December 11, 2025 • 23 mins
This week, Australia made global headlines — and parents everywhere felt it. Justin shares the emotional, history-making moment inside Kirribilli House as the new social-media age laws rolled out, the families whose stories shaped the legislation, and why this shift matters more than most people realise. Plus: the behind-the-scenes chaos of a family holiday that turned into a resilience masterclass. A powerful mix of emotion, insight, and laugh-so-you-don’t-cry parenting moments.
KEY POINTS
- Inside the Kirribilli House event announcing Australia’s new age restrictions for social media.
- The heartbreaking parent stories that pushed lawmakers to act — and why the room was filled with tears.
- A rare moment of political unity that left Justin with goosebumps.
- What this new law actually means for teens, parents, and tech platforms in the months ahead.
- A family holiday disaster (expired passports, food poisoning, meltdowns, gale-force winds)… turned into a resilience-building win.
- Why doing hard, screen-free things is the secret ingredient to family connection.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"This isn’t about politics. This is about our kids." — Prime Minister Albanese
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Heads Up Alliance
- Let Them Be Kids campaign
- Go Rail Trail (Queenstown)
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Talk to your teen about Australia’s new age rules and what they mean for your family.
- Watch how platforms respond over the next few months — enforcement will evolve.
- Create screen-incompatible moments: activities that pull kids away from devices naturally.
- Normalise hard things — help your kids practise choosing helpful thoughts when challenges arise.
Lean into connection: shared struggle (and shared laughter) builds family closeness faster than comfort ever will.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Today. Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. As we inch
closer to Christmas, Friday, the twelfth of December. A lot
to talk about today. First off, Kylie and I have
been away for the last couple of weeks with the family,
celebrating my fiftieth birthday, and there is some stuff to
talk about when it comes to old do better tomorrow.
But as we always do on a Friday, there's a
little bit of this week in parenting. Oh my goodness,
(00:28):
has Australia gone bonkers? Global attention is on this country
as a result of the minimum age legislation for social
media with age limits. If you're under sixteen, you can
no longer be on social media. I got a little
bit of a special invite to a fancy shindig. We're
going to talk about that and a whole lot more
in today's episode of the podcast. Stay with us until
(00:50):
coming up next. Hello. Welcome to the Happy Families podcast,
where you get real parenting solutions every single day. This
is Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name's stocks Justin Calson.
I'm here with this is Happy Families. My wife and
mum to our six children, Kylie and Kylie, let's just
crack on straight away, because there's so much to talk
about and people are busy. This week in parenting, Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Was a pretty big day across the country, around the world. Hello.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
We start in Australia because in a few hours time,
the Social Media Band for children under the age of
sixteen will come into effect. The legislations aimed at protecting
children from cyber bullying, online predators and harmful content.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
The eyes of the world were upon Australia. Social media
legislation finally implemented, and.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You've got an unexpected special invite. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I did a little bit of a flex here. I
got an email from the Communications Minister her office, Minister Wells,
and went to Kiribilly House on Wednesday, the residents of
the Prime Minister, with maybe forty or fifty other people
to celebrate the implementation of the new legislation.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
And here we were thinking all of your travel had finished.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I know, yeah, last trip of the year, last trip
of the year, in and out in one day.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You were you said, there's about forty people there. Who
was there?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So Julian mcgrant, the Safety Commission, who's obviously running the
show as well, as the Communications Minister, Anika Wells, the
Prime Minister was there and in terms of the people
who were invited, I think I was the only quote
unquite parenting expert that was there. Mainly it was families
who have experienced the devastating impact of where social media
goes wrong. So parents who have lost their children because
(02:35):
they've been bullied online, or because they've been sex storted online,
or because they've just been they've endured horrendous hardship. It
was Fitzi and Whipper from Nova in Sydney. Michael Whipley.
Whipper was the MC for the day. He has been
involved in a not for profit that's been really pushing
let's wait thirty six months, let's push it from thirteen
(02:56):
to sixteen before kids are online and so and a
bunch of the people involved in that work they were there.
It was a really really select and really I think important,
meaningful group of people who were in attendance.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
What was the general vibe as you were there with
I mean, these parents.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Have to stand shoulder, and the shoulder.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Experience the unspeakable, the unimaginable, and to be able to
be there and not only acknowledge them, but say we
want to do something about this.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
People like Dannie A. Larchi from the Heads Up Alliance,
he was there. The vibe was that there were many tears.
I mean, these people who have been affected catastrophically, like
you said, unspeakably, horrendously, awfully, and to stand beside them
was just humbling, honestly. But the vibe was generally so positive.
(03:54):
I mean, these are people who were saying, oh gosh,
we've been begging for this for years, this thing has happened.
The journalists who has really driven the news corps Let
Them Be Kids campaign was there running that. I mean,
it was just it was a really, really great vibe.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You actually haven't shared a lot about the day with me.
What was your highlight? Was your take home?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
What was your Oh? Yeah, So basically we showed up.
