December 16, 2020 • 44 mins
To start up Season 2 of Coming Out Blak, Matika and Courtney talk about the crazy world of online dating with the help of our first sponsor Bumble! Join us as we talk about bad bio's, share our experiences and talk about the time we dated the same girl! 🙊
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Coming Out Black is recorded on unseated Aboriginal land. We
wish to acknowledge and pay our respects to our elders
past present, and extend that respect to mob listening today.
My name's Matigue a Little and my name is Courtney Hagen.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
And we're two Queer Indigenous women passionate about representation for
our community.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
We've created this podcast to share our stories and we
want you to join us on the journey. You're listening
to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Oh my gosh, I have shippers.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We have our own music.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's so nice. I love again. You can't see this,
but Courtney was just dancing to that whole thing. It
was really great. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I feel like a flash Murray with our like little upgrades,
like you just got a new mic. We're not recording
off our We're not recording off our phones anymore. Oh,
we're new. Is like, this is great, You'll love to
see it.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, that's so that sound new intro and I absolutely
adore it. And I want to say a massive thank
you to Neil Johnson, who is my cousin and is
also a really fantastic member of the queer community and
the Indigenous community. And therefore a really valued member of
the coming up black community. And actually, i'll make the
(01:25):
long story short. I met Neil and then realized he
was my cousin because the person that I started dating
who is now my girlfriend and is his roommate or
housemaid I should say, lived with him. And she was like, oh,
this guy, he said, he's Rogery too, in like his
family's from Walgor and Griffith and do you know him?
And I was like, oh, I'm going to be related
to this person. And he does music and he does
(01:46):
like heaps really cool stuff. He's got a band, he's
got some solo stuff as well. So we'll make sure
that we tag him on Instagram so everyone can check
out the awesome stuff that he does. And thank you
so much Neil for putting the work into a bit
of an intro theme for us.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
How good. And I'm not gonna let you skate past
the fact that you also just said that you are
now dating someone. And I don't want to make a
big deal of it, but I pro prior to pressing record,
you did answer the phone saying hey baby, and I
feel like I need to call you out. So, just
like every episode, instead of you grilling me, I'm gonna
(02:21):
grill you. So what's the go.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, so I have a lovely girlfriend now, which is
so nice. Her name is Teagan. Oh sorry I just
said her name, but I mean she's not going to care.
I could give her a nickname, but I'm not going to.
And yeah, we've been like seeing each other I don't know,
three months or something now and then now official. So
like that's super cute and lovely for me.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh you love to see a little holiday romance right
in time for Christmas?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Right now we both have girlfriends. How cute.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It's insane. Like we started this like incredibly single, Like
we're both and I was very like anti dating, anti people,
and I.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Was very into dating into people.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
We've come full circle. I love it we have.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Actually that leads really well into today's topic. I know
that we've done an episode before on relationships, and we've
done an episode on sex as well, and everyone really
really enjoyed that. We got heaps of great feedback, so
we thought we'd start season two off on a familiar note,
but also you know, leveling it up. So we're going
to dive into that conversation a little later. But first
(03:31):
and foremost, we took a little break to get ready
for season two, didn't we port any And a lot
of awesome stuff happened in that time. You can fill
the people in.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We were just going about our lives, existing and planning
season two, and we both found out that we were
nominated for the Out for Australia thirty under thirty list,
and we both happened to have made the list, which
is incredible. Yeah, so yeah, oh my god. And then
we were at the award ceremony. I was asking me
(03:59):
to if she'd written it, you know, an acceptance speech
in case we won or something crazy, and then yeah,
lo and behold there was a major category of war
and yeah, they said our names. And I think we're
both in so much shock, so we completely dropped the
ball on the acceptance speech. There was some incredible speeches
(04:21):
after us, which I was like, yeah, amazing, wish we
could have done that. But holy connolly, it has been
really really cool to even be put in a list
amongst many others including Mob who are on those who's
on that list and far out, Like it's something really
full circle. I feel like when it comes to even
my stages of coming out, you know, this has been
(04:44):
really really cool, and I'll get into this probably in
another episode, but this award really was a catalyst for
me to come out to my extended family. So I've
just come out to my nan, my granddad, my aunties
and uncles, and it's it's all gone really, really, really well,
to the point where I'm like, damn it, I should
(05:04):
have said something earlier, But it's all about healing and
it's thank you. I mean, it's been a huge thing
for me for a long time, a huge worry. So
I feel like after years of pretending to be someone
else or even just hiding that aspect of myself, I
can finally go home for Christmas and be court for
(05:24):
the first time. So I'm I'm really excited about that.
And a lot of that was to do with the
award as well. I think it's that kind of yeah,
full circle for me. But I started this, I started
this podcast with you as part of my own healing
from the way that coming out happened for me, which
wasn't great. And yeah, now it's led to some incredible things.
(05:46):
The people we've been able to connect with on this
on this platform, but also through those through that award.
Ceremony as well has been awesome and I can't wait
to see all of the incredible work that everyone's doing.
But I'm gonna stop rambling. I'm just getting caught up
in my emotions again. I'm an emotional gal.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I think that's that is really powerful, court And yeah,
you're right. It feels like this beautiful, like deep breath in.
And it was so unexpected for the both of us.
So the award that we actually won were was change
Makers of the Year, which is like so insane to
have that title for twenty twenty and I didn't believe
(06:26):
it until they were just like, oh, two people are
winning this award this year. I was like, oh my god,
that's so great, how fun? And then it was us,
and like that is just so validating to know that
there are people out there who really do value the
voice that we are putting out there and value what
(06:47):
we are passionate about, which is creating representation for people
just like us. And whether that's because people like Courtney
had a really difficult time in that journey or people
like me who were crazy loud about it and providing
that voice. So I think it was a really validating
moment of like people actually care about what we have
to say and value it and think that what we're
putting out is of importance. So that's something I think
(07:11):
to remind ourselves and anyone else who sort of like
has a side hustle or something that they're passionate about
and creative that they're putting into the world, that someone
out there is actually going to really value what you're doing.
So that was a really awesome moment as well.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, there's also something about like being put on a
list with all these really cool queer people and I'm
a huge dag, Like I feel like I've never been cool,
like like we're talking about intersectionality before, like you know,
not feeling black enough to be black, or white enough
to be white, or like I sometimes don't feel cool
enough to be gay, Like I feel like I don't
(07:47):
have enough cool tattoos and cool hair and cool style.
Like I'm just fumbling my way through life being absolute dork.
I feel like I'm the epitome of like a dog dad,
Like I just no clue what I'm doing. I'm just
sumbling around being an absolute goof but lack. It's kind
of cool that, like I can ah, I mean I
(08:07):
hope I can hang like with the crowd, but like
just being put on a list with cool people like
that something really specialist. Yeah, no, you're cool, but I'm not.
So like I feel like it's I can sort of
just yeah, lean around you guys, and yeah, like learn
a bit from that from that end. But yeah, this
has been really really awesome, and I really thank everyone
(08:28):
that's come along the way and everyone that's interacting with
us as well. It's been awesome to be a part
of your lives, even if it's for ten seconds or
or you just you know, scroll past and see something
cool and like it. That's that's great. But yeah, so
I mean, speaking of I think also, you know, we're
talking about the new topic dating. I mean I think
(08:49):
I've also kind of grown into who I am and
who I want to be as a partner, and part
of this journey has led me to somehow find it
an incredible relationship, which has been Fanna sick. You know,
I talk about not being cool enough to be gay.
I think my girlfriend is probably like equally as daggy
as V. So it's quite a it's just yeah, it's
(09:09):
very cute, but like there's something about being in communities
like this and learning how to stand up and kind
of have more of a backbone when it comes to
just being yourself. I think, for example, like she's only
kind of more recently out and she's always really struggled
with that, and she said something to me recently that
I didn't really believe because I was like, well, like, dude,
(09:32):
you're doing it all by yourself. But she said something
like that. I make her feel like really empowered just
to be out, and it sort of makes me think
about how, like more people in our own circles, we
have that power. And it's not like I make being
gay my personality trait, but I feel like I'm more
explicitly out as much as possible, and I think that
(09:53):
I'm just trying to keep creating those spaces, and I
think we should never underestimate the power to do that
because that can really change other people's like feelings of
safety in all the environments and almost kind of the
the way that they see themselves as well, because they're
part of this community. So anyway, chucked about it, but
(10:14):
let's let's actually dive into the topic before everyone falls asleep.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Doing that to yourself, what you have to say, is
very interesting.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Today's topic, as we've mentioned relationships, but kind of more
specifically actually like online dating and like interesting things that
have happened there. So I wrote down a few questions
that I thought might be interesting topics of conversation. And
the first one is what I was thinking, what is
(10:44):
the most annoying bio that you've ever read? Or like
kind of like the eh, that's just a stupid bio?
