June 28, 2023 • 14 mins
Justin & Kylie reflect on their week and determine what they can do better next time
- Emotion coaching
- Justin is run off his feet
- Definition of joy
- Kylie has a profound moment with her daughter
Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just once answers.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Now, if you're one of those parents who wishes so
much that you could spend time at the beach and
experiencing the holidays, and you can't find the joy, see
the beauty that's around you in those small moments, because
sometimes that's all you're going to have.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
and Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
School holidays week one are over for Northern Territory of
Queensland and Victoria. The Act and WA and New South
Wales holidays start at the end of today. Except for
those lucky kids whose parents gave in when the kids said,
but Mum, no one else is going today. We don't
do anything except watch movies. It's the last day of
school South Australia and Tazzy one week to go. The
countdown is on. I'm here with my wife and co
(00:51):
hosts of this podcast, missus Happy Families. Kylie. What's the latest, Kylie?
Today's I'll do better tomorrow? Are you doing better tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Look? I predicted that there'd be some withdrawals after parental guidance. Yeah,
finished darts?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Are you missing it.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Well, there's just been so many conversations that have been
coming up as people have been catching up on nine now.
And we actually had a family friend, she's a grandma, yeah,
and she was dealing with a pretty significant tantrum the
other day with one of her grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Which grandma is that we know, what's her name, just
first name, Jeanine, Jeanine, Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And she remembered the experience that you had with the
teen parents and time emotion coaching, and so she decided
that she would try it because she recognized that there
was actually she didn't have any control over what was
going to happen in the situation her grandson was in,
(01:46):
but she did know that she could at least acknowledge
what he was experiencing, right, And she looked at me
with wide eyes and she said, I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It was it was imagine it's a parenting expert knows
what he's talking about. Surprised.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I love that. So she had a wonderful experience with
her grandson and they were able to spend some really
nice time once he calmed down and compared to what
he's previously done where it's been this very long, drawn
out experience, and everybody's distressed by the end of it.
She said a couple of words that acknowledged to him
what she was seeing, and he calmed right down and
they were able to go off and have some cake
(02:21):
together a lot and just had a great afternoon.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's because this show changes lives, even grandparents' lives.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
That's so great. Welcome to the podcast, those of you
who are new here. Every Friday, we talk about what
has made our lives work well or maybe what hasn't.
We call it I'll do Better Tomorrow, and the focus
is on evaluating intentionally how we can be better parents. Kylie.
My intentional evaluation of this week is as follows. I
(02:49):
work too much now And I'm not sharing this as
a confession. I'm sharing this because I have no doubt
that there will be thousands, literally thousands and thousands of
parents who tune in for some earning inspo who are
feeling like they're in the same boat, like school holidays
supposed to be with the kids, but there are work commitments,
and I feel it intensely because I'm the parenting expert
(03:11):
who's supposed to be getting it all right. But just
because at school holidays doesn't mean the work stops. I've
got presentations to write, and I've got travel commitments that
have to be met, and blogs that have to be written,
and all the content, the podcasts, all the stuff that
we have to produce. It just keeps on stacking up.
And if I'm not at work, I end up getting
(03:31):
overwhelmed and it just can't all be done. And I
know that in term three. So we have so many
bookings in term three that I'm almost not going to
be home for ten or twelve weeks. And so I've
got this huge amount of drive and maybe even a
whole lot of guilt to be at home with the
kids right now. And yet I've got to get all
this stuff done. I've got so much work to do.
(03:51):
And so my I'd do better tomorrow is I don't
even know what it is. Really, It's just an acknowledgement.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
If you're a.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Parent who's got kids on school holidays right now, and
you maybe hating yourself a little bit because you can't
take time off and so the kids are in outside
school ours care, or if you're a parent who simply
doesn't have the annual leave, and so the grandparents are
looking after the kids or they're looking after themselves and
watching way too many screens. I guess my older better
(04:16):
tomorrow is sometimes you can't do better tomorrow. Sometimes you
just that's life. I want you to know that I
acknowledge what you're going through. It's it's really tricky. And
those moments that we have grabbed this week, whether it's
been a walk along the beach or a kick in
the backyard with the ball Kylie, I've just saved them.
Or when one of the kids has come and climbed
into bed and hugged this those have been the gold
(04:40):
flex in a week that has been pretty rocky in
terms of school, holidays and dad being available.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You were listening to a podcast the other day and
you sent me a definition, a new definition for you
of what joy oh is?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, yeah it so I was listening to a podcast.