Everyone has to wait on the street because the police
have to let you in and you've got to be
checked and everything. And when you I mean we all
just showed up. We've got to hang out on the
back deck looking out over the harbor, and a few
of us snuck inside of the living room and got
a photo in front of Elbow's Christmas tree, which is
very nice, but basically there was quite a big press
(04:36):
conference and then a lot of I guess socializing in
the press conference. Two things. Everybody spoke brilliantly. It was
so well done, and I wish I could. We don't
have time for everybody, but I wish I could talk
about everybody's comments. But there was one thing that really
stood out to me that the Prime Minister said, and
that was as he was drawing his remarks to a close,
(04:58):
he was really magnanim and pointed to Peter Dutton, the
former opposition leader, and talked about how without his support
this wouldn't have happened as well. So this was a
real bipartisan effort. And as a political leader who's saying,
look what we've done, this is a big deal, aren't
we awesome for him to pause and say, this is
actually not about politics. This is about our kids. Both
(05:19):
sides of politics were behind this, Both sides of politics
gave it, they're all It passed. This legislation passed in
extraordinarily fast time given the complexities around it, and it
was because of the opposition supporting the government in getting
it through.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So that was just a nation coming together in unity.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, Yeah, that was a genuine highlight. It was sort
of a goosebumps moment because you just don't see politicians
giving a lot of credit to the opposition very often.
The other thing that was a true highlight. I'm going
to have him on the podcast next year. I've almost
done it a couple of times. There's a wonderful man
by the name of Wayne Holdsworth. His son Mac took
(05:57):
his life after being sextorted a couple of years go,
and he's created a charity and does a lot of
work to help save lives. And his work has been
directly linked to a large number of kids who have
literally said I would not be here today if you
hadn't come and talked to me at the school today.
This guy's just doing great work. And when I'm getting
teary talking about it, when Wayne spoke to the audience
(06:20):
and to the press conference, I mean, it was just chills.
He was brilliant, and right at the very end he
looked up to the heavens and just pointed up and
said this is a few Maac, and it was just
just heartbreaking. And for me, it just highlighted why this
legislation matters so much. You've got all these people who
(06:42):
out there saying, oh, it's an infringement on our rights
and our civil liberties. This is the government's way to
get backdoor into everybody's digital identities. Blah blah blah. No, no,
it's actually not. This is about kids. This is about families.
This is about parents getting the support they need. This
is about making a difference. These are the same people
who are complaining, by the way, who probably complain that
(07:03):
we have to wear seatbelts, like, get over yourself. This
is good legislation. So they were the highlights. They were
the things that made it really worth being there.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It feels a little bit jarring to kind of move
on from that conversation and continue. But we need to
in light of the band. What are kids doing now
that the band is in place?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah? I know so the newspaper's are full of stories
about how kids are getting around the band. We knew
this would happen. This is not a surprise. The newspaper
just loves a scandal. And now the government's done it,
they will be higher. But now there's problems with it.
No legislation is going to I feel like I'm an
apologist for the government. I'm not, but this is we
need to give this time. Kids are going to get
around around it. Our daughter called me on Wednesday afternoon
(07:47):
and said, this is Lily. She's fifteen, she's about to
turn sixteen, but at this very moment she's not supposed
to be on social media. She said, Dad, I haven't
been kicked off the platforms, and it was so beautiful.
She said, would you like me to delete them anyway?
And I actually said to her, well, because of the podcasting,
because we want to be across what's going on, could
you just keep it for another few days because we
(08:07):
want to see what happens. And so she still hasn't
been kicked off, and so this is really interesting for
us to watch the way the tech companies are implementing this.
The other thing that's happening is that teenagers are using
their big brother's face or their for the boys, or
the big sisters face of the girls, or they're lying
about their age, or they are just transferring to new
(08:30):
platforms that are not covered by the band. So in
some ways this is going to be a game of
whack a mole. But I think over the next two months,
three months, six months, twelve months, that's when we're going
to see this happen. Like the any legislation, it doesn't
just start and everything is right. So that's where we're
up to.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I also think, though, while it might not necessarily have
the impact that we would love it to have on
our fourteen fifteen year olds, and now as as a
community we become more aware of the dangers, it's the
children that are coming up behind this, this teenage group,
that are really going to benefit from it if we
(09:09):
can back it, if we can actually you know, kind
of recognize that handing over a smartphone to a twelve
year old is just, you know, kind of asking for trouble.
If we can you know, kind of prolong our children
getting on too social media platforms. It's the kids that
haven't yet experienced it who are actually going to benefit
(09:29):
the most from what you guys have been fighting for.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Totally, this is a long game. This is not a
oh my goodness, the new legislation is in and now
everything is fine. It's not even closed.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Look at how long it's taken us to get to
this point. It's going to take that much time again
for us to kind of find the new space that
will protect children and the way.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
We hope Albo made the comment about alcohol is like,
we've got a rule, a law, and that is it.
If you're under eighteen, you don't drink. Now, there are
a million kids a year who are breaking that law,
but we've drawn a line in the sand and there
is some enforcement. But more than anything, it just gives
parents who really want their kids to stay off alcohol.
(10:10):
They're able to say, you know what, it's against the law.
