December 21, 2023 • 42 mins
This episode features Gunditjmara, Keerray Woorroong, Djap Wurrung woman Sissy Austin, discussing her experiences as a queer First Nations woman and her involvement in community, politics and running the New York marathon. She shares reflections of running as a Green senate candidate and serving on the First People's Assembly of Victoria. Sissy talks about her journey of resilience, including recovering from a traumatic attack while running and training for the New York marathon. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, community support, and embracing love.
This episode is brought to you by BlakCast and produced by Clint Curtis.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The following episode contains discussions about experiences of violence, which
may be distressing for some listeners. We want to make
sure you're aware of the nature of the content before
continuing listening to the discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm Mitika and I'm Courtney, and we're two queer First
Nations women passionate about representation for our community. We created
this podcast to share our stories. We want you to
join us on the journey.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You're listening to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hi, there, and welcome back to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
We're a podcast that celebrates the voices of First Nations
LGBTQ members. I'm your host, Courtney, and I'm also joined
by Mitika. Today we have a remarkable guest with us,
Sissy Austin. Cissy, We're so excited to talk with you
this morning.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Thanks for joining us. Hello, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And one thing we really like to do is not
introduce guests in our own words. We wanted to leave
it up to you to introduce yourself. Who's your mob
and where you're from.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm Sissy Austin.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I'm a Gunda Chamara Kirai Warong Japarong woman, and I'm
currently on judjar wroung Country and Yeah, proud Black Queer
woman and Sissy. How would you explain, Yeah, your other
roles outside of community, what do you do day to day?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Oh day today?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I work in community, I guess and I run. I
spend a lot of time lately on I guess myself
and self care, healing, but also always making space for like,
you know, black joy and having fun and being around
the people that I love and care about. And yeah,
(01:48):
I think making space for that in our day to
day lives is really important absolutely, And growing up in
I guess that that area of Victoria, how would you
say your upbringing has shaped I guess all of those
things you were just saying now about your roles and
your prioritization of self care has been on country, and
(02:09):
your connection with country kind of been a huge staple
for that. Yeah, I feel like the idea of kind
of like quote self like self care has you know,
fluctuated throughout my journey.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's kind of like I feel like, particularly as black women,
it can be.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
It's taken me a while to get to a point
where I feel comfortable to prioritize it and put boundaries
up around that.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And the importance of that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
But yeah, growing up, it's yeah, definitely fluctuated throughout my journey.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I've definitely had a journey.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But yeah, always always retreat to country and to the
grounding and healing of country one hundred percent. Like there's
no separation between yeah, men, my connection to country and
all the elements, especially water, Like I just love the water.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Cissy.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I'm so excited to have you on because I know
you wear so many different hats, so we could probably
have like five episodes with just you on them. But
I'm really keen, I guess to hear a bit more
about you. Know, you're I would describe you as a
really politically active person, a huge advocate for our mob
in our community. So you've been a former Green Senator candidate,
(03:30):
You've been involved in the First People's Assembly of Victoria.
I suppose I'm really keen to hear about what that
experience has been like for you, sort of being in
the political feel as a queer First Nations woman, the
positives and the negatives of that experience.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, I think like I often don't reflect on the
things like all the varying I guess roles and positions
that I've found myself in within my journey, but I
kind of just take you know, one day at a time,
and I'm always guided by you know, family and community
(04:09):
and country and if it feels right to be in
a space at that time and being you know, I
guess like loud and proud at that time about a
specific you know, a topic or issue. I've always felt
grounded and confident in that, like because I don't just
(04:30):
I don't do it just I don't just wake up
and be like, yep, I'm gonna, you know, stand for
the First People's Assembly or I'm going to run on
that you know, senate ticket. I always make sure that
I've kind of got all of the guy in tune too,
all of the guidance, all the different guidance that we
(04:51):
as Buffollows know.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Know very well.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And so yeah, I don't know like where there's where
there's something that I feel needs to be spoken up about,
like I will one hundred and ten percent speak up
about it. I think my time on the First People's
Assembly of Victoria, whilst it was really good, it was
actually quite short because I did say in my first
(05:19):
speech at the time that if the Victorian State government
was to destroy any element of Japaron Country that I
would find their kind of I guess partnership or whatever
with the Assembly. I'd find it tokenistic, gammon whatever, and
(05:40):
that doesn't align with my values and as a Gunichmara
Kira Warung Japaron woman. And I don't know, if you know,
lots of people would probably remember that period of time.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It was a really rough time.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It was during COVID lockdowns, but it was also on
the day that Melbourne's harsh As lockdown was lifted, on
the same day where one of our our directions tree
was cut down on Japaron Country, And that was when
I very loud and proudly stepped off the First People's
(06:22):
Assembly of Victoria.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
And I don't regret stepping off.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It was important for me to stay true to myself
and to my community. But I am grateful for the
opportunity that I had on the Assembly and really grateful
for community that did vote me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
On to the Assembly. But yeah, and I've just you know,
it always.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Been who I am as a black queer woman, just
navigating life and different situations the best that I can. Yeah,
that must have been a huge wage, you know, huge
moment for you to to two step because there's a
lot of pressure to you know, be at the table
(07:09):
for a lot of these conversations and decisions. And I
think it's a very admirable thing that you did by
by stepping off. And I know that there were a
lot of people then and still now that really admire
and are inspired by the way that you, yeah, stuck
to stuck to your guns and you know, stood for
what's right and sometimes it is removing yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, that was a that was a really.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Brave but yeah, very inspirational thing, and I think I
really wanted to know more as well. I guess now
I get your hopes for the Assembly and for you
first name, you know, first peoples of Victoria in general.
Do you have some hopes that after that? I guess
self removal? What are you hoping that the direction that
they'll start undergoing? I know that there's treaty conversations. How
(07:55):
what's your views on everything going on down there? Yeah,
there's some there's some incredible people elected onto the Assembly
at the moment, there was in my term and there
are now in the newly elected term, and yeah, I
absolutely you know, trust their guidance and their resistance on
(08:21):
the Assembly. And whilst i've kind of I'm not heavily
involved in it, I'm you know, involved where necessary as
a community member. But I do think that, yeah, there's
quite a few members on the Assembly that I trust
and am guided by, and I think they're they're making good,
(08:45):
good progress for our people in this state. And i'd
hope that the Victorian state government, yeah, would meet them
where where we demand to be met, I guess so. Yeah,
And speaking of government, seeing your time with the Greens,
(09:06):
I'm really curious, you know, I think we're you know, millennials.
