October 22, 2025 • 33 mins
We're welcoming back two very special guests, Melanie and her daughter Jess, who first joined the show earlier this year to share their story in the lead-up to Melanie donating a kidney to Jess.
Now, they’re back to tell us what happened next.
When we last heard from them, Jess had just been diagnosed with stage-five renal failure at age 27, with her kidneys functioning at only 4%. Since then, she’s undergone a successful transplant, with her mum’s kidney, and both women have come through the experience with new perspectives on life, health, and gratitude.
Want to donate to Jess's fundraiser? https://fundraise.kidney.org.au/fundraisers/JessKeepinitRenal
The Double A Chattery podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor/patient relationship is formed and this podcast is no substitute for professional psychological or other medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The use of information in this podcast is at the listener’s own risk. Listeners should seek the help of their health care professionals for any medical conditions.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast is for general information only and should not
be taken as psychological advice. Listeners should consult with their
healthcare professionals for a specific medical advice.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, and welcome to Double A Chattery. I'm Amanda Keller.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And Amonina McGregor.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Look, I've got the giggles because we've got some friends
here in the studio, Melanie and her daughter Jess, and
we spoke to them a couple of months ago about
Melanie donating her kidney for her daughter Jess. Just to
give you a bit of a backstory, Melanie and I
have known each other for one hundred years. We went
to school together. We've been Barry Manolo lovers together minus
the love a bit. We've traveled together, our families are
(00:53):
joined at the hit. We know each other very well.
And hello ladies, Hello, Hello, Hello. So we've had lots
of people asking how you've got on because we spoke
to you before your operations plural.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
So how about, just in case.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You haven't followed the story, where were we at the
very end of December.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Yes, Year's Eve twenty twenty four didn't exactly go to
plan as to how I thought it would. I went
for a routine blood test that morning, thought that I
would get it out of the way while it was quiet.
Got a call about five hours later while I was
at work saying that I've been diagnosed with stage five
renal failure that I needed to get to an emergency immediately.
(01:35):
So my world completely shifted, and within the next twenty
four hours, I was moved to two different hospitals, I
was admitted, and then I had a whole team of specialists,
and pretty much that kicked off my journey for twenty
twenty five of dealing with stage five renal failure.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And I remember very early on when Mel texts me saying,
bloody hell, this has just happened. We're waiting at the
hospital to see what it means. I said, well, what
does renal five you mean? And you said transplant yep.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
And what does stage five mean? Like, is it the end?
You are only st five stages?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Correct? So I again was like, well what does stage
five mean?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Assuming that it wasn't good but they were both Everyone
was like, your kidneys, both of them are at four percent,
they're not working. Both of them had just completely shut down.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
And you were pretty much asymptomatic.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Totally asymptomatic.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
And that's the scary thing about this disease is it
presents no symptoms at all. Unless you're born with the disease,
then there's some kind of expectation. But for ninety six
percent of people, I'm pretty sure the stats are everyone
goes undiagnosed and like asymptomatic completely. So it's not until
you are in these final stages that it really ramps
up and it's it's transplant, that's it. There's no cure
(02:48):
for this disease.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And Mel, I know you had new Z plans, so
he said, jes put it on hold. Yeah, I've got
people coming over.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
We have plans.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
We've got plans. I mean, your life spell on the
head of a pin too. It did, it.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Did, and you know, we sort of originally thought it's
not stage five.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
They've made a mistake.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Maybe she has an infection, you know, And so they
and the specialist said the same thing. You know, it
could be an infection. Let's run all the tests again,
you know. But they did that about three times and
then just went, look, no, it is stage five. And
so your choices are you don't have to have a transplant.
You're lucky to have one is dialysis, So and that's
(03:26):
a life saving measure, not a long term life saving.
I mean some people last ten twenty years on it.
But it's a short gap.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Separate to your circumstances, Jess and your condition. You weren't
born with this, but Mel, your husband, your dad. Jess
has had kidney issues and has had two kidney transplants.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Yeah, his was actually a disease that he just developed,
you know, in his early thirties. Jess has had all
the tests for that and biopsies of her kidneys and
it's not that so her kidneys are actually were actually healthy.
So what they've sort of attributed it to is high
(04:09):
blood pressure.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Wow, just slowly over the last probably five or six years,
it's slowly just taken its course in the back end,
and my body, because I am young, has just masked everything.
So any symptom that I did have, it was just
attributed to, Oh, I'm feeling a little bit faint, but
that's in line when I have my period, so that
checks out. I might have low iron. That was pretty
(04:32):
much the most severe symptom.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
What did you know that you had high blood pressure?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
It was kind of misdiagnosed whenever I went to the
doctors's white coat syndrome, because I did get very anxious.
It was completely natural. And also whenever I went to
the doctors, I was still in my early to mid twenties,
so there was no reason.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
To flag this.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
It's quite odd to diagnose someone so young with hypertension,
so it was always kind of just put to the side.
But then obviously it was doing it sing in the
back end, and that's where I ended.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Up so very early on Meil. Just to recap where
we spoke to you last time, you put your hand
up and said I'd like to be tested to be
the donor.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yep, yeah, so I said.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
When they said she's in renal, faid Aaron, she will
have to go on dialysis and her best hope is
a transplant, then I said pick me. So then we
then started the process of doing that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And that's not an easy process either. Means it's a
detailed process, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
It's a detailed process and and extremely thorough. So it's
a great way to get a complete grease and aill
change the.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Lengths You've gone for a cheap, cheap.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
And they check absolutely everything, so it's it's all your
major organs, your overall health, you know, everything, and we
probably when I look back, it's been very very quick,
you know. So you're on dialysis by mid January, and
(06:06):
we started out going down one track and then changed
our way and went to another hospital, and by the
time we got there to the actual transplant was really
only about four months, which is very quick.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is that quick? Very transplant life?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Yeah, very quick, because there's a thousand blood tests just
not so much like the testing, but for me, there
was a thousand blood tests and urine tests and scans
and nuclear medicine and all that sort of stuff just to.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Make because they want to make sure that.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
Everything will go okay and the kid not just the
kidneys are okay, but everything else is okay.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Is the big question. Can you thrive on one kidney?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yep, no different at all, they've sort of said to me.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
And what I have sort of found now is tiredness,
And they said that'll probably be a good six months
because your other kidney is compensating and getting bigger, so.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
It grows physically bigger.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, yeah, so and competent.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
It never gets right back to the one hundred percent
of having two kidneys. But they said, you'll get to
about seventy five, baby, and as we know, you can
live on five orteen percent and not know anything, so
it's perfectly fine.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So when we spoke to you, you were about to
go into surgery and we didn't want to speak about
fears then because it was all about to happen for you.
Looking back, how shit scared were you?
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I think it was more so the fear of the unknown.
