August 5, 2024 • 12 mins
Amy from Melbourne has been trying to boost her families wellbeing, and while she's been doing all of the tried and traditional methods, she is wondering what the benefits of indoor plants are for her family.
Jenny from West Australia is seeking some advice around grandparents looking after her three year old, despite some of their parenting styles being quite different to hers.
Related links:
- Check out our recent From the Doctor's Desk episode - #1036 Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good
- What to Do When Parents and Grandparents Disagree [Article]
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
once answers.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Now, Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the Happy Families podcast.
This is where we answer your questions. If you would
like to submit a question, Because family life can be
a little bit tricky, sometimes it's super easy. Just go
to happy families dot com dot you happy families dot
(00:29):
com dot you, scroll down until you get to the
part where we have the podcasts and click the button
start talking. Job done always helps if you write it out,
it helps you to be a bit clearer in what
you're asking. Happy families dot com dot you scroll down
to where it says podcasts, click the button start talking.
It's that simple. Today in the podcast, we're talking about
(00:50):
how to beautify your inner space and why it makes
a difference for your family's happiness. We're also talking about
grandparents being a little bit traditional and doing things their
way when they're looking after the kids. Here we go
a question number one.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hi Justin and Kylie Aimy from Melbourne. Here. I've been
trying to boost mine and my families well being lately,
and while I'm doing lots of the common things like exercise, nutrition,
fresh air, etc. I've been seeing a lot of posts
online about the benefits of having indoor plants around the
home in the workplace. I'm wondering if there's any science
(01:25):
back to research on the effect of indoor plants on
kids in families and moo sleep productivity, or even just
air quality that would help my family. Thanks.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Amy, love the question. In some ways, it's one of
those low stakes kinds of questions. The reason I say
that is because when it comes to well being, while
I don't have any solid data that I can lean
on to point to what percentage of variability of well
being is supported by having indoor plants, we know that
there are other things that make a much, much bigger
(01:57):
difference in your children's and your own well being. So
you've touched on a few things you've highlighted exercise, nutrition,
fresh air. These are vital. I mean, the more time
your kids are spending in nature, nature is fuel for
the soul. The more time they can spend building relationships
with meaningful people in their lives, the better it is.
And they're the things that I'd be really emphasizing first
(02:17):
if I wanted to make a big difference in my
family as well being. It's not that having a beautiful
indoor environment doesn't matter. Of course it does, and it
does contribute to well being and happiness and lifting low mood.
But these other things will generally have a much greater
impact on well being. So I'd be focusing primarily on
the kids having fun, both indoors and outdoors, with a
(02:41):
maximal reduction of screen time and screen activity where possible,
without becoming fanatical about it, because sometimes sometimes screensren't that
big of a deal. When I wrote ten Things Every
Parent Needs to Know, I think it's not about page
one hundred and ten hundred and twelve. Somewhere in there,
I've got this list. We're actually we're using this list
in home at the moment because I've become a little
(03:02):
bit excessively militant about screens in our house as we've
pulled out the book. And there's a list, and it
basically says, have you played outside, spent time with a friend,
cleaned your bedroom, done your chores, done your art or
music or whatever it is that your extracurricular activity is
supposed to be. Have you done all these other high
value activities? If you've done all those things, you know
(03:25):
what fill your boots get on the screen, you'll be fine.
I have to acknowledge there's nothing on that piece of
paper that points us to have you stared at greenery
with the indoor plant in the corner of your room.
Maybe we should have put that there. I don't think
that there's that level of value though. The value is
in risky play, doing hard things, physical activity, being outside
(03:48):
the house, staring at clouds and trying to use your
mind to explode the clouds. Once we're at that level
and we're doing those things, then yes, small boosts diminishing returns,
I think, but small boosts to well being. What you
really do this for is because it feels really nice
to have nice stuff in your house, nice artwork, plenty
of greenery. A couple of weeks ago on the Happy
(04:11):
Families podcast when we did a doctor's Desk episode which
we will link to in the show notes, I did
emphasize some research highlights that having greenery, whether it's inside
or outside, will make a difference for your wellbeing. There
is science there. It does support it. Again, when you
partial out the variance that it's contributing to the overall
(04:32):
sum of well being, I would imagine that it's fairly small,
but it is measurable, it is statistically significant. It does
make a difference. And you know what, it doesn't even
have to be a plant. When I was doing the
research around this, I found a couple of studies that
highlighted that even having pictures on the wall, or having
a beautified screen saver of lots of greenery, even that
(04:53):
can make a difference. So Amy, short answer, fill your boots,
make your indoor spaces as green and beautiful as you want. Obviously,
don't spill water all over the car, but that's not
going to do anything for your happiness and well being,
and it'll stink. But I mean, this is a great idea.
