Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Only say good things. He is one of the more
incredible memoirs I've ever read. Now it comes from Crystal Hefner,
who is a widow of the late Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner,
and she's with us to talk about the mansion and
everything else. Welcome Crystal.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Crystal. You married Hefner at the age of twenty six,
when he was eighty six. Everything that we've heard about
the Playboy Mansion goes into folklore. Why did you do it?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
That is a great question, And I think back then
I didn't really have the tools that I have now.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, I mean it was a different time. Back then.
It was pre me too, and this was a man
who was praised by the media and the world.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Any feelings I had that were a little bit off,
I just I pushed them down, and I because I'm like, Okay,
something must be wrong with me, because this person is
iconic and everyone loves him.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So I just try to make it work.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
It's very easy for us to sit here on the
outside and be like, oh, well, clearly you know money
and fame, But for you, it sounds like, at least
at some point everyone that was involved had love for yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Mean I went there.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Gosh, I was twenty one when I first went up
there and Playboy. You know, you hear of Playboy and
you're just I was drawn in. I would see the
women in the magazines and think they're so powerful and
now the world at their feet, and I wanted to
be part of it. And Playboy was meant to Sam
for like freedom and expression, and yeah, I soon realized
that it was the opposite for me, Like I felt
(01:22):
pretty trapped there, but you know, I stuck with it
for so long, and a lot of people ask me, oh,
why don't you leave? Why don't you leave? And it's
hard when you're when you're in that situation. You know,
when I think of abuse, I think of like physical abuse,
or I did, but you know I was abused emotionally, financially,
all the other ways.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
That is the thing about this book. I think anybody
picking it up thinking they're going to, you know, find
out about the celebs that you know, what it was
like in the grotto and everything else. This is so
so much more than these And one of the stories
that really hit home to me about I guess the
power that he had. If you can just tell me
about the lovebirds and what were happening and where the
love birds were. That to me is standing Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
My gosh, I can't reread that page without crying. So
I appreciate you bringing that up. And yeah, there was
a golden cage in his bathroom. It was a big bathroom,
big big area, and he had love birds, a pair
of love birds, and one of.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Them died and it got replaced, and.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Then another one died again, and they just kept dying,
and they kept replacing them over and over and over.
And I expected the cage and found out that the
little metal ball that you push they push on to
get the water out was stuck, and so they were
all dying of thirst, and nobody realized they were just
replacing these birds and replacing these birds. And you know,
I do think it related a lot to the women there,
(02:39):
like we were all just replaceable.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Did you ever felt that he loved you?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I think loved me the best way he knew how.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I think because he was a narcissistic man, which I
didn't really realize until later. I think he loved himself,
and because I was his mirror reflecting his self importance
back at him, he liked that and loved that.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
So I think he loved me way you knew.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
How why now, Crystal, for you to come out with
all this sort of this memo.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, well it took a while.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You know. The book is called Only Say Good Things.
I made have a promise I would only say good
things about him as he was getting older. But after
the mansion, I remember trying to date again and a
friend set me up with a matchmaker and they a
matchmaker asked me like, oh, what do you like? And
it's a simple question, but I didn't know, and I
don't know what I like. I don't even know who
I am. I completely lost myself to someone else. I
(03:30):
feel like other people must be in relationships that this
happened to them, And so I did go into like
a psychology kind of standpoint on it, and I wanted
to write a book that could hopefully help other women
in these situations.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Christ when you went into something like the Playboy Mansion,
what were your friends saying? What were people that were
outside that saying? And then all of a sudden, you go, Okay,
now I'm marrying this man. I think that's one of
the things that a lot of people might struggle understand
to go, well, hang on, where was someone going, honey?
You why you know, get out of this is going
to be a bad thing.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, you know, whoever reads the book knows. I. You know,
I lost my dad when I was twelve, and I
just put my mom and she said, uh, you know, oh,
I could have been a playboy bunny. And you know
I had the love of my life, my high school sweetheart.
He died in the war in Iraq. And yeah, so
I went up to the mansion thinking, you know, I've
had I've had a love of my life, and I,
(04:22):
you know, what do I what else do I have
to lose? And my mom was right there, She's like, oh,
I could have been a bunny. But but now I
asked her, I said, why did you let me go there?
And she said, you know you were you were young,
but you're still adults. So she thinks I would have
just made my own decision.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
But it wasn't the stage though that you knew when
he wanted to have six with you, Bob, what height.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Oh gosh, oh yeah, it was part partly that and
partly we would be watching movies and then I'd be
sitting next to him and he'd pull a piece of
tissue out of his pocket and none wrap it and
would be a biagrapill in there and he'd take it like,
oh gosh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
It's gonna suck. You've gotta feel like you're being used
all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Surely, yeah, I did, and that place was very transactional.