Why would you do that? Does one to come to mind?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It's yeah, absolutely straight away. It's always those ones. It's
like living life to the fullest, but like live laugh life.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
The stupid ones who always like wine and brunch and
I'm like, no, no wine and brunch, Like yeah, people
like wine, people like brunch. Don't make that your personality.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah no, I struggle with it, or even like, you know,
here for a good time, no a long time kind
of thing and on my cool. I don't know people.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Who don't have a bio because I'm just like, you're
just here because we think, well, they're really shy.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I guess, oh, don't be a hater. That's what I
did because I have no idea what to say. Sometimes
I just put like a. I used to just put
like a little emoji like the two girls, like just
be like okay or nothing, or sometimes I'll put like
like I'm really bad at it. To be honest, I've
always been bad at online dating. But I think it
would be something like, oh god, I can't even think
(11:48):
about it. Actually, I'm on my housemates online dating app
profile at the moment. She's kind of given me rain
to look through, and she makes a really good caramel slice,
so I've put them on the bio, so like makes
an incredibly good caramel slice or something like that, and
then it's been a hit perfect.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You're funny, people like making this is why you should
have a bio? How dare you not have one? We
should have gone back and like I looked at what
the last ones were. I think mine was something like, oh,
like a ray of sunshine with like sunflower emoji or
something something like triple cancer. I'm a sweet baby angel
(12:33):
and people loved it.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Geez, I am a.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Ray of sunshine and someone made me a playlist. Someone
made me a playlist said for my ray of Sunshine
on Spotify.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah that's beautiful, okay, But.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
On the other flip side of that, what's the best
bio that you've seen, or one that was like damn,
that's good, Like I.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Think before it was like cool, like I remember a
long time ago. I think when I first jumped on days,
there was one that was like I just want milk
that tastes like real milk, like you know from my ad.
That's good And I was like, hell, yeah, that's funny
as yeah, but you has way too overdone. Yeah, like
it's yeah, it's like way too overdone now And I'm
just like laying like if I saw that out, like
(13:15):
get original. But actually, you know, you know what I
did have and I actually back at myself, I had
big dumb bitch energy like that was that was I
thought that was great? Yeah, people that it was sunny.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Actually, you know what I did once This girl that
I had, like I was sleeping with for a little
while and she was like moving back to the States
or something, and she made a joke that we should
write each other reviews and we could so we could
put them in out on bios to future dating. And
so I wrote her a little bio look or whatever,
and she sent me a screenshot that she had updated
(13:52):
her tender to have my bio in it, like I'll
review from previous like da da da, And that was
like hilarious, that's so funny. And then I try to
write me review and she wrote me like seven so
I could pick from all of them and they were
all like actually adorable and really cute or crazy sexual
and I could never put that out in public.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I love that. That's so cool. What's like if
you have a tip for anyone kind of what would
be the number one tip you'd give someone who uses
dating apps?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Look on a non serious note. I hate it when
people are wearing sunglasses and every single photo I don't
trust it you're hiding your face yep yep.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Or group photos, which is really hard because like I
don't take individual photos, so I feel like it's weird.
But yeah, because sometimes you're like, which one are you?
Like I can't actually table which one you have, just
to like go through and work out which one they
are in the groups? Yeah, don't we the same people?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And don't just have hips photos? And don't when they
just have photos of them not ever looking at the camera,
like it's them looking off in the distance at a cliff,
or them like you can see their jaw or something
at least have one where you're actually looking at the camera.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, definitely, or avoid filters like the snapchat dog face
like Fielters like, I'm always always the left for me.
But I think not that you ask back, but like,
I feel like I had a really great sort of
way that I went I feel like I had a
really great way that I went about it because I
just had all these photos of me with is like
different dogs, Like like literally every photo was like me
(15:30):
and another dog. I reckon there was like, out of
the five photos that you can have or something, I
think four of them I was with the dog and
they were all different dogs. So people are always ask oh,
like which one's yours? Or oh are they all your dogs?
But I'm not one of them, and I would be like,
oh my god, like yeah it's this one. But I
(15:51):
think like if you put something you're kind of passionate about,
something you really love, like liking dogs is not my personality.
I feel like that's also really annoying when people are
like dogs dogs, Like I love dogs obviously, but yeah,
if you put something you're passionate about it sort of
in your photos and someone sees it like if they're
additionally passionate about it, like like that's kind of a
(16:12):
great sort of way to start that initial connection. Yeah,
but like I guess you just really never know. That's
the thing. Like you can like meet someone that you
feel like your your lives have just been like parallel
and parssy, like ships in the night, and then all
of a sudden you're just supposed to meet, if that
makes any sense. Like I have an incredible story about
(16:32):
my girlfriend and I like.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
How please tell please, Like.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
We're weirdly connected, but like not in a like a
related way, because she's she's like she's Caucasian, so we're
safe on that department. But okay, So it's actually quite
a long story. I'm ready, so you know, buckle in.
So it all starts in eighteen sixty eight, over one
hundred few years ago, and this is a really weird story,
(16:59):
but I'll try to keep it really like brief. So
there was a like the first international sporting team to
ever play a sport for Australia was an all but
one Aboriginal cricket team from like South Victoria, like ages
away anyway, And I also remind you that I'm from Queensland.
So that team went over to Europe, they played like
(17:20):
two months of cricket. Anyway, they snuck away, they said
they were going to go fishing and then they just
like necked off for like three months, so it ended
up being like a couple of years. Anyway, incredible backbone
of Australian sporting history that we don't tell a lot.
And I work in cricket, yeah, I work. I work
in this sport. So part of part of my role
is telling stories about that team, because you know, we
should really celebrate the fact that, you know, our first
(17:44):
backbone of Australia's identity is sport, and our first sporting
team was Aboriginal anyway, that being the most colonial traditionally
known as the most colonial sport as well. Anyway, So
there's this really small little town in Victoria called Harrow
and that's where they have this like little museum about
one of the best players that played in the team,
SAME's Johnny Mauller. And I work a lot in thats
(18:07):
like too with that center to do different stuff around
telling stories about the team, and heaps has happened recently
about it. But anyway, I met my girlfriend on a
dating app and I had no sort of background on
like cricket or any of that sort of stuff. I
try to keep that really separate because I also play
it and it's taking over my life. But it's amazing
and I love it. And when we met, we were
(18:28):
talking about what we do, and she asked me to
kind of like bit more specifically what my role is.
And I started talking about, you know, indigenous engagement and
all that sort of stuff. And then I was like, oh,
but like, one of the really cool things I'm doing
at the moment is talking about this story from eighteen
sixty eight. And I started telling her about this team
and she's like, oh, like Johnny Muller. And I was like,
how do you know that name, ma'am? And it says
(18:49):
that she also plays cricket too, Like gross, no, don't
make it sound like that. But yeah, anyway, so she
was like, oh, like Johnny maul. I was like, God,
how on earth could you possibly know that name? She's like,
will my grandparents live in a little town that has
(19:11):
that museum that now the population of that town is
ninety nine people, Oh my gosh. And I was like what.
So she's like, yeah, it's been like a lot of
my childhood there blah blah blah. And I was like,
oh my god, that's incredible anyways, right, so like and
another way of this story, which is remarkable is that
(19:33):
I went and told like this lady that runs the center. Now,
I was like, oh my god, I met this girl,
like she her grandparents like live here, blah blah. And
then I started talking about like her grandfather and she
was trying to work out what name it was. Anyway,
the lady who runs this museum was like, that's the
founder of the museum. Oh, he founded that museum. He
(19:55):
founded that museum, he was president, he like kept it alive,
like he put his own money into it, like blah la,
And I was like what. So, like this whole thing
is like this story is really incredible when it comes
to like in the indigenous community it's known quite well,
but in the non indigenous community and mainstream cricket, it's
really not told. Like I didn't learn about it until
(20:17):
I started working here a couple of years ago. And
being someone who's Aboriginal who plays cricket, I should have
known that my whole life, but I just never have.
So cricket, like the National body only really knew about
it because of that museum, And if we didn't know
about that, we wouldn't have known the story. And then
if we didn't know the story, I wouldn't really have
like as much involvement work wise, Like it's kind of
(20:38):
shaped my job. So tell me how like two absolute strangers.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Like you know what that is? Do you know what
that is called?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Fate? That's true, luck, I'll say it if you want.
We all know I'm a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Uh it's yeah, well you wouldn't read about it, but yeah,
it's it's incredible. It's I can't believe it, Like it's
such a isn't it strange?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Absolutely, isn't it? Just she just gives me goosebuts when
thinking about it, and like we talk about now like
hah yeah, like random, but when you hear it for
the first time, like it's absolutely shocking, Like I genuinely
wouldn't have Like I wouldn't be in Melbourne, We wouldn't
have met if it wasn't very granddad, like you know,
twenty odd years ago, if not more, creating that museum
like fate for you women. If that's not that's not
(21:30):
a plug for online dating. I don't know what is.
But isn't that fucking crazy?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
That's insane and like so much better than my story.
So my story. I also met my girlfriend on a
dating app and this little tenacious human. I did not
like her at the start, not that I didn't like her,
but like I just wasn't like super interested, Like she
was just kind of there, and she was so tenacious.
She was like, I know that if we meet in person,
(21:56):
she's gonna like me so much more. Like I just
need to keep pushing with this and now look at
me hopelessly in love. It's insane. Do make fun of me?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm just I'm just disgustingly as bad.
