February 4, 2025 • 14 mins
Parents have been fighting the wrong battle in the screen time wars—and the most effective solution isn't about apps, contracts, or consequences at all. In this episode, Dr. Brad Marshall shares the surprisingly simple hardware-level intervention that reduced gaming disorder by 60% in just six weeks.
Key Points:
- Managing home WiFi with set limits proved most effective in reducing screen addiction.
- Phone-level controls are second most effective but can be circumvented.
- Bedtime WiFi boundaries show significant impact.
- Traditional methods like contracts and consequences showed less effectiveness.
- Hardware-level solutions outperform software controls.
Quote of the Episode: "What fuels all of these devices and their persuasive design and their addictive nature and their dopamine is the WiFi. We know that for a fact."
Key Insights:
- Start with the strictest parameters when first giving devices.
- Focus on infrastructure control rather than behaviour management.
- Device-specific controls allow age-appropriate flexibility.
- Hardware solutions (like mesh routers) are more effective than software controls.
- Regular parent-child conversations about limits remain important.
Resources Mentioned:
- G-mee Phones
- Mesh router systems
- Dr. Brad Marshall's research paper
- The Unplugged Psychologist website
- Incharge boxes for device storage
Action Steps for Parents:
- Install a mesh router system for device-specific WiFi control.
- Set strict initial parameters when introducing new devices.
- Implement clear bedtime WiFi boundaries.
- Place limits on mobile data plans.
- Have regular conversations about screen time limits.
- Consider hardware solutions like G-Mee phones for younger children.
- Create device-free zones and times in the home.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
An evidence based solution for effectively navigating screen boundaries that
any parent can manage. That's what we're talking about today
on the Happy Families Podcast, with some excerpts from an
interview that I did with doctor Brad Marshall, the Unplugged Psychologist. Hello,
it's good to have you along to the Happy Families Podcast,
Real parenting solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
(00:28):
I'm just on here with Kylie, my wife and mum
to our six kids, and Kylie. A couple of days
ago I had a chat with doctor Brad Marshall. We're
going to play the full interview on Saturday so that
you can hear all the info, but I thought today
we might just have a quick discussion about the things
that he and I talked about from a purely parenting perspective,
because it was a fascinating conversation and there's more that
(00:49):
we can break down. We just we ran out of time.
Doctor Brad Marshall is also known as the Unplugged Psychologist.
We will link to all of his details in the
show notes today and on Saturday. But he's recently published paper.
In that paper, he showed what parental interventions do and
don't work for effective boundary setting with kids and screens.
(01:10):
And I don't know about you, but this is one
of those things where you kind of go, let me
add it. What don't I know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Over the years, we've tried lots of different options, and
I think I think I'm right in saying that the
best one has been literally parental monitoring.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah, And research over the years has emphasized that very
very clearly, if you are involved, then they are less
likely to be on their screens and certainly less likely
to do frustrating or damaging things. When I reflect on so,
our eldest is in him at twenties now, So if
I reflect on the last fifteen years of parenting with her,
all the way down to our youngest, who is about
(01:47):
to turn eleven, and who is incessantly requiring, requesting, demanding,
seeking opportunities to beyond screens, I think that the biggest
challenge that we've faced in our family, the most enduring
and annoying and provocative challenge, has been the issue of screens.
Maybe that's minimizing some of the other big things that
(02:08):
we've dealt with. We've certainly had some really big challenges,
but it's certainly the most enduring issue.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I would agree with you entirely, and I would also
acknowledge that, in spite of each of our girls being
distinctly and uniquely different in every way, shape or form,
we have faced this one challenge over and over again
every time, regardless of their differences.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Digital addiction it's this silent I was going to say
it's a silent epidemic. I think that's understating that. I
think that it's pretty noisy in leaving rooms when parents
are saying, would you get off your screen and do
as you do as you're told. I'm writing this book
about raising boys at the moment, and the number of
parents who have said I just want them to get
off their screen and participate in family life, or get
off their screen and get involved in school life, or
(02:53):
get off their screen and do something.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And hang out with their mates.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah. Like, we're not talking about a fringe problem here.
These screens are just ravaging children's brains. I feel like
it's a full blown psychological assault on families, on kids' psychology,
on their well being, and when it comes to them,
particularly because their brains are in such a sensitive period
internet gaming, internet gaming disorder, smartphone addiction, social media dramas.
