September 16, 2025 • 15 mins
Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen.
KEY POINTS
- Why modern apps use gambling-style tactics and AI to keep kids scrolling.
- How heavy screen use weakens the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that manages focus, planning, and emotional control.
- Simple, science-backed steps to reset family screen habits and return kids to the “driver’s seat.”
- Practical advice for conversations that don’t turn into shouting matches.
- Why social connection doesn’t have to mean social media.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“It’s not your child’s fault—or yours. These products are built to be addictive. The goal is to put your child back in the driver’s seat, not the screen.” — Dr Wayne Warburton
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Dr Wayne Warburton’s books Growing Up Fast and Furious and The Importance of Media Literacy
- HappyFamilies.com.au for family screen-plan templates and parenting resources
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Choose the right moment: Discuss screens only when everyone is calm and offline.
- Externalise the problem: Frame it as “us versus the tech designers,” not parent versus child.
- Co-create a plan: Involve kids in setting screen limits and consequences; write it down.
- Build healthy replacements: Help kids identify offline ways to cope with boredom, anxiety, or stress.
- Model balance: Show your own healthy screen habits—your example speaks louder than rules.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Doctor Wayne Warburton is a professor of developmental psychology at
mcquarie University and he's also a registered psychologist. His research
centers on issues related to media use, aggression and behavioral
addictions like screen disorders. He's the co author of the
books Growing Up, Fast and Furious and the Importance of
(00:26):
Media Literacy, and of several statements by international panels of
experts on topics around media impacts on young people. Wayne's
done some great work with some commercial TV stations including
Channel seven, as well as having a really touching Australian
story on the ABC that followed two great teenage boys
who are struggling with screen disorder as he worked on
(00:47):
them with an intervention program. And today on the Happy
Families podcast, we talk about his research and the ways
that what he's discovered through empirical data collection can help
us to make our families do better around this endemic
and never endingly challenging screen issue. Stay with us. Hello,
(01:10):
and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Real Parenting Solutions
every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name's
doctor Justin Colson and Way and it's such a delight
to have you on the podcast. I've wanted to talk
to you here for such a long time and we
finally made it happen.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah. Look, it's wonderful to be here justin thanks for
the chat. And this is something that's of great interest
to so many Australian families. You know, when I go
to school, so many parents come up and say, this
is like the big issue at our house.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
As parents, we know that this stuff's bad for our kids,
but it's so hard to effectively navigate it and have
the conversations. So my question is really vague and nebulous.
I guess I'm just generally asking why is this so hard?
It's hard like no other thing that parents have ever
encountered seems to be.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I think it's hard because the products that we use
are designed to be addictive. And I don't mean that
in this kind of handwaving way. The people who make
them they use neuroscience and they design their products so
that they engage the brain in a way that you
see it engage in other sorts of addictions. And when
you see the changes of the brain, they're the same
as the ones you see with drug addiction and other
(02:17):
types of addiction. That's why they make the products, and
just to make it even more difficult. Once they build
in all of these things that kind of keep the
brain's reward system going and disable the sort of natural
breaks on behavior in the brain, and building all the
things we know from gambling and neuroscience. They then have
an AI that monitors every user in real time and
(02:39):
use as the information that they get from that device
to decide what you're going to see. If that AI
thinks your attention is waning, then they're going to give
you a pop up, a banner or something on the
game that's going to be irresistible to you that just
keeps you at the screen because they work on what's
called the attention economy, which is monetizing your attention, and
(03:00):
it is not a good business model if people don't
spend a lot of time at the screen. The business
model only works if they have you at the screen
for long periods of time, and the best way to
do that and to stay competitive is to use addictive technology.
So it's not the fall of kids, it's not the
fault of parents, you know. This is just stuff that's
designed to be addictive, and that's what makes it so hard.
(03:22):
For all of us to leave it aside.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
What happens when the pin goes off, or when the
phone rings, or when you're scrolling through that Instagram or
TikTok feed and you see something that kicks off the
cascade of neurotransmitters that pull you in.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, I'm going to do this on two levels and
try not to confuse everybody. On one level, you know,
your brain is wide up to capture particular sounds and
colors and things like that. And so if something that
we're hardwired to get our attention gets our attention, then
sorts of brains are registered site and the sound kind
(04:00):
of pull us in. But at another level, it's also
linked to a reward because you hear that sound and
you know, oh, this could mean I'm getting another like
this could mean that there's another upgrade for my game.
