Welcome to Have a Go's special daily coverage of the Tokyo 2020 Games.
Many thought it wouldn't happen, but through sheer determination (and water-tight contracts) the IOC have fought off a global pandemic to muscle this thing in to existence.
Sport is a microcosm of society - it gives us hope and dares us to dream... or some shit - but do the Japanese even want this? Meanwhile, the athletes are under strict orders not to engage in any coital activities in the Village. What's the point of winning Gold if you can't wear your medal out on the circuit to attract women?
There's already been controversies - our equestrians are on the nose beers, our tennis players are getting COVID, our basketballers getting into altercations - while our softball team invoked the Mercy Rule in their hiding at the hands of a rampant Japan. Meanwhile, the Matilda's took a noble stand against racism... only to be outdone by New Zealand yet again.
Finally, AOC boss John Coates is feeling bloody hot right now after landing Brisbane 2032. How good's absolute, unchallenged power?
Audio production courtesy of Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.
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