September 7, 2025 • 18 mins
Childcare scandals. Social media bans. Kids spending nine hours a day glued to screens. As Child Protection Week shines a spotlight on children’s safety, parents are asking: How do I really protect my kids — both online and in real life?
Dr Justin Coulson speaks with Dr Katrina Lines, CEO of Act for Kids, about shocking new research and simple ways families can protect kids online and in real life.
KEY POINTS:
- Why removing men from childcare is not the solution — and what really needs to change.
- Surprising new research: kids actually prefer time with family over screens.
- Why kids resist screen limits but thrive when they finally log off.
- How to “meet in the middle” by joining kids in their online world.
- Preparing your family for the upcoming social media age ban.
- Simple daily strategies to create real-life connection, even in busy households.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“This is the important stuff — not the cooking, not the laundry — but listening and being present with our kids.” — Dr Katrina Lines
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- Act for Kids: Let’s Connect IRL
- Happy Families Resources
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
- Create small daily “connection moments” — in the car, over dinner, or while cooking.
- Join your child occasionally in their online world to build trust and safety.
- Open conversations now about the upcoming social media age ban — listen, don’t dismiss.
- Plan one weekly family activity that everyone can look forward to.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Today, welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Minimum age legislation
for social media is just around the corner now, only
a couple of months to go, and this week it's
Child Protection Week. There are so many issues that are
occurring that cause us concern for the safety and the
well being of our children, whether it's happening online, whether
it's happening in childcare centers, or whether it's happening in
(00:28):
real life, things like bullying and challenges at school. And
one of my favorite people to talk to about these
kinds of difficulties is doctor Katrina Lines. Katrina is the
CEO of ACT for Kids and today we're going to
address those issues and more with some brand new data
from a survey that Act for Kids have done looking
at what kids need as this social media minimum age
(00:52):
legislation gets closer, stay with us. Hello, Welcome to the
Happy Families Podcast. Real parenting solutions every day. This is
Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name is doctor Justin
Coulson and this week it's Child Protection Week. As a result,
we wanted to get into some stuff that's going to
be helpful for you as you discover and decide for
(01:14):
yourself how you can help your children to be safe. Today,
my special guest, doctor Katrina Lynes, the chief executive officer
of Act for Kids. Katrina joined Act for Kids back
in two thousand and six and has been working ever
since delivering social services and clinical services at the individual, organizational,
and community level to help our kids to be safe.
(01:36):
Katrina is a clinical psychologist more than twenty years of
experience and a PhD in children's cognitive, social, and emotional
development and post grade calls by the way in governance,
business and education. Pretty well qualified to have the conversation
we're going to have. Katrina, Thanks so much for being
on the podcast. Before we talk about this new study
(01:57):
that you've done looking at connection in real life for kids,
I really want to ask you about a couple of
hard things in the news. Over the last several months,
we've been hearing about devastating, I I don't know if
there's another word for it, devastating, horrific, appalling behavior by
adults towards children in childcare centers. We've had names released
(02:19):
of men who have committed offenses over the last several years,
and most recently we found out about the horrific behavior
of a man in Melbourne, but there's also been news
that's been kept relatively quiet compared with the men looking
at some horrific torture and abuse in childcare centers from
a number of women in Sydney. Can you just talk
(02:42):
a bit about what's going on? And I guess more
to the point, you and I've both been asked about
this a lot over the last few months. What are
we supposed to do about it? Because I don't think
we can legislate around this.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
No, it's a community problem. We need to work together
as a community to protect kids, and so it's not
a government responsibility, as you said, justin to legislate against it,
because if people want to do the wrong thing, they'll
just find a way to do the wrong thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I keep on hearing people say, oh, shouldn't we get
men out of childcare? Won't that solve the problem? And
I can't think of anything worse. Your response, your reaction.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Well, as a psychologist and you know someone who's looked
at child development for her whole career, I think that
is the silliest thing I ever heard. Because children need
male and female role models, so we need to make
environments safe for them and fun and nurturing, which is
our responsibility as a community, rather than looking to the
(03:40):
government to solve the problem for us.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah. Yeah, safeguarding is so important, and yet trying to
put legislation in just makes more hoops and sort of.