We're not going to endorse this. We're not going to
So that's that's what we're doing. Anyway. That was my
that was my wonderful experience at Curabilly, And that's this
week in parenting. Big stuff. Up next, let's review our
getaway to Queenstown where we ask our children to get
(10:32):
on a bike and ride non stop for four days
for my birthday. We're back. This is the Happy Families podcast,
reparenting solutions every single day. Okay, Kylie, I've been looking
forward to Show and Tell, I've been looking forward to
newsday and we would have spent a lot more time
(10:53):
on the holiday, but it's been a big week with
the social media stuff. For my fiftieth we booked a
family holiday to go and ride the Otago Rail trail.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
It was your heart's desire to put us through the ringer.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah. Yeah, I actually said, we're going to do something
hard because our kids don't do enough hard things. For
my birthday, We're going to ride one hundred and fifty
two kilometers with ten people, you and I, the oldest,
our six children, plus our son in law and our
two year old granddaughter.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
So we aged from fifty down.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Two yeah, four days, one hundred and fifty two k's.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Rain with two riders in the pack.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, you and I are the only ones that actually ride.
And we said to the kids, this will be memorable.
You'll decide why. That's pretty much how it worked out.
This will be memorable. You decide why it will be
memorable and how it will be memorable. And it was memorable.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Well, I'm going to put you under the bus a
little bit. It started off memorable for all the wrong
all the wrong reason.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Okay, two things. First of all, I was dealing with
enduring food poisoning. I bought a barn me from a
place in Springwood and in South Brisbane, and oh my goodness,
like two weeks later and I was still in all
sorts of trouble. But then we arrived at the airport
on the morning were supposed to fly to Queenstown to
(12:10):
discover that our youngest child, Emily's passport, had expired. So
I waved goodbye to you and the rest of the
family while Emily and I drive back into Brisbane to
the passport office so that we could get an emergency passport.
And then we were at the passport office, they wouldn't
give me an emergency passport because.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
If they needed my signature, you need.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
To consent to our daughter getting a passport. Otherwise it
looks like I'm trying to steal our daughter and fly
out of the country tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
So the last thing I did on the tarmac was
to send you a picture with my passport.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
With your face, saying I had said let them come,
and they said not good enough. And then they told
me that because of the time zone difference and when
you were landing and you weren't going to be able
to talk to the embassy and confirm and consent and
we'd have to wait till monday. I was just looked like, well,
I might as well. Not good and you forget it.
It's over. My fiftieth birthday has just gone down the toilet.
Oh my goodness. Anyway, long story short, we found some solutions.
(12:58):
They were flexible and work with us, and you got
to give consent in a way that was still within
the rules, and we got the passport. So Saturday instead
of Friday, I flew out to Queenstown.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You guys, but that manned that you actually missed the
first day of our trail ride.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Which sounds like it was the hardest, most brutal, miserable
bay on a bike.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That it really was. We were riding through thirty kilometer
headwinds and to the point where the kids, who are
not obviously experienced.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Riders, they're not cyclists and they're.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Not strong on a bike. They actually had to weave
the path. They couldn't drive a straight line like it was.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Which is funny because rail trails don't have steep hills
like it's the ascent is there. It wasn't the ascent,
it was just how it.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Was the wind. And so halfway through the ride, I've
seen one of the children up ahead, they've stopped. I've
shown up. She's having a full blonde panic attack. Is
she was an absolute mess, could not breathe, she was
losing the plot.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
And so I had to I've still got another one
hundred and twenty seven killed.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm like, what this always happened when you're not here?
So I had to talk her through that. I managed
to work my way with her through that, and then not,
I don't know, five kilometers up the road, I've caught
up with one of our other daughters. And she literally like,
I don't know how she stayed upright. She was moving
so slowly because the wind was so bad, and she
(14:26):
was weaving, and just honestly, how she stood up, I
don't know. But she was bawling her eyes out and
she just she was like, I can't do this. She said,
there is no way I can do this for four days.
This is the worst. Like she was just having a
melt down.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I meanwhile, Emily and I were sitting on the plane
flying across the queen's town and thinking, oh, I can't
wait to get there.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And I thought, if we've got to do four days
of this, I just think this is going to be
an absolute.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
We gave this a year's notice and said go out
and practice writing, like, spend some time, get some killer
me in your legs, improve your fitness so that this
is not too hard that I mean, we gave them
so much notice and you know how many bike rides
they had. Zero They literally didn't get on the bike
zero zero.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So day two we finally reunited as a whole family.
You join us, you've got fresh legs, where like, I'm
not sure if we want to do this to go
for a big ride. And it was it was Emily's turn.
This was day one for her. She's eleven and she
rode forty one kilometers. Yeah, I mean, honestly, for a
kid who's never done that, let alone not done regular riding,
(15:36):
she did.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Just exception also got to highlight on both day one
and Day two, which were the two hardest days without question,
our eldest Chanel and her husband Jared, even though they
were dealing with a two year old, super team players,
super support. This is the great thing about big kids
if they can be a team player. They were happy
to ride beside the kids, give them encurry, give them food,
(16:01):
give them a push on the back, and help them
to keep on going. Like just it was so good
to see the team player thing. Oh I forgot to
mention this, well, what about the hay fever? Oh my god,
I had to buy a box of ninety because the
kids faces were swelling out.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
We were literally watching what do you call those little
fluffy things, dandylion, dandylion blow things. They were literally just
like through the whole sky. And some of our kids
don't actually suffer from hay fever generally, they were going nuts.