I think if you were still alive now, I have
some very choice.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Words for him. And if I had a daughter, I
would never let her.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
No, no, Well, surely if he was a live now,
he'd be in prison like for all the stuff that
was happening on, Like you know, I don't know. To me,
it just sounds like and you know, I wasn't trying
to be tried with regards to what he ate, but
essentially if he ate a blt as opposed to what
was it normally that he would have for dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Oh, he would have lipt and like some noodle soup
from out of a packet with like a block of
cream cheese and some crackers.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was very great.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah, he would have belt on the sex nates.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
And that that's the fuel. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Well, so how do you I mean you've written about it.
That must be a really good thing for you personally,
and I can guarantee lots of people would be listening
to this guy, and this is not what I expected
to come out of the Playboy Mansion. Was there any
fun moments? Was there any wow moments? There must have
been certainly at the start where you saw celebrities or
(06:06):
you saw the way that he was faded that you
actually enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah. When I first saw the mansion, I thought it
was beautiful. I thought the parties were decorated really well.
They put a lot of money into the parties. But
after a while it was hard. And you know, I
know that the other girls next door, Holly and Bridget,
they have a podcast and they talk about different events
and things they liked, and you know, some parts that
they liked, and there they were hanging on to. And
I'm like, and I think back, and I don't have
(06:29):
anything like that. There's nothing that I really miss or
fully enjoyed.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
What were some of the for those of us that
haven't really been in this world, some of the rules,
like the guidelines that you had to stay within while
you were living in this strange Playboy world.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, I think for you know, the guests and the
celebrities that was very different compared to have girlfriend and
later wife. But yeah, I had to be in by
six o'clock like most days I was in before.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
It was Dirk.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
When I finally left the mansion at the very end,
I didn't even know how to turn on the lights
in my car because I was so used to being
home before dark.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
And yeah, he would you know, I had to bleach my.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Hair like white blonde, and I have blisters on my
scalp and he would say, we're something more colorful where
the flag which is the Playboy Bunny logo? And yeah,
he would just tell me how to everything, how to behave,
how to dress.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
And it was very It sounds like you're a hostage,
a prisoner. What would you what would you say to
him if you had a chance to speak to him again.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Now, I don't think he realized the damage that he did,
and I think I would try and help him understand
how he hurt people.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Chris, I'm really really sorry that this has been such
a big part of your life and that you have
lived through the East and I almost feel dirty at
the jokes and the laughter that all of us have
taken and around. You know, what was the Playboy manager,
you know mentioned in the grotto. It's kind of that
thing where you go actually for all the stuff that
we used to think was sexy and fun and desirable
(08:03):
was just a living hell for you. And I'm really,
really really sorry for you and the other women that
went through this. Thank you, thank you so much for
joining us.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Bye.
Only say good things. He is one of the more
incredible memoirs I've ever read. Now it comes from Crystal Hefner,
who is a widow of the late Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner,
and she's with us to talk about the mansion and
everything else. Welcome Crystal.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Crystal. You married Hefner at the age of twenty six,
when he was eighty six. Everything that we've heard about
the Playboy Mansion goes into folklore. Why did you do it?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
That is a great question, And I think back then
I didn't really have the tools that I have now.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, I mean it was a different time. Back then.
It was pre me too, and this was a man
who was praised by the media and the world.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Any feelings I had that were a little bit off,
I just I pushed them down, and I because I'm like, Okay,
something must be wrong with me, because this person is
iconic and everyone loves him.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So I just try to make it work.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
It's very easy for us to sit here on the
outside and be like, oh, well, clearly you know money
and fame, But for you, it sounds like, at least
at some point everyone that was involved had love for yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Mean I went there.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Gosh, I was twenty one when I first went up
there and Playboy. You know, you hear of Playboy and
you're just I was drawn in. I would see the
women in the magazines and think they're so powerful and
now the world at their feet, and I wanted to
be part of it. And Playboy was meant to Sam
for like freedom and expression, and yeah, I soon realized
that it was the opposite for me, Like I felt
(01:22):
pretty trapped there, but you know, I stuck with it
for so long, and a lot of people ask me, oh,
why don't you leave? Why don't you leave? And it's
hard when you're when you're in that situation. You know,
when I think of abuse, I think of like physical abuse,
or I did, but you know I was abused emotionally, financially,
all the other ways.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
That is the thing about this book. I think anybody
picking it up thinking they're going to, you know, find
out about the celebs that you know, what it was
like in the grotto and everything else. This is so
so much more than these And one of the stories
that really hit home to me about I guess the
power that he had. If you can just tell me
about the lovebirds and what were happening and where the
love birds were. That to me is standing Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
My gosh, I can't reread that page without crying. So
I appreciate you bringing that up. And yeah, there was
a golden cage in his bathroom. It was a big bathroom,
big big area, and he had love birds, a pair
of love birds, and one of.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Them died and it got replaced, and.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Then another one died again, and they just kept dying,
and they kept replacing them over and over and over.
