December 11, 2024 • 15 mins
This episode unpacks Australia's groundbreaking social media ban for kids under 16, set to roll out by Christmas 2025. With tech giants stepping up enforcement, parents are relieved, while teens face digital detoxes.
Join the discussion as we explore Prince Harry’s surprising critique, parents’ joys and woes, and strategies for tackling this new era of tech parenting.
In this episode:
- New legislation
- Australia's incoming social media ban cannot be considered overreach | Sky News
- Bullying over social media
- Parental reactions
- Prince Harry's comments
- Why Harry has it royally wrong on social media dangers | Daily Telegraph
- Implementation, digital IDs
- Navigating conversations with kids
- Acknowledging sadness and disappointment, FOMO
- The flow-on effect of the ban
- The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, Empower
Related Links:
- Super Solutions for Technology Troubles [Webinar]
- Unplug Childhood - join the village
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Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
once answers.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Now, the Australian Government, in concert with the Opposition, have
given Australian families a Christmas present. Won't really come in
until next Christmas, but we'll take what we can get.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
The government has legislated that kids.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Under the age of sixteen are not going to be
allowed to use social media well until they turn sixteen.
There's going to be all sorts of age verification bits
and pieces that are required so kids can prove it
they're over sixteen. Hallelujah, it's great news, Kylie. Funniest thing
happened just late last week. Prince Harry, father of two,
a five year old Archie and a two year old Lily.
Bet We don't talk about the Royals much on The
(00:47):
Happy Family's podcast, but he's had a word to say
about the Astraian government's decision to ban social media if
kids under sixteen.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Would you like to know what he said?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'm very interested because this guy is in touch with
the common man.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
He knows what the average parents dealing with.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
He was speaking in a New York conference of political and
business Big Weeks and he had this to say.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
By banning it and removing it creates all sorts of problems,
just as much as any advice to parents to say, well,
just don't let them on social media. Do you know
what happens when that happens. There's a massive falling out
between the parents and the child. Or then the child
goes to school and guess what happens. They're probably the
only person or maybe one of five percent in the
(01:25):
class that isn't on social media and they get bullied.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I'd be really interested to know if there was any
data or on the number of children being bullied because
they don't have social media compare who are being bullied
on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
And that's the degree to which the bullying is occurring,
as well the excessiveness of it, the fact that they
can't get away from it. There are two things that
stood out to me. Obviously, the bullying, as you've just
highlighted by the way, research does show that children are
more likely to be bullied because they have that on
one platform with them than not. Like, if you've got
a platform where people are being bullied and you take
(02:05):
it away, it doesn't lead to more bullying. Very very infrequently,
especially once it's a blanket ban. It's going to be
pretty rare for kids to be teasing other kids in
the playground and saying I've got social media and you don't,
You're a loser.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
But I thought the first part was the most interesting.
When parents ban children from social media, it causes a
massive falling out. Is there anyone on the planet that
knows more about massive falling outs, falling's out, having a
massive falling out with your family than Prince Harry just
asking asking for a friend.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Somebody brought it up.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I just think this is such ill considered advice from
a guy who's raising a five year old and a
three year old and he's clearly.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Not in touch.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
In the same conversation, he also confirmed that he doesn't
have any social media accounts. Interesting, very interesting, And I
guess the last point that I wanted to make when
I was thinking about it and talking to parents who
are do you know what, Overwhelmingly every parent that I've
spoken to about this has said, oh, hallelujah, bring it on,
and thank goodness. But I was thinking this idea that
(03:03):
it's going to cause a falling out, parenting causes a
falling out?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
If it doesn't, I think we're actually doing it wrong.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah, make your bed, tidy up your room, eat your vegetables,
go to sleep on time. No, you can't have multiple
piercings because you're seven. No tatoos until you're thirty. No drinking,
no vaping, no smoking, bed time. For goodness, like, kids
need limits, and every time there's going to be a
parent imposing a limit, it has the potential that it
(03:32):
could create a falling out. I don't get where Prince
Harry gets off thinking that he's got something to contribute
to the conversation in Australia when he's raising a five
year old in a three year old, and he's so
clearly he didn't have.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Anything to say in Australia. It was in New York.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, he was in New York, but he was talking
about the social media band because Australia has done it.
