November 28, 2022 • 20 mins
Flex & Froomes chat about the 25% rule for anxiety, and Flex questions why apple juice tastes like onion. Plus, help!! I had a threesome with a ‘friends with benefits’ and now they want a relationship.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Flex in Rooms daily podcast brought to you.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Listen to here Flex. We do a lot of investigating
on this podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Honestly, I feel like I would love to do more
investigations because coming to the bottom of something and not
really having a clear answer is one of my favorite hobbies.
I like having the answer. There are no answers. There's
never been a one hundred This is a thing kind
of thing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What I actually like, let me rephrase, is when we
all come to a unanimous decision that's not necessarily factual,
but we're all catching the arm of it.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
We're in agreement. That's a really beautikncur. Oh, it's gorgeous,
it's lovely, but it's rare. And have we come to
that today? I don't think so. My tummy hurts, honestly,
I was. I told you I was gurgling before curdling.
It was stopped sitting, correct.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I had heated up for capasta for lunch, but I
used a different type of pasta I use, like this
squig the Spirals. The Spirals, yeah, but a different brand,
like a home brand from IgA, And they were a
little bit smaller and a little bit softer, like perhaps
I overcooked them. A little bit. They did like a
little bit overcooked? So they did, didn't they? Yeah, just
a touch? What have you eaten a bit? No, you
(01:14):
don't like vodka pasta. I love vod capasta from Mateo
by a chees Oh right, what if I bring in
some next. I try to do so many things for you,
but I love languages are not a line, No, it is.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I love acts of service, This is my thing. But
I also know that when people cook for you, it's
a labor of love, and I don't want to shit
on the sanctity of a gift by not enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
That's fair enough. I mean, you've already done that a
few times with my cooking. But will but you you
fed me chicken and then said it was dry?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
What was I meant to say?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So many people do that. I try and tell my
friends like my mom used to do it all the time.
My mom is a big cook and like classic taking
one for the team, cooking for my extended relatives every
week after she's gotten home from a twelve hour shift.
No one's helping up clean up either, kind of servant vibes.
And sometimes she'd be like she made like a beautiful
roast pork belly, and maybe like the pork belly crackling
(02:09):
isn't like one hundred percent crackling. She's like, Oh, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm home, I'm sorry. Just constant apologies. You
make it taste worse when you apologize. Yeah, just run
with it. The other day I made this absolutely disgusting
fucked curry with jar sauce, and my mate came over,
who's like a real foodie, and she didn't say so
(02:31):
this is delicious. I thought, if only she lied. I
don't know if she lied or not, but maybe it
was good. It wasn't good. I tasted it alas fuck.
I love the podcast. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Freaks flex and frooms.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Up next is a love line. Had a threesome with
friends with benefits. Now she wants a relationship. While I
don't ooh strap in, we've all been there. She, who's
a twenty eight year old female, has been in a
friends with benefit relationship with me, twenty seven male, for
the past year. Okay, recently, she told me that one
of her fantasies is to have a male female male threesome,
and after some deliberation, I agreed. Love it sis. Yeah,
(03:11):
I love that. It's a bit of me. Really, Okay,
I'm the opposite. We had the threesome around two weeks
ago and I thought it was it, But yesterday my
friends had Benefits really surprised me by saying that she
wants an exclusive relationship with me now. I will be honest.
I had asked her once or twice before to be
my GIF in the past, but she said she wasn't ready. WHOA,
now she's ready the tables dot turn. But how do
(03:34):
I tell her that I literally saw her have sex
with someone else right in front of my eyes, and
I'm not likely to forget that. Yes, we were not exclusive,
but feelings were there, and I was able to convince
myself of the threesome only after telling myself that we
will never actually be in a relationship. I would never
agree to a threesome with someone I'm dating. But how
do I tell her all this without not coming across
(03:54):
as her ful?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
This is so stressful.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
This is a twists and turn, so to recap people
Friends with Benefits. The guy I want to take the girl,
the girl wasn't ready. The girl suggests a threesome. He
agrees to it. On the condition that they're not going
to be together anyway they do it. She decides she
wants to be with him, He's like, nah, it was
never gonna be you. So that I say, what a setup?
(04:20):
What a stitch up?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
By who? I mean everybody involved?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's a mutual stitch up because you have the girl
here who everybody knows that once you confess your attraction
to someone or you'll want to be in a romantic relationship.