You know, whenever I've sort of looked at politics and
many of us growing up you look at politics as
something you know, we're born into, but often it's not
really something that we're involved in. And I wanted to
know what when was the moment for you that you
(09:27):
decided that I'm gonna I'm gonna run for it, I'm
gonna go for the Senate. Yeah, I've obviously Senator Lydia
thought is an incredible community member who, yeah, we all
love and exist with down here, particularly in so called Victoria,
(09:49):
and Lydia's always been someone that I've trusted and share
a really you know, similar vision and belief for our
people with alongside her. And when she was speaking of
having an all black Senate ticket, which is, you know
the first time it's ever happened, I just I felt
(10:14):
the significance of that. And whilst I didn't really have
a goal you know, as all to get in, it
was more about ensuring that that there be as many
Black voices as possible throughout that election process, and that
we use that opportunity to you know, elevate our vision
(10:37):
and and speak of the issues facing our people in
our communities and on our country.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And yeah, it was it was a it was a
good experience.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It feels like a lifetime to be honest, Like it
feels like so much has happened since that, but it
feels like it was quite a long time ago, which
it probably actually wasn't. But yeah, it was just another
one of those moments, I guess in my journey where
I trusted the guidance of you know, my ancestors and
(11:10):
community members around me, and I trusted and continue to
trust Lidia.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Would you have any advice for you know, any young
black queer people or not don't necessarily have to be young,
you know in uh if they are considering following some
of the footsteps of yourself for or you know, the
likes of Lydia and others, do you have any advice
based on your experience so far?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I just like, if you want to be there, mate.
I think that we.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Underestimate our our knowledge and our power and our ability
to exist so staunchly in spaces like running or you know,
an experience of running, you know, for any kind of
elected position, there's like we are so deadly, and we
(12:07):
underestimate our deadliness. And I feel like from experiences like
these and then being amongst like other people, you're like,
oh my god, Like I'm actually so okay here, and
I can like be beyond okay here, Like I can
actually fully be myself, Like I don't need to be
(12:27):
putting on that like governmente talk tone whatever, I don't
need to be speaking in like no acronyms, or like
I don't you know, I don't need to change at
all to actually be in this space. And that's something
that I've I feel like I've really admired in Lidear
(12:51):
and her ability to stay her and maintain at herself,
which is a reflection of our community and it's people
like Lydia that then you see yourself in and so
and see yourself represented. So I don't know, just like
like I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but like,
(13:13):
believe in yourself and our like our strengths, and we've
we've got more than what they've got, like our guidance
and you know, the ancestors will.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Guide us to where we need to be.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And if if you feel like in your gut that
that's something that you need to do or you know,
want to do, like absolutely go for it.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
You know, I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
And you know, speaking of I suppose going for it before,
as we mentioned, you many hats the different things that
you do. You also write, I've seen a few articles
that you've put together.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You also run a blog.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
And in between all of that, you know, speaking of
self care, one thing that you are like I suppose
known for as well is is running. And I really
wanted to, yeah hear all about how you know, how
that started? Have you always been you know, quite active?
Has running always been something that you've enjoyed? Yeah, Look,
(14:10):
I first started running probably when I was maybe like
I've always liked being active. I've never been like proper
talented in any sport, you know, but I've always loved
being active. I always loved like smashing cross country at
like primary school, in high school, like I've loved long
(14:33):
distance anything.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Really.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I loved the challenge of it. Mentally. I did start
running probably nineteen twenty, and yeah, it was got pretty
obsessed with half marathons back then. I'm nearly thirty now,
so thirty in March, but yeah, and then had a
(14:57):
few injuries that kind of derailed me for a little bit.
There had to have two back surgeries, and I was
just like absolutely beside myself. I guess having those that
those injuries, I was able to then experience the experience
(15:22):
running not being there and not being accessible during that
period of my life, like from recovering from two major
back surgeries, and I think it was, yeah, that kind
of experience that that had me determined to get that
back into my life, attempt to get that back into
(15:45):
my life, and I did, like I absolutely was very
motivated to recover and yeah, just kind of ran off
and on. Since then, It's always been my go to
kind of like de stress morriment, like running and especially
running on country.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
But yeah, it wasn't until training for this.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Marathon most recently that I've been like it had to
be like really really consistent with training in order to
run a marathon. And yeah, I absolutely loved it. And
that was by and that was also you know, engaging
with the Indigenous Marathon Project. What was that experience like
for you. Yeah, it's been it's been a huge year
(16:34):
for me. I don't I don't think it's like a
it's not like an unknown thing about my experience this year.
But I've always wanted to apply to be a part
of the Indigenous Marathon Project. There was someone in our community,
Jess love but Maray, who completed the marathon through the
(16:57):
Indigenous Marathon Project a few years ago, and that was
when I first heard of the project. And yeah, just
absolutely admired Jess. But I've always yeah, every single year
when applications have, you know, open and closed, I've it's
(17:19):
never been never felt like the right time for me.
I'm always raising kids, and but I I had Yeah,
this year, I just at the start of the year,
I felt like this was the year that I really
really actually wanted to apply, and so yeah, I applied
(17:42):
I think in January, and yeah, just I put in
that you say, the application process is you put in
like a paper kind of application or online moment and
then then they hold like the tryout to cross the
state and the tryouts were in Victoria, in arm Down
(18:07):
in Melbourne, and I guess like the attack while I
was running happened after the application process, but just before
the tryouts. So I was like absolutely heartbroken that I
wasn't able to make the tryouts and did think that
I was completely out of it. But that's a you
(18:27):
know that that application process isn't as a story in
itself that I don't know, like I'm a big storyteller,
so cut me off when I start going on.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Now, you're good.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Long story short was that I was selected and it
was just like it was incredible, like I just felt
I felt like it was exactly what I needed and
it was the ancestors put all that in place for
me this year in particular, and I'm just so, you know,
(19:01):
so grateful for that. And yeah, I remember the final
step of my application process was the head coach said
that we would need a letter from my doctor.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And I've got this incredible doctor that I've had for
years and years and years. Everyone knows about Greta. She's
just amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
But I called her because I suffered a pretty significant
concussion and I was still recovering from that, and you know,
I had to do the interview with the head coach
as well, and it was like I barely had any speech,
and yeah, it was it was a whole process, that
(19:42):
application process.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
But I called my doctor and I called.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Her a million times that day and she hadn't picked up,
but she she did call me back and thought something
was like wrong, And I said, Greta, I need you
to write a letter to say that I can start
training for the New York Marathon. And she was like, look,
(20:06):
I'm not surprised to hear this from you. I'm also like,
you also have a concussion.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
And I was like.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
No, Gretta, And I was like, I was like, I'm
being really serious here, like and like started protesting about
this letter that I needed.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
And she was like, Cissy, I'm not saying no.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I just like just can you just let me think
about it, because I just like started going on a
tangent on the phone about like why I needed this
letter so badly. But then she was like, look, you know,
running isn't a contact sport, Like it's not like I'm
going to get you know, tackled or whatever like, and
I'm like, gret up, i will run the marathon with
(20:50):
a helmet on, like I'll do all the training with
a hammet on.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
And she was like, Cissy, just like give me.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
And then she was like he thought about it, and
she just so like the only thing that we'll need
to manage is my fatigue, like with suffered and still
suffer from post concussion syndrome, and it was just going
to be a gamble basically, and she kind of like
put that in the letter a little bit. It was
(21:16):
like it said something like, you know, she supports me
going like doing it, but she doesn't know how I'll go.
