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January 17, 2023 13 mins

Summer Series

Topics included in this episode -

  • Journalist, broadcaster and TV host Amanda Keller sat down with Justin for a lightning round - a series of short, sharp questions about parenting life.

Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Time poor parent who just wants answers Now.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy
Families dot com, dot you, dad to six daughters and
the author of What Is It Now? My eighth book
is coming out in just a couple of months time,
The Parenting Revolution. Can't wait to talk to you about that.
Amanda Keller is one of Australia's most loved media personalities.
You can hear her if you live in Sydney on

(00:31):
WSFM with Jonesy and Amanda in the mornings. She's been
all over the TV for years and years and years.
And Amanda joined me for a Lightning Round just a
little while ago. I wanted to share with you the
things that we talked about today. Here we are with
Amtda Keller in a Lightning Round replay. Amada, thanks for

(00:52):
joining me on the Happy Families Lightning Round.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Thrilled to be here.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Tell us how many kids you have in how old
they are? Amanda, I have.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Two sons, Liam is twenty one and Jack is nineteen.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Now a well publicized story that you had these kids
through IVF and it was a very very long process
for you. Do you have a favorite child.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I don't have a favorite child, and if I did,
it probably would wax and weigh in and change from
day to day. Liam is very much like my husband.
He's I think, quite linear, clear thinking, droll and dry
in his humor. Jack is probably more like me and
up and down and hilarious, and so I kind of

(01:36):
give in to him.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Liam is wanting of nothing. Jack is wanting of everything.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
And I remember growing up and never getting what I wanted,
so often I'll give in to Jack.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
I love your insight that he's like you because you're hilarious.
I love that you own that. That's great. Who do
you love the most?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I didn't even think I said that that's terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
I picked it up. You love the most your partner,
Harley or your kids?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Different kinds of love. Probably if a train was coming
at us, I'd grab the kids.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Don't tell Harley, I I love it all right now.
This is obviously a tougher question because of your fertility journey.
Ideal number of kids though, I think two.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I think three means a bigger car. I think two,
and you know, harder holidays, all that kind of stuff.
I think too.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yeah, yeah, two is convenient, that's for sure. How do
you rate yourself as a parent, Amanda, give yourself a
score out of ten.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Overall, I'd say I'd be a seven.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
What's something great that your parents did that you've tried
to continue in your parenting.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
My mother and I used to laugh at it, and
I used to sort of sneer at it. Mum always
would say, get your piece of paper in the world's
your oyster, because she missed out on a university education
and so academic things mattered a lot to her. I
was pushed to study hard at Carlingford High School, my
local public high school, and I did study hard. And

(02:55):
I think I've in a way pushed my children. If
I had a child that wasn't reading, or a child
that didn't do their homework, I'd really struggle with that.
So I think I've taken my mum's love of apostrophes
and punctuation and love of education and try, I think
subconsciously or maybe consciously instilled that in them.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Got a fun question for you, Who's the better parent?
You are?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Harley High and I tag team with our parenting. I
was thinking the other day, I was asking him something
about that. I said, do you think I'm too I
shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Doing this or this?

Speaker 3 (03:30):
I thought, how hard it is for single parents who
don't have anyone to bounce that stuff off. That's really
that would be very hard because I can't tell whether
I'm being too hard or too indulgent or whatever it is.
I have no gauge on that. So he's much more
pragmatic than I am, and he's much more just getting
on with it than I am. I'm sort of full

(03:51):
of bustering at the word, around the details and around
the fluffy bits, whereas he's pretty straightforward.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
So between the two of us and we make a
whole parent.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
I love your empathy, and I also love the way
you completely avoided deciding who was better out of you
and Harley. A ha ha me, Okay, what's the hardest thing,
Amanda Kella about being a parent?

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I found teaching them to drive one of the hardest things. Yes,
so hard.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yes that was terrible, and Harley didn't want to do it,
and I didn't want to do it. But it's made
me a terrible passenger. I used to not care about
being a passenger, and now I'm even in an uber,
I'm jumpy and I'm looking at where.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
The curb is. I found that bit really hard.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
And there's a guy that a whole of my friends
were using who would help them kids get the hours
up without you having to do it. I love the
idea of being in a car with my sons and driving,
but when they're learning to drive, it's not that it's
I wasn't calm.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
I made them stressed. It was terrible. I think I
found that one of the hardest bits.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
I'm a parenting expert. I'm not supposed to get mad
at my kids. I'm supposed to know how to do
all this sort of stuff. But as I've taught my
kids to drive, I've found that my capacity to be
patient and kind when my life is in danger every
fourteen seconds is almost zero. And I've found things coming
out of my mouth that I just don't I don't
say these things. I especially don't say these things about

(05:13):
all to my children, and sure enough I was doing it.
I love your answer on that question. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
I think I called out, oh, you're freaking idiot in
my own child.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
It wasn't someone out the window. It was the beginning
side the car. Amanda now that your kids are of age.
If you could spend an hour with your children at
any age, what age would you choose?

Speaker 2 (05:36):
And why is it just an hour?