If it doesn't amount to anything and you still maintain
a friendship, you know that the person's still keen.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
For example, if I said to you through me, we
should date and you're like, no, let's just be coworkers.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It never happened it could you know? I'd say yes no.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But if you said no, yeah, and then we continue
to be coworkers, there's gonna be an undertone of like
will they won't they?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Will they won't they lingering? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
So then you have this girl who's kind of done
him a disservice, maybe being like I don't want to
be with you, I'm not ready, but what I am
four it is to sleep with you and another person
like you think he was ready for that. He wasn't,
and then on his end, him agreeing to it is fine,
so he should enjoy, but wanting to tell her that
he won't date her because he's seen her have sex
(05:15):
with somebody else in front of his eyes. It's never
gonna go down. Well, it's not gonna go down. Well bruh, Yeah,
it's a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
How are you going? I I mean it comes down
to what I take from this is that if you
were in a relationship with someone, could you have a
threesome with someone else in terms of seeing them boots
someone else? Yes, you could. I could as well, But
I think for a lot of people concept I've got
some friends who are dating and one of them is like, yeah,
(05:45):
I'd be down for a threesome, but the other one
is like, no, I couldn't. I wonder as well if
there's some elements of I know a lot of guys
are fine with girl and girl but not keen on
guy guy. I feel like that's the default for a
lot of men.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
But either way, what's done is done. I don't think
that he has to go into detail about why he
doesn't want to be with her, because you're not going
to find the right words to say that I have
now ridded you of potential girlfriend possibility because I saw
you enjoy a very natural thing. So just say no
that you're not interested in it anymore. And if she
seeks out more information, you now have to do the
(06:24):
mental math and say, is this honesty worth it? Is
it going to land in a way that's beneficial for
both parties?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Likely not, and if not, it's time to find a
new friends with benefits.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Literally flex and frooms.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Before I met miss Frumini, before we engaged in many
a conversation, many a discourse, I used to scroll through
videos on my timeline, like self development videos, and everyone
hit to me. I was like, this is all valuable information.
Wasn't until I started sharing them with you where I
realized that, you know, it's not very helpful for the
(06:57):
person who's actually dealing with the thing. So, for example,
I would scroll past the video talking about how not
everyone will like you, and I'm like, that's real, that's
great information. And then I would share that video with
you and you'd like that give me anxiety? King's sick
cool cool cool cool cool. So I came across this video.
It's called the twenty five percent rule for anxiety, and
I want to know if when you hear this it's
(07:19):
empowering and helpful it makes you feel really enabled to
walk through the world with confidence, or if it is
the reason why you have an anxiety attack.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Remember the twenty five percent rule for social anxiety. Twenty
five percent of people will like you and nothing you
can do will make them not like you. Twenty five
percent of people won't like you, and nothing you can
do will make them like you. Twenty five percent of
people will like you, but something you do could make
them not like you. Twenty five percent of people won't
like you, but something you do could make them like you.
You can't really tell who is who in most cases,
and you have no control over who they are and
how they react to you, so it doesn't make sense
(07:51):
to try and figure it out or try to control it.
Just let it go. Someone's reaction or perception of you
is not your fault. Just do your best, and don't
let yourself get caught up using your imagination to guess
what people thinking about you. Let me repeat the last part.
Don't waste time and energy worrying about or assuming you
know what anyone is thinking about you using your imagination
is most likely not accurate at all, and especially if
you have anxiety, it can't be trusted anyways. You don't
(08:12):
need to respond to anything immediately. You don't need to
go out of your way to make sure someone doesn't
think the wrong thing. In the majority of situations, it
just doesn't matter, and it's okay for people to be wrong.
So take a load off your mind and don't let
your imagination get the best of you. Remember the twenty
five percent rule for social anxiety.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
It's not an internal loop.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
At one point, I feel like when he said twenty
five percent of people will like you and there's something
you can do about it, He's like, yah, I.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Love this Vie, and then it was a downhill from there.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
That to me, I hear that, I'm like, those are
fantastic odds, because what you're saying is half people I
will meet will like me and half won't. And that
feels like pretty accurate.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, because twenty five percent of the people so half
of the people that like you, So it's fifty cents
of people like you. Yes, twenty five percent will like
you no matter what. The other twenty five will like
you except for when you do something wrong. Yes, that
is anxiety manifest Oh, I think, but it's just a fact.
Is it a fact?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Though?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
How do they come up with these numbers? I mean,
let's say the numbers are different.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Let's say it's like ten percent of people will like
you and there's nothing you can do about it. For
then nine people won't like you and there's nothing you
could do about it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I guess it's good, but it's very antithetical to how
anxiety works. Yes, but I believe that anxiety is something
that you should try to work through. So this is
probably a very important part of it, particularly with social anxiety.