And I remember reading that sanus on the letter thinking like, nah,
you've ft it, like like I was like a little
(21:36):
bit thing that she put that line in the letter
because I was like, nah, they're not going to select me,
because they're gonna you know whatever. But yeah, when I
got the call from the head coach that I'd been selected,
I literally just was like in tears. I was at
home with my dogs and I was like crying saying,
my dogs, we got in, We got in, and so
(21:59):
it was there's going to be a gamble, and it
was I've thanked the coach for the gamble that he
made on me and to train for this marathon whilst
recovering from the trauma of being attacked running but also
like from yeah, going through the thing with post concussion syndrome.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think it's so amazing. And we see these examples
all the time, and I really wish that mainstream media
would highlight these more. Just these incredible examples of deadly
black resilience, whether that's you know, having had injuries and
then still making your way to being able to do
this marathon. I can't even like I struggle to walk
(22:41):
down the street to the shop. But the resilience that
you've shown in actually still getting ready for this and
doing it is incredible. And we see examples of that
black resilience in so many ways, and black queer resilience
as well. For those of those listening who may not know,
would you mind just sort of summarizing the injury in
(23:03):
terms of, like I wasn't running in the propen to me.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
For those who don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, so I was it was actually it was, it
was quite It was during so I feel like there
was still summer. It was at the start of this year,
twenty twenty three, and I'd obviously gone out on country
as I do, and yeah, went for a run and
(23:30):
was yeah, I guess randomly attacked while I was running,
and yeah, it was pretty banged up and injured my
head mostly, and yeah, it's still something that obviously, you know,
healing from. And yeah, the trauma of that was definitely
(23:55):
going to be like a factor that needed to be
taken into consideration in training for the marathon, given that
we were having to train six.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Days a week.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
But yeah, I was pretty much hiring for like six
weeks after that, I could couldn't leave the house. But
after I was selected, Yeah, my first few runs, I
just like I just cried, Like I just cried, well
because I like putting the runners on again, and like
it was just such an emotional experience because I never
(24:29):
thought that I would be able to run again. Like mentally,
I just woul felt so scared.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And I did I and I did what's the word.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I didn't vlog, but I documented my training journey online,
and there was many moments on my Instagram stories where
I was just like burst into tears during a run,
being like I just can't do it, Like it's like
I just feel scared, like because flies were a massive
trigger for me, and the side of a fly while
(25:06):
I was running would just have me in a ball
in the middle of wherever I was running.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
So but yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah, I mean, that's that's so understandable. And to see
all of the hard work you've put in to come
through that, and I'm sure it's something that you know
you'll you'll continue to work through, but to have that
like I did it at the end must have been
so liberating and FREEK as well.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
One hundred percent, And like I, the training journey was
an interesting one for me too because I I did
get an injury quite early.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
On as well.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
For the training for the marathon I had to stress
for actually in my leg and actually a lot of
my marathon training I had to do in the pool.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I had to do deep water running.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Which I had never heard of until my training journey.
And yeah, so I just spent hours and hours and
hours deep water running up and down, up and down,
up and down the pool. And for those that don't know,
like deep water running, you wear like a foam kind
of floatation belt around your waist and then you're in
(26:16):
the deep water, deep water and you just kind of
run and it's actually so hard. And I hated it
at the beginning, but then I kind of surrendered to
it and I just imagined myself being on Gudnichmra country
and once I kind of changed my mindset and imagine this,
(26:40):
you know, chlorine swimming pool with like these white women
talking about, you know, the sales at Harris Garf in
the pool laying with me. Once I like let go
of that anger towards them and towards like the pool
and whatever.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Like I absolutely fell in love with it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And yeah, the gamble was then like my stress was
like this training is definitely not going to transfer out
onto the track, Like how am I.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Actually you know, going to do this? But it did.
It was incredible.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Like my first proper test we have to do, you
have to do a thirty k test event in Alice
Springs and that's about four weeks before the marathon in
New York, So there's a lot of build up to
that event. If you can't do that event, you don't
get selected to go to New York to run the marathon.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So that was a beautiful run.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
It was absolutely incredible, that thirty k test event. And
I think that's where I learned that, you know, deep
water running is deadly and it Yeah, it was a
massive part of my you know, marathon training journey was
the water.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And who would have thought that, right, Like it's it's
literally like the opposite place that you would think about running. Yeah, yeah,
but it's amazing, Like rehabilitation. I saw in your kind
of like Instagram posts when you finished the marathon you
reflected on like healing and tackling your trauma head on
and becoming like a stronger, clearer minded version of yourself.
(28:22):
And I listening to your you know, your story of resilience,
it's like a lot of people would see you know,
your story written on written on paper and think, like,
you know, the last thing you'd think someone in your
you know, your circumstance would have done is you know,
beg slash, you know, slightly threatening your doctor to make
(28:42):
sure that you can go and run and train.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's like it's to be able.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
To do that, Like and I guess learning a bit
more about your backstory. I'm actually not really that surprised now,
seeing like aware of your yeah, your yeah you'll work
with you know, you're saying you care for kids, and
you are an incredibly resilient person. Like I can tell
that that has come from some things a lot earlier
(29:09):
on in life. But do you think that that kind
of shapes your reaction and your ability to like kind
of not really lie down and give up you kind.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Of pretty much the opposite.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, this is me, this is us, Like this is
like both of you as well. I had this like
and I'm working on writing a piece at the moment
about my actual marathon experience. You see, the thing with
the marathon is that most white men talk about that
the marathon is like the hardest thing that you will
(29:45):
ever do. And we were kind of like told this
throughout the training period that like this will be the
hardest thing that you'll ever do, Like this will like
change your life. Whilst it was life changing in a
lot of aspect. I you know, it was getting there
to the start line with my incredible squad of you know,
(30:06):
black followers from across the country, and then we were told,
you know, at the thirty k point because we've never
ran beyond thirty k's and the marathon's forty two point two?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Is that where the marathon begins? Is it the thirty k?
Speaker 1 (30:20):
And you know, I was running got to twenty I
was like this is golden deadly, you know, like running
through New York. I was like like feeling on top
of the like actual world.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And then it got.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
To like thirty k and I'm like, all right, okay,
I'm like waiting for this thing to get hard. And
I was like kind of getting a bit disappointed because
I was like, when's.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
This going to get hard? Like I want to meet
what hard is? Like where are you?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And then I was like, you know, FaceTime my best
friend who is back here in bed in Australia, And
I'm like running along facetiming at like the fair.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm like I'm like I'm at thirty two k's and
she's like what.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I'm like, yeah, this thing's not hard yet, like it hadn't.
And it was like I was like, I reckon. I
got to like the thirty five k's and I got
really emotional because I'm like I kind of was like
I was like maybe like I was like, this isn't hard.
And I was like, as a black queer woman, I
(31:24):
was like, every single in particular black you know women,
we know what heart is. And I was like, I've
met hard before, actually, and this marathon comes nowhere near
close to the hard that me and our people have met.
