June 5, 2023 • 15 mins
Justin & Kylie discuss episode 1 of Parental Guidance Season Two
Topics included in this episode -
- Online safety
- Families were challenged to have their children play a game online
- Why kids lie about what they're doing online
- How to have the 'online safety' conversation with your kids
- Talk early. Talk often.
Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
answers Now.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Well, Kylie, last night we finally, we finally got to
see what I've been getting so excited about for I
feel like it's been a year now. It has been
season two of Bradle Guidance. Episode one. It was on
the TV channel nine. If you missed it, watch out.
There are spoilers all through this podcast episode. You can
catch up on the nine now app. Hopefully, though, you
got to see it, and we're going to talk about
(00:31):
it a lot in this podcast episode.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Kylie, first question for you, first impressions of the show.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You've just watched an episode. How are you feeling? That
was a longer pause I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I'm trying to work out how to put it all
into the.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Succinct few words even told you I was going to
ask this question.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I am completely and utterly in.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Awe of these families who have literally open themselves up
to the nation so that we can have these really
important conversations.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So brave, really brave, and they're good families.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Right, Let's be clear, They've they've gone through psychological testing
and so on to make sure that They're robust and
can take the pressure of doing this.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
They are good families.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I am confronted and deeply challenged by the role I
play in my children's lives and the need to protect them.
And I'm riveted. Yeah, I want to see the next
episode now.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I want to pick up on what you just said.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
This desire to protect Watching last night's episode just creates
every instinctive, impulsive what do I need to do to
keep my kids safe kind of thing, doesn't, I like,
just blows it up in a couple of different ways.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Great parents some really interesting challenges.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
We started nice and softly with the photo shoot, but
then we got to know the families as well, so
we had the Lighthouse parents.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Light House parenting is about arming our children with tools
to make good decisions in life when we're not able
to be there.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
We have the out black parents, black parents.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
The kids get to learn so many lives skills that
other people just never learned.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
The honest parent, honest parenting is not holding back.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I'm very brutally honest, and the gentle the gentle parents.
Speaker 6 (02:28):
Gentle parenting is about letting children be children and respecting
them as people.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
And I mean everyone has the moment to shine, and
everyone also has their flaws and foibles exposed to the nation.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That's what I love about the show because it's it's
it's showing us the realness of family life. You know,
in so many ways, we have these massive wins and
then we're like plummeted to the bottom of the ocean
with an absolute doozy where we just feel like we've
got it so wrong that every parent every day.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, for me, as I watched this, there are probably
two really big things to talk about, and I don't
think that we can do both of them in one episode.
But let me ask you, what would your things be
that we should be covering off today.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Well, one, we would be talking about online safety, like yes, holy.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Smile, like half the episode and it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Was there a single eye in the house that was
not wet.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I sat through it once already and I was still
reaching for the tissues watching it.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I was like, I did notice you handed the box
to me, But I heard the sniffles.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I knew I took two tissues.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
But I think the other thing that really kind of
confronted the room was our lighthouse parents and their lack
of supervision at the beach.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
We are literally on the beach, so the beach has
become our backyard.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Jase, can you see the kids, let's going for a
swim between the flags. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
We are outnumbered so we can't focus all our attention
on each individual kid, which means we had to let
the other kids have their own freedom and their own space.
So we're happy for the two older ones to go
swimming by themselves.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
So that were my two things as well.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I think that they each deserve an episode on this
podcast is so much there. I'm going to do my
very best to have a chat with somebody from Australian
Swimming or Surf Life Saving or something like that. We'll
see if we can get them into the podcast for Thursday.
But today let's talk about the online safety stuff. If
you missed it, here's what happened.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
So parents, we challenged you to give your kids an
hour to play an online game popular amongst primary school children.
The aim of the game is to trade with other
players to get better items, and the trading relies on interactions.
If you don't chat, you don't progress. We wanted to
(04:49):
see what they did when a stranger approached them to
replicate a real world situation. The stranger was an actor
under the direction of an undercover AFP agent.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
This also happened.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Give Pepper one hour of screen time to play online game.
As Lighthouse parents, we probably give our kids a lot
more freedoms in the outside world than we do online.