So perhaps hearing this theory with help from a psychologist
to help hold your hand through it. Perhaps it is
the writing for a large fee.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Instead of unsolicited on the job. I'm like, what this
this trigger.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Triggering as hell? Nah, I kind of get it. It's
probably a good thing to know, especially on the internet,
because I think the odds will be even worse.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Yes, Yes, on TikTok nine people are ready to roast
you one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Rip.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
This is flex and frooms on Kada classes.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
In session here is where you'll do the most learning.
For today, We've updated the curriculum. We've got some new
data and some new evidence to support our suspicions that
Instagram is the new dating app.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
This is through me hypothesis. Please explain. My hypothesis was
that with the new notes app, you can put a
little status up and when people go to their DMS,
there's a little picture of you with a bubble above
your head, and you can put in whatever you like.
So I decided, being a single woman coming into the
spring summer season, yes, I need to get near it,
and so I put all right, i'll bite who's single? Yes,
(10:41):
and we wanted to see what happened. Now. My hypothesis
came when I first saw the notes feature, because I thought,
you're already in the dms, and when you go into
your DMS, you're horny looking for a little bit of
self validation.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay, don't continue. Sorry, I can't hide my reactions.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I didn't mean to act like that. So it's not
just me. No, it's not just me, And so I
put it out there. Did they get any bites? I
don't kiss and tell, but I'll say yeah I did.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Did you hear that grumble? But also through me said, okay,
I'll bite who's single. I said, I feared that that
would encourage you know friends, you know doing banter to
come through as opposed to real leads. And we were
looking for real leads right We're trying to convert. So
I put up a note of my own and said, okay,
(11:36):
who's taking me on a date? So two very opposing
strategies for the same outcome.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I was looking at the discourse around this on the
video that we put up, yes, and people were saying
that maybe your approach is a little bit too.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Let's actually read out some of these comments, because I
know not everybody's on Instagram like they used to be.
Some people have deactivated, done the monthly hiatus.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No judgment, no judgment. So here we are. I'm just
gonna read through.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
This person says I did post you up the other
night and got a few bites. I think you're both
onto something. From experience, I can confirm it absolutely is
the new dating app. Someone said, we need the MSN
function where you can log in and log at a
million times and hope you crush will see through me.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Is my player?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I choose you flex It filters out any possible platonic
vibes and gets you what you want. Oh my god,
did Froom's longest tune coffee DM slide happen from this?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Do we get a half made on that? What happened
with that?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
We haven't. I have to put the I have to
put the video on Instagram, but I'm a bit scared
to put it up because I'm worried. Like my feo
is that when you get near it and then you
start saying on Instagram, I'm getting near it, I'm getting
near it, it drives up. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So
I think that's gonna have to be parked for a
little while. Yeah, get the coins up in terms.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Like we let people know we are getting near it,
but the specifics of what we got near have to
remain a mystery. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay cool.
So and then we kept going people like Frims will win,
Flex will win, La La la la, You're all wrong. Okay.
This is my issue with doing studies. You don't get
the results you want, you get the results you need.
I can confirm what resulted on my end is a
(13:11):
bunch of people, I'd say four people I often flirt with,
like a flirt, a flirtation ship yep. Mostly platonic flirtation
ships coming through wasting my time. I said, please, you're
clogging up the space. You're clogging up the space. It
was never gonna be you. So there was that I did,
(13:32):
How do I phrase this? Make progress with my crush?
We'll leave it at that, We'll leave it at that
and yep, yep. But most of all, I'd say, from
my perspective, it will not be then new Hinge because
the only people you have access to in the notes
app is people you follow and people who follow you, right,
and so now you have to start following all of
(13:52):
your prospects and they have to start following you. It's
just it's too difficult, too many steps. You're better off
just reacting to an Instagram story.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
True that this is the thing of why I wasn't
so forward. Is that, as we always say, plausible deniability
when it comes to dating. We want to say, oh,
I was just joking, But it made me think about,
oh my god, who are the people that I follow?
Who are the people that follow me? There's form of flames,
there's work contacts, there's people who are not quite down
with the humor, and yet I'm coming in straight and
(14:23):
I know because not that many people do know. It's
I'd be hitting up the top regardless of how often
we So it's giving you an early adopter. It's giving
people another opportunity to unfollow. Oh no, why would you
think that? Yeah, like old flames, I hard don't want
to see this.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No way, it's not even like that. What I will
say is, I did wonder who thought we were being
facetious and just taking the piss and who thought we
were being free?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
They totally thought we were taking the piece after we
did that video. Let's be honest, because no one wants
to end up on the podcast, are you sure? Yeah?
