May 20, 2025 • 10 mins
When your 8-year-old asks, “Where do babies come from?” how do you respond—without panicking? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson share a sneak peek from an upcoming full interview with parenting author Michelle Mitchell about how to answer kids’ trickiest questions around procreation, intimacy, and consent. With warmth and practical wisdom, this conversation helps you feel more confident about when to talk, what to say, and how to create safe, shame-free conversations at every age.
KEY POINTS:
- Start early and keep it simple. Naming body parts from a young age normalises these conversations and lays the foundation for later discussions about intimacy and consent.
- It’s never one big talk—it’s lots of little ones. Open, ongoing conversations build trust and make it easier for your child to ask more questions over time.
- You don’t need to get it perfect—just talk. Whether your style is open and casual or more private and reserved, what matters is that you're talking.
- Consent starts with valuing the body. Children need to understand their body is important, personal, and deserves respect—this frames later discussions about consent and intimacy in a meaningful, protective way.
- Humour helps. Be ready for funny, awkward, or unexpected responses. Respond with warmth, and follow your child’s lead on what they’re ready for.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“It doesn’t matter how your family talks—at the dinner table or quietly in private. What matters is that you’re talking.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- Where Do Babies Come From? And Other Questions 8–12 Year Olds Ask – Michelle Mitchell’s newest book for kids and parents
- The Girl’s Guide to Puberty and The Guy’s Guide to Puberty – Also by Michelle Mitchell
- Happy Families School Membership
- Coming Soon: Full interview with Michelle Mitchell (Saturday episode)
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
- Start with naming. Use proper terminology for body parts from the toddler years to normalise respectful language.
- Create a safe atmosphere. Be open to your child’s questions without judgement—even if you feel uncomfortable.
- Match your message to your child’s age. Answer what they’re asking, and don’t overshare if they’re not ready.
- Read together. Use age-appropriate books like Michelle’s to guide conversations and give your child permission to explore topics at their pace.
- Teach consent through value. Help your child understand that their body is special and deserves care and respect—this lays the groundwork for deeper conversations later.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Where do babies come from? How come there's a little
brother or a little sister? And mummy's tummy. These are
some of the tricky questions that kids ask, and as
parents sometimes we're just not quite sure what to say.
Good news, there are answers for you. Hello and welcome
to the Happy Families podcast, Real Parenting Solutions every Day.
It's Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are Justin and
(00:27):
Kylie Colson. Kylie, Your Friend and Mine. Michelle Mitchell. She's
the author of Teens Our Daughter Emily. She's now eleven.
She loves The Girl's Guide and the Guy's Guide to Puberty.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
She literally pulls them out of the cupboard regularly, yep,
to have a read. There are definitely sections that she
says I'm not ready for and she just skims past that.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And she doesn't really like the boys one as much
as the Girls.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Ones, right, No, but she does pull it out.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
These books have sold tens of thousands of copies. Michelle
has done a marvelous job with those books. She's got
a brand new one out. The brand new one is
called Where did Babies Come From? And Other Questions? Eight
to twelve year olds ask. It's done in the same
comic style. It's just they're such great books and Kylie.
In the last day or two I had a chat
with Michelle. We're going to play the full conversation about
this on Saturday for your weekend listening pleasure. It's a
(01:15):
little bit longer than our normal pods, but hopefully on
the weekend you'll have time to listen asking all those
tricky questions so that parents know how to guide their
children through the conversations around procreation, intimacy, and that kind
of stuff. But it was such a great chat, I
wanted to share two things that she had to share
with me in that interview in our podcast today, just
to give people a samp or a taster of what's
(01:37):
coming up. The first thing that I asked her, because
this is just one of those things that parents want
to know about all the time, is why why parents
so nervous about talking about this?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
There's so many things we didn't get it modeled very well.
I think a lot of us have had bad sexual
experiences as well, and so you know that comes into play.
