Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. It's Friday. It
means that we revisit the week that was and share lessons, ideas,
and maybe even activities that could make a difference in
helping your family to be happier based on what's happening
in our home today. Kylie's insight into how involving grandparents
and technology can make your kids happier, and my little
(00:29):
insight about a whole lot of little things stay with us.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Good day.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Welcome to the Happy Families podcast, Real parenting solutions every
single day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are
Justin and Kylie Colsonhan. We're supposed to have some banter
at the start of this podcast. Is there anything you'd
like to banter about?
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I am so over three am starts.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Oh yeah, so we've mentioned this a couple of times
on the pod. Our daughter at industry school. She is
mucking out horse stables from literally three am. We have
to leave the house just before three to drive her
to the racetrack.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
And I really shouldn't be complaining because I'm not the
one who has to muck them out. No, she has
to get up, get herself ready, I do the driving driver.
He there and then she works for five hours.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's been and can I just mention I'm exhausted thinking
about I don't know if I should say this on
a but you've been a big grump this week, and
it's all because you're getting up at three o'clock in
the morning, and that's not what life's meant to be.
These are the things we do for our kids. So
amid all of your exhaustion, do you have an i'd
do better tomorrow for us?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I sure do.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, let's hear it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We give screens a really hard wrap for the most
part on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah, justifiably so for the most part.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
But I just think that sometimes they come in handy
and we can utilize them to our advantage. So our
grand baby, she only lives ten minutes down the road,
she's almost two, and she has had a massive vocabulary,
that kind of the word. She has had a massive vocabulatecabulary.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I believe you in you, I believe in you. I
know you can do this.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
She has a massive.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
This is what getting up and came for three am
drives five days in a row will do to you.
Maybe I need to be let's drive one more time.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
She's had a massive vocabulary.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Is that how you say you got it?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Explosions and goes wild. I don't even know where we're
going with this. I'd bit tomorrow, but this has been
attaining so far.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
And so she usually wakes up in the morning and
she says, ring wall we and so she'll she'll ring.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Me yeah, so you're Lolly, I'm Pops okay instead of
Nan and Granddad Lolly and Pops. So she'll say wing
wing wa.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So she's so adorable, and we FaceTime and as soon
as my face comes up onto the screen like she's
you can see she's looking in anticipation, and then she
sees me and she's like, it's whoey.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
She's so excited. And then at nighttime, before she goes
to bed, she'll often ask if she can ring as well,
and I just I love how technology allows us to
be in the same space even though we're not. And
so the other night she was showing me her favorite
bedtime story, and so we actually got to share a
bedtime story, even though I was sitting in my lounge
room and she was sitting in her bed, and it
(03:28):
was just this beautiful moment, and I thought how much
richer life is because of technology and how it allows
us to connect with the people that we love in
such meaningful ways, in a way that we've never been
able to do before.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
So this goes back to this thing that I've been
saying for our long time. Imagine if you used your
technology like you use a toothbrush, so it's just a tool.
You don't ever sit there and think, oh, it's been
an age since I've checked my toothbrush. I should just
go and have a look at it, like that's not
what you do, because it's not designed for anything except
brushing your teeth. And if we were to use tech
(04:03):
for the things that it's really truly been designed for,
high quality connection, getting business done, like really doing good
things technology, I wouldn't have a bad thing to say
about it. It's just that it's been co opted by
these mendatious CEOs who are just devastatingly harmful to children.
What you're describing here is what I think is premium
(04:24):
optimal technology use.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And I just I think our children's lives are richer for.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It, Like our daughter's vocabulary go so easily showing off.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now I just love how much richer our grand baby's
life is because she gets to experience relationships that she
otherwise wouldn't have access to.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, so I'm seeing a practical take home message here,
what's yours before I jump in, Maybe you've got the
same thing in mind.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
All of us have access to this technology, utilize it
to your advantage. If your grandparents don't live close by,
give them a call, Let the kids have FaceTime with them,
let them read stories like The more we have the
loved ones in our lives, the more connected, the more
grounded we are, and the more sense of identity our
(05:15):
children develop.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And I'm even thinking, if you've got kids that are
a certain age and you can't go to the bathroom
in peace, you could actually call your mom or your
dad or you're in walls and say, hey, I just
need five minutes. Would you have a five minute FaceTime
chat with your grandchild while I have five minutes of privacy,
I just need to go to the bathroom and driving
me up the wall and I reckon. Most grandparents would say, yeah,
(05:38):
I gotcha, I've got youa.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Over the years, your mum has done a wonderful job
at that. She has listened to them waffle or drag
drag the phone around the house.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
She's really listening, but she was on the phone with
them while they waffled. Yeah, all right, I love that
take home message in just a sec the little things
that add up to big things. My older Better Tomorrow
on the Happy Face Emily's podcast, Stay with us. Okay, Kylie,
(06:10):
we've heard about you and your sudden enthusiasm for technology.
I guess it plays a positive role in our lives
when we are intentional about using it the right way. Mine,
my old do better Tomorrow. I haven't really filled you
in on this, and I always get in trouble for cheating.