(03:19):
Jonathan Hates book The Anctious Generation. This is a conversation
that's so important. Something like ten percent of Australian teams
are getting their dopamine hits cheap, cheap dopamine hits from
their screens instead of life at addictive, compulsive, concerning levels.
It's a total generation of kids being rewired.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
So you hinted before that. Brad's published a paper.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, research paper, peer reviewed, It's in journals now and.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
It's going to give us the golden key. Yes, all
the answers we need and to how we deal with
this challenge with our teenagers.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Five things. He researched five things and looked at how
effective they were in setting boundaries with kids. Number one,
the number one thing, the most effective thing managing the
home Wi Fi with set limits.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What does that actually mean? In real terms?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
That means that you literally set up the Wi Fi
so that the kids can or cannot have access at
certain days, certain times, certain whatever. And it's not that complex.
It's not a particularly hard thing to do. This is
what he had to say about it.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
For setting Wi Fi limits, typically, what I talk about
is using something called a mesh router system. It allows
you to turn on and off certain devices at a
macro level without having to turn the entire Wi Fi
off if you don't want to. What fuels all of
these devices and their persuasive design and their addictive nature
in the dopamine is the Wi Fi. We know that
for a fact. So if the first two steps control
(04:40):
your Wi Fi and control the mobile data actually had
some of the biggest impact that we saw.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I know you said this is really simple, but now
I'm confused. What's a mesh router?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
So the meshrouter system, it's just a form of technology.
I'm not an it guru. I'm not going to explain
it effectively. But we have had them at various times
our homes and it's a way of having the Internet
available in some places but not other places. So that's
an option. There's these things that you can get called
in charge boxes. That's literally you take the device off
(05:11):
your kids, you put them in the box, you lock
it up overnight. There's all sorts of different ways. What
is essentially saying is you control your kids access to
the device at certain times of the day, especially at night.
Time when they're in the bedroom and all of a
sudden you find that they just don't have those problems.
I remember one of our friends, Mark used to go
and collect all of his kids. I think Mark and
Amy they have five kids. I'm pretty sure they had
five children. They were all in their teens or somewhere
(05:34):
around that age. And Mark used to go around with
the big box and pick up all the laptops and
all the tablets and all the phones and put them
in the box, and they just stayed in his bedroom
near his bed. He woke up one morning at two
o'clock he could hear something in the bedroom. Two am.
Open his eyes, looks at the clock. Here's the sound.
Thinks I've got an intruderroom my bedroom. Flicks on the light,
ready to jump at whoever it is that's about to
(05:56):
steal everything from their bedroom. And it's their teenage son Commando,
crawling and his elbows across the carpet to get to
his screen so that he can play Fortnite at two
o'clock in the morning. Like, kids really really want access
to their devices. So, whether you're doing what Brad's studied
or just doing what our friend Mark did, there are
ways that you can control the WiFi, minimize access to
the Wi Fi, and therefore reduce your children's time on screens,
(06:22):
specifically at set times where you know they don't need
to be on their screen.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Like two o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Like two o'clock in the morning. Absolutely, what's number two?
So the second one is aligned with that, and that's
placing limits on the phone, placing limits on the mobile phone.
And that's been typically the route that we've taken. What
I love about this.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Is nothing set in concrete. The restrictions become fluid because
each of our girls needs change from time to time,
and as their relationships have matured and their relationships have
changed with their friends and the way they communicate with them,
sometimes the parental parameters that we've put in place don't
(07:00):
actually work for them anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right, And it's also not fair for the seventeen year
old to have the Wi Fi cut off and for
her to not have access to it because the thirteen
year old isn't allowed to have it. So having those
phone controls can make it can just make it much
more personalized filtering approach when it comes to screen access.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
But what I love about this approach specifically, is that
it requires an adult to adult conversation. It requires a
willingness to sit in hard places and say, hey, Mum,
hey Dad, I'm really struggling at the moment because I
only get fifteen minutes on social media and it's the
only way I get to chat with my friends. And
(07:42):
by the time we've all kind of worked out what
we want to do, my fifteen minutes is up, and
now I don't know where we're meeting or whatever. You know,
Like I just I love that it makes them accountable
where it's going to go next.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And without children, we've sat down with them, maybe on
a Sunday to learn once every three months or every
six months and said, okay, let's go through the screen
time limits. Let's go through the apps that you're allowed
and how long you're allowed to be using them and
all that sort of thing, and we have found that
to be fairly effective. In my interview with Brad, he
pointed out that there are some challenges with this.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Parents that are using parental controls on phones and devices
and apps and games. They're incredibly poor, they're poorly designed.