I think for me personally, the surgery was the biggest
thing because I'd never had a surgery in my life
and this is a pretty big surgery, so naturally I
was absolutely freaking out. But the way that the renal
teams and the coordinators handle all of this is great.
They ask or request you to go and see a psychiatrist.
(07:53):
They have a renal psych on team as well. You
can go see a private psych in the lead up
to your surgeries to make sure that you're as grounded
as you can be. So I went to four or
five sessions to make sure that I was okay. Because
my personal struggle was dealing with the actual surgery. I
didn't really care too much about the aftermath or anything,
because in my head, the immediate thing was the surgery,
(08:16):
So I needed to kind of get that fear out
of the way. And now that I look back on it,
easiest thing of done absolutely the anticipation because you have
absolutely no idea, it's so out of your control. You
don't know how your body's going to react. And then
the aftermath of it all completely fine.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
As a psychologist, Anita, you must deal with people throughout
your career who have completely rational fears about the unknown.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
M m oh. Absolutely, And it was it was really
I just got a little little moment of isn't that lovely?
That's a professional pride, Yeah, professional pride that we can
be part of that process, that that it is figuring
out what is what it is for you? Because yeah,
because it could have been it could have been the operation,
but it also could have been worry about you know,
(09:10):
what's going to happen, and you know there could be
you know, a thousand things, but just that ability to
go and kind of say, what is it for you, jess,
what is the thing that is exactly is making you
loose sleep night?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And the psychiatrist was great. He touched on those things
as well. He's like, you worried more so about the
ramifications of the medication. You're going to be afterwards. Are
you worried about how you're going to handle the isolation
of three months of being a very social person and
not seeing something. And I was like, at the moment,
this is my fear. I need you to help me
work through this. Let's bench the rest of it, because
otherwise it's just too much on my plate for now.
(09:42):
So I can only deal with what's immediately in front of.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Chan, So one step at a time exactly, Otherwise.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
It's too overwhelming. I've learnt to let everything live at
surface level for this. Otherwise, if you really dive into it,
a spiral.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And is that new for you to think like that?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Oh, it's lately changed my perception of everything. I no
longer am a very stressed person. I'm very relaxed because
in my head, I'm like, if I can get through that,
which was hell, I can do anything. And I the
way that I learned to navigate that was for me
step by step. I disassociate if too many people try
(10:19):
and overload me with information, because I was like, I
can't handle that, So let's walk me through this step
by step. And that's what I do. In my day
to day life as well, so less stress. It's not
the end of the world trying not to put your
energy into everything.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And Mel how about you have you do you approach
things differently now.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
I'd say it was completely opposite, you know, going through
so I was, you know, I have to know everything
about everything. How's this going to work, how's that going
to work, who's going to do what? What if this
goes wrong? What if that goes wrong?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
How the doctors respond to that?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Fantastic?
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And I have to say the teams were I think
actually liked being asked questions because I think a lot
of times people just stand there and go, okay, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I said, what about this, I've read this, I've read that,
I've done that, and they were great.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
So every meeting that I had with my team, because
we had two separate teams, was always, you know, forty
minutes to an hour, so there was never like you're
in and out you'll be fine, you know. It was
they really took the time to explain everything, and I
guess they sort of really put my mind at ease
because my biggest fear was I wasn't too worried about me.
(11:31):
I thought that'd be fine, but what if it doesn't work?
You know, what if they they give Jessica the kidney
and it just goes no, I'm tapping out, you know
what happens? Then no, there is no plane B you know,
So how.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Did they had they navigate that with you? Because how
did they make that better?
Speaker 7 (11:49):
Well?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
They were good.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
They weren't dismissive, you know, they weren't going, oh, you'll
be right, you know, everything like that. They did all
the science behind it, you know, and particularly the surgeon,
he was fantastic. He said, totally realistic fear, you know,
And he said, so let's go through it. Let's look
at the numbers, let's you know, because he sort of said,
math doesn't lie, science doesn't lie.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
So let's have a look.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And at the end of it, he said, there's no
actual reason that it won't work. I can guarantee you
it'll start working on the table.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
And it did.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So was there a lot of given that your husband's
truspunts for how long ago? Oh, twenty five years twenty
five years ago? Was a lot of your questions and
your concerns based on what the technology was back then
versus now? Yes, yeah, I can imagine that that would
be a lot of that was then this is now
(12:40):
kind of responses to you.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Dramatically different. The surgery is dramatically different. It's nowhere near
as invasive.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You know, for either of you.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No, no, I mean it's a big surgery for both.
But mine was laparoscopic.
Speaker 6 (12:55):
And then you have a little scar like a Caesar scar,
but a tiny one, and that's it. And I can
honestly say getting my appendix out was worse. I didn't
find it bad at all, and the care afterwards was exceptional.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So you made me laugh when you said you walked
into the surgical room whatever that room's caught what's it
called surgery? I'm getting, don't tell me how it ends?
And you saw an eskie in the court.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I saw one of those organ escies, and I think
I said to the nurse, oh, someone you know, is
that an organ thing? And she said, yes, you.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Haven't understood the procedures, have you.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Let's just run through that one more.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Time, so you have separate teams and on the day
you're stitched up, you're fine. Just your chemistry and everything
(14:00):
I imagine was micro managed from that minute.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
To a millisecond, and that's why you go on dialysis
as well, is because my body is completely full of
toxins because nothing's working. So the process of that is
to try and get everything out. And then pretty much
the month in the lead up to the transplant, I
was managed by my neurologist who's my Gidney specialists within
an inch of my life. Any I did a blood
(14:23):
test maybe every second day or so, just to make
sure any changes. It's everything down to like how much
potassium you have, how much phosphate because all of this
then interacts with the anesthetic that you go wonder So
it's a real chemical nightmare essentially.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Because you weren't aware that your insides weren't working.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
Absolutely not. I was fine to what I thought, I
was fine, But yeah, I was completely managed within an
inch of my life. And then Mum went in for
the procedure. Once she was done in the morning, the nurses.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Came, well wake, I mean, did you know? Okay? Now
they beat me down.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Yeah, luxury that bucket again?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So did you did you hear? Okay? Mum's bits done?
Like were you compassed for that stuff?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
So.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I was admitted the night before hospital, so I dialized
the night before in hospital. Mum was admitted. The next
morning she completed her surgery, and then the team came
up and said, right, Mum's done's your turn, and then
off I went.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And what was that moment for you? Given that that
was your peak fear, how was that moment?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
God?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I just completely disassociated. I was just like, oh gosh,
I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I have to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I have to do it.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
So, yeah, you're completely sober and so alert for it.
So it's just it's a very humbling experience, and but
you kind of have to zone in and.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
What do you mean by humbling.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
It's just very confrontational, and you feel extremely vulnerable because
you're like, this is it? Like I have no control
over how the next six hours go. For all I knew,
I was like, this is my worst fear coming to life,
Like this could be it. That's where my head went.