I don't think it actually improves the situation. It just
makes it more difficult and you're never going to be
able to stand top of compliance anyway. What about these
childcare works, because in Sydney, these women, why do you
think that the news media didn't pick up on the
(04:05):
torture and the neglect and the abuse, like the photographs
and the filming and the laughter and delight that these
women seem to take from hurting these kids.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I think it's not as newsworthy potentially as you know,
serial child sexual abuse, which is an awful thing to say,
but it just hasn't seemed to grab the attention. And
we certainly haven't heard any rhetoric about women, you know,
leaving childcare as a result of any of those revelations
(04:38):
from Sydney or the alleged incidents in Sydney. I think
it highlights an issue for workers in child care generally,
they're generally poorly paid, struggle to have everybody mandatory trained,
and they're not a supported workforce, you know, Staffing ratios
are you know, not looked at properly, and so there's
(05:01):
too few workers for the number of kids that they're
caring for. And so I think that's a bigger problem
than whether it's males or females doing the wrong thing.
We need to be supporting workforce to be able to
know what to do and to be able to care
for kids and feel supported themselves.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Whenever I give a talk to a childcare organization and
I'm doing some staff development, I'm just in love with
these people who do such a great job generally speaking,
their hearts are big, and they love these kids and
do such good work and so often such thankless work.
I just think there are a wonderful workforce, and it's
(05:42):
such a shame that there a shame. Feels like I'm
downplaying it. It's just devastating that there are people who
are doing these kinds of things and bringing an entire
industry into disrepute when there are so many good people
doing such good work. Anyway, that's not the reason that
we've really got you here. Although I think, like I said,
it's appropriate for Child Protection Week. You've commissioned a study
(06:02):
three hundred Australian kids aged ten to sixteen looking at
connection in real life and connection online, and that's what
i wanted to talk to you about today. I'm always
fascinated when data comes through. When you had a look
at what these kids were asked and what they were
responding with, what did you find curious about what the
(06:22):
kids were saying about this Act for Kids' Research.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Well, we were interested because we've got the social media
ban looming in December, and so we wanted to see
how connected kids were online and what they really preferred.
We were actually stunned because forty one percent of kids
said they would prefer to spend time with their family
(06:46):
in person, compared to fifteen percent who said they would
prefer to go online. That was their preferred kind of
way of connecting with the world. So that's, you know,
that's really quite surprising. We thought kids would be wanting
to go online, and three quarters of the children told
us that they felt most connected to their family when
(07:07):
they're talking in person about their day, even though almost
half of them spend at least an hour a day
talking to someone online.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, So three quick responses to this, and I'd love
to get your reaction. First off, OECD Research published a
couple of months ago plus some data that came out
of a quarry UNI with doctor Brad Marshall and Professor
Wayne Warburton. Both of them found that in Australia, we're
finding that adolescents spending in recreational screen time an average
of nine hours per day just staring at their screens.
(07:40):
Those numbers are astonishing. So when I hear you say that,
it kind of there's like this clash between kids saying, well,
here's what I really want, but here's what I'm actually doing.
The second thing that it prompts for me is I
bet there's a lot of parents who are listening to
that data that you've just shared and saying, well, hang on.
Whenever I say to my kids, why don't you get
off the screen and come and spend some time doing
this thing with this, the kids don't get off the screen.
(08:01):
They winge and they whine and they mope. They're so
compelled to be on their screens. And then the third
thing that popped in my head was once the kids
do get off the screens, they really do enjoy themselves.
And it's very very rare. If you say to the kids,
what was the most fun that you had this week,
it's very rare that they'll say, oh, when we were
all staring at us screens, sitting on the couch in
the living room, that was awesome. Like they usually talk
(08:23):
about the fact that you get out and you throw
a ball around, or you jump on the trampoline, or
you cook that thing together in the kitchen. That's the
stuff they cling to, the stuff that they want. They
really they want the connection. But how do you, I guess,
respond to that disconnect where the kids are saying, yeah,
I want this in the survey, but in real life,
if my parents asked me to get off the screen,
(08:44):
I'm going to fight and winge and whine about it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I think there's a point in the middle where you
join them where they're at, and so there's you know,
their online world for themselves, and then there's the bit
in the middle where you join them where they're at,
and then there's the offline world whether you do stuff
like cook together and have fun. Nearly three quarters of
the kids told us that they felt positive about their
(09:08):
close adult being in the same room when they were online,
and seventeen percent of the young people we surveyed said
they actually felt safer, but that we asked them how
many like we asked them, you know, how often is
it that you do have an adult in the room
with you? And only ten percent of them said they do.