So my friends play it, and I sometimes play at
my friend's house. So just one hour, we don't give
an opportunity to do games online.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Your online name is Pizza and you're trying to establish
a relationship with funny animal. Maybe start by introducing yourself.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Her name's Lilly, she says, her name's Pepper.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
That's information she shouldn't be giving out. She's taught me.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I something's already. She's being very open with you.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
Ask if she knows the local shopping center.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
She says she does.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Okay, keep building the relationship. See if she'd like to
meet you at the shopping center.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Oh my god, she said yes.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So we saw this happen, and in some ways, the
light House family kind of dodged a bullet, if I
can use that metaphor, because Pepper stepped out of the
room and started talking to her parents straight away. After this,
she came out to explain what happened, because she told
us very awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
You know, she was actually really excited that she made friends.
Like she legitimately came to and said, I had a
great time.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I made friends even.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Without the visual she said that that just sends she
was down my spine.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Oh yeah, so much.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I thought it was great. How some of the kids
they totally lied. And this is a really important idea,
right because if your kids are taught that they have
to tell the truth all the time, but sometimes it
actually pays a lie. Like when you're online you're being
approached by a stranger.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Great idea to use the name Elizabeth.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
See if you can convince him to tell you his
name for the trade, I can't give him anything.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
She tell me her name Elizabeth. Brilliant, genius.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And the fact that it wasn't just another male name,
like he literally changed his identity in such a signal
effiicant way in one one simple thing.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
What I love about this is obviously really scary, a
very emotional moment for everybody in the room, for every
family watching and seeing this innocent little kid just trying
to make a friend and giving away literally everything.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Let's meet up at the shops.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
But her saving grace was just how innocent she was
in that and her willingness to chat with mum and
dad about it.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
She walked straight and said I made a friend, and
that's the thing that saves her right. Yeah, But the
imploruse of the conversation, I mean, just wow, we had
the gentle parents' kids. They ran away like they didn't
even do what the game is about, but they stayed safe,
And I reckon there's great.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Value in that one.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I think our kids know who's safe or not. And
if they don't know if someone's safe, then they don't engage.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
No answer.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
You could try a different approach, maybe change your avatar
to be similar, try a boy based avatar. Becoming similar
might make it easier to a stylish a relationship.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Go far away. He's fast right here, he won't get
me still nothing.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
It doesn't look like he's very familiar with the game.
A typical offender would probably move on by now to
another victim.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Haha. Think you can form al fly away from here.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You look at their age though as much younger. They're
much younger, and avoidance was a very clever attack totally,
but it was obviously even, you know, seeing like they
had no idea. You could see that in the character
on the screen.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And the last one, of course, was the one that
really rocked the honest parent cats world.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Maybe take a guess on what stage she's in and
we can try to narrow down her location. Now we
know what stay, tell her you're in the same state.
To build a relationship based on commonalities. Maybe pull up
maps in another window and we can try to narrow
down where she is. Search for family friendly restaurants in
(09:04):
the city. Stuff kids like to eat, pizza, burger restaurants. Yeah,
try that one. See she knows it. Okay, she's just
revealed her street address.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Ah, what's all this?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
That's not my text, that's other people. So you haven't
talked at all.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Okay, good, Okay, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
None of you can beat me up anymore than I'm
beating myself up right now. So no one's beating you.
Everyone feels for you right now.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I just ask you, what did it feel like being
in the room.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
It was it was just so emotional.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You were emotional. I saw that ice cream.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Yeah, and Alie was sobbing.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like we got some shots of Alley where she was
kind of had a makeup done again because she was
sobbing and kat Oh you heard her as she walked out.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
She almost couldn't breathe.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
She was so distressed by what had happened, and cut
that with the fact that her daughter a led about
what went wrong.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
This is where the danger lies, Kylie.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
This is where the dangel lies, because the kids do
something they know they shouldn't do, and then they don't
tell us, which gets them into We have in more trouble,
not necessarily with us, but with people who have bad
motives for them.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
We can't protect them if we don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I loved the conversation that Jane was able to have
following that experience, and the lesson that we can learn
as parents about having conversations with our kids without having
an agenda. How important it is to kind of just
come in from a neutral place to be able to
have those important conversations. And I wonder if she had
(10:42):
been able to do that, whether the conversation would have
gone differently.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I think it would have.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Jane's overseas at the moment, we've got to have her
back on the podcast. She's a regular guest on the
podcast Anyway, we'll have her back on the podcast in
a couple of weeks towards the end of the series
so that we can debrief around that. Kylie, we need
to talk about what to do with your kids and
how to have the conversations.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I think as a parent, I've always felt like if
I just limit my kids' interactions, then I can keep
them safe. That's been my thought process. But last night
just blew that out of the water in such a
vivid contrast to what we've experienced.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So we just generally don't let our kids, especially our
young kids, play games. But as I watched that, it
made me wonder have we had enough conversations with our
youngest children? And this, I guess shows the floor in
our thinking as parents because I do what I do
and we talk about this stuff all the time, and
we have pretty open conversations with the kids. But it
made me think, I'm not sure if we've been there.