But our one daughter, who actually does suffer fairly regularly,
(16:36):
face was puffy, case was puffy, her eyes were just
she was in agony. And I did forget to mention
because this is actually a highlight for me when our
daughter was having the big meltdown on day one. I've
talked to her lots about, you know, kind of the
idea that at any moment in time, any event that
(16:57):
we experienced, it is not it's a new mutual experience.
It's not positive or negative until we decide.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah, it's our cognition is Yeah. The values or the
ideas or the way that we choose to interpret it
that makes it good about it?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah. And so I said to her, I know that
what you're doing is really hard right now, I said,
We're all doing it hard. We've all got different thresholds
for hard, but we're doing it hard. And I said,
so knowing and understanding that our thoughts matter, what's another
thought that you could have right now that would be
helpful because the one you're having is crushing your soul.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Other than I.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
And she literally screamed at me on the track and
she said, it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Doesn't make any difference.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
She was so mad. It was interesting because three days later,
I'm on the track and I'm done. I've got no
purp in my step. I was really struggling, and she
kind of slowed down so she could catch up with me,
and she's like, Mommy, how are you doing? And I said, actually,
you know what, I'm doing a bit tough today. And
she kind of looked at me and she said, make
(18:04):
sure you choose good thoughts and write off. And I thought,
the irony this kid who told me two days earlier
that thoughts didn't make made no difference.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well, the funny thing about that, as well, is that
I caught up with her writing beside our youngest eimily
literally having exactly the same conversation with her. You get
to choose your thoughts. I'm right here with you. You've
got this. You've been so strong all the way. But
this was the thing and this is why I wanted
to do the holiday. By the way, the views were stunning.
It wasn't all hard. The kids came together really well
(18:37):
and we had experiences that we will remember for the
rest of our lives. And the critical thing for me
is the kids came together, they supported each other, they
worked on hard things and genuinely the highlight for me
was when we got in the bus and we had
like a two and a half hour drive back to Queenstown.
It was all over three hour drive back to Queenstown.
(18:59):
When it was done, we went around the bus because
the ten of us filled up the bus and we
said to all the kids, well, what were your highlights?
And they all they just spoke in such glowing terms
about how much they'd loved the holiday, the bike riding.
They loved the fact that they did something hard, that
they were away from their screens. They were doing something
(19:19):
that was incompatible with being on a screen, and it
felt freeing for them. But the absolute best feedback of
all was that several of the kids said, we'd like
to do something like this again. When can we book
another trip?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
For me, I look at all of these little moments
and I honestly I do wish that we'd had a
videographer follow us because there were so many moments where
two children were riding side by side and one had
a hand on the back of the other because they
were struggling, or there was three across the path, or
just you know, the baby on the side of the
(20:00):
road decided she just had had enough and needed to
she was going to walk the pass.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
The two year old meltdowns were pretty spectacular.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
She was going to walk the past. She was done
ridings is going to walk.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
That's rough. You're two years old. You're sitting in the
back of one of those carriages, or you're sitting on
a baby seat on the back of a bike. It's cold,
you're not exercising like the whole nobody's talking to you
because you're behind. Yeah, this was a This was a
real challenge for Shanel, Jared and Indy and everyone did
it with flying colors. It was just such a treat.
I can't recommend it highly enough. The Otago Rail Trail,
(20:32):
it's not sponsored, we don'tet anything for it. We didn't
get a discount for the thing. We paid full freight
and it was not the cheapest trip we've ever done,
but it was. It was a highlight. It was a
real delight, and I'm excited about doing another thing like
that again as well.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
So, if you were going to round out the holiday,
what's your take home message?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Doing things that are incompatible with screens and that are
challenging a vastly better than sitting on a beach and
staring at a screen and doing nothing. That's really what
it is, and the way the kids responded to it
is what really drives that home for me. I mean,
the reality is I would much rather go on a
surfing trip and please myself, right, I'd much rather just
(21:17):
eat nice food by the beach. I get I get it,
But from a I'd rather choose enlargement rather than happiness,
and this was enlarging, and not just for me but
for the whole family. I cannot. I was gonna say,
I can't think of a better fiftieth birthday present. I
actually can. I'm not gonna lie I can, but I'm
(21:37):
not going to go into that here. I'm really glad
that we chose to do it, and another trip like
that is very much on my agenda. I'm already looking
at options and Emily can't wait to do it in Japan,
So that's what I'm looking at. Okay, I mean it
might takes few years to sleep up.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
He gonna ask me what might take on?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh yes, of course. I'm so sorry. We're out of
time and I was about to wrap it up, but
let's just wrap it up with your take home message.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
So as we did debrief with the kids on our
last night around the fire, I asked them.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
So funny, here we are sitting in the middle of
an Australian hot summer, and two weeks ago we were
literally sitting around the fire going, oh my goodness, that's
so gold.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
We had friends do this trip and that's why we
decided to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
They described it as idyllic. You know, the weather was perfect.