And then I was just running along and I was
(31:45):
imagining every single and I was imagining Gunish Mara people
in particular wearing that marathon metal and I was like,
I was just like and this was my thought pros
as I'm going telling myself, all right, the marathon's white
man hard.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
I was like, it was literally my like thought process.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And I was like going through all of my aunties
and imagining their faces and like my uncles as well,
and I was imagining their faces as marathons. And then
you know, I got to the finish line and I
was so emotional because I had this realization that we've
(32:26):
we've all met a hard before that we actually should
never have met, but we have, and it just makes
us like so and like I was saying before, like
how deadly we actually are and we don't we don't
give ourselves that, you know that that credit credit of
strength and resilience that we all withhold, and that was like, yeah,
(32:50):
I'm trying to write a piece to process it because
then everyone was saying, you know, that must have been
so hard, But I'm like, no, actually, you're a marathon
I've been saying to everyone, because you've met the same
hard that I've met.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And I didn't meet.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
That hard out on the marathon course in you know,
New York City. I learn a lot about myself out there,
but I learned mostly a lot about my people, you know.
And I am going to run another marathon in April
in four months, just to double check. I just like.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I just need a double check, like to make sure
the hard.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Maybe I'm in search for a hard that I already know,
but I do want to double check. There's there's a
marathon on water on Country Balorat, and I'm really determined
to run a second one. But yeah, that's like kind
of been my message of my arm to all my
family and community members that I've gone to post the
marathon is just like emphasizing real hard ways that like
(33:56):
we're all marathon is, you know in our own right.
Oh my lord, I'm like ready to run like right now.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
After listening to that.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Holy moly, since seriously like I think as a yeah,
as a queer black woman, as a black woman, as
a woman, Yeah, we're just in complete awe and incredibly inspired,
and so much of what you've just said is is
really connecting to us. And I know that there'll be
many people are listening who might not even be in
any of those demographics that will that will feel really
(34:31):
connected to those words.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
And I'm not.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Surprised because I've read your writing that the way you
speak is yeah, just as impactful and in an incredible
So thank you so much for sharing that, you know,
and sharing your trauma like that as well. I really
wanted to talk as well about you know, your support systems,
and I want to talk about Mandy or at least
some of that, but also your I guess your identity,
(34:55):
like before I'm talking about you know, identifying as queer.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Has that Has it always been the case for you?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
And what was that? Like I guess coming.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Out It's probably been this year where I've reflected on
it the most, Like I've never kind of been like
I guess out there like oh I'm queer, but I've
also like never always that you know that one in
high school that was never interested in, you know, boys
(35:26):
or having relationships with boys. But I always thought there
was like something wrong with me with that, but also
never put pressure on myself with that as well. So
it's kind of just and you know, I've had We've
all had incredible you know, queer community members that have
come before us that have made just like naturally kind
(35:49):
of coming out.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
So effortless, I feel, and.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Especially people really close to me, And yeah, I think
that like I basically decided to publicly come out because.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I don't know, like I could have kept cruising along.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Without it and kept continue being proud you know, black
queer woman, but I kind of did it effortlessly, and
I didn't. I felt hald and supported and loved by
my community in that moment, but I also felt like
held and supported and loved prior to that moment for
(36:33):
who I was. And it was funny, like most people
all just said like, oh, we knew like we or
really knew that about you, like and yeah, I love
that about our community, you know, very in tune with
each other.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
But yeah, and then obviously, like I've been.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Like recently open about it, is like whilst training for
the marathon, I was like fallen in love, which has
been so beautiful with my now, like with my girlfriend Mandy,
and like, I just love that. And I'm just like, yeah,
really really happy and just yeah, proud to be happy,
(37:16):
proud to be black, queer, but just yeah, proud to
have Yeah. I guess the marathon being this year like
experiencing like love and being loved this year. It's yeah,
it's it's all been like, yeah, a blessing from the ancestors,
but it's yeah, it it sheds light on the world
(37:39):
for me. Like it started out that after the attack,
I was like kind of you know, I was like, oh,
this world's you know ft, like, you know, it's scary whatever.
But people like Mandy and people like you know, like
my best friend, and they reminded me that there's beautiful
(38:03):
people and that love exists in the world. And yeah,
I've loved that about this year, that like really in
my face, showing me that the love that exists in
the world, and that yeah, that that attack from that
individual doesn't you know, represent the world entirely, and that
(38:25):
was an important thing that I needed to realize and
relearn this year.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I love it. That's so sweet.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
If you go back and listen to any of the episodes,
you'll know that. I'm always like, tell us how you
met your partner?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I love love.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
That's so awesome. Thank you so much for showing that.
And it's so wonderful to see so many positives have
come into your life and will continue to come into
your life into the new year as well. I guess
to start wrapping things up. We're moving into Christmas, we're
moving into the new year. Do you have any New
Year's resolutions other than I guess the next marathon you're running.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, I have thought about news resolutions day.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like, I just think I need to maintain how I'm
you know, doing right now, to be honest, But yeah,
I want to train for this next marathon.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I want to. I want to just double check.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
To see whether it's like you know, white Man hard
like I think it is. And you know, I'd love
to get more mob running alongside me, or like running
virtually from a distance, like if you just want to,
you know, get on Strava.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
There's a lot of move on Strava.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
And yeah, just like being open to being loved and
vulnerable where necessary, and open to like you know, new experiences,
and I just, yeah, I kind of want to knuckle
down and do a little bit more writing, but you know,
(40:00):
I don't have like so much news resolutions. I'm just
happy to have survived this year and I'll yeah take
that into into next year and yeah, just be grateful
for everyone that kind of carried me through through this
year too, deadly, is there a way that for mob
(40:24):
who and people who listeners who are aren't following you currently,
where can we find you in the world? Like, I've
got social media like Instagram. My name is Sissy Austin.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I've like my blog.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
I try and I'm very not consistent with it, but
it's definitely there. I need to, yeah, post more of
my pieces that I have sitting on my laptop, but
that's called.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Silent no more.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
And yeah, if you want to follow my running where
I'm not posting about it on Instagram. Strava's like the
running version of Instagram, which I only met Strava this year,
but it's real deadly, like following all Mob Black Gone
for their runs on Strava and seeing all the different
country that Mob were running on and yeah, we will
(41:14):
just cheer each other on.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
So if you don't see.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
My, my my running kind of moments on Instagram. You
can definitely catch them on that that are that app
they're running out.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Strava perfect and thank you again. Just so much to see.
There's so much there to take away.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I think as queer black women, we're just yeah, so
I'm feeling so lucky to almost kind of that you
know that we belong to the same community. And yeah,
we're very proud of everything that you've done and you know,
will continue to be proud of watching on and yeah,
maybe running alongside you one day, but yeah, thank you
so much again and we look forward to yeah, watching
(41:57):
you smash it deadly.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Thank you so much much for having me.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Thanks for listening to another episode of Coming Out Black.
