October 15, 2025 • 15 mins
If you ever feel like there’s never enough time — this episode is your deep breath. Justin and Kylie unpack the idea of “time abundance” — how to slow life down when the to-do list never ends. From the psychology of feeling rushed to practical ways to reclaim calm, this is your permission slip to stop racing and start living with more space, energy, and joy.
KEY POINTS
- Most of us undervalue our time — we tick off easy tasks instead of what truly matters.
- Protecting your time doesn’t mean saying no to family; it means saying yes intentionally.
- Feeling time-rich comes from being mindful in the moment, not just managing the clock.
- Giving your time to others actually makes you feel like you have more time.
- Buy yourself back time when you can — small choices (like grocery delivery or help with chores) reduce pressure and create calm.
- Scrolling isn’t rest. True breaks come from presence, connection, and purpose.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“You don’t build a relationship watching the clock.” — Dr Justin Coulson
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Jackie Nesi’s Techno Sapiens Substack: Article on Time Abundance
- Happy Families Membership — for more ways to live lighter and connect deeper
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Block time out for what matters most — and guard it fiercely.
- Be mindful in your moments of rest; let your brain actually stop.
- Give time to others — kindness expands your sense of time.
- Buy back time where possible; trade dollars for breathing space.
- Ditch the doom scroll. Choose real rest over digital distraction.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Do you
have enough time? Is time getting away from you? Is
it being wasted? Or are you just running faster than
you know? How to Term four is kick Well, it's
just kicked off in half the country. And if you're
anything like us, the routine that you were so sure
that you were going to get back into so simply
has been an absolute I was going to say disaster.
(00:29):
I was going to say nightmare. I feel like they're
two big words, Kylie, but it's been tricky. Let's just
say that Today I'm the Happy Families Podcast. We're going
to look at creating time abundance. How do we find
the time to do it the stuff that matters when
it feels like all the stuff matters and there isn't
enough time. That's coming up next, Stay with us. Hello,
Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Real Pairing Solutions every Day.
(00:51):
This is Australia's most downloaded paring podcast. We are justin
and Kylie Colson and we are into term four. It's
the home run the last Were.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You trying to sound like Scooby Doo?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
No, but my voice kind of went Really it was
meant to be a big wooho, and I changed my
mind halfway.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Through it chickened out.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Yeah, it didn't sound like it was a particularly hearty one,
did it. Hey, today we're talking about this thing called
time abundance. I'm really missing at the moment with this
really smart sub stack by Jackie NeSSI Jaqueline NeSSI is
a professor of psychology at Brown University in the United States.
Really thoughtful, really fun, really quirky, and it's called Techno Sapiens.
(01:31):
And she wrote a piece about time abundance a while
back grabbed me like I couldn't let go of it,
and I've decided that we should chat about it today.
Before we talk about time abundance, I wanted to ask you.
I have my own list, but what have you done today?
Because everyone always says that mums carried the cognitive load
have too much to do, Like it is a heavy
(01:52):
duty job being a mum. Walk me through your We're
recording this in the afternoon before the day that we
roll the podcast out. I made that really hard. What
have you done up until this point? At what is
it two fifteen in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I got up at five point thirty this morning. We
rode forty k's. I then had a cold plunge, followed
by a hot soak in the bath. I did my
affirmations and oil reset. I got dressed, I made the bed,
I hung out a load of washing. I put on
another load of washing. I then cooked breakfast. We ate it.
I tidied the kitchen. I talked to Baby number three
about insights from her personal study this morning. Then I
(02:30):
had to wake up Baby number four to discuss the
logistics of her day and work out how cars were
going to work. I facetied my grandbaby, who was having
to melt down because she wanted to swim in my pool,
not hers. And then I took Baby number three to
the Department of Transport so that we could organize a
replacement for her lost license. I then took a call
from Baby number one, who is organizing some upcoming babysitting
(02:53):
with me.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So just a quick note, all of these babies that
you're engaging with at the moment or over the age
of eighteen most of them, ye, so anyone who oh,
once they're eighteen, we're out of the woods. Our pairing
days done. Good luck with that, dropped off.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Baby number six at friends for a playdate. I need
to bring some washing in so I could hang out
another load. Then I put another load on, I folded
the washing. Baby No One rang again because she wanted
to fill me in on what's going on with a day.