We literally rode through rain and you know, eight degrees
and like I said, thirty kilometer head wind. It was
so hard. But when I asked them what their biggest
learning was, one of the kids just said, I'm so
grateful that you taught us from such a young age
(22:41):
that we can do hard things. She said, because this
was really hard and I didn't want to come. And
she said, but I did something really hard and it
feels good.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
And this is resilience building right and.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
For me, outside of putting them into an uncomfortable setting
and asking them to do something hard, what I loved
the most and my take home is that when we're
willing to show up, we get to have experiences that
edify and build relationships. And coming from backgrounds and families
(23:20):
where often there are individuals who choose not to show up,
that is the greatest blessing in my life in yours,
I love that our kids choose to come on.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's provides research and admin and a
whole lot of other support and if you would like
more information about making your family happier, we'd love for
you to visit us at happy families dot com dot
a
Today. Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. As we inch
closer to Christmas, Friday, the twelfth of December. A lot
to talk about today. First off, Kylie and I have
been away for the last couple of weeks with the family,
celebrating my fiftieth birthday, and there is some stuff to
talk about when it comes to old do better tomorrow.
But as we always do on a Friday, there's a
little bit of this week in parenting. Oh my goodness,
(00:28):
has Australia gone bonkers? Global attention is on this country
as a result of the minimum age legislation for social
media with age limits. If you're under sixteen, you can
no longer be on social media. I got a little
bit of a special invite to a fancy shindig. We're
going to talk about that and a whole lot more
in today's episode of the podcast. Stay with us until
(00:50):
coming up next. Hello. Welcome to the Happy Families podcast,
where you get real parenting solutions every single day. This
is Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. My name's stocks Justin Calson.
I'm here with this is Happy Families. My wife and
mum to our six children, Kylie and Kylie, let's just
crack on straight away, because there's so much to talk
about and people are busy. This week in parenting, Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Was a pretty big day across the country, around the world. Hello.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
We start in Australia because in a few hours time,
the Social Media Band for children under the age of
sixteen will come into effect. The legislations aimed at protecting
children from cyber bullying, online predators and harmful content.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
The eyes of the world were upon Australia. Social media
legislation finally implemented, and.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You've got an unexpected special invite. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I did a little bit of a flex here. I
got an email from the Communications Minister her office, Minister Wells,
and went to Kiribilly House on Wednesday, the residents of
the Prime Minister, with maybe forty or fifty other people
to celebrate the implementation of the new legislation.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
And here we were thinking all of your travel had finished.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I know, yeah, last trip of the year, last trip
of the year, in and out in one day.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You were you said, there's about forty people there. Who
was there?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So Julian mcgrant, the Safety Commission, who's obviously running the
show as well, as the Communications Minister, Anika Wells, the
Prime Minister was there and in terms of the people
who were invited, I think I was the only quote
unquite parenting expert that was there. Mainly it was families
who have experienced the devastating impact of where social media
goes wrong. So parents who have lost their children because
(02:35):
they've been bullied online, or because they've been sex storted online,
or because they've just been they've endured horrendous hardship. It
was Fitzi and Whipper from Nova in Sydney. Michael Whipley.
Whipper was the MC for the day. He has been
involved in a not for profit that's been really pushing
let's wait thirty six months, let's push it from thirteen
(02:56):
to sixteen before kids are online and so and a
bunch of the people involved in that work they were there.
It was a really really select and really I think important,
meaningful group of people who were in attendance.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
What was the general vibe as you were there with
I mean, these parents.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Have to stand shoulder, and the shoulder.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Experience the unspeakable, the unimaginable, and to be able to
be there and not only acknowledge them, but say we
want to do something about this.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
People like Dannie A. Larchi from the Heads Up Alliance,
he was there. The vibe was that there were many tears.
I mean, these people who have been affected catastrophically, like
you said, unspeakably, horrendously, awfully, and to stand beside them
was just humbling, honestly. But the vibe was generally so positive.
(03:54):
I mean, these are people who were saying, oh gosh,
we've been begging for this for years, this thing has happened.
The journalists who has really driven the news corps Let
Them Be Kids campaign was there running that. I mean,
it was just it was a really, really great vibe.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You actually haven't shared a lot about the day with me.
What was your highlight? Was your take home?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
What was your Oh? Yeah, So basically we showed up.
Everyone has to wait on the street because the police
have to let you in and you've got to be
checked and everything. And when you I mean we all
just showed up. We've got to hang out on the
back deck looking out over the harbor, and a few
of us snuck inside of the living room and got
a photo in front of Elbow's Christmas tree, which is
very nice, but basically there was quite a big press
(04:36):
conference and then a lot of I guess socializing in
the press conference. Two things. Everybody spoke brilliantly. It was
so well done, and I wish I could. We don't
have time for everybody, but I wish I could talk
about everybody's comments. But there was one thing that really
stood out to me that the Prime Minister said, and
that was as he was drawing his remarks to a close,
(04:58):
he was really magnanim and pointed to Peter Dutton, the
former opposition leader, and talked about how without his support
this wouldn't have happened as well. So this was a
real bipartisan effort. And as a political leader who's saying,
look what we've done, this is a big deal, aren't
we awesome for him to pause and say, this is
actually not about politics. This is about our kids. Both
(05:19):
sides of politics were behind this, Both sides of politics
gave it, they're all It passed. This legislation passed in
extraordinarily fast time given the complexities around it, and it
was because of the opposition supporting the government in getting
it through.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
So that was just a nation coming together in unity.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, Yeah, that was a genuine highlight. It was sort
of a goosebumps moment because you just don't see politicians
giving a lot of credit to the opposition very often.