And so overwhelmingly the kids told us that they wanted
(09:31):
adults to join them in their online world and play
games with them or do something with them so that
they can connect. And so that's that middle space of
adults joining kids in their world that I think we're missing.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Interesting that you say that, because I'm not big on
joining my kids in the online world. I don't like
social media. I stay away from as much as possible.
I don't game. But my son in law has sort
of taken and up that role with my youngest kids,
who really do like being online, and they look forward
to going over and hanging out with their big sister
and their brother in law, because I mean, he's an adult,
(10:10):
he's in his mid twenties. My youngest is only eleven,
and they get to play all of those games and
be in that online world and they have so much fun.
I love watching it from a distance. It still isn't
enough to tempt me into it, and I'm finding other
ways to connect with my kids in real life. To
steal a phrase from you, but I think that that
idea that you've suggested is really valid. It also illustrates
(10:33):
to me that, at least the way that I'm doing it,
it highlights that when the kids have got good adults
in their lives, it doesn't really matter whether it's you
or another good, safe adult that they can trust and
rely on. They're getting those socialization needs met and they're
having that third space or that meeting in the middle
occur which satisfies their needs and helps them to feel
(10:55):
like their online experiences are able to be engaged with
in healthy ways. I does that make sense? Am I
getting that right?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah? Yes, absolutely. I mean, you know, the clear messages
that we heard from kids was that they were they
wanted to connect with their families. But there is a
disconnect I think in that generation gap where you know,
the children's world is an online social world now and
that a lot of adults don't understand it. Although I
(11:27):
think you know the example of your son in law
is that younger adults and younger parents do understand it.
Because that's kind of their world as well, and so
they want adults, they're close adults to like the things
that they're doing and be interested in the things they're doing.
And that's the same as whether they're playing sports or
they're playing Fortnite, you know, So it's it's the same
(11:50):
kind of emotion that's driving kids wanting the connection.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Well, big changes are coming after the break, I'm going
to ask doctor Katrina Lines what message we need for
families to wrap their head around with the minimum age
legislation coming into effect later this year. And we're also
going to talk about finding time to connect in real
life since that's what the kids really want. Doctor Extrina Lines,
(12:21):
the CEO of ACT for Kids. Your recent survey let's
connect in real life IRL. Pretty soon there's going to
be legislation that is designed to prevent children under the
age of sixteen from being on social media. I'd love
to get your take. I've been and interviewed about this endlessly.
What's your take though on how parents and carers can
(12:41):
guide their children as this transition occurs.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Well, I think, you know, following from what I was
saying before, justin adults don't necessarily give the social world
of children online, the weight that you know it has
for them, and so we think that switching off might
be difficult for them. But I think that young people
(13:07):
may be very fearful about it and worried and anxious
about being cut off from their friends and their network
when the band comes into effect, and that we really
need to be acknowledging that and trying to understand that
and support them through it. And so I think opening
up conversations now, not leaving it till December when the
(13:30):
band is about to come into place, and really listening
to what their worries are and showing them that you
want to understand and you want to help, asking them
what they're most worried about and what they think might help,
and getting them to identify some ideas. I also think
(13:51):
that some young people are you know, their whole social
world is online, and that they could have negative mental
health impacts, you know, and so parents and cares need
to watch for those, so things like changes in eating
and sleeping and mood as a result of the band
coming into place. So you know, open up those conversations,
(14:13):
show you a little listening, don't belittle the impact on them,
show them you want to understand and you want to help.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It's curious to me when I think about what life
was like before social media. Most of us had cordless
phones that were for the entire family, and kids would
spend a lot of time on that phone talking with
their friends. I think that private schooling means that we've
got more people from a greater variety of places coming
together for a school, which means that there's less opportunity
(14:43):
for kids to pop out into the street and hang
out with the local neighbors because they don't know them
in the same way that they did. Like once upon
a time, everyone went to the neighborhood school. That's not