I think we don't want to get it wrong either,
and we're scared of not sort of knowing what to
say if our kids ask us an awkward question. I
think the cultural thing is real. In the book, I
(02:10):
talk about different talking styles that parents have, and I
say to the kids, it doesn't matter how your family
prefers to talk. Some families talk around the dinner table
openly and others talk really privately. As long as your
parents are talking, it doesn't matter how they're talking. And
I think that's a really important message for parents to
(02:31):
take away as well, because I meet a lot of
parents in my parent nights that just, you know, they
just say, look, we're not the kind of family that
would talk openly about this across the dinner table. And
I say to parents, you know what, as long as
you are talking to your kids, it is okay.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What kind of parents would you say we are?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I mean, you're pretty happy to talk about this with
our daughters across the dinner table. I'm less. So I
think that's kind of like it's because I'm the dad
and I've got six girls. I'm happy to talk about
these things. But I don't know, I keep it a
little bit more hush hush, a bit more quiet on
the down low. One of our kids came to me
the other day and said, Mum was talking to us
about I haven't told you this Mum was talking to
(03:09):
us about. And then she gave us this big list
of all the intimate things that you were talking about
with our teenage girls. And I was like, oh yeah,
and she was giggling, like really embarrassed as she was
telling me, but she really wanted to talk. And I
just I know who this daughter is instantly like, how
did that make you feel? And do you have any
other questions? And I'm really happy to talk to you
(03:31):
about any of this, and I'm so glad you got
to talk to mum about it. So I'm more of
a not across it in the table guy.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I probably say I'm pretty irreverent when it comes to
this stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I would say, you're pretty happy to talk about anything anywhere,
anytime with almost any one of our children. At least
that actually gets me. I love first of all, before
I shared the story I was going to share, I
love Michelle's sensitivity. It is tricky for some parents, and
not every family has the same communication style. Not every
couple has the same communication.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Style, but you mean not every person in the couple.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
But that's the same that's what I mean. Yeah, but
I mean I've certainly done the hard yards with these
conversations and found them to be really rewarding conversations. Anyway,
The one that jumps out at me my funniest experience
was when we were having the first conversation we'd ever
had about intimacy with our eldest daughter. You know where
(04:23):
I'm going, where you're going, And as we finally finished
the conversation, she looked at me and she said, or
looked at us and said, I think at the time
she was the eldest of four. We hadn't had the
last two. Maybe we had five, I don't know. And
she looked at us and said, do you mean to
tell me that you've done this four times?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
And your eyes went wide and your mouth opened as
if you were about to say, oh, there's a lot more,
Like I just touched you on the leg, And I'm like, yes, yes,
Like that's all you need to know today.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You'll find out later down the track that there's a
lot more going on here. It was that was my
favorite favorite moment in those conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I remember with one of our children going through the
mechanics of how babies are made and just talking about
the fact that obviously mum has eggs and dad has sperm,
and when they connect, a baby, you know, is created
and the ex fertilized. And I just remember her looking
at me going, but how does dad sperm get into
(05:28):
your egg?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I remember that one. I remember that conversation as well.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I was like, I thought we were going to get
get away with this so we didn't have to go
into all the detail. But she picked it up pretty
quickly that this didn't make sense until she knew it.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
All the conversations need to happen. Research shows that they're
not happening, and Michelle's book is so helpful for helping
you to have the conversation in a in a really
measured and simple way. In fact, it's not a conversation,
it's a lot of conversations, and the book, especially when
it's paired with A Guy's Guide to Puberty and a
Girl's Guide to Puberty, this gives you like two years
(06:06):
worth of conversations on a weekly basis, right like you can.
There's so much to talk about and so much to
guide your children through with these books.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I think part of the challenge that a lot of
parents have around this and feeling uncomfortable having these conversations
with their kids. Is they wait to start having them
way too late. If we create an environment and an
atmosphere where we can talk about even just naming body
parts with young children, it just becomes a normal part
(06:39):
of your conversation and dialogue. Then the next step, obviously
is to talk about intimacy and how that relates to
us at different stages of our lives. But if we
wait to have a conversation with our fourteen year old
and we've never had a conversation with them in any way,
shape or form, it's not going to go well.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
And they also know more than you'd like them to
know by that age anyways.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
And they're looking at it like You're like you don't
know anything.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, yeah, this is kind of embarrassing. Now I'm really
enjoying this conversation. In thinking about what we're talking about
here in these solutions and strategies, We're going to jump
onto Facebook and ask you, what are the funniest responses
that you've had when you've explained to your children appropriation, intimacy.
What are the funniest things that they've ever said to you?
I really, really really want to get your responses, and
(07:27):
maybe we'll do a follow up podcast episode around that
in a few days time or a week's time or
something when that comes through. Hey, after the break. One
more thing that Michelle said that I think every parent
needs to know. Michelle Mitchell is the author of Where
Do Babies Come From. We're going to play her full
(07:48):
interview for you on Saturday. She said so many things
that were valuable. I asked her about why teaching consent
is important. I'm an ambassador for the federal government's Consent
Can't Wait campaign, so I obviously know the answer from
my point of view, but I wanted to hear Michelle
explain it. Here's what she said, Kylie.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
When I'm speaking to kids in schools, I make sure
that they are really clear that sex is not for kids.
It's for someone that you love, trust, and it's a
very private thing because it involves your body, and you
can imagine how serious that is. And because they're imagining
then their physical body, they're actually feeling the weight of that.
(08:26):
And I want them to know that their bodies are important.
