he was like, there's so many presents.
And even my daughter got swept in it, swept up
in it because she was like, I didn't get that
many presents, and I was like, Charlie, they're all just
crap from China, Like they're all going to go in
the bin in like three weeks time. Probably it is.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
It's you know, you go to kmart and buy twenty
things from the Ancho right, their bread and butter, the
Ancho products. But you're right, it's all plastic, yes, and
it's all cheap as and it just it's going to
get used for ten seconds to go away. Like remember,
you know they used to have old metal and wooden toys. Yeah, blacks,
I don't remember, but our parents probably did. Yeah, and
(23:31):
they'd last.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
They'd last. I had a dollhouse that was wooden and
it lasted for years and years and years, whereas now
everything's plastic exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I mean, we're going to save the planet, ye worry
about the wind farms and don't make me eat bugs.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
How about we just lose some of these plastic toys.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'll tell you why no one's buying them, because the
wooden toys are four times as expensive.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Yeah, but they last.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
True.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
But you're right, kids kids these days. I hate saying
because I sound.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Really old old, but yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
They want more and more more, I guess because they
see everything. Henry had a well, both my boys had
a joint birth party recently, and Henry's eight now, so
he's getting to that age where a few of the
a few of his mates and well their mums who
know each other, actually put together their money. Rather than
(24:21):
getting the twenty dollars Ancho random thing.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
They brought him something like cool.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Four of his little mates gave him I think it
was some lego thing worth about eight one hundred bucks
or something, and.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
It was useful. It was good.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Like you know, what there should be for kids parties,
like a wedding. You should have a gift register or
a wishing well.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Can you imagine being like, here's my kid's seventh birthday
invitation and here's the gift registry.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah I would I would not mind that, or it
saved me time going hey, please don't go down to
the zap variety still juggling balls. Please just put twenty
bucks into the wishing well for Henry's new bike, trampoline
(25:08):
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
It's such a On one hand, I actually think you're
doing the parents are solid, You're making it easier for them.
But then on the other half, like my other hand
is saying that's outrageous, like try trying to insist these
are the only presents he wants and you have to
buy from here.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
I think it's smart, the way of the future.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yeah, it's going.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
To stop waste.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Listen, I'm not against it.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Yeah, I agree, it's not there's no romance to it.
I suppose there's no mystery.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
No parents buying for another child. They don't want romance.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, you don't want romance anywhere you're a children's birthday party.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Actually correct, it's going to end up in jail.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah. Anyway, so we got nowhere on that. Yes to
the wishing well or no, you're all for.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
It, I'll give it a go next birthday, and I'll
tell you if there's backlash.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, I feel like you might get some Well.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You're it means you're asking for money, and I'm just
saying no, oh wait, you're going.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
With the wishy well okay, Wow.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I'm saying I'm not asking for money. I'm just or no,
you have the gift list of gifts and go, yeah,
put some money in.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
But the kid's not gonna like that.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Nah.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Who said kids' parties are about kids enjoying them? It's
about me not having a house full of crap?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Sure, this is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So guess what's back?
Speaker 4 (26:29):
What's back?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I guess it was back not eminem pubes.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Huh hm, Well everything old is new again, so retro
stuff is cool.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
So apparently skims Kim Kardashian, they have brought out these horrendous,
disgusting looking G strings that are like a T string,
and then on the outside of where the front woman's
vulva parties, it's coated in what looks like pubes. So
you've got black pubes, brown pubes, fair, ginger pubes.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
It's a Mercan.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
It's a Mercan and they sold out. Now, the thing
that concerns me is Kim Kardashian, all her flaws. She
also she is basically the reason why large asses are hot.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
But she's the original influencer. She actually influences. She doesn't
just postphono. She she says something is a thing and
people copy it.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Big booties were never a thing. And then she came
out with her bedonk at the back and everyone was like,
I want that, And I don't know what on earth
she's doing now, but bringing out a G string that's
coated in pubes has got to be absolutely ridiculous. I'm
not against pubes. I am not against a landing strip.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Well that's hardly thought.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Hang on, I'm not as against a v I'm not
against some pubic care, are you?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
What about a bush? I am against eighties bush.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I'm against even men having bushes. Like if Ryan hasn't
clipped his underbits for a long time, and and it's
the Bilanglo State forest down there that I'm not that's
not hot, That is not sexy.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
You don't want a man to be like a Ken Dole.
You don't want baby smooth.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
You know that would probably creep me out. Just maintenance.
I'm all for a bit of maintenance, okay, Like if
I let myself go, my pubs will grow down my legs.
Yeah wow right.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
So okay, Well that leads me to this question. Why
do women need to buy a G string? I don't know,
fake hair on it? When if pubes are back and
they're cool, and Kim Kardashian says they're great, can't you
just grow your own save some money.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Well, the thing is a lot of these women and
Kim Kardashian probably is the same, they've had laser.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, so they've got no.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Hair I said this to a friend of mine who
years ago was she was doing radio ads actually for
the for the laser hair removal and saying, oh, I've
had it done.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
I said, does it grow back? She has no. I said,
you know, fashion comes around and retro stuff will be cool.
You're going to need to get a mercan one day.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, Kim Kardashian is the answer to her. Now, these
hideous looking pube g strings they've gone. They've sold out worldwide,
They've sold out, and someone was like, oh, Kim Kardashian's
bringing back pubes, and someone else said I'd like to
see her rocking them.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Well, that's what I'm guessing.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
If she wants to say pubes, I actually we need
you need an Instagram photo, don't you have, Kim? Well,
I mean you obviously don't want to post like a
revealing foot. What about Kim in like a tiny, tiny
g string with the bush sprouting out everywhere.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
I think the pube g strings are because she can't
sprout them. She wants to have pubes and now she can't. Come. Me.
On the other hand, I've never been able to get
laser because my hair is so fair.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Well, it's an idea.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
So if you've had the laser, then it's smooth or time,
and if you're in the mood for pubes, you whack
on the hair. I want to talk to you more
another time about like men, what men should she doing
down there?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I do a deep dive on that because I found
my first gray pubic care the other day.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
Unfortunately it was in a kebab. It's an old joke.
You like that, but yeah, careful with that joke. It's
an antique.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Okay, we will catch you next weekend. Everybody, have a
great This is
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Chris Page and Amy Gerard.
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