November 2, 2025 • 14 mins
If every evening feels like emotional warfare, you’re not alone. Exhausted, desperate, and out of ideas? In this episode, Justin and Kylie share three powerful ways to turn chaotic, tear-filled nights into calm, connected moments — so bedtime stops being a battle and starts feeling peaceful again.
KEY POINTS
- The three pillars for calmer nights: routine, environment, and presence
- Why predictability helps kids feel safe (and parents feel sane)
- The surprising power of dim lights, soft music, and storytime
- What your kids are really asking for when they “stall” bedtime
- Simple, loving ways to reconnect — even when you’re out of patience
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“They just want to feel safe and secure and know that they’re loved — that’s the game.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson
- More resources: happyfamilies.com.au
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Create a predictable nightly rhythm — same order, same cues.
- Ditch screens an hour before bed and dim the lights.
- Be present, not perfect — a calm hug goes further than any rule.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
This is the Happy Families podcast today and thanks for
joining us today. Every night sometimes feels like it's a meltdown,
doesn't it. Parenting through explosive evenings? What do you do
when bedtime becomes emotional and even physical warfare. All of
the strategies aren't working. You're trying so hard to keep calm,
(00:27):
get the kids settled, and just turn off the lights
at a reasonable hour so that you can get some
shut eye yourself or just some adult time. Today on
the pod, we explore what to do when meltdowns are happening,
when evenings are explosive, when the fireworks are going off
because the lights are down and kids don't want to
go to sleep. That's coming up next. Stay with us. Gooday,
(00:52):
Welcome to the Happy Family's podcast, Real Pairing Solutions every
single Day. This is Australia's most downloaded paring podcast. We
adjusted in Clyde corson Kylie. Over the years with our
six kids, we have been through this so many times.
Explosive evenings, emotional warfare at night and parents just feeling completely,
utterly and in every way worn down.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'm thinking about so many nights right now and the
ones that have been The most challenging have been the
ones where I have nothing left in the tank, yep,
and I'm just wanting them to actually go through the
nighttime routine without me.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So we're pretty lucky. It's been a number of years
now since we've really had to battle this sort of stuff,
and we're more likely to be kept up not by
kids who are having big emotional tantrums about not wanting
to go to bed, but rather kids who have come
home late because they have been out having great time
and now they want to tell us all about their
awesome night. And we're exhausted at the other end of
the spectrum because of that. But as I reflect on
those nights, oh my goodness, laying on the floor with
(01:53):
my arm up through a cot, trying to tap that
baby off to sleep, falling asleep in somebody else's bed,
our children, of course, while they wander off and get
into your bed, because I've honestly before they did. When
you're going through it, it feels like it's never going to end.
I guess the main point of what I'm sharing here
is it does. It does because it's been years since
we've had to battle it. But today we wanted to
(02:14):
share three ideas that are going to really really move
the needle. Before I'd even made any notes, I said
to you, what do you think are the best answers here?
And you rattled off three things that were everything that
I would have written down. So you're going to take
the lead on this and guide us through these three
things when things are not working, when everything's falling apart.
What's the first thing that kids need to make sure
(02:34):
that nights are not explosive?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Routine? They need to have predictability in their evening.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Consistency is key. It helps kids to understand the structure
of the night and to do well. I know some
people right now are just they've just for and slapped themselves,
like we know, we've tried. It's not working. So that's
only one of three things. But let's talk about routine
for a sec handful of things to really help kids
to be calm. If you were to list them as
a general rule, what would they be.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Dimming the lights towards the end of the evening is
a really clear sign to kids that things are starting
to slow down.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And you can get smart globes now link them into
the Wi Fi, have it all set up so it's
on a timer and the lights just start to dim.
It's it's not me saying you've got to go to bed, kids,
it's the house. Look, the house is getting sleepy. We
did a podcast episode earlier in the year with a
couple of people who are doing exactly that in their
home and turning their home into a completely smart home.
What a great idea, works a treat. So you've got
(03:33):
light dimming, which just lowers the mood, lowers the energy,
lowers the alertness.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Shutting down screens at least.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Now before bed, please, Like, I know that there are
so many people who will defend my kids like to
play a game, or they like to watch a movie
or watch their favorite show, or they like to listen
to an audiobook on the iPad. We're not going to
convince you. If you're absolutely convinced that this is the
right thing, then we're not going to be able to
convince you otherwise. But there is no research to support this.