And I was like, Okay, well I've that's all I
can do.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I've had a rich and beauty life, freight life.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Ieurally that the surgeon had a really nice sleep and.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Exactly hope everyone's arrested real caffeinated, but no, it was great.
And then I got down to theater, and everyone was
extremely reassuring, and my surgeon was great as well, so
she was with me through the whole process, continue to
check on me post off as well, so I could
only do what I could do.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I saw you, probably it was a week later or something,
and you looked amazing. I hadn't you felt, so you
felt better than you had been the previous year.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Probably the previous five years. I'd just been masking how
I felt. I realized I felt quite mediocre for the
last five years, probably since I was like twenty five,
twenty six. And within a week I was like, I
get it, Like I'm full of energy. My skin completely
cleared out, my eyes were white as anything, and I
(17:06):
was like, I'm good to go. I feel amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
This is insane, but a lot of planets had to
align for you to be in the right place at
the right time for your body to fall apart. You'd
been living overseas.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Absolutely living overseas. The month before I was diagnosed, I
was in the States for four weeks, so you can
only imagine if something happened over there, I'd just be
game over.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Our parents wouldn't have paid for that. Now. Emotionally, you know,
as you said, it's your daughter, your hands up, let
it be me. But what has that ride been like?
Has it been hard to be selfless? No?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
No, it hasn't been hard.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
And I guess being hyper vigilant, I just wanted to
get it done, you know. And they kept saying to me,
it's happening as quick as we can go, like and
when I look back and I, you know, talk to
other people and they go, yeah, it took eight eight
months for the test, and go, oh, okay, so four
months I should just shut up.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
But afterwards they were great.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
They sort of said to me when I woke up,
they sort of said, don't try and get out of bed,
don't try and go and see her. Your bit's done.
We're going to look after you. We'll let you know what's.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Happening, right, And they were fantastic.
Speaker 6 (18:19):
They came in every hour, Jess is doing this, just
doing this, he's or own numbers, you know, so they
really tapped into that.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
So emotion tapped into that.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You'd want to see how she was.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, yeah, so she came down to see me, so
that was good.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Two days later, two days.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
Later, yeah, so yeah, I think afterwards it's it's a weird.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Kind of feeling, you know. I don't quite know how
to describe it.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
You I'm still anxious that maybe something will go wrong.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
And again they still.
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Soay, it doesn't matter if you mean, for Jess, Yeah, yeah,
I feel fine, you know, and I actually feel great,
you know, and except for the tiredness. But yeah, anxious
that maybe something might go wrong. And as they sort
of say to me, well, we can fix it if
it does, so it doesn't matter, you know. So and
(19:11):
they said, and if something happens, you can't do anything
about that.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So you've got to let that go and just trust
the process. So that's been tricky.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But because you're not the sort of person that can
relax and trust the process, you've always set the process.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, but not being a doctor, I thought.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Maybe I should let them.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Have a go.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You've come a long long has there has there been
for either of you moments of of reprieve of this
is over. There's there's lots of next steps. They'll come
and they'll be fine, like everything will be okay, where
you can just kind of let go and just sit
(19:57):
in the I don't even know, in the gratitude of
the moment, of that's done. I'm here, I'm healthy, I'm.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Absolutely I mean my sister said to me yesterday, she say,
do you feel like you have your life back?
Speaker 5 (20:07):
And I was like, you have no idea. The last
like ten months has been literal hell.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
I've been locked in a house pretty much, hooked up
to a machine. Yeah, and a dungeon yum, hooked up
to a machine for ten hours a day. Like I
everything I ate was completely monetarized, like its just I
had no freedom. I was completely attached to this machine.
So the second it was done, even like the twenty
(20:35):
four hours afterwards, I was like, oh my god, I
don't have to do dialysis. This is wild, this is insane.
That was the gratitude that I took from it, because
I was like, I don't know how.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
People do this for years.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
It's as much as you do have your life, it's
completely debilitating and it dictates your whole life. So to
now have the freedom back, like I went to dinner
for the first time in a year the night, Like
little things like that was a huge, huge win for me.
So it's just these little things that I take for granted,
we'll took for granted.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Well, how do you feel about people who go through
this for people who aren't even necessarily their family.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
As in donors, do you Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:17):
It was, as I said to you before, I have
a friend who donated to another friend, not even a
good friend, just really like a work acquaintance. And he
sort of said to me afterwards, you know, he just
felt it was the right thing to do. And personally,
how I feel is that I feel that we've got
our lives back, you know, and I feel that things
(21:40):
are starting to get back to normal. It'll never be
exactly the same, but it's almost, you know. And I guess,
you know, when I woke up, I wrote down stuff
in the hospital because I thought I might forget it all.
And it's something that if I could, I would do again,
you know. And I think and the same with my
(22:00):
friends that have done it. They said, yeah, I wish
I could do it again because you feel good afterwards,
but you you also you're mourning the loss of something
as well, and you're not quite sure what that is.
And as the surgeon said to me, it's messes with
your head a bit. And he said, even as a
surgeon and a medical team, you're not meant to take
out things that are working perfectly. Well, that's that goes
(22:23):
against everything. So he said, there's that psychological thing and
that can make it quite draining, you know.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So I think, I don't know if this is really
answering your question.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
You answer whatever you'd like, Okay.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
So I think sort of the first month, which is
she's monitored every day the first month, and you know,
they're tweaking things and into the hospital every day, you know,
and all that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
There's still a lot of stuff.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
But now she's like it once a week into the hospital.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Now how many months post operations?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Just about to hit three months?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
So yeah, it's I said, I don't think I'm really
answering your question, but.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
You would you you you can understand why people would
do it for people that don't know or people that
aren't their family.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, I can.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
I can, and and it's really I guess if I
had a message, it would be it's nowhere near as
bad as you think it's going to be. The operation
itself is it's nothing, you know, pain wise, there was none.
The only sort of pain you feel tight, that's all,
you know, Like we've done lots of sit ups, you know, yeah,
(23:37):
neither do. I read that your stomach can. The only
pain for me was shoulder pain. And that's very common
because the gas they put in you to blow you
up for some reason, I thought it'd come out somewhere else,
but it tends to travel to your shoulders and so
and that's quite painful, you know. So when they give
(23:58):
you all the pain relief, it's really for you shoulder,
not for anything else, which is weird.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And that does last a couple of weeks, you know,
on and off.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
But just you're embarking on a are you running, walking, cycling?
What is it you're doing?
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Yes, absolutely none of those things. And this month, October
is the Red Sox Month Run. So Kidney Health Australia
pretty much put on this run every month and it's
purely just to promote awareness of the disease and they've
attached doing a Red Sox run to it. So the
aim of the game is to run or walk or
(24:34):
cycle sixty kilometers within the month, which is supposed to
represent the sixty hours a month people spent on dialysis.