You should see me. I'm awful, like absolute teeseball right,
so grossly the most gross.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
All right, Okay, So onto today's sponsor. I'm extremely excited
to work with, not only obviously we're talking about online
dating here. We've both used lots of different online dating
apps before. In particular, I absolutely adore Bumble and it
is the sponsor of to day's episode. It's our very
first sponsor, which is incredible and how fitting that it
(22:40):
is an app that I am so very passionate about. Actually,
the first time I ever used Bumble was for Bumble bff.
It was not the dating. It was because I didn't
have a lot of friends at university and I thought
I would like to make some more queer friends, and
I use Bumble to do that. So Bumble bit bff
is like making friends Bumble business, which is all about
(23:01):
like networking, and then they also have obviously Bumble Date.
So I was super excited at the prospect of being
able to partner with Bumble on this episode and sort
of share a platform that I really enjoy and of
course Courtney has used and has enjoyed before as well.
So Bumble is a dating app that is dedicated to
creating an inclusive environment for its community of over ninety
(23:24):
five million users.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Bumble has partnered with experts at organizations including GLAD and
other representatives from the LGBTQIA plus community and advocacy organizations
to provide a space where people from across the gender
platform can feel safe and seen.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
With guidance from the community, Bumble has created an extensive
list of gender options for both new and existing users
to choose.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
From when setting up their profile. Users can select a
binary choice or tap more options to expand the list,
and your choice can be updated at any time.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Users can also choose if they like to show their
gender identity to potential matches, which appears alongside their profile
badges on Bubble.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
How you identify it is up to you.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Download Bumble today and make it the first move?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Great, great question, though, how do you get someone to
make the first move? Because I also never make the
first move. I have a huge fear of rejection. However,
I've overcome that by putting myself in the best position
possible for them to make the first move, or I
instigate it by saying something like you're really pretty, but
I'm like scared to kiss you, or something like that. That's
(24:33):
what I reason. That's why I said to my girlfriend
at the moment. But I was like, I'm just scared,
and she was like, you're an idiot, but you're not.
Just say you're an idiot, but I could tell it.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I actually think on apps, I kind of just like, huh,
I'm pretty and like kind of funny, please talk to me.
But I think in real life I'm like fairly confident,
like I'm pretty sure actually I'm one hundred percent sure
that I kissed my girlfriend first because she was freaking
out and she was scared and I just did it
because I'm a boss bitch.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, I love that for you. I'm way too nervous.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I think it definitely comes back to like fake it
till you make it, Like if you are nervous, just
like push through and have that confidence. Like even if
that is I've definitely obviously messaged people first, just not
a lot, and like, I don't know, I think I
used to usually go for like something funny or i'd
like pick out something in their profile to talk about.
Because that's why I hate people who don't have anything
(25:28):
in their bio, because like what am I going to message? Like, Hey,
I think you're hot. No, that's not interesting and that's
not gonna go anywhere. But if I'm just like, oh that,
like I could New Zealand. That looks so incredible, Like
I'd love to go there, that's a good conversation start.
So maybe my recommendation for making the first move is
pick out something from their bio and like start conversation
on that.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Hmmm, that's a good one. I mean, like I think
the stock standard ones always how's your week treating you
to this weekend?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I've never replied to the weekend.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
We can expand we can expand, we can we can,
you know, get a little bit crafty with it. But
I think sometimes, I know, I will say this for
myself sometimes when I want to be quirky and funny,
like when I actually want to be is when I'm
not so like, it's really hard to like you just
sort of have to be a little bit natural with it,
which is difficult, right, Like, it's really intimidating messaging someone
(26:20):
for the first time because if you have nothing to
like together, you like, what do you start the conversation with? Like, yeah, hey,
I just I just drank some Milo. Do you do
you like cold beverages? What do you do?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Why do you like?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
This is why? This is why I'm glad I'm not single.
At the moment, I would absolutely crumble, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
God, I was just thinking something and I totally forgot
because that you.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Like cold beverages line, I'm sorry, which you also like
to dismantle the patriarchy, Like I feel like that one's
always a good one.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I have so much in common there.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
The rich perfect. There's some really funny tiktoks out there
now about like, oh, I've remember what I was going
to say one that there was there was some really
funny tiktoks out there about like eating the rich, like
did it? It's really funny. But what I was going
to say was actually in my bio, I always have
like obviously that I'm passionate about queer in indigenous representation,
(27:28):
or I might like put the little Aboriginal like the
three hearts in there, that kind of thing, and like
what's your experience about like kind of I don't know
if you want to call it, like coming out on
dating apps, like obviously they are they know you're like
interested in women because you're on like you're you've matched
with a female. But as of course, as we've said before,
(27:49):
indigenous people who are more pale than sort of the stereotype.
I've often like I've had a lot of questions about like, oh,
you know which family members indigenous, or like oh, like
what percentage are you those kinds of things like have
you had those experience on dating apps and have you
handled those in different ways than you have them with
the real world.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, that's an interesting one. I think on dating apps
you sort of get a little bit of time to
construct your words around what you're saying and how you
sort of like come out black. But I think sometimes
I don't necessarily do it. I used to have the
It wasn't the emojis with the Aboriginal flag, but it
(28:29):
was kind of that block one you can make clack
with the with your keyboard, and I explained it better.
But it's like not brackets, it's like the square brackets
in a hyphen.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I know exactly and exactly about.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I struggled, but I remember doing that and actually, like Sunshine,
my girlfriend, remember she asked me like weeks into when
we were dating. She's like, I didn't know what that meant?
What does that actually mean? And I was like, oh
my god, bless bless you. But because when I talk
about when people ask me what I do, it's it's
directly involved in like Aboriginal toastra islander stuff, and that
(29:09):
usually instigates a conversation about being indigenous. But I'm finding like,
and I will preface unfortunately I was straight once and
I was on dating apps once. I feel like those
conversations we have always been better with women, like women
have just been like yeah, cool, Like I've never really
had like oh, like what percentage or where does that
(29:30):
come from or anything like that, like maybe in real life,
but not really like maybe I've just picked some really
good people or whatever. But I found like men would
be like they probably don't even talk about it or
they sort of just dismiss it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So yeah, well you know what I think. Actually, I
think because you're on in an online space and you're
obviously like swiping or picking people that for whatever reason
you feel like you're going to connect with, we both
have indigenous things in our or had obviously, like whoever swiping,
they're probably going to have some form of like prior
(30:06):
knowledge of culture. So it's almost like weeding out people
if it's in your bio, like you're going to pick
someone who hopefully is a little bit more aware. Yeah,
so that's pretty good as well, like a much easier
way than like having to go on lots of dates
face to face and then have them say something that
was kind of racist or then realize they like kind
of it's going to be an uphill battle of like
educating them and stuff. So like that's also a big
(30:26):
plus phone lane dating.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, Like I have this horror story of a friend
who was dating this girl for ages and then she
found out they were like a one nation supporter and
it was nuts, like, yeah, that's so like she was
always like what's your deal? Like sometimes like she'd be
a little bit like stringent on things or a little
bit hard to talk about with things like that, and yeah,
(30:49):
then she found out that yeah, super one nation supporter
sort of stuff, which is totally like like, yeah, each
their own politics, but it's okay to even that she
was also in she was also indigenous. She was like yeah,
but not like yeah, they didn't last long mentioned not.
But it goes to sort of also pose a question
(31:11):
like how political do you get? And obviously our existence
is political in some way, shape or form, not because
we make it, but because that's the way society is structured,
and systematic racism affects us all daily and everything we do.
So you know, do you are you're outward about it
from the get go or is it conversations you have later,
because that's a really interesting one. Do you bring it?
(31:31):
Is it a first date topic, my abraionality or politics? Both?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, I mean, yeah, I'm like the same, same, right,
you can't exist without being politicized.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
It always goes down as huge.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, well again, like I it's in my bio that
I'm indigenous, It's in my bio that like I'm really
these are core parts of my identity. Yeah, I think
it is the first date thing because like, I don't
want to waste any of my time on someone who
is against my community or is against one of my
core values, like if why on earth would I want
(32:07):
to like, oh, I want to wait and see if
they're racist on the third day. No, I want to
know that, like straight up.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
But yeah, I'm also not sort of like sitting there
interviewing someone being like what are your thoughts on Australia,
your day, your survival day? Like when was the last
time you wore an item of clothing that had the
Southern Cross on it? Like what about you?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Do you have a Southern Cross tattoo? Because it's an
immediate out here almost you're like an Olympian or something.
