One of the things that surprised me the most when I learnt more about ADHD was that we tend to all be people with big feelings. I had always thought that I just ‘felt’ things really deeply and that was just the way it was, but it turns out it isn’t a unique experience at all. Whether it’s a result of constantly being told we are ‘too much’ I’m not sure; but what I am sure about is that consistently being told I was too much left me with a pretty insatiable need for validation. Again, I don’t seem to be alone in that either…
Joining the podcast today is the wonderful Sabrina Zohar! Sabrina is a relationship expert, entrepreneur and podcast host of the Sabrina Zohar show. I was particularly drawn to Sabrina because of her no bullshit, tell it like it is style of communicating. Today we take a big dive into big feelings, our experiences of learning how to accept ourselves and how ADHD has affected our relationships.
We spoke about:
- Being diagnosed later in life, something really common for women
- Sabrina’s misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and the dangers of misdiagnosis
- How we both found ourselves craving validation from people around us
- How we show up in the dating world when we feel like we are ‘too much’ but also not enough
- Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD
- Repetition compulsion
- How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains
- When to talk about ADHD in relationships
Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
4:40 - Sabrina's diagnosis
7:45 - Being misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder
9:10 - The symptoms of ADHD that Sabrina experienced
12:30 - Where the need for validation came from
15:00 - Worthiness & how the dial shifted for Sabrina
18:00 - How long does 'the work' take?
22:15 - Being 'too much' but also not enough
25:20 - Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD
31:00 - Make them a real person
34:00 - Big feelings and Repetition compulsion
33:50 - How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains
37:48 - Dating burn out & chasing 'the highs'
41:10 - Looking for something different in dating
45:30 - When to talk about ADHD in relationships
You can find more from Sabrina’s website
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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