I have taken upon myself to run three hundred kilometers
with some of my friends because that represents the three
hundred hours I spent on dialysis each month.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I've sponsored my hands out, thank you so much. And
people do want to sponsor or donate, what do they do.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I've got a link that I can send on our
socials people, and it's a great it's a great cause
as well. You can see people around Australia have got
teams renal units are doing it as well, and it's
purely just to raise awareness and to hopefully travel virtually
to all of the dialysis units in Australia. But each
anytime someone fundraises, it allows for people to hop on
(25:22):
like this red bus that they've got going around so
they can dialize remotely, puts accommodation up for people who
are traveling rually into the hospital, so post transplant as well,
when they're traveling in every single day for like six
seven weeks. So it's a great little cause and it's
just raising awareness, which is the main end of the game.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And what was the name you've used? I love it,
just can't remember.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
I can't remember, just keeping it renal, just keeping it.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
What was the name you've chosen?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I've gone with a little bit of a punny name,
so it's just keeping it renal, keeping it renal, really
leaning into it very nice.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So if we were to speak to you in a year,
what are you hoping? You'd be saying that If this
question means nothing, let it go. But is this something
you hope where you'll be in a year.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I just hope I'm like make it through these little
hiccups because I think the first three months and the
first year is really like a trial and tribulation of everything.
So it's a lot of tweaking of everything. So I
think once you hit that year mark, you pretty much
on the home stretch. But it also opens more doors
for me as well, so I can start traveling again.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
That's probably my biggest thing. Travel insurance after.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
You so you have to wait a year, but then
it's back to normal.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
And then it's back to normal, so it opens up
more doors after a year or so. So I think
that's my little goal. Obviously not going to do like
a six week Europe extravaganza, but maybe I can still
pop overseas and that just gives me my freedom back
as well because travel is so important to me.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
So that's probably my goal.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
After the year that email, I think I'll just be
relieved after the year, you know, and we can also
get our lives back as well, because every everything's put
on hold. And my other daughter came back from interrupted
her trip, came back from Europe, so she's now settled
back here, decided not to go back, so then she's
starting now to get back into her.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Life and go back to work and all that sort
of things. So it's been a big thing for everybody.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
So I think it would just be nice to be normal,
you know, and do the normal things like go to
a restaurant, you know, and to be able to travel
and just just be normal, I guess, as opposed to
being literally all of us were locked in the house
because we're also terrified we were going to get something
and then she would get sick and then to be
pushed and you know, all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So well, so this New Year's Eve, it was last
New Year's Eve where it all fell apart, wasn't this
New's Eve? What will you be doing?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Still not hitting the crowds.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
But what a year to reflect on?
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Absolutely, Yeah, so grateful, grateful that it all went well and.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Has it just has it you know, thinking about you know,
when when you're young. You have these, you know, you know,
I love to travel.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Has it changed your values or has it just solidified
the things that you thought that you loved? No, I
really really do.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
I think it's definitely solidified things, especially my love for travel,
my love for going out and trying new restaurants. I've
pretty much tried every hobby under the sun, and I've
discovered that I'm extremely mediocre a lot of.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Things, so she is.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
So it's really solidified that I'm amazing at eating, drinking,
and traveling, you know, exactly. So it's really made me
appreciate it exactly, like Mum said, taking for granted, going
for dinner, going for a coffee, I'm slowly getting back
out there and things like that, and then the ability
to get back on a plane, and then they're kind
of my core values, if you will. So yeah, it's
(29:04):
definitely solidified everything for me, this whole process.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Lovely.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Just before we go, Jess, what were the hobbies that
you tried you're in isolation.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Didn't I try?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I tried sewing, I tried knitting, I tried coloring. I
tried painting, which was extremely fun because one of the
drugs I'm on gives me the shakes a little bit,
so it just really amped up the frustration that I'm
very not good at this.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Man. I think there's an exhibition on its way.
Speaker 6 (29:29):
Absolutely a paper numbers, you know, and we were trying
to help and say, I think you've gone out of
the line.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
It's three abstract.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I want to see pictures.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Well, we will put up all the details. Jess for
keeping it real and look, I look forward to our
lives being intertwined for a gazillion more years, and probably
as of next weekend we'll be seeing you again. But
thanks for coming in and sharing story.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Well, well, what an amazing thing that conversation was. I
absolutely loved it. Let's get to Uglymas. Do you want
to go first?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm going to go first. Okay, I've already shared the
news with you, Amanda, and I will be asking that forevermore.
You now will call me ass pro Can I just
stop it? Ass I knew you would.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
This is great news. Tell us what ask pro is?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
So I just received a promotion to associate professor.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Congratulations, Thank you very much. Tell me in the context
of academia and your work, what does it mean.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, I still do exactly the same work. It's the
title is basically in recognition for the teaching, the research,
the work that I the leadership work that I've done
over the past five years, and so it all kind
of comes together. In January, I will have the title
of associate professor.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And does it come at the end of your name
and Aida McGregor as pro or when we're talking about
you associate professor Nida McGregor. Which way?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Either way, I will be really really happy. I don't mind.
It was a really grueling process to go through. The
application process.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It was I won the bikini section.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I did. I did it, and I was miss Congeniality,
I think nut.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
But it was really it.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Was a really intriguing process to go through. I just
found out a week or so ago, and it's just
it's just a really lovely recognition and it just it feels, yeah,
it feels quite lovely. It's a great glimmer, very nice,
and thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
What's yours? My glimmer is almost as important and almost
as impressive.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
IM sure it is.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I'm filming the second season of The Piano at the moment,
and once again, what a beautiful show that is everyone's stories,
everyone who's watching the piano. What's different this time around
is that everyone knows the show, and that seems unusual
to me because it's an ABC show. But everyone seems
to have had some connection to it. So people who were
standing around a public piano say, is this the piano?
(32:17):
The piano is now the star, which is lovely. We're filming.
I won't say where, but we're filming in a public
place because I don't how much about the show I'm
allowed to speak about. But I was wearing an outfit
that had been picked by a stylist. You know, it's
not just me going oh what have I got? This
will do? And I had the shirt. Well, i'll tell
you what I was wearing after I give you the
(32:37):
comment that I heard this man in the crowd who's
probably in his sixties. He certainly wasn't sutorially gifted himself.
He said, Amanda, his shirt's tucked in, and I had
to say, do you mind this is a French tuck?