In fact, I've got this person coming up on our podcast.
It's not going to be another at least another three
or four weeks before we get to hear from her.
But she's an intimacy and marriage and relationship and so on,
a therapist, and she's just so insightful and anam's Jennifer
Finlayson if I can't wait for her to be on
(05:17):
our podcast end of July. We've got her scheduled for
But she was talking about joy and she said, joy
is the ability to see beauty. Joy is the ability
to see beauty. And I've been thinking about that since
I heard on the podcast about a week and a
half ago, and I love that definition. I don't know
if it's the most perfectly accurate definition from a science
(05:37):
point of view, but from a practical point of view,
I know that I'm happier when I'm spotting those gold flecks,
those moments of beauty in every moment.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Well, I guess and as you were talking, just this
acknowledgment that for those of us who are feeling really
stretched and really pulled, especially in the holidays, when we
want to be somewhere, but we actually have commitments that
we have to deal with, yeah, so hard. Beauty in
the moments that we experience allows us to experience a
level of joy that we wouldn't otherwise have because we
just get caught up in all of the details of
(06:09):
our commitments.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And that's what I've been really working hard on and
that has been, I guess the light in what has
been an otherwise really tricky week. But I mean that's
kind of it. My older better tomorrow is if you're
one of those parents who wishes so much that you
could spend time at the beach, spend time walking with
the kids and playing games and just getting away and
experiencing the holidays, and you can't because of inflation, or
(06:31):
because of job requirements, or because of just life. I
get it.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I don't know that there's any easy thing other than
find the joy, see the beauty that's around you in
those small moments, because sometimes that's all you're going to have.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Earlier in the week, I had a really profound moment
with our nine year old.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Profound. I like it. Profound is good.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
She has always been drawn to have friendships with boys. Yeah,
result has been introduced to a whole heap of characters
and shows.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
She just likes dinosaurs and dragons and wings of fire.
That's that's really what it is.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
And in the household of girls, we've never actually had
to deal with this before.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Cupcakes and rainbows and unicorns what we're used.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
To, right Kev's and so I am not across a
lot of the TV shows that she watches. All of
our other girls have watched a lot of the same
shows that I grew up with, or something similar, I.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Reckon, like with Netflix and all the other streaming services,
like once upon a time the kids just watching ABC,
that was it. And now with all of the other
alternatives that are around, there's just stuff everywhere, and it's
impossible to stay across it all.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And so as a result, Emily being more drawn towards
the more action pat I'm going to use the word
violent shows cartoons. I'm just grateful that we have our
TV in the main living space and I can hear
what's going on. So there's from time to time she's
been watching something and I've been able to just say
(08:02):
I don't like what I'm hearing, or this is this
is not a nice show. You need to turn it off.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't like what I'm hearing. A lot of the
time though, Like there's research that shows that cartoons today
are very different to what cartoons used to be. And
I know that road Runner used to blow Wiley Coyote up,
and they've always had that element of violence. Tom and Jerry,
there's always been the slapstick style comedy. But research shows
that there's a different tone to a lot of violence.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Realistic there was, there was, there was, I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, I mean spongeboth squipt I can't even say it's
Spongebobs grab pants isn't exactly realistic. But there's so much
more noise, there's so much more busy. The cartoons are
so much more active, Like the cartoons are so intense
nowadays compared to what they were when we were kids.
There was only so much that could happen with the technology,
whereas now it's it's over the top. I feel the
same way like the cartoons today. I just think, wow,
(08:51):
man along for the old days. Bugs Bunny bring back bugs.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So as a result, a lot of what she watches
I am not actually across. But the other night she
came in after I had asked her multiple times to
turn the TV off, but because I was distracted, I
didn't follow through the way I know I should, and
so it took her a lot longer to respond to
me than I would have liked. But by the time
she came in, she was a little bit ashen faced,
and she just said to me, I just saw something
(09:18):
that's made me feel really sick, and I said, oh,
I said, would you go and turn the TV off
then and bring the remote to me? And as she left,
she literally burst into tears, like whatever it was that
she saw was so distressing to her that it just
left her feeling so miserable. So when she came back,
(09:41):
I grabbed her into a big bear hug and I said,
what was it that you saw? And she said, somebody
got killed. I asked her if she was watching a real,
live show or whether she was watching a cartoon. It
was a cartoon, and it was a cartoon that she'd
been watching with her sister. And so everyone's pretty good
at being police in our house. So if the big
sisters are watching some thing they know that the little
(10:01):
girls aren't watching, you know, can't watch, they'll send them away.