I want them to know that they're valuable. And the
moment kids are ready to get this information update and
they really digest the seriousness of that. That's the moment
that I think they're ready to really understand that, hey,
your precious body needs to be protected and that there
(08:47):
gives you an inroad to have some of those conversations.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
This is why Michelle is so good at what she does.
It is just such a beautiful concept to help our
children and recognize that this is not something we just
give to anyone, that our bodies are so important and
so precious.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
They're precious. We only have one of them, and we
only get to share it with the most important people
in our lives.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I mean ideally. Yeah, we talked about the recreation of
view of sex versus the sacred view of sex, and
a whole bunch more. It's such a great conversation, where
do babies come from? And other questions eight to twelve
year olds ask. It's a book by Michelle Mitchell. The
full conversation about sex, consent, and everything else is happening
on Saturday. The podcast episode will drop there. Hope you
really enjoy it and that this has spurreed some interesting
(09:40):
insights and ideas for you and your conversations with your
kids around these important topics. The Happy Families podcast is
produced by Justin Rulin from Bridge Media. More information and
more resources about making your family happier are available at
happy families dot com dot IU, and we'll link to
Michelle's shop in the show notes
Where do babies come from? How come there's a little
brother or a little sister? And mummy's tummy. These are
some of the tricky questions that kids ask, and as
parents sometimes we're just not quite sure what to say.
Good news, there are answers for you. Hello and welcome
to the Happy Families podcast, Real Parenting Solutions every Day.
It's Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are Justin and
(00:27):
Kylie Colson. Kylie, Your Friend and Mine. Michelle Mitchell. She's
the author of Teens Our Daughter Emily. She's now eleven.
She loves The Girl's Guide and the Guy's Guide to Puberty.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
She literally pulls them out of the cupboard regularly, yep,
to have a read. There are definitely sections that she
says I'm not ready for and she just skims past that.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And she doesn't really like the boys one as much
as the Girls.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Ones, right, No, but she does pull it out.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
These books have sold tens of thousands of copies. Michelle
has done a marvelous job with those books. She's got
a brand new one out. The brand new one is
called Where did Babies Come From? And Other Questions? Eight
to twelve year olds ask. It's done in the same
comic style. It's just they're such great books and Kylie.
In the last day or two I had a chat
with Michelle. We're going to play the full conversation about
this on Saturday for your weekend listening pleasure. It's a
(01:15):
little bit longer than our normal pods, but hopefully on
the weekend you'll have time to listen asking all those
tricky questions so that parents know how to guide their
children through the conversations around procreation, intimacy, and that kind
of stuff. But it was such a great chat, I
wanted to share two things that she had to share
with me in that interview in our podcast today, just
to give people a samp or a taster of what's
(01:37):
coming up. The first thing that I asked her, because
this is just one of those things that parents want
to know about all the time, is why why parents
so nervous about talking about this?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
There's so many things we didn't get it modeled very well.
I think a lot of us have had bad sexual
experiences as well, and so you know that comes into play.
I think we don't want to get it wrong either,
and we're scared of not sort of knowing what to
say if our kids ask us an awkward question. I
think the cultural thing is real. In the book, I
(02:10):
talk about different talking styles that parents have, and I
say to the kids, it doesn't matter how your family
prefers to talk. Some families talk around the dinner table
openly and others talk really privately. As long as your
parents are talking, it doesn't matter how they're talking. And
I think that's a really important message for parents to
(02:31):
take away as well, because I meet a lot of
parents in my parent nights that just, you know, they
just say, look, we're not the kind of family that
would talk openly about this across the dinner table. And
I say to parents, you know what, as long as
you are talking to your kids, it is okay.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What kind of parents would you say we are?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I mean, you're pretty happy to talk about this with
our daughters across the dinner table. I'm less. So I
think that's kind of like it's because I'm the dad
and I've got six girls. I'm happy to talk about
these things. But I don't know, I keep it a
little bit more hush hush, a bit more quiet on
the down low. One of our kids came to me
the other day and said, Mum was talking to us
about I haven't told you this Mum was talking to
(03:09):
us about. And then she gave us this big list
of all the intimate things that you were talking about
with our teenage girls. And I was like, oh yeah,
and she was giggling, like really embarrassed as she was
telling me, but she really wanted to talk. And I
just I know who this daughter is instantly like, how
did that make you feel? And do you have any
other questions? And I'm really happy to talk to you
(03:31):
about any of this, and I'm so glad you got
to talk to mum about it. So I'm more of
a not across it in the table guy.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I probably say I'm pretty irreverent when it comes to
this stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I would say, you're pretty happy to talk about anything anywhere,
anytime with almost any one of our children. At least
that actually gets me. I love first of all, before
I shared the story I was going to share, I
love Michelle's sensitivity. It is tricky for some parents, and
not every family has the same communication style. Not every
couple has the same communication.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Style, but you mean not every person in the couple.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