That's cool. But yeah, that is interesting, speaking of on
my dating and politics, I remember meeting this very incredibly political,
politically minded young woman one time when I was on
a dating app. I would say maybe four years ago
(32:56):
might be a bit of a stretch. And now fast
forward into my day to day life now that I'm
living here down south in Melbourne and yourself Matica are
living in Sydney. Somehow our world's collided. Not too long
you also went on a date with this you know,
remarkable human being. I think she's really lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Okay, I would like to clarify though, I did not
date this human but except with them, yes, And did
you go on a date with them, like you went
on an actual date?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, we went on like a like a first date,
you know, like like ate some vegan breakfast and kicked
a footy nice and like nothing happened since, but sort
of stayed in contact.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, we kind of like if you want to call, like, oh,
you stayed at my house, let's go have breakfast a
date then, Like sure, but maybe that's but a debate
that we can have another time, whether or not that
counter as the day.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
But we can also call it the fact that you
know that that was like a four like you know
that happened to me a long time ago. You know,
I think I've talked to this person maybe like maybe
once a year on random like social media things, and
then somehow, some way, they like they moved states. They
just happened to be friends of friends of yours and
(34:09):
then our paths just Collie.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I remember that was so funny because I think it
was like we were in a photo and they're like
a group photo and you were like, oh my god,
you know this person and I was like yeah, why,
like they're in this AFL team and like I'm friends
with the people on the NFL team, and you were
like that's so cool, like oh she's so nice. And
I was like, yeah, like she's totally cool. And I
don't know if it was then that you told me
(34:36):
oh yeah, and then you were like oh yeah, like
we went on a date or like we made out
or something like that, and I was like cool, yeah also,
and then circumstances would have them that I did indeed,
and I'm sleeping with the person and so but I
was a good friend. I messaged you the day after
and I was like, hey, call it, like what's up,
(34:56):
Like do you remember how good a friends we are?
Just let's happen of mind fast, and.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
I mean like I think you I think you being
us being such great friends. You would also know that
that would be something I did not care for. I'm like,
I like this person, I probably like didn't even hold hands,
Like where did we even get to the point, Like yeah,
where that was even gonna happ whenever's anything about friendship,
So yeah, I wouldn't care at all, but doing the
classic hole, like you know, if it's not like a
relationship or dating, then it's like, let's be friends. So
(35:24):
I have so many friends like that actually that I've
had like a couple of dates with, or I've slept
with and now we're friends kind of thing. Some of
my best friends I've slept with like once, like like
when we met, but now we're good friends. But no,
that's actually.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Same though I absolutely adore my friends and I've slept
with half of them.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
But can we reflect on But can we reflect on
just like how small the lesbian circle can be and
the way that it actually overlaps, Like I know, you
hear horror stories about like the way that all into
collides and things like that, and you never really get it,
And I think I finally get it, Like, yes, it's
just so strange.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
That we live so far away and you met that
person when you lived in another location. That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
We're so Differenttika, Like the thing is like we're both
running completely separate circles.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Well, you're you're you're, you play sport and I hang
out with girls who play sport, So like I can
see that very easily.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Anyway something, But that's weird again, given we're like sort
of niching in on like obviously online dating. I every
single time I'm talking to someone online, I would always
be like, I hate dating apps. Can we we like, like,
add me on Instagram? We'll talk there instead. And that's
a lie, Atika. That is my elaborate plan to get
this person to add me on Instagram so I can
(36:44):
see who else from my friends list they're friends with,
and I can try and piece together if we've stuck
with the same person or not, because it's important.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
It's it is I almost kind of look to do
they'll like, oh this this app keeps crashing? Can you
add me on Instagram? Or like if I think they're
really cool. I also hate that talking stage sometimes as well,
like the whole like what do you do? Yeah, what
are you up to this weekend? And stuff? Like sometimes
(37:13):
I'm just like fly, like you seem really cool. Do
you want to grab a coffee? Like know what that is?
Making the first move? Yeah, well I've only really did
it once. It was with my girlfriend, so that's why
you should do it. Yeah, it's actually funny because I
was kind of out my wits end. I went on
a couple of dates not too long ago. One of
them was with that digitido player. Oh yeah, I mean
(37:33):
I wouldn't call it that. I'd say that like the
cultural appropriator slash missing misinformed foreign visitor, so tourist.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
If you don't know what we're talking about. It was
that the last episode. No, I think it was like, oh,
it's the it's the relationship episode of the last one, yeah,
of last season. Yeah, but if you don't know, we're
talking about girls in that episode.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
But yeah, it was like after that date and then
I had another date not too long ago, like long
too long, like that week, and this girl like booked
a table. Because we're in like in that middle period
of the pandemic, she like booked a table, rocked up
half an hour late. I was drunk as hell by
this point, and then like I had to carry the
whole conversation. It was just messy, and I was just like, nah,
I'm done with dating apps, Like I'm done, but I
(38:18):
already had that coffee teed up with Sunshine like and
I was like, okay, well, like I'll just go to
this one and then I'm done.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Had a date with Fate, that's what you had.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Gosh, she's gonna love this episode. Yeah cut, But yeah, anyway,
so dating apps or have been leading to some really
cool experiences. And I have a couple of friends that
I've made from meeting them on dating apps and stuff.
So I'm pretty thankful for that opportunity. And you know,
we're in a we're in a society now where we
(38:49):
have this pandemic which makes it even harder to meet people.
So I think it's absolutely a great opportunity to feel
a little bit less isolated and make that human connection,
even if it is online to start with, because you know,
we're all human beings and I think can all feel
a little bit less lonely if we have the opportunity to.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
So yeah, I totally agree. Well, I think that's probably
a really good note to finish episode one of season
two on. But before we do do that. Of course,
if you're familiar with last season, you'll know that pretty
much every episode we do a quiter Black Excellence, which
is where we highlight someone who is queer or indigenous
(39:27):
and doing something cool or is sort of worth a
shout out. And this season we're going to go sort
of one for one, So Courtney will have one one week,
I'll have one the other week. That kind of thing. So, Courtney,
who is your Black Excellence.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
For this week? Amongst so many other queer black excellent
people out there? I think we should also add just
existing in this intersectional space is excellence. I don't think
you'd have to do anything dramatically, insanely incredibly amazing to
be talked about. I think, honestly, I'd love people to
start nominating people. I think my view of what's excellence
(40:02):
is probably really different. So honestly, for all of us
that are just existing in space and having to create
our own space, and create our own role models and
make a save space for ourselves and institutions and things
that aren't set up for us to to you know, thrive,
and to make it better fit for our for our
next generation, you're all bloody excellent and I'm so proud
(40:23):
to even just be associated with the same big sectionality
identities as some of you. But we will call out
like a specific individual this week also a out for
Australia thirty Under thirty winner or made the list but
then also made the got a major award for Student
of the Year. Now I'm going to read through their
(40:45):
instagram by home because there is so much that this
individual has done. So Hayden Moon is one hundred our
Queer Black Excellence winner for the week. Person were acknowledging,
Yeah pronounce a he they war adri brother boy, trans Masque,
(41:05):
amazing Queer Irish dancer, Low Vision PhD candidate does a
lot of work with Acon, does a lot of cool,
incredible work around intersectionality, super into the Irish dancing community,
which which I'm here for because like what that is wicked,
But yeah, incredibly honored for us to even be recognized
(41:26):
in the same sentence or breath is someone like Hayden
and I think we can keep celebrating what he does
every day. I think we're onto it. But yeah, so
check him out. I think his page is very informative
and educational and it's just really cool to watch mob
do incredible things that they're doing. Honestly, I'm just an
(41:47):
awe of what he does, and I think you know,
I'm probably operating out a one percent of what he does.
So good on your Hayden.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah, absolutely so. As always, we will tag Hayden on
our Instagram, So head on over there at Coming Out
Black BLAK and you can see who we've highlighted each week. Also,
we'll be sharing things for community and just sort of
random things as we do on our Instagram. And I
think Courtney, what you said before as well about the
idea of people nominating people for our Queer Black Excellence, Like,
(42:19):
I would love for people either to sort of dm
us on Instagram or even email us at Coming Out
Black at gmail dot com and sort of highlight someone
who you think is worth us giving a shout out,
to maybe write a little like little bio for them,
or talk about why you're nominating them to be our
quick Black Excellence, and we can absolutely highlight them on
the podcast as well, because you're right, like when we
(42:42):
say queer Black excellence, we don't mean someone who's out
there like impacting five thousand people a day. We're talking
about sung heroes and people who are in their own unique,
incredible way excellent, just like all of us who are
MOB and who are part of this community. So we
would love to have some more nominations as well.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
And also if you get the time and you have
the means, please please keep dominating to Ryan's fundraiser. We're
about two and a half koa. He's hoping to get
his top surgery midway through next year. I would love
to push really really hard on this and get that
by Christmas as a Christmas present from us to him.
It's just been announced as well that he starts his
(43:22):
tea at the start of the year, so that's really huge.
So if you get the opportunity and you want to
you want to send any advice or congratulations or well
wishes to Ryan, please pass someone to us and we
will pass them on to him. I think I'm going
to plan to do a follow up interview with him
as well as he's going through his transitioning and check in.
(43:43):
But also I know that a lot of people are
following his story, so I'd love to provide an opportunity
to keep telling those But yeah, so please anything that
you've got, whether it's four dolls, for a coffee or whatever.