Or if the little girls are watching something that the
big girls know they shouldn't, they'll tell them. So I
didn't feel like this was going to be a show
that would cause significant distress. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The kids are pretty happy and dub on each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
And so we sat there for a little while and
I said, well, what was the show you were watching?
She told me, and I said and what was its rating?
She said, it's only PG, mum, and I said, well, usually,
I said, if you're going to watch a PG, mommy
and Daddy need to be across that. And I said,
I said, are we across this one? She said no,
She said, but I do watch other pgs and I said, yeah,
because Mommy and Dady have told you it's okay. And
(10:37):
I said what do you think PG stands for? She
had no idea at first, and then something clicked and
she looked at me with a little glint in her eye,
and she said, parental guide. You see the big grin
on her face as she realized what your show meant,
and I said yeah. I said what do you think
that actually means, though? And she said she said parents
(10:59):
can only want And I said, no, it doesn't mean
that at all. But what it does mean is that
if a little person is going to watch something, they
kind of need their mummy and daddy's guidance. They need
their involvement to know whether or not this is something
that's going to be good for you. And I said,
so we're mummy and Daddy involved in helping you decide
whether this was a show that would work for you
or not. And she said no. And I said, do
(11:20):
you know why they're there? Why those why those standards
are there, Why those rules are there, Why those you know,
kind of parameters are there. And she said, so I
don't have to see yucky things. And I said yeah,
And I said, and that's why Mummy and Daddy talked
to you about the kinds of shows that you're watching,
so that you don't find yourself in a position where
you see yucky things. So we talked about it a
(11:41):
little bit more. I acknowledge that some of the books
that she reads are quite violent. She loves Wings of
Fire is all about dragons and the dragons kill each other.
It's very, you know, kind of war and combat, she said.
But it's different when it's in my head, she said,
Once I see it on the screen, Mummy, she said,
I can't get rid of those images. How powerful, so powerful.
(12:03):
I didn't have to tell her that she recognized it,
and so, while I wish she hadn't actually seen whatever
it was that distressed her so much, oh my goodness,
the learning that has come from this one experience has
literally changed the way she sees viewing TV. She asked
me specifically that night and didn't want to leave the
table until she knew it was done to have the
(12:24):
parameters changed on her Netflix account to go back to
the g that it had been about six months ago,
because she didn't want to be faced with another situation
where she watched something that didn't make her feel good.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
So this is one of those reasons as well that
we don't want to protect our kids from everything. They
actually do need to have life experience because as they
have the life experience, they have the learning, and the
learning is where it gets internalized. But they also they
need to have that strong, safe, caring adult to debrief,
to work things through, to process with and to understand.
Because she's been able to do that, she's now internalizing huh,
(12:59):
I feel safe when I've got G rated content rather
than PG rated content. And it was only because she
was able to have that conversation that it all sort
of came together. She didn't really even know what PG
was until that conversation.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
What I love about this experience is I am not
going to be there all the time. Yeah, and yet
I have a little girl who's now recognized that there
are certain things that don't make her feel good, and
she was proactive in that she instantly as soon as
she saw something, she walked away. I can't pay enough
for that, To know that my child will recognize and
(13:31):
be able to self regulate in the moment all by herself.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I'm going to add to that. What I can't pay
enough for, what I can't be more grateful for, is
that she's got somebody that she could turn to. And
that's what we're all trying to be, right. We're trying
to be that person so that when the kids are
exposed to an experience that doesn't feel good, that they
do turn to us. They know that they're safe to
come to us. They're not going to get in trouble,
but rather we're going to help them to process it
in healthy, functional ways so that they can adapt positively
(13:57):
to it. The Happy Family pot Cast is produced by
Justin Ruland for Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
To make you family happier, please visit Happy families dot
com dot AU. Oh you know what else would make
our family happier if we could have got tayored Swift tickets.
But my wallet is happier because websites have been crashing
all around the country and it looks like we're not
(14:18):
going to be able to leave the sunshine to date
and heads out of the border to take the kids
to see data and I can't say I'm sad, but
they are. It would have really made our family happier.