There's easy ways to get around them, and you know,
we can go into where the tech companies designed them
that way on purpose or not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
We've definitely had that one happen.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Kylie.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You have limits on your phone and you get around them.
Let's be honest. I would never do such a thing.
Oh never, I just don't put limits on my phone.
After the break, we're going to discuss the other three
things that Brad has found can be useful in setting
clear boundaries for screams and kids in your home. Okay, Kylie,
(08:58):
let's hit number three. Setting clear boundary is around Wi
Fi being turned off at bedtime. This was Brad Marshall's
third strategy for managing, reducing, controlling, dealing with the challenges
that screens present in families. Clear boundaries around Wi Fi
being turned off at bedtime.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So this feels a lot like number one. I guess
the only difference is the entire houses Internet has turned
off at a certain timeframe as opposed to individual devices.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, if it's good for the goose, it's good for
the gander. My challenge here, and I discussed this with
Brad a little bit, and obviously i'll replay the whole
in view on Saturday. When I chatted with him about this,
the problem. The real difficult that we've got is that
you turn off the Wi Fi and if you're paying
for your kids phone plan, which many parents are, and
they're just on a regular phone plan rather than a
(09:47):
prepaid with really really tight limits, the kids will just
be like, we'm fine, I'll use my four G, I'll
use my five G. And that becomes a really big
issue now if you've got young children, he recommends, and
I'm with him on the there are phones that are
called the GME phones. A guy that used to be
on Channel nine as a tech expert. His name is
Charlie Brown, literally like the Charlie Brown, that's him. He's
(10:11):
developed this phone called the GME phone, and we'll link
to that in the show notes. I endorse it. I
recommend it. It allows parents to set up all of
the controls that are required in ways that the kids
can't get around them, like the Apple ones or the
Google ones. The kids can jailbreak those. These are good
controls and I recommend that. But ultimately this is essentially
(10:31):
saying you don't need the Wi Fi and all the time,
you don't need to be connected to your phone all
the time. And once again he found that this is effective.
Your note also that it typically, if it's done well,
involves a whole lot of parental involvement and monitoring.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I don't know if this actually comes up in your
interview or not, but I think one of the biggest
strategies for parents is once you gift your child a
phone that you start off from the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
With it is the strictest oneile literally absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Because I think what happens is we all think, oh,
my child, it's not going to be like that. We
have no realization of what this device will actually do
with our child.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
It will absolutely supercharge their brain. It will pull them
in and they are helpless in the face of it.
They simply are helpless, especially once you let them, not
that any parents should, but once you let them go
to roade blocks, Minecraft, Fortnite, social media, Instagram, TikTok, Oh
my goodness. I mean, if there was ever an algorithm
that was addictive, this is the absolute pinnicle of it.
(11:35):
This is the challenge. And that's again why I like
the GM phone. I'm not it's not a sponsored post.
I'm not getting anything out of talk. In fact, I'm
going to get Charlie on the podcast and have a
chat within a couple of weeks because it's so important,
and lots of parents are look at buying their kids
phones right now. You and I recently discussed do we
get our eleven year old I a soon to be
eleven year old a phone. I mean, she's starting to
venture a little bit further afield, she's starting to be
a bit more adventurous and exploratory. Should we get her
(11:56):
a phone? And we don't have a landline in the
house anymore. Soon she'll old enough that we can leave
her in the home for an hour or two if
we want to step out. Should we get her a phone?
We've decided that we're going to go with delayed, delayed, delayed,
delay delay. But eventually she will get a phone, and
it will be one that we can absolutely lock down
with really rock solid parental controls, like the GME phone.
(12:17):
It's just a really useful option.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
What about number four?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay, Number four is drawing up an agreement with your
child about daily screen limits.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I guess that taps in beautifully with what I was saying,
Like from the very beginning, there needs to be an agreement,
and there needs to be some really, really strict parameters,
and then there needs to be accountability because that's actually
probably the missing part correct to everything. We all start
off with this big kind of ideal of what we
want to happen, but then there's no follow through and
(12:46):
our kids work out very quickly that they can push the.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Boundaries spoiler alert. He found that this is not a
particularly effective tool, and research over the I mean, people
have been talking about phone contracts for more than a
decade now, and the re search has consistently shown it's
not particularly effective unless there's a high level of accountability.
And then you've got to make sure you don't sound
like a nag like there's work to be done to
get that right. But that's number four. Number five imploying consequences.