He also said this, This is a direct quote. So
I don't want to harp on this because today's podcast
is not about Prince Harry, but my goodness, I just
struggle with these guys.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
He said, it's already been into created to be addictive,
So by banning it and removing it creates all sorts
of problems.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
So banning it or removing it quote creates all sorts
of problems.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
That's intriguing. Did we just let the kids have alcohol
drugs because it's going to cause a big problem.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, Removing something that's addictive is usually a positive step,
is how I would respond to that.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And that's the nature, that's the issue of addictive stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So the man with those social media accounts and a
five year old, a three year old who has lived
a life of but jillion dollars of privilege from day
dot is telling us that our government's wrong. I just
find that absolutely fascinating, compelling, and I wanted to bring
it up because as we move into twelve months to
go until this ban takes place, there's plenty of people
who've got a whole.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Lot of questions.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
So I did have three questions for you, but you
actually kind of answered my first question, which was how
quickly will the legislation roll out? You suggest we're going
to be waiting for about twelve months.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Correct, that's over the next twelve months.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
The government needs to work out how the age verification
is going to work because people are providing sensitive information.
I don't actually know why this is such a big deal.
Like we provide sensitive information to banks, We provide so
much information to social media companies. But there's a lot
of people worried about privacy.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I think there's good cause for that, though in what way.
I just think that we have to hand out so
much of our private information in so many different directions.
And it's not us as adults who are doing it,
it's our kids who are having to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
So the Coalition got amendments through the into this bill,
and they essentially said that platforms can't compel users to
provide official identity documents like a driver's license or a passport,
and any data that's collected has to be deleted once
the age verification is completed, unless the user says no, no, no,
it's okay, you can hold on to it.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Again.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Everyone freaks out, we're giving everyone so much information. Hello,
Like you walk around with that phone in your pocket,
it's tracking everything you do. It knows where you've been,
it knows what convers you're having. It knows how you
face looks at different times when you're watching different reels.
Like we give them so much information. I don't get
why people are freaking out about it. We use the
service every single day, and if the tech giants wanted
(06:15):
to misuse our private information, they're not going to need
access to our identity documents anyway. They've got so much
databare anyway, back to your question. Over the next twelve months,
they're going to be working out how this will happen.
So there's I identification via documents, but you can also
do face ID and that sort of thing. They reckon
that there's some technology there that's going to help and
(06:36):
the good news. The good news is that in twelve
months time, if you're under sixteen.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You're off the platform. But we've got to wait utiln
next Christmas for that to happen.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, I'm guessing for kids who are not already on socials,
this could actually be. This could go two ways. As
a parent, I'm jumping for joy. Yeah, but I'm sure
there are plenty of kids who thought that next birthday
they were going to be able to, you know, get
on socials, and now they're finding out that they've got
to wait another two three years before that's going to
(07:04):
be a possibility.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
So our ten year old.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
She's disappointed because she knows she has to wait till
she's sixteen now, but she also knows she has to
wagh like there's no way around it.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Six years. I would love to think that we're in
a totally different place with this whole social media thing
in six years time.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So many parents got to be so happy about this, but.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I'm thinking that parents of fourteen and fifteen year olds
are pulling their hair out at the moment, wondering how
they're going to rescind this social media privilege from their
children until they're they're sixteen.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So easy. Two things.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Number one, they're not going to have a choice whether
they do or not, because the ID requirements will ensure
that your child cannot have that platform. Even if they
have had it, they'll get kicked off. You know, TikTok
deleted over a million Australian accounts last month because there
was they were all kids that are underage. Like, these
social media companies are absolutely mendation. I have no time
(08:01):
for them whatsoever, But you got to give credit where
credits due. They kicked a million accounts off with underage Australians.