(04:03):
All of the research points in the other direction, and
certainly our experience as well would suggest that keep screens
out of their hands for at least an hour before bed.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And nothing beats storytime. It's the one time where you
get to just slow things down. You actually have that
kind of physical touch. You're in each other's arms and
you kind of it's coregulation, right, Yeah, you're calm, and
you calm them and you actually lull them into a
(04:33):
sense of security, safety, but sleep.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I'm going to add a couple of other things
to routine. First off, having dinner ideally as a family
around the table around about the same time every night.
Then it's straight into the bath or the shower, whatever
it is that you do in your home. And then
the lights are down low, everyone's calming down, screens are off,
and you're really moving into that story time, cuddles, sing
a song together, and then you just i mean ideally
(05:00):
hold them as they go to sleep, right, and they
can drift off in your arms. How nice is that?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It was actually cute. I was talking to our eldest daughter, Chanel,
and she has a two year old and they're really
strict on the TV time that she watched. She doesn't
watch it very often at all, But she woke up
the other morning and her dad had gotten up super
early so he could watch some sports on TV. And
she looked at him and she said, no TV Daddy
(05:26):
love no TV, turn it off, brilliant. That's so good.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
That's so good. Routine helps kids feel safe, predictable, everything's consistent.
It gives them structure. They feel like they can be competent.
That's our first of our three pillars after the break
pillars number two and three. When nighttime meltdowns are getting
too much and you're ready to crack and the kids
just won't go to sleep, stay with us. We're back.
(05:57):
It's the Happy Families podcast pill too, for how to
keep things from just blowing up and being explosive. Kylie,
you said we need a calm environment. A calm environment.
We sort of touched on that a little bit, with
the idea that we're going to have an effective and
solid structure, that there's going to be that real sense
(06:19):
of routine. But the calm environment's about more than just
having a routine. Like you can have music blaring, you
can have a TV going, you can have all the
lights on, or rambunctious kids that are older that can
get in the way of things. So let's walk through
the calm environment fairly briefly.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So when we had children in high school, but we
still had little children, I actually got to the point
where I had to tell my high school children that
they needed to go to their rooms and act as
though it was bedtime, even though they weren't going to
be going to sleep. So it created a sense that
everybody was doing the same thing. Firstly, and it created
(06:58):
that calm, RESTful environment because there was there was nothing
else going on.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, nobody goes to sleep when things are hyped.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
That's really nobody wants to miss out. Fomo's real, and
especially when you're three.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I remember when I was like seven or eight and
my parents would put me to bed, but they had
friends over for a dinner party, or they were entertaining,
and I'd sneak out of my room and I'd crawl
to the corner. I'd stick my head around the corner
of the wall so that i could watch and listen
and hear what all the grown ups were doing in
the living room.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Well, you don't even need to have people over, just
having the TV on and you know, kids go to bed,
Mum and dad are going to watch a movie or something.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Right, and the kids just feel like they're missing out total.
So the calm environment is really a We've got this
routine in structure. Oh you know what, I forgot to
mention for routine and structure. Sorry I'm interrupting myself here.
Going to bed at the same time every night really matters.
Research shows within thirty minutes of that bedtime fifteen minutes
either side has a huge impact on sleep quality and
sleep duration. But back to what we were saying, making
(07:54):
that environment feel like it is bedtime, it moves the needle.
It makes for such an important change in children's psychology
at bedtime.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And don't underestimate the power of music in your routine
that can create the calm that you want. When our
kids were really young, we actually had specific songs that
we would sing at specific times in their routine. One
of them was to go and wake them up in
the morning, right, Another one was to calm them down,
and another one was to bring them together for you know,
(08:26):
kind of devotional running devotion.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
And so those songs. If you're going to say, well,
music does work, please remember when we're looking for instrumental stuff,
stuff that doesn't have lyrics, or that isn't a popular
song that's just had the lyrics removed because there's an
instrumental version. We're talking about the stuff that your mum
would listen to if she goes in for a massage,
or maybe you would listen to it as well, that
(08:49):
really soft sort of stuff that sets that coming environment.