I did some ironing. I took to Baby number five
about her day because she's volunteering in New South Wales
and it was nine degrees this morning. I had some lunch.
That was about two o'clock in the afternoon. We're recording podcasts.
(03:27):
But on my list, I still have to pick up
Baby number six, go to the post office and do
a drop off, have more washing, more rining to do.
I have to build a freestanding wardrobe for baby number three,
pick up Baby number three from volunteering, organize dinner, cook
and eat it, clean up, reset the house, walk the dog,
and then maybe I'll get into bed about nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Time, right right, okay, time abundance are you feeling? I mean,
I'm listening to that. And it's a lot of family
focused stuff. A lot of it is chores and running
around and rigmarole, but there's some really nice connections with family.
There's some really nice chats. There's obviously the bike ride,
the cold plunge, the oils and that sort of stuff.
(04:09):
When you think about a topic like this one, and
we have spent the entire podcast really just talking about
how busy your day has been. Do you feel time abundant?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
There's a long pause.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, warranted.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Not very often, not very often today today, No, I
do not feel abundant. I'm looking at my list and
thinking I'd actually really like to just curl up in
a ball and go and have a nan and napp.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's going to
make you feel more time abundant or not. But Jackie
Nessi's newsletter certainly points to some things that will and
some things that won't. So I asked you, I don't
know what you've written down where you're going to go
with this, but I asked you to jop down your
three take home messages from the Techno Sapiens substack about
(05:02):
time abundance. What are the three things that you jotted down,
and let's talk about those for about a minute each.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
She talks about the fact that we actually undervalue our
own time, and I really related to that because when
I think about the way I utilize my time, I
actually do all of the least important things first, right,
(05:29):
They're usually the easiest ones to tick off the list.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, if I've got my
task lists and I look at everything that's there, I
do the easy stuff. I go for the quick wins.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, because I want to be able to see that
I've progressed. Like if I've got ten things on my
list and half an hour, I can get four of
them ticked off, why would I not do that first?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah? And that's an email For people who work in office,
it's such a timesyck. But we think, oh, we're being
productive because we're clearing our inbox.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
And so from that point of view, what often ends
up happening is I get a whole heap of nothing
done in the day and I still haven't attacked the
one thing that was most important on my list.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
There is there a one thing today that should have
been on your list, but you didn't even get near it.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
It's building that wardrobe. It's not going to happen. I
just know it. Yeah, right, Okay, we've had baby number
four arrive home. She has no room to sleep, and
she has no wardrobe to place their clothes in and
we just need to make a freestanding wardrobe so at
least she can hang something and stick some shoes on
a shelf.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, what about your second take home message?