I think that's brilliant. We're talking about under the age
of thirteen here. Wow, So that's great, But parents don't
need to worry about it because the technology will take
care of it for them. The kids will try to
log in, they'll be prompted to provide ID. If they
can't provide ID, they'll be given the opportunity to provide
(08:22):
facial recognition. If neither of those are provided, then they're
off the platform. If they try to provide them and
they don't have accurate data to get in, then again
the platforms just won't let them in. So finally, what
I've been advocating for for several years now, the technology
companies are going to be the ones that are responsible
for determining whether or not the kid can or cannot
use it based on whether they're sixteen or older. It's
(08:45):
the perfect solution because parents don't have to be the
bad guy here. Parents just have to say, oh, well,
I guess you have to wait till you're sixteen, So.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I guess My next question there is what does a
conversation with your child look like. There's actually probably two
conversations we could explore here. We've got a thirteen year
old who's just found out she's got a wait another
three years. But you've also got a fourteen or fifteen
year old who's already on there, and they're about to
(09:18):
lose that privilege. So what did those two conversations look
like in our home?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
There are two ways to answer this question. The first
one is just the shrug of the shoulder and say, hey,
there's nothing we can do about it, like you're going
to lose your social media privileges. And I've been talking
with our daughter, our fourteen year old, about the reality
that this is coming, and asking her if she wouldn't
mind getting off earlier. So far, no success, but the
conversation is happening.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I may have been proving to a conversation that has
highlighted that she is definitely listening. She had a friend
over the other day and she asked this frame.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
See, this is the thing, even before you're telling me
what she's asked. This is the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
As parents, we feel like we are bashing our head
gainst the wall and the kids are not listening. And
you're just telling me that you've heard this. I've got
a feeling that it's going to be good.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So she had a friend over the other day and
they were in the kitchen, and she asked her friend
if she'd heard about the social media band that was
coming in. Her friend's a year older than her, so
it's not really going to impact her at all by
the time it is enforced. But she said, my mom
is jumping up and down for joy, like she is
over the moon about this because she has younger sisters
(10:28):
coming through. And she said, yeah, my dad has asked
me to get off socials before the band comes in.
And she said, I don't really want to, but I
think I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Oh really, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And that was the conversation that they had, and both
girls acknowledged that they actually thought that it was a
good idea and that they would do something about it sooner.
As yet, there hasn't been any regal room. But the
reality it is our kids are having conversations.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I'm fascinating to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I think what's really important in this conversation is just
the reminder that our village matters, and the types of
friendships that we have make a difference to the conversations
that take place.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I want to go back to the question you asked,
and that at a second element, because I said, there's
two different ways that you can respond when you've got
a child who's upset because they don't want to lose
their social media And this is something that you have
illustrated and emphasized for me so many times, because I
do get a little bit carried away.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I do sort of just get to the point.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
But there's going to be some sadness, and I think
it's perfectly In fact, I think it's useful for us
as parents to look at our child and say, this
is really disappointing for you.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Like we're jumping for joy as parents, but.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
We get that this is something that's meaningful for you,
and it is going to cause an imposition. It's going
to change the way you relate to your friends and
the way you engage with your friends.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It's going to change the way they communicate with their friends.
Like this is huge for a teenager who has used
social media as their communication platform, all of a sudden
that has been taken away from them, and it feels like,
literally overnight, we've gone from having complete access to everyone
and everything and now we've got nothing.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I love it. I just love it. Twelve months That's
not how they see it, no, of course not.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And so how do we deal with that, because there
are going to be some kids who are really going
to struggle. You know, that whole idea of like fomo,
this is going to be a whole new level of it.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Go back to what you said, the whole village thing,
create community, but also go back to what I said,
you don't have to solve this now, it is what
it is. And instead you put your arm around and say,
I know, I know, I get it, I get how
frustrating it is. As much as this is a good thing,
it doesn't stop it hurting. It's kind of like going
to the dentist, right, going to the dentist is a
good thing, but we still don't look forward to it,
(12:53):
sorry to every dentist who's listening. Ultimately, rule of law,
it is the backbone of what it is to in
a civilized society. And there is nothing at all, nothing
at all that is inappropriate or unfair or draconian about
young children not being allowed to buy alcohol, cigarettes, or
get on their apps and gamble, or have tats all
(13:15):
over their bodies, or going to nightclubs or driver card.