(13:12):
That is, you lose screen time if you break the rules.
Now I'm not big on consequences, as you know, but
in the interview that I have with Brad full replay
on Saturday, we're going to really unpack that and talk
about why this matters and some of the things that
I have to say about this might surprise anyone who's
followed me on Happy Families for any length of time,
because I think he's right in this case.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Well, it sounds like it will be a very informative
interview on Saturday, super practical and for any parent who
has a screen age child in their home, this is
probably one you want to air mark, bookmark whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Maybe even listen to with your kids and listen to
that's on Saturday. The podcast with Dr Brad Marshall The
Unplugged Psychologists will drop then. The Happy Families podcast is
produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. If you'd like
more information and more resources to make your family happier,
please visit us at happyfamilies dot com dot you
An evidence based solution for effectively navigating screen boundaries that
any parent can manage. That's what we're talking about today
on the Happy Families Podcast, with some excerpts from an
interview that I did with doctor Brad Marshall, the Unplugged Psychologist. Hello,
it's good to have you along to the Happy Families Podcast,
Real parenting solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
(00:28):
I'm just on here with Kylie, my wife and mum
to our six kids, and Kylie. A couple of days
ago I had a chat with doctor Brad Marshall. We're
going to play the full interview on Saturday so that
you can hear all the info, but I thought today
we might just have a quick discussion about the things
that he and I talked about from a purely parenting perspective,
because it was a fascinating conversation and there's more that
(00:49):
we can break down. We just we ran out of time.
Doctor Brad Marshall is also known as the Unplugged Psychologist.
We will link to all of his details in the
show notes today and on Saturday. But he's recently published paper.
In that paper, he showed what parental interventions do and
don't work for effective boundary setting with kids and screens.
(01:10):
And I don't know about you, but this is one
of those things where you kind of go, let me
add it. What don't I know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Over the years, we've tried lots of different options, and
I think I think I'm right in saying that the
best one has been literally parental monitoring.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah, And research over the years has emphasized that very
very clearly, if you are involved, then they are less
likely to be on their screens and certainly less likely
to do frustrating or damaging things. When I reflect on so,
our eldest is in him at twenties now, So if
I reflect on the last fifteen years of parenting with her,
all the way down to our youngest, who is about
(01:47):
to turn eleven, and who is incessantly requiring, requesting, demanding,
seeking opportunities to beyond screens, I think that the biggest
challenge that we've faced in our family, the most enduring
and annoying and provocative challenge, has been the issue of screens.
Maybe that's minimizing some of the other big things that
(02:08):
we've dealt with. We've certainly had some really big challenges,
but it's certainly the most enduring issue.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I would agree with you entirely, and I would also
acknowledge that, in spite of each of our girls being
distinctly and uniquely different in every way, shape or form,
we have faced this one challenge over and over again
every time, regardless of their differences.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Digital addiction it's this silent I was going to say
it's a silent epidemic. I think that's understating that. I
think that it's pretty noisy in leaving rooms when parents
are saying, would you get off your screen and do
as you do as you're told. I'm writing this book
about raising boys at the moment, and the number of
parents who have said I just want them to get
off their screen and participate in family life, or get
off their screen and get involved in school life, or
(02:53):
get off their screen and do something.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And hang out with their mates.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah. Like, we're not talking about a fringe problem here.
These screens are just ravaging children's brains. I feel like
it's a full blown psychological assault on families, on kids' psychology,
on their well being, and when it comes to them,
particularly because their brains are in such a sensitive period
internet gaming, internet gaming disorder, smartphone addiction, social media dramas.
(03:19):
Jonathan Hates book The Anctious Generation. This is a conversation
that's so important. Something like ten percent of Australian teams
are getting their dopamine hits cheap, cheap dopamine hits from
their screens instead of life at addictive, compulsive, concerning levels.
It's a total generation of kids being rewired.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
So you hinted before that. Brad's published a paper.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, research paper, peer reviewed, It's in journals now and.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
It's going to give us the golden key. Yes, all
the answers we need and to how we deal with
this challenge with our teenagers.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Five things. He researched five things and looked at how
effective they were in setting boundaries with kids. Number one,
the number one thing, the most effective thing managing the
home Wi Fi with set limits.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What does that actually mean? In real terms?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
That means that you literally set up the Wi Fi
so that the kids can or cannot have access at
certain days, certain times, certain whatever. And it's not that complex.