Have you not heard of the French tuck? And he
can you believe it? He hadn't heard of the French Tuckanita,
(32:58):
where you tuck out front of one half of the
top end and the other just hangs down. He hadn't
even heard of it.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I know, like when I first started seeing it, I
thought it was like people like leaving the bathroom with
you know something.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
How's he thought it happened. He thought I was standing
in front of eight cameras and eighteen producers and eighteen
wardrobe assistance, and that no one had noticed but him.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
He was saving you from yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Afterwards, I wish he'd mentioned the parsley on my teeth,
but still that's also very French.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
I'll be looking for that on that episode.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You'll see it. Well. Lots of love to you, and
lots of love to everybody. If you'd like to comment
on anything we've been talking about, please let us love yea,
yea
This podcast is for general information only and should not
be taken as psychological advice. Listeners should consult with their
healthcare professionals for a specific medical advice.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, and welcome to Double A Chattery. I'm Amanda Keller.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And Amonina McGregor.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Look, I've got the giggles because we've got some friends
here in the studio, Melanie and her daughter Jess, and
we spoke to them a couple of months ago about
Melanie donating her kidney for her daughter Jess. Just to
give you a bit of a backstory, Melanie and I
have known each other for one hundred years. We went
to school together. We've been Barry Manolo lovers together minus
the love a bit. We've traveled together, our families are
(00:53):
joined at the hit. We know each other very well.
And hello ladies, Hello, Hello, Hello. So we've had lots
of people asking how you've got on because we spoke
to you before your operations plural.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
So how about, just in case.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
You haven't followed the story, where were we at the
very end of December.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Yes, Year's Eve twenty twenty four didn't exactly go to
plan as to how I thought it would. I went
for a routine blood test that morning, thought that I
would get it out of the way while it was quiet.
Got a call about five hours later while I was
at work saying that I've been diagnosed with stage five
renal failure that I needed to get to an emergency immediately.
(01:35):
So my world completely shifted, and within the next twenty
four hours, I was moved to two different hospitals, I
was admitted, and then I had a whole team of specialists,
and pretty much that kicked off my journey for twenty
twenty five of dealing with stage five renal failure.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And I remember very early on when Mel texts me saying,
bloody hell, this has just happened. We're waiting at the
hospital to see what it means. I said, well, what
does renal five you mean? And you said transplant yep.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
And what does stage five mean? Like, is it the end?
You are only st five stages?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Correct? So I again was like, well what does stage
five mean?
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Assuming that it wasn't good but they were both Everyone
was like, your kidneys, both of them are at four percent,
they're not working. Both of them had just completely shut down.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
And you were pretty much asymptomatic.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
Totally asymptomatic.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
And that's the scary thing about this disease is it
presents no symptoms at all. Unless you're born with the disease,
then there's some kind of expectation. But for ninety six
percent of people, I'm pretty sure the stats are everyone
goes undiagnosed and like asymptomatic completely. So it's not until
you are in these final stages that it really ramps
up and it's it's transplant, that's it. There's no cure
(02:48):
for this disease.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And Mel, I know you had new Z plans, so
he said, jes put it on hold. Yeah, I've got
people coming over.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
We have plans.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
We've got plans. I mean, your life spell on the
head of a pin too. It did, it.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Did, and you know, we sort of originally thought it's
not stage five.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
They've made a mistake.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Maybe she has an infection, you know, And so they
and the specialist said the same thing. You know, it
could be an infection. Let's run all the tests again,
you know. But they did that about three times and
then just went, look, no, it is stage five. And
so your choices are you don't have to have a transplant.
You're lucky to have one is dialysis, So and that's
(03:26):
a life saving measure, not a long term life saving.
I mean some people last ten twenty years on it.
But it's a short gap.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Separate to your circumstances, Jess and your condition. You weren't
born with this, but Mel, your husband, your dad. Jess
has had kidney issues and has had two kidney transplants.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Yeah, his was actually a disease that he just developed,
you know, in his early thirties. Jess has had all
the tests for that and biopsies of her kidneys and
it's not that so her kidneys are actually were actually healthy.
So what they've sort of attributed it to is high
(04:09):
blood pressure.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Wow, just slowly over the last probably five or six years,
it's slowly just taken its course in the back end,
and my body, because I am young, has just masked everything.
So any symptom that I did have, it was just
attributed to, Oh, I'm feeling a little bit faint, but
that's in line when I have my period, so that
checks out. I might have low iron. That was pretty
(04:32):
much the most severe symptom.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
What did you know that you had high blood pressure?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
It was kind of misdiagnosed whenever I went to the
doctors's white coat syndrome, because I did get very anxious.
It was completely natural. And also whenever I went to
the doctors, I was still in my early to mid twenties,
so there was no reason.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
To flag this.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
It's quite odd to diagnose someone so young with hypertension,
so it was always kind of just put to the side.
But then obviously it was doing it sing in the
back end, and that's where I ended.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Up so very early on Meil. Just to recap where
we spoke to you last time, you put your hand
up and said I'd like to be tested to be
the donor.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yep, yeah, so I said.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
When they said she's in renal, faid Aaron, she will
have to go on dialysis and her best hope is
a transplant, then I said pick me. So then we
then started the process of doing that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And that's not an easy process either. Means it's a
detailed process, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
It's a detailed process and and extremely thorough. So it's
a great way to get a complete grease and aill
change the.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Lengths You've gone for a cheap, cheap.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
And they check absolutely everything, so it's it's all your
major organs, your overall health, you know, everything, and we
probably when I look back, it's been very very quick,
you know. So you're on dialysis by mid January, and
(06:06):
we started out going down one track and then changed
our way and went to another hospital, and by the
time we got there to the actual transplant was really
only about four months, which is very quick.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is that quick? Very transplant life?
Speaker 6 (06:22):
Yeah, very quick, because there's a thousand blood tests just
not so much like the testing, but for me, there
was a thousand blood tests and urine tests and scans
and nuclear medicine and all that sort of stuff just to.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Make because they want to make sure that.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
Everything will go okay and the kid not just the
kidneys are okay, but everything else is okay.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Is the big question. Can you thrive on one kidney?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yep, no different at all, they've sort of said to me.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
And what I have sort of found now is tiredness,
And they said that'll probably be a good six months
because your other kidney is compensating and getting bigger, so.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
It grows physically bigger.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, yeah, so and competent.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
It never gets right back to the one hundred percent
of having two kidneys. But they said, you'll get to
about seventy five, baby, and as we know, you can
live on five orteen percent and not know anything, so
it's perfectly fine.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So when we spoke to you, you were about to
go into surgery and we didn't want to speak about
fears then because it was all about to happen for you.
Looking back, how shit scared were you?
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I think it was more so the fear of the unknown.
I think for me personally, the surgery was the biggest
thing because I'd never had a surgery in my life
and this is a pretty big surgery, so naturally I
was absolutely freaking out. But the way that the renal
teams and the coordinators handle all of this is great.
They ask or request you to go and see a psychiatrist.
