February 17, 2025 • 14 mins
When everything's a battle with your three-year-old, understanding the developmental realities can transform your approach. Learn why emotional regulation, theory of mind, and language development explain those challenging behaviours, and discover three practical solutions that actually work. Plus, find out why your child might be an angel at daycare but struggle at home - and why that's actually a good sign.
Quote of the Episode: "We expect way too much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of them physically."
Key Insights:
- Emotional regulation begins developing at age 3-4
- Theory of Mind develops around ages 4.5-5.5
- Language limitations affect behaviour management
- Different contexts (home vs daycare) create different behaviours
- Connection matters more than correction
- Rushing and time pressure escalate emotions
- The importance of autonomy for toddler cooperation
- Fun can transform routine tasks
Resources Mentioned:
- Little People, Big Feelings [webinar]
- The Parenting Revolution [book]
- Happy Families
Action Steps for Parents:
- Slow Down
- Create margin in routines
- Reduce rushing
- Maintain calm
- Build Connection
- Focus on feeling seen, heard, and valued
- Prioritize emotional availability
- Engage in their activities
- Make it Fun
- Add playful elements to routine tasks
- Use music and movement
- Transform ordinary moments with simple games
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Today's tricky question I'm at my wits end with my
three year old. Everything is a battle? What am I
supposed to do? Welcome to the Happy Families podcast Real
Parenting Solutions, Every single day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
We are Justin and Kylie Coulson, and every Tuesday on
the podcast we answer your tricky questions family relationships, wellbeing, threeenages, discipline,
(00:33):
whatever it might be. Ask us pretty much anything. You
can send us a voice note to podcasts at happy
families dot com dot au. That's podcasts with an s
at happy Families dot com dot Au. Or visit the website,
scroll down to the podcast section and press the record button.
Start talking. It's that simple. Today's question comes from Natalie.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm at my wits end with my three year old.
Everything is about all getting dressed, bath, teeth, hair, eating,
not hitting your sister. She's always so angry and yells
whenever we ask her to do anything, if we say no,
if we turn the TV off, etc. We have a
routine for morning which includes no TV and evening. I've
tried leaving extra time. I've tried getting down to her level,
(01:17):
holding hands, eye contact, saying, I know this is hard,
but if she doesn't want to do something, that's the
end of it. She'll scream, hit, throw things, none of
which we do at home. At daycare they see none
of this behavior, so I'm sure it's not some sort
of permanent issue. They're clearly much better at getting the
best out of children, And I know she feels safe
around me, which is why she lets it all out
(01:39):
with me. But I'm struggling to cope with the outbursts
and the inability to get ready and get out the door.
I'm broken by nine am.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Help, Natalie, I hear this question. I just I love
you desire to get this right. I love you can
hear it how much you love your daughter and how
frustrating this challenging thing is.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Unfortunately, we're dealing with some develop mental realities here. This
is a parly typical behavior for any three year old.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, we've done it six times, and our brand new
granddaughter is only a year off, and we're starting to
see the early signs already. All Right, Natalie, let's talk
about some developmental challenges that you're up against. The first
one is that children start learning l plates emotional regulation
around about the age of three, four five, somewhere, and
there is where it starts. They're not good at it.
(02:28):
They can regulate from time to time when things are good,
but once they get tired, once they get hungry, once
we say no, once things aren't going their way, it's explosive.