the case so much anymore, not having social media. As
much as I'm broadly in favor of this legislation and
think that it's a good thing for our younger population
who are vulnerable and unfortunately are being harmed way too
(15:04):
much by what goes on in social media, there are
some very real challenges that we're going to be confronted
with because of the way the world has shifted in
the last fifteen to twenty years. I love your advice
around that. Thank you for sharing that. One last question
before I let you go. Your survey is called Let's
Connect Irl. Let's Connect in real life. Kids are demonstrating
a really strong desire for this in spite of the
(15:27):
fact that the online world is so endemic, it's so
intertwined with their lives. When you think about connection and
you think about how busy parents and caregivers are, what
would your top one or two tips be for parents
who really just want to find the time to connect
in real life with their kids but are struggling because
either the kids are a bit oppositional or life is
(15:47):
really busy.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Look, it can be really, really hard. I think if
you just focus on the day to day things you
do and trying to be present and listening to your
kids while you're doing it in the car driving home
or when you're cooking dinner. I think you were talking
before about cooking something together and making things fun that
(16:08):
are just day to day activities, but actually do them
with your kids no one's on their phone. And then
you know, planning family fun time that's quality time. But
it doesn't need to be. You know, it can be
once a week that you're planning and looking forward to
doing something together, but you know, little kids in particular
just want to come and help you cook dinner. And
(16:29):
I know it can be a pain when you you know,
everyone's just got home and you got lunch boxes everywhere,
and you you know, you're trying to get kids to
do stuff. But just taking a deep breath and letting
them hang out with you while you're doing those things
means that you get the things done, but you're actually
connecting with your kids as well.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, kids still love to ime.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Absolutely absolutely. No. Look, my kids are grown up now,
but when they were young, I'd have three of them
in the afternoon, all clamoring just to have this conversation,
and one my oldest daughter, said, right, I'm going to
get the timer out. So we had this kitchen timer
and they would time each other so they had they
(17:12):
had their own allotted time for me to listen to them.
And you know, my head was spinning because I had
to make dinner and put the washing on and blah
blah blah. But it was actually a kid generated, really
good strategy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah. It's so funny though, because when it's going on,
you're kind of going, oh, my goodness, I don't have
headspace for this. Would you all just stop making noise?
So I can do the important stuff and cook the
meal and you're like, oh, hang on, no, this is
the important stuff, the milk and wait. Doctor Katrina Lynes,
the CEO of ACT Kids, always enjoy our chats. Thanks
so much for joining me.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Thank you. Justin.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
The Have Your Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roulant
from Bridge Media. We have social admin and research support
from Mim Hammonds. If you'd like any more details about
the ACT for Kids Let's Connect irl study, we will
link to that in the show notes and for more
information and resources. Visit Happy families dot com dot au
(18:07):
to make your family happier
Today, welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Minimum age legislation
for social media is just around the corner now, only
a couple of months to go, and this week it's
Child Protection Week. There are so many issues that are
occurring that cause us concern for the safety and the
well being of our children, whether it's happening online, whether
it's happening in childcare centers, or whether it's happening in
(00:28):
real life, things like bullying and challenges at school. And
one of my favorite people to talk to about these
kinds of difficulties is doctor Katrina Lines. Katrina is the
CEO of ACT for Kids and today we're going to
address those issues and more with some brand new data
from a survey that Act for Kids have done looking
at what kids need as this social media minimum age
(00:52):
legislation gets closer, stay with us. Hello, Welcome to the
Happy Families Podcast. Real parenting solutions every day. This is
Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name is doctor Justin
Coulson and this week it's Child Protection Week. As a result,
we wanted to get into some stuff that's going to
be helpful for you as you discover and decide for
(01:14):
yourself how you can help your children to be safe. Today,
my special guest, doctor Katrina Lynes, the chief executive officer
of Act for Kids. Katrina joined Act for Kids back
in two thousand and six and has been working ever
since delivering social services and clinical services at the individual, organizational,
and community level to help our kids to be safe.