This means something else cool it's happening, So I better
attend to my phone and get that reward. And I
think one of the key things about the sorts of
(04:22):
screen products that we use is that they engage a
part of the brain called the limbic system, where we
know we process rewards and we feel things, and you know,
we have parts of the fight or flight system, and
everything that happens is kind of automatic. We don't have
any control over it. And that's the part of the brain.
It's mostly active. When you're reeling through those tick cock
clips or playing a very repetitive game, or doing a
(04:45):
whole lot of other things. There's not much going on
in terms of heavy thinking and being in conscious control
of your life. And when you look at the part
of your brain where you have attension of focus, where
you manage your behavior, where you're and as your emotions,
where you plan for the future sol of complex problems,
that's at the front of the brain, and a part
(05:06):
of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. That part of
the brain is mostly turned off because you're not really
doing any heavy lifting for any of that sort of stuff.
The device is your memory. The device is providing all
of the stimulation. You don't have to do any of
the hard work. It's doing it for you. And so
in the moment, what that means is that you can't
(05:29):
have less access to those higher functions, which is why
we see those kind of meltdowns when you take the
screen away, or there's difficulty managing emotions when the person's
on the screen, because that part of the brain is
not as active. In the long term, the brainers use
it or lose it organ and when a part of
the brain isn't being used, it just starts to lose
(05:50):
structure and function. And that's what we see in kids
who are addicted to screens compared to other kids. They
have a loss of gray matter, they have a loss
of particularly in that prefrontal cortex where you have those
high functions. You see a change in the density of
the cortex. You see a lot of white matter instability,
which probably means nothing to anyone who's listening, but it's
(06:10):
not a good thing. And it means the brain is
not working particularly efficiently, and it's not connected particularly well.
You know, it's starting to lose function. And because of
those things, you know, the kids that I see her
have a screen addiction. They have trouble managing their emotions,
increasing trouble, increasing trouble managing their behavior, increasing problems with
attention and focus. You know, they're working memory and processing
(06:33):
speed isn't as good. They have more trouble planning for
the future, thinking through the consequences, managing their time. All
those kinds of higher functions because on age, the brain
not doing that stuff when you're in front of the screen.
But the more they do it, the more they lose
that capacity to do it. Of course, it's reversible, right,
you start to use that part of the brain again,
(06:54):
it starts to grow again. So it's not like the
end of the universe, particularly if you're young. But it
kind of explains some of the problems that parents have
in the home. When you take the screen away, you
you try to communicate, or when screen starts to become
a big problem in the house, you know, it's very
difficult to cut through, right, because all of those things
that require that kind of rational conversation they're kind of
(07:16):
out the window because that rational part of the brain,
that's the one that's suffering.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, So let's say I'm a parent who doesn't
have a PhD in psychology. I'm not sitting down and
dealing with screen addiction on a daily basis and guiding
people through it. If I'm a regular mum or dad
and my child's screen use is concerning me, how do
I explain to them the things that you've just talked
about in a way that gets through to them. I mean,
how do you convince a thirteen year old, or a
(07:50):
seventeen year old, or frankly, a twenty three year old
that their screen use is concerning, that it's problematic, that
it's compulsive, that's leading to negative outcomes, and it's because
their brain been rewired and hijacked by these multi billion,
multi trillion dollar behemits that have hijacked neuroscience to their
own selfish and mendacious ends.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Well, I love the way you said that, justin Sorry,
I'm just fangirling right now. That's beautifully put. The first
thing I'd say is that you don't have the conversation
when they're kind of in screen world. Of course, you write,
what can they get off the screen? We need to
talk when you're off the screen. It takes a while
your brain to kind of return to normal. So what
(08:30):
you want to do is to have it, you know,