It just doesn't go well at all. And what that's
tied to is behavioral regulation. If you can't regulate your
emotions and they're explosive, the thing that automatically follows is
(02:49):
the behavior is where we get the kicking, the fighting,
the scratching, the biting, the pinching, the I hate you,
the evil eyes. It's all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
When I think about year old, they really are still
so little, and in some ways, the expectation that they're
going to have it all together emotionally is just a
bit far fetched.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I've been saying this for years. We expect way too
much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of
them physically. Like our kid's emotional l plates are firmly
in that windscreen, everyone should be able to see them,
and yet we sometimes forget and we treat them like
that learner driver on the road that didn't go through
the intersection when they should have and we're on the horn,
come on, what are you thinking? But they're not ready
for it yet. They just they're not there. So getting
(03:33):
those expectations right is important. And essentially, if you've got
a three year old, the expectations should be approximately zero,
maybe a touch more than that. I mean, they are
learning emotional regulation. But the average kid, what.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They need more than anything right now is compassion.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, the average kid learns to regulate their emotions most
of the time in most circumstances by about the age
of nine or ten, maybe eight if they're an early developer,
and so we're talking about a three year old. That
is a very, very, very big difference. There are two
other developmental realities that can explain what you're dealing with, Natalie,
what anyone with a three year old who is driving
them bonkers is experiencing. The first one is called theory
(04:10):
of mind. This is a technical term that psychologists love
to use so that they can feel like they're better
than everybody else. It's all about superiority. When we use
terms like theory of mind, what it really means is
that a child can take their own perspective. They want
something like you're in the park and you say it's
time to go home, and your child loses the plot. Why, well,
(04:30):
because in their minds totally and now you're ruining my
life forever because you're making me get off the swing.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Kids teach us so much like they are so good
at being in the moment, literally just living in the mind,
which is.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Really annoying when you can't be in that moment because
you've got to move to the next moment. So theory
of mind is something that researchers generally agree develops in
kids somewhere around four and a half to five and
a half, Somewhere in that area. That's where they start
to say, oh, I get it, you want something different
to me. A three year old is literally saying you
want something different to me, but not the words that
(05:06):
doesn't make sense. I can't literally does not compute. Some
research is now suggesting that theory of mind is also
a developmental process, and it's fairly rudimentary around that four
and a half to five and a half age range,
and that it may may be actually developing as late
as six, seven, even eight. We certainly know that empathy,
(05:28):
which is part of theory of mind, drops off for
boys between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, so it's
not a steady incline all the time. The last thing
to highlight is that physically this kid can walk around
and they can talk, so we think they're now a
small human like a mini adult. Language development, they're not
(05:49):
going to communicate really clearly with you what's going on,
especially when they get emotional because they can't find the words.
And you know the thing that we say to our
kids when they can't find the words, use your words,
use your words. Right that is unfair because right at
that moment, they can't use their words. They can't find
their words. The words are too hard to get a
hold of. So they're the developmental realities of a three
(06:09):
year old. They're totally ego centric. They can't see the
world through your perspective at all. They're emotionally disregulated and
behaviorally disregulated, and they struggle to communicate. That's a lot,
and that explains most of it, but we still need
some solutions. So after the break, a couple more reasons
this could be happening, and three solutions that will absolutely
(06:31):
change your life if you are raising a toddler or preschooler.
With big emotions, Kylie, when kids get really emotional, I'm
always curious to know whether they're whether those emotions cross contexts,
and that on is highlighted. Daycare is a breeze. There's
(06:53):
no problems at daycare at all, but at home things
are tricky. You used to work in early childcare. How
often would you see this all the time?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
We've experienced it in our own home totally. One of
our children, I could not get her to leave daycare
for the life of me, like literally meltdowns every day.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Which is so funny because so many parents are like,
they lose it when I leave them there.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, this is the She lost it when I left
her there in the morning, and then she wouldn't come
home to me afternoon. And I finally looked at her
teacher one day and I was like, I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And we were dealing with big emotions at home as well,
but the teacher said, she's fine once you're gone, She's
fine until you show up to take a home.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
So the teacher actually literally walked over to her whispered
something in her ear. She has never told me what
it was, but she would do this regularly and within
two seconds flat. Our daughter would get up from the
sand pit. She would go and get her shoes, get
her school bag, and she grab my hand and we'd
walk out the door without any issues.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Daycare is a different context of the home. So when
a parent says it's not happening in at daycare, it's
only happening at home, that tells me that we've got
a healthy kid. And what's really going on is daycare.
There's momentum, there's a crowd, there's socialization.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
The biggest thing about daycare is she is probably experiencing
more autonomy in that space than she is at home.