Who knows. All gonna say is we're getting near it, folks,
and I suggest you also getting get near its summer
spring experience.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
This is flex and froomes.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I'm often googling stuff, but how do I explain this?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Like the other day, I googled why does my mouth
taste sour after chocolate chip biscuits? A lot doesn't come up,
but that's odd to me. I also googled the other
day why does my mouth taste sour after dinner rolls?
You know those ones you get and you put them
in the oven and then they're like, oh, it's the
starch and the sodium and the bi carb and the
(15:29):
yeast or whatever. I don't know, it's it's reacting with
my inner mouth bacteria. But like you need the bacteria
in your mouth to do the stuff, babes. I don't know,
but I was at the airport the other day and
I'm big on apple juice. IM beg on all juices actually,
but usually apple juice is the dominant juice at airport,
which I find odd because you think it be orange juice.
But I think it's because you can tell when orange
juice is off and you can't tell when apple juice
(15:51):
is off, or can you?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Because why did.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I open this spring valley? One of those tops have
a little suckle and then it comes washing over me
like it does every time I'm at the airport. This
apple juice tastes like onions, straight onions or better.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
If you have fond memories of being a child and
having your parents cut up fruit for you on the
cross contamination board that's been used to cut up veggies beforehand,
and so you get the bit of apple that's been
cut with the with the onion board and you get
to be the onion residuse, right, you know what I'm
talking about. Huh, you know what I'm talking about. It's
exactly like that, except in liquid form. And so when
I put it on the internet, people did say not many,
(16:29):
but enough said oh my god, this happens to me
too all the time. So it could be one of
two things. Either my taste buds work perfectly and I'm
really tasting what apples are at the core onion, or
it is like a coriander DNA thing.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Okay, we do nice in facts. Let's go through the facts.
You are a reforming picky eater. I would say you're
still probably eighty percent pickI eater, but coming out of it. Okay, dogs, however,
I definitely say something in this thank you. But you
(17:06):
can also get in your own head. It's like when
you think you're sick and then suddenly you feel absolutely
foully ill. So maybe you got a little tiny hint
of it. Maybe you've just eaten like a hash brown
that had a little bit too much salt on it.
Is that what happened?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Well, No, I did have a banana bread at the
same time, still a fruit though, still a fruit one
in exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
There's really nothing worse than cracking a drink open and
it tasting like balls when you know what it should
taste like. Exactly.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
So if we know anyone, I don't know, if we
need maybe like a food scientist that can tell us
about the chemical compounds of certain things in the way
they combined to make them taste different in my mouth.
But I'm telling you, chocolate is savory number one. It's
not a sweet and apple juice often tastes like onion.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I think you've got a problem. I don't think it's me,
But thank you so much for listening. I love chocolate.
Actually brought some with me in my bag, just giving
me a pep up.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
You're listening to Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Okay, look Flex has just tagged me in a pick
in a in a Instagram.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Story one thing about me, and I will say it's
one of my better skills and gifts. I'm always documenting
the thing about me. If you're coming out, you'll leave
the night with a batch of content you can repurpose
me nothing nothing.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Some videos of you the other day we went to
a gig, and.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Do I have them exactly exactly all right, Well, I
am in a sleep kind of mood lately.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I've been doing big fat naps every weekend? Are you actually? Yeah?
How many hours?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I had to cut myself short on Sunday, so you
last yesterday and I did what did I do? I
did four thirty pm to five thirty pm. Oh, an
actual nap, yeah, which is a bit dangerous given it's
so close to nighttime. Literally, so I ended up getting
my housemate to sleep with me. Oh, just so I'm
made sure that yeah. Okay, speaking of sitting, when a
(18:54):
herald the other day put something on the Instagram story
about what happens when we sleep, okay, and apparently it's
a lot. So I want to read out some facts.
You probably already know them because you're a big stick.
You know it is what it is. We know there's
four stages, yes, anyone who did psychology in high school? Woman, Yes,
and it becomes progressively deeper as we go on, and
it accounts for about seventy five to eighty percent of
(19:17):
our total sleep time. Which little did people know that
if you're drunk, you don't get to rem really because
you don't dream. You often just wake up like nothing's
happened in your sleep.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That's really odd. Alcohol is poisoned. Thank you so much
for sharing. Do you want to do something more exciting?
And I'm gonna stop you there?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I didn't even I didn't even get to the last bit.
I'll just quickly finish.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah. Your brain builds up all sorts of toxic crap,
like actual toxins, and then being asleep drains them. I
never had thought about it like that. I need more information,
you know, I just give snippets. Do you hear? Truly?