You can find us at coming Out Black Bilak on Instagram, Facebook,
and any way you.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Listen to podcasts.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
We would love it if you could give us a
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story to tell, please reach out to us on Facebook
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Speaker 2 (42:19):
We would love to hear from you.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We're taking a short break over the Christmas and Neea's break,
but our next episode will be out January. See you then.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
This episode is brought to you by the black Cast
Network and produced by Clint Curtis
The following episode contains discussions about experiences of violence, which
may be distressing for some listeners. We want to make
sure you're aware of the nature of the content before
continuing listening to the discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm Mitika and I'm Courtney, and we're two queer First
Nations women passionate about representation for our community. We created
this podcast to share our stories. We want you to
join us on the journey.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
You're listening to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hi, there, and welcome back to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
We're a podcast that celebrates the voices of First Nations
LGBTQ members. I'm your host, Courtney, and I'm also joined
by Mitika. Today we have a remarkable guest with us,
Sissy Austin. Cissy, We're so excited to talk with you
this morning.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Thanks for joining us. Hello, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And one thing we really like to do is not
introduce guests in our own words. We wanted to leave
it up to you to introduce yourself. Who's your mob
and where you're from.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm Sissy Austin.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I'm a Gunda Chamara Kirai Warong Japarong woman, and I'm
currently on judjar wroung Country and Yeah, proud Black Queer
woman and Sissy. How would you explain, Yeah, your other
roles outside of community, what do you do day to day?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Oh day today?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I work in community, I guess and I run. I
spend a lot of time lately on I guess myself
and self care, healing, but also always making space for like,
you know, black joy and having fun and being around
the people that I love and care about. And yeah,
(01:48):
I think making space for that in our day to
day lives is really important absolutely, And growing up in
I guess that that area of Victoria, how would you
say your upbringing has shaped I guess all of those
things you were just saying now about your roles and
your prioritization of self care has been on country, and
(02:09):
your connection with country kind of been a huge staple
for that. Yeah, I feel like the idea of kind
of like quote self like self care has you know,
fluctuated throughout my journey.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's kind of like I feel like, particularly as black women,
it can be.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
It's taken me a while to get to a point
where I feel comfortable to prioritize it and put boundaries
up around that.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And the importance of that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
But yeah, growing up, it's yeah, definitely fluctuated throughout my journey.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I've definitely had a journey.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But yeah, always always retreat to country and to the
grounding and healing of country one hundred percent. Like there's
no separation between yeah, men, my connection to country and
all the elements, especially water, Like I just love the water.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Cissy.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I'm so excited to have you on because I know
you wear so many different hats, so we could probably
have like five episodes with just you on them. But
I'm really keen, I guess to hear a bit more
about you. Know, you're I would describe you as a
really politically active person, a huge advocate for our mob
in our community. So you've been a former Green Senator candidate,
(03:30):
You've been involved in the First People's Assembly of Victoria.
I suppose I'm really keen to hear about what that
experience has been like for you, sort of being in
the political feel as a queer First Nations woman, the
positives and the negatives of that experience.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, I think like I often don't reflect on the
things like all the varying I guess roles and positions
that I've found myself in within my journey, but I
kind of just take you know, one day at a time,
and I'm always guided by you know, family and community
(04:09):
and country and if it feels right to be in
a space at that time and being you know, I
guess like loud and proud at that time about a
specific you know, a topic or issue. I've always felt
grounded and confident in that, like because I don't just
(04:30):
I don't do it just I don't just wake up
and be like, yep, I'm gonna, you know, stand for
the First People's Assembly or I'm going to run on
that you know, senate ticket. I always make sure that
I've kind of got all of the guy in tune too,
all of the guidance, all the different guidance that we
(04:51):
as Buffollows know.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Know very well.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And so yeah, I don't know like where there's where
there's something that I feel needs to be spoken up about,
like I will one hundred and ten percent speak up
about it. I think my time on the First People's
Assembly of Victoria, whilst it was really good, it was
actually quite short because I did say in my first
(05:19):
speech at the time that if the Victorian State government
was to destroy any element of Japaron Country that I
would find their kind of I guess partnership or whatever
with the Assembly. I'd find it tokenistic, gammon whatever, and
(05:40):
that doesn't align with my values and as a Gunichmara
Kira Warung Japaron woman. And I don't know, if you know,
lots of people would probably remember that period of time.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It was a really rough time.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It was during COVID lockdowns, but it was also on
the day that Melbourne's harsh As lockdown was lifted, on
the same day where one of our our directions tree
was cut down on Japaron Country, And that was when
I very loud and proudly stepped off the First People's
(06:22):
Assembly of Victoria.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
And I don't regret stepping off.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It was important for me to stay true to myself
and to my community. But I am grateful for the
opportunity that I had on the Assembly and really grateful
for community that did vote me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
On to the Assembly. But yeah, and I've just you know,
it always.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Been who I am as a black queer woman, just
navigating life and different situations the best that I can. Yeah,
that must have been a huge wage, you know, huge
moment for you to to two step because there's a
lot of pressure to you know, be at the table
(07:09):
for a lot of these conversations and decisions. And I
think it's a very admirable thing that you did by
by stepping off. And I know that there were a
lot of people then and still now that really admire
and are inspired by the way that you, yeah, stuck
to stuck to your guns and you know, stood for
what's right and sometimes it is removing yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, that was a that was a really.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Brave but yeah, very inspirational thing, and I think I
really wanted to know more as well. I guess now
I get your hopes for the Assembly and for you
first name, you know, first peoples of Victoria in general.
Do you have some hopes that after that? I guess
self removal? What are you hoping that the direction that
they'll start undergoing? I know that there's treaty conversations. How
(07:55):
what's your views on everything going on down there? Yeah,
there's some there's some incredible people elected onto the Assembly
at the moment, there was in my term and there
are now in the newly elected term, and yeah, I
absolutely you know, trust their guidance and their resistance on
(08:21):
the Assembly. And whilst i've kind of I'm not heavily
involved in it, I'm you know, involved where necessary as
a community member. But I do think that, yeah, there's
quite a few members on the Assembly that I trust
and am guided by, and I think they're they're making good,
(08:45):
good progress for our people in this state. And i'd
hope that the Victorian state government, yeah, would meet them
where where we demand to be met, I guess so. Yeah,
And speaking of government, seeing your time with the Greens,
(09:06):
I'm really curious, you know, I think we're you know, millennials.
You know, whenever I've sort of looked at politics and
many of us growing up you look at politics as
something you know, we're born into, but often it's not
really something that we're involved in. And I wanted to
know what when was the moment for you that you
(09:27):
decided that I'm gonna I'm gonna run for it, I'm
gonna go for the Senate. Yeah, I've obviously Senator Lydia
thought is an incredible community member who, yeah, we all
love and exist with down here, particularly in so called Victoria,
(09:49):
and Lydia's always been someone that I've trusted and share
a really you know, similar vision and belief for our
people with alongside her. And when she was speaking of
having an all black Senate ticket, which is, you know
the first time it's ever happened, I just I felt
(10:14):
the significance of that. And whilst I didn't really have
a goal you know, as all to get in, it
was more about ensuring that that there be as many
Black voices as possible throughout that election process, and that
we use that opportunity to you know, elevate our vision
(10:37):
and and speak of the issues facing our people in
our communities and on our country.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And yeah, it was it was a it was a
good experience.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It feels like a lifetime to be honest, Like it
feels like so much has happened since that, but it
feels like it was quite a long time ago, which
it probably actually wasn't. But yeah, it was just another
one of those moments, I guess in my journey where
I trusted the guidance of you know, my ancestors and
(11:10):
community members around me, and I trusted and continue to
trust Lidia.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Would you have any advice for you know, any young
black queer people or not don't necessarily have to be young,
you know in uh if they are considering following some
of the footsteps of yourself for or you know, the
likes of Lydia and others, do you have any advice
based on your experience so far?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I just like, if you want to be there, mate.