Let us stood out to you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
We neglect taking steps to protect our time, so can I.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not telling you, sure I shouldn't. But all the
phone calls, all the backwards and forwards, all of the
other people prioritizing and wanting to connect with you. Is
that Is that one of those things like sometimes you've
just got to get stuff done and say I'm not
going to take any calls for the next half an hour.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Like, yeah, I think I think that that's well within
I know.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I don't protect my time well at all. When we
were wrapping up the writing of my book. When I
was wrapping up the writing of my book just before
the school holidays, I said to my team, I've got
one week where it's the last week of school. Nobody's
hired me to give any talks. I don't have any
keynotes at conferences or government or like, there's literally nothing
(07:21):
in my diary. I need to protect that week so
I can finish the book. And then I just slowly
as requests came in for going to a podcast, interview
over here, shop on the news over there, one thing
after another after another, and all of a sudden, every
single day I had at least one, if not two
things that took me out of the office, and I
(07:43):
didn't protect that time, and as a result, the book
deadline again, I blew it right out. I almost didn't
finish by the deadline, and it was so stressful. I
feel like I'm still fatigued talking about it several weeks later,
because I just I didn't protect my time.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I think the challenge that I have is when you
look at all those phone calls, they're our children, and.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
It's really hard to say just ignore the kids right well,
and nor should we.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No, So the challenge is that you and I made
a really conscious decision that I would stay at home
so I was available for the kids. And I think
that there are definitely times where I have just said, hey,
I really need to stay focused today. But for the
most part, I love the fact that my kids want
to bring me and tell me how their day went,
or the insights that they've had as they've been you know,
(08:31):
attending a class or doing some personal study of their
own like, that's actually the highlights, that's the joy point
of my day. And so while it adds to the busyness,
it's actually what adds the richness to my experience.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
So there's this thing that I often say one of
my presentations, and that is that you don't build a
relationship watching the clock. And so today there's this discussion
that we're having about creating time abundance, and we're saying,
you've got to protect your time, but I think you've
got to be discerning in terms of what you protect
your time against.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, and today's a day where at the end of
the day, if the wardrobe doesn't get done, it's not
the end of the world. I can push it back.
But there will be other times where it's like there's
actually there's no riggle room. This has to be done today,
and I'm just going to have to take this time.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
What was the third thing? We need to take a
break before we come back for the doctor's desk part
of this conversation.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
We've actually touched on it a little bit already, but
she says that we don't prioritize spending time on the
things that matter, and so when we look at our
to do list, Like we talked about at the beginning,
often we spend time doing the things that are easiest
just because we're going to get a quick win.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah yeah for sure or after the break. The scientific
side of things, time abundance, how do we create it,
what's necessary so that it feels like we have time.
We'll discuss that next. Welcome back. This is the Happy
Family's Podcast. My name is doctor Justin Courson. I'm here
(10:03):
with my wife and Mundo, our six kids. Missus Happy Families, Kylie. So,
there were three things that Jackie said in her Techno
Sapien's substack about this that I want to highlight. So
research shows that you can feel more abundant with your
time if you do these three things. The first one
is what she calls blocking time out. I've tried this
and it actually works, except when you don't get mindful
(10:24):
in the moment. So you might block out and say,
I'm going to make sure that I have this walk,
this massage, this for me, it'll be a surf, or
this time with my family. I'm going to block out
an hour here or half an hour there or fifteen
minutes there. I'm going to have the bath. I'm going
to do the thing, and I'm blocking it out so
that nothing else can intrude. It's my protected time. Research
(10:45):
shows that people who do that do, in fact, end
up with a sense of time abundance. They feel better
about their lives. It's generally associated with positive outcomes, but
there is a catch. A study showed that people who
improve their mindfulness skills through an eight week mindfulness intervention.
Who's got time for an eight week mindfulness intervention?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But if you do that, you have increased feelings of
time influence because when you're spending that tiny little block
of time that I've just said to block out sometimes
like if I'm getting a message, for example, which I
haven't done in for years, because I don't enjoy the
massage because all I can do is think about all
the things that I should be doing other than getting
a massage.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah. So that's what happened with my art classes. I
was really really enjoying them in the beginning, but as
our life got a lot more complicated as the year progressed,
I just found that it actually was a chore to
go because there were so many other things pressing on
my mind that I couldn't be in the moment and
I couldn't tap into that beautiful creative flow that I
(11:44):
was experiencing previously.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
So that is a skill. It is something that you
can learn, but it requires intention, it requires focus, and
it means that you do need to be in the
moment while you're taking that moment to feel time abundant.
And then when you get back in the car after
the massage or the art class or the surf, you know,
I love to just go bond because and go I
can't believe I did that, Like it felt really good,
but now I'm in so much trouble. You've actually got
to let that be part of part of your wellbeing routine.
(12:10):
The second one is quite counterintuitive. The research says. This
is a twenty twelve study called giving Time Gives You Time.
Researchers had people come into a lab assign them to
either go home a bit early to give themselves a
bit of time, or do something nice for someone else.