You know, We've got about one two hundred followers now
on our Instagram, so I sort of think if you
will have about two dollars each, we're there. So keep
pushing it, keep promoting it in your own circles as well,
(44:05):
and yeah, thanks for thanks for being with us, and
welcome to season two. H
Coming Out Black is recorded on unseated Aboriginal land. We
wish to acknowledge and pay our respects to our elders
past present, and extend that respect to mob listening today.
My name's Matigue a Little and my name is Courtney Hagen.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
And we're two Queer Indigenous women passionate about representation for
our community.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
We've created this podcast to share our stories and we
want you to join us on the journey. You're listening
to Coming Out Black.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Oh my gosh, I have shippers.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
We have our own music.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's so nice. I love again. You can't see this,
but Courtney was just dancing to that whole thing. It
was really great. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I feel like a flash Murray with our like little upgrades,
like you just got a new mic. We're not recording
off our We're not recording off our phones anymore. Oh,
we're new. Is like, this is great, You'll love to
see it.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, that's so that sound new intro and I absolutely
adore it. And I want to say a massive thank
you to Neil Johnson, who is my cousin and is
also a really fantastic member of the queer community and
the Indigenous community. And therefore a really valued member of
the coming up black community. And actually, i'll make the
(01:25):
long story short. I met Neil and then realized he
was my cousin because the person that I started dating
who is now my girlfriend and is his roommate or
housemaid I should say, lived with him. And she was like, oh,
this guy, he said, he's Rogery too, in like his
family's from Walgor and Griffith and do you know him?
And I was like, oh, I'm going to be related
to this person. And he does music and he does
(01:46):
like heaps really cool stuff. He's got a band, he's
got some solo stuff as well. So we'll make sure
that we tag him on Instagram so everyone can check
out the awesome stuff that he does. And thank you
so much Neil for putting the work into a bit
of an intro theme for us.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
How good. And I'm not gonna let you skate past
the fact that you also just said that you are
now dating someone. And I don't want to make a
big deal of it, but I pro prior to pressing record,
you did answer the phone saying hey baby, and I
feel like I need to call you out. So, just
like every episode, instead of you grilling me, I'm gonna
(02:21):
grill you. So what's the go.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, so I have a lovely girlfriend now, which is
so nice. Her name is Teagan. Oh sorry I just
said her name, but I mean she's not going to care.
I could give her a nickname, but I'm not going to.
And yeah, we've been like seeing each other I don't know,
three months or something now and then now official. So
like that's super cute and lovely for me.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Oh you love to see a little holiday romance right
in time for Christmas?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Right now we both have girlfriends. How cute.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It's insane. Like we started this like incredibly single, Like
we're both and I was very like anti dating, anti people,
and I.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Was very into dating into people.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
We've come full circle. I love it we have.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Actually that leads really well into today's topic. I know
that we've done an episode before on relationships, and we've
done an episode on sex as well, and everyone really
really enjoyed that. We got heaps of great feedback, so
we thought we'd start season two off on a familiar note,
but also you know, leveling it up. So we're going
to dive into that conversation a little later. But first
(03:31):
and foremost, we took a little break to get ready
for season two, didn't we port any And a lot
of awesome stuff happened in that time. You can fill
the people in.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We were just going about our lives, existing and planning
season two, and we both found out that we were
nominated for the Out for Australia thirty under thirty list,
and we both happened to have made the list, which
is incredible. Yeah, so yeah, oh my god. And then
we were at the award ceremony. I was asking me
(03:59):
to if she'd written it, you know, an acceptance speech
in case we won or something crazy, and then yeah,
lo and behold there was a major category of war
and yeah, they said our names. And I think we're
both in so much shock, so we completely dropped the
ball on the acceptance speech. There was some incredible speeches
(04:21):
after us, which I was like, yeah, amazing, wish we
could have done that. But holy connolly, it has been
really really cool to even be put in a list
amongst many others including Mob who are on those who's
on that list and far out, Like it's something really
full circle. I feel like when it comes to even
my stages of coming out, you know, this has been
(04:44):
really really cool, and I'll get into this probably in
another episode, but this award really was a catalyst for
me to come out to my extended family. So I've
just come out to my nan, my granddad, my aunties
and uncles, and it's it's all gone really, really, really well,
to the point where I'm like, damn it, I should
(05:04):
have said something earlier, But it's all about healing and
it's thank you. I mean, it's been a huge thing
for me for a long time, a huge worry. So
I feel like after years of pretending to be someone
else or even just hiding that aspect of myself, I
can finally go home for Christmas and be court for
(05:24):
the first time. So I'm I'm really excited about that.
And a lot of that was to do with the
award as well. I think it's that kind of yeah,
full circle for me. But I started this, I started
this podcast with you as part of my own healing
from the way that coming out happened for me, which
wasn't great. And yeah, now it's led to some incredible things.
(05:46):
The people we've been able to connect with on this
on this platform, but also through those through that award.
Ceremony as well has been awesome and I can't wait
to see all of the incredible work that everyone's doing.
But I'm gonna stop rambling. I'm just getting caught up
in my emotions again. I'm an emotional gal.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I think that's that is really powerful, court And yeah,
you're right. It feels like this beautiful, like deep breath in.
And it was so unexpected for the both of us.
So the award that we actually won were was change
Makers of the Year, which is like so insane to
have that title for twenty twenty and I didn't believe
(06:26):
it until they were just like, oh, two people are
winning this award this year. I was like, oh my god,
that's so great, how fun? And then it was us,
and like that is just so validating to know that
there are people out there who really do value the
voice that we are putting out there and value what
(06:47):
we are passionate about, which is creating representation for people
just like us. And whether that's because people like Courtney
had a really difficult time in that journey or people
like me who were crazy loud about it and providing
that voice. So I think it was a really validating
moment of like people actually care about what we have
to say and value it and think that what we're
putting out is of importance. So that's something I think
(07:11):
to remind ourselves and anyone else who sort of like
has a side hustle or something that they're passionate about
and creative that they're putting into the world, that someone
out there is actually going to really value what you're doing.
So that was a really awesome moment as well.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, there's also something about like being put on a
list with all these really cool queer people and I'm
a huge dag, Like I feel like I've never been cool,
like like we're talking about intersectionality before, like you know,
not feeling black enough to be black, or white enough
to be white, or like I sometimes don't feel cool
enough to be gay, Like I feel like I don't
(07:47):
have enough cool tattoos and cool hair and cool style.
Like I'm just fumbling my way through life being absolute dork.
I feel like I'm the epitome of like a dog dad,
Like I just no clue what I'm doing. I'm just
sumbling around being an absolute goof but lack. It's kind
of cool that, like I can ah, I mean I
(08:07):
hope I can hang like with the crowd, but like
just being put on a list with cool people like
that something really specialist. Yeah, no, you're cool, but I'm not.
So like I feel like it's I can sort of
just yeah, lean around you guys, and yeah, like learn
a bit from that from that end. But yeah, this
has been really really awesome, and I really thank everyone
(08:28):
that's come along the way and everyone that's interacting with
us as well. It's been awesome to be a part
of your lives, even if it's for ten seconds or
or you just you know, scroll past and see something
cool and like it. That's that's great. But yeah, so
I mean, speaking of I think also, you know, we're
talking about the new topic dating. I mean I think
(08:49):
I've also kind of grown into who I am and
who I want to be as a partner, and part
of this journey has led me to somehow find it
an incredible relationship, which has been Fanna sick. You know,
I talk about not being cool enough to be gay.
I think my girlfriend is probably like equally as daggy
as V. So it's quite a it's just yeah, it's
(09:09):
very cute, but like there's something about being in communities
like this and learning how to stand up and kind
of have more of a backbone when it comes to
just being yourself. I think, for example, like she's only
kind of more recently out and she's always really struggled
with that, and she said something to me recently that
I didn't really believe because I was like, well, like, dude,
(09:32):
you're doing it all by yourself. But she said something
like that. I make her feel like really empowered just
to be out, and it sort of makes me think
about how, like more people in our own circles, we
have that power. And it's not like I make being
gay my personality trait, but I feel like I'm more
explicitly out as much as possible, and I think that
(09:53):
I'm just trying to keep creating those spaces, and I
think we should never underestimate the power to do that
because that can really change other people's like feelings of
safety in all the environments and almost kind of the
the way that they see themselves as well, because they're
part of this community. So anyway, chucked about it, but
(10:14):
let's let's actually dive into the topic before everyone falls asleep.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Doing that to yourself, what you have to say, is
very interesting.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Today's topic, as we've mentioned relationships, but kind of more
specifically actually like online dating and like interesting things that
have happened there. So I wrote down a few questions
that I thought might be interesting topics of conversation. And
the first one is what I was thinking, what is
(10:44):
the most annoying bio that you've ever read? Or like
kind of like the eh, that's just a stupid bio?