sometime later when everybody is calm and when you're able
to kind of have that rational conversation. And the thing
that I think is most helpful is that you externalize
the problem. And by that I mean the problem is
the screen and the people who make it. It's not
that you're a bad kid, it's not that this is
(08:51):
you behaving in a difficult way. It's because you know,
the screen has become a problem because of the way
people design it. And I think if you come from
that position, it's much easier to have that conversation with
saying what can we do? You know, you and us
against these makers of the screens, manufacturers of the screen,
(09:12):
so that we're kind of resisting what it's trying to
do to you and so many other millions of kids
around the world. You know, what can we do to
be the strong ones who put you back in control
so that you're the one who's calling your shots in
your life and not the screen. Because in the end,
my program is about the parenting is about it's about
putting you back in the driver's seat. I would say
(09:34):
one other thing, I have never seen a kid with
a screen addiction who when I ask them what is
happening in your brain at the time you go to
the screen, I've never heard a different answer that I'm
feeling anxious, I'm feeling stressed, or I've got a negative
emotion like I'm feeling sad or bored or angry, And
when I go to the screen, it always makes me
(09:55):
feel better. It's my go to thing. And I think
part of the conversation has to be, what's another way
that doesn't involve a screen that kind of helps you
when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling stressed, when you're
feeling those negative emotions. What are other ways that we
can manage this so that the screen's not the go
to thing. I think that's really helpful and anything a
(10:19):
parent can do to be using that front part of
the brain, because if you're doing those opposite things like attending, focusing,
having abstract conversations, talking to people you know in the
offline world, if you are doing things that encourage mindfulness,
if you're doing complex problem solving, all of those things
(10:39):
are engaged in that front brain. And when you're engaging
that front brain, really your conscious self is in control
of your life. It's you who's driving the bus. So
that's what we're trying to do. We want to say,
let's get the screen into the passenger seat and let's
get you back into the driver's seat.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I want to ask you about an issue that's been
occurring in my family around this ongoing screen issue, and
that is that my daughter says this is how I
communicate with my friends, and by reducing or removing screens,
or specifically by removing the social media platforms that are used,
they don't text. Texting is inconvenient, it doesn't work for them,
(11:15):
it's not consistent with how they want to communicate, and
so by removing them from social media platforms, we actually
in some ways sabotage their relationships and leave them feeling isolated.
How do you respond to that?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I think that's a crocload. Do you know why? Because
we have so many ways to communicate the problem with
social media. I mean, there are a lot of problems
with social media. It's an addictive technology, is one. So
we have probably six six to nine percent of people
have a problem with how much they're on it. There
are problems with social comparison, there's problems with mental health,
(11:51):
and the list is very long. Okay, so there are problems,
but we have all of these alternatives. I mean that
we don't have the same problems, for example, just video chatting,
face timing, doing all of these other things. There are
so many other ways to communicate. I think as time
goes on, the evidence that screens can cause difficulties becomes
(12:12):
more compelling, and the idea that we should protect younger
brains from them until to a higher age becomes more
convincing to me as time goes on. I don't think
I would have said that five years ago because the
evidence was still coming in. But now the evidence is
kind of in and it's pretty strong.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, I was ahead of the curve on this one,
and I knew that I was doing it without the evidence.
I knew that it was sort of the eighteen month
to two year thing. But I've been saying for as
long as I can remember three three at the earliest,
like just minimize or delete screens from kids' lives from
at least the age of three. They just don't need them.
All right, Our time's all but up, and this has
gone way too fast, and I feel like we should
(12:51):
go into partnership and do a podcast every week because
I love this discussion so very much. You're on the
recorders saying that you're pretty big on family media plans.