(01:36):
Katrina is a clinical psychologist more than twenty years of
experience and a PhD in children's cognitive, social, and emotional
development and post grade calls by the way in governance,
business and education. Pretty well qualified to have the conversation
we're going to have. Katrina, Thanks so much for being
on the podcast. Before we talk about this new study
(01:57):
that you've done looking at connection in real life for kids,
I really want to ask you about a couple of
hard things in the news. Over the last several months,
we've been hearing about devastating, I I don't know if
there's another word for it, devastating, horrific, appalling behavior by
adults towards children in childcare centers. We've had names released
(02:19):
of men who have committed offenses over the last several years,
and most recently we found out about the horrific behavior
of a man in Melbourne, but there's also been news
that's been kept relatively quiet compared with the men looking
at some horrific torture and abuse in childcare centers from
a number of women in Sydney. Can you just talk
(02:42):
a bit about what's going on? And I guess more
to the point, you and I've both been asked about
this a lot over the last few months. What are
we supposed to do about it? Because I don't think
we can legislate around this.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
No, it's a community problem. We need to work together
as a community to protect kids, and so it's not
a government responsibility, as you said, justin to legislate against it,
because if people want to do the wrong thing, they'll
just find a way to do the wrong thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I keep on hearing people say, oh, shouldn't we get
men out of childcare? Won't that solve the problem? And
I can't think of anything worse. Your response, your reaction.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Well, as a psychologist and you know someone who's looked
at child development for her whole career, I think that
is the silliest thing I ever heard. Because children need
male and female role models, so we need to make
environments safe for them and fun and nurturing, which is
our responsibility as a community, rather than looking to the
(03:40):
government to solve the problem for us.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah. Yeah, safeguarding is so important, and yet trying to
put legislation in just makes more hoops and sort of.
I don't think it actually improves the situation. It just
makes it more difficult and you're never going to be
able to stand top of compliance anyway. What about these
childcare works, because in Sydney, these women, why do you
think that the news media didn't pick up on the
(04:05):
torture and the neglect and the abuse, like the photographs
and the filming and the laughter and delight that these
women seem to take from hurting these kids.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I think it's not as newsworthy potentially as you know,
serial child sexual abuse, which is an awful thing to say,
but it just hasn't seemed to grab the attention. And
we certainly haven't heard any rhetoric about women, you know,
leaving childcare as a result of any of those revelations
(04:38):
from Sydney or the alleged incidents in Sydney. I think
it highlights an issue for workers in child care generally,
they're generally poorly paid, struggle to have everybody mandatory trained,
and they're not a supported workforce, you know, Staffing ratios
are you know, not looked at properly, and so there's
(05:01):
too few workers for the number of kids that they're
caring for. And so I think that's a bigger problem
than whether it's males or females doing the wrong thing.
We need to be supporting workforce to be able to
know what to do and to be able to care
for kids and feel supported themselves.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Whenever I give a talk to a childcare organization and
I'm doing some staff development, I'm just in love with
these people who do such a great job generally speaking,
their hearts are big, and they love these kids and
do such good work and so often such thankless work.
I just think there are a wonderful workforce, and it's
(05:42):
such a shame that there a shame. Feels like I'm
downplaying it. It's just devastating that there are people who
are doing these kinds of things and bringing an entire
industry into disrepute when there are so many good people
doing such good work. Anyway, that's not the reason that
we've really got you here. Although I think, like I said,
it's appropriate for Child Protection Week. You've commissioned a study
(06:02):
three hundred Australian kids aged ten to sixteen looking at
connection in real life and connection online, and that's what
i wanted to talk to you about today. I'm always
fascinated when data comes through. When you had a look
at what these kids were asked and what they were
responding with, what did you find curious about what the
(06:22):
kids were saying about this Act for Kids' Research.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Well, we were interested because we've got the social media
ban looming in December, and so we wanted to see
how connected kids were online and what they really preferred.
We were actually stunned because forty one percent of kids
said they would prefer to spend time with their family
(06:46):
in person, compared to fifteen percent who said they would
prefer to go online. That was their preferred kind of
way of connecting with the world. So that's, you know,
that's really quite surprising. We thought kids would be wanting
to go online, and three quarters of the children told
us that they felt most connected to their family when
(07:07):
they're talking in person about their day, even though almost
half of them spend at least an hour a day
talking to someone online.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, So three quick responses to this, and I'd love
to get your reaction. First off, OECD Research published a
couple of months ago plus some data that came out
of a quarry UNI with doctor Brad Marshall and Professor
Wayne Warburton. Both of them found that in Australia, we're
finding that adolescents spending in recreational screen time an average
of nine hours per day just staring at their screens.