Our kids, no matter their age, they want to be
able to do things for themselves and.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
The activities are more fun. Let's be honest. They've got
an entire day where they plan in the sampit, they
plan in the water, they read books, they build castles,
and then they come home and the environment at home,
I mean, it's rarely going to be that enriching. And
even if it was, they also have the full simulated
stimulate that's right. They've got the company, they've got the
social aspect as well, so of course the experience at
daycare is going to be different. The momentum of daycare
(08:43):
is different. There's one other thing that Natalie said that
I just want to touch on before we step through
the three ideas that are going to change Natalie's life,
and that is that there's so much correction and direction.
There's so much. I'm going to coach you through this.
I can hear the desire to be gentle, I can
hear the desire to be perspective taking. I can hear
all of that, and that's good. But I'm more interested
(09:03):
in the connection that's happening, like proportionately, when you look
at the morning that you have with your child, imagine
that you're carrying a bucket that represents your relationship. Water
in the bucket represents the amount of connection, and air
represents correction and direction. How much water is getting tipped
into that bucket in the morning. How much water? How
much connection? How much time together? How much fun? How
much tell me about your day. I'm seeing you, I'm
(09:24):
hearing you, I'm valuing you, We're doing things together. How
much of that is happening. I think that Natalie's little
three year old needs more water in that relationship bucket,
more connection and less their less correction, and direction. So
we've got three solutions that are going to change every
parent's life if they're raising a preschool or a toddler.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
The first one, the first one slow it down, and
this actually marries up beautifully with the idea of creating
margin or buffer into our mornings and afternoons.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
As every parent goes, I have no margin, I have
no buffer. This is too hard.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
We all feel like that. Yeah, but I know from
experience with a couple of really really tricky kids, high emotions,
that if I did not slow things down, we were
in trouble.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Ye, emotions were all over the place. Our kids in
need they need the stability of routine and structure, but
they also need our calm. If we're calm in the morning,
if we're taking things nice and slowly, then they'll catch
that and they won't feel hurried, they won't feel rushed,
and they'll feel like they have some autonomy and how
(10:34):
things go because they understand the structure and routine.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So that ties in with the second one, which is
that we want to connect. I've mentioned the relationship bucket.
It's slowing down allows you to pour more water into
the bucket. That is more connection into the bucket. My
definition of connection is feeling seen, hurt and valued. What
are the things that you do that help your three
year old feel seen, hurt and valued? How can you
do more of those things? Conversations, aims, reading, just being together,
(11:03):
emotional availability, that's the that's the crux of it. Unfortunately,
a lot of that stuff is important but not urgent,
and so the urgent stuff gets in the way. Making
it a key priority will change your life. It will
change your relationship with your kids. Everything's better when they
know that they have a place in your life.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
So the mornings that have been the trickiest for me
is when I have a separate agenda to my kids.
So I wake up in the morning and I know
I've got to do X, Y and zaid while my
kids do A, B and C. But what my kids
actually need is for me to be involved with A,
B and C. I need to do X, Y and
Z at a different time.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
The third and final idea that will make all the difference,
we think is fun.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
How many steps will it take you to get to
the bathroom to brush your teeth? Can you hop to
the car on one foot? Can you walk as quietly
as else to brush your hair.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I love the way you do that.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Just find little things like it's not actually about creating
carnival fun balloons and streamers and all of that kind
of stuff. It's literally about just taking the normal and
adding an element to it. If you go into any
child case and you're going to find that, that's how
they motivate the kids. They get them doing things that
are just a little bit out of the norm. Who
(12:25):
wants to walk to the bathroom when I can skip?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Not gonna lie? Rainbows, unicorns and confetti will make it
more funny, but probably not realistic. The other thing that
can make it fun is music and dancing together and
just energy and activity. Three year olds love this stuff.