I might tell us more. You don't have anything to
tell us.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast
for more. Tune Need's Acado out on DAB or stream
it on iHeartRadio.
The Flex in Rooms daily podcast brought to you.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Listen to here Flex. We do a lot of investigating
on this podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Honestly, I feel like I would love to do more
investigations because coming to the bottom of something and not
really having a clear answer is one of my favorite hobbies.
I like having the answer. There are no answers. There's
never been a one hundred This is a thing kind
of thing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What I actually like, let me rephrase, is when we
all come to a unanimous decision that's not necessarily factual,
but we're all catching the arm of it.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
We're in agreement. That's a really beautikncur. Oh, it's gorgeous,
it's lovely, but it's rare. And have we come to
that today? I don't think so. My tummy hurts, honestly,
I was. I told you I was gurgling before curdling.
It was stopped sitting, correct.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
I had heated up for capasta for lunch, but I
used a different type of pasta I use, like this
squig the Spirals. The Spirals, yeah, but a different brand,
like a home brand from IgA, And they were a
little bit smaller and a little bit softer, like perhaps
I overcooked them. A little bit. They did like a
little bit overcooked? So they did, didn't they? Yeah, just
a touch? What have you eaten a bit? No, you
(01:14):
don't like vodka pasta. I love vod capasta from Mateo
by a chees Oh right, what if I bring in
some next. I try to do so many things for you,
but I love languages are not a line, No, it is.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I love acts of service, This is my thing. But
I also know that when people cook for you, it's
a labor of love, and I don't want to shit
on the sanctity of a gift by not enjoying it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
That's fair enough. I mean, you've already done that a
few times with my cooking. But will but you you
fed me chicken and then said it was dry?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
What was I meant to say?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So many people do that. I try and tell my
friends like my mom used to do it all the time.
My mom is a big cook and like classic taking
one for the team, cooking for my extended relatives every
week after she's gotten home from a twelve hour shift.
No one's helping up clean up either, kind of servant vibes.
And sometimes she'd be like she made like a beautiful
roast pork belly, and maybe like the pork belly crackling
(02:09):
isn't like one hundred percent crackling. She's like, Oh, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm home, I'm sorry. Just constant apologies. You
make it taste worse when you apologize. Yeah, just run
with it. The other day I made this absolutely disgusting
fucked curry with jar sauce, and my mate came over,
who's like a real foodie, and she didn't say so
(02:31):
this is delicious. I thought, if only she lied. I
don't know if she lied or not, but maybe it
was good. It wasn't good. I tasted it alas fuck.
I love the podcast. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Freaks flex and frooms.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Up next is a love line. Had a threesome with
friends with benefits. Now she wants a relationship. While I
don't ooh strap in, we've all been there. She, who's
a twenty eight year old female, has been in a
friends with benefit relationship with me, twenty seven male, for
the past year. Okay, recently, she told me that one
of her fantasies is to have a male female male threesome,
and after some deliberation, I agreed. Love it sis. Yeah,
(03:11):
I love that. It's a bit of me. Really, Okay,
I'm the opposite. We had the threesome around two weeks
ago and I thought it was it, But yesterday my
friends had Benefits really surprised me by saying that she
wants an exclusive relationship with me now. I will be honest.
I had asked her once or twice before to be
my GIF in the past, but she said she wasn't ready. WHOA,
now she's ready the tables dot turn. But how do
(03:34):
I tell her that I literally saw her have sex
with someone else right in front of my eyes, and
I'm not likely to forget that. Yes, we were not exclusive,
but feelings were there, and I was able to convince
myself of the threesome only after telling myself that we
will never actually be in a relationship. I would never
agree to a threesome with someone I'm dating. But how
do I tell her all this without not coming across
(03:54):
as her ful?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
This is so stressful.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
This is a twists and turn, so to recap people
Friends with Benefits. The guy I want to take the girl,
the girl wasn't ready. The girl suggests a threesome. He
agrees to it. On the condition that they're not going
to be together anyway they do it. She decides she
wants to be with him, He's like, nah, it was
never gonna be you. So that I say, what a setup?
(04:20):
What a stitch up?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
By who? I mean everybody involved?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's a mutual stitch up because you have the girl
here who everybody knows that once you confess your attraction
to someone or you'll want to be in a romantic relationship.