(07:40):
Those numbers are astonishing. So when I hear you say that,
it kind of there's like this clash between kids saying, well,
here's what I really want, but here's what I'm actually doing.
The second thing that it prompts for me is I
bet there's a lot of parents who are listening to
that data that you've just shared and saying, well, hang on.
Whenever I say to my kids, why don't you get
off the screen and come and spend some time doing
this thing with this, the kids don't get off the screen.
(08:01):
They winge and they whine and they mope. They're so
compelled to be on their screens. And then the third
thing that popped in my head was once the kids
do get off the screens, they really do enjoy themselves.
And it's very very rare. If you say to the kids,
what was the most fun that you had this week,
it's very rare that they'll say, oh, when we were
all staring at us screens, sitting on the couch in
the living room, that was awesome. Like they usually talk
(08:23):
about the fact that you get out and you throw
a ball around, or you jump on the trampoline, or
you cook that thing together in the kitchen. That's the
stuff they cling to, the stuff that they want. They
really they want the connection. But how do you, I guess,
respond to that disconnect where the kids are saying, yeah,
I want this in the survey, but in real life,
if my parents asked me to get off the screen,
(08:44):
I'm going to fight and winge and whine about it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I think there's a point in the middle where you
join them where they're at, and so there's you know,
their online world for themselves, and then there's the bit
in the middle where you join them where they're at,
and then there's the offline world whether you do stuff
like cook together and have fun. Nearly three quarters of
the kids told us that they felt positive about their
(09:08):
close adult being in the same room when they were online,
and seventeen percent of the young people we surveyed said
they actually felt safer, but that we asked them how
many like we asked them, you know, how often is
it that you do have an adult in the room
with you? And only ten percent of them said they do.
And so overwhelmingly the kids told us that they wanted
(09:31):
adults to join them in their online world and play
games with them or do something with them so that
they can connect. And so that's that middle space of
adults joining kids in their world that I think we're missing.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Interesting that you say that, because I'm not big on
joining my kids in the online world. I don't like
social media. I stay away from as much as possible.
I don't game. But my son in law has sort
of taken and up that role with my youngest kids,
who really do like being online, and they look forward
to going over and hanging out with their big sister
and their brother in law, because I mean, he's an adult,
(10:10):
he's in his mid twenties. My youngest is only eleven,
and they get to play all of those games and
be in that online world and they have so much fun.
I love watching it from a distance. It still isn't
enough to tempt me into it, and I'm finding other
ways to connect with my kids in real life. To
steal a phrase from you, but I think that that
idea that you've suggested is really valid. It also illustrates
(10:33):
to me that, at least the way that I'm doing it,
it highlights that when the kids have got good adults
in their lives, it doesn't really matter whether it's you
or another good, safe adult that they can trust and
rely on. They're getting those socialization needs met and they're
having that third space or that meeting in the middle
occur which satisfies their needs and helps them to feel
(10:55):
like their online experiences are able to be engaged with
in healthy ways. I does that make sense? Am I
getting that right?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah? Yes, absolutely. I mean, you know, the clear messages
that we heard from kids was that they were they
wanted to connect with their families. But there is a
disconnect I think in that generation gap where you know,
the children's world is an online social world now and
that a lot of adults don't understand it. Although I
(11:27):
think you know the example of your son in law
is that younger adults and younger parents do understand it.
Because that's kind of their world as well, and so
they want adults, they're close adults to like the things
that they're doing and be interested in the things they're doing.
And that's the same as whether they're playing sports or
they're playing Fortnite, you know, So it's it's the same
(11:50):
kind of emotion that's driving kids wanting the connection.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Well, big changes are coming after the break, I'm going
to ask doctor Katrina Lines what message we need for
families to wrap their head around with the minimum age
legislation coming into effect later this year. And we're also
going to talk about finding time to connect in real
life since that's what the kids really want. Doctor Extrina Lines,
(12:21):
the CEO of ACT for Kids. Your recent survey let's
connect in real life IRL. Pretty soon there's going to
be legislation that is designed to prevent children under the
age of sixteen from being on social media. I'd love
to get your take. I've been and interviewed about this endlessly.