And I expected the cage and found out that the
little metal ball that you push they push on to
get the water out was stuck, and so they were
all dying of thirst, and nobody realized they were just
replacing these birds and replacing these birds. And you know,
I do think it related a lot to the women there,
(02:39):
like we were all just replaceable.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Did you ever felt that he loved you?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I think loved me the best way he knew how.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I think because he was a narcissistic man, which I
didn't really realize until later. I think he loved himself,
and because I was his mirror reflecting his self importance
back at him, he liked that and loved that.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
So I think he loved me way you knew.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
How why now, Crystal, for you to come out with
all this sort of this memo.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, well it took a while.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You know. The book is called Only Say Good Things.
I made have a promise I would only say good
things about him as he was getting older. But after
the mansion, I remember trying to date again and a
friend set me up with a matchmaker and they a
matchmaker asked me like, oh, what do you like? And
it's a simple question, but I didn't know, and I
don't know what I like. I don't even know who
I am. I completely lost myself to someone else. I
(03:30):
feel like other people must be in relationships that this
happened to them, And so I did go into like
a psychology kind of standpoint on it, and I wanted
to write a book that could hopefully help other women
in these situations.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Christ when you went into something like the Playboy Mansion,
what were your friends saying? What were people that were
outside that saying? And then all of a sudden, you go, Okay,
now I'm marrying this man. I think that's one of
the things that a lot of people might struggle understand
to go, well, hang on, where was someone going, honey?
You why you know, get out of this is going
to be a bad thing.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, you know, whoever reads the book knows. I. You know,
I lost my dad when I was twelve, and I
just put my mom and she said, uh, you know, oh,
I could have been a playboy bunny. And you know
I had the love of my life, my high school sweetheart.
He died in the war in Iraq. And yeah, so
I went up to the mansion thinking, you know, I've
had I've had a love of my life, and I,
(04:22):
you know, what do I what else do I have
to lose? And my mom was right there, She's like, oh,
I could have been a bunny. But but now I
asked her, I said, why did you let me go there?
And she said, you know you were you were young,
but you're still adults. So she thinks I would have
just made my own decision.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
But it wasn't the stage though that you knew when
he wanted to have six with you, Bob, what height.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Oh gosh, oh yeah, it was part partly that and
partly we would be watching movies and then I'd be
sitting next to him and he'd pull a piece of
tissue out of his pocket and none wrap it and
would be a biagrapill in there and he'd take it like,
oh gosh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
It's gonna suck. You've gotta feel like you're being used
all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Surely, yeah, I did, and that place was very transactional.
I think if you were still alive now, I have
some very choice.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Words for him. And if I had a daughter, I
would never let her.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
No, no, Well, surely if he was a live now,
he'd be in prison like for all the stuff that
was happening on, Like you know, I don't know. To me,
it just sounds like and you know, I wasn't trying
to be tried with regards to what he ate, but
essentially if he ate a blt as opposed to what
was it normally that he would have for dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Oh, he would have lipt and like some noodle soup
from out of a packet with like a block of
cream cheese and some crackers.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It was very great.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah, he would have belt on the sex nates.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
And that that's the fuel. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Well, so how do you I mean you've written about it.
That must be a really good thing for you personally,
and I can guarantee lots of people would be listening
to this guy, and this is not what I expected
to come out of the Playboy Mansion. Was there any
fun moments? Was there any wow moments? There must have
been certainly at the start where you saw celebrities or
(06:06):
you saw the way that he was faded that you
actually enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah. When I first saw the mansion, I thought it
was beautiful. I thought the parties were decorated really well.
They put a lot of money into the parties. But
after a while it was hard. And you know, I
know that the other girls next door, Holly and Bridget,
they have a podcast and they talk about different events
and things they liked, and you know, some parts that
they liked, and there they were hanging on to. And
I'm like, and I think back, and I don't have
(06:29):
anything like that. There's nothing that I really miss or
fully enjoyed.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
What were some of the for those of us that
haven't really been in this world, some of the rules,
like the guidelines that you had to stay within while
you were living in this strange Playboy world.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, I think for you know, the guests and the
celebrities that was very different compared to have girlfriend and
later wife. But yeah, I had to be in by
six o'clock like most days I was in before.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
It was Dirk.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
When I finally left the mansion at the very end,
I didn't even know how to turn on the lights
in my car because I was so used to being
home before dark.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
And yeah, he would you know, I had to bleach my.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Hair like white blonde, and I have blisters on my
scalp and he would say, we're something more colorful where
the flag which is the Playboy Bunny logo? And yeah,
he would just tell me how to everything, how to behave,
how to dress.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
And it was very It sounds like you're a hostage,
a prisoner. What would you what would you say to
him if you had a chance to speak to him again.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Now, I don't think he realized the damage that he did,
and I think I would try and help him understand
how he hurt people.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Chris, I'm really really sorry that this has been such
a big part of your life and that you have
lived through the East and I almost feel dirty at
the jokes and the laughter that all of us have
taken and around. You know, what was the Playboy manager,
you know mentioned in the grotto. It's kind of that
thing where you go actually for all the stuff that
we used to think was sexy and fun and desirable
(08:03):
was just a living hell for you. And I'm really,
really really sorry for you and the other women that
went through this. Thank you, thank you so much for
joining us.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Bye.
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