If it doesn't amount to anything and you still maintain
a friendship, you know that the person's still keen.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
For example, if I said to you through me, we
should date and you're like, no, let's just be coworkers.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It never happened it could you know? I'd say yes no.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But if you said no, yeah, and then we continue
to be coworkers, there's gonna be an undertone of like
will they won't they?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Will they won't they lingering? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
So then you have this girl who's kind of done
him a disservice, maybe being like I don't want to
be with you, I'm not ready, but what I am
four it is to sleep with you and another person
like you think he was ready for that. He wasn't,
and then on his end, him agreeing to it is fine,
so he should enjoy, but wanting to tell her that
he won't date her because he's seen her have sex
(05:15):
with somebody else in front of his eyes. It's never
gonna go down. Well, it's not gonna go down. Well bruh, Yeah,
it's a bit.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
How are you going? I I mean it comes down
to what I take from this is that if you
were in a relationship with someone, could you have a
threesome with someone else in terms of seeing them boots
someone else? Yes, you could. I could as well, But
I think for a lot of people concept I've got
some friends who are dating and one of them is like, yeah,
(05:45):
I'd be down for a threesome, but the other one
is like, no, I couldn't. I wonder as well if
there's some elements of I know a lot of guys
are fine with girl and girl but not keen on
guy guy. I feel like that's the default for a
lot of men.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
But either way, what's done is done. I don't think
that he has to go into detail about why he
doesn't want to be with her, because you're not going
to find the right words to say that I have
now ridded you of potential girlfriend possibility because I saw
you enjoy a very natural thing. So just say no
that you're not interested in it anymore. And if she
seeks out more information, you now have to do the
(06:24):
mental math and say, is this honesty worth it? Is
it going to land in a way that's beneficial for
both parties?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Likely not, and if not, it's time to find a
new friends with benefits.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Literally flex and frooms.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Before I met miss Frumini, before we engaged in many
a conversation, many a discourse, I used to scroll through
videos on my timeline, like self development videos, and everyone
hit to me. I was like, this is all valuable information.
Wasn't until I started sharing them with you where I
realized that, you know, it's not very helpful for the
(06:57):
person who's actually dealing with the thing. So, for example,
I would scroll past the video talking about how not
everyone will like you, and I'm like, that's real, that's
great information. And then I would share that video with
you and you'd like that give me anxiety? King's sick
cool cool cool cool cool. So I came across this video.
It's called the twenty five percent rule for anxiety, and
I want to know if when you hear this it's
(07:19):
empowering and helpful it makes you feel really enabled to
walk through the world with confidence, or if it is
the reason why you have an anxiety attack.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Remember the twenty five percent rule for social anxiety. Twenty
five percent of people will like you and nothing you
can do will make them not like you. Twenty five
percent of people won't like you, and nothing you can
do will make them like you. Twenty five percent of
people will like you, but something you do could make
them not like you. Twenty five percent of people won't
like you, but something you do could make them like you.
You can't really tell who is who in most cases,
and you have no control over who they are and
how they react to you, so it doesn't make sense
(07:51):
to try and figure it out or try to control it.
Just let it go. Someone's reaction or perception of you
is not your fault. Just do your best, and don't
let yourself get caught up using your imagination to guess
what people thinking about you. Let me repeat the last part.
Don't waste time and energy worrying about or assuming you
know what anyone is thinking about you using your imagination
is most likely not accurate at all, and especially if
you have anxiety, it can't be trusted anyways. You don't
(08:12):
need to respond to anything immediately. You don't need to
go out of your way to make sure someone doesn't
think the wrong thing. In the majority of situations, it
just doesn't matter, and it's okay for people to be wrong.
So take a load off your mind and don't let
your imagination get the best of you. Remember the twenty
five percent rule for social anxiety.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
It's not an internal loop.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
At one point, I feel like when he said twenty
five percent of people will like you and there's something
you can do about it, He's like, yah, I.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Love this Vie, and then it was a downhill from there.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
That to me, I hear that, I'm like, those are
fantastic odds, because what you're saying is half people I
will meet will like me and half won't. And that
feels like pretty accurate.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
No, because twenty five percent of the people so half
of the people that like you, So it's fifty cents
of people like you. Yes, twenty five percent will like
you no matter what. The other twenty five will like
you except for when you do something wrong. Yes, that
is anxiety manifest Oh, I think, but it's just a fact.
Is it a fact?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Though?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
How do they come up with these numbers? I mean,
let's say the numbers are different.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Let's say it's like ten percent of people will like
you and there's nothing you can do about it. For
then nine people won't like you and there's nothing you
could do about it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I guess it's good, but it's very antithetical to how
anxiety works. Yes, but I believe that anxiety is something
that you should try to work through. So this is
probably a very important part of it, particularly with social anxiety.