The tempo is right, the sounds are right, and it
helps kids to feel like they are getting sleepy. So
there's the calm vice, there's the solid structure and routine,
and the last thing.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
They need our presence.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
When you said calm environment and presence, I sort of argued, well,
it's really the same thing, right. If you're calm, you're
a calm, steady presence in their situation. And you push
back on that, and I think your pushbacks are really
important here.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I can be present, and we can have a calm
environment and have no desire to be part of the routine.
Like when I am done, I just I want to
go lie on my bed, and I'm hoping that everyone's
going to want to do the same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I'm not screaming, I'm not yelling. I'm not telling them
what to do. But you've tapped out, but I am
totally tapped out.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Right, And then what we're suggesting is let's tap in.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We have to. We have to because more times than not,
What they're actually craving is our time.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Our connection.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah, they want that connection desperately, and especially when they're young,
and so they will create whatever distractions they need to
just be with us for a little bit longer.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So steady presence means connecting, seeing, hearing, valuing, being with
To go back to the original topic of the day,
if you've got a child who is having mega meltdowns,
if you've got every night just thinking I cannot get
this kid to bed, and we get this question a
lot via the podcast channel. First of all, they will
grow out of it. That's a guarantee. It will sort
(10:24):
itself out. But in the meantime, by working on that
structure and developing it with them, getting the routine right
with their input number one. Number two, by making sure
that the environment is as calm as possible while being
reasonable about it. But the more fastid is you can
be here, the better. And number three, by being a
steady presence. This will move the needle in the vast
(10:46):
majority of cases and in those cases where it doesn't.
And we've been there with our kids.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I remember when we used to put our foot down
and go, Okay, enough is enough. Yeah, they're seven or
eight they can put themselves to bed, and we would
go through we of just crazy town because they wouldn't
do it. And finally you and I would look at
each other and go, why are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And looking back at it now with the wisdom and
hindsight of the years that we've been through with six
of our kids. If I was to be a new
parent again or a parent of a seven or a
twelve year old who's going through this and it's really hard,
I would literally just give you a hug and tell
you I love you, and then I'd walk out the
door and I'm just kidding, And then I would walk
out the bedroom door and go and hug them and
(11:31):
sleep in bed with them, or I would send them
into the big bed with you, and I would sleep
in their bed, like I don't care where you're sleeping,
so long as you feel safe and secure and know
that you're loved. And I don't care where I'm sleeping.
So long as you feel safe and secure and know
that you're loved. That's the game. That's all we're going for.
And if it means that I'm sleeping on the floor
with my hand up tapping you off to sleep, or
(11:54):
if it means that we're in different bedrooms because you
need to be with this person or that person to
feel safe and secure, whether it's mum or dad, or
your sister or your brother or whatever, then I'll do
whatever it takes, because that sleep, getting that sleep routine down,
it's so essential for everybody's health. And we've done that
time and time again. Like by the time we got
(12:15):
to the end of it, we were pretty good at it,
and we just realized, once we're asleep, it doesn't really
matter where we are or who are sleeping next to.
We're asleep, and all the matters is getting that sleep.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I was babysitting our two year old granddaughter the other
day and as my daughter walked out the door to
go to work, she looked at me and she said,
good luck trying to put it asleep. And I lay
in bed with her and she was just bouncing, and
she decided to cover me with all the pillows and
blankets and put me to sleep. And I was pretty tired.
(12:46):
I could have fallen asleep, and everything just went quiet,
and I put my head up and she poked her
head up. She got off the bed, she poked her
head up saw me and then gave me the biggest
grin and ran out the door. She was not having
anything with bedtime, but I just persisted. I went and
got I gave her a big cuddle. We've read some stories,
(13:07):
and then just slowly she just started to kind of
lean into me a little bit more, a little bit more.
That's so beautiful, and she went to sleep.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Like, Yeah, you get better at it as you get older.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But not only that, like being at this end of parenting,
you recognize how short the time is. When you're living it,
it feels like it is never going to end. And
there are still nights where we are exhausted, like we've
got nothing left in the tank to give, and yet
somehow we managed to find out just a little bit extra,
(13:40):
to give that extra hug, or to listen to a
monologue for a little bit too long. Yeah, because these people,
these kids, they amounted more than anything else in our lives.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Love it. Thanks for your input on that one, Kylie.