You want, you want families to do that, but everyone
needs to be able to work together on this. I've
never seen family media plans work. It's not that I'm
against the concept. I just think that it's one of
those things where even if you agree on a family
(13:13):
media plan, I reckon within two weeks you're going to
be yelling at each other again because the family media
plan isn't being followed. What do you do around family
media plans that makes it work?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
The most important thing is that your child has a
sense of agency, so they're part of the process of
putting you to a plan that they think is fair.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
So if they just don't think that you're right, which
is the case for so many families that because you're
just like no, you.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Can't reach an agreement, then the plan's never going to
work right right, You need to reach an agreement where
everybody is on the same piece of paper. Often writing
it down on a piece of paper is helpful, but
in it you need to have the kind of the
expectations and the things that are going to be the
consequences of things. And it might be I'm really happy
for you don't have an hour and a half on screens,
(14:00):
you know, provided you've done your homework in your chores,
for example. But if that doesn't happen, then the consequence
will be that we're going to turn the internet off
in the house for twenty four hours and you control
the modem from your wife, you know, the Wi Fi
from modem from your phone, for example. And I think
that those plans have a lot better chance of success
(14:21):
because you've all agreed on this. This is what we've
agreed to do, and this is the agreed consequence. And
it's not a massive consequence. It's not like I'm taking
your phone away forever. It's just we're turning the Internet
off for a day. Typically, those plans work a whole
lot better.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Oh my goodness. Professor Wayne Warburton, Professor of Developmental Psychology
at mcquarie University, registered psychologist, a researcher who focuses on
media use, aggression and behavioral addictions like screen disorders. We
could have talked for days. There's so many questions we
didn't have time for. We'll definitely do this again and
get Wayne back. What a great conversation. The Happy Family's
podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. More
(14:57):
information and resources to make your family happier are avail
at happy families dot com dot ummm
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Hmm
Doctor Wayne Warburton is a professor of developmental psychology at
mcquarie University and he's also a registered psychologist. His research
centers on issues related to media use, aggression and behavioral
addictions like screen disorders. He's the co author of the
books Growing Up, Fast and Furious and the Importance of
(00:26):
Media Literacy, and of several statements by international panels of
experts on topics around media impacts on young people. Wayne's
done some great work with some commercial TV stations including
Channel seven, as well as having a really touching Australian
story on the ABC that followed two great teenage boys
who are struggling with screen disorder as he worked on
(00:47):
them with an intervention program. And today on the Happy
Families podcast, we talk about his research and the ways
that what he's discovered through empirical data collection can help
us to make our families do better around this endemic
and never endingly challenging screen issue. Stay with us. Hello,
(01:10):
and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Real Parenting Solutions
every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name's
doctor Justin Colson and Way and it's such a delight
to have you on the podcast. I've wanted to talk
to you here for such a long time and we
finally made it happen.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah. Look, it's wonderful to be here justin thanks for
the chat. And this is something that's of great interest
to so many Australian families. You know, when I go
to school, so many parents come up and say, this
is like the big issue at our house.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
As parents, we know that this stuff's bad for our kids,
but it's so hard to effectively navigate it and have
the conversations. So my question is really vague and nebulous.
I guess I'm just generally asking why is this so hard?
It's hard like no other thing that parents have ever
encountered seems to be.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I think it's hard because the products that we use
are designed to be addictive. And I don't mean that
in this kind of handwaving way. The people who make
them they use neuroscience and they design their products so
that they engage the brain in a way that you
see it engage in other sorts of addictions. And when
you see the changes of the brain, they're the same
as the ones you see with drug addiction and other
(02:17):
types of addiction. That's why they make the products, and
just to make it even more difficult. Once they build
in all of these things that kind of keep the
brain's reward system going and disable the sort of natural
breaks on behavior in the brain, and building all the
things we know from gambling and neuroscience. They then have
an AI that monitors every user in real time and
(02:39):
use as the information that they get from that device
to decide what you're going to see. If that AI
thinks your attention is waning, then they're going to give
you a pop up, a banner or something on the
game that's going to be irresistible to you that just
keeps you at the screen because they work on what's
called the attention economy, which is monetizing your attention, and
(03:00):
it is not a good business model if people don't
spend a lot of time at the screen. The business
model only works if they have you at the screen
for long periods of time, and the best way to
do that and to stay competitive is to use addictive technology.
So it's not the fall of kids, it's not the
fault of parents, you know. This is just stuff that's
designed to be addictive, and that's what makes it so hard.
(03:22):
For all of us to leave it aside.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
What happens when the pin goes off, or when the
phone rings, or when you're scrolling through that Instagram or
TikTok feed and you see something that kicks off the
cascade of neurotransmitters that pull you in.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, I'm going to do this on two levels and
try not to confuse everybody. On one level, you know,
your brain is wide up to capture particular sounds and
colors and things like that. And so if something that
we're hardwired to get our attention gets our attention, then
sorts of brains are registered site and the sound kind
(04:00):
of pull us in. But at another level, it's also
linked to a reward because you hear that sound and
you know, oh, this could mean I'm getting another like
this could mean that there's another upgrade for my game.
This means something else cool it's happening, So I better
attend to my phone and get that reward. And I
think one of the key things about the sorts of
(04:22):
screen products that we use is that they engage a
part of the brain called the limbic system, where we
know we process rewards and we feel things, and you know,
we have parts of the fight or flight system, and
everything that happens is kind of automatic. We don't have
any control over it. And that's the part of the brain.