In this case, they had to spend fifteen or twenty
minutes editing an essay for an at risk student at
a local high school. And even though going home early
(12:31):
objectively gives you more time, it was the people who
were assigned to help the student who felt less time constrained,
they felt more time abundant. So the research shows number one,
blockout time for yourself, be mindful in the moment, but
number two give time to others. It will actually help
you to feel like you have more time. The third
and final one is to buy yourself time. So researchers
(12:52):
gave participants forty bucks. This was a few years ago, Kylie,
it was back in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Forty twenty bucks is not going to get you much.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It goes further than it does now. But participans, we're
given the forty dollars to spend on either a material
purchase like books and clothes, and then on a separate week,
they were given another forty dollars, but they had to
spend on a time saving purchase like grocery delivery or
getting the lawns done, or a laundry service, or taking
an uber because it saves time looking for parking. So anyway,
on the weeks where people made a time saving purchase,
(13:21):
they reported feeling happier and the reason was they felt
less time pressure. So I know that this does depend
on your financial situation. There's a certain level of privilege
that comes from being able to pay somebody to do
your lawns or to do your laundry or clean your
house or whatever it is. But to the degree that
you can do that, you do tend to feel more
time abundant. And there was one more thing that I
want to highlight here, and that is that if you
do use your spare time, or even you're not spare
(13:43):
time just in downtime, even if it's a few minutes
steering your phone, you're not going to get the sense
of time abundance that you get when you don't have
anything else on your mind. Like steering your phone scrolling
doom scrolling, or just checking out your TikTok or Instagram feed.
It's not going to give you a sense of reprieve
and release. It's keeping your brain active, it's keeping your
brain going even though you're zoning out and it doesn't
(14:07):
feel like you're getting a break. So hopefully, Kylie, that
will help you feel more time abund at this afternoon,
pay somebody to do one of those jobs you've got
to do. No no, no, okay, block out some time
this evening. You're looking at me Strangely, you're not going
to block out some can you do?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
It? Is walking the dog blocking out some time.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, let's go for a walk tonight like nine thirty
and we'll give we'll give time to the dog. Gosh,
the struggle is real. Good luck if I mean, I
really hope these ideas. We hope these ideas help you
to have a sense of time abundance. That was the
doctor's desk on the Happy Families podcast, which is produced
by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Mim Hammonds provides admin,
(14:46):
research and other support, and Mim will link to the
Techno Sapiens article and the entire substack, which described to
it's a really good one in the show notes, have
a great afternoon, evening, morning, whatever it is when you're
listening at this pod, and we can't wait to be
with you again tomorrow as we unpack everything that happened
in the Queensland school holidays. Thanks for listening
Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Do you
have enough time? Is time getting away from you? Is
it being wasted? Or are you just running faster than
you know? How to Term four is kick Well, it's
just kicked off in half the country. And if you're
anything like us, the routine that you were so sure
that you were going to get back into so simply
has been an absolute I was going to say disaster.
(00:29):
I was going to say nightmare. I feel like they're
two big words, Kylie, but it's been tricky. Let's just
say that Today I'm the Happy Families Podcast. We're going
to look at creating time abundance. How do we find
the time to do it the stuff that matters when
it feels like all the stuff matters and there isn't
enough time. That's coming up next, Stay with us. Hello,
Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Real Pairing Solutions every Day.
(00:51):
This is Australia's most downloaded paring podcast. We are justin
and Kylie Colson and we are into term four. It's
the home run the last Were.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You trying to sound like Scooby Doo?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
No, but my voice kind of went Really it was
meant to be a big wooho, and I changed my
mind halfway.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Through it chickened out.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Yeah, it didn't sound like it was a particularly hearty one,
did it. Hey, today we're talking about this thing called
time abundance. I'm really missing at the moment with this
really smart sub stack by Jackie NeSSI Jaqueline NeSSI is
a professor of psychology at Brown University in the United States.
Really thoughtful, really fun, really quirky, and it's called Techno Sapiens.