Why would you do that? Does one to come to mind?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It's yeah, absolutely straight away. It's always those ones. It's
like living life to the fullest, but like live laugh life.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
The stupid ones who always like wine and brunch and
I'm like, no, no wine and brunch, Like yeah, people
like wine, people like brunch. Don't make that your personality.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah no, I struggle with it, or even like, you know,
here for a good time, no a long time kind
of thing and on my cool. I don't know people.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Who don't have a bio because I'm just like, you're
just here because we think, well, they're really shy.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I guess, oh, don't be a hater. That's what I
did because I have no idea what to say. Sometimes
I just put like a. I used to just put
like a little emoji like the two girls, like just
be like okay or nothing, or sometimes I'll put like
like I'm really bad at it. To be honest, I've
always been bad at online dating. But I think it
would be something like, oh god, I can't even think
(11:48):
about it. Actually, I'm on my housemates online dating app
profile at the moment. She's kind of given me rain
to look through, and she makes a really good caramel slice,
so I've put them on the bio, so like makes
an incredibly good caramel slice or something like that, and
then it's been a hit perfect.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
You're funny, people like making this is why you should
have a bio? How dare you not have one? We
should have gone back and like I looked at what
the last ones were. I think mine was something like, oh,
like a ray of sunshine with like sunflower emoji or
something something like triple cancer. I'm a sweet baby angel
(12:33):
and people loved it.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Geez, I am a.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Ray of sunshine and someone made me a playlist. Someone
made me a playlist said for my ray of Sunshine
on Spotify.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah that's beautiful, okay, But.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
On the other flip side of that, what's the best
bio that you've seen, or one that was like damn,
that's good, Like I.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Think before it was like cool, like I remember a
long time ago. I think when I first jumped on days,
there was one that was like I just want milk
that tastes like real milk, like you know from my ad.
That's good And I was like, hell, yeah, that's funny
as yeah, but you has way too overdone. Yeah, like
it's yeah, it's like way too overdone now And I'm
just like laying like if I saw that out, like
(13:15):
get original. But actually, you know, you know what I
did have and I actually back at myself, I had
big dumb bitch energy like that was that was I
thought that was great? Yeah, people that it was sunny.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Actually, you know what I did once This girl that
I had, like I was sleeping with for a little
while and she was like moving back to the States
or something, and she made a joke that we should
write each other reviews and we could so we could
put them in out on bios to future dating. And
so I wrote her a little bio look or whatever,
and she sent me a screenshot that she had updated
(13:52):
her tender to have my bio in it, like I'll
review from previous like da da da, And that was
like hilarious, that's so funny. And then I try to
write me review and she wrote me like seven so
I could pick from all of them and they were
all like actually adorable and really cute or crazy sexual
and I could never put that out in public.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I love that. That's so cool. What's like if
you have a tip for anyone kind of what would
be the number one tip you'd give someone who uses
dating apps?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Look on a non serious note. I hate it when
people are wearing sunglasses and every single photo I don't
trust it you're hiding your face yep yep.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Or group photos, which is really hard because like I
don't take individual photos, so I feel like it's weird.
But yeah, because sometimes you're like, which one are you?
Like I can't actually table which one you have, just
to like go through and work out which one they
are in the groups? Yeah, don't we the same people?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And don't just have hips photos? And don't when they
just have photos of them not ever looking at the camera,
like it's them looking off in the distance at a cliff,
or them like you can see their jaw or something
at least have one where you're actually looking at the camera.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, definitely, or avoid filters like the snapchat dog face
like Fielters like, I'm always always the left for me.
But I think not that you ask back, but like,
I feel like I had a really great sort of
way that I went I feel like I had a
really great way that I went about it because I
just had all these photos of me with is like
different dogs, Like like literally every photo was like me
(15:30):
and another dog. I reckon there was like, out of
the five photos that you can have or something, I
think four of them I was with the dog and
they were all different dogs. So people are always ask oh,
like which one's yours? Or oh are they all your dogs?
But I'm not one of them, and I would be like,
oh my god, like yeah it's this one. But I
(15:51):
think like if you put something you're kind of passionate about,
something you really love, like liking dogs is not my personality.
I feel like that's also really annoying when people are
like dogs dogs, Like I love dogs obviously, but yeah,
if you put something you're passionate about it sort of
in your photos and someone sees it like if they're
additionally passionate about it, like like that's kind of a
(16:12):
great sort of way to start that initial connection. Yeah,
but like I guess you just really never know. That's
the thing. Like you can like meet someone that you
feel like your your lives have just been like parallel
and parssy, like ships in the night, and then all
of a sudden you're just supposed to meet, if that
makes any sense. Like I have an incredible story about
(16:32):
my girlfriend and I like.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
How please tell please, Like.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
We're weirdly connected, but like not in a like a
related way, because she's she's like she's Caucasian, so we're
safe on that department. But okay, So it's actually quite
a long story. I'm ready, so you know, buckle in.
So it all starts in eighteen sixty eight, over one
hundred few years ago, and this is a really weird story,
(16:59):
but I'll try to keep it really like brief. So
there was a like the first international sporting team to
ever play a sport for Australia was an all but
one Aboriginal cricket team from like South Victoria, like ages
away anyway, And I also remind you that I'm from Queensland.
So that team went over to Europe, they played like
(17:20):
two months of cricket. Anyway, they snuck away, they said
they were going to go fishing and then they just
like necked off for like three months, so it ended
up being like a couple of years. Anyway, incredible backbone
of Australian sporting history that we don't tell a lot.
And I work in cricket, yeah, I work. I work
in this sport. So part of part of my role
is telling stories about that team, because you know, we
should really celebrate the fact that, you know, our first
(17:44):
backbone of Australia's identity is sport, and our first sporting
team was Aboriginal anyway, that being the most colonial traditionally
known as the most colonial sport as well. Anyway, So
there's this really small little town in Victoria called Harrow
and that's where they have this like little museum about
one of the best players that played in the team,
SAME's Johnny Mauller. And I work a lot in thats
(18:07):
like too with that center to do different stuff around
telling stories about the team, and heaps has happened recently
about it. But anyway, I met my girlfriend on a
dating app and I had no sort of background on
like cricket or any of that sort of stuff. I
try to keep that really separate because I also play
it and it's taking over my life. But it's amazing
and I love it. And when we met, we were
(18:28):
talking about what we do, and she asked me to
kind of like bit more specifically what my role is.
And I started talking about, you know, indigenous engagement and
all that sort of stuff. And then I was like, oh,
but like, one of the really cool things I'm doing
at the moment is talking about this story from eighteen
sixty eight. And I started telling her about this team
and she's like, oh, like Johnny Muller. And I was like,
how do you know that name, ma'am? And it says
(18:49):
that she also plays cricket too, Like gross, no, don't
make it sound like that. But yeah, anyway, so she
was like, oh, like Johnny maul. I was like, God,
how on earth could you possibly know that name? She's like,
will my grandparents live in a little town that has
(19:11):
that museum that now the population of that town is
ninety nine people, Oh my gosh. And I was like what.
So she's like, yeah, it's been like a lot of
my childhood there blah blah blah. And I was like,
oh my god, that's incredible anyways, right, so like and
another way of this story, which is remarkable is that
(19:33):
I went and told like this lady that runs the center. Now,
I was like, oh my god, I met this girl,
like she her grandparents like live here, blah blah. And
then I started talking about like her grandfather and she
was trying to work out what name it was. Anyway,
the lady who runs this museum was like, that's the
founder of the museum. Oh, he founded that museum. He
(19:55):
founded that museum, he was president, he like kept it alive,
like he put his own money into it, like blah la,
And I was like what. So, like this whole thing
is like this story is really incredible when it comes
to like in the indigenous community it's known quite well,
but in the non indigenous community and mainstream cricket, it's
really not told. Like I didn't learn about it until
(20:17):
I started working here a couple of years ago. And
being someone who's Aboriginal who plays cricket, I should have
known that my whole life, but I just never have.
So cricket, like the National body only really knew about
it because of that museum, And if we didn't know
about that, we wouldn't have known the story. And then
if we didn't know the story, I wouldn't really have
like as much involvement work wise, Like it's kind of
(20:38):
shaped my job. So tell me how like two absolute strangers.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Like you know what that is? Do you know what
that is called?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Fate? That's true, luck, I'll say it if you want.
We all know I'm a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Uh it's yeah, well you wouldn't read about it, but yeah,
it's it's incredible. It's I can't believe it, Like it's
such a isn't it strange?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Absolutely, isn't it? Just she just gives me goosebuts when
thinking about it, and like we talk about now like
hah yeah, like random, but when you hear it for
the first time, like it's absolutely shocking, Like I genuinely
wouldn't have Like I wouldn't be in Melbourne, We wouldn't
have met if it wasn't very granddad, like you know,
twenty odd years ago, if not more, creating that museum
like fate for you women. If that's not that's not
(21:30):
a plug for online dating. I don't know what is.
But isn't that fucking crazy?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
That's insane and like so much better than my story.
So my story. I also met my girlfriend on a
dating app and this little tenacious human. I did not
like her at the start, not that I didn't like her,
but like I just wasn't like super interested, Like she
was just kind of there, and she was so tenacious.
She was like, I know that if we meet in person,
(21:56):
she's gonna like me so much more. Like I just
need to keep pushing with this and now look at
me hopelessly in love. It's insane. Do make fun of me?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm just I'm just disgustingly as bad.