That's not draconian, that's sensible. It's keeping them safe and
recognizing that they're not yet ready to make responsible choices
in environments that have impact.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
In their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Social media has impact, big impact. High impact comes with risks,
and I think the government's got this right in making
sure that there are appropriate safeguards to keep them safe.
I just can't wait to find out every platform that's band.
Also worth mentioning Kylie unfortunate insight that I had the
other day. Just because they're not going to be on
(13:52):
social media doesn't mean that they're not going to have
access to screens. They'll still be able to play games,
They'll still be able to use the Internet as much
as we all.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Out them to.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's just the social media band that's come in.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What do you think will be the flow and effect
from this decision.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I'm going to be really interested to see we're the
first nation in the world to do it. I'm hoping
that there are some people in universities that are collecting
some before and after data. I'm hoping that they've got
the foresight to have a look at what happens in trends,
what happens longeritudinly. What I think is going to happen
is that we are going to be protecting children's brains
at one of the most sensitive times in brain development,
(14:28):
during those tween and early teen years.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
And I think that it's going to be good for
our kids. Hopefully as well.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
They'll start spending less time on screens and more time
face to face with one another.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
To me, that's the ideal.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
So to take our messages this, if the kids are
sad about it, give them some empathy and some love
and so yeah, no, I get it, you were really
looking forward to it. And then talk about the advantages
and disadvantages with them. Just say what do you think
is going to be good about this? What do you
think is going to be bad about it? And work
out how you can support them.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So you would suggest using the three ease O.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
The three is an effective discipline.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Explore, explain and empowered feeling.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Explain why it's good, and then empower them to make
decisions over the next twelve months that will be in
their best interests.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
How good are you?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I think if I could just add one little thing,
When you think about something that you're addicted to, it's
not cold. Turkey doesn't usually ever work right, So as
a family, you've got twelve months to kind of help
your child work through this process. If this is going
to be a really big deal for them, and slow
and steady.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, those conversations are going to make a big difference.
If you like more information about having these conversations with
your kids, check out our webinar Super Solutions for Technology Troubles.
It's online at happyfamilies dot com dot IU. The Happy
Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
Back tomorrow with more to make your family happier.
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
once answers.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Now, the Australian Government, in concert with the Opposition, have
given Australian families a Christmas present. Won't really come in
until next Christmas, but we'll take what we can get.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
The government has legislated that kids.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Under the age of sixteen are not going to be
allowed to use social media well until they turn sixteen.
There's going to be all sorts of age verification bits
and pieces that are required so kids can prove it
they're over sixteen. Hallelujah, it's great news, Kylie. Funniest thing
happened just late last week. Prince Harry, father of two,
a five year old Archie and a two year old Lily.
Bet We don't talk about the Royals much on The
(00:47):
Happy Family's podcast, but he's had a word to say
about the Astraian government's decision to ban social media if
kids under sixteen.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Would you like to know what he said?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'm very interested because this guy is in touch with
the common man.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
He knows what the average parents dealing with.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
He was speaking in a New York conference of political and
business Big Weeks and he had this to say.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
By banning it and removing it creates all sorts of problems,
just as much as any advice to parents to say, well,
just don't let them on social media. Do you know
what happens when that happens. There's a massive falling out
between the parents and the child. Or then the child
goes to school and guess what happens. They're probably the
only person or maybe one of five percent in the
(01:25):
class that isn't on social media and they get bullied.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I'd be really interested to know if there was any
data or on the number of children being bullied because
they don't have social media compare who are being bullied
on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
And that's the degree to which the bullying is occurring,
as well the excessiveness of it, the fact that they
can't get away from it. There are two things that
stood out to me. Obviously, the bullying, as you've just
highlighted by the way, research does show that children are
more likely to be bullied because they have that on
one platform with them than not. Like, if you've got
a platform where people are being bullied and you take
(02:05):
it away, it doesn't lead to more bullying. Very very infrequently,
especially once it's a blanket ban. It's going to be
pretty rare for kids to be teasing other kids in
the playground and saying I've got social media and you don't,
You're a loser.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Not going to happen.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
But I thought the first part was the most interesting.