We believe those things will make all the difference when
it comes to dealing with the tearing your hair out
phase of raising a three year old. Oh, by the way,
(12:50):
still going to be hard, and those things require effort
and intention as well. So this is not an easy
quick fix. It requires genuine intention to get there. But
it will move the needle.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
But the reality is, whether we do it that way
or we do it the way we're doing it right now,
it's still so hard, right, So wouldn't we rather the
hard be one where we're all leaving with a little
bit of a smile on our face and a skip
in our step than ranting and raving, screaming and kicking.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Really appreciate the question, Natalie wonderful to be able to
be helpful. Every Tuesday on the podcast, we answer your
tricky questions about family relationships, wellbeing, screens, discipline. If you'd
like to submit a question, we'd love to hear from you,
jump onto your phone, send us a voice note to
podcasts that's podcasts with an s at happy families dot
com dot au. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
(13:40):
Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. If you would like more
information specifically about this issue, check out the webinar at
happy families dot com dot You called Little People, Big
Feelings might just change your life. Or have a look
at the book The Parenting Revolution. More information and more
resources to help make your FANNI be happier are available
(14:01):
happy families dot com dot au. Mm hmm
Today's tricky question I'm at my wits end with my
three year old. Everything is a battle? What am I
supposed to do? Welcome to the Happy Families podcast Real
Parenting Solutions, Every single day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
We are Justin and Kylie Coulson, and every Tuesday on
the podcast we answer your tricky questions family relationships, wellbeing, threeenages, discipline,
(00:33):
whatever it might be. Ask us pretty much anything. You
can send us a voice note to podcasts at happy
families dot com dot au. That's podcasts with an s
at happy Families dot com dot Au. Or visit the website,
scroll down to the podcast section and press the record button.
Start talking. It's that simple. Today's question comes from Natalie.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm at my wits end with my three year old.
Everything is about all getting dressed, bath, teeth, hair, eating,
not hitting your sister. She's always so angry and yells
whenever we ask her to do anything, if we say no,
if we turn the TV off, etc. We have a
routine for morning which includes no TV and evening. I've
tried leaving extra time. I've tried getting down to her level,
(01:17):
holding hands, eye contact, saying, I know this is hard,
but if she doesn't want to do something, that's the
end of it. She'll scream, hit, throw things, none of
which we do at home. At daycare they see none
of this behavior, so I'm sure it's not some sort
of permanent issue. They're clearly much better at getting the
best out of children, And I know she feels safe
around me, which is why she lets it all out
(01:39):
with me. But I'm struggling to cope with the outbursts
and the inability to get ready and get out the door.
I'm broken by nine am.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Help, Natalie, I hear this question. I just I love
you desire to get this right. I love you can
hear it how much you love your daughter and how
frustrating this challenging thing is.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Unfortunately, we're dealing with some develop mental realities here. This
is a parly typical behavior for any three year old.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, we've done it six times, and our brand new
granddaughter is only a year off, and we're starting to
see the early signs already. All Right, Natalie, let's talk
about some developmental challenges that you're up against. The first
one is that children start learning l plates emotional regulation
around about the age of three, four five, somewhere, and
there is where it starts. They're not good at it.
(02:28):
They can regulate from time to time when things are good,
but once they get tired, once they get hungry, once
we say no, once things aren't going their way, it's explosive.
It just doesn't go well at all. And what that's
tied to is behavioral regulation. If you can't regulate your
emotions and they're explosive, the thing that automatically follows is
(02:49):
the behavior is where we get the kicking, the fighting,
the scratching, the biting, the pinching, the I hate you,
the evil eyes. It's all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
When I think about year old, they really are still
so little, and in some ways, the expectation that they're
going to have it all together emotionally is just a
bit far fetched.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I've been saying this for years. We expect way too
much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of
them physically. Like our kid's emotional l plates are firmly
in that windscreen, everyone should be able to see them,
and yet we sometimes forget and we treat them like
that learner driver on the road that didn't go through
the intersection when they should have and we're on the horn,
come on, what are you thinking? But they're not ready
for it yet. They just they're not there. So getting
(03:33):
those expectations right is important. And essentially, if you've got
a three year old, the expectations should be approximately zero,
maybe a touch more than that. I mean, they are
learning emotional regulation. But the average kid, what.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They need more than anything right now is compassion.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, the average kid learns to regulate their emotions most
of the time in most circumstances by about the age