The other thing that was a true highlight. I'm going
to have him on the podcast next year. I've almost
done it a couple of times. There's a wonderful man
by the name of Wayne Holdsworth. His son Mac took
(05:57):
his life after being sextorted a couple of years go,
and he's created a charity and does a lot of
work to help save lives. And his work has been
directly linked to a large number of kids who have
literally said I would not be here today if you
hadn't come and talked to me at the school today.
This guy's just doing great work. And when I'm getting
teary talking about it, when Wayne spoke to the audience
(06:20):
and to the press conference, I mean, it was just chills.
He was brilliant, and right at the very end he
looked up to the heavens and just pointed up and
said this is a few Maac, and it was just
just heartbreaking. And for me, it just highlighted why this
legislation matters so much. You've got all these people who
(06:42):
out there saying, oh, it's an infringement on our rights
and our civil liberties. This is the government's way to
get backdoor into everybody's digital identities. Blah blah blah. No, no,
it's actually not. This is about kids. This is about families.
This is about parents getting the support they need. This
is about making a difference. These are the same people
who are complaining, by the way, who probably complain that
(07:03):
we have to wear seatbelts, like, get over yourself. This
is good legislation. So they were the highlights. They were
the things that made it really worth being there.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It feels a little bit jarring to kind of move
on from that conversation and continue. But we need to
in light of the band. What are kids doing now
that the band is in place?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah? I know so the newspaper's are full of stories
about how kids are getting around the band. We knew
this would happen. This is not a surprise. The newspaper
just loves a scandal. And now the government's done it,
they will be higher. But now there's problems with it.
No legislation is going to I feel like I'm an
apologist for the government. I'm not, but this is we
need to give this time. Kids are going to get
around around it. Our daughter called me on Wednesday afternoon
(07:47):
and said, this is Lily. She's fifteen, she's about to
turn sixteen, but at this very moment she's not supposed
to be on social media. She said, Dad, I haven't
been kicked off the platforms, and it was so beautiful.
She said, would you like me to delete them anyway?
And I actually said to her, well, because of the podcasting,
because we want to be across what's going on, could
you just keep it for another few days because we
(08:07):
want to see what happens. And so she still hasn't
been kicked off, and so this is really interesting for
us to watch the way the tech companies are implementing this.
The other thing that's happening is that teenagers are using
their big brother's face or their for the boys, or
the big sisters face of the girls, or they're lying
about their age, or they are just transferring to new
(08:30):
platforms that are not covered by the band. So in
some ways this is going to be a game of
whack a mole. But I think over the next two months,
three months, six months, twelve months, that's when we're going
to see this happen. Like the any legislation, it doesn't
just start and everything is right. So that's where we're
up to.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I also think, though, while it might not necessarily have
the impact that we would love it to have on
our fourteen fifteen year olds, and now as as a
community we become more aware of the dangers, it's the
children that are coming up behind this, this teenage group,
that are really going to benefit from it if we
(09:09):
can back it, if we can actually you know, kind
of recognize that handing over a smartphone to a twelve
year old is just, you know, kind of asking for trouble.
If we can you know, kind of prolong our children
getting on too social media platforms. It's the kids that
haven't yet experienced it who are actually going to benefit
(09:29):
the most from what you guys have been fighting for.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Totally, this is a long game. This is not a
oh my goodness, the new legislation is in and now
everything is fine. It's not even closed.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Look at how long it's taken us to get to
this point. It's going to take that much time again
for us to kind of find the new space that
will protect children and the way.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
We hope Albo made the comment about alcohol is like,
we've got a rule, a law, and that is it.
If you're under eighteen, you don't drink. Now, there are
a million kids a year who are breaking that law,
but we've drawn a line in the sand and there
is some enforcement. But more than anything, it just gives
parents who really want their kids to stay off alcohol.
(10:10):
They're able to say, you know what, it's against the law.
We're not going to endorse this. We're not going to
So that's that's what we're doing. Anyway. That was my
that was my wonderful experience at Curabilly, And that's this
week in parenting. Big stuff. Up next, let's review our
getaway to Queenstown where we ask our children to get
(10:32):
on a bike and ride non stop for four days
for my birthday. We're back. This is the Happy Families podcast,
reparenting solutions every single day. Okay, Kylie, I've been looking
forward to Show and Tell, I've been looking forward to
newsday and we would have spent a lot more time
(10:53):
on the holiday, but it's been a big week with
the social media stuff. For my fiftieth we booked a
family holiday to go and ride the Otago Rail trail.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
It was your heart's desire to put us through the ringer.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah. Yeah, I actually said, we're going to do something
hard because our kids don't do enough hard things. For
my birthday, We're going to ride one hundred and fifty
two kilometers with ten people, you and I, the oldest,
our six children, plus our son in law and our
two year old granddaughter.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
So we aged from fifty down.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Two yeah, four days, one hundred and fifty two k's.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Rain with two riders in the pack.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, you and I are the only ones that actually ride.