(01:31):
And she wrote a piece about time abundance a while
back grabbed me like I couldn't let go of it,
and I've decided that we should chat about it today.
Before we talk about time abundance, I wanted to ask you.
I have my own list, but what have you done today?
Because everyone always says that mums carried the cognitive load
have too much to do, Like it is a heavy
(01:52):
duty job being a mum. Walk me through your We're
recording this in the afternoon before the day that we
roll the podcast out. I made that really hard. What
have you done up until this point? At what is
it two fifteen in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I got up at five point thirty this morning. We
rode forty k's. I then had a cold plunge, followed
by a hot soak in the bath. I did my
affirmations and oil reset. I got dressed, I made the bed,
I hung out a load of washing. I put on
another load of washing. I then cooked breakfast. We ate it.
I tidied the kitchen. I talked to Baby number three
about insights from her personal study this morning. Then I
(02:30):
had to wake up Baby number four to discuss the
logistics of her day and work out how cars were
going to work. I facetied my grandbaby, who was having
to melt down because she wanted to swim in my pool,
not hers. And then I took Baby number three to
the Department of Transport so that we could organize a
replacement for her lost license. I then took a call
from Baby number one, who is organizing some upcoming babysitting
(02:53):
with me.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
So just a quick note, all of these babies that
you're engaging with at the moment or over the age
of eighteen most of them, ye, so anyone who oh,
once they're eighteen, we're out of the woods. Our pairing
days done. Good luck with that, dropped off.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Baby number six at friends for a playdate. I need
to bring some washing in so I could hang out
another load. Then I put another load on, I folded
the washing. Baby No One rang again because she wanted
to fill me in on what's going on with a day.
I did some ironing. I took to Baby number five
about her day because she's volunteering in New South Wales
and it was nine degrees this morning. I had some lunch.
That was about two o'clock in the afternoon. We're recording podcasts.
(03:27):
But on my list, I still have to pick up
Baby number six, go to the post office and do
a drop off, have more washing, more rining to do.
I have to build a freestanding wardrobe for baby number three,
pick up Baby number three from volunteering, organize dinner, cook
and eat it, clean up, reset the house, walk the dog,
and then maybe I'll get into bed about nine o'clock.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Time, right right, okay, time abundance are you feeling? I mean,
I'm listening to that. And it's a lot of family
focused stuff. A lot of it is chores and running
around and rigmarole, but there's some really nice connections with family.
There's some really nice chats. There's obviously the bike ride,
the cold plunge, the oils and that sort of stuff.
(04:09):
When you think about a topic like this one, and
we have spent the entire podcast really just talking about
how busy your day has been. Do you feel time abundant?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
There's a long pause.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, warranted.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Not very often, not very often today today, No, I
do not feel abundant. I'm looking at my list and
thinking I'd actually really like to just curl up in
a ball and go and have a nan and napp.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's going to
make you feel more time abundant or not. But Jackie
Nessi's newsletter certainly points to some things that will and
some things that won't. So I asked you, I don't
know what you've written down where you're going to go
with this, but I asked you to jop down your
three take home messages from the Techno Sapiens substack about
(05:02):
time abundance. What are the three things that you jotted down,
and let's talk about those for about a minute each.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
She talks about the fact that we actually undervalue our
own time, and I really related to that because when
I think about the way I utilize my time, I
actually do all of the least important things first, right,
(05:29):
They're usually the easiest ones to tick off the list.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, if I've got my
task lists and I look at everything that's there, I
do the easy stuff. I go for the quick wins.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, because I want to be able to see that
I've progressed. Like if I've got ten things on my
list and half an hour, I can get four of
them ticked off, why would I not do that first?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah? And that's an email For people who work in office,
it's such a timesyck. But we think, oh, we're being
productive because we're clearing our inbox.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
And so from that point of view, what often ends
up happening is I get a whole heap of nothing
done in the day and I still haven't attacked the
one thing that was most important on my list.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
There is there a one thing today that should have
been on your list, but you didn't even get near it.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
It's building that wardrobe. It's not going to happen. I
just know it. Yeah, right, Okay, we've had baby number
four arrive home. She has no room to sleep, and
she has no wardrobe to place their clothes in and
we just need to make a freestanding wardrobe so at
least she can hang something and stick some shoes on
a shelf.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, what about your second take home message?