It's a great idea to invest in making indoors beautiful
because we do spend a lot of time there with
(05:14):
whether we like it or not. Amy, thanks so much
for the question. Up next, we talk about grandparents doing
things well in the way that we don't like them
doing it when they're looking after our kids. Okay, question
number two all about grandparents from Jenny.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Hey, my name is Jenny and I'm in wa and
we love them advice. I have a three year old
and a newborn. I would love to have my parents
look after my three one to two days a week
so I can spend one on one time with the baby.
What's our parents love the kids and have good intentions.
They're very set on traditional parenting style, for example, using
(05:53):
barratal scare tactics to get those and behaviors, Discourage physical
play in fear of him getting hurt, telling him how
to pay rather than being Childotte that you have a
good relationship with him, but I'm concerned spent in vain
with them, will I get my efforts in trying to
build his confidence? He's already quite a cautious one. Should
I keep him with me or let him be with
(06:15):
grandparents going to two days a week? Thanks for your help.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Jenny from WA. Thank you so much for your question.
For me, this is a no brainer so long as
your grandparents are safe. That is, so long as your
children are not in any genuine danger of any kind.
I just think the more time your kids can spend
with them, the better. Yes, they have traditional approaches to parenting.
Yes they're different to your approaches to parenting, but I
don't think that that matters in the slightest. You are
(06:40):
the primary parent. You're the primary caregiver, You're the primary
influencing children's lives. And grandparents love their grandkids unconditionally. It's
just so delightful to watch them spending time with them.
And Australian Institute of Family Studies research report that was
published just over two years ago showed this two and
five grandparents in Australia the grandchild under thirteen years of age,
(07:02):
So definitely in your demo, Jennie, we're talking about a
three year old, we're providing some childcare. The proportion providing
childcare was higher if the youngest grandchild was under ten
years rather than ten to twelve years. Okay, so it
was sixty three percent if the youngest grandchild was under
ten years, it was only thirty three percent. Once that
kid I got to ten to twelve years. Just over
(07:24):
one in four grandparents with the grandchild under thirteen was
providing childcare at least once a week. More frequent childcare
more likely for younger children. No surprises there. They also
found that grandparent childcare is more often on a casual
or occasional basis, Around about sixty two percent of grandparent
childcare comes in there compared to regular childcare thirty nine percent,
(07:45):
our school holiday care which was twenty six percent, about
one in five. Grandparents provide a combination of these, like
providing school holiday childcare as well as the occasional childcare.
And last, but perhaps most important of all, most often,
grandparents provide child care to support parents work. Grandparents desire
to connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was
(08:06):
fundamental to them taking on this childcare. Two things that
I want to draw out of that last statement. Number one,
grandparents provide childcare to support parents work most often, Jenny,
You're in a wonderful position where you just want to
spend time with your kid, oh, your brand new baby,
and therefore grandparents are stepping in to provide you with
that support. That's a really wonderful and maybe even slightly
(08:27):
privileged place to be. Take it, go with it, except
the privilege. It's brilliant. But the thing that I really
want to zero in on is this grandparents desire to
connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was fundamental
to them taking on this childcare. Here's the thing. Grandparents
don't need to do this. They've already raised their kids,
they've got their retirement in front of them. They've got
(08:48):
the money that they need, they've got the time they
need to do the stuff that they want to do,
and they're saying, I want to do this. I want
to build my relationship with my grandkids. I want to
support my own children because I love them. The unconditional
acceptance that grandparents show towards grandchildren is a reflection of
the love that they have for their children. But sometimes
(09:10):
they didn't quite show it the right way. Now, every
now and again, those grandparents are going to do things that.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
We don't like, Like sometimes it really ticks us off
because they feed them sugary treats or they literally have
a disciplinary approach that is counter to what we're trying
to create in our own home.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I haven't found any evidence to indicate that there are
any negative effects on the grandkids from this happening. I've
only found positive effects of strong grandparent grandchild relationships. My
short advice is this, be grateful. The stakes are low here,
be grateful. The benefits are enormous for them, for your children,
(09:53):
and for you. Let me go through a list of
benefits real quick. I did some scouting around and some
researching into the papers, and here's what I found. Number One,
grandparents feel young again. This is so good for them.