And we said to the kids, this will be memorable.
You'll decide why. That's pretty much how it worked out.
This will be memorable. You decide why it will be
memorable and how it will be memorable. And it was memorable.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Well, I'm going to put you under the bus a
little bit. It started off memorable for all the wrong
all the wrong reason.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Okay, two things. First of all, I was dealing with
enduring food poisoning. I bought a barn me from a
place in Springwood and in South Brisbane, and oh my goodness,
like two weeks later and I was still in all
sorts of trouble. But then we arrived at the airport
on the morning were supposed to fly to Queenstown to
(12:10):
discover that our youngest child, Emily's passport, had expired. So
I waved goodbye to you and the rest of the
family while Emily and I drive back into Brisbane to
the passport office so that we could get an emergency passport.
And then we were at the passport office, they wouldn't
give me an emergency passport because.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
If they needed my signature, you need.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
To consent to our daughter getting a passport. Otherwise it
looks like I'm trying to steal our daughter and fly
out of the country tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
So the last thing I did on the tarmac was
to send you a picture with my passport.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
With your face, saying I had said let them come,
and they said not good enough. And then they told
me that because of the time zone difference and when
you were landing and you weren't going to be able
to talk to the embassy and confirm and consent and
we'd have to wait till monday. I was just looked like, well,
I might as well. Not good and you forget it.
It's over. My fiftieth birthday has just gone down the toilet.
Oh my goodness. Anyway, long story short, we found some solutions.
(12:58):
They were flexible and work with us, and you got
to give consent in a way that was still within
the rules, and we got the passport. So Saturday instead
of Friday, I flew out to Queenstown.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You guys, but that manned that you actually missed the
first day of our trail ride.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Which sounds like it was the hardest, most brutal, miserable
bay on a bike.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That it really was. We were riding through thirty kilometer
headwinds and to the point where the kids, who are
not obviously experienced.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Riders, they're not cyclists and they're.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Not strong on a bike. They actually had to weave
the path. They couldn't drive a straight line like it was.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Which is funny because rail trails don't have steep hills
like it's the ascent is there. It wasn't the ascent,
it was just how it.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Was the wind. And so halfway through the ride, I've
seen one of the children up ahead, they've stopped. I've
shown up. She's having a full blonde panic attack. Is
she was an absolute mess, could not breathe, she was
losing the plot.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
And so I had to I've still got another one
hundred and twenty seven killed.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm like, what this always happened when you're not here?
So I had to talk her through that. I managed
to work my way with her through that, and then not,
I don't know, five kilometers up the road, I've caught
up with one of our other daughters. And she literally like,
I don't know how she stayed upright. She was moving
so slowly because the wind was so bad, and she
(14:26):
was weaving, and just honestly, how she stood up, I
don't know. But she was bawling her eyes out and
she just she was like, I can't do this. She said,
there is no way I can do this for four days.
This is the worst. Like she was just having a
melt down.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I meanwhile, Emily and I were sitting on the plane
flying across the queen's town and thinking, oh, I can't
wait to get there.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And I thought, if we've got to do four days
of this, I just think this is going to be
an absolute.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
We gave this a year's notice and said go out
and practice writing, like, spend some time, get some killer
me in your legs, improve your fitness so that this
is not too hard that I mean, we gave them
so much notice and you know how many bike rides
they had. Zero They literally didn't get on the bike
zero zero.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So day two we finally reunited as a whole family.
You join us, you've got fresh legs, where like, I'm
not sure if we want to do this to go
for a big ride. And it was it was Emily's turn.
This was day one for her. She's eleven and she
rode forty one kilometers. Yeah, I mean, honestly, for a
kid who's never done that, let alone not done regular riding,
(15:36):
she did.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Just exception also got to highlight on both day one
and Day two, which were the two hardest days without question,
our eldest Chanel and her husband Jared, even though they
were dealing with a two year old, super team players,
super support. This is the great thing about big kids
if they can be a team player. They were happy
to ride beside the kids, give them encurry, give them food,
(16:01):
give them a push on the back, and help them
to keep on going. Like just it was so good
to see the team player thing. Oh I forgot to
mention this, well, what about the hay fever? Oh my god,
I had to buy a box of ninety because the
kids faces were swelling out.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
We were literally watching what do you call those little
fluffy things, dandylion, dandylion blow things. They were literally just
like through the whole sky. And some of our kids
don't actually suffer from hay fever generally, they were going nuts.
But our one daughter, who actually does suffer fairly regularly,
(16:36):
face was puffy, case was puffy, her eyes were just
she was in agony. And I did forget to mention
because this is actually a highlight for me when our
daughter was having the big meltdown on day one. I've
talked to her lots about, you know, kind of the
idea that at any moment in time, any event that
(16:57):
we experienced, it is not it's a new mutual experience.