You should see me. I'm awful, like absolute teeseball right,
so grossly the most gross.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
All right, Okay, So onto today's sponsor. I'm extremely excited
to work with, not only obviously we're talking about online
dating here. We've both used lots of different online dating
apps before. In particular, I absolutely adore Bumble and it
is the sponsor of to day's episode. It's our very
first sponsor, which is incredible and how fitting that it
(22:40):
is an app that I am so very passionate about. Actually,
the first time I ever used Bumble was for Bumble bff.
It was not the dating. It was because I didn't
have a lot of friends at university and I thought
I would like to make some more queer friends, and
I use Bumble to do that. So Bumble bit bff
is like making friends Bumble business, which is all about
(23:01):
like networking, and then they also have obviously Bumble Date.
So I was super excited at the prospect of being
able to partner with Bumble on this episode and sort
of share a platform that I really enjoy and of
course Courtney has used and has enjoyed before as well.
So Bumble is a dating app that is dedicated to
creating an inclusive environment for its community of over ninety
(23:24):
five million users.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Bumble has partnered with experts at organizations including GLAD and
other representatives from the LGBTQIA plus community and advocacy organizations
to provide a space where people from across the gender
platform can feel safe and seen.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
With guidance from the community, Bumble has created an extensive
list of gender options for both new and existing users
to choose.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
From when setting up their profile. Users can select a
binary choice or tap more options to expand the list,
and your choice can be updated at any time.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Users can also choose if they like to show their
gender identity to potential matches, which appears alongside their profile
badges on Bubble.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
How you identify it is up to you.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Download Bumble today and make it the first move?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Great, great question, though, how do you get someone to
make the first move? Because I also never make the
first move. I have a huge fear of rejection. However,
I've overcome that by putting myself in the best position
possible for them to make the first move, or I
instigate it by saying something like you're really pretty, but
I'm like scared to kiss you, or something like that. That's
(24:33):
what I reason. That's why I said to my girlfriend
at the moment. But I was like, I'm just scared,
and she was like, you're an idiot, but you're not.
Just say you're an idiot, but I could tell it.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I actually think on apps, I kind of just like, huh,
I'm pretty and like kind of funny, please talk to me.
But I think in real life I'm like fairly confident,
like I'm pretty sure actually I'm one hundred percent sure
that I kissed my girlfriend first because she was freaking
out and she was scared and I just did it
because I'm a boss bitch.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, I love that for you. I'm way too nervous.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I think it definitely comes back to like fake it
till you make it, Like if you are nervous, just
like push through and have that confidence. Like even if
that is I've definitely obviously messaged people first, just not
a lot, and like, I don't know, I think I
used to usually go for like something funny or i'd
like pick out something in their profile to talk about.
Because that's why I hate people who don't have anything
(25:28):
in their bio, because like what am I going to message? Like, Hey,
I think you're hot. No, that's not interesting and that's
not gonna go anywhere. But if I'm just like, oh that,
like I could New Zealand. That looks so incredible, Like
I'd love to go there, that's a good conversation start.
So maybe my recommendation for making the first move is
pick out something from their bio and like start conversation
on that.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Hmmm, that's a good one. I mean, like I think
the stock standard ones always how's your week treating you
to this weekend?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I've never replied to the weekend.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
We can expand we can expand, we can we can,
you know, get a little bit crafty with it. But
I think sometimes, I know, I will say this for
myself sometimes when I want to be quirky and funny,
like when I actually want to be is when I'm
not so like, it's really hard to like you just
sort of have to be a little bit natural with it,
which is difficult, right, Like, it's really intimidating messaging someone
(26:20):
for the first time because if you have nothing to
like together, you like, what do you start the conversation with? Like, yeah, hey,
I just I just drank some Milo. Do you do
you like cold beverages? What do you do?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Why do you like?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
This is why? This is why I'm glad I'm not single.
At the moment, I would absolutely crumble, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
God, I was just thinking something and I totally forgot
because that you.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Like cold beverages line, I'm sorry, which you also like
to dismantle the patriarchy, Like I feel like that one's
always a good one.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I have so much in common there.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
The rich perfect. There's some really funny tiktoks out there
now about like, oh, I've remember what I was going
to say one that there was there was some really
funny tiktoks out there about like eating the rich, like
did it? It's really funny. But what I was going
to say was actually in my bio, I always have
like obviously that I'm passionate about queer in indigenous representation,
(27:28):
or I might like put the little Aboriginal like the
three hearts in there, that kind of thing, and like
what's your experience about like kind of I don't know
if you want to call it, like coming out on
dating apps, like obviously they are they know you're like
interested in women because you're on like you're you've matched
with a female. But as of course, as we've said before,
(27:49):
indigenous people who are more pale than sort of the stereotype.
I've often like I've had a lot of questions about like, oh,
you know which family members indigenous, or like oh, like
what percentage are you those kinds of things like have
you had those experience on dating apps and have you
handled those in different ways than you have them with
the real world.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, that's an interesting one. I think on dating apps
you sort of get a little bit of time to
construct your words around what you're saying and how you
sort of like come out black. But I think sometimes
I don't necessarily do it. I used to have the
It wasn't the emojis with the Aboriginal flag, but it
(28:29):
was kind of that block one you can make clack
with the with your keyboard, and I explained it better.
But it's like not brackets, it's like the square brackets
in a hyphen.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I know exactly and exactly about.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I struggled, but I remember doing that and actually, like Sunshine,
my girlfriend, remember she asked me like weeks into when
we were dating. She's like, I didn't know what that meant?
What does that actually mean? And I was like, oh
my god, bless bless you. But because when I talk
about when people ask me what I do, it's it's
directly involved in like Aboriginal toastra islander stuff, and that
(29:09):
usually instigates a conversation about being indigenous. But I'm finding like,
and I will preface unfortunately I was straight once and
I was on dating apps once. I feel like those
conversations we have always been better with women, like women
have just been like yeah, cool, Like I've never really
had like oh, like what percentage or where does that
(29:30):
come from or anything like that, like maybe in real life,
but not really like maybe I've just picked some really
good people or whatever. But I found like men would
be like they probably don't even talk about it or
they sort of just dismiss it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So yeah, well you know what I think. Actually, I
think because you're on in an online space and you're
obviously like swiping or picking people that for whatever reason
you feel like you're going to connect with, we both
have indigenous things in our or had obviously, like whoever swiping,
they're probably going to have some form of like prior
(30:06):
knowledge of culture. So it's almost like weeding out people
if it's in your bio, like you're going to pick
someone who hopefully is a little bit more aware. Yeah,
so that's pretty good as well, like a much easier
way than like having to go on lots of dates
face to face and then have them say something that
was kind of racist or then realize they like kind
of it's going to be an uphill battle of like
educating them and stuff. So like that's also a big
(30:26):
plus phone lane dating.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, Like I have this horror story of a friend
who was dating this girl for ages and then she
found out they were like a one nation supporter and
it was nuts, like, yeah, that's so like she was
always like what's your deal? Like sometimes like she'd be
a little bit like stringent on things or a little
bit hard to talk about with things like that, and yeah,
(30:49):
then she found out that yeah, super one nation supporter
sort of stuff, which is totally like like, yeah, each
their own politics, but it's okay to even that she
was also in she was also indigenous. She was like yeah,
but not like yeah, they didn't last long mentioned not.
But it goes to sort of also pose a question
(31:11):
like how political do you get? And obviously our existence
is political in some way, shape or form, not because
we make it, but because that's the way society is structured,
and systematic racism affects us all daily and everything we do.
So you know, do you are you're outward about it
from the get go or is it conversations you have later,
because that's a really interesting one. Do you bring it?
(31:31):
Is it a first date topic, my abraionality or politics? Both?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, I mean, yeah, I'm like the same, same, right,
you can't exist without being politicized.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
It always goes down as huge.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, well again, like I it's in my bio that
I'm indigenous, It's in my bio that like I'm really
these are core parts of my identity. Yeah, I think
it is the first date thing because like, I don't
want to waste any of my time on someone who
is against my community or is against one of my
core values, like if why on earth would I want
(32:07):
to like, oh, I want to wait and see if
they're racist on the third day. No, I want to
know that, like straight up.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
But yeah, I'm also not sort of like sitting there
interviewing someone being like what are your thoughts on Australia,
your day, your survival day? Like when was the last
time you wore an item of clothing that had the
Southern Cross on it? Like what about you?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Do you have a Southern Cross tattoo? Because it's an
immediate out here almost you're like an Olympian or something.