Increased mental well being and socialization for who. For the grandparents,
they have lower rates of depression and a more vigorous lifestyle. Plus,
(10:15):
grandparents emotional support can significantly impact their grandchildren's mental health.
This is so valuable for them. Grandparents can be great teachers.
Grandparents can have the opportunity to share their values, like
the importance of I don't know, getting a good education,
or she'll be right made, just get up and have
another go. There's so many teaching opportunities. Grandchildren keep grandparents strong.
(10:39):
Grandparents get to strengthen bonds. There's physical and emotional support.
There's the legacy creation. There's grandparents who are just helping out,
making your life easier. There is a level of unconditionality,
and I've experienced this with my own granddaughter. There is
a level of unconditionality that grandparents feel towards their grandchildren.
That is I don't know how to describe it. It
just changes you are. Research shows grandparents who are actively
(11:02):
involved in their children's lives live five years longer than
those who never babysit. I mean, this is this is
so so valuable. Please, please, please, don't worry about the
little things. They are little, they really are. Get the
kids involved with them. This childcare option makes your life easier,
it gives them a better lifestyle. It's good for the grandkids.
It's an easy yes from me. Just say yes, Jenny.
(11:27):
I hope that answers your question emphatically. If you would
like to submit a question, if you'd like to know
more about how you can make your family happier, just
jump onto Happy Families dot com dot you. Scroll down
until you get to the podcast's position, press the record button.
Leave your message more than happy to answer it. Love
answering your questions every Tuesday on the Happy Families podcast.
(11:47):
The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roland from
Bridge Media. For more information about making your family happier,
you'll get the best info, the highest class, highest value
impact via our Happy Families membership. Resources for you, resources
for the kids. It's all their Happy families dot com
dot U. Check out our memberships today
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
once answers.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Now, Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the Happy Families podcast.
This is where we answer your questions. If you would
like to submit a question, Because family life can be
a little bit tricky, sometimes it's super easy. Just go
to happy families dot com dot you happy families dot
(00:29):
com dot you, scroll down until you get to the
part where we have the podcasts and click the button
start talking. Job done always helps if you write it out,
it helps you to be a bit clearer in what
you're asking. Happy families dot com dot you scroll down
to where it says podcasts, click the button start talking.
It's that simple. Today in the podcast, we're talking about
(00:50):
how to beautify your inner space and why it makes
a difference for your family's happiness. We're also talking about
grandparents being a little bit traditional and doing things their
way when they're looking after the kids. Here we go
a question number one.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hi Justin and Kylie Aimy from Melbourne. Here. I've been
trying to boost mine and my families well being lately,
and while I'm doing lots of the common things like exercise, nutrition,
fresh air, etc. I've been seeing a lot of posts
online about the benefits of having indoor plants around the
home in the workplace. I'm wondering if there's any science
(01:25):
back to research on the effect of indoor plants on
kids in families and moo sleep productivity, or even just
air quality that would help my family. Thanks.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Amy, love the question. In some ways, it's one of
those low stakes kinds of questions. The reason I say
that is because when it comes to well being, while
I don't have any solid data that I can lean
on to point to what percentage of variability of well
being is supported by having indoor plants, we know that
there are other things that make a much, much bigger
(01:57):
difference in your children's and your own well being. So
you've touched on a few things you've highlighted exercise, nutrition,
fresh air. These are vital. I mean, the more time
your kids are spending in nature, nature is fuel for
the soul. The more time they can spend building relationships
with meaningful people in their lives, the better it is.
And they're the things that I'd be really emphasizing first
(02:17):
if I wanted to make a big difference in my
family as well being. It's not that having a beautiful
indoor environment doesn't matter. Of course it does, and it
does contribute to well being and happiness and lifting low mood.