When parents ban children from social media, it causes a
massive falling out. Is there anyone on the planet that
knows more about massive falling outs, falling's out, having a
massive falling out with your family than Prince Harry just
asking asking for a friend.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Somebody brought it up.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I just think this is such ill considered advice from
a guy who's raising a five year old and a
three year old and he's clearly.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Not in touch.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
In the same conversation, he also confirmed that he doesn't
have any social media accounts. Interesting, very interesting, And I
guess the last point that I wanted to make when
I was thinking about it and talking to parents who
are do you know what, Overwhelmingly every parent that I've
spoken to about this has said, oh, hallelujah, bring it on,
and thank goodness. But I was thinking this idea that
(03:03):
it's going to cause a falling out, parenting causes a
falling out?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
If it doesn't, I think we're actually doing it wrong.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah, make your bed, tidy up your room, eat your vegetables,
go to sleep on time. No, you can't have multiple
piercings because you're seven. No tatoos until you're thirty. No drinking,
no vaping, no smoking, bed time. For goodness, like, kids
need limits, and every time there's going to be a
parent imposing a limit, it has the potential that it
(03:32):
could create a falling out. I don't get where Prince
Harry gets off thinking that he's got something to contribute
to the conversation in Australia when he's raising a five
year old in a three year old, and he's so
clearly he didn't have.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Anything to say in Australia. It was in New York.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, he was in New York, but he was talking
about the social media band because Australia has done it.
He also said this, This is a direct quote. So
I don't want to harp on this because today's podcast
is not about Prince Harry, but my goodness, I just
struggle with these guys.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
He said, it's already been into created to be addictive,
So by banning it and removing it creates all sorts
of problems.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
So banning it or removing it quote creates all sorts
of problems.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
That's intriguing. Did we just let the kids have alcohol
drugs because it's going to cause a big problem.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, Removing something that's addictive is usually a positive step,
is how I would respond to that.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And that's the nature, that's the issue of addictive stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So the man with those social media accounts and a
five year old, a three year old who has lived
a life of but jillion dollars of privilege from day
dot is telling us that our government's wrong. I just
find that absolutely fascinating, compelling, and I wanted to bring
it up because as we move into twelve months to
go until this ban takes place, there's plenty of people
who've got a whole.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Lot of questions.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
So I did have three questions for you, but you
actually kind of answered my first question, which was how
quickly will the legislation roll out? You suggest we're going
to be waiting for about twelve months.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Correct, that's over the next twelve months.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
The government needs to work out how the age verification
is going to work because people are providing sensitive information.
I don't actually know why this is such a big deal.
Like we provide sensitive information to banks, We provide so
much information to social media companies. But there's a lot
of people worried about privacy.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I think there's good cause for that, though in what way.
I just think that we have to hand out so
much of our private information in so many different directions.
And it's not us as adults who are doing it,
it's our kids who are having to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
So the Coalition got amendments through the into this bill,
and they essentially said that platforms can't compel users to
provide official identity documents like a driver's license or a passport,
and any data that's collected has to be deleted once
the age verification is completed, unless the user says no, no, no,
it's okay, you can hold on to it.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Again.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Everyone freaks out, we're giving everyone so much information. Hello,
Like you walk around with that phone in your pocket,
it's tracking everything you do. It knows where you've been,
it knows what convers you're having. It knows how you
face looks at different times when you're watching different reels.
Like we give them so much information. I don't get
why people are freaking out about it. We use the
service every single day, and if the tech giants wanted
(06:15):
to misuse our private information, they're not going to need
access to our identity documents anyway. They've got so much
databare anyway, back to your question. Over the next twelve months,
they're going to be working out how this will happen.