And what I love about this show is the kids
(11:48):
have watched it. Now we have the perfect platform. So
here are my tips. Can I dive into a couple.
Number One, We've got to make sure that we talk
early and we talk often. We just have to be
reminding the kids consistently, and when we I recommend showing
them what happened, watch this episode with them, let them
(12:08):
know this is why it matters, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
The other night, our nine year old wanted to go
out on the electric scooter. Oh, yes, she loves the
electric scooter. And I said to her, well, before you go,
I just needed to go put your shoes on and
a helmet. And she lost it. I wearing a helmet
and herts under my chin and shoes won't do anything.
And she really gave me all the reasons why it
(12:32):
just was not a waste her time. She just wanted
to get out there. And I said, can I just
talk to you for a minute, And her emotions were
too big, and she pushed past me and she just said,
you know no. Anyway, I walked out about three minutes later,
and she had shoes on and a helmet, and I
said to her, Emily, I said, I'm so grateful that
you did that. I said, can I just tell you
why this is so important? And I said, when I
(12:53):
was a young girl, I said, I had a friend
who was riding a skateboard and they were holding on
to the back of the car. Now the car was
going about the same speed that her electric scooter was going,
and as a result, he fell off and received brain
damage and has never been the same since. And I said, so,
the only reason mummy's asking him to do this is
(13:14):
to protect you. I want to keep you safe. And
she looked at me and she kind of went do
he really get hurt? And I said, yeah, he did.
And I said I would be so sad if that
happened to you, And she said okay, as she rode
off on a scooter with a helmet and shoes on.
Just giving kids the opportunity to recognize and see that
(13:35):
bad things can happen even when we don't think they will,
it's really important. And that conversation that we saw come
to life on the screen last night really hit home.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yeah, we need to do a couple of other practical things,
you know that We sent the children to a private
space where they could play with parents not around.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It was interesting though, I noticed with the outback parents,
while they in a private space, it was still a
very open space. But then you looked at the lighthouse
parents and she went into a private room and closed
the door like that felt so ominous to.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Me as I was watching.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Yeah, yeah, so we need to make sure that we
know a that where the kids are, be what they're doing,
see that we have the opportunity to supervise and monitor.
And once again I just want to emphasize talk early
and talk often. This stuff matters. This gets the very core,
I mean, the devastating reality. You get to see it
(14:32):
in the show in the episode blows me away. And
like I said, we'll talk to Detective Superintendent Jane Crossling
from ACE, the aust Center to Counter Child Exploitation led
by the Federal Police in a couple of weeks time.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
She shared some numbers. Yeah, twenty two thousand reports a year,
which equates to between four and five hundred reports per.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Week, and they're only the ones that are report.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But she acknowledged that it is completely underrepresent of what's
going on out there.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Really really important conversation. We hope that you're loving parental guidance.
We hope that this podcast is a nice supplement to it.
We'd love your feedback podcasts at happyfamilies.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Dot com dot you.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Tomorrow we do a recap of episode two on the
Happy Families podcast. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
Justin Roland from Bridge Media, thank you for all of
your great work, especially when we're so busy with parental
guidance Jr. Craig Bruce is the one who well he's
the executive producer, the one who helps us to map
all this out and make it work.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
We appreciate you as well, Craig.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
And if you'd like more information about making your family
happy app keeping your kids safe, check out my brand new.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Book, The Parenting Revolution.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
It's available wherever you get your books, or visit us
at Happy families dot com dot you
It's the Happy Families podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
answers Now.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Well, Kylie, last night we finally, we finally got to
see what I've been getting so excited about for I
feel like it's been a year now. It has been
season two of Bradle Guidance. Episode one. It was on
the TV channel nine. If you missed it, watch out.