I think that we.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Underestimate our our knowledge and our power and our ability
to exist so staunchly in spaces like running or you know,
an experience of running, you know, for any kind of
elected position, there's like we are so deadly, and we
(12:07):
underestimate our deadliness. And I feel like from experiences like
these and then being amongst like other people, you're like,
oh my god, Like I'm actually so okay here, and
I can like be beyond okay here, Like I can
actually fully be myself, Like I don't need to be
(12:27):
putting on that like governmente talk tone whatever, I don't
need to be speaking in like no acronyms, or like
I don't you know, I don't need to change at
all to actually be in this space. And that's something
that I've I feel like I've really admired in Lidear
(12:51):
and her ability to stay her and maintain at herself,
which is a reflection of our community and it's people
like Lydia that then you see yourself in and so
and see yourself represented. So I don't know, just like
like I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but like,
(13:13):
believe in yourself and our like our strengths, and we've
we've got more than what they've got, like our guidance
and you know, the ancestors will.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Guide us to where we need to be.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And if if you feel like in your gut that
that's something that you need to do or you know,
want to do, like absolutely go for it.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
You know, I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
And you know, speaking of I suppose going for it before,
as we mentioned, you many hats the different things that
you do. You also write, I've seen a few articles
that you've put together.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You also run a blog.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
And in between all of that, you know, speaking of
self care, one thing that you are like I suppose
known for as well is is running. And I really
wanted to, yeah hear all about how you know, how
that started? Have you always been you know, quite active?
Has running always been something that you've enjoyed? Yeah, Look,
(14:10):
I first started running probably when I was maybe like
I've always liked being active. I've never been like proper
talented in any sport, you know, but I've always loved
being active. I always loved like smashing cross country at
like primary school, in high school, like I've loved long
(14:33):
distance anything.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Really.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I loved the challenge of it. Mentally. I did start
running probably nineteen twenty, and yeah, it was got pretty
obsessed with half marathons back then. I'm nearly thirty now,
so thirty in March, but yeah, and then had a
(14:57):
few injuries that kind of derailed me for a little bit.
There had to have two back surgeries, and I was
just like absolutely beside myself. I guess having those that
those injuries, I was able to then experience the experience
(15:22):
running not being there and not being accessible during that
period of my life, like from recovering from two major
back surgeries, and I think it was, yeah, that kind
of experience that that had me determined to get that
back into my life, attempt to get that back into
(15:45):
my life, and I did, like I absolutely was very
motivated to recover and yeah, just kind of ran off
and on. Since then, It's always been my go to
kind of like de stress morriment, like running and especially
running on country.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
But yeah, it wasn't until training for this.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Marathon most recently that I've been like it had to
be like really really consistent with training in order to
run a marathon. And yeah, I absolutely loved it. And
that was by and that was also you know, engaging
with the Indigenous Marathon Project. What was that experience like
for you. Yeah, it's been it's been a huge year
(16:34):
for me. I don't I don't think it's like a
it's not like an unknown thing about my experience this year.
But I've always wanted to apply to be a part
of the Indigenous Marathon Project. There was someone in our community,
Jess love but Maray, who completed the marathon through the
(16:57):
Indigenous Marathon Project a few years ago, and that was
when I first heard of the project. And yeah, just
absolutely admired Jess. But I've always yeah, every single year
when applications have, you know, open and closed, I've it's
(17:19):
never been never felt like the right time for me.
I'm always raising kids, and but I I had Yeah,
this year, I just at the start of the year,
I felt like this was the year that I really
really actually wanted to apply, and so yeah, I applied
(17:42):
I think in January, and yeah, just I put in
that you say, the application process is you put in
like a paper kind of application or online moment and
then then they hold like the tryout to cross the
state and the tryouts were in Victoria, in arm Down
(18:07):
in Melbourne, and I guess like the attack while I
was running happened after the application process, but just before
the tryouts. So I was like absolutely heartbroken that I
wasn't able to make the tryouts and did think that
I was completely out of it. But that's a you
(18:27):
know that that application process isn't as a story in
itself that I don't know, like I'm a big storyteller,
so cut me off when I start going on.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Now, you're good.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Long story short was that I was selected and it
was just like it was incredible, like I just felt
I felt like it was exactly what I needed and
it was the ancestors put all that in place for
me this year in particular, and I'm just so, you know,
(19:01):
so grateful for that. And yeah, I remember the final
step of my application process was the head coach said
that we would need a letter from my doctor.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And I've got this incredible doctor that I've had for
years and years and years. Everyone knows about Greta. She's
just amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
But I called her because I suffered a pretty significant
concussion and I was still recovering from that, and you know,
I had to do the interview with the head coach
as well, and it was like I barely had any speech,
and yeah, it was it was a whole process, that
(19:42):
application process.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
But I called my doctor and I called.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Her a million times that day and she hadn't picked up,
but she she did call me back and thought something
was like wrong, And I said, Greta, I need you
to write a letter to say that I can start
training for the New York Marathon. And she was like, look,
(20:06):
I'm not surprised to hear this from you. I'm also like,
you also have a concussion.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
And I was like.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
No, Gretta, And I was like, I was like, I'm
being really serious here, like and like started protesting about
this letter that I needed.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
And she was like, Cissy, I'm not saying no.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I just like just can you just let me think
about it, because I just like started going on a
tangent on the phone about like why I needed this
letter so badly. But then she was like, look, you know,
running isn't a contact sport, Like it's not like I'm
going to get you know, tackled or whatever like, and
I'm like, gret up, i will run the marathon with
(20:50):
a helmet on, like I'll do all the training with
a hammet on.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
And she was like, Cissy, just like give me.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
And then she was like he thought about it, and
she just so like the only thing that we'll need
to manage is my fatigue, like with suffered and still
suffer from post concussion syndrome, and it was just going
to be a gamble basically, and she kind of like
put that in the letter a little bit. It was
(21:16):
like it said something like, you know, she supports me
going like doing it, but she doesn't know how I'll go.