(07:53):
They have a renal psych on team as well. You
can go see a private psych in the lead up
to your surgeries to make sure that you're as grounded
as you can be. So I went to four or
five sessions to make sure that I was okay. Because
my personal struggle was dealing with the actual surgery. I
didn't really care too much about the aftermath or anything,
because in my head, the immediate thing was the surgery,
(08:16):
So I needed to kind of get that fear out
of the way. And now that I look back on it,
easiest thing of done absolutely the anticipation because you have
absolutely no idea, it's so out of your control. You
don't know how your body's going to react. And then
the aftermath of it all completely fine.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
As a psychologist, Anita, you must deal with people throughout
your career who have completely rational fears about the unknown.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
M m oh. Absolutely, And it was it was really
I just got a little little moment of isn't that lovely?
That's a professional pride, Yeah, professional pride that we can
be part of that process, that that it is figuring
out what is what it is for you? Because yeah,
because it could have been it could have been the operation,
but it also could have been worry about you know,
(09:10):
what's going to happen, and you know there could be
you know, a thousand things, but just that ability to
go and kind of say, what is it for you, jess,
what is the thing that is exactly is making you
loose sleep night?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And the psychiatrist was great. He touched on those things
as well. He's like, you worried more so about the
ramifications of the medication. You're going to be afterwards. Are
you worried about how you're going to handle the isolation
of three months of being a very social person and
not seeing something. And I was like, at the moment,
this is my fear. I need you to help me
work through this. Let's bench the rest of it, because
otherwise it's just too much on my plate for now.
(09:42):
So I can only deal with what's immediately in front of.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Chan, So one step at a time exactly, Otherwise.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
It's too overwhelming. I've learnt to let everything live at
surface level for this. Otherwise, if you really dive into it,
a spiral.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And is that new for you to think like that?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Oh, it's lately changed my perception of everything. I no
longer am a very stressed person. I'm very relaxed because
in my head, I'm like, if I can get through that,
which was hell, I can do anything. And I the
way that I learned to navigate that was for me
step by step. I disassociate if too many people try
(10:19):
and overload me with information, because I was like, I
can't handle that, So let's walk me through this step
by step. And that's what I do. In my day
to day life as well, so less stress. It's not
the end of the world trying not to put your
energy into everything.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And Mel how about you have you do you approach
things differently now.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
I'd say it was completely opposite, you know, going through
so I was, you know, I have to know everything
about everything. How's this going to work, how's that going
to work, who's going to do what? What if this
goes wrong? What if that goes wrong?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
How the doctors respond to that?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Fantastic?
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And I have to say the teams were I think
actually liked being asked questions because I think a lot
of times people just stand there and go, okay, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I said, what about this, I've read this, I've read that,
I've done that, and they were great.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
So every meeting that I had with my team, because
we had two separate teams, was always, you know, forty
minutes to an hour, so there was never like you're
in and out you'll be fine, you know. It was
they really took the time to explain everything, and I
guess they sort of really put my mind at ease
because my biggest fear was I wasn't too worried about me.
(11:31):
I thought that'd be fine, but what if it doesn't work?
You know, what if they they give Jessica the kidney
and it just goes no, I'm tapping out, you know
what happens? Then no, there is no plane B you know,
So how.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Did they had they navigate that with you? Because how
did they make that better?
Speaker 7 (11:49):
Well?
Speaker 3 (11:49):
They were good.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
They weren't dismissive, you know, they weren't going, oh, you'll
be right, you know, everything like that. They did all
the science behind it, you know, and particularly the surgeon,
he was fantastic. He said, totally realistic fear, you know,
And he said, so let's go through it. Let's look
at the numbers, let's you know, because he sort of said,
math doesn't lie, science doesn't lie.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
So let's have a look.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
And at the end of it, he said, there's no
actual reason that it won't work. I can guarantee you
it'll start working on the table.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
And it did.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So was there a lot of given that your husband's
truspunts for how long ago? Oh, twenty five years twenty
five years ago? Was a lot of your questions and
your concerns based on what the technology was back then
versus now? Yes, yeah, I can imagine that that would
be a lot of that was then this is now
(12:40):
kind of responses to you.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Dramatically different. The surgery is dramatically different. It's nowhere near
as invasive.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You know, for either of you.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No, no, I mean it's a big surgery for both.
But mine was laparoscopic.
Speaker 6 (12:55):
And then you have a little scar like a Caesar scar,
but a tiny one, and that's it. And I can
honestly say getting my appendix out was worse. I didn't
find it bad at all, and the care afterwards was exceptional.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So you made me laugh when you said you walked
into the surgical room whatever that room's caught what's it
called surgery? I'm getting, don't tell me how it ends?
And you saw an eskie in the court.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I saw one of those organ escies, and I think
I said to the nurse, oh, someone you know, is
that an organ thing? And she said, yes, you.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Haven't understood the procedures, have you.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Let's just run through that one more.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Time, so you have separate teams and on the day
you're stitched up, you're fine. Just your chemistry and everything
(14:00):
I imagine was micro managed from that minute.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
To a millisecond, and that's why you go on dialysis
as well, is because my body is completely full of
toxins because nothing's working. So the process of that is
to try and get everything out. And then pretty much
the month in the lead up to the transplant, I
was managed by my neurologist who's my Gidney specialists within
an inch of my life. Any I did a blood
(14:23):
test maybe every second day or so, just to make
sure any changes. It's everything down to like how much
potassium you have, how much phosphate because all of this
then interacts with the anesthetic that you go wonder So
it's a real chemical nightmare essentially.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Because you weren't aware that your insides weren't working.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
Absolutely not. I was fine to what I thought, I
was fine, But yeah, I was completely managed within an
inch of my life. And then Mum went in for
the procedure. Once she was done in the morning, the nurses.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Came, well wake, I mean, did you know? Okay? Now
they beat me down.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Yeah, luxury that bucket again?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So did you did you hear? Okay? Mum's bits done?
Like were you compassed for that stuff?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
So.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I was admitted the night before hospital, so I dialized
the night before in hospital. Mum was admitted. The next
morning she completed her surgery, and then the team came
up and said, right, Mum's done's your turn, and then
off I went.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And what was that moment for you? Given that that
was your peak fear, how was that moment?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
God?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I just completely disassociated. I was just like, oh gosh,
I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I have to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I have to do it.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
So, yeah, you're completely sober and so alert for it.
So it's just it's a very humbling experience, and but
you kind of have to zone in and.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
What do you mean by humbling.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
It's just very confrontational, and you feel extremely vulnerable because
you're like, this is it? Like I have no control
over how the next six hours go. For all I knew,
I was like, this is my worst fear coming to life,
Like this could be it. That's where my head went.
And I was like, Okay, well I've that's all I
can do.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I've had a rich and beauty life, freight life.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Ieurally that the surgeon had a really nice sleep and.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Exactly hope everyone's arrested real caffeinated, but no, it was great.