There are spoilers all through this podcast episode. You can
catch up on the nine now app. Hopefully, though, you
got to see it, and we're going to talk about
(00:31):
it a lot in this podcast episode.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Kylie, first question for you, first impressions of the show.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You've just watched an episode. How are you feeling? That
was a longer pause I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I'm trying to work out how to put it all
into the.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Succinct few words even told you I was going to
ask this question.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I am completely and utterly in.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Awe of these families who have literally open themselves up
to the nation so that we can have these really
important conversations.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
So brave, really brave, and they're good families.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Right, Let's be clear, They've they've gone through psychological testing
and so on to make sure that They're robust and
can take the pressure of doing this.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
They are good families.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I am confronted and deeply challenged by the role I
play in my children's lives and the need to protect them.
And I'm riveted. Yeah, I want to see the next
episode now.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I want to pick up on what you just said.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
This desire to protect Watching last night's episode just creates
every instinctive, impulsive what do I need to do to
keep my kids safe kind of thing, doesn't, I like,
just blows it up in a couple of different ways.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Great parents some really interesting challenges.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
We started nice and softly with the photo shoot, but
then we got to know the families as well, so
we had the Lighthouse parents.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Light House parenting is about arming our children with tools
to make good decisions in life when we're not able
to be there.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
We have the out black parents, black parents.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
The kids get to learn so many lives skills that
other people just never learned.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
The honest parent, honest parenting is not holding back.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I'm very brutally honest, and the gentle the gentle parents.
Speaker 6 (02:28):
Gentle parenting is about letting children be children and respecting
them as people.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
And I mean everyone has the moment to shine, and
everyone also has their flaws and foibles exposed to the nation.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That's what I love about the show because it's it's
it's showing us the realness of family life. You know,
in so many ways, we have these massive wins and
then we're like plummeted to the bottom of the ocean
with an absolute doozy where we just feel like we've
got it so wrong that every parent every day.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, for me, as I watched this, there are probably
two really big things to talk about, and I don't
think that we can do both of them in one episode.
But let me ask you, what would your things be
that we should be covering off today.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Well, one, we would be talking about online safety, like yes, holy.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Smile, like half the episode and it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Was there a single eye in the house that was
not wet.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I sat through it once already and I was still
reaching for the tissues watching it.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I was like, I did notice you handed the box
to me, But I heard the sniffles.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I knew I took two tissues.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
But I think the other thing that really kind of
confronted the room was our lighthouse parents and their lack
of supervision at the beach.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
We are literally on the beach, so the beach has
become our backyard.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Jase, can you see the kids, let's going for a
swim between the flags. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
We are outnumbered so we can't focus all our attention
on each individual kid, which means we had to let
the other kids have their own freedom and their own space.
So we're happy for the two older ones to go
swimming by themselves.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
So that were my two things as well.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I think that they each deserve an episode on this
podcast is so much there. I'm going to do my
very best to have a chat with somebody from Australian
Swimming or Surf Life Saving or something like that. We'll
see if we can get them into the podcast for Thursday.
But today let's talk about the online safety stuff. If
you missed it, here's what happened.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
So parents, we challenged you to give your kids an
hour to play an online game popular amongst primary school children.
The aim of the game is to trade with other
players to get better items, and the trading relies on interactions.
If you don't chat, you don't progress. We wanted to
(04:49):
see what they did when a stranger approached them to
replicate a real world situation. The stranger was an actor
under the direction of an undercover AFP agent.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
This also happened.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Give Pepper one hour of screen time to play online game.
As Lighthouse parents, we probably give our kids a lot
more freedoms in the outside world than we do online.
So my friends play it, and I sometimes play at
my friend's house. So just one hour, we don't give
an opportunity to do games online.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Your online name is Pizza and you're trying to establish
a relationship with funny animal. Maybe start by introducing yourself.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Her name's Lilly, she says, her name's Pepper.