What's your take though on how parents and carers can
(12:41):
guide their children as this transition occurs.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Well, I think, you know, following from what I was
saying before, justin adults don't necessarily give the social world
of children online, the weight that you know it has
for them, and so we think that switching off might
be difficult for them. But I think that young people
(13:07):
may be very fearful about it and worried and anxious
about being cut off from their friends and their network
when the band comes into effect, and that we really
need to be acknowledging that and trying to understand that
and support them through it. And so I think opening
up conversations now, not leaving it till December when the
(13:30):
band is about to come into place, and really listening
to what their worries are and showing them that you
want to understand and you want to help, asking them
what they're most worried about and what they think might help,
and getting them to identify some ideas. I also think
(13:51):
that some young people are you know, their whole social
world is online, and that they could have negative mental
health impacts, you know, and so parents and cares need
to watch for those, so things like changes in eating
and sleeping and mood as a result of the band
coming into place. So you know, open up those conversations,
(14:13):
show you a little listening, don't belittle the impact on them,
show them you want to understand and you want to help.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It's curious to me when I think about what life
was like before social media. Most of us had cordless
phones that were for the entire family, and kids would
spend a lot of time on that phone talking with
their friends. I think that private schooling means that we've
got more people from a greater variety of places coming
together for a school, which means that there's less opportunity
(14:43):
for kids to pop out into the street and hang
out with the local neighbors because they don't know them
in the same way that they did. Like once upon
a time, everyone went to the neighborhood school. That's not
the case so much anymore, not having social media. As
much as I'm broadly in favor of this legislation and
think that it's a good thing for our younger population
who are vulnerable and unfortunately are being harmed way too
(15:04):
much by what goes on in social media, there are
some very real challenges that we're going to be confronted
with because of the way the world has shifted in
the last fifteen to twenty years. I love your advice
around that. Thank you for sharing that. One last question
before I let you go. Your survey is called Let's
Connect Irl. Let's Connect in real life. Kids are demonstrating
a really strong desire for this in spite of the
(15:27):
fact that the online world is so endemic, it's so
intertwined with their lives. When you think about connection and
you think about how busy parents and caregivers are, what
would your top one or two tips be for parents
who really just want to find the time to connect
in real life with their kids but are struggling because
either the kids are a bit oppositional or life is
(15:47):
really busy.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Look, it can be really, really hard. I think if
you just focus on the day to day things you
do and trying to be present and listening to your
kids while you're doing it in the car driving home
or when you're cooking dinner. I think you were talking
before about cooking something together and making things fun that
(16:08):
are just day to day activities, but actually do them
with your kids no one's on their phone. And then
you know, planning family fun time that's quality time. But
it doesn't need to be. You know, it can be
once a week that you're planning and looking forward to
doing something together, but you know, little kids in particular
just want to come and help you cook dinner. And
(16:29):
I know it can be a pain when you you know,
everyone's just got home and you got lunch boxes everywhere,
and you you know, you're trying to get kids to
do stuff. But just taking a deep breath and letting
them hang out with you while you're doing those things
means that you get the things done, but you're actually
connecting with your kids as well.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, kids still love to ime.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Absolutely absolutely. No. Look, my kids are grown up now,
but when they were young, I'd have three of them
in the afternoon, all clamoring just to have this conversation,
and one my oldest daughter, said, right, I'm going to
get the timer out. So we had this kitchen timer
and they would time each other so they had they
(17:12):
had their own allotted time for me to listen to them.
And you know, my head was spinning because I had
to make dinner and put the washing on and blah
blah blah. But it was actually a kid generated, really
good strategy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah. It's so funny though, because when it's going on,
you're kind of going, oh, my goodness, I don't have
headspace for this. Would you all just stop making noise?
So I can do the important stuff and cook the
meal and you're like, oh, hang on, no, this is
the important stuff, the milk and wait. Doctor Katrina Lynes,
the CEO of ACT Kids, always enjoy our chats. Thanks
so much for joining me.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Thank you. Justin.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
The Have Your Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roulant
from Bridge Media. We have social admin and research support
from Mim Hammonds. If you'd like any more details about
the ACT for Kids Let's Connect irl study, we will
link to that in the show notes and for more
information and resources. Visit Happy families dot com dot au
(18:07):
to make your family happier
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