It's mostly active. When you're reeling through those tick cock
clips or playing a very repetitive game, or doing a
(04:45):
whole lot of other things. There's not much going on
in terms of heavy thinking and being in conscious control
of your life. And when you look at the part
of your brain where you have attension of focus, where
you manage your behavior, where you're and as your emotions,
where you plan for the future sol of complex problems,
that's at the front of the brain, and a part
(05:06):
of the brain called the prefrontal cortex. That part of
the brain is mostly turned off because you're not really
doing any heavy lifting for any of that sort of stuff.
The device is your memory. The device is providing all
of the stimulation. You don't have to do any of
the hard work. It's doing it for you. And so
in the moment, what that means is that you can't
(05:29):
have less access to those higher functions, which is why
we see those kind of meltdowns when you take the
screen away, or there's difficulty managing emotions when the person's
on the screen, because that part of the brain is
not as active. In the long term, the brainers use
it or lose it organ and when a part of
the brain isn't being used, it just starts to lose
(05:50):
structure and function. And that's what we see in kids
who are addicted to screens compared to other kids. They
have a loss of gray matter, they have a loss
of particularly in that prefrontal cortex where you have those
high functions. You see a change in the density of
the cortex. You see a lot of white matter instability,
which probably means nothing to anyone who's listening, but it's
(06:10):
not a good thing. And it means the brain is
not working particularly efficiently, and it's not connected particularly well.
You know, it's starting to lose function. And because of
those things, you know, the kids that I see her
have a screen addiction. They have trouble managing their emotions,
increasing trouble, increasing trouble managing their behavior, increasing problems with
attention and focus. You know, they're working memory and processing
(06:33):
speed isn't as good. They have more trouble planning for
the future, thinking through the consequences, managing their time. All
those kinds of higher functions because on age, the brain
not doing that stuff when you're in front of the screen.
But the more they do it, the more they lose
that capacity to do it. Of course, it's reversible, right,
you start to use that part of the brain again,
(06:54):
it starts to grow again. So it's not like the
end of the universe, particularly if you're young. But it
kind of explains some of the problems that parents have
in the home. When you take the screen away, you
you try to communicate, or when screen starts to become
a big problem in the house, you know, it's very
difficult to cut through, right, because all of those things
that require that kind of rational conversation they're kind of
(07:16):
out the window because that rational part of the brain,
that's the one that's suffering.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, So let's say I'm a parent who doesn't
have a PhD in psychology. I'm not sitting down and
dealing with screen addiction on a daily basis and guiding
people through it. If I'm a regular mum or dad
and my child's screen use is concerning me, how do
I explain to them the things that you've just talked
about in a way that gets through to them. I mean,
how do you convince a thirteen year old, or a
(07:50):
seventeen year old, or frankly, a twenty three year old
that their screen use is concerning, that it's problematic, that
it's compulsive, that's leading to negative outcomes, and it's because
their brain been rewired and hijacked by these multi billion,
multi trillion dollar behemits that have hijacked neuroscience to their
own selfish and mendacious ends.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Well, I love the way you said that, justin Sorry,
I'm just fangirling right now. That's beautifully put. The first
thing I'd say is that you don't have the conversation
when they're kind of in screen world. Of course, you write,
what can they get off the screen? We need to
talk when you're off the screen. It takes a while
your brain to kind of return to normal. So what
(08:30):
you want to do is to have it, you know,
sometime later when everybody is calm and when you're able
to kind of have that rational conversation. And the thing
that I think is most helpful is that you externalize
the problem. And by that I mean the problem is
the screen and the people who make it. It's not
that you're a bad kid, it's not that this is
(08:51):
you behaving in a difficult way. It's because you know,
the screen has become a problem because of the way
people design it. And I think if you come from
that position, it's much easier to have that conversation with
saying what can we do? You know, you and us
against these makers of the screens, manufacturers of the screen,
(09:12):
so that we're kind of resisting what it's trying to
do to you and so many other millions of kids
around the world. You know, what can we do to
be the strong ones who put you back in control
so that you're the one who's calling your shots in
your life and not the screen. Because in the end,
my program is about the parenting is about it's about
putting you back in the driver's seat. I would say
(09:34):
one other thing, I have never seen a kid with
a screen addiction who when I ask them what is
happening in your brain at the time you go to
the screen, I've never heard a different answer that I'm
feeling anxious, I'm feeling stressed, or I've got a negative
emotion like I'm feeling sad or bored or angry, And
when I go to the screen, it always makes me
(09:55):
feel better. It's my go to thing. And I think
part of the conversation has to be, what's another way
that doesn't involve a screen that kind of helps you
when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling stressed, when you're
feeling those negative emotions. What are other ways that we
can manage this so that the screen's not the go
to thing. I think that's really helpful and anything a
(10:19):
parent can do to be using that front part of
the brain, because if you're doing those opposite things like attending, focusing,
having abstract conversations, talking to people you know in the
offline world, if you are doing things that encourage mindfulness,
if you're doing complex problem solving, all of those things
(10:39):
are engaged in that front brain. And when you're engaging
that front brain, really your conscious self is in control
of your life. It's you who's driving the bus. So
that's what we're trying to do. We want to say,
let's get the screen into the passenger seat and let's
get you back into the driver's seat.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I want to ask you about an issue that's been
occurring in my family around this ongoing screen issue, and
that is that my daughter says this is how I
communicate with my friends, and by reducing or removing screens,
or specifically by removing the social media platforms that are used,
they don't text. Texting is inconvenient, it doesn't work for them,
(11:15):
it's not consistent with how they want to communicate, and
so by removing them from social media platforms, we actually
in some ways sabotage their relationships and leave them feeling isolated.