Speaker 6 (05:33):
That's information she shouldn't be giving out. She's taught me.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I something's already. She's being very open with you.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
Ask if she knows the local shopping center.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
She says she does.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Okay, keep building the relationship. See if she'd like to
meet you at the shopping center.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Oh my god, she said yes.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So we saw this happen, and in some ways, the
light House family kind of dodged a bullet, if I
can use that metaphor, because Pepper stepped out of the
room and started talking to her parents straight away. After this,
she came out to explain what happened, because she told
us very awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
You know, she was actually really excited that she made friends.
Like she legitimately came to and said, I had a
great time.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I made friends even.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Without the visual she said that that just sends she
was down my spine.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Oh yeah, so much.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I thought it was great. How some of the kids
they totally lied. And this is a really important idea,
right because if your kids are taught that they have
to tell the truth all the time, but sometimes it
actually pays a lie. Like when you're online you're being
approached by a stranger.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Great idea to use the name Elizabeth.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
See if you can convince him to tell you his
name for the trade, I can't give him anything.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
She tell me her name Elizabeth. Brilliant, genius.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
And the fact that it wasn't just another male name,
like he literally changed his identity in such a signal
effiicant way in one one simple thing.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
What I love about this is obviously really scary, a
very emotional moment for everybody in the room, for every
family watching and seeing this innocent little kid just trying
to make a friend and giving away literally everything.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Let's meet up at the shops.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
But her saving grace was just how innocent she was
in that and her willingness to chat with mum and
dad about it.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
She walked straight and said I made a friend, and
that's the thing that saves her right. Yeah, But the
imploruse of the conversation, I mean, just wow, we had
the gentle parents' kids. They ran away like they didn't
even do what the game is about, but they stayed safe,
And I reckon there's great.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Value in that one.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I think our kids know who's safe or not. And
if they don't know if someone's safe, then they don't engage.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
No answer.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
You could try a different approach, maybe change your avatar
to be similar, try a boy based avatar. Becoming similar
might make it easier to a stylish a relationship.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Go far away. He's fast right here, he won't get
me still nothing.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
It doesn't look like he's very familiar with the game.
A typical offender would probably move on by now to
another victim.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Haha. Think you can form al fly away from here.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You look at their age though as much younger. They're
much younger, and avoidance was a very clever attack totally,
but it was obviously even, you know, seeing like they
had no idea. You could see that in the character
on the screen.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And the last one, of course, was the one that
really rocked the honest parent cats world.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Maybe take a guess on what stage she's in and
we can try to narrow down her location. Now we
know what stay, tell her you're in the same state.
To build a relationship based on commonalities. Maybe pull up
maps in another window and we can try to narrow
down where she is. Search for family friendly restaurants in
(09:04):
the city. Stuff kids like to eat, pizza, burger restaurants. Yeah,
try that one. See she knows it. Okay, she's just
revealed her street address.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Ah, what's all this?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
That's not my text, that's other people. So you haven't
talked at all.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Okay, good, Okay, that's cool.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
None of you can beat me up anymore than I'm
beating myself up right now. So no one's beating you.
Everyone feels for you right now.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I just ask you, what did it feel like being
in the room.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
It was it was just so emotional.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You were emotional. I saw that ice cream.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Yeah, and Alie was sobbing.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like we got some shots of Alley where she was
kind of had a makeup done again because she was
sobbing and kat Oh you heard her as she walked out.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
She almost couldn't breathe.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
She was so distressed by what had happened, and cut
that with the fact that her daughter a led about
what went wrong.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
This is where the danger lies, Kylie.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
This is where the dangel lies, because the kids do
something they know they shouldn't do, and then they don't
tell us, which gets them into We have in more trouble,
not necessarily with us, but with people who have bad
motives for them.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
We can't protect them if we don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I loved the conversation that Jane was able to have
following that experience, and the lesson that we can learn
as parents about having conversations with our kids without having
an agenda. How important it is to kind of just
come in from a neutral place to be able to
have those important conversations. And I wonder if she had
(10:42):
been able to do that, whether the conversation would have
gone differently.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I think it would have.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Jane's overseas at the moment, we've got to have her
back on the podcast. She's a regular guest on the
podcast Anyway, we'll have her back on the podcast in
a couple of weeks towards the end of the series
so that we can debrief around that. Kylie, we need
to talk about what to do with your kids and
how to have the conversations.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I think as a parent, I've always felt like if
I just limit my kids' interactions, then I can keep
them safe. That's been my thought process. But last night
just blew that out of the water in such a
vivid contrast to what we've experienced.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So we just generally don't let our kids, especially our
young kids, play games. But as I watched that, it
made me wonder have we had enough conversations with our
youngest children? And this, I guess shows the floor in
our thinking as parents because I do what I do
and we talk about this stuff all the time, and
we have pretty open conversations with the kids. But it
made me think, I'm not sure if we've been there.