of nine or ten, maybe eight if they're an early developer,
and so we're talking about a three year old. That
is a very, very, very big difference. There are two
other developmental realities that can explain what you're dealing with, Natalie,
what anyone with a three year old who is driving
them bonkers is experiencing. The first one is called theory
(04:10):
of mind. This is a technical term that psychologists love
to use so that they can feel like they're better
than everybody else. It's all about superiority. When we use
terms like theory of mind, what it really means is
that a child can take their own perspective. They want
something like you're in the park and you say it's
time to go home, and your child loses the plot. Why, well,
(04:30):
because in their minds totally and now you're ruining my
life forever because you're making me get off the swing.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Kids teach us so much like they are so good
at being in the moment, literally just living in the mind,
which is.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Really annoying when you can't be in that moment because
you've got to move to the next moment. So theory
of mind is something that researchers generally agree develops in
kids somewhere around four and a half to five and
a half, Somewhere in that area. That's where they start
to say, oh, I get it, you want something different
to me. A three year old is literally saying you
want something different to me, but not the words that
(05:06):
doesn't make sense. I can't literally does not compute. Some
research is now suggesting that theory of mind is also
a developmental process, and it's fairly rudimentary around that four
and a half to five and a half age range,
and that it may may be actually developing as late
as six, seven, even eight. We certainly know that empathy,
(05:28):
which is part of theory of mind, drops off for
boys between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, so it's
not a steady incline all the time. The last thing
to highlight is that physically this kid can walk around
and they can talk, so we think they're now a
small human like a mini adult. Language development, they're not
(05:49):
going to communicate really clearly with you what's going on,
especially when they get emotional because they can't find the words.
And you know the thing that we say to our
kids when they can't find the words, use your words,
use your words. Right that is unfair because right at
that moment, they can't use their words. They can't find
their words. The words are too hard to get a
hold of. So they're the developmental realities of a three
(06:09):
year old. They're totally ego centric. They can't see the
world through your perspective at all. They're emotionally disregulated and
behaviorally disregulated, and they struggle to communicate. That's a lot,
and that explains most of it, but we still need
some solutions. So after the break, a couple more reasons
this could be happening, and three solutions that will absolutely
(06:31):
change your life if you are raising a toddler or preschooler.
With big emotions, Kylie, when kids get really emotional, I'm
always curious to know whether they're whether those emotions cross contexts,
and that on is highlighted. Daycare is a breeze. There's
(06:53):
no problems at daycare at all, but at home things
are tricky. You used to work in early childcare. How
often would you see this all the time?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
We've experienced it in our own home totally. One of
our children, I could not get her to leave daycare
for the life of me, like literally meltdowns every day.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Which is so funny because so many parents are like,
they lose it when I leave them there.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, this is the She lost it when I left
her there in the morning, and then she wouldn't come
home to me afternoon. And I finally looked at her
teacher one day and I was like, I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And we were dealing with big emotions at home as well,
but the teacher said, she's fine once you're gone, She's
fine until you show up to take a home.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
So the teacher actually literally walked over to her whispered
something in her ear. She has never told me what
it was, but she would do this regularly and within
two seconds flat. Our daughter would get up from the
sand pit. She would go and get her shoes, get
her school bag, and she grab my hand and we'd
walk out the door without any issues.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Daycare is a different context of the home. So when
a parent says it's not happening in at daycare, it's
only happening at home, that tells me that we've got
a healthy kid. And what's really going on is daycare.
There's momentum, there's a crowd, there's socialization.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
The biggest thing about daycare is she is probably experiencing
more autonomy in that space than she is at home.
Our kids, no matter their age, they want to be
able to do things for themselves and.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
The activities are more fun. Let's be honest. They've got
an entire day where they plan in the sampit, they
plan in the water, they read books, they build castles,
and then they come home and the environment at home,
I mean, it's rarely going to be that enriching. And
even if it was, they also have the full simulated
stimulate that's right. They've got the company, they've got the
social aspect as well, so of course the experience at
daycare is going to be different. The momentum of daycare
(08:43):
is different. There's one other thing that Natalie said that
I just want to touch on before we step through
the three ideas that are going to change Natalie's life,
and that is that there's so much correction and direction.
There's so much. I'm going to coach you through this.