Probably going to have another hunt around today and to
see what we can find. I'm just putting it out there.
I'm going to look
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just once answers.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Now, if you're one of those parents who wishes so
much that you could spend time at the beach and
experiencing the holidays, and you can't find the joy, see
the beauty that's around you in those small moments, because
sometimes that's all you're going to have.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
and Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
School holidays week one are over for Northern Territory of
Queensland and Victoria. The Act and WA and New South
Wales holidays start at the end of today. Except for
those lucky kids whose parents gave in when the kids said,
but Mum, no one else is going today. We don't
do anything except watch movies. It's the last day of
school South Australia and Tazzy one week to go. The
countdown is on. I'm here with my wife and co
(00:51):
hosts of this podcast, missus Happy Families. Kylie. What's the latest, Kylie?
Today's I'll do better tomorrow? Are you doing better tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Look? I predicted that there'd be some withdrawals after parental guidance. Yeah,
finished darts?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Are you missing it.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Well, there's just been so many conversations that have been
coming up as people have been catching up on nine now.
And we actually had a family friend, she's a grandma, yeah,
and she was dealing with a pretty significant tantrum the
other day with one of her grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Which grandma is that we know, what's her name, just
first name, Jeanine, Jeanine, Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And she remembered the experience that you had with the
teen parents and time emotion coaching, and so she decided
that she would try it because she recognized that there
was actually she didn't have any control over what was
going to happen in the situation her grandson was in,
(01:46):
but she did know that she could at least acknowledge
what he was experiencing, right, And she looked at me
with wide eyes and she said, I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It was it was imagine it's a parenting expert knows
what he's talking about. Surprised.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I love that. So she had a wonderful experience with
her grandson and they were able to spend some really
nice time once he calmed down and compared to what
he's previously done where it's been this very long, drawn
out experience, and everybody's distressed by the end of it.
She said a couple of words that acknowledged to him
what she was seeing, and he calmed right down and
they were able to go off and have some cake
(02:21):
together a lot and just had a great afternoon.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's because this show changes lives, even grandparents' lives.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
That's so great. Welcome to the podcast, those of you
who are new here. Every Friday, we talk about what
has made our lives work well or maybe what hasn't.
We call it I'll do Better Tomorrow, and the focus
is on evaluating intentionally how we can be better parents. Kylie.
My intentional evaluation of this week is as follows. I
(02:49):
work too much now And I'm not sharing this as
a confession. I'm sharing this because I have no doubt
that there will be thousands, literally thousands and thousands of
parents who tune in for some earning inspo who are
feeling like they're in the same boat, like school holidays
supposed to be with the kids, but there are work commitments,
and I feel it intensely because I'm the parenting expert
(03:11):
who's supposed to be getting it all right. But just
because at school holidays doesn't mean the work stops. I've
got presentations to write, and I've got travel commitments that
have to be met, and blogs that have to be written,
and all the content, the podcasts, all the stuff that
we have to produce. It just keeps on stacking up.
And if I'm not at work, I end up getting
(03:31):
overwhelmed and it just can't all be done. And I
know that in term three. So we have so many
bookings in term three that I'm almost not going to
be home for ten or twelve weeks. And so I've
got this huge amount of drive and maybe even a
whole lot of guilt to be at home with the
kids right now. And yet I've got to get all
this stuff done. I've got so much work to do.
(03:51):
And so my I'd do better tomorrow is I don't
even know what it is. Really, It's just an acknowledgement.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
If you're a.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Parent who's got kids on school holidays right now, and
you maybe hating yourself a little bit because you can't
take time off and so the kids are in outside
school ours care, or if you're a parent who simply
doesn't have the annual leave, and so the grandparents are
looking after the kids or they're looking after themselves and
watching way too many screens. I guess my older better
(04:16):
tomorrow is sometimes you can't do better tomorrow. Sometimes you
just that's life. I want you to know that I
acknowledge what you're going through. It's it's really tricky. And
those moments that we have grabbed this week, whether it's
been a walk along the beach or a kick in
the backyard with the ball Kylie, I've just saved them.
Or when one of the kids has come and climbed
into bed and hugged this those have been the gold
(04:40):
flex in a week that has been pretty rocky in
terms of school, holidays and dad being available.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You were listening to a podcast the other day and
you sent me a definition, a new definition for you
of what joy oh is?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, yeah it so I was listening to a podcast.