And I remember reading that sanus on the letter thinking like, nah,
you've ft it, like like I was like a little
(21:36):
bit thing that she put that line in the letter
because I was like, nah, they're not going to select me,
because they're gonna you know whatever. But yeah, when I
got the call from the head coach that I'd been selected,
I literally just was like in tears. I was at
home with my dogs and I was like crying saying,
my dogs, we got in, We got in, and so
(21:59):
it was there's going to be a gamble, and it
was I've thanked the coach for the gamble that he
made on me and to train for this marathon whilst
recovering from the trauma of being attacked running but also
like from yeah, going through the thing with post concussion syndrome.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think it's so amazing. And we see these examples
all the time, and I really wish that mainstream media
would highlight these more. Just these incredible examples of deadly
black resilience, whether that's you know, having had injuries and
then still making your way to being able to do
this marathon. I can't even like I struggle to walk
(22:41):
down the street to the shop. But the resilience that
you've shown in actually still getting ready for this and
doing it is incredible. And we see examples of that
black resilience in so many ways, and black queer resilience
as well. For those of those listening who may not know,
would you mind just sort of summarizing the injury in
(23:03):
terms of, like I wasn't running in the propen to me.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
For those who don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, so I was it was actually it was, it
was quite It was during so I feel like there
was still summer. It was at the start of this year,
twenty twenty three, and I'd obviously gone out on country
as I do, and yeah, went for a run and
(23:30):
was yeah, I guess randomly attacked while I was running,
and yeah, it was pretty banged up and injured my
head mostly, and yeah, it's still something that obviously, you know,
healing from. And yeah, the trauma of that was definitely
(23:55):
going to be like a factor that needed to be
taken into consideration in training for the marathon, given that
we were having to train six.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Days a week.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
But yeah, I was pretty much hiring for like six
weeks after that, I could couldn't leave the house. But
after I was selected, Yeah, my first few runs, I
just like I just cried, Like I just cried, well
because I like putting the runners on again, and like
it was just such an emotional experience because I never
(24:29):
thought that I would be able to run again. Like mentally,
I just woul felt so scared.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
And I did I and I did what's the word.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I didn't vlog, but I documented my training journey online,
and there was many moments on my Instagram stories where
I was just like burst into tears during a run,
being like I just can't do it, Like it's like
I just feel scared, like because flies were a massive
trigger for me, and the side of a fly while
(25:06):
I was running would just have me in a ball
in the middle of wherever I was running.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
So but yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah, I mean, that's that's so understandable. And to see
all of the hard work you've put in to come
through that, and I'm sure it's something that you know
you'll you'll continue to work through, but to have that
like I did it at the end must have been
so liberating and FREEK as well.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
One hundred percent, And like I, the training journey was
an interesting one for me too because I I did
get an injury quite early.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
On as well.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
For the training for the marathon I had to stress
for actually in my leg and actually a lot of
my marathon training I had to do in the pool.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I had to do deep water running.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Which I had never heard of until my training journey.
And yeah, so I just spent hours and hours and
hours deep water running up and down, up and down,
up and down the pool. And for those that don't know,
like deep water running, you wear like a foam kind
of floatation belt around your waist and then you're in
(26:16):
the deep water, deep water and you just kind of
run and it's actually so hard. And I hated it
at the beginning, but then I kind of surrendered to
it and I just imagined myself being on Gudnichmra country
and once I kind of changed my mindset and imagine this,
(26:40):
you know, chlorine swimming pool with like these white women
talking about, you know, the sales at Harris Garf in
the pool laying with me. Once I like let go
of that anger towards them and towards like the pool
and whatever.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Like I absolutely fell in love with it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
And yeah, the gamble was then like my stress was
like this training is definitely not going to transfer out
onto the track, Like how am I.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Actually you know, going to do this? But it did.
It was incredible.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Like my first proper test we have to do, you
have to do a thirty k test event in Alice
Springs and that's about four weeks before the marathon in
New York, So there's a lot of build up to
that event. If you can't do that event, you don't
get selected to go to New York to run the marathon.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So that was a beautiful run.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
It was absolutely incredible, that thirty k test event. And
I think that's where I learned that, you know, deep
water running is deadly and it Yeah, it was a
massive part of my you know, marathon training journey was
the water.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And who would have thought that, right, Like it's it's
literally like the opposite place that you would think about running. Yeah, yeah,
but it's amazing, Like rehabilitation. I saw in your kind
of like Instagram posts when you finished the marathon you
reflected on like healing and tackling your trauma head on
and becoming like a stronger, clearer minded version of yourself.
(28:22):
And I listening to your you know, your story of resilience,
it's like a lot of people would see you know,
your story written on written on paper and think, like,
you know, the last thing you'd think someone in your
you know, your circumstance would have done is you know,
beg slash, you know, slightly threatening your doctor to make
(28:42):
sure that you can go and run and train.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's like it's to be able.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
To do that, Like and I guess learning a bit
more about your backstory. I'm actually not really that surprised now,
seeing like aware of your yeah, your yeah you'll work
with you know, you're saying you care for kids, and
you are an incredibly resilient person. Like I can tell
that that has come from some things a lot earlier
(29:09):
on in life. But do you think that that kind
of shapes your reaction and your ability to like kind
of not really lie down and give up you kind.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Of pretty much the opposite.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, this is me, this is us, Like this is
like both of you as well. I had this like
and I'm working on writing a piece at the moment
about my actual marathon experience. You see, the thing with
the marathon is that most white men talk about that
the marathon is like the hardest thing that you will
(29:45):
ever do. And we were kind of like told this
throughout the training period that like this will be the
hardest thing that you'll ever do, Like this will like
change your life. Whilst it was life changing in a
lot of aspect. I you know, it was getting there
to the start line with my incredible squad of you know,
(30:06):
black followers from across the country, and then we were told,
you know, at the thirty k point because we've never
ran beyond thirty k's and the marathon's forty two point two?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Is that where the marathon begins? Is it the thirty k?
Speaker 1 (30:20):
And you know, I was running got to twenty I
was like this is golden deadly, you know, like running
through New York. I was like like feeling on top
of the like actual world.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And then it got.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
To like thirty k and I'm like, all right, okay,
I'm like waiting for this thing to get hard. And
I was like kind of getting a bit disappointed because
I was like, when's.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
This going to get hard? Like I want to meet
what hard is? Like where are you?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And then I was like, you know, FaceTime my best
friend who is back here in bed in Australia, And
I'm like running along facetiming at like the fair.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm like I'm like I'm at thirty two k's and
she's like what.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I'm like, yeah, this thing's not hard yet, like it hadn't.
And it was like I was like, I reckon. I
got to like the thirty five k's and I got
really emotional because I'm like I kind of was like
I was like maybe like I was like, this isn't hard.
And I was like, as a black queer woman, I
(31:24):
was like, every single in particular black you know women,
we know what heart is. And I was like, I've
met hard before, actually, and this marathon comes nowhere near
close to the hard that me and our people have met.