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Do you know what? Yes, but we've had other people
who have extended it for a week, let's say, a
period of time.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
I think only because I'm in the hormonal drop zone
of my children leaving home.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I love.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
I have mixed emotions when I see little toddlers at
the beach with their parents and the toddler reaches up
to hold mum's hand and they're running around with.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Their little baby voices and they sit on your lap.
I miss that. I just miss it.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
I think probably one day of that would be great.
And then one day maybe at ten and eight, where
they're funny and it's easy, and you go, oh.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
We're in the drop zone. I think ten and eight
of the drop zone. That was brilliant.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
But we just recently went to Hamilton Island for a
holiday and my brother came over and he took my
sons for a beer, and I thought, how great that
they're at an age now where they can be seen
as adults. That was a wonderful thing. And I like
us all sitting down around a table. Now, I'll do anything.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I'll book a holiday to get us away where they
know no one else and the four of us have
to sit and have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Is
my dream. I'll go to a rack for a holiday
if I get to do that.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
So a snippet of them being babies, a snippet of
those charming, hilarious years eight and ten, and a snippet
of now, and if that could make up one day,
that would be my dream.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Well, it's certainly cheating, but I love your answer. What's
the ultimate joy for you as a parent?

Speaker 3 (07:19):
For many years, I didn't think anyone would call me mum?
And I still think that, even though they're nineteen and
twenty one. I still sometimes think. I can hear a
key in the door, and I play this game with
myself and I think the person who comes through here
is my child and I'm still blown away by it.
I'm still blown away by it. So that's something amazing

(07:44):
that I'll never get over.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Well, you got me, you got me weeping? Well done?
What's that thing, Amanda that your parents always said that
you swore you would never say, but it keeps up
out of your mouth?

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Oh, there's a few of those. You know. It's not
even a phrase.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
It's just when I'd go to do something and Mom
would say, have you thought about this? And I'd say, no,
I don't want to do that, or you know, even
if it's something as simple as take a card again, No, God,
you might be a bit cold.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
No, I'm not going to do that. You're sure you
won't be cold. And I hated it when Mum did it.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
I do it all the time, and even now when
I speak to them if there's something about applying for
a course or something, the form they have to fill
out at the end of every conversation, I almost have
to stitch my mouth closed. So I don't nag them
because I hated it happening to me, and I try
so hard not to be that person, but I can't

(08:41):
help myself.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
What's the boys favorite thing to do with you?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
I don't say a favorite thing, but we're at our best.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I think when we're all sitting around a table having
a meal, and it's best if it's in a restaurant
so no one can leave and no one can be
on their phones or do any of that. Where captive
if we had to go into witness protection or something
quite happy locked in.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
So that's my favorite thing to do with them.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Theirs to do with me is maybe when we're sitting
around watching a football match on the telly something like that,
or we're watching them play football.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
That's where we're at our best.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
I think my mum's vision of heaven is all six
of her kids sitting around the dining table sharing a meal,
just like you described.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
I often I'm away. I'm going to cry again.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I've got a couple of friends who've had some cancer
battles and they had to do a vision board. And
a friend her children, they were same age as mine.
They are probably only five and six at the time.
Her vision board was watching her boys play rugby. And
she's fine now. But every match I'd stand next to
her watching the game, and I think, no one here

(09:47):
knows what this means to any We all have our
own story of what we think as we're watching that
game and what it means to us and those you
know sitting around the table watching them play football. The
detail of life is small. The big dreams aren't big,
they're small. The carrots we need to dangle for ourselves

(10:09):
are small and that's where the richness of life is.
It's in the details, you know, that's the stuff.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
And that three questions and then this lightning round wraps
up number one. What are you most looking forward to
as a parent.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
The words that want to come out that will come
out are you know, healthy, smart, empathetic. But I just
want that door to open and these fabulous sons walk in.
That's all I want is these fabulous boys that I'm
proud of, who love me and I love them, and
that's that's all I require of them.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
I love talking to you. I love talking to made.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Me cry a lot today, justin it's not fair.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
If you could go back to you as a young mum. Well,
I know you've said you weren't such a young mum
because the IVF thing took so long, But.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
One hundred and fifty eight years old you were.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
You were still an inexperienced mum. If you could go
back to you being so inexperienced and having one of
those tough moments, what advice now would you give yourself
and hope that you would listen to.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Don't be scared. You're not going to break them.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Sure they may fall down the stairs on your watch,
but you're not going to break them and it's going
to be okay. You can't stuff this up. You're not
going to stuff this up. Don't fear It'll all work
out okay, because I think that's what I felt, that
how responsible I was to not stuff them up. But

(11:35):
we're all going to stuff them up in some way,
and that's the joy of life.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
That's why as we're talking, you.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Know, you talk about this with your friends, your family,
how crazy families are.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
How can you not have that in your own family?

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Amanda? Final question, what's been your biggest win as a mum?

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I don't even know how to answer that.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
I think my biggest win there was an article recently
in the Women's Weekly where both my sons gave quotes
because you don't know how they perceive you, and I
know that I'm loved and I know that they love
their family, but they both said such lovely things that
when you see it written down, you think, oh, I

(12:14):
have done a good job. Who knew that that would
have to come from the Women's Weekly? Sometimes you need
to see it in a different context and seeing the
written words they'd taken the time to answer for a
journalist and to say those lovely things, it just absolute
meant the world to me.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
This has been such a beautiful lightning round, Amanda, Thank
you for making our day loved.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
That was Amanda Keller, one of Australia's best known female
radio TV presenters and just a fabulous, wonderful lightning round. Hey,
that's it for today's podcast. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you've been enjoying the Happy Families summer podcast series.
Kylie joins me again in the studio tomorrow for more.

(13:00):
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