It's not a particularly hard thing to do. This is
what he had to say about it.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
For setting Wi Fi limits, typically, what I talk about
is using something called a mesh router system. It allows
you to turn on and off certain devices at a
macro level without having to turn the entire Wi Fi
off if you don't want to. What fuels all of
these devices and their persuasive design and their addictive nature
in the dopamine is the Wi Fi. We know that
for a fact. So if the first two steps control
(04:40):
your Wi Fi and control the mobile data actually had
some of the biggest impact that we saw.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I know you said this is really simple, but now
I'm confused. What's a mesh router?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
So the meshrouter system, it's just a form of technology.
I'm not an it guru. I'm not going to explain
it effectively. But we have had them at various times
our homes and it's a way of having the Internet
available in some places but not other places. So that's
an option. There's these things that you can get called
in charge boxes. That's literally you take the device off
(05:11):
your kids, you put them in the box, you lock
it up overnight. There's all sorts of different ways. What
is essentially saying is you control your kids access to
the device at certain times of the day, especially at night.
Time when they're in the bedroom and all of a
sudden you find that they just don't have those problems.
I remember one of our friends, Mark used to go
and collect all of his kids. I think Mark and
Amy they have five kids. I'm pretty sure they had
five children. They were all in their teens or somewhere
(05:34):
around that age. And Mark used to go around with
the big box and pick up all the laptops and
all the tablets and all the phones and put them
in the box, and they just stayed in his bedroom
near his bed. He woke up one morning at two
o'clock he could hear something in the bedroom. Two am.
Open his eyes, looks at the clock. Here's the sound.
Thinks I've got an intruderroom my bedroom. Flicks on the light,
ready to jump at whoever it is that's about to
(05:56):
steal everything from their bedroom. And it's their teenage son Commando,
crawling and his elbows across the carpet to get to
his screen so that he can play Fortnite at two
o'clock in the morning. Like, kids really really want access
to their devices. So, whether you're doing what Brad's studied
or just doing what our friend Mark did, there are
ways that you can control the WiFi, minimize access to
the Wi Fi, and therefore reduce your children's time on screens,
(06:22):
specifically at set times where you know they don't need
to be on their screen.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Like two o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Like two o'clock in the morning. Absolutely, what's number two?
So the second one is aligned with that, and that's
placing limits on the phone, placing limits on the mobile phone.
And that's been typically the route that we've taken. What
I love about this.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Is nothing set in concrete. The restrictions become fluid because
each of our girls needs change from time to time,
and as their relationships have matured and their relationships have
changed with their friends and the way they communicate with them,
sometimes the parental parameters that we've put in place don't
(07:00):
actually work for them anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right, And it's also not fair for the seventeen year
old to have the Wi Fi cut off and for
her to not have access to it because the thirteen
year old isn't allowed to have it. So having those
phone controls can make it can just make it much
more personalized filtering approach when it comes to screen access.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
But what I love about this approach specifically, is that
it requires an adult to adult conversation. It requires a
willingness to sit in hard places and say, hey, Mum,
hey Dad, I'm really struggling at the moment because I
only get fifteen minutes on social media and it's the
only way I get to chat with my friends. And
(07:42):
by the time we've all kind of worked out what
we want to do, my fifteen minutes is up, and
now I don't know where we're meeting or whatever. You know,
Like I just I love that it makes them accountable
where it's going to go next.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And without children, we've sat down with them, maybe on
a Sunday to learn once every three months or every
six months and said, okay, let's go through the screen
time limits. Let's go through the apps that you're allowed
and how long you're allowed to be using them and
all that sort of thing, and we have found that
to be fairly effective. In my interview with Brad, he
pointed out that there are some challenges with this.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Parents that are using parental controls on phones and devices
and apps and games. They're incredibly poor, they're poorly designed.
There's easy ways to get around them, and you know,
we can go into where the tech companies designed them
that way on purpose or not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
We've definitely had that one happen.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Kylie.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You have limits on your phone and you get around them.
Let's be honest. I would never do such a thing.
Oh never, I just don't put limits on my phone.