I can hear the desire to be gentle, I can
hear the desire to be perspective taking. I can hear
all of that, and that's good. But I'm more interested
(09:03):
in the connection that's happening, like proportionately, when you look
at the morning that you have with your child, imagine
that you're carrying a bucket that represents your relationship. Water
in the bucket represents the amount of connection, and air
represents correction and direction. How much water is getting tipped
into that bucket in the morning. How much water? How
much connection? How much time together? How much fun? How
much tell me about your day. I'm seeing you, I'm
(09:24):
hearing you, I'm valuing you, We're doing things together. How
much of that is happening. I think that Natalie's little
three year old needs more water in that relationship bucket,
more connection and less their less correction, and direction. So
we've got three solutions that are going to change every
parent's life if they're raising a preschool or a toddler.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
The first one, the first one slow it down, and
this actually marries up beautifully with the idea of creating
margin or buffer into our mornings and afternoons.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
As every parent goes, I have no margin, I have
no buffer. This is too hard.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
We all feel like that. Yeah, but I know from
experience with a couple of really really tricky kids, high emotions,
that if I did not slow things down, we were
in trouble.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Ye, emotions were all over the place. Our kids in
need they need the stability of routine and structure, but
they also need our calm. If we're calm in the morning,
if we're taking things nice and slowly, then they'll catch
that and they won't feel hurried, they won't feel rushed,
and they'll feel like they have some autonomy and how
(10:34):
things go because they understand the structure and routine.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So that ties in with the second one, which is
that we want to connect. I've mentioned the relationship bucket.
It's slowing down allows you to pour more water into
the bucket. That is more connection into the bucket. My
definition of connection is feeling seen, hurt and valued. What
are the things that you do that help your three
year old feel seen, hurt and valued? How can you
do more of those things? Conversations, aims, reading, just being together,
(11:03):
emotional availability, that's the that's the crux of it. Unfortunately,
a lot of that stuff is important but not urgent,
and so the urgent stuff gets in the way. Making
it a key priority will change your life. It will
change your relationship with your kids. Everything's better when they
know that they have a place in your life.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
So the mornings that have been the trickiest for me
is when I have a separate agenda to my kids.
So I wake up in the morning and I know
I've got to do X, Y and zaid while my
kids do A, B and C. But what my kids
actually need is for me to be involved with A,
B and C. I need to do X, Y and
Z at a different time.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
The third and final idea that will make all the difference,
we think is fun.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
How many steps will it take you to get to
the bathroom to brush your teeth? Can you hop to
the car on one foot? Can you walk as quietly
as else to brush your hair.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I love the way you do that.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Just find little things like it's not actually about creating
carnival fun balloons and streamers and all of that kind
of stuff. It's literally about just taking the normal and
adding an element to it. If you go into any
child case and you're going to find that, that's how
they motivate the kids. They get them doing things that
are just a little bit out of the norm. Who
(12:25):
wants to walk to the bathroom when I can skip?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Not gonna lie? Rainbows, unicorns and confetti will make it
more funny, but probably not realistic. The other thing that
can make it fun is music and dancing together and
just energy and activity. Three year olds love this stuff.
We believe those things will make all the difference when
it comes to dealing with the tearing your hair out
phase of raising a three year old. Oh, by the way,
(12:50):
still going to be hard, and those things require effort
and intention as well. So this is not an easy
quick fix. It requires genuine intention to get there. But
it will move the needle.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
But the reality is, whether we do it that way
or we do it the way we're doing it right now,
it's still so hard, right, So wouldn't we rather the
hard be one where we're all leaving with a little
bit of a smile on our face and a skip
in our step than ranting and raving, screaming and kicking.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Really appreciate the question, Natalie wonderful to be able to
be helpful. Every Tuesday on the podcast, we answer your
tricky questions about family relationships, wellbeing, screens, discipline. If you'd
like to submit a question, we'd love to hear from you,
jump onto your phone, send us a voice note to
podcasts that's podcasts with an s at happy families dot
com dot au. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
(13:40):
Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. If you would like more
information specifically about this issue, check out the webinar at
happy families dot com dot You called Little People, Big
Feelings might just change your life. Or have a look
at the book The Parenting Revolution. More information and more
resources to help make your FANNI be happier are available
(14:01):
happy families dot com dot au. Mm hmm
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