And what I love about this show is the kids
(11:48):
have watched it. Now we have the perfect platform. So
here are my tips. Can I dive into a couple.
Number One, We've got to make sure that we talk
early and we talk often. We just have to be
reminding the kids consistently, and when we I recommend showing
them what happened, watch this episode with them, let them
(12:08):
know this is why it matters, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
The other night, our nine year old wanted to go
out on the electric scooter. Oh, yes, she loves the
electric scooter. And I said to her, well, before you go,
I just needed to go put your shoes on and
a helmet. And she lost it. I wearing a helmet
and herts under my chin and shoes won't do anything.
And she really gave me all the reasons why it
(12:32):
just was not a waste her time. She just wanted
to get out there. And I said, can I just
talk to you for a minute, And her emotions were
too big, and she pushed past me and she just said,
you know no. Anyway, I walked out about three minutes later,
and she had shoes on and a helmet, and I
said to her, Emily, I said, I'm so grateful that
you did that. I said, can I just tell you
why this is so important? And I said, when I
(12:53):
was a young girl, I said, I had a friend
who was riding a skateboard and they were holding on
to the back of the car. Now the car was
going about the same speed that her electric scooter was going,
and as a result, he fell off and received brain
damage and has never been the same since. And I said, so,
the only reason mummy's asking him to do this is
(13:14):
to protect you. I want to keep you safe. And
she looked at me and she kind of went do
he really get hurt? And I said, yeah, he did.
And I said I would be so sad if that
happened to you, And she said okay, as she rode
off on a scooter with a helmet and shoes on.
Just giving kids the opportunity to recognize and see that
(13:35):
bad things can happen even when we don't think they will,
it's really important. And that conversation that we saw come
to life on the screen last night really hit home.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yeah, we need to do a couple of other practical things,
you know that We sent the children to a private
space where they could play with parents not around.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It was interesting though, I noticed with the outback parents,
while they in a private space, it was still a
very open space. But then you looked at the lighthouse
parents and she went into a private room and closed
the door like that felt so ominous to.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Me as I was watching.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Yeah, yeah, so we need to make sure that we
know a that where the kids are, be what they're doing,
see that we have the opportunity to supervise and monitor.
And once again I just want to emphasize talk early
and talk often. This stuff matters. This gets the very core,
I mean, the devastating reality. You get to see it
(14:32):
in the show in the episode blows me away. And
like I said, we'll talk to Detective Superintendent Jane Crossling
from ACE, the aust Center to Counter Child Exploitation led
by the Federal Police in a couple of weeks time.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
She shared some numbers. Yeah, twenty two thousand reports a year,
which equates to between four and five hundred reports per.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Week, and they're only the ones that are report.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But she acknowledged that it is completely underrepresent of what's
going on out there.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Really really important conversation. We hope that you're loving parental guidance.
We hope that this podcast is a nice supplement to it.
We'd love your feedback podcasts at happyfamilies.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Dot com dot you.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Tomorrow we do a recap of episode two on the
Happy Families podcast. The Happy Families podcast is produced by
Justin Roland from Bridge Media, thank you for all of
your great work, especially when we're so busy with parental
guidance Jr. Craig Bruce is the one who well he's
the executive producer, the one who helps us to map
all this out and make it work.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
We appreciate you as well, Craig.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
And if you'd like more information about making your family
happy app keeping your kids safe, check out my brand new.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Book, The Parenting Revolution.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
It's available wherever you get your books, or visit us
at Happy families dot com dot you
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