After the break, we're going to discuss the other three
things that Brad has found can be useful in setting
clear boundaries for screams and kids in your home. Okay, Kylie,
(08:58):
let's hit number three. Setting clear boundary is around Wi
Fi being turned off at bedtime. This was Brad Marshall's
third strategy for managing, reducing, controlling, dealing with the challenges
that screens present in families. Clear boundaries around Wi Fi
being turned off at bedtime.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So this feels a lot like number one. I guess
the only difference is the entire houses Internet has turned
off at a certain timeframe as opposed to individual devices.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, if it's good for the goose, it's good for
the gander. My challenge here, and I discussed this with
Brad a little bit, and obviously i'll replay the whole
in view on Saturday. When I chatted with him about this,
the problem. The real difficult that we've got is that
you turn off the Wi Fi and if you're paying
for your kids phone plan, which many parents are, and
they're just on a regular phone plan rather than a
(09:47):
prepaid with really really tight limits, the kids will just
be like, we'm fine, I'll use my four G, I'll
use my five G. And that becomes a really big
issue now if you've got young children, he recommends, and
I'm with him on the there are phones that are
called the GME phones. A guy that used to be
on Channel nine as a tech expert. His name is
Charlie Brown, literally like the Charlie Brown, that's him. He's
(10:11):
developed this phone called the GME phone, and we'll link
to that in the show notes. I endorse it. I
recommend it. It allows parents to set up all of
the controls that are required in ways that the kids
can't get around them, like the Apple ones or the
Google ones. The kids can jailbreak those. These are good
controls and I recommend that. But ultimately this is essentially
(10:31):
saying you don't need the Wi Fi and all the time,
you don't need to be connected to your phone all
the time. And once again he found that this is effective.
Your note also that it typically, if it's done well,
involves a whole lot of parental involvement and monitoring.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I don't know if this actually comes up in your
interview or not, but I think one of the biggest
strategies for parents is once you gift your child a
phone that you start off from the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
With it is the strictest oneile literally absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Because I think what happens is we all think, oh,
my child, it's not going to be like that. We
have no realization of what this device will actually do
with our child.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
It will absolutely supercharge their brain. It will pull them
in and they are helpless in the face of it.
They simply are helpless, especially once you let them, not
that any parents should, but once you let them go
to roade blocks, Minecraft, Fortnite, social media, Instagram, TikTok, Oh
my goodness. I mean, if there was ever an algorithm
that was addictive, this is the absolute pinnicle of it.
(11:35):
This is the challenge. And that's again why I like
the GM phone. I'm not it's not a sponsored post.
I'm not getting anything out of talk. In fact, I'm
going to get Charlie on the podcast and have a
chat within a couple of weeks because it's so important,
and lots of parents are look at buying their kids
phones right now. You and I recently discussed do we
get our eleven year old I a soon to be
eleven year old a phone. I mean, she's starting to
venture a little bit further afield, she's starting to be
a bit more adventurous and exploratory. Should we get her
(11:56):
a phone? And we don't have a landline in the
house anymore. Soon she'll old enough that we can leave
her in the home for an hour or two if
we want to step out. Should we get her a phone?
We've decided that we're going to go with delayed, delayed, delayed,
delay delay. But eventually she will get a phone, and
it will be one that we can absolutely lock down
with really rock solid parental controls, like the GME phone.
(12:17):
It's just a really useful option.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
What about number four?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay, Number four is drawing up an agreement with your
child about daily screen limits.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I guess that taps in beautifully with what I was saying,
Like from the very beginning, there needs to be an agreement,
and there needs to be some really, really strict parameters,
and then there needs to be accountability because that's actually
probably the missing part correct to everything. We all start
off with this big kind of ideal of what we
want to happen, but then there's no follow through and
(12:46):
our kids work out very quickly that they can push the.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Boundaries spoiler alert. He found that this is not a
particularly effective tool, and research over the I mean, people
have been talking about phone contracts for more than a
decade now, and the re search has consistently shown it's
not particularly effective unless there's a high level of accountability.
And then you've got to make sure you don't sound
like a nag like there's work to be done to
get that right. But that's number four. Number five imploying consequences.
(13:12):
That is, you lose screen time if you break the rules.
Now I'm not big on consequences, as you know, but
in the interview that I have with Brad full replay
on Saturday, we're going to really unpack that and talk
about why this matters and some of the things that
I have to say about this might surprise anyone who's
followed me on Happy Families for any length of time,
because I think he's right in this case.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Well, it sounds like it will be a very informative
interview on Saturday, super practical and for any parent who
has a screen age child in their home, this is
probably one you want to air mark, bookmark whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Maybe even listen to with your kids and listen to
that's on Saturday. The podcast with Dr Brad Marshall The
Unplugged Psychologists will drop then. The Happy Families podcast is
produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. If you'd like
more information and more resources to make your family happier,
please visit us at happyfamilies dot com dot you
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