I am glad that you put the one together for us.
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
Bridge Media. Mimhammonds provides research, admin and other support. If
you think the ideas in this podcast could be helpful.
Make sure you share them with somebody who you know
that is struggling. Also, my book What Your Child Needs
(14:15):
From You will help you through these kinds of issues.
Check that wherever you buy books, and you can find
that book and other resources at happy families dot com
dot au
This is the Happy Families podcast today and thanks for
joining us today. Every night sometimes feels like it's a meltdown,
doesn't it. Parenting through explosive evenings? What do you do
when bedtime becomes emotional and even physical warfare. All of
the strategies aren't working. You're trying so hard to keep calm,
(00:27):
get the kids settled, and just turn off the lights
at a reasonable hour so that you can get some
shut eye yourself or just some adult time. Today on
the pod, we explore what to do when meltdowns are happening,
when evenings are explosive, when the fireworks are going off
because the lights are down and kids don't want to
go to sleep. That's coming up next. Stay with us. Gooday,
(00:52):
Welcome to the Happy Family's podcast, Real Pairing Solutions every
single Day. This is Australia's most downloaded paring podcast. We
adjusted in Clyde corson Kylie. Over the years with our
six kids, we have been through this so many times.
Explosive evenings, emotional warfare at night and parents just feeling completely,
utterly and in every way worn down.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'm thinking about so many nights right now and the
ones that have been The most challenging have been the
ones where I have nothing left in the tank, yep,
and I'm just wanting them to actually go through the
nighttime routine without me.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So we're pretty lucky. It's been a number of years
now since we've really had to battle this sort of stuff,
and we're more likely to be kept up not by
kids who are having big emotional tantrums about not wanting
to go to bed, but rather kids who have come
home late because they have been out having great time
and now they want to tell us all about their
awesome night. And we're exhausted at the other end of
the spectrum because of that. But as I reflect on
those nights, oh my goodness, laying on the floor with
(01:53):
my arm up through a cot, trying to tap that
baby off to sleep, falling asleep in somebody else's bed,
our children, of course, while they wander off and get
into your bed, because I've honestly before they did. When
you're going through it, it feels like it's never going to end.
I guess the main point of what I'm sharing here
is it does. It does because it's been years since
we've had to battle it. But today we wanted to
(02:14):
share three ideas that are going to really really move
the needle. Before I'd even made any notes, I said
to you, what do you think are the best answers here?
And you rattled off three things that were everything that
I would have written down. So you're going to take
the lead on this and guide us through these three
things when things are not working, when everything's falling apart.
What's the first thing that kids need to make sure
(02:34):
that nights are not explosive?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Routine? They need to have predictability in their evening.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Consistency is key. It helps kids to understand the structure
of the night and to do well. I know some
people right now are just they've just for and slapped themselves,
like we know, we've tried. It's not working. So that's
only one of three things. But let's talk about routine
for a sec handful of things to really help kids
to be calm. If you were to list them as
a general rule, what would they be.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Dimming the lights towards the end of the evening is
a really clear sign to kids that things are starting
to slow down.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And you can get smart globes now link them into
the Wi Fi, have it all set up so it's
on a timer and the lights just start to dim.
It's it's not me saying you've got to go to bed, kids,
it's the house. Look, the house is getting sleepy. We
did a podcast episode earlier in the year with a
couple of people who are doing exactly that in their
home and turning their home into a completely smart home.
What a great idea, works a treat. So you've got
(03:33):
light dimming, which just lowers the mood, lowers the energy,
lowers the alertness.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Shutting down screens at least.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Now before bed, please, Like, I know that there are
so many people who will defend my kids like to
play a game, or they like to watch a movie
or watch their favorite show, or they like to listen
to an audiobook on the iPad. We're not going to
convince you. If you're absolutely convinced that this is the
right thing, then we're not going to be able to
convince you otherwise. But there is no research to support this.
(04:03):
All of the research points in the other direction, and
certainly our experience as well would suggest that keep screens
out of their hands for at least an hour before bed.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And nothing beats storytime. It's the one time where you
get to just slow things down. You actually have that
kind of physical touch. You're in each other's arms and
you kind of it's coregulation, right, Yeah, you're calm, and
you calm them and you actually lull them into a
(04:33):
sense of security, safety, but sleep.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
So I'm going to add a couple of other things
to routine. First off, having dinner ideally as a family
around the table around about the same time every night.