So there's I identification via documents, but you can also
do face ID and that sort of thing. They reckon
that there's some technology there that's going to help and
(06:36):
the good news. The good news is that in twelve
months time, if you're under sixteen.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You're off the platform. But we've got to wait utiln
next Christmas for that to happen.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, I'm guessing for kids who are not already on socials,
this could actually be. This could go two ways. As
a parent, I'm jumping for joy. Yeah, but I'm sure
there are plenty of kids who thought that next birthday
they were going to be able to, you know, get
on socials, and now they're finding out that they've got
to wait another two three years before that's going to
(07:04):
be a possibility.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
So our ten year old.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
She's disappointed because she knows she has to wait till
she's sixteen now, but she also knows she has to
wagh like there's no way around it.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Six years. I would love to think that we're in
a totally different place with this whole social media thing
in six years time.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So many parents got to be so happy about this, but.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I'm thinking that parents of fourteen and fifteen year olds
are pulling their hair out at the moment, wondering how
they're going to rescind this social media privilege from their
children until they're they're sixteen.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So easy. Two things.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Number one, they're not going to have a choice whether
they do or not, because the ID requirements will ensure
that your child cannot have that platform. Even if they
have had it, they'll get kicked off. You know, TikTok
deleted over a million Australian accounts last month because there
was they were all kids that are underage. Like, these
social media companies are absolutely mendation. I have no time
(08:01):
for them whatsoever, But you got to give credit where
credits due. They kicked a million accounts off with underage Australians.
I think that's brilliant. We're talking about under the age
of thirteen here. Wow, So that's great, But parents don't
need to worry about it because the technology will take
care of it for them. The kids will try to
log in, they'll be prompted to provide ID. If they
can't provide ID, they'll be given the opportunity to provide
(08:22):
facial recognition. If neither of those are provided, then they're
off the platform. If they try to provide them and
they don't have accurate data to get in, then again
the platforms just won't let them in. So finally, what
I've been advocating for for several years now, the technology
companies are going to be the ones that are responsible
for determining whether or not the kid can or cannot
use it based on whether they're sixteen or older. It's
(08:45):
the perfect solution because parents don't have to be the
bad guy here. Parents just have to say, oh, well,
I guess you have to wait till you're sixteen, So.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I guess My next question there is what does a
conversation with your child look like. There's actually probably two
conversations we could explore here. We've got a thirteen year
old who's just found out she's got a wait another
three years. But you've also got a fourteen or fifteen
year old who's already on there, and they're about to
(09:18):
lose that privilege. So what did those two conversations look
like in our home?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
There are two ways to answer this question. The first
one is just the shrug of the shoulder and say, hey,
there's nothing we can do about it, like you're going
to lose your social media privileges. And I've been talking
with our daughter, our fourteen year old, about the reality
that this is coming, and asking her if she wouldn't
mind getting off earlier. So far, no success, but the
conversation is happening.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I may have been proving to a conversation that has
highlighted that she is definitely listening. She had a friend
over the other day and she asked this frame.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
See, this is the thing, even before you're telling me
what she's asked. This is the thing.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
As parents, we feel like we are bashing our head
gainst the wall and the kids are not listening. And
you're just telling me that you've heard this. I've got
a feeling that it's going to be good.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So she had a friend over the other day and
they were in the kitchen, and she asked her friend
if she'd heard about the social media band that was
coming in. Her friend's a year older than her, so
it's not really going to impact her at all by
the time it is enforced. But she said, my mom
is jumping up and down for joy, like she is
over the moon about this because she has younger sisters
(10:28):
coming through. And she said, yeah, my dad has asked
me to get off socials before the band comes in.
And she said, I don't really want to, but I
think I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Oh really, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And that was the conversation that they had, and both
girls acknowledged that they actually thought that it was a
good idea and that they would do something about it sooner.