But here's the thing I left on Monday. We had
a massive weekend, and unfortunately a lot of it wasn't
(06:31):
family related. Huge weekend. We're in a situation now where
we've got one child who's going off to deal with
horses at three in the morning for her work experience,
and all of our big kids are kind of big
and doing stuff. We've only got Emily at home. We
always get in trouble for talking too much about Emily
from the other kids who don't feel like they get
(06:52):
to get any star power at all on the podcast,
and this week I left on Tuesday morning after having
a flat chat weekend and Monday, and I've been in
Victoria all week. So it's been a really, really busy
and intense week and it's hard to do an older
better tomorrow. But I'm not cheating, I promise. Here's mine.
(07:13):
I want to emphasize the value of the little things,
especially when you don't have time for an opportunity to
get involved in the big things. But the reality is,
go again, I believe in you, You've got this.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
But the reality is that the big things in our
lives are actually made up of a whole heap of
small things.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, and the little things actually are the big things.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
So here are my little things that I've just relished
this week. Are about to be eighteen year old daughter.
Whenever she walks in the door or whenever she sees
us in the corridor, her face lights up and she goes,
what's up? And I cherish it. I mean, I just
relish it. It tells me and he's in a good
mood and he's feeling like she wants to. It's just delightful.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
They've all got their own entrance because our twenty two
year old daughter walks in and she's like, Lucy, I'm home. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
She steals that from I love from the TV showing
like the fifties or sixties or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Before we showed it to her, she was like, what's six.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, and she's held onto it whenever she walks in
the front door. Lucy, I'm home. That's great. But I
love the wo's up. It just makes me smile, It
makes me happy. We've got a couple of kids who
can't walk past us in the corridor or bump into
us in the kitchen without asking for a high five
or a fist pump. And I reflect on all of
the research that shows that the most winningest teams, it's
(08:38):
such an American word, but the winningest teams in the
NBA are the teams that touch each other the most,
like the players are high fiving and tapping each other
on the bum and we've got kids that do that.
While I haven't been home a lot this week, every
time I have been home, are very, very tired. Fifteen
year old keeps on sort of creeping up on me
out of nowhere and then resting her head on my shoulder.
(09:00):
And putting her arms around my waist and just asking
for a cuddle, and a couple of times it's been
really inconvenient. I like, I don't have time for a cuddle.
I'm busy. And then I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm
a parenting expert, and I'll put my arm around her
and pull her close and tight and put my cheek
against her chin or her sorry, her forehead, and just
have that moment Emily and a bike ride, just grand
(09:25):
baby stuff. Like those FaceTime calls. I keep on getting
them at the wrong time. They're really inconvenient, but I
hear that little baby girl say hi, pops, and I'm
just in heaven. And maybe a big one. To wrap
up with, first date enthusiasm. One of our kids went
on a first date this week with somebody who has
demonstrated some level of interest. And seeing the thrill in
(09:49):
her face, seeing the way that she came home and
wanted to tell us all about it, and the enthusiasm
and the delight that she got from it. These are
all just little things. It's about she doesn't you like him?
I don't like any boy that's interested in our daughters.
She would be absolutely right.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I asked her, why not? She said, did you hear
the way Dad interrogated me at the end?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I just wanted to know about him.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Well, what was so funny is I was part of
that conversation. But she didn't think I was interrogating her.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, I mean I did say how old is he?
What does he do for work? Where does he live?
I probably had about fifteen questions, just one after the
other after the other. But here's the other thing they've
got on a first date. She doesn't know the answer
to ninety percent of my questions, like what did you
talk about?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Seriously, it's about getting to know each other. You don't
know any of the stuff that matters. How much does
he earn? What qualifications does he have? She didn't know,
She didn't know anything.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Wow, doesn't even know what Carrie drives.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
It's just big.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It was big. Yeah, I thought it was the little one.
It was the big one. Anyway. That's my old about
it tomorrow. It's about, no matter how busy you are,
and no matter how much your travel or how many
commitments are stacking up or how tired you are, to
be able to pause and just sit in that moment
and cherish the connections whatever they are, the way that
(11:08):
our children feel seen, hurt and valued by us, it
really makes family life joyful, purely, delightfully joyful. So this weekend,
we hope that a your kids get to have some
maybe face to face time, and if not face to
face time, maybe just some face time online with their
grandparents because that is good for relationships. And number two,
(11:31):
that you get the opportunity to really connect with your kids,
even if it's just small stuff. Taking those moments of
connection can build relationships in such healthy ways. That's all
for this week. Thanks so much for listening. We really
hope that this helps your family to be happier. If
it does, will you share this podcast with people who
are close to you. Just shouldn't be a quick text
and say, hey, check out this podcast. It helps me
(11:54):
to be a bitter parent and I'm hoping that maybe
it helps you to be a better parent too. We
will be a much less sleep deprived next week. We
can't wait to share more with you. Thanks so much
for listening. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
Ruland from Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's assists with research, admin
and other support. If you would like to make your
family happy. We've got a thousand bajillion resources at happy
(12:17):
families dot com dot au. Have a great weekend and
we'll talk to you on Monday.