Then it's straight into the bath or the shower, whatever
it is that you do in your home. And then
the lights are down low, everyone's calming down, screens are off,
and you're really moving into that story time, cuddles, sing
a song together, and then you just i mean ideally
(05:00):
hold them as they go to sleep, right, and they
can drift off in your arms. How nice is that?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It was actually cute. I was talking to our eldest daughter, Chanel,
and she has a two year old and they're really
strict on the TV time that she watched. She doesn't
watch it very often at all, But she woke up
the other morning and her dad had gotten up super
early so he could watch some sports on TV. And
she looked at him and she said, no TV Daddy
(05:26):
love no TV, turn it off, brilliant. That's so good.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
That's so good. Routine helps kids feel safe, predictable, everything's consistent.
It gives them structure. They feel like they can be competent.
That's our first of our three pillars after the break
pillars number two and three. When nighttime meltdowns are getting
too much and you're ready to crack and the kids
just won't go to sleep, stay with us. We're back.
(05:57):
It's the Happy Families podcast pill too, for how to
keep things from just blowing up and being explosive. Kylie,
you said we need a calm environment. A calm environment.
We sort of touched on that a little bit, with
the idea that we're going to have an effective and
solid structure, that there's going to be that real sense
(06:19):
of routine. But the calm environment's about more than just
having a routine. Like you can have music blaring, you
can have a TV going, you can have all the
lights on, or rambunctious kids that are older that can
get in the way of things. So let's walk through
the calm environment fairly briefly.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So when we had children in high school, but we
still had little children, I actually got to the point
where I had to tell my high school children that
they needed to go to their rooms and act as
though it was bedtime, even though they weren't going to
be going to sleep. So it created a sense that
everybody was doing the same thing. Firstly, and it created
(06:58):
that calm, RESTful environment because there was there was nothing
else going on.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, nobody goes to sleep when things are hyped.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
That's really nobody wants to miss out. Fomo's real, and
especially when you're three.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I remember when I was like seven or eight and
my parents would put me to bed, but they had
friends over for a dinner party, or they were entertaining,
and I'd sneak out of my room and I'd crawl
to the corner. I'd stick my head around the corner
of the wall so that i could watch and listen
and hear what all the grown ups were doing in
the living room.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Well, you don't even need to have people over, just
having the TV on and you know, kids go to bed,
Mum and dad are going to watch a movie or something.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Right, and the kids just feel like they're missing out total.
So the calm environment is really a We've got this
routine in structure. Oh you know what, I forgot to
mention for routine and structure. Sorry I'm interrupting myself here.
Going to bed at the same time every night really matters.
Research shows within thirty minutes of that bedtime fifteen minutes
either side has a huge impact on sleep quality and
sleep duration. But back to what we were saying, making
(07:54):
that environment feel like it is bedtime, it moves the needle.
It makes for such an important change in children's psychology
at bedtime.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And don't underestimate the power of music in your routine
that can create the calm that you want. When our
kids were really young, we actually had specific songs that
we would sing at specific times in their routine. One
of them was to go and wake them up in
the morning, right, Another one was to calm them down,
and another one was to bring them together for you know,
(08:26):
kind of devotional running devotion.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
And so those songs. If you're going to say, well,
music does work, please remember when we're looking for instrumental stuff,
stuff that doesn't have lyrics, or that isn't a popular
song that's just had the lyrics removed because there's an
instrumental version. We're talking about the stuff that your mum
would listen to if she goes in for a massage,
or maybe you would listen to it as well, that
(08:49):
really soft sort of stuff that sets that coming environment.
The tempo is right, the sounds are right, and it
helps kids to feel like they are getting sleepy. So
there's the calm vice, there's the solid structure and routine,
and the last thing.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
They need our presence.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
When you said calm environment and presence, I sort of argued, well,
it's really the same thing, right. If you're calm, you're
a calm, steady presence in their situation. And you push
back on that, and I think your pushbacks are really
important here.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I can be present, and we can have a calm
environment and have no desire to be part of the routine.