And then I got down to theater, and everyone was
extremely reassuring, and my surgeon was great as well, so
she was with me through the whole process, continue to
check on me post off as well, so I could
only do what I could do.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I saw you, probably it was a week later or something,
and you looked amazing. I hadn't you felt, so you
felt better than you had been the previous year.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Probably the previous five years. I'd just been masking how
I felt. I realized I felt quite mediocre for the
last five years, probably since I was like twenty five,
twenty six. And within a week I was like, I
get it, Like I'm full of energy. My skin completely
cleared out, my eyes were white as anything, and I
(17:06):
was like, I'm good to go. I feel amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
This is insane, but a lot of planets had to
align for you to be in the right place at
the right time for your body to fall apart. You'd
been living overseas.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Absolutely living overseas. The month before I was diagnosed, I
was in the States for four weeks, so you can
only imagine if something happened over there, I'd just be
game over.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Our parents wouldn't have paid for that. Now. Emotionally, you know,
as you said, it's your daughter, your hands up, let
it be me. But what has that ride been like?
Has it been hard to be selfless? No?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
No, it hasn't been hard.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
And I guess being hyper vigilant, I just wanted to
get it done, you know. And they kept saying to me,
it's happening as quick as we can go, like and
when I look back and I, you know, talk to
other people and they go, yeah, it took eight eight
months for the test, and go, oh, okay, so four
months I should just shut up.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
But afterwards they were great.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
They sort of said to me when I woke up,
they sort of said, don't try and get out of bed,
don't try and go and see her. Your bit's done.
We're going to look after you. We'll let you know what's.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Happening, right, And they were fantastic.
Speaker 6 (18:19):
They came in every hour, Jess is doing this, just
doing this, he's or own numbers, you know, so they
really tapped into that.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
So emotion tapped into that.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You'd want to see how she was.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, yeah, so she came down to see me, so
that was good.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Two days later, two days.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
Later, yeah, so yeah, I think afterwards it's it's a weird.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Kind of feeling, you know. I don't quite know how
to describe it.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
You I'm still anxious that maybe something will go wrong.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
And again they still.
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Soay, it doesn't matter if you mean, for Jess, Yeah, yeah,
I feel fine, you know, and I actually feel great,
you know, and except for the tiredness. But yeah, anxious
that maybe something might go wrong. And as they sort
of say to me, well, we can fix it if
it does, so it doesn't matter, you know. So and
(19:11):
they said, and if something happens, you can't do anything
about that.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So you've got to let that go and just trust
the process. So that's been tricky.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
But because you're not the sort of person that can
relax and trust the process, you've always set the process.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, but not being a doctor, I thought.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Maybe I should let them.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Have a go.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
You've come a long long has there has there been
for either of you moments of of reprieve of this
is over. There's there's lots of next steps. They'll come
and they'll be fine, like everything will be okay, where
you can just kind of let go and just sit
(19:57):
in the I don't even know, in the gratitude of
the moment, of that's done. I'm here, I'm healthy, I'm.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Absolutely I mean my sister said to me yesterday, she say,
do you feel like you have your life back?
Speaker 5 (20:07):
And I was like, you have no idea. The last
like ten months has been literal hell.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
I've been locked in a house pretty much, hooked up
to a machine. Yeah, and a dungeon yum, hooked up
to a machine for ten hours a day. Like I
everything I ate was completely monetarized, like its just I
had no freedom. I was completely attached to this machine.
So the second it was done, even like the twenty
(20:35):
four hours afterwards, I was like, oh my god, I
don't have to do dialysis. This is wild, this is insane.
That was the gratitude that I took from it, because
I was like, I don't know how.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
People do this for years.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
It's as much as you do have your life, it's
completely debilitating and it dictates your whole life. So to
now have the freedom back, like I went to dinner
for the first time in a year the night, Like
little things like that was a huge, huge win for me.
So it's just these little things that I take for granted,
we'll took for granted.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Well, how do you feel about people who go through
this for people who aren't even necessarily their family.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
As in donors, do you Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:17):
It was, as I said to you before, I have
a friend who donated to another friend, not even a
good friend, just really like a work acquaintance. And he
sort of said to me afterwards, you know, he just
felt it was the right thing to do. And personally,
how I feel is that I feel that we've got
our lives back, you know, and I feel that things
(21:40):
are starting to get back to normal. It'll never be
exactly the same, but it's almost, you know. And I guess,
you know, when I woke up, I wrote down stuff
in the hospital because I thought I might forget it all.
And it's something that if I could, I would do again,
you know. And I think and the same with my
(22:00):
friends that have done it. They said, yeah, I wish
I could do it again because you feel good afterwards,
but you you also you're mourning the loss of something
as well, and you're not quite sure what that is.
And as the surgeon said to me, it's messes with
your head a bit. And he said, even as a
surgeon and a medical team, you're not meant to take
out things that are working perfectly. Well, that's that goes
(22:23):
against everything. So he said, there's that psychological thing and
that can make it quite draining, you know.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
So I think, I don't know if this is really
answering your question.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
You answer whatever you'd like, Okay.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
So I think sort of the first month, which is
she's monitored every day the first month, and you know,
they're tweaking things and into the hospital every day, you know,
and all that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
There's still a lot of stuff.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
But now she's like it once a week into the hospital.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Now how many months post operations?
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Just about to hit three months?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
That's amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
So yeah, it's I said, I don't think I'm really
answering your question, but.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
You would you you you can understand why people would
do it for people that don't know or people that
aren't their family.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, I can.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
I can, and and it's really I guess if I
had a message, it would be it's nowhere near as
bad as you think it's going to be. The operation
itself is it's nothing, you know, pain wise, there was none.
The only sort of pain you feel tight, that's all,
you know, Like we've done lots of sit ups, you know, yeah,
(23:37):
neither do. I read that your stomach can. The only
pain for me was shoulder pain. And that's very common
because the gas they put in you to blow you
up for some reason, I thought it'd come out somewhere else,
but it tends to travel to your shoulders and so
and that's quite painful, you know. So when they give
(23:58):
you all the pain relief, it's really for you shoulder,
not for anything else, which is weird.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And that does last a couple of weeks, you know,
on and off.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
But just you're embarking on a are you running, walking, cycling?
What is it you're doing?
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Yes, absolutely none of those things. And this month, October
is the Red Sox Month Run. So Kidney Health Australia
pretty much put on this run every month and it's
purely just to promote awareness of the disease and they've
attached doing a Red Sox run to it. So the
aim of the game is to run or walk or
(24:34):
cycle sixty kilometers within the month, which is supposed to
represent the sixty hours a month people spent on dialysis.