How do you respond to that?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I think that's a crocload. Do you know why? Because
we have so many ways to communicate the problem with
social media. I mean, there are a lot of problems
with social media. It's an addictive technology, is one. So
we have probably six six to nine percent of people
have a problem with how much they're on it. There
are problems with social comparison, there's problems with mental health,
(11:51):
and the list is very long. Okay, so there are problems,
but we have all of these alternatives. I mean that
we don't have the same problems, for example, just video chatting,
face timing, doing all of these other things. There are
so many other ways to communicate. I think as time
goes on, the evidence that screens can cause difficulties becomes
(12:12):
more compelling, and the idea that we should protect younger
brains from them until to a higher age becomes more
convincing to me as time goes on. I don't think
I would have said that five years ago because the
evidence was still coming in. But now the evidence is
kind of in and it's pretty strong.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, I was ahead of the curve on this one,
and I knew that I was doing it without the evidence.
I knew that it was sort of the eighteen month
to two year thing. But I've been saying for as
long as I can remember three three at the earliest,
like just minimize or delete screens from kids' lives from
at least the age of three. They just don't need them.
All right, Our time's all but up, and this has
gone way too fast, and I feel like we should
(12:51):
go into partnership and do a podcast every week because
I love this discussion so very much. You're on the
recorders saying that you're pretty big on family media plans.
You want, you want families to do that, but everyone
needs to be able to work together on this. I've
never seen family media plans work. It's not that I'm
against the concept. I just think that it's one of
those things where even if you agree on a family
(13:13):
media plan, I reckon within two weeks you're going to
be yelling at each other again because the family media
plan isn't being followed. What do you do around family
media plans that makes it work?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
The most important thing is that your child has a
sense of agency, so they're part of the process of
putting you to a plan that they think is fair.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
So if they just don't think that you're right, which
is the case for so many families that because you're
just like no, you.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Can't reach an agreement, then the plan's never going to
work right right, You need to reach an agreement where
everybody is on the same piece of paper. Often writing
it down on a piece of paper is helpful, but
in it you need to have the kind of the
expectations and the things that are going to be the
consequences of things. And it might be I'm really happy
for you don't have an hour and a half on screens,
(14:00):
you know, provided you've done your homework in your chores,
for example. But if that doesn't happen, then the consequence
will be that we're going to turn the internet off
in the house for twenty four hours and you control
the modem from your wife, you know, the Wi Fi
from modem from your phone, for example. And I think
that those plans have a lot better chance of success
(14:21):
because you've all agreed on this. This is what we've
agreed to do, and this is the agreed consequence. And
it's not a massive consequence. It's not like I'm taking
your phone away forever. It's just we're turning the Internet
off for a day. Typically, those plans work a whole
lot better.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Oh my goodness. Professor Wayne Warburton, Professor of Developmental Psychology
at mcquarie University, registered psychologist, a researcher who focuses on
media use, aggression and behavioral addictions like screen disorders. We
could have talked for days. There's so many questions we
didn't have time for. We'll definitely do this again and
get Wayne back. What a great conversation. The Happy Family's
podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. More
(14:57):
information and resources to make your family happier are avail
at happy families dot com dot ummm
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Hmm
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.