In fact, I've got this person coming up on our podcast.
It's not going to be another at least another three
or four weeks before we get to hear from her.
But she's an intimacy and marriage and relationship and so on,
a therapist, and she's just so insightful and anam's Jennifer
Finlayson if I can't wait for her to be on
(05:17):
our podcast end of July. We've got her scheduled for
But she was talking about joy and she said, joy
is the ability to see beauty. Joy is the ability
to see beauty. And I've been thinking about that since
I heard on the podcast about a week and a
half ago, and I love that definition. I don't know
if it's the most perfectly accurate definition from a science
(05:37):
point of view, but from a practical point of view,
I know that I'm happier when I'm spotting those gold flecks,
those moments of beauty in every moment.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Well, I guess and as you were talking, just this
acknowledgment that for those of us who are feeling really
stretched and really pulled, especially in the holidays, when we
want to be somewhere, but we actually have commitments that
we have to deal with, yeah, so hard. Beauty in
the moments that we experience allows us to experience a
level of joy that we wouldn't otherwise have because we
just get caught up in all of the details of
(06:09):
our commitments.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And that's what I've been really working hard on and
that has been, I guess the light in what has
been an otherwise really tricky week. But I mean that's
kind of it. My older better tomorrow is if you're
one of those parents who wishes so much that you
could spend time at the beach, spend time walking with
the kids and playing games and just getting away and
experiencing the holidays, and you can't because of inflation, or
(06:31):
because of job requirements, or because of just life. I
get it.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I don't know that there's any easy thing other than
find the joy, see the beauty that's around you in
those small moments, because sometimes that's all you're going to have.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Earlier in the week, I had a really profound moment
with our nine year old.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Profound. I like it. Profound is good.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
She has always been drawn to have friendships with boys. Yeah,
result has been introduced to a whole heap of characters
and shows.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
She just likes dinosaurs and dragons and wings of fire.
That's that's really what it is.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
And in the household of girls, we've never actually had
to deal with this before.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Cupcakes and rainbows and unicorns what we're used.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
To, right Kev's and so I am not across a
lot of the TV shows that she watches. All of
our other girls have watched a lot of the same
shows that I grew up with, or something similar, I.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Reckon, like with Netflix and all the other streaming services,
like once upon a time the kids just watching ABC,
that was it. And now with all of the other
alternatives that are around, there's just stuff everywhere, and it's
impossible to stay across it all.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And so as a result, Emily being more drawn towards
the more action pat I'm going to use the word
violent shows cartoons. I'm just grateful that we have our
TV in the main living space and I can hear
what's going on. So there's from time to time she's
been watching something and I've been able to just say
(08:02):
I don't like what I'm hearing, or this is this
is not a nice show. You need to turn it off.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I don't like what I'm hearing. A lot of the
time though, Like there's research that shows that cartoons today
are very different to what cartoons used to be. And
I know that road Runner used to blow Wiley Coyote up,
and they've always had that element of violence. Tom and Jerry,
there's always been the slapstick style comedy. But research shows
that there's a different tone to a lot of violence.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Realistic there was, there was, there was, I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, I mean spongeboth squipt I can't even say it's
Spongebobs grab pants isn't exactly realistic. But there's so much
more noise, there's so much more busy. The cartoons are
so much more active, Like the cartoons are so intense
nowadays compared to what they were when we were kids.
There was only so much that could happen with the technology,
whereas now it's it's over the top. I feel the
same way like the cartoons today. I just think, wow,
(08:51):
man along for the old days. Bugs Bunny bring back bugs.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So as a result, a lot of what she watches
I am not actually across. But the other night she
came in after I had asked her multiple times to
turn the TV off, but because I was distracted, I
didn't follow through the way I know I should, and
so it took her a lot longer to respond to
me than I would have liked. But by the time
she came in, she was a little bit ashen faced,
and she just said to me, I just saw something
(09:18):
that's made me feel really sick, and I said, oh,
I said, would you go and turn the TV off
then and bring the remote to me? And as she left,
she literally burst into tears, like whatever it was that
she saw was so distressing to her that it just
left her feeling so miserable. So when she came back,
(09:41):
I grabbed her into a big bear hug and I said,
what was it that you saw? And she said, somebody
got killed. I asked her if she was watching a real,
live show or whether she was watching a cartoon. It
was a cartoon, and it was a cartoon that she'd
been watching with her sister. And so everyone's pretty good
at being police in our house. So if the big
sisters are watching some thing they know that the little
(10:01):
girls aren't watching, you know, can't watch, they'll send them away.