As yet, there hasn't been any regal room. But the
reality it is our kids are having conversations.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I'm fascinating to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I think what's really important in this conversation is just
the reminder that our village matters, and the types of
friendships that we have make a difference to the conversations
that take place.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I want to go back to the question you asked,
and that at a second element, because I said, there's
two different ways that you can respond when you've got
a child who's upset because they don't want to lose
their social media And this is something that you have
illustrated and emphasized for me so many times, because I
do get a little bit carried away.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I do sort of just get to the point.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
But there's going to be some sadness, and I think
it's perfectly In fact, I think it's useful for us
as parents to look at our child and say, this
is really disappointing for you.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Like we're jumping for joy as parents, but.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
We get that this is something that's meaningful for you,
and it is going to cause an imposition. It's going
to change the way you relate to your friends and
the way you engage with your friends.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It's going to change the way they communicate with their friends.
Like this is huge for a teenager who has used
social media as their communication platform, all of a sudden
that has been taken away from them, and it feels like,
literally overnight, we've gone from having complete access to everyone
and everything and now we've got nothing.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I love it. I just love it. Twelve months That's
not how they see it, no, of course not.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And so how do we deal with that, because there
are going to be some kids who are really going
to struggle. You know, that whole idea of like fomo,
this is going to be a whole new level of it.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Go back to what you said, the whole village thing,
create community, but also go back to what I said,
you don't have to solve this now, it is what
it is. And instead you put your arm around and say,
I know, I know, I get it, I get how
frustrating it is. As much as this is a good thing,
it doesn't stop it hurting. It's kind of like going
to the dentist, right, going to the dentist is a
good thing, but we still don't look forward to it,
(12:53):
sorry to every dentist who's listening. Ultimately, rule of law,
it is the backbone of what it is to in
a civilized society. And there is nothing at all, nothing
at all that is inappropriate or unfair or draconian about
young children not being allowed to buy alcohol, cigarettes, or
get on their apps and gamble, or have tats all
(13:15):
over their bodies, or going to nightclubs or driver card.
That's not draconian, that's sensible. It's keeping them safe and
recognizing that they're not yet ready to make responsible choices
in environments that have impact.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
In their lives.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Social media has impact, big impact. High impact comes with risks,
and I think the government's got this right in making
sure that there are appropriate safeguards to keep them safe.
I just can't wait to find out every platform that's band.
Also worth mentioning Kylie unfortunate insight that I had the
other day. Just because they're not going to be on
(13:52):
social media doesn't mean that they're not going to have
access to screens. They'll still be able to play games,
They'll still be able to use the Internet as much
as we all.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Out them to.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's just the social media band that's come in.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What do you think will be the flow and effect
from this decision.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I'm going to be really interested to see we're the
first nation in the world to do it. I'm hoping
that there are some people in universities that are collecting
some before and after data. I'm hoping that they've got
the foresight to have a look at what happens in trends,
what happens longeritudinly. What I think is going to happen
is that we are going to be protecting children's brains
at one of the most sensitive times in brain development,
(14:28):
during those tween and early teen years.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
And I think that it's going to be good for
our kids. Hopefully as well.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
They'll start spending less time on screens and more time
face to face with one another.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
To me, that's the ideal.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
So to take our messages this, if the kids are
sad about it, give them some empathy and some love
and so yeah, no, I get it, you were really
looking forward to it. And then talk about the advantages
and disadvantages with them. Just say what do you think
is going to be good about this? What do you
think is going to be bad about it? And work
out how you can support them.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So you would suggest using the three ease O.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
The three is an effective discipline.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Explore, explain and empowered feeling.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Explain why it's good, and then empower them to make
decisions over the next twelve months that will be in
their best interests.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
How good are you?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
I think if I could just add one little thing,
When you think about something that you're addicted to, it's
not cold. Turkey doesn't usually ever work right, So as
a family, you've got twelve months to kind of help
your child work through this process. If this is going
to be a really big deal for them, and slow
and steady.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, those conversations are going to make a big difference.
If you like more information about having these conversations with
your kids, check out our webinar Super Solutions for Technology Troubles.
It's online at happyfamilies dot com dot IU. The Happy
Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
Back tomorrow with more to make your family happier.
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