But these other things will generally have a much greater
impact on well being. So I'd be focusing primarily on
the kids having fun, both indoors and outdoors, with a
(02:41):
maximal reduction of screen time and screen activity where possible,
without becoming fanatical about it, because sometimes sometimes screensren't that
big of a deal. When I wrote ten Things Every
Parent Needs to Know, I think it's not about page
one hundred and ten hundred and twelve. Somewhere in there,
I've got this list. We're actually we're using this list
in home at the moment because I've become a little
(03:02):
bit excessively militant about screens in our house as we've
pulled out the book. And there's a list, and it
basically says, have you played outside, spent time with a friend,
cleaned your bedroom, done your chores, done your art or
music or whatever it is that your extracurricular activity is
supposed to be. Have you done all these other high
value activities? If you've done all those things, you know
(03:25):
what fill your boots get on the screen, you'll be fine.
I have to acknowledge there's nothing on that piece of
paper that points us to have you stared at greenery
with the indoor plant in the corner of your room.
Maybe we should have put that there. I don't think
that there's that level of value though. The value is
in risky play, doing hard things, physical activity, being outside
(03:48):
the house, staring at clouds and trying to use your
mind to explode the clouds. Once we're at that level
and we're doing those things, then yes, small boosts diminishing returns,
I think, but small boosts to well being. What you
really do this for is because it feels really nice
to have nice stuff in your house, nice artwork, plenty
of greenery. A couple of weeks ago on the Happy
(04:11):
Families podcast when we did a doctor's Desk episode which
we will link to in the show notes, I did
emphasize some research highlights that having greenery, whether it's inside
or outside, will make a difference for your wellbeing. There
is science there. It does support it. Again, when you
partial out the variance that it's contributing to the overall
(04:32):
sum of well being, I would imagine that it's fairly small,
but it is measurable, it is statistically significant. It does
make a difference. And you know what, it doesn't even
have to be a plant. When I was doing the
research around this, I found a couple of studies that
highlighted that even having pictures on the wall, or having
a beautified screen saver of lots of greenery, even that
(04:53):
can make a difference. So Amy, short answer, fill your boots,
make your indoor spaces as green and beautiful as you want. Obviously,
don't spill water all over the car, but that's not
going to do anything for your happiness and well being,
and it'll stink. But I mean, this is a great idea.
It's a great idea to invest in making indoors beautiful
because we do spend a lot of time there with
(05:14):
whether we like it or not. Amy, thanks so much
for the question. Up next, we talk about grandparents doing
things well in the way that we don't like them
doing it when they're looking after our kids. Okay, question
number two all about grandparents from Jenny.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Hey, my name is Jenny and I'm in wa and
we love them advice. I have a three year old
and a newborn. I would love to have my parents
look after my three one to two days a week
so I can spend one on one time with the baby.
What's our parents love the kids and have good intentions.
They're very set on traditional parenting style, for example, using
(05:53):
barratal scare tactics to get those and behaviors, Discourage physical
play in fear of him getting hurt, telling him how
to pay rather than being Childotte that you have a
good relationship with him, but I'm concerned spent in vain
with them, will I get my efforts in trying to
build his confidence? He's already quite a cautious one. Should
I keep him with me or let him be with
(06:15):
grandparents going to two days a week? Thanks for your help.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Jenny from WA. Thank you so much for your question.
For me, this is a no brainer so long as
your grandparents are safe. That is, so long as your
children are not in any genuine danger of any kind.
I just think the more time your kids can spend
with them, the better. Yes, they have traditional approaches to parenting.
Yes they're different to your approaches to parenting, but I
don't think that that matters in the slightest. You are
(06:40):
the primary parent. You're the primary caregiver, You're the primary
influencing children's lives. And grandparents love their grandkids unconditionally. It's
just so delightful to watch them spending time with them.