It's not positive or negative until we decide.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah, it's our cognition is Yeah. The values or the
ideas or the way that we choose to interpret it
that makes it good about it?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah. And so I said to her, I know that
what you're doing is really hard right now, I said,
We're all doing it hard. We've all got different thresholds
for hard, but we're doing it hard. And I said,
so knowing and understanding that our thoughts matter, what's another
thought that you could have right now that would be
helpful because the one you're having is crushing your soul.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Other than I.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
And she literally screamed at me on the track and
she said, it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Doesn't make any difference.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
She was so mad. It was interesting because three days later,
I'm on the track and I'm done. I've got no
purp in my step. I was really struggling, and she
kind of slowed down so she could catch up with me,
and she's like, Mommy, how are you doing? And I said, actually,
you know what, I'm doing a bit tough today. And
she kind of looked at me and she said, make
(18:04):
sure you choose good thoughts and write off. And I thought,
the irony this kid who told me two days earlier
that thoughts didn't make made no difference.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well, the funny thing about that, as well, is that
I caught up with her writing beside our youngest eimily
literally having exactly the same conversation with her. You get
to choose your thoughts. I'm right here with you. You've
got this. You've been so strong all the way. But
this was the thing and this is why I wanted
to do the holiday. By the way, the views were stunning.
It wasn't all hard. The kids came together really well
(18:37):
and we had experiences that we will remember for the
rest of our lives. And the critical thing for me
is the kids came together, they supported each other, they
worked on hard things and genuinely the highlight for me
was when we got in the bus and we had
like a two and a half hour drive back to Queenstown.
It was all over three hour drive back to Queenstown.
(18:59):
When it was done, we went around the bus because
the ten of us filled up the bus and we
said to all the kids, well, what were your highlights?
And they all they just spoke in such glowing terms
about how much they'd loved the holiday, the bike riding.
They loved the fact that they did something hard, that
they were away from their screens. They were doing something
(19:19):
that was incompatible with being on a screen, and it
felt freeing for them. But the absolute best feedback of
all was that several of the kids said, we'd like
to do something like this again. When can we book
another trip?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
For me, I look at all of these little moments
and I honestly I do wish that we'd had a
videographer follow us because there were so many moments where
two children were riding side by side and one had
a hand on the back of the other because they
were struggling, or there was three across the path, or
just you know, the baby on the side of the
(20:00):
road decided she just had had enough and needed to
she was going to walk the pass.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
The two year old meltdowns were pretty spectacular.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
She was going to walk the past. She was done
ridings is going to walk.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
That's rough. You're two years old. You're sitting in the
back of one of those carriages, or you're sitting on
a baby seat on the back of a bike. It's cold,
you're not exercising like the whole nobody's talking to you
because you're behind. Yeah, this was a This was a
real challenge for Shanel, Jared and Indy and everyone did
it with flying colors. It was just such a treat.
I can't recommend it highly enough. The Otago Rail Trail,
(20:32):
it's not sponsored, we don'tet anything for it. We didn't
get a discount for the thing. We paid full freight
and it was not the cheapest trip we've ever done,
but it was. It was a highlight. It was a
real delight, and I'm excited about doing another thing like
that again as well.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
So, if you were going to round out the holiday,
what's your take home message?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Doing things that are incompatible with screens and that are
challenging a vastly better than sitting on a beach and
staring at a screen and doing nothing. That's really what
it is, and the way the kids responded to it
is what really drives that home for me. I mean,
the reality is I would much rather go on a
surfing trip and please myself, right, I'd much rather just
(21:17):
eat nice food by the beach. I get I get it,
But from a I'd rather choose enlargement rather than happiness,
and this was enlarging, and not just for me but
for the whole family. I cannot. I was gonna say,
I can't think of a better fiftieth birthday present. I
actually can. I'm not gonna lie I can, but I'm
(21:37):
not going to go into that here. I'm really glad
that we chose to do it, and another trip like
that is very much on my agenda. I'm already looking
at options and Emily can't wait to do it in Japan,
So that's what I'm looking at. Okay, I mean it
might takes few years to sleep up.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
He gonna ask me what might take on?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh yes, of course. I'm so sorry. We're out of
time and I was about to wrap it up, but
let's just wrap it up with your take home message.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
So as we did debrief with the kids on our
last night around the fire, I asked them.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
So funny, here we are sitting in the middle of
an Australian hot summer, and two weeks ago we were
literally sitting around the fire going, oh my goodness, that's
so gold.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
We had friends do this trip and that's why we
decided to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
They described it as idyllic. You know, the weather was perfect.
We literally rode through rain and you know, eight degrees
and like I said, thirty kilometer head wind. It was
so hard. But when I asked them what their biggest
learning was, one of the kids just said, I'm so
grateful that you taught us from such a young age
(22:41):
that we can do hard things. She said, because this
was really hard and I didn't want to come. And
she said, but I did something really hard and it
feels good.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
And this is resilience building right and.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
For me, outside of putting them into an uncomfortable setting
and asking them to do something hard, what I loved
the most and my take home is that when we're
willing to show up, we get to have experiences that
edify and build relationships. And coming from backgrounds and families
(23:20):
where often there are individuals who choose not to show up,
that is the greatest blessing in my life in yours,
I love that our kids choose to come on.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's provides research and admin and a
whole lot of other support and if you would like
more information about making your family happier, we'd love for
you to visit us at happy families dot com dot
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