Let us stood out to you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
We neglect taking steps to protect our time, so can I.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not telling you, sure I shouldn't. But all the
phone calls, all the backwards and forwards, all of the
other people prioritizing and wanting to connect with you. Is
that Is that one of those things like sometimes you've
just got to get stuff done and say I'm not
going to take any calls for the next half an hour.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Like, yeah, I think I think that that's well within
I know.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I don't protect my time well at all. When we
were wrapping up the writing of my book. When I
was wrapping up the writing of my book just before
the school holidays, I said to my team, I've got
one week where it's the last week of school. Nobody's
hired me to give any talks. I don't have any
keynotes at conferences or government or like, there's literally nothing
(07:21):
in my diary. I need to protect that week so
I can finish the book. And then I just slowly
as requests came in for going to a podcast, interview
over here, shop on the news over there, one thing
after another after another, and all of a sudden, every
single day I had at least one, if not two
things that took me out of the office, and I
(07:43):
didn't protect that time, and as a result, the book
deadline again, I blew it right out. I almost didn't
finish by the deadline, and it was so stressful. I
feel like I'm still fatigued talking about it several weeks later,
because I just I didn't protect my time.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I think the challenge that I have is when you
look at all those phone calls, they're our children, and.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
It's really hard to say just ignore the kids right well,
and nor should we.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No, So the challenge is that you and I made
a really conscious decision that I would stay at home
so I was available for the kids. And I think
that there are definitely times where I have just said, hey,
I really need to stay focused today. But for the
most part, I love the fact that my kids want
to bring me and tell me how their day went,
or the insights that they've had as they've been you know,
(08:31):
attending a class or doing some personal study of their
own like, that's actually the highlights, that's the joy point
of my day. And so while it adds to the busyness,
it's actually what adds the richness to my experience.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
So there's this thing that I often say one of
my presentations, and that is that you don't build a
relationship watching the clock. And so today there's this discussion
that we're having about creating time abundance, and we're saying,
you've got to protect your time, but I think you've
got to be discerning in terms of what you protect
your time against.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, and today's a day where at the end of
the day, if the wardrobe doesn't get done, it's not
the end of the world. I can push it back.
But there will be other times where it's like there's
actually there's no riggle room. This has to be done today,
and I'm just going to have to take this time.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
What was the third thing? We need to take a
break before we come back for the doctor's desk part
of this conversation.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
We've actually touched on it a little bit already, but
she says that we don't prioritize spending time on the
things that matter, and so when we look at our
to do list, Like we talked about at the beginning,
often we spend time doing the things that are easiest
just because we're going to get a quick win.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah yeah for sure or after the break. The scientific
side of things, time abundance, how do we create it,
what's necessary so that it feels like we have time.
We'll discuss that next. Welcome back. This is the Happy
Family's Podcast. My name is doctor Justin Courson. I'm here
(10:03):
with my wife and Mundo, our six kids. Missus Happy Families, Kylie. So,
there were three things that Jackie said in her Techno
Sapien's substack about this that I want to highlight. So
research shows that you can feel more abundant with your
time if you do these three things. The first one
is what she calls blocking time out. I've tried this
and it actually works, except when you don't get mindful
(10:24):
in the moment. So you might block out and say,
I'm going to make sure that I have this walk,
this massage, this for me, it'll be a surf, or
this time with my family. I'm going to block out
an hour here or half an hour there or fifteen
minutes there. I'm going to have the bath. I'm going
to do the thing, and I'm blocking it out so
that nothing else can intrude. It's my protected time. Research
(10:45):
shows that people who do that do, in fact, end
up with a sense of time abundance. They feel better
about their lives. It's generally associated with positive outcomes, but
there is a catch. A study showed that people who
improve their mindfulness skills through an eight week mindfulness intervention.