Or if the little girls are watching something that the
big girls know they shouldn't, they'll tell them. So I
didn't feel like this was going to be a show
that would cause significant distress. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The kids are pretty happy and dub on each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
And so we sat there for a little while and
I said, well, what was the show you were watching?
She told me, and I said and what was its rating?
She said, it's only PG, mum, and I said, well, usually,
I said, if you're going to watch a PG, mommy
and Daddy need to be across that. And I said,
I said, are we across this one? She said no,
She said, but I do watch other pgs and I said, yeah,
because Mommy and Dady have told you it's okay. And
(10:37):
I said what do you think PG stands for? She
had no idea at first, and then something clicked and
she looked at me with a little glint in her eye,
and she said, parental guide. You see the big grin
on her face as she realized what your show meant,
and I said yeah. I said what do you think
that actually means, though? And she said she said parents
(10:59):
can only want And I said, no, it doesn't mean
that at all. But what it does mean is that
if a little person is going to watch something, they
kind of need their mummy and daddy's guidance. They need
their involvement to know whether or not this is something
that's going to be good for you. And I said,
so we're mummy and Daddy involved in helping you decide
whether this was a show that would work for you
or not. And she said no. And I said, do
(11:20):
you know why they're there? Why those why those standards
are there, Why those rules are there, Why those you know,
kind of parameters are there. And she said, so I
don't have to see yucky things. And I said yeah,
And I said, and that's why Mummy and Daddy talked
to you about the kinds of shows that you're watching,
so that you don't find yourself in a position where
you see yucky things. So we talked about it a
(11:41):
little bit more. I acknowledge that some of the books
that she reads are quite violent. She loves Wings of
Fire is all about dragons and the dragons kill each other.
It's very, you know, kind of war and combat, she said.
But it's different when it's in my head, she said,
Once I see it on the screen, Mummy, she said,
I can't get rid of those images. How powerful, so powerful.
(12:03):
I didn't have to tell her that she recognized it,
and so, while I wish she hadn't actually seen whatever
it was that distressed her so much, oh my goodness,
the learning that has come from this one experience has
literally changed the way she sees viewing TV. She asked
me specifically that night and didn't want to leave the
table until she knew it was done to have the
(12:24):
parameters changed on her Netflix account to go back to
the g that it had been about six months ago,
because she didn't want to be faced with another situation
where she watched something that didn't make her feel good.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
So this is one of those reasons as well that
we don't want to protect our kids from everything. They
actually do need to have life experience because as they
have the life experience, they have the learning, and the
learning is where it gets internalized. But they also they
need to have that strong, safe, caring adult to debrief,
to work things through, to process with and to understand.
Because she's been able to do that, she's now internalizing huh,
(12:59):
I feel safe when I've got G rated content rather
than PG rated content. And it was only because she
was able to have that conversation that it all sort
of came together. She didn't really even know what PG
was until that conversation.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
What I love about this experience is I am not
going to be there all the time. Yeah, and yet
I have a little girl who's now recognized that there
are certain things that don't make her feel good, and
she was proactive in that she instantly as soon as
she saw something, she walked away. I can't pay enough
for that, To know that my child will recognize and
(13:31):
be able to self regulate in the moment all by herself.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I'm going to add to that. What I can't pay
enough for, what I can't be more grateful for, is
that she's got somebody that she could turn to. And
that's what we're all trying to be, right. We're trying
to be that person so that when the kids are
exposed to an experience that doesn't feel good, that they
do turn to us. They know that they're safe to
come to us. They're not going to get in trouble,
but rather we're going to help them to process it
in healthy, functional ways so that they can adapt positively
(13:57):
to it. The Happy Family pot Cast is produced by
Justin Ruland for Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
To make you family happier, please visit Happy families dot
com dot AU. Oh you know what else would make
our family happier if we could have got tayored Swift tickets.
But my wallet is happier because websites have been crashing
all around the country and it looks like we're not
(14:18):
going to be able to leave the sunshine to date
and heads out of the border to take the kids
to see data and I can't say I'm sad, but
they are. It would have really made our family happier.
Probably going to have another hunt around today and to
see what we can find. I'm just putting it out there.
I'm going to look
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