And Australian Institute of Family Studies research report that was
published just over two years ago showed this two and
five grandparents in Australia the grandchild under thirteen years of age,
(07:02):
So definitely in your demo, Jennie, we're talking about a
three year old, we're providing some childcare. The proportion providing
childcare was higher if the youngest grandchild was under ten
years rather than ten to twelve years. Okay, so it
was sixty three percent if the youngest grandchild was under
ten years, it was only thirty three percent. Once that
kid I got to ten to twelve years. Just over
(07:24):
one in four grandparents with the grandchild under thirteen was
providing childcare at least once a week. More frequent childcare
more likely for younger children. No surprises there. They also
found that grandparent childcare is more often on a casual
or occasional basis, Around about sixty two percent of grandparent
childcare comes in there compared to regular childcare thirty nine percent,
(07:45):
our school holiday care which was twenty six percent, about
one in five. Grandparents provide a combination of these, like
providing school holiday childcare as well as the occasional childcare.
And last, but perhaps most important of all, most often,
grandparents provide child care to support parents work. Grandparents desire
to connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was
(08:06):
fundamental to them taking on this childcare. Two things that
I want to draw out of that last statement. Number one,
grandparents provide childcare to support parents work most often, Jenny,
You're in a wonderful position where you just want to
spend time with your kid, oh, your brand new baby,
and therefore grandparents are stepping in to provide you with
that support. That's a really wonderful and maybe even slightly
(08:27):
privileged place to be. Take it, go with it, except
the privilege. It's brilliant. But the thing that I really
want to zero in on is this grandparents desire to
connect and build relationships with grandchildren and family was fundamental
to them taking on this childcare. Here's the thing. Grandparents
don't need to do this. They've already raised their kids,
they've got their retirement in front of them. They've got
(08:48):
the money that they need, they've got the time they
need to do the stuff that they want to do,
and they're saying, I want to do this. I want
to build my relationship with my grandkids. I want to
support my own children because I love them. The unconditional
acceptance that grandparents show towards grandchildren is a reflection of
the love that they have for their children. But sometimes
(09:10):
they didn't quite show it the right way. Now, every
now and again, those grandparents are going to do things that.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
We don't like, Like sometimes it really ticks us off
because they feed them sugary treats or they literally have
a disciplinary approach that is counter to what we're trying
to create in our own home.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I haven't found any evidence to indicate that there are
any negative effects on the grandkids from this happening. I've
only found positive effects of strong grandparent grandchild relationships. My
short advice is this, be grateful. The stakes are low here,
be grateful. The benefits are enormous for them, for your children,
(09:53):
and for you. Let me go through a list of
benefits real quick. I did some scouting around and some
researching into the papers, and here's what I found. Number One,
grandparents feel young again. This is so good for them.
Increased mental well being and socialization for who. For the grandparents,
they have lower rates of depression and a more vigorous lifestyle. Plus,
(10:15):
grandparents emotional support can significantly impact their grandchildren's mental health.
This is so valuable for them. Grandparents can be great teachers.
Grandparents can have the opportunity to share their values, like
the importance of I don't know, getting a good education,
or she'll be right made, just get up and have
another go. There's so many teaching opportunities. Grandchildren keep grandparents strong.
(10:39):
Grandparents get to strengthen bonds. There's physical and emotional support.
There's the legacy creation. There's grandparents who are just helping out,
making your life easier. There is a level of unconditionality,
and I've experienced this with my own granddaughter. There is
a level of unconditionality that grandparents feel towards their grandchildren.
That is I don't know how to describe it. It
just changes you are. Research shows grandparents who are actively
(11:02):
involved in their children's lives live five years longer than
those who never babysit. I mean, this is this is
so so valuable. Please, please, please, don't worry about the
little things. They are little, they really are. Get the
kids involved with them. This childcare option makes your life easier,
it gives them a better lifestyle. It's good for the grandkids.
It's an easy yes from me. Just say yes, Jenny.
(11:27):
I hope that answers your question emphatically. If you would
like to submit a question, if you'd like to know
more about how you can make your family happier, just
jump onto Happy Families dot com dot you. Scroll down
until you get to the podcast's position, press the record button.
Leave your message more than happy to answer it. Love
answering your questions every Tuesday on the Happy Families podcast.
(11:47):
The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roland from
Bridge Media. For more information about making your family happier,
you'll get the best info, the highest class, highest value
impact via our Happy Families membership. Resources for you, resources
for the kids. It's all their Happy families dot com
dot U. Check out our memberships today
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