Like when I am done, I just I want to
go lie on my bed, and I'm hoping that everyone's
going to want to do the same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I'm not screaming, I'm not yelling. I'm not telling them
what to do. But you've tapped out, but I am
totally tapped out.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Right, And then what we're suggesting is let's tap in.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
We have to. We have to because more times than not,
What they're actually craving is our time.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Our connection.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah, they want that connection desperately, and especially when they're young,
and so they will create whatever distractions they need to
just be with us for a little bit longer.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So steady presence means connecting, seeing, hearing, valuing, being with
To go back to the original topic of the day,
if you've got a child who is having mega meltdowns,
if you've got every night just thinking I cannot get
this kid to bed, and we get this question a
lot via the podcast channel. First of all, they will
grow out of it. That's a guarantee. It will sort
(10:24):
itself out. But in the meantime, by working on that
structure and developing it with them, getting the routine right
with their input number one. Number two, by making sure
that the environment is as calm as possible while being
reasonable about it. But the more fastid is you can
be here, the better. And number three, by being a
steady presence. This will move the needle in the vast
(10:46):
majority of cases and in those cases where it doesn't.
And we've been there with our kids.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I remember when we used to put our foot down
and go, Okay, enough is enough. Yeah, they're seven or
eight they can put themselves to bed, and we would
go through we of just crazy town because they wouldn't
do it. And finally you and I would look at
each other and go, why are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And looking back at it now with the wisdom and
hindsight of the years that we've been through with six
of our kids. If I was to be a new
parent again or a parent of a seven or a
twelve year old who's going through this and it's really hard,
I would literally just give you a hug and tell
you I love you, and then I'd walk out the
door and I'm just kidding, And then I would walk
out the bedroom door and go and hug them and
(11:31):
sleep in bed with them, or I would send them
into the big bed with you, and I would sleep
in their bed, like I don't care where you're sleeping,
so long as you feel safe and secure and know
that you're loved. And I don't care where I'm sleeping.
So long as you feel safe and secure and know
that you're loved. That's the game. That's all we're going for.
And if it means that I'm sleeping on the floor
with my hand up tapping you off to sleep, or
(11:54):
if it means that we're in different bedrooms because you
need to be with this person or that person to
feel safe and secure, whether it's mum or dad, or
your sister or your brother or whatever, then I'll do
whatever it takes, because that sleep, getting that sleep routine down,
it's so essential for everybody's health. And we've done that
time and time again. Like by the time we got
(12:15):
to the end of it, we were pretty good at it,
and we just realized, once we're asleep, it doesn't really
matter where we are or who are sleeping next to.
We're asleep, and all the matters is getting that sleep.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I was babysitting our two year old granddaughter the other
day and as my daughter walked out the door to
go to work, she looked at me and she said,
good luck trying to put it asleep. And I lay
in bed with her and she was just bouncing, and
she decided to cover me with all the pillows and
blankets and put me to sleep. And I was pretty tired.
(12:46):
I could have fallen asleep, and everything just went quiet,
and I put my head up and she poked her
head up. She got off the bed, she poked her
head up saw me and then gave me the biggest
grin and ran out the door. She was not having
anything with bedtime, but I just persisted. I went and
got I gave her a big cuddle. We've read some stories,
(13:07):
and then just slowly she just started to kind of
lean into me a little bit more, a little bit more.
That's so beautiful, and she went to sleep.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Like, Yeah, you get better at it as you get older.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But not only that, like being at this end of parenting,
you recognize how short the time is. When you're living it,
it feels like it is never going to end. And
there are still nights where we are exhausted, like we've
got nothing left in the tank to give, and yet
somehow we managed to find out just a little bit extra,
(13:40):
to give that extra hug, or to listen to a
monologue for a little bit too long. Yeah, because these people,
these kids, they amounted more than anything else in our lives.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Love it. Thanks for your input on that one, Kylie.
I am glad that you put the one together for us.
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
Bridge Media. Mimhammonds provides research, admin and other support. If
you think the ideas in this podcast could be helpful.
Make sure you share them with somebody who you know
that is struggling. Also, my book What Your Child Needs
(14:15):
From You will help you through these kinds of issues.
Check that wherever you buy books, and you can find
that book and other resources at happy families dot com
dot au
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