So perhaps hearing this theory with help from a psychologist
to help hold your hand through it. Perhaps it is
the writing for a large fee.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Instead of unsolicited on the job. I'm like, what this
this trigger.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Triggering as hell? Nah, I kind of get it. It's
probably a good thing to know, especially on the internet,
because I think the odds will be even worse.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Yes, Yes, on TikTok nine people are ready to roast
you one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Rip.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
This is flex and frooms on Kada classes.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
In session here is where you'll do the most learning.
For today, We've updated the curriculum. We've got some new
data and some new evidence to support our suspicions that
Instagram is the new dating app.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
This is through me hypothesis. Please explain. My hypothesis was
that with the new notes app, you can put a
little status up and when people go to their DMS,
there's a little picture of you with a bubble above
your head, and you can put in whatever you like.
So I decided, being a single woman coming into the
spring summer season, yes, I need to get near it,
and so I put all right, i'll bite who's single? Yes,
(10:41):
and we wanted to see what happened. Now. My hypothesis
came when I first saw the notes feature, because I thought,
you're already in the dms, and when you go into
your DMS, you're horny looking for a little bit of
self validation.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay, don't continue. Sorry, I can't hide my reactions.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I didn't mean to act like that. So it's not
just me. No, it's not just me, And so I
put it out there. Did they get any bites? I
don't kiss and tell, but I'll say yeah I did.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Did you hear that grumble? But also through me said, okay,
I'll bite who's single. I said, I feared that that
would encourage you know friends, you know doing banter to
come through as opposed to real leads. And we were
looking for real leads right We're trying to convert. So
I put up a note of my own and said, okay,
(11:36):
who's taking me on a date? So two very opposing
strategies for the same outcome.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I was looking at the discourse around this on the
video that we put up, yes, and people were saying
that maybe your approach is a little bit too.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Let's actually read out some of these comments, because I
know not everybody's on Instagram like they used to be.
Some people have deactivated, done the monthly hiatus.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No judgment, no judgment. So here we are. I'm just
gonna read through.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
This person says I did post you up the other
night and got a few bites. I think you're both
onto something. From experience, I can confirm it absolutely is
the new dating app. Someone said, we need the MSN
function where you can log in and log at a
million times and hope you crush will see through me.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Is my player?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I choose you flex It filters out any possible platonic
vibes and gets you what you want. Oh my god,
did Froom's longest tune coffee DM slide happen from this?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Do we get a half made on that? What happened
with that?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
We haven't. I have to put the I have to
put the video on Instagram, but I'm a bit scared
to put it up because I'm worried. Like my feo
is that when you get near it and then you
start saying on Instagram, I'm getting near it, I'm getting
near it, it drives up. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So
I think that's gonna have to be parked for a
little while. Yeah, get the coins up in terms.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Like we let people know we are getting near it,
but the specifics of what we got near have to
remain a mystery. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay cool.
So and then we kept going people like Frims will win,
Flex will win, La La la la, You're all wrong. Okay.
This is my issue with doing studies. You don't get
the results you want, you get the results you need.
I can confirm what resulted on my end is a
(13:11):
bunch of people, I'd say four people I often flirt with,
like a flirt, a flirtation ship yep. Mostly platonic flirtation
ships coming through wasting my time. I said, please, you're
clogging up the space. You're clogging up the space. It
was never gonna be you. So there was that I did,
(13:32):
How do I phrase this? Make progress with my crush?
We'll leave it at that, We'll leave it at that
and yep, yep. But most of all, I'd say, from
my perspective, it will not be then new Hinge because
the only people you have access to in the notes
app is people you follow and people who follow you, right,
and so now you have to start following all of
(13:52):
your prospects and they have to start following you. It's
just it's too difficult, too many steps. You're better off
just reacting to an Instagram story.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
True that this is the thing of why I wasn't
so forward. Is that, as we always say, plausible deniability
when it comes to dating. We want to say, oh,
I was just joking, But it made me think about,
oh my god, who are the people that I follow?
Who are the people that follow me? There's form of flames,
there's work contacts, there's people who are not quite down
with the humor, and yet I'm coming in straight and
(14:23):
I know because not that many people do know. It's
I'd be hitting up the top regardless of how often
we So it's giving you an early adopter. It's giving
people another opportunity to unfollow. Oh no, why would you
think that? Yeah, like old flames, I hard don't want
to see this.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No way, it's not even like that. What I will
say is, I did wonder who thought we were being
facetious and just taking the piss and who thought we
were being free?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
They totally thought we were taking the piece after we
did that video. Let's be honest, because no one wants
to end up on the podcast, are you sure? Yeah?