And then I was just running along and I was
(31:45):
imagining every single and I was imagining Gunish Mara people
in particular wearing that marathon metal and I was like,
I was just like and this was my thought pros
as I'm going telling myself, all right, the marathon's white
man hard.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
I was like, it was literally my like thought process.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And I was like going through all of my aunties
and imagining their faces and like my uncles as well,
and I was imagining their faces as marathons. And then
you know, I got to the finish line and I
was so emotional because I had this realization that we've
(32:26):
we've all met a hard before that we actually should
never have met, but we have, and it just makes
us like so and like I was saying before, like
how deadly we actually are and we don't we don't
give ourselves that, you know that that credit credit of
strength and resilience that we all withhold, and that was like, yeah,
(32:50):
I'm trying to write a piece to process it because
then everyone was saying, you know, that must have been
so hard, But I'm like, no, actually, you're a marathon
I've been saying to everyone, because you've met the same
hard that I've met.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And I didn't meet.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
That hard out on the marathon course in you know,
New York City. I learn a lot about myself out there,
but I learned mostly a lot about my people, you know.
And I am going to run another marathon in April
in four months, just to double check. I just like.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I just need a double check, like to make sure
the hard.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Maybe I'm in search for a hard that I already know,
but I do want to double check. There's there's a
marathon on water on Country Balorat, and I'm really determined
to run a second one. But yeah, that's like kind
of been my message of my arm to all my
family and community members that I've gone to post the
marathon is just like emphasizing real hard ways that like
(33:56):
we're all marathon is, you know in our own right.
Oh my lord, I'm like ready to run like right now.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
After listening to that.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Holy moly, since seriously like I think as a yeah,
as a queer black woman, as a black woman, as
a woman, Yeah, we're just in complete awe and incredibly inspired,
and so much of what you've just said is is
really connecting to us. And I know that there'll be
many people are listening who might not even be in
any of those demographics that will that will feel really
(34:31):
connected to those words.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
And I'm not.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Surprised because I've read your writing that the way you
speak is yeah, just as impactful and in an incredible
So thank you so much for sharing that, you know,
and sharing your trauma like that as well. I really
wanted to talk as well about you know, your support systems,
and I want to talk about Mandy or at least
some of that, but also your I guess your identity,
(34:55):
like before I'm talking about you know, identifying as queer.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Has that Has it always been the case for you?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
And what was that? Like I guess coming.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Out It's probably been this year where I've reflected on
it the most, Like I've never kind of been like
I guess out there like oh I'm queer, but I've
also like never always that you know that one in
high school that was never interested in, you know, boys
(35:26):
or having relationships with boys. But I always thought there
was like something wrong with me with that, but also
never put pressure on myself with that as well. So
it's kind of just and you know, I've had We've
all had incredible you know, queer community members that have
come before us that have made just like naturally kind
(35:49):
of coming out.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
So effortless, I feel, and.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Especially people really close to me, And yeah, I think
that like I basically decided to publicly come out because.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I don't know, like I could have kept cruising along.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Without it and kept continue being proud you know, black
queer woman, but I kind of did it effortlessly, and
I didn't. I felt hald and supported and loved by
my community in that moment, but I also felt like
held and supported and loved prior to that moment for
(36:33):
who I was. And it was funny, like most people
all just said like, oh, we knew like we or
really knew that about you, like and yeah, I love
that about our community, you know, very in tune with
each other.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
But yeah, and then obviously, like I've been.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Like recently open about it, is like whilst training for
the marathon, I was like fallen in love, which has
been so beautiful with my now, like with my girlfriend Mandy,
and like, I just love that. And I'm just like, yeah,
really really happy and just yeah, proud to be happy,
(37:16):
proud to be black, queer, but just yeah, proud to
have Yeah. I guess the marathon being this year like
experiencing like love and being loved this year. It's yeah,
it's it's all been like, yeah, a blessing from the ancestors,
but it's yeah, it it sheds light on the world
(37:39):
for me. Like it started out that after the attack,
I was like kind of you know, I was like, oh,
this world's you know ft, like, you know, it's scary whatever.
But people like Mandy and people like you know, like
my best friend, and they reminded me that there's beautiful
(38:03):
people and that love exists in the world. And yeah,
I've loved that about this year, that like really in
my face, showing me that the love that exists in
the world, and that yeah, that that attack from that
individual doesn't you know, represent the world entirely, and that
(38:25):
was an important thing that I needed to realize and
relearn this year.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
I love it. That's so sweet.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
If you go back and listen to any of the episodes,
you'll know that. I'm always like, tell us how you
met your partner?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I love love.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
That's so awesome. Thank you so much for showing that.
And it's so wonderful to see so many positives have
come into your life and will continue to come into
your life into the new year as well. I guess
to start wrapping things up. We're moving into Christmas, we're
moving into the new year. Do you have any New
Year's resolutions other than I guess the next marathon you're running.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, I have thought about news resolutions day.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like, I just think I need to maintain how I'm
you know, doing right now, to be honest, But yeah,
I want to train for this next marathon.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I want to. I want to just double check.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
To see whether it's like you know, white Man hard
like I think it is. And you know, I'd love
to get more mob running alongside me, or like running
virtually from a distance, like if you just want to,
you know, get on Strava.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
There's a lot of move on Strava.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
And yeah, just like being open to being loved and
vulnerable where necessary, and open to like you know, new experiences,
and I just, yeah, I kind of want to knuckle
down and do a little bit more writing, but you know,
(40:00):
I don't have like so much news resolutions. I'm just
happy to have survived this year and I'll yeah take
that into into next year and yeah, just be grateful
for everyone that kind of carried me through through this
year too, deadly, is there a way that for mob
(40:24):
who and people who listeners who are aren't following you currently,
where can we find you in the world? Like, I've
got social media like Instagram. My name is Sissy Austin.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I've like my blog.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
I try and I'm very not consistent with it, but
it's definitely there. I need to, yeah, post more of
my pieces that I have sitting on my laptop, but
that's called.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Silent no more.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
And yeah, if you want to follow my running where
I'm not posting about it on Instagram. Strava's like the
running version of Instagram, which I only met Strava this year,
but it's real deadly, like following all Mob Black Gone
for their runs on Strava and seeing all the different
country that Mob were running on and yeah, we will
(41:14):
just cheer each other on.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
So if you don't see.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
My, my my running kind of moments on Instagram. You
can definitely catch them on that that are that app
they're running out.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Strava perfect and thank you again. Just so much to see.
There's so much there to take away.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
I think as queer black women, we're just yeah, so
I'm feeling so lucky to almost kind of that you
know that we belong to the same community. And yeah,
we're very proud of everything that you've done and you know,
will continue to be proud of watching on and yeah,
maybe running alongside you one day, but yeah, thank you
so much again and we look forward to yeah, watching
(41:57):
you smash it deadly.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Thank you so much much for having me.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Thanks for listening to another episode of Coming Out Black.
You can find us at coming Out Black Bilak on Instagram, Facebook,
and any way you.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Listen to podcasts.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
We would love it if you could give us a
five star review and give us your feedback as it
helps other people find the podcast. If you have a
story to tell, please reach out to us on Facebook
or Instagram.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
We would love to hear from you.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We're taking a short break over the Christmas and Neea's break,
but our next episode will be out January. See you then.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
This episode is brought to you by the black Cast
Network and produced by Clint Curtis
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