I have taken upon myself to run three hundred kilometers
with some of my friends because that represents the three
hundred hours I spent on dialysis each month.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I've sponsored my hands out, thank you so much. And
people do want to sponsor or donate, what do they do.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I've got a link that I can send on our
socials people, and it's a great it's a great cause
as well. You can see people around Australia have got
teams renal units are doing it as well, and it's
purely just to raise awareness and to hopefully travel virtually
to all of the dialysis units in Australia. But each
anytime someone fundraises, it allows for people to hop on
(25:22):
like this red bus that they've got going around so
they can dialize remotely, puts accommodation up for people who
are traveling rually into the hospital, so post transplant as well,
when they're traveling in every single day for like six
seven weeks. So it's a great little cause and it's
just raising awareness, which is the main end of the game.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And what was the name you've used? I love it,
just can't remember.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
I can't remember, just keeping it renal, just keeping it.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
What was the name you've chosen?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I've gone with a little bit of a punny name,
so it's just keeping it renal, keeping it renal, really
leaning into it very nice.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So if we were to speak to you in a year,
what are you hoping? You'd be saying that If this
question means nothing, let it go. But is this something
you hope where you'll be in a year.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I just hope I'm like make it through these little
hiccups because I think the first three months and the
first year is really like a trial and tribulation of everything.
So it's a lot of tweaking of everything. So I
think once you hit that year mark, you pretty much
on the home stretch. But it also opens more doors
for me as well, so I can start traveling again.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
That's probably my biggest thing. Travel insurance after.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
You so you have to wait a year, but then
it's back to normal.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
And then it's back to normal, so it opens up
more doors after a year or so. So I think
that's my little goal. Obviously not going to do like
a six week Europe extravaganza, but maybe I can still
pop overseas and that just gives me my freedom back
as well because travel is so important to me.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
So that's probably my goal.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
After the year that email, I think I'll just be
relieved after the year, you know, and we can also
get our lives back as well, because every everything's put
on hold. And my other daughter came back from interrupted
her trip, came back from Europe, so she's now settled
back here, decided not to go back, so then she's
starting now to get back into her.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Life and go back to work and all that sort
of things. So it's been a big thing for everybody.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
So I think it would just be nice to be normal,
you know, and do the normal things like go to
a restaurant, you know, and to be able to travel
and just just be normal, I guess, as opposed to
being literally all of us were locked in the house
because we're also terrified we were going to get something
and then she would get sick and then to be
pushed and you know, all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So well, so this New Year's Eve, it was last
New Year's Eve where it all fell apart, wasn't this
New's Eve? What will you be doing?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Still not hitting the crowds.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
But what a year to reflect on?
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Absolutely, Yeah, so grateful, grateful that it all went well and.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Has it just has it you know, thinking about you know,
when when you're young. You have these, you know, you know,
I love to travel.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Has it changed your values or has it just solidified
the things that you thought that you loved? No, I
really really do.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
I think it's definitely solidified things, especially my love for travel,
my love for going out and trying new restaurants. I've
pretty much tried every hobby under the sun, and I've
discovered that I'm extremely mediocre a lot of.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Things, so she is.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
So it's really solidified that I'm amazing at eating, drinking,
and traveling, you know, exactly. So it's really made me
appreciate it exactly, like Mum said, taking for granted, going
for dinner, going for a coffee, I'm slowly getting back
out there and things like that, and then the ability
to get back on a plane, and then they're kind
of my core values, if you will. So yeah, it's
(29:04):
definitely solidified everything for me, this whole process.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Lovely.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Just before we go, Jess, what were the hobbies that
you tried you're in isolation.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Didn't I try?
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I tried sewing, I tried knitting, I tried coloring. I
tried painting, which was extremely fun because one of the
drugs I'm on gives me the shakes a little bit,
so it just really amped up the frustration that I'm
very not good at this.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Man. I think there's an exhibition on its way.
Speaker 6 (29:29):
Absolutely a paper numbers, you know, and we were trying
to help and say, I think you've gone out of
the line.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
It's three abstract.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I want to see pictures.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Well, we will put up all the details. Jess for
keeping it real and look, I look forward to our
lives being intertwined for a gazillion more years, and probably
as of next weekend we'll be seeing you again. But
thanks for coming in and sharing story.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Well, well, what an amazing thing that conversation was. I
absolutely loved it. Let's get to Uglymas. Do you want
to go first?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I'm going to go first. Okay, I've already shared the
news with you, Amanda, and I will be asking that forevermore.
You now will call me ass pro Can I just
stop it? Ass I knew you would.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
This is great news. Tell us what ask pro is?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
So I just received a promotion to associate professor.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Congratulations, Thank you very much. Tell me in the context
of academia and your work, what does it mean.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, I still do exactly the same work. It's the
title is basically in recognition for the teaching, the research,
the work that I the leadership work that I've done
over the past five years, and so it all kind
of comes together. In January, I will have the title
of associate professor.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And does it come at the end of your name
and Aida McGregor as pro or when we're talking about
you associate professor Nida McGregor. Which way?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Either way, I will be really really happy. I don't mind.
It was a really grueling process to go through. The
application process.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It was I won the bikini section.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
I did. I did it, and I was miss Congeniality,
I think nut.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
But it was really it.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Was a really intriguing process to go through. I just
found out a week or so ago, and it's just
it's just a really lovely recognition and it just it feels, yeah,
it feels quite lovely. It's a great glimmer, very nice,
and thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
What's yours? My glimmer is almost as important and almost
as impressive.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
IM sure it is.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I'm filming the second season of The Piano at the moment,
and once again, what a beautiful show that is everyone's stories,
everyone who's watching the piano. What's different this time around
is that everyone knows the show, and that seems unusual
to me because it's an ABC show. But everyone seems
to have had some connection to it. So people who were
standing around a public piano say, is this the piano?
(32:17):
The piano is now the star, which is lovely. We're filming.
I won't say where, but we're filming in a public
place because I don't how much about the show I'm
allowed to speak about. But I was wearing an outfit
that had been picked by a stylist. You know, it's
not just me going oh what have I got? This
will do? And I had the shirt. Well, i'll tell
you what I was wearing after I give you the
(32:37):
comment that I heard this man in the crowd who's
probably in his sixties. He certainly wasn't sutorially gifted himself.
He said, Amanda, his shirt's tucked in, and I had
to say, do you mind this is a French tuck?
Have you not heard of the French tuck? And he
can you believe it? He hadn't heard of the French Tuckanita,
(32:58):
where you tuck out front of one half of the
top end and the other just hangs down. He hadn't
even heard of it.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I know, like when I first started seeing it, I
thought it was like people like leaving the bathroom with
you know something.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
How's he thought it happened. He thought I was standing
in front of eight cameras and eighteen producers and eighteen
wardrobe assistance, and that no one had noticed but him.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
He was saving you from yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Afterwards, I wish he'd mentioned the parsley on my teeth,
but still that's also very French.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
I'll be looking for that on that episode.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
You'll see it. Well. Lots of love to you, and
lots of love to everybody. If you'd like to comment
on anything we've been talking about, please let us love yea,
yea
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.