Who knows. All gonna say is we're getting near it, folks,
and I suggest you also getting get near its summer
spring experience.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
This is flex and froomes.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I'm often googling stuff, but how do I explain this?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Like the other day, I googled why does my mouth
taste sour after chocolate chip biscuits? A lot doesn't come up,
but that's odd to me. I also googled the other
day why does my mouth taste sour after dinner rolls?
You know those ones you get and you put them
in the oven and then they're like, oh, it's the
starch and the sodium and the bi carb and the
(15:29):
yeast or whatever. I don't know, it's it's reacting with
my inner mouth bacteria. But like you need the bacteria
in your mouth to do the stuff, babes. I don't know,
but I was at the airport the other day and
I'm big on apple juice. IM beg on all juices actually,
but usually apple juice is the dominant juice at airport,
which I find odd because you think it be orange juice.
But I think it's because you can tell when orange
juice is off and you can't tell when apple juice
(15:51):
is off, or can you?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Because why did.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I open this spring valley? One of those tops have
a little suckle and then it comes washing over me
like it does every time I'm at the airport. This
apple juice tastes like onions, straight onions or better.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
If you have fond memories of being a child and
having your parents cut up fruit for you on the
cross contamination board that's been used to cut up veggies beforehand,
and so you get the bit of apple that's been
cut with the with the onion board and you get
to be the onion residuse, right, you know what I'm
talking about. Huh, you know what I'm talking about. It's
exactly like that, except in liquid form. And so when
I put it on the internet, people did say not many,
(16:29):
but enough said oh my god, this happens to me
too all the time. So it could be one of
two things. Either my taste buds work perfectly and I'm
really tasting what apples are at the core onion, or
it is like a coriander DNA thing.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Okay, we do nice in facts. Let's go through the facts.
You are a reforming picky eater. I would say you're
still probably eighty percent pickI eater, but coming out of it. Okay, dogs, however,
I definitely say something in this thank you. But you
(17:06):
can also get in your own head. It's like when
you think you're sick and then suddenly you feel absolutely
foully ill. So maybe you got a little tiny hint
of it. Maybe you've just eaten like a hash brown
that had a little bit too much salt on it.
Is that what happened?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Well, No, I did have a banana bread at the
same time, still a fruit though, still a fruit one
in exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
There's really nothing worse than cracking a drink open and
it tasting like balls when you know what it should
taste like. Exactly.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
So if we know anyone, I don't know, if we
need maybe like a food scientist that can tell us
about the chemical compounds of certain things in the way
they combined to make them taste different in my mouth.
But I'm telling you, chocolate is savory number one. It's
not a sweet and apple juice often tastes like onion.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I think you've got a problem. I don't think it's me,
But thank you so much for listening. I love chocolate.
Actually brought some with me in my bag, just giving
me a pep up.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
You're listening to Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Okay, look Flex has just tagged me in a pick
in a in a Instagram.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Story one thing about me, and I will say it's
one of my better skills and gifts. I'm always documenting
the thing about me. If you're coming out, you'll leave
the night with a batch of content you can repurpose
me nothing nothing.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Some videos of you the other day we went to
a gig, and.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Do I have them exactly exactly all right, Well, I
am in a sleep kind of mood lately.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I've been doing big fat naps every weekend? Are you actually? Yeah?
How many hours?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I had to cut myself short on Sunday, so you
last yesterday and I did what did I do? I
did four thirty pm to five thirty pm. Oh, an
actual nap, yeah, which is a bit dangerous given it's
so close to nighttime. Literally, so I ended up getting
my housemate to sleep with me. Oh, just so I'm
made sure that yeah. Okay, speaking of sitting, when a
(18:54):
herald the other day put something on the Instagram story
about what happens when we sleep, okay, and apparently it's
a lot. So I want to read out some facts.
You probably already know them because you're a big stick.
You know it is what it is. We know there's
four stages, yes, anyone who did psychology in high school? Woman, Yes,
and it becomes progressively deeper as we go on, and
it accounts for about seventy five to eighty percent of
(19:17):
our total sleep time. Which little did people know that
if you're drunk, you don't get to rem really because
you don't dream. You often just wake up like nothing's
happened in your sleep.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
That's really odd. Alcohol is poisoned. Thank you so much
for sharing. Do you want to do something more exciting?
And I'm gonna stop you there?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I didn't even I didn't even get to the last bit.
I'll just quickly finish.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah. Your brain builds up all sorts of toxic crap,
like actual toxins, and then being asleep drains them. I
never had thought about it like that. I need more information,
you know, I just give snippets. Do you hear? Truly?
I might tell us more. You don't have anything to
tell us.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast
for more. Tune Need's Acado out on DAB or stream
it on iHeartRadio.
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