That's cool. But yeah, that is interesting, speaking of on
my dating and politics, I remember meeting this very incredibly political,
politically minded young woman one time when I was on
a dating app. I would say maybe four years ago
(32:56):
might be a bit of a stretch. And now fast
forward into my day to day life now that I'm
living here down south in Melbourne and yourself Matica are
living in Sydney. Somehow our world's collided. Not too long
you also went on a date with this you know,
remarkable human being. I think she's really lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Okay, I would like to clarify though, I did not
date this human but except with them, yes, And did
you go on a date with them, like you went
on an actual date?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, we went on like a like a first date,
you know, like like ate some vegan breakfast and kicked
a footy nice and like nothing happened since, but sort
of stayed in contact.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, we kind of like if you want to call, like, oh,
you stayed at my house, let's go have breakfast a
date then, Like sure, but maybe that's but a debate
that we can have another time, whether or not that
counter as the day.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
But we can also call it the fact that you
know that that was like a four like you know
that happened to me a long time ago. You know,
I think I've talked to this person maybe like maybe
once a year on random like social media things, and
then somehow, some way, they like they moved states. They
just happened to be friends of friends of yours and
(34:09):
then our paths just Collie.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I remember that was so funny because I think it
was like we were in a photo and they're like
a group photo and you were like, oh my god,
you know this person and I was like yeah, why,
like they're in this AFL team and like I'm friends
with the people on the NFL team, and you were
like that's so cool, like oh she's so nice. And
I was like, yeah, like she's totally cool. And I
don't know if it was then that you told me
(34:36):
oh yeah, and then you were like oh yeah, like
we went on a date or like we made out
or something like that, and I was like cool, yeah also,
and then circumstances would have them that I did indeed,
and I'm sleeping with the person and so but I
was a good friend. I messaged you the day after
and I was like, hey, call it, like what's up,
(34:56):
Like do you remember how good a friends we are?
Just let's happen of mind fast, and.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
I mean like I think you I think you being
us being such great friends. You would also know that
that would be something I did not care for. I'm like,
I like this person, I probably like didn't even hold hands,
Like where did we even get to the point, Like yeah,
where that was even gonna happ whenever's anything about friendship,
So yeah, I wouldn't care at all, but doing the
classic hole, like you know, if it's not like a
relationship or dating, then it's like, let's be friends. So
(35:24):
I have so many friends like that actually that I've
had like a couple of dates with, or I've slept
with and now we're friends kind of thing. Some of
my best friends I've slept with like once, like like
when we met, but now we're good friends. But no,
that's actually.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Same though I absolutely adore my friends and I've slept
with half of them.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
But can we reflect on But can we reflect on
just like how small the lesbian circle can be and
the way that it actually overlaps, Like I know, you
hear horror stories about like the way that all into
collides and things like that, and you never really get it,
And I think I finally get it, Like, yes, it's
just so strange.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
That we live so far away and you met that
person when you lived in another location. That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
We're so Differenttika, Like the thing is like we're both
running completely separate circles.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Well, you're you're you're, you play sport and I hang
out with girls who play sport, So like I can
see that very easily.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Anyway something, But that's weird again, given we're like sort
of niching in on like obviously online dating. I every
single time I'm talking to someone online, I would always
be like, I hate dating apps. Can we we like, like,
add me on Instagram? We'll talk there instead. And that's
a lie, Atika. That is my elaborate plan to get
this person to add me on Instagram so I can
(36:44):
see who else from my friends list they're friends with,
and I can try and piece together if we've stuck
with the same person or not, because it's important.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
It's it is I almost kind of look to do
they'll like, oh this this app keeps crashing? Can you
add me on Instagram? Or like if I think they're
really cool. I also hate that talking stage sometimes as well,
like the whole like what do you do? Yeah, what
are you up to this weekend? And stuff? Like sometimes
(37:13):
I'm just like fly, like you seem really cool. Do
you want to grab a coffee? Like know what that is?
Making the first move? Yeah, well I've only really did
it once. It was with my girlfriend, so that's why
you should do it. Yeah, it's actually funny because I
was kind of out my wits end. I went on
a couple of dates not too long ago. One of
them was with that digitido player. Oh yeah, I mean
(37:33):
I wouldn't call it that. I'd say that like the
cultural appropriator slash missing misinformed foreign visitor, so tourist.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
If you don't know what we're talking about. It was
that the last episode. No, I think it was like, oh,
it's the it's the relationship episode of the last one, yeah,
of last season. Yeah, but if you don't know, we're
talking about girls in that episode.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
But yeah, it was like after that date and then
I had another date not too long ago, like long
too long, like that week, and this girl like booked
a table. Because we're in like in that middle period
of the pandemic, she like booked a table, rocked up
half an hour late. I was drunk as hell by
this point, and then like I had to carry the
whole conversation. It was just messy, and I was just like, nah,
I'm done with dating apps, Like I'm done, but I
(38:18):
already had that coffee teed up with Sunshine like and
I was like, okay, well, like I'll just go to
this one and then I'm done.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Had a date with Fate, that's what you had.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Gosh, she's gonna love this episode. Yeah cut, But yeah, anyway,
so dating apps or have been leading to some really
cool experiences. And I have a couple of friends that
I've made from meeting them on dating apps and stuff.
So I'm pretty thankful for that opportunity. And you know,
we're in a we're in a society now where we
(38:49):
have this pandemic which makes it even harder to meet people.
So I think it's absolutely a great opportunity to feel
a little bit less isolated and make that human connection,
even if it is online to start with, because you know,
we're all human beings and I think can all feel
a little bit less lonely if we have the opportunity to.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
So yeah, I totally agree. Well, I think that's probably
a really good note to finish episode one of season
two on. But before we do do that. Of course,
if you're familiar with last season, you'll know that pretty
much every episode we do a quiter Black Excellence, which
is where we highlight someone who is queer or indigenous
(39:27):
and doing something cool or is sort of worth a
shout out. And this season we're going to go sort
of one for one, So Courtney will have one one week,
I'll have one the other week. That kind of thing. So, Courtney,
who is your Black Excellence.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
For this week? Amongst so many other queer black excellent
people out there? I think we should also add just
existing in this intersectional space is excellence. I don't think
you'd have to do anything dramatically, insanely incredibly amazing to
be talked about. I think, honestly, I'd love people to
start nominating people. I think my view of what's excellence
(40:02):
is probably really different. So honestly, for all of us
that are just existing in space and having to create
our own space, and create our own role models and
make a save space for ourselves and institutions and things
that aren't set up for us to to you know, thrive,
and to make it better fit for our for our
next generation, you're all bloody excellent and I'm so proud
(40:23):
to even just be associated with the same big sectionality
identities as some of you. But we will call out
like a specific individual this week also a out for
Australia thirty Under thirty winner or made the list but
then also made the got a major award for Student
of the Year. Now I'm going to read through their
(40:45):
instagram by home because there is so much that this
individual has done. So Hayden Moon is one hundred our
Queer Black Excellence winner for the week. Person were acknowledging,
Yeah pronounce a he they war adri brother boy, trans Masque,
(41:05):
amazing Queer Irish dancer, Low Vision PhD candidate does a
lot of work with Acon, does a lot of cool,
incredible work around intersectionality, super into the Irish dancing community,
which which I'm here for because like what that is wicked,
But yeah, incredibly honored for us to even be recognized
(41:26):
in the same sentence or breath is someone like Hayden
and I think we can keep celebrating what he does
every day. I think we're onto it. But yeah, so
check him out. I think his page is very informative
and educational and it's just really cool to watch mob
do incredible things that they're doing. Honestly, I'm just an
(41:47):
awe of what he does, and I think you know,
I'm probably operating out a one percent of what he does.
So good on your Hayden.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah, absolutely so. As always, we will tag Hayden on
our Instagram, So head on over there at Coming Out
Black BLAK and you can see who we've highlighted each week. Also,
we'll be sharing things for community and just sort of
random things as we do on our Instagram. And I
think Courtney, what you said before as well about the
idea of people nominating people for our Queer Black Excellence, Like,
(42:19):
I would love for people either to sort of dm
us on Instagram or even email us at Coming Out
Black at gmail dot com and sort of highlight someone
who you think is worth us giving a shout out,
to maybe write a little like little bio for them,
or talk about why you're nominating them to be our
quick Black Excellence, and we can absolutely highlight them on
the podcast as well, because you're right, like when we
(42:42):
say queer Black excellence, we don't mean someone who's out
there like impacting five thousand people a day. We're talking
about sung heroes and people who are in their own unique,
incredible way excellent, just like all of us who are
MOB and who are part of this community. So we
would love to have some more nominations as well.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
And also if you get the time and you have
the means, please please keep dominating to Ryan's fundraiser. We're
about two and a half koa. He's hoping to get
his top surgery midway through next year. I would love
to push really really hard on this and get that
by Christmas as a Christmas present from us to him.
It's just been announced as well that he starts his
(43:22):
tea at the start of the year, so that's really huge.
So if you get the opportunity and you want to
you want to send any advice or congratulations or well
wishes to Ryan, please pass someone to us and we
will pass them on to him. I think I'm going
to plan to do a follow up interview with him
as well as he's going through his transitioning and check in.
(43:43):
But also I know that a lot of people are
following his story, so I'd love to provide an opportunity
to keep telling those But yeah, so please anything that
you've got, whether it's four dolls, for a coffee or whatever.
You know, We've got about one two hundred followers now
on our Instagram, so I sort of think if you
will have about two dollars each, we're there. So keep
pushing it, keep promoting it in your own circles as well,
(44:05):
and yeah, thanks for thanks for being with us, and
welcome to season two. H
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