Who's got time for an eight week mindfulness intervention?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But if you do that, you have increased feelings of
time influence because when you're spending that tiny little block
of time that I've just said to block out sometimes
like if I'm getting a message, for example, which I
haven't done in for years, because I don't enjoy the
massage because all I can do is think about all
the things that I should be doing other than getting
a massage.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah. So that's what happened with my art classes. I
was really really enjoying them in the beginning, but as
our life got a lot more complicated as the year progressed,
I just found that it actually was a chore to
go because there were so many other things pressing on
my mind that I couldn't be in the moment and
I couldn't tap into that beautiful creative flow that I
(11:44):
was experiencing previously.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
So that is a skill. It is something that you
can learn, but it requires intention, it requires focus, and
it means that you do need to be in the
moment while you're taking that moment to feel time abundant.
And then when you get back in the car after
the massage or the art class or the surf, you know,
I love to just go bond because and go I
can't believe I did that, Like it felt really good,
but now I'm in so much trouble. You've actually got
to let that be part of part of your wellbeing routine.
(12:10):
The second one is quite counterintuitive. The research says. This
is a twenty twelve study called giving Time Gives You Time.
Researchers had people come into a lab assign them to
either go home a bit early to give themselves a
bit of time, or do something nice for someone else.
In this case, they had to spend fifteen or twenty
minutes editing an essay for an at risk student at
a local high school. And even though going home early
(12:31):
objectively gives you more time, it was the people who
were assigned to help the student who felt less time constrained,
they felt more time abundant. So the research shows number one,
blockout time for yourself, be mindful in the moment, but
number two give time to others. It will actually help
you to feel like you have more time. The third
and final one is to buy yourself time. So researchers
(12:52):
gave participants forty bucks. This was a few years ago, Kylie,
it was back in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Forty twenty bucks is not going to get you much.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It goes further than it does now. But participans, we're
given the forty dollars to spend on either a material
purchase like books and clothes, and then on a separate week,
they were given another forty dollars, but they had to
spend on a time saving purchase like grocery delivery or
getting the lawns done, or a laundry service, or taking
an uber because it saves time looking for parking. So anyway,
on the weeks where people made a time saving purchase,
(13:21):
they reported feeling happier and the reason was they felt
less time pressure. So I know that this does depend
on your financial situation. There's a certain level of privilege
that comes from being able to pay somebody to do
your lawns or to do your laundry or clean your
house or whatever it is. But to the degree that
you can do that, you do tend to feel more
time abundant. And there was one more thing that I
want to highlight here, and that is that if you
do use your spare time, or even you're not spare
(13:43):
time just in downtime, even if it's a few minutes
steering your phone, you're not going to get the sense
of time abundance that you get when you don't have
anything else on your mind. Like steering your phone scrolling
doom scrolling, or just checking out your TikTok or Instagram feed.
It's not going to give you a sense of reprieve
and release. It's keeping your brain active, it's keeping your
brain going even though you're zoning out and it doesn't
(14:07):
feel like you're getting a break. So hopefully, Kylie, that
will help you feel more time abund at this afternoon,
pay somebody to do one of those jobs you've got
to do. No no, no, okay, block out some time
this evening. You're looking at me Strangely, you're not going
to block out some can you do?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
It? Is walking the dog blocking out some time.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, let's go for a walk tonight like nine thirty
and we'll give we'll give time to the dog. Gosh,
the struggle is real. Good luck if I mean, I
really hope these ideas. We hope these ideas help you
to have a sense of time abundance. That was the
doctor's desk on the Happy Families podcast, which is produced
by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Mim Hammonds provides admin,
(14:46):
research and other support, and Mim will link to the
Techno Sapiens article and the entire substack, which described to
it's a really good one in the show notes, have
a great afternoon, evening, morning, whatever it is when you're
listening at this pod, and we can't wait to be
with you again tomorrow as we unpack everything that happened
in the Queensland school holidays. Thanks for listening
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