But that's the same that's what I mean. Yeah, but
I mean I've certainly done the hard yards with these
conversations and found them to be really rewarding conversations. Anyway,
The one that jumps out at me my funniest experience
was when we were having the first conversation we'd ever
had about intimacy with our eldest daughter. You know where
(04:23):
I'm going, where you're going, And as we finally finished
the conversation, she looked at me and she said, or
looked at us and said, I think at the time
she was the eldest of four. We hadn't had the
last two. Maybe we had five, I don't know. And
she looked at us and said, do you mean to
tell me that you've done this four times?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
And your eyes went wide and your mouth opened as
if you were about to say, oh, there's a lot more,
Like I just touched you on the leg, And I'm like, yes, yes,
Like that's all you need to know today.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You'll find out later down the track that there's a
lot more going on here. It was that was my
favorite favorite moment in those conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I remember with one of our children going through the
mechanics of how babies are made and just talking about
the fact that obviously mum has eggs and dad has sperm,
and when they connect, a baby, you know, is created
and the ex fertilized. And I just remember her looking
at me going, but how does dad sperm get into
(05:28):
your egg?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I remember that one. I remember that conversation as well.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I was like, I thought we were going to get
get away with this so we didn't have to go
into all the detail. But she picked it up pretty
quickly that this didn't make sense until she knew it.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
All the conversations need to happen. Research shows that they're
not happening, and Michelle's book is so helpful for helping
you to have the conversation in a in a really
measured and simple way. In fact, it's not a conversation,
it's a lot of conversations, and the book, especially when
it's paired with A Guy's Guide to Puberty and a
Girl's Guide to Puberty, this gives you like two years
(06:06):
worth of conversations on a weekly basis, right like you can.
There's so much to talk about and so much to
guide your children through with these books.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I think part of the challenge that a lot of
parents have around this and feeling uncomfortable having these conversations
with their kids. Is they wait to start having them
way too late. If we create an environment and an
atmosphere where we can talk about even just naming body
parts with young children, it just becomes a normal part
(06:39):
of your conversation and dialogue. Then the next step, obviously
is to talk about intimacy and how that relates to
us at different stages of our lives. But if we
wait to have a conversation with our fourteen year old
and we've never had a conversation with them in any way,
shape or form, it's not going to go well.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
And they also know more than you'd like them to
know by that age anyways.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
And they're looking at it like You're like you don't
know anything.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, yeah, this is kind of embarrassing. Now I'm really
enjoying this conversation. In thinking about what we're talking about
here in these solutions and strategies, We're going to jump
onto Facebook and ask you, what are the funniest responses
that you've had when you've explained to your children appropriation, intimacy.
What are the funniest things that they've ever said to you?
I really, really really want to get your responses, and
(07:27):
maybe we'll do a follow up podcast episode around that
in a few days time or a week's time or
something when that comes through. Hey, after the break. One
more thing that Michelle said that I think every parent
needs to know. Michelle Mitchell is the author of Where
Do Babies Come From. We're going to play her full
(07:48):
interview for you on Saturday. She said so many things
that were valuable. I asked her about why teaching consent
is important. I'm an ambassador for the federal government's Consent
Can't Wait campaign, so I obviously know the answer from
my point of view, but I wanted to hear Michelle
explain it. Here's what she said, Kylie.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
When I'm speaking to kids in schools, I make sure
that they are really clear that sex is not for kids.
It's for someone that you love, trust, and it's a
very private thing because it involves your body, and you
can imagine how serious that is. And because they're imagining
then their physical body, they're actually feeling the weight of that.
(08:26):
And I want them to know that their bodies are important.
I want them to know that they're valuable. And the
moment kids are ready to get this information update and
they really digest the seriousness of that. That's the moment
that I think they're ready to really understand that, hey,
your precious body needs to be protected and that there
(08:47):
gives you an inroad to have some of those conversations.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
This is why Michelle is so good at what she does.
It is just such a beautiful concept to help our
children and recognize that this is not something we just
give to anyone, that our bodies are so important and
so precious.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
They're precious. We only have one of them, and we
only get to share it with the most important people
in our lives.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I mean ideally. Yeah, we talked about the recreation of
view of sex versus the sacred view of sex, and
a whole bunch more. It's such a great conversation, where
do babies come from? And other questions eight to twelve
year olds ask. It's a book by Michelle Mitchell. The
full conversation about sex, consent, and everything else is happening
on Saturday. The podcast episode will drop there. Hope you
really enjoy it and that this has spurreed some interesting
(09:40):
insights and ideas for you and your conversations with your
kids around these important topics. The Happy Families podcast is
produced by Justin Rulin from Bridge Media. More information and
more resources about making your family happier are available at
happy families dot com dot IU, and we'll link to
Michelle's shop in the show notes
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